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Clouds loom across the skies above as I sit on the familiar wooden material below. I unpack my lunch, and think about how I will stop bothering with such a progressive formality as the year passes. I'm slowly becoming readjusted to the typical loudness and uncertainty of the school year. Kids yelling, handballs flying; everybody seems to be back into the grind. But how? I miss the serenity of long walks, the excitement of weekday train adventures, and the ominicisty of late night shopping trips. All the time in the world to spend with him. Speaking of which, where is he? I glance at my phone, it's been five minutes. Unusual. Armin and I have been placed into a lot of different classes this year, him being in all the top classes and all. I wish I could breeze through school like he can, I barely even passed maths last year. I laugh to myself, but slowly the awkwardness sets in. My lunchbox has been out for so long, I was waiting for Armin, but it feels weird to eat without him. I repack my bag. Maybe he went to the bathroom? Surely he wouldn't be taking this long though... Maybe he's at the canteen? I pull out my phone, no new texts. Yep, probably just grabbing some food. Armin can be really forgetful sometimes, this is already the second time he's had to go to the canteen this year! I laugh lightly. Though, I have to admit, it does feel strange to be sitting alone like this.
My nerves grow as the bell rings. Armin never came? That's not like him at all. I head to my art class. Surely Armin will be there, right? But why did he ditch me? I walk into the room and sit down at my usual table, where Mikasa's already unpacking her brush set. Where's Armin..?
"Mikas-" I am swiftly cut off.
"I don't know, Eren." She replies, without returning my glance.
"I didn't even say anything yet!" She meets my eyes, her peaceful expression moving against her words.
"No, Eren, I haven't seen Armin." I pout slightly. I notice the teacher direct his eyes at me, to which I quickly pull out my art book. I haphazardly mess around with a hard graphite pencil on a new page. "You look so dull." Mikasa smiles in amusement. I just exhale. "Something happen between you and Armin?" She asks.
"No-" That hadn't crossed my mind, actually. Did I upset him somehow during third period? Am I being ignorant about something? Have I said anything mean to him?
"Eren." I look back up at my sister. "I'm sure he's fine, just a little unusual is all. Surely he's not in detention, right?" She laughs at herself. The thought of detention, Armin? It is pretty laughable. I don't think Armin's ever even been late to class before, well I guess, until now?
Suddenly, the blonde boy stumbles into the classroom. He apologetically converses with Sir, handing over a mysterious green slip. Sir makes some dismissive movements towards him, to which Armin heads over to our desk, unpacking quickly.
"Hey." Armin smiles, sitting next to me.
" Hey ?! Where have you been?!" I ask, maybe with a bit more concern than I intended. Armin laughs at my gesture, to which I frown slightly. "I had sit alone all lunch time!" I add.
"Oh no, a whole half an hour! Don't you have any other friends?" Mikasa mocks me.
"Shut up, Mikasa!" I say, half-jokingly. My eyes return to Armin's crystal blue ones, the colour pleasantly reflecting the painting he's working on. He smiles once more.
"There's this new girl in my science class!"
"Oh?" Mikasa responds.
"Her name's Annie, she's really nice."
" And ?! What has th-"
"Shut up, Eren!" Mikasa smirks evilly.
"Well, Eren , she needed some help with timetabling and things, so I offered to show her to the office so she could get help."
"And that took all of lunch?!"
"God, Eren, you're so possessive." I glare at Mikasa.
"Well the office ladies told us to go to the library because the timetabling administrator's office is there. Walking around, explaining, printing things and what-not, it took a long time." I exhale, almost relieved somehow. The teacher whacks his hand down on our desk.
"Are we talking while we work, guys?" Armin apologises flusteredly, causing both of us to quickly continue on with our work. Before long, school ends, and Mikasa and I are left to depart ways with Armin.
I wake up to a not-so bright new day, somehow even cloudier than yesterday. I am greeted with the strange aroma of my first period history class. I feel pretty off, having skipped breakfast in exhaustion. Well, at least I don't have to worry about Armin today. I take my usual seat next to him. We exchange our usual morning chit-chat while we wait for class to start. Suddenly, an unfamiliar face shys her way into our classroom. I watch as she incoherently mumbles at the teacher. Armin becomes distracted.
"Annie? You're in top history?" She nods back at him awkwardly. "Oh! Well, you can come sit with us!" Armin pats the surface of the free desk to his right. She thanks him courteously and quietly takes her seat. "Oh!" Armin exclaims, to which he leans back in his chair and uses his hand to gesture towards me. "This is my friend, Eren." Annie and I greet one another, but otherwise don't exchange much conversation. She's a quiet one I guess. Reminds me of Armin.
The lesson eventually starts and I can't help but get lost in Armin's work. His handwriting is loose, yet elegant, and watching him note-take is so oddly satisfying. Armin and Annie are still talking with one another, but eventually he notices me getting distracted. He pushes me lightly.
"Eren, do your own work." He giggles, before continuing. "You'll fall behind."
"Sorry, just zoned out I guess."
"Did you skip breakfast again?" I just stare at him, trying my hardest not to smile before giving in. " Eren !" He whines.
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Shut up." He giggles again. It's always such a pleasant and soothing laugh. "No use copying my work anyway Eren, my handwriting's a total mess." I smile to myself. Eventually though, Armin and Annie return to their respective small talk, leaving me lonely.
Recess finally arrives and this time Armin hasn't ditched me. We sit at the usual benches together. We're chatting happily, as always. Armin pulls a small container of varying fruits out of his bag, which he shares with me. I guess this is what we usually do. We've always been big on fruit.
"Wanna hangout after school today?" I ask, hopefully.
" Eren !" He whines. "I have homework."
"It’s week two , Armin! WEEK TWO ! Nobody has assignments due in WEEK TWO !" I repeat.
"Alright, I get it, but I don't want to fall behind."
"Armin you're the smartest smart guy ever, you won't fall behind." He blushes.
"Eren we hang out all the time." He mumbles.
"Do you not love me anymore?" I fake pout, causing him to sigh.
"Alright, fine, deal." I smile at him.
Suddenly, a newly familiar girl appears.
"Hey, Armin, sorry to interrupt-" Armin's name rolls off her tongue strangely.
"Hey Annie! What's up?" Armin greets the new girl enthusiastically.
"Well I was just wondering where your school's canteen was, I accidentally forgot to pack my lunch this morning." She asks in her low, monotonal voice.
"Oh, it’s by the hall, but you can have some of mine if you like." Armin offers, insisting he has had enough to eat already. Annie politely refuses, but Armin is very caring in an almost criminal way, and he practically forces her to take his sandwich. She's very thankful towards him, nonetheless. To my slight dismay, Armin also offers to let Annie sit with us. She does, so I'm kind if left out again. It’s not like I don't like Annie, I just... it’s always been Armin and I. I guess I'm not used to new people.
At the end of lunch I see Armin and Annie walking out of class together, I suppose they had science last period. We meet at the benches again, and Annie makes fast eye-contact with me.
