Chapter Text
Today has started out very weirdly, especially for Utahime. Her senses, which have all heightened ever since she started venturing out into the jujutsu community and curses-exorcising, have been on alert the moment she opened her eyes in her old dormitory room. The sun, despite the fact that summer has been nearing its peak, hid behind big clouds immediately after rising. It casted a gloomy shadow, misting all over the city of Tokyo and their educational institution, which is Tokyo Jujutsu High.
Non-sorcerers would have shrugged off these happenings and went on about their lives. They’d probably think that the weather is acting weird because of the constant pollution and blame it on climate change. But the young girl, in her usual miko outfit, cannot shrug off the thought all throughout the day. As the sun hid itself still behind clouds as the day progressed, she couldn't tamp down the gnawing in her mind that something bad will happen today.
Yes, granted that it is not news for extreme things to happen to the jujutsu community. Every minute they live is a minute of their lives in danger. Especially after what happened with the Star Plasma Vessel mission, Utahime has long let go of the ability to be surprised at whatever news may come to them. Being assigned to missions has helped this thinking too. One minute, you’ll be fighting a curse and think you’re winning, the next minute is the last breath you will ever take.
But the news she received late in the night after a long day made her jaw drop open. Her cup of tea that she has just finished making meets the floor, green fluid spilling over the floorboards of her room.
Nobody was prepared for the news. And the worse part of it was that no one saw it coming. Or maybe they did, someone did, but chose to ignore it, willing themselves to believe that the jujutsu community had not tilted out of place when the Star Plasma Vessel mission got botched.
True, Suguru Geto has been pretty distant lately. The young special grade sorcerer has been opting to partake in solo missions more and more often after his mission with Gojo and the death of Riko Amanai. But people shrugged it off, thinking he just needed some thinking, and maybe a bit of space. Also, it is understandable that Geto wanted to hone his skills individually, what with his and Gojo’s unspoken competition of keeping up with each other’s level of strength. One that Utahime has always failed to understand.
Still, he was the better part of their duo. He was calmer, he listens closely to people and never cuts them off. Also, he gives soft smiles to everyone.
Geto Suguru burned down a whole village, with that high a number of casualties. And involving his parents? It just doesn’t make sense. This must be some sort of joke played upon us by the higher-ups, Utahime thinks when she first hears the news.
But deep down she knew it was true. And as she cleans up the spilled tea on her dorm room floor, she wishes that it will be just a mistake. That it was some other curse user. Then her mind drifts off to Gojo, wondering how the other half of their duo will take the news.
She makes a mental note to look for Gojo as soon as she finishes cleaning up, but that chance is taken away when she hears a rustling of her door, and it opens to reveal her friend, Shoko.
Her eyes were red and puffy from hours of crying, Utahime deduces. She automatically opens her arms out wide, and Shoko crashes into her, a sobbing mess as Utahime wraps her in a hug.
Shoko crying is a rare occasion, and Utahime doesn’t even remember when was the last time she saw her burst into such tears. Her heart breaks for her friend, but she knows that Shoko is shattered right now and the thing to do is be there for her silently.
Minutes pass by and Shoko looks up at her with a dead-beat face, tears still trickling down her cheeks. She pauses a sob and manages to speak out.
“Utahime. I don’t understand how this happened. We were okay, right? We have seen him these past few weeks ever since their botched mission and he seemed okay,” Shoko lets out. Her voice is raspy from crying and she chokes a sob once more.
Utahime just pats Shoko’s back, arms still wrapped around her dear kouhai. She was unsure of what to say. She can’t believe it either. It feels like a nightmare smacked into their lives and they’re living it.
Their team of three, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko were pretty much inseparable. And seeing Shoko in such a state, completely devastated, shows her how deep the bond their trio had. Utahime knows that Shoko is hurting to such lengths, even though she is the one always left behind because she has a different cursed technique and is more convenient in the background than fighting upfront, the news will still hurt her to a certain degree.
The missions, especially against special grade curses, were mostly delegated to Geto and Gojo. They were the duo who seemed to be able to kill off curses in a ten-mile radius under a minute. And as Utahime’s mind wanders towards Gojo, she again wonders where the deemed strongest sorcerer could be.
She gently taps Shoko’s shoulder, who has long gone silent.
“Sho, have you seen Gojo since the news broke out?’ she asks, gently.
Shoko looks up to her and shakes her head.
“We were with Yaga-sensei going over something earlier when we heard about it. But when Yaga-sensei told us about it, he just went silent. Then he left the room. I haven’t seen him since,” Shoko says.
Utahime nods understandingly, unsure now of how to handle the subject once more.
“I think he needs time. We do all need time to digest what has happened,” she says soothingly.
