Archive of Our Own

Sometimes Nayeon thinks that this isn't what she really wants. But to answer why she's at the backseat of a stranger's car, having hot steamy sex, parked on the side of an empty hill, she can't give you an answer to that. 

Maybe she's too intoxicated to care. She, too was distracted by a small Malcolm Liepke booklet she saw on her dashboard.

Her taste.

The fright had left her system the moment the stranger's fingers started caressing her inner thighs. There had been moments where she could run away but she didn't. The stranger looked like she couldn't hurt a fly anyway. 

And so is Ted Bundy,

Said the logical part of her brain, that's what the undrunk part of her brain told her. 

She dismissed the thought when the stranger's mouth had reached her lobe and she moaned dangerously low when the tip of her tongue touch her skin. She was told she could scream because

'no one could hear you here' 

and 

'the louder the better'. 

So Nayeon did. 

So Nayeon did as what she was told. She lost all of her back bone in one single day. All the back bone she was told that she should have. By her friends, by her parents and social media. She was told that she should be deciding. But tonight, she'll maybe let it pass as sweet sweat roll off of her chest to her ribs. 

The smell of the car is intoxicating. Just like the smell of this other girl. She smells like Chanel no. 5. Her car smells like wood and coffee and ice. She tried to grind into her, into her thighs, to her core. Her pants damp of lust and driven by the now steamy air circulating the whole of the car.

She tried to focus on her long, black, wavy hair but she gets distracted by cars that are sometimes passing by. The stranger would take her by her shirt's collar and kiss her with so much need and she would hover on top of her, black hair flooding her face, her hands cupping her breasts from her shirt. 

The softness dizzying her high as she falls back up again. And she would hear her, too. Strangled words escaping her mouth. Cursing whoever.

Grinding to nothing, hands on hips, dipping into her own. 

How both their pants ended up crumpled on the car's floorboard she had no idea.

Nayeon never had anything like this. Her brain had been constantly telling her how the cars is not tinted enough for their privacy but for some reason, it added fuel to her fire. The stranger looks at her too as if she knows she's her prey. And it brings a certain pumping inside her chest that she couldn't explain. She felt her core throbbing, and she had only met her once. 

Nayeon thought how she is stuck up with a pretty girl. But she remembered, it was her horny call who initiated the fucking. Her drunken state, the stranger's cocky smile and her slightly unbuttoned university clothes.

When the stranger turned the radio on and played something new to her ears, she knew it's going to regret everything by tomorrow. If there is still life out of her, that is. She knew she'd be welcomed by a headache she'd drink off to some foreign medicine. She knew she'd have to get up and buy it herself from a convenient store and maybe get some decent semi-ramen from there too. 

When the stranger came on top of her, Nayeon felt alive for the first time in a long time and she looks up at her and tried to remember that face. Moles. A whole fucking constellation of it. She tried to lean onto her, hold her entire state as she slowly go down from her high, pulling her face close for a kiss.

Soft, pepper kisses. 

Soft, dangerously soft.

Hot and sweet. 

She tastes like strawberries. I'm so high.

Then she came, too. 

In a blissful matter of seconds after the stranger in front of her. Nayeon bit her own lips, with held onto her crushing her shoulders as she came. Her mouth filled her lips with lust, biting, nipping on the woman's bottom lip. And she kissed her back and held her so tight, pulling her closer for pleasure. 

Nayeon felt spent below her body. Steady breaths leaving them both. 

Nayeon slightly smirked at the sight of messy hair of a woman who isn't moving. Just a strangled breathing and moans she's letting out from the orgasm that shook her center. A smirk sneakily plastered on her proud face. 

Nayeon really doesn't want to be the first to speak when it comes to this but the sight was hot and the other girl seems to have no signs of leaving her lap.

"Hot," 

"I know."

*******************

When Nayeon went to crash a birthday party of an old friend, Sana, she met her again. And this time, she may actually be lucky because at least maybe she's getting a name. So she asked.

"Name. What's your name," Nayeon begged when she placed the stranger carefully on top of the silk bed mattress, kissing her neck, slightly dragging her tongue and teeth into her collarbone to her shoulders, leaving traces of adoration through her skin. 

Nayeon felt the other girl stiffen and grabbed her by her leather jacket, crashing their lips together in a steamy kiss they both shared the first night together from 6 months ago. 

She gave her attention.