"Well, I should be off now, Armin."
" Aww , what?" He responds.
"I don't want to interrupt you and Eren yet again."
"You're not-"
"Armin. I have to go to the canteen anyway." She smiles at him, so strangely. I haven't seen her smile before, she seemed so shy and introverted a couple days ago. I guess she and Armin have gotten close over these past few days.
"Alright..." Armin pouts, so sincerely. She smiles at him once more. They then exchange goodbyes with one another, leaving Armin looking disappointed. He takes a seat next to me.
"You're getting close to Annie, huh?"
"I guess… I don't really have any friends so I guess I've gotten attached to her pretty fast." I gasp dramatically.
"I'm right here!" I joke.
"We're not friends, we're like…" I raise an eyebrow at him. "I don't know… Weird twins separated at birth, or strange destined soulmates." He laughs.
"I didn't know you ever believed in any of this destiny crap." I nudge his shoulder. We both laugh again.
"I don't know, Eren. I just like Annie, that's all. Besides, I need someone new to hangout with while we're in different classes." He pushes me, playfully.
"Whatever." I groan slightly, to which he smiles.
Eventually the bell rings and we have to part ways again.
"Meet you outside art block?" Armin smiles. Oh yeah, I forgot we were hanging out today.
"Sounds good." I return the gesture excitedly.
At long last I finally get to spend time with Armin in private, without any new people around. Well, I guess mostly in private. Mikasa might hang around us for a while. When we arrive at home, we basically instantly head upstairs after a small exchange with my mum. Armin's been over so many times that it’s nothing new. Once we get to my room I just flop down onto my bed, where Armin sits beside me. I pull him down so that he lies next to me, him giggling all the while.
"Oh, I've missed this." I smile.
"Eren, it’s been like a fortnight since the holidays."
"One too many fortnights." I jest. He smiles lowly at me. We spend hours doing the usual. Talking, gaming, drawing, singing, and eventually having dinner with Mikasa and my parents.
Time passes much sooner than I would've liked. At around seven o'clock Armin decides he should head home. The closer we get to the front door, the more desperate I am to make him stay.
"Goodbye Eren." He smiles ever so sweetly. "I'll see you tomorrow." His face illuminates under the stars, highlighting his most gorgeous features.
"Do you have to leave?" I groan.
"We have school tomorrow!" The shorter exclaims. Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting. I try to think of my way around the situation, but I'm unable. As Armin turns his back to me, I call out to him by force of habit.
"Armin!" He turns to me, his ocean blue eyes glistening under the starlight. I stutter. "At least let me walk you home!" I spit out, almost helplessly.
"Eren! You don't need to do that." He mumbles, slightly flustered.
" Please ." Wow. I must seem desperate. Armin directs his eyes slightly, signifying me to join him at his side. I excitedly race down the stairs of my porch, softly patting his back as I slow down beside him. We head off together for the short walk towards his house. We spend the time chatting, but I'm mostly distracted. The way Armin's golden blonde hair shines beneath the stars, the small amount of freckles plastered across his nose, the low, yet elegant hum of his sweet voice, the way he graciously walks; it’s mesmerising.
To much of my dismay we eventually are met by Armin's front door.
"I really have to go now, Eren." Armin smiles beautifully, tilting his head sideways ever so slightly. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right. Such a bittersweet moment.
"Okay." I respond, lowly. He steps towards me, and reaching closely, puts his arms around my neck. I quickly, but gently, wrap my arms around him, too. I rub my hands up and down his back softly. One of his hands strokes my head, brushing through my hair, which is starting to grow long. The softness of his breath on my upper shoulder, the warmth of his company; this is what I miss about the holidays. Perfection. Serenity. Hope. That hope is lost slightly as Armin eventually releases his grasp, lowering himself down back off of his tippy-toes. I'm met with such a strong feeling of melancholy.
"Goodnight, Eren." His beautiful voice encases my mind. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"'Night, Armin." I smile at him sweetly. Once again, I find myself disappointedly leaving his side as he enters his house. I walk home slowly, pondering the day beneath the stars.
I wake up for yet another day of school. On my way walking, it’s cold outside. Cloudy too, like it has been all week thus far. Hopefully it doesn't rain. Mikasa scrolls through her phone.
"We got any of the same subjects today?" I ask her. She looks towards the sky with a thoughtful expression.
"Umm… I think we have music and sport later?" She questions with uncertainty. "Maybe you should be more aware of your own timetable, Eren."
"Okay hypocrite, like you even know your timetable." I reply sarcastically. She laughs. If she's right then I guess I won't be seeing Armin much today either.
Eventually I get to my period one class and I have a realisation.
" Crap ! I forgot my laptop!" I groan to myself. I guess I'll be having detention at recess. I text Armin to let him know. He doesn't reply though, he wouldn't dare touch his phone in class. At least Mikasa was right about music though, so I'll get to see her and Armin then at least.
The day feels like a breeze being alone for so long. After two long periods of class and one boring detention, I arrive at music third period. Armin makes a face at me.
"How was detention, Eren!" He sticks his tongue out, causing Mikasa to laugh.
"Alright, I get it, goody-two-shoes." I groan. "Why are you so pleased anyway? Don't you get all anxious when you're alone during break?" He blushes brightly, I'm guessing due to Mikasa's presence.
" What ?! No ..!" Mikasa and I chuckle at his response. "Besides, I hung out with Annie anyway." Again? Armin's only just met the girl and they've grown so close. Soon the teacher instructs us to work on our practical task. We all mess around while we tune our instruments. Mikasa discusses some of her friend group's gossip with us. Armin seems interested, but I honestly don't care that much. Once my guitar is tuned I start practicing the chord progression for the song we're studying. It's not long until Mikasa has to lecture me though.
"No, no, no ! You're strumming it all wrong , are you even playing the right chords?" She yells. While she's focused on my guitar, I silently imitate her while looking at Armin. My weird face makes him laugh. I've learned to enjoy little moments like these, just the three of us.
Before long we're all playing together, but we sound pretty bad over the rest of the classes' practice too. When the class starts to pack up later on, I head over to Armin. He struggles to put the instruments back up on the wall, so I tend to go help him.
"Hey shorty." I greet him, lifting the school's ukulele from his hands and up onto its place on the wall. Armin just frowns at me. "What?" I ask, fully knowing what he's going to say.
" I'm not short !" We both yell in sync, Armin with sincerity and me imitating him. He laughs, punching my chest playfully, "Shut up…" He laughs again, trailing off into his thoughts.
" Hey… " I boop his nose playfully. "I'm sure you'll get taller soon." I smile at him but he still frowns slightly.
"I know… I just-"
"Well for what it’s worth," I cut off Armin's probable self-deprecation, "I think you're handsome either way." I wink at him, causing him to laugh.
"Shut up, Eren." He blushes. Knowing him he's probably thinking 'you don't mean that'. What does he know? The bell rings loudly.