Shoko removes herself from her arms and sits down on the edge of the bed. She stares aimlessly at the floor, watching her feet just lay there. Guessing her friend is still in shock, Utahime stands up.
“Do you want me to make you some tea?”
With Shoko’s small nod, she goes over to the mini kitchen she has in her room and starts brewing some water. As the pot slowly bubbles up under the heat of the stove, her mind wanders again where Gojo might be.
Though the boy can be annoying, he’s still a person who is greatly affected by Geto’s downfall. Always telling her he’s the strongest of them all and it is his constant duty to keep Utahime out of danger, tugging at her neatly tied pigtails, as well as making fun of her choice of wardrobe are just a handful of things that Gojo does to annoy her all throughout the day ever since he stepped foot inside Tokyo Jujutsu High. Despite the somewhat bad blood between them, Utahime knows that Gojo has a high regard for the state of the jujutsu community, and for that, she holds him to a certain level of respect.
She wonders how much his heart aches for his best friend. They were like two peas in a pod, fully inseparable.
Finishing up Shoko’s tea, she tends to her friend all throughout the night. She watches over her and tucks her to sleep in her bed, making sure the blanket hugs her body completely. Once she’s sure Shoko’s deep in slumber, she gives herself time to rest by retiring on a small couch she owns. She tries to sleep, but she feels restless. It’s not because of the uncomfortable position that the couch offers, but more of the fact that she feels the need to see Gojo tonight.
She tugs on her familiar brown boots and makes her way from the girls’ wing to the boys’. The hallways are dimly lit, and the silence is deafening. Easily locating Gojo’s room where they often hang around, she softly knocks on the door. There came no answer, and she tried twisting the doorknob to see if it would open. It does, and what meets her is a clean and silent room, empty of life.
She spots a half-eaten pack of mochi on the table, and she guesses that the last time someone has been here is this morning. Only Gojo Satoru is the person who can eat such sweet food first thing in the day.
She exits the room, closing the door softly. Utahime knows she should head back up to her room, watch over Shoko who might have woken up once more tonight. Knowing the things that happened today, it will not be a shock if tomorrow will be a busy day. Maybe the higher-ups will dispatch some sorcerers to look for Geto.
With that thought, she hopes that they’re considerate enough not to send Gojo after him.
Against the better part of her, she wanders around the institution, looking for signs that Gojo may have been there. She makes it out of the main gate, almost to the street where stores are situated and the night life is definitely higher than their peaceful school grounds and still there was no sign of the white-haired sorcerer.
Utahime scolds herself as a breeze picks up, rustling her miko outfit and giving her shivers. She should head back, her feet now aching, her back wanting to lie down on the comfort of her bed. Debating if she should continue her aimless search or head back to their school, she hears a scuffle a few paces ahead of her in the street she is standing at.
Blinking, she makes out a tall silhouette slowly coming into view. And then there he is, in his jujutsu high uniform, glasses perched on his nose in a weird angle. His tall build that normally gives off an arrogant vibe accompanied by an annoying grin plastered on his lips 24/7 is gone.
The person they call the strongest now looks distraught.
He stops a few paces away from her. Utahime then realizes that Gojo has not seen her yet. She can make a run for it now, she thinks, and then stupidly scolds herself for her sudden bout of cowardice for no reason.
Looking up to see his ocean-blue eyes peeking from his glasses, Utahime’s breath catches when he meets her eyes. His eyes that usually hold such a mischievous glint whenever he teases her through their school days are gone, now devoid of emotion and showing signs of fatigue.
She opens her mouth to say something, then stops herself first. Gathering a breath, she calls out to him to confirm it is him.
“Satoru.”
Utahime calls out his name, and is suddenly surprised that she uses his given name. She never calls him that, but for some reason, it felt right at that moment.
“Utahime!” he says, his voice still in the same annoying whine, but the tone was off. He cracks a false grin towards her as he walks over closer.
Utahime stands there, unmoving. She’s unsure of what to do, and she will never open her arms out in an invitation for an embrace or else Gojo will never let her forget it for the rest of her life. So she stands there still as a mannequin until he stops just a step away from her.
Finding the right words, Utahime startles when he holds out his hand to take hers. She notices his Infinity is off and is about to rattle on and scold him about it, how putting down his Infinity at such a crucial time is very stupid when he speaks.
“Grab a coffee with me, will you?”
Her face scrunches up in confusion at his random request.
“You barely drink coffee.”
He just shrugs. “Just humor me.”
Surprising both herself and Gojo, she nods and relents.
Gojo stares at her for a good second and suddenly, he has an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Her face meets his chest, their height difference a good 20 cm never been pointed out so clearly. She’s about to complain when he suddenly jumps from their current street to a different one.