When the girl leant in and pulled her in, into her chest, she spent time nipping them both. Took her time touching them both until the stranger pushed her towards her center. There is no doubt in Nayeon's head that having sex with this woman is definitely one of the things that she will never regret in her entire college life.

And the woman came undone.

She hissed through her teeth, breathing through Nayeon's ear.

Nayeon took her mouth once more. She held the stranger tighter by the waist and held her neck securely as she placed sloppy, hungry kisses. Like the first time, she hovered on top of Nayeon and Nayeon finds it extremely hot and liberating, to have this stranger take control of her. She felt the stranger slightly touching the sensitive part of her breasts. Nayeon's head and chest is exploding with panic as somebody might walk up to them in this state. But she couldn't care less now. The fear of getting caught, gets her everytime. 

When Nayeon felt that she's drenched in her center she knew she had to ask for it or else. 

"My place?" 

"Near?"

"Yes."

Nayeon was glad she always has her car blindingly clean and smelling like an after shower at 4 a.m. Not that she cares about the thought so much. Not that it matters. But she knew women. Women remembers women with nice cars and good music. Nayeon always makes sure that she puts in an extra effort.

The car drive on the way home was a grueling as the stranger kept on staring at her as if she's ready to take her in right there and then. It doesn't help that her hand is on her thigh. Warm and extremely close breaking her.

In 10 minutes, she'd been fumbling on her apartment keys, while kissing the girl hungrily by the minute. She thought that maybe she couldn't last but she can't be that weak, can she?

She tried to remind herself that she is Im Nayeon. As cliche as it sounds. She is the Im Nayeon. Reputations are delusional. But she likes the attention. When they got in, she kicked and locked the door, carefully laying the girl on the couch, unbuttoning her dress while she try to not leave her lips. 

It's dizzying and Nayeon felt the urge to tell her how it was so soft and plump and had been trying her best not to bite deeply into it though she might've maybe bruised it a few times or two already. 

But she'd gladly sip on it and maybe by now it tastes like crimson sky. 

She can see that other girl had eyes she couldn't read. And it confuses her because she also knows exactly when she's coming. And she knows exactly where to touch. And it felt like Nayeon knows her all too well, too. And Nayeon can trace her body and she could tell which path to take. She knows the short cuts and the whole forest of lust if she wanted to. It's insane how this is different from the rest but Nayeon doesn't want to indulge on the idea. It's a risk street and it's a dead end.

Like the first time, but now with little to no alcohol, the stranger hovered on top of her. And she let's her gain that control, again. First, at the backseat. And right now, inside her own apartment. On her own couch, inside her living room. Nayeon thought that maybe she deserves a name. She had been nice after all. But maybe she'll ask it again. She had to make her roll her eyes, forget her name, but that defeats the purpose. Nayeon smiled at the thought. 

The girl rides on top of her, her fingers felt the heat radiating from her body, her senses doubled at the sight of her closed eyes, of her tangled, black, messy hair, of the pale dimmed lights of her own place giving justice to all her curves.

When she calmed down, she places small kisses, almost pecks on Nayeon's face until she got hold of her lower lips and nibbed on it with so much desire, tasting her all. She removed Nayeon's leather jacket. She removed the plain white shirt off and tries to unbuckle her belt without separating their lips. 

Nayeon lets her do whatever she wants.

The older girl felt the urge to come right then and there. The woman in front of her right now seems to make it so easy to do and Nayeon felt so out of balance. So out of trance. So unlikely of her. 

She tries to tell herself that it isn't hard, especially when the person on top of her is smooth as hell, smells fucking expensive and is moist under her touch. Suddenly it's kind of hard to breathe. 

When the stranger knelt down on the carpeted floor, Nayeon knows what to do. And she came too hard that night. So many times, too. They lay down on the couch in a tangled mess and when the clock reaches 5, Nayeon felt something shifting and the next thing she knew is that the sun is so high up, she's alone on her couch with a comforter placed on top her, her core throbbing with a familiar pain. The memory of last night fresh from her memory. And she had to satisfy this insane longing of hands on her body before she went in for a shower. 

Coming again for the nth time that day. 

Insane. Nayeon thought.

Insane.

***************

Nayeon had been on a debate whether she'd ask Sana for her name. But she didn't want to burst the bubble of mystery and she wants to somehow keep it for herself. For now at least. And she knows Sana. She'll never get peace just by asking. But she'll get annoying phone calls from her probably about how she's obsessing on her friend.