"See you at the canteen? My treat." I offer. He smiles at me, affirming my intuition.
Lunch finally arrives after another long period, and I'm greeted by Armin already standing in the long canteen line.
"So, what do you want?" I ask.
"Hmm." He ponders to himself. "Maybe a fruit salad?" I laugh.
"You're so basic, Armin."
"Okay cheeseburger fan." He mocks me. We stand around for a bit silently, waiting for the line to pass. I notice Armin making a strange expression.
"What's up?" I ask.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just a bit cold." I notice the goosebumps on his arms.
"You can have my jacket if you like." I offer.
"No, it's alright, don't worry about it." He responds. I start taking my jacket off.
"No really, I just had sport, so I'm kind of hot anyway." I hold my school jacket out to him, insistently.
" Eww ." He laughs.
"Come on, I know you want my sweat jacket." I joke. He takes it from my hand and starts putting it on as the line moves forward.
"Yeah. I know I do too." He smiles prettily, I'm happy he obliged. I stroke a hand through my hair.
"What happened to your jacket anyway, Armin?"
"I guess I lost it over the holidays, I haven't been able to find it this year." I watch him twiddle his fingers, his colourful bracelets rattling slightly at his wrists.
"Oh, well you can keep that one for a bit. I have a spare at home anyway." He smiles at me once more.
We order our food and head out to our usual sitting area. As we walk I can't help but fixate my attention to Armin. My jacket looks so good on him. A bit oversized, but I think he's pretty like this. We finally sit down to eat, when suddenly Annie walks over. She chats to him briefly about their supposedly shared fifth period class, sounds like they had homework. Armin is so engaged with Annie's conversation that he smiles and giggles constantly. Annie seems equally happy to converse with the smaller one. Right before leaving, Annie compliments how Armin looks wearing a jacket, leading him to blush and thank her profusely. It makes me feel so strange. Seeing Armin so happy with a compliment from someone else, let alone a girl, is so strange to me. Wearing my jacket too. I hate to admit it, but I don't like it.
Fortunately for me, on Thursday week Bs, I have every single period timetabled with Armin. For the first time, I wake up with enthusiasm. Alas, that enthusiasm is quickly shut out when I arrive at school. My history teacher assigned us a presentation to be done with a partner, but we were paired by seating arrangements. I groan at the realisation that Armin and Annie were paired together. I have to work alone because the kid who usually sits next to me is away. I spend most of the double period typing to myself silently, listening to Armin and Annie chat away about both their work and other topics. Armin tries to include me in conversation every now and again, but I'm reluctant to talk with Annie somehow. When recess arrives, Armin and Annie are still keen on working on their project.
"Eren, we're going to head to the library to finish our work." Armin informs me.
" Armin ," I whine, "it's recess!"
"Me and Annie are nearly done with our presentation though, so we thought we could get it done now."
"That way we won't have to do it as homework." Annie adds in her bleak voice.
"Alright, I guess." I start heading off.
"You aren't coming with us?" Armin asks.
"Nah, I'm just gonna go to the canteen or something. See you next period, Armin." I say, walking off.
Great, I've been left alone again. Maybe this is going to be part of my new year's routine. I sigh helplessly. I decide to go find Mikasa for the break. She and her friends sit around the back of the oval, under some trees.
"Hey, Mikasa." I walk up to the group casually. She turns to me and groans.
"What do you want, Eren!" I exhale.
"Armin ditched me for Annie again ." I grunt. Mikasa rolls her eyes at me, but our quarrel is interrupted by a blonde friend of ours.
"Hey, Eren!" She calls out to me with a smile.
"Hi, Krista." I say, taking a seat next to her and Ymir under the tree. Mikasa sits back down next to me, reluctantly. I'm surprised she's been hanging out with the same people for so long. I've been friends with these guys since the start of high school too, I guess, but me and Armin broke away from the rest of them at some point.
"You know, Eren, you can hang out with us any time you want." She beams.
"Thanks Krista, but I don't think Mikasa would be too happy about that." We laugh at one another. Eventually the rest of Mikasa's friends show up, returning from their trip to the canteen. Sasha quickly gasps.
"Hi, Eren! I haven't seen you in so long!" She quickly joins the circle, Marco, Jean, and Connie following behind her. It’s so nostalgic.
"What are you doing here?" The ugly one asks.
"Hi, horse face." I giggle to myself. Maybe this is the serenity I miss. That thought is quickly washed out as I'm reminded of Armin.
"So, what brings you back to us, Eren?" Connie asks.
"Fight with Armin?" Sasha suggests.
"Not really…" I ponder. "He's been hanging out with this new girl a lot."
"Ohh, you mean Annie? She's in my maths class." Ymir responds, an arm around Krista.
"Yeah that's right."
"Why don't you hang out with both of them then?" Krista asks.
"I think Eren's jealous ." Mikasa smirks. I'm a bit lost for words.
"I don't know, I just don't really get along with them well. Armin and Annie have gotten so close almost instantly, and I just feel kind of left out." I frown to myself.
"Maybe Armin likes Annie?" Marco suggests.
"Well, I mean, that's obvious." I say, to which Mikasa flicks me in the face.
"No, you idiot! He means Armin might like her." I'm hit in the face by this realisation, much like Mikasa's finger did. Why did I not notice before?
"Nahh, there's no way Armin likes Annie ." Ymir speculates. "Armin's smart, and he's barely met the girl." My heart sinks.
"You can't deny it’s possible though. I don't think Armin's ever liked anyone before." I frown deeply, causing Mikasa to laugh extremely hard.
"Mikasa! Be more sympathetic to your brother!" Krista yells in her high pitched voice.
"No, it's not that Krista-- don't worry about it." Mikasa replies, still laughing to herself.
"Why would you care so much anyway though, Eren?" Connie asks. "Jean's obviously simping for Marco 24/7, but I still hang out with him just as normal." Jean is left a blushing, stuttering mess, while Marco chuckles at him.
"Like I said, he's jealous." Mikasa says, after regaining her composure.
"Maybe you like Armin, Eren." Krista suggests.
" What ?!" I exclaim.
"Haha, Eren's got a boyfriend!" Jean yells hysterically, causing Sasha to roll her eyes.
"I don't like Armin, okay guys?!" I reiterate.
"Yeah, no, Eren, we get it. You just think Armin is really hot, hang out with him on a constant basis, and get jealous that he's spending time with a girl, all for nonspecific platonic reasons." Ymir points out, making me blush out of embarrassment. Krista whacks her angrily. The bell rings, and I flip off the group as I stand up.
"Screw you guys!" I yell while laughing as I run off to music class, Mikasa trailing along behind me.
We enter the class, and as per usual, get into our prac work. Armin walks in behind us.
"Hey guys!" He exclaims in his cheery voice. For some reason, I feel sick. I can't bare to look at him at the moment. Mikasa greets Armin in response, but I just kind of smile at him. While Armin converses with Mikasa, I head over to grab a guitar off the wall. In the midst of the moment though, I notice Ymir and Krista playing a song together. Ymir plays bass while Krista plays the keyboard, and their singing is so mesmerising that I can't help but stare.