She looks around. They’re right in the middle of a busy Tokyo street, people milling about despite it being almost the dead of the night.
Not knowing what to say, she wanders around with Gojo until they see a secluded coffee shop still open. The awning makes it seem that it must be an old foundation. The store is bare except for the old woman by the counter and another old man sitting on a table, busy poring over a comic book.
The door creaks and the bell gives a rusty ding as they close it behind them. Gojo sits on one of the chairs by the counter, waving down the owner. She follows, sitting beside him, and just waits, afraid she might say the wrong things.
“What can I get you?” the old woman asks, her voice croaky of old age.
Gojo’s attention is no longer on the owner, but on his hands planted down on the counter. The woman then turns to look at Utahime, expecting their order.
“Oh. I’ll have a cup of hot tea, please,” Utahime says, then looks over at Gojo.
“He’ll have a cup of coffee.”
The woman nods and before she makes her way behind the store to make their order, Utahime adds, “Please add a lot of sugar cubes to the coffee, thank you.”
The owner leaves and then they’re wrapped in silence once again. The only thing breaking the continuous silence is the heavy breathing of the old man in the store as he devours his book.
Clearing her throat, Utahime calls out. “Gojo.”
“Don’t call me that,” he says suddenly, eyes still on his hands on the counter.
“Huh?”
He looks over at her.
“Call me Satoru again.”
Utahime scoffs. “Is there even a difference? Both are your names.”
He smiles at her, a soft smile. Unlike the false grin he gave her earlier out in the street.
“Satoru feels softer when you say it, Hime. You use Gojo when you’re annoyed at me,” he whines.
Rolling her eyes, Utahime shots back. “Well, that’s because you’re always annoying.”
He makes a tsk-ing sound with his mouth, then falls silent. After a while, he speaks again.
“Satoru, Utahime. I don’t want to think you find me annoying tonight.”
That surprises Utahime, the cat getting her tongue as she stays silent this time.
“Fine, then.”
Another awkward silence ensues. Having enough of it, Utahime turns towards Gojo who stares at her.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He leaves her question unanswered, turning his eyes away from hers. The old woman comes back bearing two cups and places it in front of them. She leaves immediately, letting them be in peace, or in this situation, an awkward silence that both of them don’t know how to break.
Utahime wonders if it’s too late to go back to her dorm and sleep off the day's weariness. She stays though, wrapping her hands against the warmth of her tea cup, grateful for it after hours of spending walking outside.
“Hime. What do you want to do after you graduate?”
The random question surprises her, and taken aback, Utahime takes a bit of time to manage out an answer.
“Well, I’d want to be a sorcerer of course. And though I know I am not as strong as other sorcerers, you’ve rubbed it on my face for far too long now, I’d still like to be able to exorcise curses and be of use to the community, I guess.”
Her face flushes a bit as she finishes her sentence. It felt vulnerable, telling Gojo about her plans after her schooling. She has never talked about it to anyone before, except her own parents.
“So you plan on staying in Tokyo, then? Here at Tokyo High?”
“Why do you even ask?” she questions him.
“To follow you around, of course!” he grins.
“Don’t you dare do that or I’ll choke you to death.”
Gojo roars out a laugh. “Hysterics won’t win men, you know.”
Utahime ignores his teasing.
“So? Tokyo?” Gojo gauges her.
“Actually, I was thinking of applying to Kyoto High.”
“Apply for what?”
Utahime refuses to meet Gojo’s eyes, ashamed of her plans once more.
“Well, I’d like to teach jujutsu students along the side. I think it’d be nice,” Utahime says, her voice a bit small.
“Hmm, makes sense. Why Kyoto then?” Gojo asks, his brows raised in question.
“Why do you have so many questions?” Utahime asks, embarrassment still evident in her face.
She doesn’t want anyone to think her dreams are smaller than other sorcerers around her age have. Though she doesn’t think that way, knowing full well tha being a teacher means so much more to the community than other people seem to let on, it still feels a bit personal to converse about it.
To Gojo, no less. She’s afraid he’d think of her as someone weaker than he first thought to be, one prejudice against her that she has tried to defy for so long.
“I chose Kyoto to get away from you,” she jokes dryly.
Gojo dramatically puts a hand over his heart, face acting shocked and pained.
“You wound me, Utahime!”
“Utahime-senpai, you idiot!” she snarls back at the boy beside her.
He chuckles a bit. “It’s not like you can get away from me, Utahime,” he says in a sing-song tone.
And deep down Utahime knows that. The strongest sorcerer the jujutsu world looks up to has developed this clinginess to her that she can’t seem to shake off. He’s annoying, the very depiction of a man-child, but Utahime realizes then and there he’d let her annoy her as long as he doesn’t end up like Geto.
“I just chose Kyoto to have a different environment, nothing more,” Utahime relents, answering his question.
