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"I know I shouldn't, you told me not to, but I cant help but miss you."
The blush of a planet's soul. Golden hues gently paint the overgrown fields of swaying grass and wildflowers. This field was isolated, away from the blooming orchards and forests that surrounded it. The sky; an aria of pinks and oranges, drowning out the earlier blue melody. It was much cooler now, the heat of the day calming to a soothing cool.
This was always his favorite spot, you could see why now.
You sat underneath the only tree in the field, the overgrown grass brushing up against the sides of your legs. Your elbows dug into the tops of your knees, palms holding up your head, staring at the carvings on the wood. His name.
The ache still sat heavy on your heart, it wouldn't lift. Wildflowers grown around the tree, you couldn't bring yourself to cut them down. He wouldn't of wanted that anyways. You kept one thing cleared though; a glass box where his red bandana laid gently folded and a flimsi photo.
Maybe it was the photo that made your heart ache more. It was of your wedding day and the love on his face was still etched into your memory. His brothers and sister were the ones who planned a lot of it, but he had one say of where he wanted it to take place; under this damned tree. You didn't care really, you just wanted to be with him.
Omega was the one who picked your wedding dress. It was nothing spectacular, you weren't rich like the planet's senators and lived off of the money from your fruit's harvest, but you had fallen in love with it too. She had a way with things like that somehow. It hung in the back of your wooden wardrobe now, untouched.
His brothers, mostly Wrecker and Echo, drug out chairs from your house to the field that day, none of which matched. They all wore simple civie clothes, button ups and cleaned slacks, pitching in to help Hunter get the better wear. Crosshair had ended up being the one to hand you off then and you genuinely thought Hunter wouldn't be a blubbery mess.
You were completely wrong.
He sniffled and whispered loving words the entire ceremony, gently rubbing his coarse thumb over your knuckles, refusing to let go of your hands. At some point, Crosshair had told Tech to 'get to the point' and everyone groaned in agreement, tired of listening to Tech's rambling about stuff you had tuned out. Your focus was on the man in front of you, the man who kept the flame in your soul burning brighter than the stars above.
A sigh left your beginning-to-chap lips. Taking your hand out from underneath your head, you brought up your left hand. The ring was simple yet so charming; a thin gold band with a single ruby colored gem in the center. He refused to tell you where he got it but you eventually got the answer out of Omega through bribery. An elderly lady had given it to him on Naboo, claiming that a pretty man like him must have a pretty woman to go home to.
The thought of how that conversation went made you chuckle lightly.
Smiling fondly, you leaned back and let your legs stretch out forward, your palms now digging into the folded grass. The scent of the nearby orchard filled your nostrils as you deeply inhaled. Letting your arms falter, your back hit the ground as you stared at the planet's blush above.
"When do you have to leave again?"
"Relax mesh'la." His sigh came from his chest.
The heat of the day was long gone, the skies painted purple and orange. A picked through basket had been tossed by the base of the grand tree, it's spring leaves blooming above in lively shades of green. Torn wildflowers littered the beige sheet from earlier attempts of making flower crowns that had all failed. Hunter had tucked a newly bloomed flower behind your ear instead.
The hues of the sky above melted on top of bare skin. Clothes were long forgotten in earlier acts of pleasure, tossed away in the long grass and gone. You laid partially against his bare chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart as he gently caressed your waist, his other hand under his head as he watched the sky with a smile.
Flipping yourself up, you felt the soft breeze nip at your bare skin for a moment. Hunter's gaze moved from the sky to you and all the love in the universe seemed to melt in his soul like candle wax. So warm, so knowing. The golden essence of the air and the way it graced your features only made this feeling grow more.
The universe had poured all it's light into you, he thought.
A smile appeared on your lips as you stared at your lover from above. His chest decorated with evidence of the war but most were old and faded, only a few shallow scars from the current rebellion efforts remaining. His dark and thick hair was sprawled out on the blanket below. He still wore his bandana, despite missing the rest of his clothing.
You reached out and ran your fingers through his hair and he ever so slightly leaned into your touch.