Nayeon wanted to laugh at the thought. 

But then again Nayeon doesn't want to be so hard on herself and tells her brain that it isn't impossible. Because the girl is insanely pretty. And she doesn't want to go through the whole book of it. She just knows. She thought that maybe that's okay for now.

She knows somehow their paths would cross again. At the back of Nayeon's head it was a probability, the greater part of her says she hopes so. She cannot pretend to walk around her university campus and not see her face in the crowd. A part of her doesn't care. A part of her says she'll meet more pretty girls like her, too.

A part of her kind of hopes. 

Hope is a wrecker.

Nayeon thought of going back to the same bar she met her. But a more logical part of her brain is telling her that this isn't for the chasing. This is for the greater part of serendipity playing. 

She decides she'll let the universe roll the dice.

**************

Three years went by and surprisingly so, 

the universe did roll the dice.

And when it did, Nayeon was on her way to the art show her friend Sana is curating. The intensity of the freezing weather outside made her wear leather gloves and scoop herself up in a casual leather trench coat hugging her curves, warming her skin. 

When she entered the crowded art gallery, she immediately saw Sana talking to clients, a booklet and a wine glass in hand. She gave her a small wave, gesturing she'll walk around the gallery instead. Her friend nodded signaling she'll get back to her after the sell.

An assistant noticed her and approached her with a glass of wine and a booklet of the event, too. 

She stood smiling near the entrance while flipping the mini booklet. Her eyes beaming with pride.

"UNNIE!"

Nayeon's head quickly turned to where the voice is from. She knew that voice. It was from Chaeyoung. A co-artist and an especially close friend from the same firm where she used to work for. She was greeted by a warm, long hug. The shorter girl rubbing her arms for friction. Probably because of the cold. Her eyes never leaving hers. 

"I knew you'd come!" Chae squealed. Pink hair uncombed, wearing a sap green cardigan on top of an ochre shirt and a maxi dress. 

Her boots mismatching in pale neon colours she probably designed herself. 

"Of course! I wouldn't miss your solo exhibit," Nayeon exclaimed trying to soften her voice to avoid getting attention when the buyers start to notice their muster.

"Honestly it was your work that inspired me to do this," she admitted, taking pride of her admiration towards her older friend. 

"You're amazing yourself, Chae. I always saw this coming. I'm so proud of you," Nayeon admitted in all honesty.

Chaeyoung smiled at her, eyes beaming with excitement and pride.

"Come with me, I'll show you around. Sana's been busy, I can't even talk to her since 9 a.m today," 

Nayeon gave out a hearty laugh.

The two trailed the small room excusing themselves from the gathering crowd inside the small gallery until they reached a canvas plastered carefully on a wall, lights dimming the material in a soft bluish hue. That's when Nayeon noticed the line of canvases all throughout the white halls of the gallery adoring each corner with colours only Chae can produce.

The paintings definitely caught Nayeon's attention. As an art enthusiast, she could already tell how tonight is going to be successful for Chae. 

She took pride in her works while scrutinizing each and every material, walking past each of them, her eyes trailing the lines of her canvas, trailing the traces of pencil sketches, of smallest textures. Her professional persona becoming more evident in every canvas she walks pass by.

Nayeon trailed closely while Chae, wallowed in her all her reactions. When the crowd got tighter, Nayeon knew it's where people pile up. She tried to get smoothly as possible to the painting gaining the crowd's attention.

It was a woman. Lying on her stomach, on a couch, holding a book. Her behind covered only by a thin silk material that falls to her feet. She has seen this face before. She tries to remember where. 

"New muse?" She asked her friend who was following closely behind.

"An old friend from college," Chae revealed. 

"She's so great to work with. Her work ethics, her style. She's very professional. And look at her," Chae prided gesturing on the painting.

"She looks---"

"Familiar."

It was the last thing Chaeyoung was expecting but she didn't say anything but she nodded her head in agreement. Not bothering to ask, too.

"She said she'll be here. I'll let you two meet."

The painting has a modern touch, the colors of crimson and ultramarine and white is not within the lines. The brush strokes are unkempt, derailed and  slow. Chaeyoung really gave her all to this day. Nayeon thought it was an amazing work from her friend. It was evident from her face that she is honestly impressed with the artist's work.

She thought she deserved the solo exhibit long ago but was delayed due to her own personal reasons which Sana gladly accepted and understand.