"Hey, freak! What are you doing looking at my Krista?!" Ymir stomps over to me angrily, cutting off their practice.
"Sorry, Ymir. I just wanted to say that you two sound really good." I smile, causing Ymir to become slightly less agitated.
"Thank you, Eren!" Krista sweetly accepts my compliment. She approaches Ymir and I. "So, what are you working on? I'd love to hear your group playing too."
"Well, Mikasa, Armin, and I were supposed to be playing a song, but we haven't gotten very far. Mikasa's been all nit-picky about my strumming." I laugh.
"Aww, that's too bad." She moans. "Once you've made some progress we'd be happy to give you feedback!" She replies with sincerity.
"Like that'll happen." Ymir states, causing Krista to look at her in confusion. "Well, how's Eren supposed to make progress if he's avoiding Armin?"
"I'm not avoiding him!" They both look at me with identical flat faces. It almost feels like these girls have got something against me.
"Ohh! Maybe we can help out your group today!" Krista suggests with excitement.
"No, Krista, we have our own thing to do. Besides, we'd probably be a distraction." Ymir eyes me.
"I wouldn't mind."
"Come on, Ymir! We're already far ahead anyway!" Krista clings to her arm making puppy eyes. Ymir exhales loudly. The three of us head back over to Mikasa and Armin.
"Oh, hello!" Armin says, directed at the girls. They both greet him in response. Eventually my group gets their stuff organised. We start playing a wreck of a song. Ymir's expression makes this clear, but Krista's much more constructive.
"Why are you all playing string instruments? Maybe either Eren or Armin should play something else for some variety, since your instruments are the most similar. That might be an improvement!"
"I'll do it." Says Mikasa.
"But-" Mikasa cuts off Krista.
"You can't give them a decision like that. They'll fight." Krista laughs awkwardly. The girls all leave to try find an alternative instrument for Mikasa to play, leaving Armin and I alone.
"So, what'd you do at recess." I'm hesitant to respond.
"Well, I hung out with Mikasa and our friends."
"Ohh, sounds fun! Maybe we should introduce Annie to them." I frown slightly. Maybe Armin really does like Annie. We spend the rest of the period trying to improve our song, but encased in my own thoughts, I slowly start to feel kind of distant to the world.
Finally we have art. The day seems to drag on forever. Once we get to class I sit in the empty spot usually next to Mikasa and put my earphones in. I waste no time getting to work. I just want the day to finish. Mikasa sits beside me.
"Eren." She puts a hand on my shoulder and frowns. I don't react to her gesture. I just keep scribbling down the page. She rubs my back lightly. "Maybe you should take a break." I turn my head in her direction, puzzled. She thinks. "You could ask to go to the bathroom to be alone for a while?" That's actually not a bad idea. I lean closer to her, to which she hugs me lightly. "Just put those earphones away before you get caught." I do just as she says, making my leave before Armin is even sat down from collecting painting supplies.
I head to the bathroom and take a seat in one of the stalls. I sit and think to myself. There's not much to think about, really. I'm upset. Why? Because of Armin. What did he do? Become friends with Annie. Why do Armin and Annie upset me? I feel like I'm losing my friend. Am I losing Armin's friendship? No. Then why am I so upset ?! Why the hell should I care if Armin has a crush on some girl anyway?! I keep thinking so much that I get a headache. I focus on my thoughts, my breathing, my blinking. I'm confused, upset, angry… everything . Everything over nothing? Something must be wrong with me! I grab my head and pull at my hair. My posture lowers, causing my head to face the ground. What should I do? I don't know. I panic as I realise how long it’s been, and I race back to class. I'm going to power through the period, and everything will be fine.
"I'm going to spend lunch with Annie, too." Armin off-handedly mentions.
"Still working on that assignment?" Mikasa asks.
"Nope, just want to keep spending time with her. She's really cool." He smiles. Maybe everything isn't fine. Why do I care anyway? I lay my head down on my art book, earphones still in. Mikasa places a hand in my hair. "Eren..?" Armin asks.
"He's just feeling sick." Mikasa replies for me. Thank god.
As planned, Armin leaves for Annie at the sound of the bell. Mikasa practically drags me by hand out to the oval, but not to her friends. She sits me down in an isolated area, right at the back of the oval. I lean my head on her shoulder.
"What's going on Eren?" She asks, softly. I don't know how to respond. I focus on the smooth texture of the grass, and the green washed trees. The peacefulness of the sky. The lack of other people. The birds chirping from the trees nearby. The serenity. "Do you like Armin?" She asks in an attempt to follow up.
"No, I don't, because he doesn't care about me!" I accidentally blurt out, and dig my head further into her shoulder. She embraces me almost automatically. My throat begins to swell, and my breath hitches. My shoulders move in an uncomfortable rhythm as Mikasa rubs my back soothingly.
"You know that's not true, Eren." I can barely respond to her through tears. "What about Annie bothers you so much?"
"Nothing." I inhale desperately. "But it’s supposed to be just me and Armin!" I exhale, sobbing uncontrollably.
"You should talk to him about it then." She looks into my eyes. "He loves you, you know. If he saw how upset you were about this, I'm sure he'd make a compromise." Mikasa's right, of course she's right. She wipes my tears slowly, but I keep crying, nonetheless.
"I just don't want to lose him…" A few more tears spill from my eyes.
"I know, Eren. I get it. You don't like change. It would be hard for anyone to feel like they're losing a childhood friend like this." Yeah, that's right. I try to regain composure, while Mikasa smiles at me softly. She quickly hugs me once more.
"It'll be alright, Eren," She continues, "I promise."
I head to last period. It's all planned out. I'll talk to Armin, and it'll all be okay. Easier said than done. We sit together at the back of the classroom, but I find myself all choked up.
"Health class…" Armin groans. I'm still unable to respond. "Still feeling sick, Eren?" I nod. There's a short pause. "You don't actually think I'm that stupid, do you?" My expression slips. He tilts his head sideways, seeking my response.
"I just don't feel very good today." I look down, holding back my overwhelming thoughts. Armin sighs.
"Do you want me to come over after school?" He asks, trying to facilitate for me. I nod slowly. He smiles back, creating a sense of affirmation. We spend most of the rest of the period in silence, as well as the walk home.
Upon arrival at my house, we commence our normal routine of heading straight upstairs. Mikasa went out with some friends so it’s just Armin and I. It increases the tension. I lie down on my bed, face first. Armin pushes the door closed behind us, and opens my bedroom window to reveal the dark clouds sprayed across the sky. He leans back down over my figure and sits himself next to me.
"Eren." I groan, but he starts to rub my back softly. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I don't want to." My voice is muffled as my head is buried into my blankets.