"You know," He began, his voice honeyed. "You are the most beautiful being in the universe."
A blush spread across your cheeks as you shook your head at his loving words.
"You're ridiculous." You smiled.
"I only speak the truth."
Hunter's hand reached up from your waist and cupped your cheek, his touch so gentle and thoughtful. His coarse thumb grazed the height of your cheekbone and he swore he fell more in love with every passing second. You melted into his touch, your own hand leaving his hair to meet the one against your skin. He smiled.
"You really are." He whispered, the words nearly lost in the wind.
A sigh left you as you squeezed the top of his hand. Your earlier question still burned on your mind and it created a gentle ache on your heart. You wanted nothing more than to bask in this for the rest of your time. Hunter seemed to catch onto your running thoughts before they could turn into a sprint and he slightly sat up from his laying position.
"Mesh'la.." His gaze softened. "You have nothing to worry about."
You tried a smile but it faltered, along with your gaze from him. Your eyes landed on the house, the small cottage that you made into a home not too long ago. It wasn't big but it had enough room for you, Hunter and his siblings. It would get slightly crowded if they stayed weeks at a time, but those instances were far and few between. Otherwise, the house would be decently empty aside from you and Hunter, and a part of you wished to fill that space.
"Wo-" Your sentence got cut short before you could even finish the first word.
"Please stay." You whispered instead, you'd have to bring that topic up another time.
Hunter now sat up to where his face was level with yours. His eyes wandered around your face, the sun's golden light illuminating it softer than before. The breeze had picked up enough for your hair to gently sway in it. Bringing his hand up to your cheek, he cupped your face and brought his to hit, his lips softly against your own. His heart fluttered.
A smile graced your lips as he pulled away slowly and brought his forehead to yours.
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
Your heart sunk heavy for some reason. The world felt too quiet, an unsettling stiffness in the air. The skies seemed to agree, grey clouds rolling over the horizon, a sign for later weeping from above. Maybe it was your own anxieties getting to you, it was an often occurrence.
Dozens of crates of freshly picked fruit were stacked outside. You had gone back inside to change out of your heavily scented and dirtied clothing into something you took off the clothing line outside that morning. The air inside was welcoming, the smell of fruit cooking in sweetened liquid blessing your nostrils. Normally the sweet scent would rub any and all worries off.
It only made the feeling worse.
The wooden stairs creaked and groaned under your feet. The bedroom was darker than usual, the clouds covering the sunlight that would normally pour in. A single bed had been pushed against the wall across from the stairs that led into the room, the white sheets neatly tucked into the wooden frame. Beside it stood an old nightstand, one you had painted over in attempt to revive it. Wilted flowers sat on the table, some wildflowers Hunter had picked before he had left.
Before you could peel the first layer of sweat crusted clothing off, your head snapped up to the sound of a ship landing. Dropping the clean clothing onto the floor, you barreled down the old stairs, not bothering to put shoes on as you ran outside.
The ship lowered achingly slow and something stirred inside of you.
You knew something was wrong when Wrecker didn't come flying down the ship to pull you into a bone-crushing hug. You knew when Omega didn't come in after him with arms flailed out for you to pick her up and spin her around. Crosshair didn't give you a nod and Tech didn't ask about your harvest.
You knew what had happened when Echo walked down the ship's ramp alone, a familiar red bandana in hand.
A giggle filled the air. Pushing yourself up from the ground, you turned your head and found a bob of dark locks running towards you through the tall grass. The head of hair ran fast, nearly tripping over themselves a few times. Rolling over, you knelt on the ground and opened your arms and the small body collided into your own.
A smile appeared on your lips as you pulled the small child out from your embrace. She was nearly seven now, her age caused an ache in your heart, both from her growing up so fast and that you had been without him for seven years. She was strikingly similar to him, her hair thick and dark like his own and her skin the same complexion as his. The only thing you could really see of yourself in her was her eyes.
Her cheeks were flushed from running and laughter. Her laughter was constant, it somehow worsened whenever Wrecker or Crosshair were around. Wrecker, you understood, the gentle giant was a goofball with her. But Crosshair? You had yet to figure that out.