"Unnie, I'll get back to you. I saw Ms. Chou arrived. She's a big fish," Chae shot her a lopsided wink, and gave her a quick kiss on her cheeks.

It was then that she noticed that the theme was the same girl from the same canvas. Her hair long and black and wavy. Her body is tempting tease, plastered all over the halls for everyone's eyes to see. Her eyes seem to have a rhythm that doesn't dance. Her moles on her face are so prominent, Nayeon swore she's seen them someplace else. 

But where.

"Her face is so---" Nayeon paused not really knowing what to say or who to say it to. She realized she was talking out loud. A man beside her smiled. 

"She's intriguing isn't she?" boasting a thick French accent.

"It's as if she never looks at you," Nayeon whispering to herself. Ignoring the conversation the guy is trying to start.

"She is now," 

Nayeon's head turned around in a haste when she heard the unfamiliar female voice behind her.

When their eyes met, the paintings that convene each corner of the gallery came to life. Now her eyes are hazel and smiling 

and suddenly...- shocked.

Her hair.

Her moles. 

Are you fucking kidding me?

The woman on the painting, her brows are now creased, the peace and calm on the canvas is now confused and baffled and questioning.

Nayeon could almost see what going on inside her head. 

As if all her expressions betray her.

When Nayeon last saw the girl, she could vaguely remember what she wore. Mostly because most of the time she wasn't wearing any. The night too, was fast and her mind was filled with haze and alcohol and youth.

But she remembered quite well that she brought her home that night and woke up without her in the morning.

That was three years ago.

Looking at her right now seems like a glitch time and space continuum. 

God, that face. 

And that body didn't change as much, too even beneath all those pile of clothes.

That's why the naked woman in those painting looks familiar.

But tonight she wears an oversized coat, an expensive looking scarf and low cut boots. Her cheeks red from the cold. Her hair, straight unlike the paintings.

She still looks expensive and elegant, she hasn't even spoken yet, Nayeon mused.

It was her all these time and it made Nayeon smile in disbelief.

Nayeon never believes in chances and serendipities but this is off the book, as if the universe is testing her. As if all the path she takes, at one point, would be another intersection in where they meet. They were never parallel lines. Their timelines brush off quite subtly in it's own way. She has never met anyone in her life before with this kind of chance. She almost finds it funny.

Her eyes never left her. They stood grounded and frozen for what felt forever, when they both heard Chaeyoung's voice. 

"Unnie, it seems like you've met my muse, Mina,"

Chae introduced.

"Mina, meet Nayeon. She's my mentor. She's the art gallery owner I was telling you about,"

Nayeon realized that Mina was obviously taken aback with the sudden realization that hit her. She knows she saw it, too. She knows there had been sudden flashbacks of yesterday the way Mina's eyes suddenly went from adoringly pure to lustful and hooded and dark all in front of their common friend.

Nayeon offered her hands first, smiled awkwardly. But Mina took them and squeezed as if relaying a message to Nayeon telling her that she knows and she remembers. Mina subtly nodded, letting go of her hand in a haste.

No words were ever exchanged. 

Chae must've noticed the awkward interaction but she lets it pass offering them both another glass of wine as she walk them through the other art pieces.

The two followed suit avoiding each other's skin.

When the night died down and the event ended, it was a successful wrap. Sana, although exhausted, invited them over to her house for a drink to celebrate the success of the exhibit in which the three unanimously agreed on. 

Nayeon kind of hoped Mina would stay the night, too so she was glad when she joined in. 

A little talk wouldn't hurt.

Nayeon had been waiting for the right timing to open a small chat with Mina. It shouldn't be that hard. But the muse is making it hard. She had been so distant and unaccommodating. When Nayeon is in the same proximity, she'll make sure she's in another room.

Nayeon found it underwhelming and confusing.

When they arrived at Sana's house, they kept it civil. 

But Nayeon had her chance to talk. When Sana and Chae had been busy with preparing dinner, she took her chance with Mina when she saw her in the balcony.

"Fancy seeing you here," Nayeon began, resting her arms on the metal rails, carefully giving ample space of more than an arm's length away.

Mina was leaning on a post, holding a phone in her hand sideways.

Was she playing?

"I could say the same to you," she said putting down the phone and placing it in her pocket.

At last. A word from the queen.

"So you pose for Chae huh,"

"For that exhibit, yes," Mina answered, eyes smiling.