"Come on, Eren." I can tell by his voice that he's smiling. I'm trying so desperately not to cry again. It was already embarrassing enough crying in front of Mikasa earlier. I sit up slowly and face him, but I don't make eye contact.
"You've been spending less time with me…" I mumble.
"What do you mean?" Oh my god, Armin.
"You've been spending a lot of time with Annie." I reiterate.
"...And?" He asks.
"I just..." I frown. "It’s stupid."
"Eren." Armin leans down in a way that he can look up to his eyes. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" A few tears slip from my eyes, causing me to cover my face on command. "Oh, Eren." He says, holding me in his arms. I refuse to cry any longer. My throat swells as I hold back sobs. Armin slowly rocks me back and forth, in his warm, comforting arms.
"I feel like I'm losing you." I spit out. Armin is quick to push me back out from his gentle hold.
" What ?" My eyes widen.
"You don't spend all your time with me anymore." I reply with uncertainty.
"Do I have to?!" He says, angrily.
"No, I just--"
"I'm allowed to have other friends Eren, you have other friends!"
"That's not--" I stutter, "But, it’s always just been us, Armin!" Armin stands up.
"So I'm not allowed to have other friends?!" My eyes are soaked at this point. Armin's watery blue eyes drop a few glistening tears as well.
"Why are you doing this to me, Armin?! Do you like Annie?!" I ask, helplessly.
"So what if I do?!" He yells in anger. " That's what all this crap is about?! Literally nothing ?! You're so selfish, Eren!" Armin stands, and grabbing his bag, leaves in an instant, slamming my door behind him. The dark clouds are now storming outside. The rain pours nearly as heavily as my own tears as I slam the window closed and bury myself beneath my blanket. Armin and I have never fought, not like this ! I spend the rest of the night sobbing relentlessly, I can't help but give in to my overwhelming destructive thoughts.
I couldn't bring myself to go to school the next day. When she got home, Mikasa informed me that Armin didn't show up either. What the hell is wrong with me ?! Armin's right, I am selfish. But I should have the right to be upset over this? Aren't we both in the wrong? Maybe Armin is a little selfish too. I spend all weekend moping around and sleeping. I think about Armin. I think about Annie. Maybe she's the selfish one. I feel as if I don't know anything anymore.
The second fortnight of school passes in the blink of an eye. Armin and I avoid each other completely. We've never fought like this, so I suppose it makes sense. I wonder what he's thinking. He spends all his time with Annie. I sit by myself. I texted him a "hello" a few times, but I was always left on read, so I stopped bothering. I wonder if he told Annie about us. I wonder if she blames herself. I wonder if she even cares. Maybe Armin's happier without my presence constraining his every move. As I sit alone, I avoid everyone. Even in class, I sit away from Armin, even if it means I have to sit with some random people I don't know. The year's just started and I already want to go back in time; it hurts. Armin and Mikasa have grown closer too. For once I feel as if Mikasa doesn't like me either. Maybe she's avoiding me too. Mikasa even spends time with Armin and Annie. She goes to Armin's house a lot after school. I guess he never wants to come here because of me. Not until now, at least.
Armin and Mikasa arrive home after spending a day out. Knowing them, they did something weird and artsy. I stayed at home all day, obviously, thinking about Armin. Wishing I never confronted him. Wishing I didn't care about Annie. Wishing he missed me too. I hear them chatting as they walk up the stairs and into Mikasa's room. Her room is next to mine, so I can hear his voice faintly. He sounds more dreary than he used to. It’s probably the sound insulation between our walls. I can't help but become desperate, being so close by but so far apart. I tip-toe to my wall, and sit with my ear against it. A breach of privacy maybe, but I can't help myself. It's been so long since I've heard his voice. I can't hear much of Mikasa, her voice so low and emotionless. I can hear Armin though. Some of it, I think.
"The other day Annie was talking to me…" Of course. Of course she was. Of course that's what you're talking about. Like I could care. After hearing Mikasa's monotonal hum, I go to stand up and leave, but I hear Armin continue: "she asked me out." I hate to hear it, but this I've gotta know about. My heart pounds as I wait for him to continue. The sense of his words so obstructed by the lack of Mikasa's input. "I just don't know." He pauses, sounding uncomfortable. "I said yes in a little panic, but I don't think I like her like that. " Mikasa's void makes her way in to the conversation. "I don't know what to do. If I break up with her, she'll be upset at me, but if I stay with her, she'll be even more upset that I led her on." The last thing I hear before I stand up stings. "I just don't don't want to lose the only friend I have left."
I need to see Armin. I don't care that he's probably still upset at me. I just need him to know I'm still here. But how ? He won't let me talk to him, so what can I do? Then it hits me. I knock on Mikasa's door with as much obnoxiousity as possible
" Mikasa !" I call out dramatically. She opens the door and looks at me dead in the eyes. "Mum wants us to do the dishes." I say without thinking, trying to come up with an excuse for my meaningless distraction.
" Eren !" She whines. "I'm hanging out with Armin right now, can't you do it?!"
"I've done them all week, Mikasa! ALL WEEK ." I yell. "That's so unfair." She groans with immense displeasure.
"Can't I do them later?!" She whines. I give her a blank stare. "Fine." She pushes me out of the way. "I'll do them really fast, but when I come back my room better be clean, or you're getting it!"
" What ! How is that a fair trade?" She laughs mischievously as she skips her way down the stairs. Well, I guess I got what I wanted. I should probably clean her room though, before I get bashed.
I walk in hesitantly. Armin is sitting on her bed, sketching in his little artbook. We make eye contact briefly, and I roll my eyes.
"Sorry, Armin. You heard the boss." He giggles slightly and stands up, moving into Mikasa's desk chair so I can make her bed. I start awkwardly throwing all her pillows and blankets on the floor. I can tell Armin's watching me, despite acting like he's not. I start fixing up the sheets. "So, how have you been?" I say, trying to flatten the uncomfortable aura. Armin swivels in his chair to face me more.
"That's a dumb question." He says, folding his arms. I chuckle slightly.
"Sorry."
"You look like shit, Eren."
" Armin !" I gasp. "I haven't heard you swear in so long." He pauses.
"I'm a changed man, Eren." We both laugh at his comment. I finish making Mikasa's bed, and I fluff up her pillows.
"You can move back here if you want." I stand and start tossing the clothes from her floor into her washing basket. "I can't believe Mikasa would leave such a mess with guests over." I say ironically. "Eww!" I yell, as I fling one of Mikasa's bras from her floor into her basket. Armin giggles like a little kid. "Wow, Armin, so immature." I tisk.
"Shut up, Eren." I smile. It feels so good to be talking to Armin again. It feels so weird to enjoy this awkward banter so much. I lean over to the desk Armin's sitting at and start replacing Mikasa's pens in her container. I get a closer look at Armin as I lean in close to him.
"You don't look great yourself, either." I say, plugging in Mikasa's laptop. He grasps a strand of his blonde hair in embarrassment. I notice what he was sketching. "That's cool." I comment, pointing at the paper.
