Chapter Text
‘Damnit, damnit. Goddamnit!!’
Zoro frantically whipped his head side to side as he charged through the streets of Alubarna. ‘Everything looked the same to him. How the fuck had he gotten so lost so quickly?!’ He skidded to a stop at another dead end feeling very much like a rat trapped in a maze that he’d never escape from. ‘He’d told her to run and hide for a fucking reason! These people were bad news..’
The pirate spun around and took off back through the alley, hanging a sharp left at the next street. He took only two steps before he froze. His pulse started beating loudly in his eardrums, drowning out the rest of the world.
BA-BUM. BA-BUM. BA-BUM.
Time began to pass by in slow-motion.
BA-BUM. BA-BUM. BA-BUM. BA-BUM.
Kitetsu and yubashiri were in his hands before he realized it.
BA-BUM! BA-BUM! BA-BUM! BA-BUM! BA-BUM!
He launched his body forwards with every last ounce of his strength, bellowing at the top of his lungs. “Nami, DUCK!!!”
But that half a second of hesitation was half a second too long. His pupils shrank to needlepoints as he watched Mr. One’s serrated fingers shred his crew mate’s esophagus into ribbons, frame by agonizing frame.
He screamed. And screamed. And screamed.
Time warped back to its natural speed – but what did it matter now?
Zoro caught her in the crook of his elbow as she fell backwards, gaping wide-eyed up at him. Like she had been so sure he would save her that she’d never considered the opposite a possibility.
‘No, please. Please, please.’ The swordsman pressed his hand over her neck, soaking it in red as he tried to hold the flayed flesh together and stem the bleeding.
“It’s gonna be okay, Nami.” He assured her, his voice cracking like a fault line, each word thick with emotion. “I-I’ll take you to Chopper - and he’ll fix you right up.”
Tears blanketed her eyes and made them shimmer, leaking from the corners when her eyelids couldn’t contain another drop. He collapsed onto his knees, clutching her to him as she lifted one of her hands and played with his earrings, splotching the gold with red.
“No, don’t cry.” Zoro felt his throat tie itself into a burning knot that he tried to swallow. His eyes started to sting like somebody was jabbing needles into his tear ducts. “Hey.. Look at me, Nami. Don’t close your eyes. Everything’s gonna be okay.”
Nami cupped his cheek in her bloodied palm, swiping her thumb along his skin and leaving crimson smudges behind. The golden glow in her irises grew dimmer and dimmer with each passing second.
“No, no. Don’t close your eyes.” He was begging, pleading. The entire back of his hand was drenched with her blood like he’d dipped his hand in paint. A bright red stain leaked its way down the bodice of her robe, growing larger by the second. “You have to stay awake, Nami, please. I promise I’ll keep you safe, you just have to stay with me.”
Her fingers slipped from his face and his body trembled from the very marrow of his bones. “No, Nami. Wait, please.” She gave him a watery, apologetic smile and his heart lurched into his stomach. “No, no, don’t close your eyes. Don’t go to sleep-”
A moment later her eyelids shut. Her hand splashed into the small lake of blood forming in the sand and she didn’t move it again.
Zoro felt like he was drowning in a bottomless well.
“No.. No, no, no, no,” he sobbed, clutching the back of her head and mashing his forehead against hers, “Nami, please. You can’t leave. You can’t leave me, please, please, please.” Tears spilled down his cheeks as he rocked her back and forth. The entire world felt like it was shattering around him, the scent of wet iron overwhelming all of his senses. “Wake up. Come back. Come back to me, please. I need you. I-I love y-”
A huge silver blade burst through his chest, cracking his sternum in two and cutting him off mid-word. He gasped, arching back from the impact, and cried out as it was ripped from his body as quickly as it had appeared.
He swayed a bit and then slumped forwards, grey dots cropping up at the edges of his vision. A crimson flower bloomed outwards from the center of his shirt, creeping outwards until it joined with the red staining her robe. He tightened his arms around her lifeless body.
’At least.. He could follow her to the other side.’
Then everything went black.
~•~
All of his muscles twitched violently as his eyes snapped open. He gasped for breath, struggling to remember where he was, what had happened, or how long he’d been unconscious.
‘Was that a dream? Or... A memory?’
The pirate hunter scrambled to his feet and scanned the medical ward for orange hair. Every bed was empty except the one right next to him where Luffy was sprawled out, snoring peacefully. His pulse started to thrum like a high voltage wire. ‘Where was she? Fuck-’
Zoro shouldered open one of the heavy doors and heat engulfed him like he’d walked into a kiln. The blazing sun made his head swim as he stumbled outside, barely managing to catch his balance on one of the columns that lined the walkway. Everything started spinning as fast as the thoughts that ricocheted around inside his skull.
Had he failed again? It was possible. He’d failed to defeat Mihawk. He’d failed to protect them in Little Garden, and Rainbase. Really it was only a matter of time before his failure would lead to somebody’s death.
‘Somebody that he really, really cared about.’