"That's amazing. Turns out really good," Nayeon didn't really want to dig into details or ask too much information. She didn't want to annoy her when it's technically the first time they're having a real conversation instead of just eating each other's face off.

It was obvious that Mina only wanted small talk anyway.

The younger girl bobbed her head to look at her. Her eyelids soft in her gaze, bags under her eyes screams that maybe she didn't have a good night's sleep and today had been extremely busy.

"Thank you," she whispered. Eyes sparkling from the light coming from the nearby lamp post.

Now Nayeon felt guilty for pushing with the small talk. Mina looks like she needed to rest. 

"Where's your gallery?" Mina asked lighting a cigarette and offering one to Nayeon which the other gladly accepted. The younger one lighting it for her, carefully  placing her hands to block the cold, harsh wind.  

"Just a few blocks from here. I held an event two weeks ago,"

When Nayeon mentioned the name of the gallery, Mina mused that she heard it before. And wrote about it before.

"The one from the Metro? That's you?"

Mina smiled, looking far, exhaling her smoke. The Seoul wind evident in her skin.

Nayeon saw Sana arriving with a bottle of wine and Chaeyoung strutting behind her with glasses in hand.

The night ended with them just talking about their next project. A bit tipsy from the wine but not too much to go home. When they bid goodbye, Chae grabbed a cab first. Sana said she can no longer stand.

Nayeon was left with Mina in front of their friend's apartment.

"Can I drive you home?" she offered.

"Funny, you didn't offer the same for Chae," Mina stated her hands digging deeper into the pockets of her coat. Her scarf covering half of her face. Challenging her with the question.

"I have cruel intensions," Nayeon retorted. Giggling in the process as she hugged her coat closer, blowing off some steam. She knew that when she starts this teasing there's no turning back. And when Mina smiled back, she knows the night is leaning to her favor. 

"Is your gallery near?"

"Do you want to go?"

"I can see your work,"

"Nice, good. My secretary left already but I have the keys--

--You're invested in paintings too?"

"Yes, but tonight, maybe mostly in you," 

Mina seemed to look right through her. 

Nayeon never knew but her chest constricted with familiarity. Like the first time she saw her three years ago. Like a youthful longing of an 22 year old. But an honest conviction of a 25 year old woman. She knew she can snap her fingers anytime and lead where the night is going. She has done it too many times too. 

But Mina looks so soft under the gleaming moonlight, her breathing is steady.

Mine is not.

They arrived at the gallery a few blocks away from Nayeon's house. The exterior boasting a two-floor establishment, name hanging on a well-lit calligraphy Nayeon had chosen for herself. 

She had been fumbling on her bag while Mina waits patiently behind her. Hugging herself from the freezing cold of the night in such a familiar sight. 

The only difference that night was the weather.

It was a scorching hot summer in Seoul back then.

Funny.

When Nayeon realized that it'll take her a while, because she forgot the keys in the car, she lend Mina her coat, putting it over on top of her head, squeezing her cheeks in the thick material before running back to her vehicle.

She never saw the awkward blush that crept up Mina's face.

When Nayeon successfully opened the door, she turned the lights on, revealing a huge loft with an industrial interior filled with canvases hanging on the walls. Some are wrapped in thick bubble wraps, some are still in a box lying on the floor. A few wooden and metal sculptures of what seemed to be like human bodies are plastered around the area, contrasting the canvases on the wall. Nayeon gestured Mina to come in and offered to remove her coat. The place is definitely bigger than the art gallery they went to. 

Cozier and spacey.

Mina was obviously amazed by the number of paintings that graces her sight. She dissected them one by one looking at each and every line at every detail while Nayeon let her, followed her, observed her quietly as she wander on every wall and every corner. She saw important names in the local art industry, some she knows by face and some by their works. 

Mina took time looking at a painting of a woman in a red dress looking straight at her. When she saw the signature, she turned to face Nayeon.

"This is good. You're good," 

Nayeon smiled at the younger woman in front of her, her eyes filled with pride.

"I'm impressed. Where do you usually work?"

"I have a studio at the back. Sometimes I prefer to work at home when my mind is at ease," Nayeon admitted.

"Show me?"

Nayeon walked towards a room with a two-way mirror, huge enough to cover the front wall. Inside was a single bed with white linen sheets. The only white in the room full of flat, gray, concrete. A red clock is placed on the wall. She knows there are questions bubbling inside the other girl's head right now and she's just waiting for a--

"Why?"

Nayeon is waiting for a "why".