"Thanks." Armin replies softly. Finally, Mikasa runs back in, hyped up.
"ALRIGHT, EREN, YO--" She's stopped in her tracks. "Hey! You actually cleaned it for me." She still punches me in the stomach once anyway, causing me to grunt in pain. Armin giggles. "Go away now, Eren." Mikasa looks at me. I sigh.
"Okay, ' big sis '." I stay dejectedly. Armin looks at me once more.
"He can stay though, can't he?" Armin suggests. Mikasa strikes me an evil grin. I grin smally.
Eventually my mum calls us down for dinner. I sit next to Armin. We don't talk as much as we normally would. Instead Mikasa and my parents kind of fill the conversation. I just enjoy Armin's presence. After eating, we head back upstairs. I grow sadder anticipating Armin's goodbye, but I'm soon informed that Mikasa and Armin were having a sleepover. Thanks for not inviting me, guys . I laugh to myself. Armin goes to take a shower.
"Hey, wanna borrow some clothes?" I ask. He stutters slightly.
"Uh, yeah. Thanks." I hand him socks, pants, and a jumper to sleep in; just something comfy. Maybe things will go back to normal after all. In due course, Armin and Mikasa decide to go to bed. I suppose it is their sleepover, after all. I head back to my room, and sit with my lamp on. I read for a bit and sing to myself, but time passes very slowly. I fidget around thinking to myself. Maybe things won't go back to normal as quickly as I thought they might. Are Armin and I still fighting? Was us getting along today one off? A fluke, even? I rest my head back on my bed frame, resting deeply into my thoughts.
Soon enough though, I reopen my eyes to the cautious twisting of my door handle. The blonde boy peers through the gap.
"Hey, Eren." He speaks softly, the darkness of the hallway capturing his silhouette. "Can I come in?" His gentle voice continues.
"Yeah, of course." I whisper back.
"Sorry, Mikasa fell asleep and I'm not really tired yet." He says, walking over to my bed.
"That's okay." I shuffle sideways, and pat the space I left next to me. Armin follows my signal, and sits beside me. The lamp illuminates his golden hair. His eyes shine dimly but most gorgeously. Serenity. After a period of embarrassing silence, Armin hums.
"I've missed you." I become flustered. I can't help but laugh uncomfortably.
"You have no idea how much I've missed you." I reply, without thinking. He smiles at me, sweetly, before exhaling nervously.
"I'm really sorry, Eren."
"Armin, what are you saying? You did nothing wrong."
"Don't lie to yourself, Eren!" His voice trembles as he raises his voice. "I yelled at you for no reason. I should've been more considerate of your feelings, I really didn't mean to upset you."
"It’s not your fault, Armin." I say. His cheeks redden as his voice begins to shake more.
"It is my fault! I hurt you." He says, a few droplets slipping from his shiny ocean eyes. He's quick to cover his face with a hand, abstracting his features. I'm shocked. I haven't seen Armin so upset, so vulnerable, in so long. He's always been so strong, so brave, much more so than I've ever been. I do the only thing I know how at the moment. I reach forward and grab Armin tightly. I pull him into my arms with both force and care, I can't bear to see him like this.
"Armin…" I say softly. He tries to push away from my embrace.
"No, Eren! I'll get your shirt all wet!" He giggles through his tears.
"That's the least of my problems right now." I say, forcing Armin back into my arms. He cries softly into the crook of my neck, as I stroke his back affectionately. We hug for so long, as if we're making up for all the time we lost fighting. I even let out a few tears myself.
"I'm so sorry, Eren." Armin cries out desperately, through his heavy breathing.
"Shut up, Armin." I say, running my fingers through his beautiful hair, eyes still watering. I should be the one apologising to Armin. It’s my fault he's this upset in the first place. I can't bring myself to, though, probably because of my apparent selfishness. Armin really is so strong, I hate seeing him so sad.
After what seems like hours we're forced to pull away from one another. Our faces are close, and our noses almost touching. I slowly reach up to cup his cheeks with my hands. My mind is engulfed by butterflies. Armin's face is a beautiful tint of pink, probably from his tears. I imagine mine is too, but rather from a much different emotion. I lose control of my senses as my thumbs circle around Armin's soft cheeks slowly. I focus on the watery glimmer of his eyes, and the gorgeous array of freckles surrounding them. I can feel Armin's now steady breathing against my lips. He reaches up a hand to slowly stroke against my cheek also. His touch is so welcoming. He starts at my jawline, caresses slowly up my cheek, and towards my temple, where he starts to cycle his fingers back down again. I gently try to wipe his tears away, causing him to smile slightly. He's so stunning; absolutely breathtaking. He reaches up once more, embracing me with his arms loosely fitted around my neck. He rubs his head on the side of mine affectionately, almost like a cat would. His fingers run through my hair so irresistibly. He smells so wonderful. He's so warm.
"I love you, Eren." He steadily whispers into my ear. Blushing uncontrollably, I bury my face into his shoulder even deeper.
"Armin…" I say with desperation, my voice muffled in his neck. I blush so very deeply as he still strokes me all the while. "I love you too."
I awaken the next morning in a daze. My head still flooded with thoughts of last night, thoughts of Armin . I tilt my head to the side to find him still sleeping peacefully, his head snuggled into my chest. I impulsively start stroking his head, feeling his smooth locks of hair intertwine between my fingertips. His features shine in the sunlight being let through my window. The motion causes his eyelids to flutter open.
“Sorry.” I mumble at him, my voice a bit raspy from just waking up myself. He’s still half-asleep, so I continue to pat his head. Eventually his eyes fully open, to which he becomes flustered noticing the position we’re in.
“Sorry!” He gasps, sitting up. I follow.
“No, it’s okay.” I pat his shoulder, as he rubs his eyes. “It was nostalgic, but in a good way! Kind of like when we were kids having sleepovers.” He laughs adorably.
We head downstairs to find Mikasa making some tea. She places a teabag in her cup before facing us.
“You two get comfy last night?”
“Ah!” Armin blushes deeply, and steps more closely behind me in embarrassment.
“Don’t say stuff like that Mikasa!” I groan. “You’re such a weirdo.” Mikasa laughs.
“So you’re not fighting anymore?” She asks quizzically, pouring her tea. Armin and I chuckle.
“No, guess not.” I say. Mikasa sits down with her tea and we follow suit.
"Yeah. I was surprised it even lasted a fortnight, you two are usually inseparable."
“Where are your parents?” Armin asks.
“Shopping.” Mikasa sighs. “You guys know it’s nearly one o’clock, right?”
“ Crap !” Armin groans, sliding down his chair in frustration.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. Armin sits back up, and I watch in delight as he tucks a strand of golden hair behind his ear. He puts his head in his hands.
“I have to talk to Annie tomorrow.” I sigh at the remembrance of reality. This kind of thing isn’t normal, I just got lucky I guess. Now I have to go face my miserable school life. “I have to break up with her.”