Tears wet his cheeks despite how hard he was trying to hold them in.
‘He was so fucking weak.’
His breath hitched and he slid to the floor when his knees suddenly gave out. He tangled his fingers into the short roots of his hair and yanked as hard as he could. ‘He was So. Fucking. Weak. Why?!’ He’d been training as hard as he could but clearly it wasn’t working. It was like nothing he did would ever make him strong enough to save his friends. Or strong enough to withstand the grief from losing them.
The pirate hunched forwards and despite his best efforts to cage them in, a series of strangled sobs escaped from his chest.
It hurt so bad. It hurt in a profound way that he couldn’t explain. Worse than being stabbed. Worse than being shot or sliced or crushed. He clawed at his shoulders, the storm raging inside of his mind consuming him completely. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t strong enough. ‘Not for this...’
Zoro was so lost in his own head that he didn’t hear the click-clack of footsteps approaching him.
‘Who was he going to lose next?’ Usopp? Chopper? Luffy? Was he cursed to lose every single person that he cared about? If staying alive meant he might have to go through this again - he would rather be dead. ‘He wanted to die-‘
“Zoro?”
Her voice swept the storm clouds away like a merciful gust of wind. He lifted his head and looked over to find their navigator standing a few feet away, her forehead furrowed in concerned confusion.
Zoro panted as he tried to catch his breath, and for half a minute he didn’t speak. He could only stare at her, bewildered but relieved. Then his voice came out in a hoarse whisper.
“You’re... Okay..?” He wet his lips and cleared his throat, following her with his eyes as she closed the distance between them. “I saw.. I thought...” When she stopped in front of him he blinked slowly, and the real memories from his fight bubbled to the surface of his mind. “I... Think I had a bad dream.”
“Yeah?” Nami bent forward and held onto his chin while she pulled her sleeve over her hand and used it to carefully dry his cheeks. “About what?”
“Mr. One.” The pirate took a deep, steadying breath and almost moaned when his crew mate stepped between his knees and started to soothingly run her fingers through his hair. “Thought I..”
He tried to recall the dream but it slipped through his fingers faster than he could remember the details. ‘Fuck, it felt so nice to be touched like this..’ Zoro hummed subconsciously, sagging a bit as the rest of his muscles stopped constricting. His eyes had closed but he wasn’t sure when. ”Thought.. I didn’t save you.”
‘Oh.’ Surprised by what he’d said, her hand paused for a moment, ‘So the other night, when he’d talked about losing her.. He’d been telling the truth?’
“I’m sorry it scared you so bad, tiger.” She carefully guided his head forwards until the side of his face was resting against her lower belly. Her crew mate turned his whole body towards her as he wound his arms tightly around her thighs, his shoulders rising and falling with another deep breath.
He was too tired to lie about how frightened he’d been. Besides, he’d been yearning for her affection ever since they’d crossed the Redline. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, touch her. ‘He.. Wanted to love her.’
A wave of anxiety overtook him, but he wasn’t sure if it was from more fear or anticipation. Because he loved her. Didn’t he?
Zoro buried his face in her stomach, tightening his grip on her legs.
If he didn’t love her, why would he get hysterical over a stupid dream where she’d been killed? Why would he feel such serenity every time he was alone with her?
Nothing else made sense. He loved Nami, the same way he loved Luffy, with the entirety of his heart and soul. And realizing the depths of his feelings for her terrified him more than the threat of the full force of the navy.
Nami smoothed her fingertips across his scalp and down to the back of his neck, repeating it over and over. His skin looked sticky from sweat, and earlier she’d noticed his eyes were red and swollen. 'He must be exhausted..’ It would be cruel to send him off on his own after a breakdown like this, wouldn’t it?
“Zoro..” she wondered aloud, hoping he wouldn’t take what she was about to offer in the wrong way, “I was on my way to take a bath. Do you... Want to come with me?”
'What?’ Zoro tilted his head down so his voice wouldn’t be muffled by her robe. “Take a bath.. With you?”
“Yeah. It might be nice.”
He felt feverish. What was she playing at? “Are you trying to trick me?”
“No,” she sighed patiently, “I just... Thought it might help you feel better. That’s all.”
“You’d be naked.”
“I know, idiot.”
“You wouldn’t beat my ass like the pervert cook?”
“That’s different, Zoro. And besides.. I trust you.”
‘Well now he felt smug as fuck.' Zoro paused for several more seconds, mulling it over, then muttered, "Okay, fine.”
She laughed more fully this time and tousled his hair affectionately. “Don’t sound so enthusiastic.”
He rested his chin on her stomach and glared up at her. “You better not con me.”
“I won’t as long as you behave.” Nami smirked and flicked his nose, a short thrill shooting up and down her spine when he snapped his teeth at her finger.
His glare deepened and he let go of her legs, rising to his feet. “I’m not a dog, Nami.” Yet he followed her obediently when she grabbed his hand and led him through the palace to a small bathing chamber he’d never seen before.