Chapter Text
I’ve got a feeling deep inside
And it’s taking, it’s taking all I’ve got
Luke Hemmings is tired of waking up with a cold sweat against burning skin. He’s tired of not being able to sleep afterwards.
He’s tired because the source is one recurring dream, and before he didn’t really care about it. He always thought it was his brain being reminiscent. But now it makes him wake up with prickly hot skin that’s sensitive to touch, and as much as he hates to say it the dream makes him feel like he’s wading through a nightmare.
Every single time he’s in it he wants to wake up, and it probably makes him heartless, a bad friend, but he can’t take being reminded of his loneliness. He lets his tense body fall back against the sheets and tries to even his breathing, tries but fails not to think about what woke him up in the first place.
Calum, Michael and Luke are sitting in Michael’s room. The aim was to watch a film but it’s long since been abandoned in favour of Luke playing guitar, and Michael and Calum play fighting again. And what is up with that, because Luke can’t get his head around why the two boys cannot keep their hands to themselves lately. They’ve always been touchy, and Calum is definitely the cuddly type but even Luke’s noticed that something odd is up.
Michael pulls out of Calum’s soft chokehold, his smile gentle and gets up towards the door. “Do you want a beer Cal?”
“Yes please!”
“Hey, can what about me?” Luke pouts, because can they leave him out anymore? He’s in the same room.
“You’re only 15 Luke.”
“Cal’s only just turned 16!”
“Old enough for a beer then.”
“Fuck off.” Luke’s already sick of this age discrimination game they’ve got going and it’s only been two weeks.
“You can have a bit of mine,” Calum offers as a compromise, and Luke’s still not happy but it’ll do.
They don’t even drink the beer, Luke whines inwardly, leaving the bottles more than half full as they start a tickling match and what the hell?
“Can you guys not touch each other for two seconds?”
“I don’t know, can we?” Calum teases and like, they’re not even denying it.
“Luke’s just jealous.” Michael almost whispers to Calum, who turns to look at the blonde fringed boy.
“Jealous?” Both Luke and Calum reply, and Michael goes red to the tips of his ears like he didn’t know he said it. Luke is more scandalised while Calum is more questioning, and Luke holds his breath because something in the air has definitely changed.
“What do you mean jealous?” Calum repeats, and Luke thinks Michael’s head is two seconds from imploding because his blush is furious.
“I don’t know? I don’t know.”
“Yeah, you do.” And Calum’s never been one for beating around the bush, always likes things plain, and Luke knows Michael can't outtalk his way from this one.
“Like, jealous. That you’re mine? I don’t know, I’ve always seen you as mine Cal.”
“I’m yours?” And Calum says it like he’s testing it on his tongue.
“Yeah, always. No one else’s.” And Luke definitely sees Calum mouth ‘yours’ at Michael before tentatively kissing him, and it’s not the first time he’s seen this. Sometimes when Michael is sad or Calum’s had a bad day a football practice, they kiss, for comfort and familiarity, and Luke’s never allowed himself to think much of it.
It’s definitely the first time he’s seen their kiss mean something else, and Luke not only feels the tension break but something like his heart. He doesn’t really know why.
Luke is tired of his brain taking him back to the moment Michael and Calum and Luke became MichaelCalum and Luke, the moment the two boys realised they were soulmates. Most of the time he dreams of that moment. More rarely he dreams of weeks later when Calum and Michael came over at 8am to show him their imprint, and sometimes it’s the promise rings.
Luke was, is and always will be happy for them; his best friends since infancy are together, and he never has to worry about their happiness. But he still can’t help sometimes wishing he wasn’t there to see it happen because it makes him feel so alone.
Especially since he turned 18, Luke has become very aware of himself and others. He has to watch everyone he knows with their soulmates. His parents, his brothers, Michael and Calum, his friends from school. He even sees co-workers at the coffee shop come in one morning and leave the same evening with a soulmate. He’ll throw up if he sees another ink engraved imprint as he hands a customer their coffee cup.
Luke only wants to belong to someone, and he’s so overwhelmed by it.
The decision is made by Luke that he’s going to get out of Sydney for a bit (what Michael and Calum will definitely call the easy way out). Luke’s going to run away from his problems because it’s all he knows how to do.