“You and Annie are dating..?” I say, trying to act as if I wasn’t stalking him and Mikasa.
“Shut up, Eren, I already know that you were listening to us through the wall.” I feel a streak of guilt. “We used to do it to Mikasa as kids.” He giggles, to which Mikasa pulls a blank, but angry face. “I’m just worried she won’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“Just tell her, Armin. If she values you, she’ll still be happy to be your friend.”
“I guess you’re right Mikasa.”
The next day I wake up early. Mikasa and I promised we would be there for Armin when he talks to Annie this morning. Once we arrive on school grounds, the both of them are already there, as planned. Mikasa convinces me that we should leave them alone while they talk, so we sit in the quad and watch the scene play out from afar. Man. I never knew how expressive Annie could be. I don’t know what they're saying but, boy, is Annie pissed . She eventually storms away, prompting Armin to run over to Mikasa and I.
“What happened?” Mikasa asks with concern.
“I don’t wanna talk about it!” Armin says, breathing erratically as his expression lowers. I grab him by the shoulders.
“Armin!” His eyes lock into mine, making my heart melt in his place. “It’s gonna be okay…” Mikasa and I both lean over to hold Armin tightly. It’s full of emotion; Armin still panting away. I get into my newfound familiar pattern of stroking Armin’s hair, it’s soothing to both him and I. Armin calms down slightly.
“She doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.” We let go of one another.
“I’m sure she’ll come around!” Mikasa says optimistically. Armin doesn’t seem very obliged to believe her.
“Maybe her friendship wasn’t right for you, Armin. I’m sure she’ll find someone she can be happy with.” I suggest. Armin shoots me a dirty look which Mikasa instantly picks up on.
“Hey, hey! I get that you’re both kind of stupid but you’re not starting this crap again!” Mikasa commands. We both comply in a very ‘yes mum’ kind of way. Mikasa and I are both reminded of Armin’s situation upon seeing his abysmal expression. Mikasa tries to amend the situation. “How about we skip.” She suggests, mischievously.
“ Skip class ?! Are you crazy?!” Armin yells in shock. I can’t help but laugh.
“Armin, you can’t seriously go through all of high school without skipping a single class. You’re in year 10 for christ’s sake.” Armin’s still not convinced.
“We can’t skip, we’ll get caught, Mikasa . We’re literally in our uniforms.” Armin says sternly, with a certain amount of assertiveness to it.
“Well, then we’ll skip the whole day! We can go home and get changed.” I suggest.
“ Eren !” He whines.
“Ohh! Good idea.” Mikasa praises me. “It doesn’t count as truancy if we skip the whole day !”
“We can’t cut class, we’ll fall behind.” Mikasa and I shoot him a blank stare.
“You’ll be behind anyway, you never get any work done when you’re upset.” I say, leading Armin to shove me.
“They’ll call our parents if we’re away without an explanation!” Armin cries desperately, making me laugh.
“Like your grandpa will notice! He’s literally ancient, does he even have a phone?” Mikasa taunts.
“ Alright, Mikasa ! I get it.” Armin crosses his arms crankily. He’s basically got no reason to not skip, other than his absurd morale.
“So what’ll it be? The bell goes in twenty minutes so you better think fast.” I say. Armin groans as he exhales.
“Fuck it!” He yells.
“ Armin !” Mikasa gasps. We all laugh as we make our way to the school’s gates.
As we walk down the road we talk about the day ahead of us.
“So, Armin, what do you wanna do today?” Mikasa asks enthusiastically.
“I don’t know, I don’t usually do this kind of thing.”
“Duh, that’s why I’m asking you , it’s your first time truanting!” Mikasa cheers.
“Hey! Don’t say it like that or I’ll go back to school.” Armin pouts.
“What? It’s true. It’s like, your first time breaking a rule?” I taunt.
“ Eren !” He whines. “You’re not helping…” There is a pause in the conversation as we walk. “How about the city?” Armin mumbles his suggestion.
“Now you’re talking!” Mikasa smiles. When we arrive home, I have to look for something of mine that Armin can wear, since going back to his house as well would take too long. Also because he’s worried his grandpa will catch him. Armin sits on the edge of my bed as I sort through my drawers.
“Oh!” He exclaims.
“What is it?” I turn to him. Armin pulls the school jacket he borrowed from me from his bag.
“I found mine the other day, so you can have this back now.” I take it from his hands and put it aside. It smells wonderful. After spending a while looking at clothes, Armin gets fed up with all my poor outfit decisions and tells me to sit down while he searches himself. It was, and I quote, “very difficult” for him to find anything “decent looking”. He even borrowed things from Mikasa to put together some outfits for us. Maybe my fashion sense is kind of bad. I begin to undress.
“ Eren ! Can you not do that in front of me, you creep?!” Armin yells. I turn back to face him, now shirtless.
“What? You’ve seen it all before.” He pouts at me. “Armin, it’s not like I was gonna change underwear or anything.” I laugh, but he doesn’t find it so funny. “I’ll be quick.”
“Eren…” He whines again.
“Just look away if you don’t want to see, Armin. My god.” He blushes and does just that. Once I’ve changed pants I guess Armin is more comfortable seeing me again.
“Don’t look!” He yells.
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” He hisses.
“Sorry, sorry.” I attempt to avert my eyes. Mikasa yells at us through the wall.
“You know, one of you could’ve just gotten changed in the bathroom!” I giggle.
Soon we’re ready, and all before nine o’clock. Armin and Mikasa both look stunning. I’ve never really realised how fashionable they are until now.
“Did Armin pick out your clothes?” Mikasa asks.
“Yes, why?”
“Ah. The sight of you just doesn’t make me wanna vomit for once.”
“Wow, thanks Mikasa.” We race our way to the station for the next train to the city. Armin looks a bit guilty about school, but is excited nonetheless. He sits next to me on the train, Mikasa opposite the both of us. We all kind of melt away into the long train trip mood. The satisfactory yet tedious silence. However, Armin breaks the silence soon enough.
“I told Annie that I agreed to go out with her because I panicked.” I look over to him. He’s leaning against the window, mumbling while not facing either of us. “I feel bad. I let her down without taking her on a single date.” I nudge him.
“It’s only fair, you did say that you didn’t like her like that , right?”
“Something like that.” He chuckles.
“ Armin !” I gasp. “What’d you tell her?!”
“Well, I didn’t have the confidence to say that I didn’t like her. That felt mean. I told her that I liked someone else.” Mikasa kicks Armin’s foot.
“You jerk.” She laughs.
“Is that not any better?” He asks.
“Well, I guess it depends on the situation.” Mikasa says, on second thought.
“Like what?”
“Whether you actually like someone else, Armin.” He giggles.
“I never told either of you that I don’t like someone else.” He laughs. Mikasa sinks back into her seat, matching Armin’s joy. I try to overlook Armin’s previous statement.
“No wonder she’s so mad at you, Armin.” I say.