She can't help but smile. 

"You want to be seen when painting or--?"

But Mina stopped mid-sentence when she realized that the materials were outside the small room. The barstool, the easel, the canvas. Everything.

"Oh,"

"Yeah,"

"So the models can see themselves while I paint them-- without me in the picture. Without me distracting their own work of art,"

"Oh," was all the left Mina's mouth. 

Her fingers trailing the easel outside the room. Her eyes fixed on the old and used oil paintings carefully placed inside an open, wooden box, sitting idly beside the bottles of thinners, linseed oils and turpentines.

The silence was deafening. Nayeon lost all her train of thoughts. She was too focused on what Mina was thinking. Does she find her gallery interesting? Is it nice for her liking? Will this pass her standards?

Does she want to pose for her, too?

Do you want to pose for me, too?

It even sounded pleading in Nayeon's head.

Mina was silent for a moment, opening the door of the small room, she entered it quietly and sat on the soft mattress. 

Nayeon didn't follow. She was observing her from the two-way mirror, sitting down quietly on her barstool. 

"This is how I get the girls," she said smiling, lifting the silence off of the air. 

Mina smiled, too upon hearing Nayeon's antics from the outside.

"Obviously," Mina said lying down on the thick mattress stretching her arms out.

"Oh this feels so good, I could sleep here," 

Nayeon didn't answer. She saw as Mina closed her eyes, smiling to herself probably while enjoying the comfort of the displaced bed inside the small studio.

And Nayeon took her time. Her eyes wandered to Mina's face, to the evident moles in her face that she always notices. To her hair, silky through the dimmed lights, scattered messy and tangled on the bed.

Her eyes went down to her body, guiltily remembering how she was able to touch it and how she was able to get those reactions from the woman before her. Nayeon remembered it all too well. It's a gift and a curse to be able to recall a memory of those two nights they shared.

As of now, it's more like a curse.

Because Nayeon's breathing is labored and it's not helping that the other girl inside the room has no freaking idea what's inside her head.

It's a curse. And Nayeon has to let the sinful thoughts go.

But her eyes traveled down to Mina's hips, and how she remembered how toned it was underneath. And how smooth her hands glided down to her--

"Are you looking for a model?"

Nayeon's thoughts were excruciatingly interrupted by the question. 

Her mind went blank for a second before she realized what Mina was asking.

"We're --

--we, I, no, not for now," Nayeon admitted. Stuttering at every word. 

She saw Mina nodded, sitting up from the bed looking at her reflection on the mirror. 

Maybe looking through her at the mirror.

Maybe. 

Until Nayeon really saw her looking at her, directly through her eyes, never leaving her stare. She can't read Mina's eyes. Not now, not before. It's always been a mystery. She always is.

Nayeon had to swallow all her anxiety down, her internal panic is getting out of place. Her heart is on her throat for no reason at all.

I shouldn't be staring as much. Fuck it.

"Nayeon,"

Nayeon swore it was the wind. Or maybe it was her head calling her now. If shes didn't see Mina's lips move she'd assume she's getting crazy.

Mina whispered it too softly it barely fell from her mouth.

"Can I pose for you?" The writer asked searching for her eyes from the two-way mirror, pretending she can see Nayeon from the other side.

That's it. She let out all the air that filled her lungs she didn't even know she's been holding it for so long. 

And it must be the cold, cold night too. But Nayeon's hands started to sweat. She realized her trench coat and Mina's are both carefully tucked on the receiving area's table and she is just left with a black, long-sleeved wool shirt.

At first, of course Nayeon didn't know what to say. Because all the 'yeses' had been overlapping inside her head. But she eventually did. 

"Y-yes. When? W-we can set up a date for--"

"We can now --"

Mina emerged from the room, finally meeting the eyes she's been searching.

"N-Now. Yes, of course. S-sure,"

If Nayeon hadn't experienced a panic attack ever in her lifetime, she definitely is now. Especially when Mina is looking at her like that. Like she's ready to make mistakes again.

Nayeon rolled her sleeves up, adjusting her seat on her high bar stool and was about to pick a blank canvas when Mina interrupted.

"We can do 3 poses, five minutes each,"

The artist agreed. With lips pursing, agreeing to anything that Mina can offer. The younger girl not leaving her side. She realized how Mina knew so much. And this girl in front of her is a professional.

"I want to know how you see me --,"

Mina mouthed, her head hanging low, looking at Nayeon.

