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“I’ve been feeling very inconvenienced lately.”
They were on the border between Mondstadt and Liyue, sun setting as both of them sat together once again in the grassy lands located atop Stone Gate. The air smelled of a quickly approaching summer, the sound of rustling leaves and nocturnal creatures beginning to emerge in the background.
“Pardon?” Xiao says, not quite understanding what Venti means.
“So… I’ve been having trouble sleeping these days,” the other confesses.
Xiao hadn’t expected that statement, but he hums in acknowledgement. He’s all-too-familiar with the feeling; he could count the amount of times he’s slept peacefully on two hands. It was a stark contrast to the amount of times he’d been plagued by nightmares, each one marking the souls he’d slain of days long past.
“I’m not sure why you’re telling me of your current afflictions, when you are aware I am not the right person to approach with these kinds of matters.”
“Oh, I’m fully aware – but is it so wrong to want to know how you would react to a poor bard’s woes?”
Yes, Xiao thinks, because he’s the last person anyone should come to for comfort, emotional or otherwise.
Yes, because that would mean Venti is expecting something from him, and he’d hate to disappoint the bard.
Yes, because ultimately it’s these mundane little statements that give him hope, and help him believe that he is anything but a vessel to carry the burdens of the world.
Xiao sighs. “No.”
Venti smiles, and lifts a mint flower in front of him.
“I thought so. Besides, you being worried about whether you’d actually be of help to me or not… it makes me happy. It means you care.”
Care is a strong word, especially coming from Venti, who encompasses care like nobody else could. He, who knows nothing but to show benevolence for all kinds of people, to find beauty and hope even within those who have long succumbed to pain and suffering.
If anything, Xiao thinks his attempted amicability with the bard is out of basic respect, not care; having Venti put it that way flatters him a lot more than it should.
“Well then – tell me, Xiao. I’m curious. Hypothetically, how would you put this troublesome bard to sleep?” Venti says, setting the mint down.
Xiao follows his movements and sees its bright blue residue on his fingers, painting their delicate form in a beautiful color.
The adeptus briefly wonders why the boy humors him like this a tad bit too often, and why he takes up the chance every time.
He couldn’t help it, as of late he had found it to be increasingly difficult these days to even so much as show disapproval to Venti in any shape or form. He ponders a bit before speaking up.
“There is an ancient adeptus art called dream eating. I’m sure you know what that implies.”
Venti raises his eyebrows up, and casts a look over the darkening horizon.
“I don’t recall telling you the problem laid in my dreams, but I suppose you’ve always been more perceptive than I thought.” He says, voice a tad bit quiter than earlier.
“No, that didn’t occur to me. I had suggested dream eating because… I’m familiar with it.”
“I sense a slight hesitation there, Xiao.” Venti says, “You don’t need to force yourself to do anything for my sake, I promise.”
Xiao makes note of two things. One, how quickly Venti had diverted the topic, and two, how he had easily picked up on his unease. He’s quite thankful he had, but at the same time, he wants to know more about Venti’s own doubts.
For all their familiarity, he knows there are still unspoken thoughts they keep from each other, rifts in the mutual understanding both have – and neither have made any particular effort to rectify it yet.
He doesn’t mention that he was being sincere with the offer though, even if it was less than favorable on his end. Xiao keeps his silence, in the hopes that Venti will divulge his thoughts to him in due time.
Venti moves a bit, sprawling fully on the rumpled grass beneath him.
“Say, Xiao. Come here for a bit.”
Xiao brings himself over to where Venti is laid on the ground, noticing how the green of his cape blends in well with the blue-green hue of dusk reflected upon the grass. He notices how small he looks on the ground underneath his standing form, how even in his shadow Venti looks like he’s bathed in an omnipresent glow.
And Venti once again smiles up at him – always, always, smiling.
The bard rolls over and tugs at the ribbon in Xiao’s back, causing him to snap out of his little reverie and nearly stumble into Venti.
“Venti,” he says, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in.
The other boy pouts, looking up at Xiao.
“Do I have to say it? Come lie down with me.”