He nods absently.
“Teaching, huh? I might try that out, too! That way we can be colleagues, Utahime,” Gojo smiles at her, the same old stupid grin he always wears.
“Please don’t. You’d be horrifying to have as a teacher. The poor students you will handle.”
“No way, Hime! Students will flock to Tokyo High once they hear that the strongest sorcerer will teach them the world of jujutsu, neh?”
Utahime just looks at him with a dead-pan look, knowing that will never happen. He’ll be a menace, just like how he is the worse half of him and Geto’s duo.
Her mind drifts to the initial issue that was the reason why she looked for Gojo. She still doesn’t know how to broach the subject with him. Unlike Shoko, he doesn’t seem to let his emotions get to him, even though Utahime knows it was the complete opposite of what is true.
Gojo may be a jerk, but he still spent most of his life with Geto, parading around with their usual line of “We are the strongest”. It must still be a pain, or it may not have sunk in his mind what has happened.
Her tea and his coffee are both almost gone. The old man who was reading a comic book was already gone, his leaving only notified to them by the rusty bell once more. The old woman who’s probably the owner hasn’t gone out the back of the place since giving them their orders. She may have forgotten she still had customers who haven’t paid for their orders yet.
Braving it, Utahime gently taps Gojo on the shoulder. His Infinity is still off, she realizes.
“Satoru. You know you can let out your thoughts about what happened, right?”
He gives her a look, cocking his head to the side.
“But doing that will mean I have to accept it, right?”
Utahime tries to find the words to say what is right at the moment, but she fails to do so. She should’ve just humored him with pointless stories and her random dreams. She should’ve told him she found his leftover mochi in the fridge of her dorm room, the one he accused her of eating even though she does not have a single sweet tooth.
She just sighs.
“I’m sorry, I should not be forcing you to talk about it. It’s just..,” Utahime’s voice trails.
“Just what, Utahime?”
“I wanted to help. For some reason, I felt like it’d be nice to help soothe whatever you feel, but clearly I am not the right person to talk to you about it. Maybe you should head over to Yaga-sensei’s office tomorrow?” she suggests.
Gojo stands up, leaving a few bills on the counter from his pocket. He ignores her suggestion and holds out a hand.
“I’ll jump back to the dorm. I need some rest.”
Utahime takes his hand and nods, and a split second after, they’re inside Gojo’s dorm room. Shocked, Utahime recoils, taking back her hand.
“Why did you jump here directly, you idiot?” she asks.
Gojo turns to her, amusement evident in his eyes behind his glasses.
“I told you I needed to rest, Utahime,” he says as he strolls over to his bed, removing his shoes and plopping down on the bed.
“Well, you could’ve jumped to the front of the dormitories. Now I’d have to go back to my room alone. You’re so annoying.”
“You can sleep beside me if you don’t want to go back there,” he says, his voice a mumble as his face is buried in the pillows.
Disgusted by the suggestion, Utahime looks around for a bit.
She didn’t meet her goal tonight, which is to somehow goad out an emotion or reaction from Gojo. She believed that keeping everything under wraps, including emotions, will only get you in the end. That’s why she didn’t want Gojo sulking about on his own. It would’ve been nice if he teared up a bit to her, she wouldn’t mind.
But Utahime thinks that what she did is enough. They talked, and it kept his mind off it. Maybe that’s the only thing he needs right now. Though she still feels unsure, thinking what she could offer for tonight lacked.
She’s about to head back out when she hears a soft snore.
Against her own will, she finds herself tiptoeing towards Gojo, now face up in his bed, peacefully sleeping, a snore coming out of him softly, His glasses are askew on his face, and Utahime gently removes it. She does it ever so carefully, afraid the boy will wake up.
He doesn’t.
And for a moment, Utahime takes in what’s before her. She has never seen Gojo so peaceful, though a frown is still on his forehead. She brushes a hand over it, trying to smooth it over, when suddenly Gojo’s eyes open halfway.
She takes back her hand and turns her back to Gojo, afraid he’ll tease her.
He doesn’t though, only reaching for his hand, warmth from his skin touching hers with his Infinity still off. He mumbles a word that Utahime doesn’t make out.
“What?” she asks, softly.
“You did help me. Tonight,” he mumbles like a child.
Utahime’s heart makes a traitorous leap, looking down at the face of the constant menace in her life, yet she feels great about what he just said.
“Thank you. Hime,” he says once more, then fully drifts off to sleep.
She nods softly, even though Gojo does not see it. She tucks a blanket around him.
Utahime reaches Gojo’s dorm room door and looks back at him, asleep still.
Maybe wandering around earlier is the right decision, she thinks as she closes the door behind her, ready to get some sleep of her own.