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They were in a big and cozy lounge. The show drained them from the last drops of energy. Mike and Jared sat across from each other on the sofas, an antique-looking coffee table between them. Chester sprawled in the armchair on Jared’s right a bit behind Mike’s spot.
Jared put his ankle on a knee. He sipped from his drink and sighed relaxed.
“Why aren’t you a couple?” he said letting words swim into space as if they were addressed to no one in particular. He stared at the ceiling and pronounced this sentence tasting the meaning of it. It was as if he forgot the two men were still in the room.
Oh, Chester was almost ready for Jared to throw a bomb like this any time during their mutual tour. He knew the guy; he was his friend after all. So he simply woke up from his tired daze and waited for Mike to turn it into a joke or turn it back at Jared questioning his own gay looks. So uninteresting. Chester didn’t even trouble himself to look at Mike.
But nothing could have prepared Chester for what he heard.
Mike sat up, put elbows on his knees, took out his cell phone from the front pocket of his pants and laid it on the coffee table. Fingers still on the device, and his eyes were on it too.
“We actually are.” Mike answered as a matter of fact and lifted his eyes to Jared. He let the sentence hang in the air.
As tired as he was Chester could only widen his eyes at that. If he was holding something he would have dropped it. But still he heard the sound of something falling. Or was it a sound of his heart?
What?
It was very obvious that Jared wasn’t prepared for this kind of answer. He looked at Mike half-amused half-shocked. Interested, he even sat up.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me, man? Why did – ” Jared was ready to congratulate the guys, but Mike interrupted him with explanation.
“Well, you know this type of thing,” he drawled. “When it happens - you never know.” It seemed Mike was very conscious of what he was saying. But also very serious. “I know how important we are to each other. We’re so close it hurts sometimes.”
Chester’s eyes got wider and he froze not believing what he was hearing. He was waiting for Mike to laugh and call it a prank any minute, but it still hasn’t happened. It felt like the rapper was tittering on the edge of sarcasm and seriousness. Chester almost bargained with himself that it was all real, but he somehow got very intoxicated by some trash and missed it out completely. Missed the day he and Mike got together.
“You know it when you meet the soul mate”, he smiled shortly at Jared and winked, then gave Chester a quick look returning his full attention to the long-haired singer. “I just don’t know how people let go of the close ones so easily! The world is so huge and full of people – it’s hard to find the right one, hm?”
Chester felt like a ghost that nobody could see, like Mike was talking about him not aware he was there and heard it all. It was unusual to hear Mike being so talkative about his feelings at all.
“You know, if we were poor living in the streets, and I had Chester, and somebody told me to exchange Chester for all the wealth in the world, you know what I’d do?”
Jared slowly shook his head.
“I’d tell them go f*** themselves”. He said it proudly though it sounded a bit childish and made Jared smile from ear to ear.
‘This can’t be happening.’ Chester thought to himself. He already felt as if he was Mike’s date, as if Mike asked him out, as if he was… was… as if Mike proposed to him! This was a surreal other-worldly feeling. He discretely squeezed the fabric of the armchair to check it was real. Like it was not enough he pinched himself and winced. He still couldn’t understand what was off. Mike complimenting him to Jared, Mike saying all this romantic movie stuff, Mike spilling the beans. What? Well, he surely feels that, but Chester rarely hears it.
“But how did you –” Jared tried to insert a question but failed. Mike went on like he didn’t hear him. The feelings were pouring out with ease.
“It even gets so weird between me and Chester that my wife questions my sexuality.” He laughed amused waiting for others to appreciate the joke. But no one did. Jared saw Chester close his eyes and inhale deeply.
So, that’s what it was. Right. A stupid misunderstanding.
Chester still sat frozen to the spot unmoving. His eyes were closed. He felt like there was a huge bag of emotions in his hands – you don’t know what may come out if you leave it unwatched and it’ll come untied. He carefully stood up lifting this imaginary bag, afraid it might spill.
“I need to use the toilet.” He said emotionless and left with a steady pace, eyes fixed on something invisible in front of him.
Chester didn’t remember how he got to the toilet. Did something carry him?
Clutched by the nerves he almost threw up in the toilet, tears in his eyes from the effort to hold it back. He made a bitter laugh at the thought – “we are together”. He felt like he was transferred into some alternative timeline where he and Mike were together. He heard Mike say all those nice and loving things about them. Chester was allowed to taste that life.
Was it real? No. Was it was more real than if he was dreaming of it at night? He really touched it and smelled it. He lived in that skin these several minutes. It was unforgettable. He has never allowed himself to imagine HOW it may feel. Be. Together. With. Mike.
Jared understood. He looked with pained expression at Chester’s back. But he didn’t want to say it out loud. It was obvious Mike didn’t get it, did he? And it was useless to explain something to a person who doesn’t see it himself, for as they say, “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”.
***
Mike didn’t turn around to look at Chester walking away. He felt him go. He didn’t expect it. He really thought Chester would play along. But… what happened?
***
They were walking to the stage. It was a long way along the endless corridors of the arena. Mike decided he would do it. He would never lose his soul mate over … anything.
He took Chester by the hand and continued walking like nothing odd happened. Chester jerked in surprise. He looked at their intertwined fingers then at Mike silently questioning him. Mike only smiled reassuringly and whispered:
“It wasn’t a prank. It’s just something made me speak that day and I couldn’t stop. I just had to make Jared think I was fooling around with that last line.”
He jerked his head back and gasped from the shake-up. He felt his falling down into that comfortable skin he tried on only once for a short time. The alternative path was chosen. He had never imagined it was still there waiting for him at the corner.