It was very much like Venti to be direct, but for all the wrong things. He’d much rather Venti be direct and say what he thinks of their increasingly frequent meet-ups, what he sees in the yaksha that has him coming back time and time again – not a direct statement about how he wanted Xiao to lay next to him, in the moonlit grasslands.
Again, despite all that, he could not find it within himself to oppose him.
He mutters out a quick “I suppose”, and sits cross-legged on the grass, making sure to keep some distance between him and the other boy. Venti shakes his head.
“No. Down. And closer, why are you distancing yourself from me?”
Xiao, very slowly, shifts closer to Venti.
“There – that wasn’t so difficult, was it now?”
“I fail to see why you’re insistent on doing this.”
Venti turns to face him, expression playful yet serene.
“Dream eating, and many other mystical reprieves. Mortals don’t have those. But they too, run into difficulty sleeping, amongst other inconveniences. Do you know what they do, Xiao?”
Xiao looks at him blankly. Only a minute ago was the bard being direct, and now he’s speaking once more in the subtlety that he’s not used to.
“I don’t know what mortals do, and you know I am not adept at making conjectures.”
To his surprise, Venti laughs. His laugh is like the warm rays of sunlight seeping in after a storm, dissipating the leftover fog with its effervescence.
“Okay, let me show you…”
Venti pulls him close, too close, and starts rubbing circles into his back. Xiao feels the tension in his body ease just a tiny bit, muscles loosening under Venti’s practiced fingers. It feels heavenly, and he couldn’t help but arch a bit into his touch.
“Humans, they’re just as stubborn as us immortals. However, they don’t have any ability to force emotional relief, not even visions can go that far. So, all they can do is offer each other physical comfort where there is none for the heart, the mind, the emotions.”
“I see. Then… is this what you would want?” Xiao asks, voice wavering a bit towards the end.
Venti nods, giving Xiao a smile he had come to associate as uniquely Venti – bright, but slightly worn at the edges, frayed at the ends; a grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
How did Xiao, as emotionally inept as he is, manage to come to this conclusion? It is a mystery to him as much as it would be for others as well, but he supposes prolonged exposure to Venti made him pick up on a few things.
If not his smile, then it would be how sometimes he’d look a bit more tired than usual, or how his words occasionally have a dullened lilt to them.
Xiao hesitates, before laying a hand on Venti’s arm. Even through the silken fabric of his poet shirt, it’s warm. Impossibly warm. The bard opens his arms out to the adeptus.
“Make me feel human, Xiao.” Venti says, voice impossibly low, but eyes still transfixed on his.
There is a silent plea interwoven between Venti’s words, that seems to ask Xiao to say nothing of his behavior. And Xiao won’t, he won’t, but he hopes that this same silence would suggest to Venti that he need not be asking for forgiveness.
Not when he wants it as much, if not more, than him.
Hesitantly he brings his arms around Venti’s lithe form. The feel of Venti against him is nothing short of divine, shared body warmth between them standing out in the evening chill, hearts beating steadily against each other’s chests.
Venti wraps his arms tighter around Xiao, but turns his face away.
“Mm. It’s nice. Thank you.” Venti states, letting out a soft sigh.
Before he could think better, Xiao lets a moment of honesty slip by.
“Anything for you, Venti.”
Just like that, something in Venti changes. He suddenly moves higher within the yaksha’s embrace, until he’s once again face-to-face with Xiao.
“Xiao.” Venti says, tracing his fingers over the apple of Xiao’s cheek. It’s hesitant, it’s delicate, it speaks of actions belying words unsaid. With every smooth drag of his fingers Xiao feels their tenderness and warmth. He feels a purpose.
“You probably don’t realize it, but you’ve always been so kind to me.” Venti states, voice gravely.
His fingers were now travelling down to Xiao’s lips, then brush against them lightly. And then they still in their movement, waiting.
“Even now, you’re too kind to me.”
Without meaning to, Xiao puts his hands on Venti’s face, pleased to find that the bard’s cheeks are very soft. He moves his hands down to the other’s fingers, surprised to find them trembling a bit.
His mind interjects, reminding him that he does not think he’s acting this way to Venti out of kindness. It is simply basic courtesy.