"What are you doing?" She asked, peering over your shoulder.
Sitting down into your heels, you turned around and patted the ground beside you and she happily sat criss-crossed. Her eyes wandered the grand tree, the same gleaming fascination in her eyes as her father's. Taking her small hand, you gave it a squeeze in reassurance, more for yourself than her.
"I'm just talkin' to my cyar'ika." You smiled, looking back to the carving in the tree. A longing smile graced your lips.
"Uncle Techie told me what that means!" She boasted. "It means.." She paused in thought, her brain rummaging for the answer. "It means darling!"
"Very good." You praised.
"Do you think I'll have one?" She questioned with a head tilted towards you.
Your eyes widened slightly before a laugh left you, shaking your head at your daughter's words.
"Why don't you ask Uncle Cross how he feels about that." You say, motioning your head towards the house where all her uncles and aunt were. Her eyes lit up at his name and she immediately stood, taking off in the direction she came with laughter erupting from her chest. Her wild hair flew behind her as she sprinted towards the cottage.
A figure stood a few feet from you, hesitant. You sigh and give a nod toward Omega and she slowly sits beside you, knees curled up to her chest. Her usually braided hair instead laid down her back, she had grown out her shorter blonde hair over the years. She wore the same colors as her brothers, accompanying them wherever the galaxy drifted them to.
You knew Hunter's absence was hard on her, you weren't selfish on your feelings of grief. It was still a sensitive topic for you all, one that brought up unwanted emotions in everyone. It caused fights and heartache and at moments it tore everyone away from each other as guilt and grief blinded decisions. It took you almost a year for you to contact his siblings after his passing, and when they had discovered that you had a child in the time, mistrust and anger came from all but Echo.
It took Omega the longest time to be herself again though, if she was still the person she was before.
"You know." You began, your eyes set on the clear box in front of you. You could feel tears well in the bottom of your waterline and your throat swell. "He would be very proud of you."
"No he wouldn't." She mumbled as she ripped another blade of grass up from the ground.
"He would." You insisted in a whisper.
"She looks a lot like him." Omega states, changing the uncomfortable subject.
You agree in a mumble.
"I don't blame you." You started. "Hunter wouldn't blame you either."
Omega stayed silent and her pulling of grass halted. You watched as different emotions ran across her face, hurt always stayed the longest. Standing from where you sat, you carefully picked up the glass box that sat at the bottom of the tree. The well of tears began to spill, the ache of grief squeezing your chest tight. Taking in a long and hard breath, you opened the glass box and took the folded fabric out.
The fabric alone made your fingers tingle. Warm tears ran down your cheeks, each new one following after the last. The fabric was beyond heavy in your hands. Closing your eyes to gather your thoughts, you closed the glass box again and turned around to the curled up girl behind you.
"He-," You hiccuped, the lump in your throat growing larger with each passing second. "He would want you to have this."
Omega looked up from the ground, a clear stream of hot tears running down from her honey colored eyes. Your face softened as you held your composure as best as you could, unable to keep your own tears from falling. Squatting in front of her, you shakily reached your hand up and brushed a stray curl from her face, a sad smile gracing your lips.
Taking her hand in your own, you gently flipped it over and placed the folded fabric into her hand. A half-held back sob left her throat as her long fingers wrapped around the bandana. Before you could breathe, a pair of arms wrapped around you in a desperate embrace. Taking the younger girl in your arms, your hand soothed her back as she cried into your chest, your own hot tears falling down your face.
"I'm so sorry." She sobbed.
You could only hold her tighter.
"I've never blamed you, 'Mega." You soothe. "I never have."
"I don't wan't to lose you too." She confesses in a blubbery string of words
Her head lifts from your chest as she looked up to you, sniffling with a quivering lip. Smiling down to her, you carefully take the folded fabric from her and bring it up under her curly hair, tying it the same way Hunter meticulously did. As you tightened the fabric around her head, you took her into your embrace again with the ache in your heart lifting ever so gently.
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."