They've been staring at each other, and threading the needles of the night for God knows how long until Mina then decided to unbutton her white shirt. On her second hook, Nayeon called her.

"Come here,"

Mina didn't hesitate. She walked slowly towards Nayeon, her hands reaching out to the artist's extended hands, standing steadily in between her legs. It's almost too close for comfort.

Nayeon didn't say anything but she reached out for Mina's shirt and unlatched the remaining buttons, each eliciting a strangled breath from Mina each time her fingers subtly touch the skin beneath the cotton material. She can feel her. Can see the rising and falling of her chest beneath her hold. She swore she could hear an erratic heartbeat but is not sure because maybe it was hers. 

Or maybe it was Mina's.

Or maybe Nayeon really doesn't care anymore because this girl in front of her is so breathtakingly beautiful and it doesn't help that she's kind of undressing her right now with shaking hands, seeing a hint of bare skin. And a black laced underwear.

When she reaches the last piece, Nayeon stood in place, searching for Mina's eyes, at the same time avoiding what's in front of her. She stood there in awful silence then Mina turned her back on her and then unbuckled her leather belt, removing her pants in the process, letting in drop on the cold, cemented floor.

God.

Nayeon's breathing was labored and she's not even trying to hide it anymore because she could say the same with the other girl.

She knows what to do. 

She wants her to remove her underwear. 

First, she slowly unhooked her bra, unclasping the hooks one breath at a time. When it's done, Nayeon gestured Mina to face her, eventually removing the small material revealing her entirely.

Baring everything in front of her. 

But she's seen this before.

So why does it feel like she's elevating.

Nayeon knew what Mina wanted, so the moment she faced her she pulled the last piece of underwear in front of her.

Now Mina is just skin.

Now Mina is all flesh.

And Mina is glowing under her stare. 

Without a word, Mina headed back to the room. Wordlessly she sat with her back against Nayeon, giving the other girl a full view of her back. Mina gave Nayeon a haste thumbs up cuing that she can start. 

But the older girl seemed to have gone through a frozen mental state before she was actually able to grab her brush. Her mind stranded with thoughts that is all Mina. This set-up is not at all helping with her erratic heart beating. 

Why am I like this.

I've seen a lot of naked women.

But Mina. 

Mina is something else.

Nayeon made a quick sketch of Mina. Starting with only lines and circles, shadows darkening deeper on each crease and corner. She gave emphasis on the curves of her back, the nape of her neck, the length of her legs. 

She made a mental note to remember all her details.

The shine and dark of her hair, the crimson on her cheeks. She looks fragile under the lights illuminating her body.

Nayeon can't help but stare.

When Mina moved, it was Nayeon's cue thats it's her second pose. She never thought a whole 5 minutes had passed.

Mina have decided that she'd face Nayeon this time. She rested her hand on her head, legs crossing, looking straight into her reflection.

But maybe into Nayeon.

Nayeon didn't know how many times she has swallowed, her heart's been on her throat the moment this woman entered her own gallery.

Maybe it was her whole aura radiating when she's inside her comfort zone. Maybe it was the sex she has shared with her when they were both young and reckless. One second is one second in the past and three years is quite some time. A lot of things had changed but not these crazy, sensual feeling she has with Mina.

Nayeon took time sketching the body in front of her. Timed with a ticking clock, she doesn't even know if she's doing everything right. Her focus is on her body. But her body controls everything. Even when Mina sighed deeply, moving her chest in and out, Nayeon stopped as if Mina holds the brush for her. Now her eyes can't stay away from the bare breasts, hard and sensitive from the cold. 

Hard.

This is getting hard. 

The air is getting thicker.

Her patience is getting thinner and thinner by the minute.

When Mina looked at the clock, she knew it'll be her last pose. She signals to Nayeon to let her know that. 

Mina stood up straight, hugging herself, looking at the ground. Her curves being given so much emphasis. She covered her breasts with her bare hand, her mound with the other. 

When she looked at the two-way mirror, she saw Nayeon already standing by the door. Her eyes are unreadable, hooded and close to high.

"Mina," she breathed. Labored, struggling to not cause herself concussion from all the internal fight she had to do for the day.

But what made Nayeon be braver was that Mina doesn't look surprised. Mina looks like she was expecting it. Expecting Nayeon to fall for the bait Mina offered, in which the artist took. A smirk plastered on her face teasing Nayeon to the core.