But he knows that behind that, he has less than noble intentions. He is selfish. Quite selfish in fact, disguising the fleeting whispers of his heart as goodwill, his want for something more –
“Do you not enjoy this kindness, then?” Xiao asks.
Venti smiles softly, emerald eyes shining in the moonlight.
“I enjoy it a bit too much. That’s what makes me afraid.”
“I –“ Xiao stutters, heartbeat picking up. Not a good sign. But once more, finds himself opening his mouth before he could think twice.
“I enjoy this a lot too. Perhaps as much as you do… or more.”
The grass rustles noisily as both of them suddenly made to move. Neither really knew who made the first move, but the relief that flooded through both was absolutely electrifying.
The kiss was barely there at first. Venti had simply brushed his lips across Xiao’s, in an act of diffidence. A hesitant invitation, a reluctant questioning. It left tingles on Xiao’s lips, a small feeling compared to the sudden rush of warmth engulfing his body.
And it was then, that Xiao realized all too quickly.
Venti pulls back, hand coming up to cup against Xiao’s cheek. He looks straight into his eyes, and Xiao notices a strange mix of boldness and uncertainty reflected in them.
“This is how much I appreciate your kindness. I hope… you’re okay with that?” Venti says, voice subdued.
In the next moment, Xiao has both of his hands on Venti’s face, left thumb stroking along his cheeks as his right one creeps along the other’s back, fingers splayed possessively over grass strewn white fabric. Venti’s breath hitches.
Xiao smiles, both in relief and in a rush of fondness towards this stupid bard.
“Of course. I will never not be.” he says, tilting Venti’s chin up. Venti’s face is inches from him, and he could see the reinvigorated light in the other’s eyes to the color adorning Venti’s cheeks.
It’s long been established, but Xiao genuinely does think Venti is absolutely beautiful, in every sense of the word. Seeing the object of his desire be in front of him, expectant and equally as wanting, sets off fireworks in his brain.
When Xiao closes the gap between them, he almost swears he’d ascended to Celestia itself. Venti’s lips are soft, so soft, and extremely pliant – it tastes of sweet wine, of morning dew, and Xiao could indulge in their taste forever if he could.
Venti is shaking, his breath stuttering, and oh, Xiao could not help relish in the fact that Venti is practically putty in his arms in this moment.
“Xiao… Xiao… Xiao,”
Venti chants like a prayer every time they break apart, fingers hastily roaming anywhere, everywhere, any semblance of Xiao they could reach. From his face, neck, shoulder, forearm, moving as if their only purpose was to drink in the yaksha before him.
Archons, he had never felt this loved.
And what else could Xiao do but continue to return the favor, threading his fingers through the bard’s soft locks as he continues to kiss him to oblivion.
They kiss for a while – reserved but also messy, cautious but also insistent; eons of repressed feelings manifesting in this one moment.
Venti pulls apart first, lips red and face flushed a pretty pink as he looks away. His hands are still gripping onto Xiao’s forearms, scared to let go.
“It seems… I got more than I bargained for?” he says, flashing Xiao a goofy but blissed out smile. Xiao’s first thought wasn’t his statement, but rather how for once, he sees the smile reach Venti’s eyes.
“…I would like to do this again, if you don’t mind.” Xiao coughs, suddenly registering that he too must be looking a bit disheveled.
“After all that, do you really think I do?”
Xiao huffs, and hears a small giggle from the other.
“You know, as bold as you are sometimes, you can be extremely dense too. Yes, I would like to do this again… and again. Please.” Venti assures him.
They’re still sitting on the grass, moonlight shining above them as Venti moves over to him and once more hugs the adeptus in a tight embrace. He looks up at him, eyes full of what Xiao supposes is some sort of adoration.
“I’m yours, Xiao. Always have been.”
He feels himself quickly become embarrassed, and briefly regrets having put his mask aside to lay with Venti. But he rests his hand on Venti’s cheek anyway, and wraps an arm around him too, feeling the other lean into his touch.
“And I to you.”
On another day, Xiao would eventually ask Venti of his troubles; why he'd been so hesitant, a bit strung up until that point. But for now, he lets the bard fall into a restful sleep, safely nestled in his arms.