“ What. ” Armin looks up at me. “Now you guys are just being mean.” I laugh along with Mikasa. This is what I’ve missed for so long.
“No use worrying about it, Armin. Everything will resolve by itself. If Annie doesn’t want to be friends anymore, it’ll just have to be that way.” Mikasa nods in agreement, her eyes shut tightly whilst engulfed in the train’s light motion. Armin lays his head on my shoulder.
“I wish it didn’t.” He says. I put my hand around his back, pulling him closer.
“I know.”
Gradually, we arrive at the city and I can feel Armin’s excitement grow. We go for a walk around the harbour, mostly taking in the sights of the bustling environment that we’re not used to. Mikasa takes a lot of photos of everything . The interesting views, Armin, herself, and I. She's been super into social media photography recently, I think it's kind of funny. We walk into a plaza and shop for a while. I get bored pretty quickly, but watching Mikasa and Armin be all excited going in and out of changerooms wearing outfits they obviously could never afford, is fun enough in itself. Later on we grab something to eat and walk to a park with it. There’s grass, fountains, water features, and so so many people. We sit down on a bench and talk while we eat. Suddenly, I get an idea.
“Mikasa.” She looks up at me. “Truth or dare?”
“Come on, Eren. I’m not five.” We pause. “Fine. Dare.”
“I dare you to run through the water fountain.”
“ Eren ! Are you trying to kill me?” Armin giggles.
“Mikasa you have to do it, it’s a dare.” Armin smiles.
“Wow Armin. I thought we were friends.” She stands up and does as she was told. When she's done, she runs back to us and starts taking off her shoes, pouring water out of them.
“Oh no! Not my $200 platform goth boots!”
“Shut up, Armin.” She hisses. She turns to him, soaked in water. “Armin, truth or dare?”
“Truth.” Mikasa groans. She asks in her stark, monotonal voice:
“Do you like anyone?” I’m sure she asked that so I wouldn’t embarrass myself over doing so later.
“Yes.” He replies, flustered, yet melodramaticlly.
“Who?!” I ask.
“No follow up questions!” He yells, laughing.
“Wow, Armin. Pretty low that you would keep something like that from me.” I state. Mikasa rolls her eyes at me.
“Eren.” Armin looks at me.
“Dare.”
“Lick Mikasa.”
“Ew, Armin, you rat!” Mikasa yells.
“That’s uncalled for, man.” I agree with Mikasa.
“That’s what you get for asking me a personal question.”
“Harsh dude.” Mikasa says before being interrupted by me licking her cheek like a dog. We both yell, and she fake gags. She sure tastes like… makeup. I glare at Armin.
“Fine, dare.” He responds. I grin.
“Go stand in the fountain and dance.” He groans and starts taking his shoes off.
“There’s so many people here!” He whines. I watch him as he cautiously steps down into the small water feature, turning back to face us once he reaches the middle. Armin’s apparent lack of dancing ability becomes clear once he kind of just stands there awkwardly. He makes a few vague motions with his arms before hitting the woah and dabbing. On his way to exit the water, he slips into it, attracting more attention from onlookers than his weird interpretive dance did. I walk over to help him, but he responds by splashing me with water. We end up having a mini water fight. I watch as his blonde hair fades to a brownish colour as it soaks with water. Mikasa eventually comes over to pull us out of the water, so all three of us are now drenched. Armin is laughing uncontrollably. He sounds beautiful; it’s so nice to see him this happy. We sit in the sun to dry off, but to not much avail. It’s relaxing though. Armin and I sit close and cloud gaze for a while. Every now and then I look over at him, and the sight of him is mesmerising.
We do a few more things throughout the day, but as the sun sets we are forced to board the train home. Armin cuddles into my chest again. His clothes are still a bit damp. We don’t talk much this time, just relax. Soon, we start our walk home, and it doesn't take long until we get to the place where we would usually depart from Armin, the place where I am met with the bittersweetness I’m all too used to.
“Wanna come over to my house for the night?”
“ Armin ! We have school tomorrow.” I whine, almost hypocritically.
“We could always skip.” He winks, making me chuckle. Mikasa heads back home, but I follow Armin. Call me crazy, I guess. It’s gotten pretty late by now, so I worry for Armin.
“Won’t you get in trouble?” I ask as he fiddles with his keys.
“Nah, Grandpa’s probably been sleeping for a long time now.” We tip-toe inside. I borrow a set of Armin’s clothes, and we take turns showering. I sit in Armin’s room while I wait for him to return from his shower.
“It’s a mess in here.” I say as Armin walks in.
“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting guests.”
“ You invited me !” I laugh. I snatch Armin’s towel from him and start to pat his hair dry. “You know, wet hair will make you catch a cold.” I say, trying to sound philosophical and knowledgeable.
“That’s actually factually incorrect, Eren. It’s been proven false many times, bacteria has to spread in order for a disease to be caught, so simply by--” I interrupt his rant as I finish drying out his soft, long hair.
“Alright, I get it smarty-pants.” He laughs.
“My jumper is so small on you.” He giggles. I grin in response. I sit back down on his bed as he brushes his hair.
“Come here, Armin!” I whine. He sits next to me and wraps his arms around me in an instant, almost as if he read my mind. I draw patterns on his back with my fingers, and he starts laughing.
“Eren! That’s ticklish!” I tickle him once more before he whacks me, stopping me.
“Sorry. I just love hearing you laugh.” He pulls away from the embrace blushing. Our eyes meet.
“Thank you for today, Eren. You and Mikasa… It all really means a lot to me.”
“Anything for you, Armin. You mean the world to me.” I hug him once again, this time stroking his hair.
“ Stop it ! You’re making me blush.” He says, his delicate hands rubbing up my back and down to my waist. I laugh. Armin gently changes our position. I’m now sitting back in his bed, him on my lap, still holding me all the while. I hold him back tightly, wishing we could stay like this forever.
“Armin..?” I ask slowly. He hums in acknowledgement. “...I love you.” Armin releases his embrace slightly and looks deeply into my eyes. I can feel his gaze piercing my heart. I’m totally captivated by the enchanting pools of blue before me. He caresses my cheek with his left hand, his right resting on my chest. He leans in gently and kisses me. He kisses me?! WHAT. HELLO?! AM I EVEN PROCESSING THIS RIGHT NOW?! Something lit inside me, causing me to shut my eyes tightly. I cup his cheeks with my hands, leading Armin to follow suit with his right hand. I kiss back hard. Our lips perform a sweet rhythm as we exchange kisses softly. All of our emotions are thrown out the window, as we pull each other closer together. I can’t let this moment die out; I won’t let this moment die out. My cheeks feel hot as hell, even beneath Armin’s grasp. He eventually reaches his arms around my neck, and to my displeasure, pulls away. I reopen my eyes to find Armin a bright red colour too. His smile is extremely gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, and absolutely perfect . We hug one another tightly before he gives me a small peck on the lips once more.
“I love you too, Eren.”