"Done already?" Sarcasm evident in her tone.

But Nayeon didn't answer. 

She just stood by the door, watching the model closely. 

"Can I come close?" She asked. Almost a whisper. Asking for permission. Asking for some type of entry.

"Come here," Mina sat on the bed, not bothering to ask Nayeon the robe hanging by the rack.

When Nayeon reached Mina, she was sure that the remaining oxygen already left her lungs and that what she's breathing now is what Mina could give, given how close they got.

When Mina offered her hand to Nayeon, the older girl took it without hesitation. Mina placed Nayeon's hand on her shoulders, slowly guiding Nayeon to every curve she drew and to every corner she painted. And Nayeon took this in, dreadfully anticipating where Mina would lead her hands. 

It reached Mina's arms.

They took a detour to her neck.

Down to the crease of her prominent collar bone.

To her mound on her breasts.

She heard Mina gasped for air. 

Looking at her with dark, hooded eyes.

So Nayeon, liking the reaction, took her time.

Until Mina let go of Nayeon's hands.

But Nayeon knows what to do.

She glided down her ribcage, two hands going up and down the body that was once under her mercy.

"Kiss me," It was more of a demand than a plead.

So Nayeon did. The moment her hand cupped her cheeks grazing her jawline, Nayeon took her in and Mina never saw it coming. 

Mina made it easy.

Mina was ready for her.

Mina took her in.

The next thing they knew, Nayeon is already sharing the bed with her. On her own studio, inside her gallery, the mirror in front of them serving as the only witness that night. 

Nayeon came too many times that night, but Mina, Mina is immaculate. Nayeon didn't know. She already lost count, but the way Mina crumbled on top of her made Nayeon lose it right then and there. 

For how many times that night.

For the first time in three years, they lay together in bed. Laughing at something about a buyer from the event, talking about Sana and Chae, talking about how silly and small their worlds are intertwined. Nayeon held her close, Mina rests her head in Nayeon's neck with her eyes closed, her lips forming into a smile everytime that Nayeon speaks.

When they looked at the clock it was 4 o'clock in the morning.

"We lost track of time,"

"We did," Nayeon said, whispering through Mina's hair,  not moving an inch. 

"You wanna come with me? My house? For breakfast?" Mina carefully asked.

"That sounds like a plan," 

I'm ready.

To wherever this is leading.

When Mina realized that Nayeon has no plans of moving, she kissed her chin playfully earning a gruntled moan from the older woman.

Mina kissed her chin again but Nayeon is not opening her eyes.

So Mina kissed her on the lips, capturing her lower lips, nipping on the soft flesh. Nayeon let out a moan, held the model closer from her grip, pressing their bodies together.

"We won't be able to get home like this,"

"Don't care,"

"Too bad my bed is nicer," Mina teased making Nayeon open one eye, trying to catch any lie in Mina's eyes. 

"I'm serious, jerk," she said pushing Nayeon away playfully. She took her clothes and acted dressing up when Nayeon sat straight up, took her by the waist and kissed her forehead gently. 

"Let's go get that breakfast," she took her own clothes and readied herself.

"Do you need anything in the grocery? I can drop by," Nayeon offered.

"Only if you wanna stay up until dinner. I might," Mina said leaving the studio, letting go from Nayeon's hand.

"I'll drop you, you can prepare breakfast then I can do the groceries for you. I just need a list. A very specific, labeled list," Nayeon said smirking. Reminiscing a memory when her mom lost her hair when Nayeon offered to do the groceries for their house for Christmas.

Nayeon followed Mina suit, stopping by when Mina saw the quick sketch that Nayeon did outside the room.

"You distract me so much," Nayeon admitted.

Mina giggled.

"It still looks amazing though,"

"As soon as I get back, I'll paint it over. You can watch if you want,"

"I'll make time," 

As if a promise, before they both left the gallery, Nayeon stopped Mina by the door and kissed her deeply , holding her cheeks together in which Mina gladly gave in, pulling Nayeon in for more contact. 

When they parted they were both struggling for air.

"God, I don't know --

It's like the first time when I saw you,"

"Are you declaring your undying love for me Im?"

Nayeon's eyes danced with the dim lights of the post outside the gallery.

Whatever they have.

They have it now. 

And now is okay.

Nayeon took Mina's hands, rubbed them together to give her a brief relief from the cold as Mina's eyes gleam with hers.

They've got tonight.

And the rest of their days to figure this out.

End.