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“Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we’ve finally run out.”
The words hit you like a ton of bricks, each syllable weighing heavily on your chest as the impact of Guren’s words suffocated you. Squeezing every muscle and nerve in your body till it felt like you were going to burn up instantly.
“R-Ran out?” You whispered weakly, your vision blurring and your hands beginning to tremble as they clenched desperately at his shirt, “What do you mean we ran out, Guren? I-I don’t… I don’t understand.”
“(Y/N), you need to grab everyone and run, I don’t want you getting caught up in the crossfire, let alone dying with me. You got that?”
“Dying with you?! Guren! What’s going on! Please, please just tell me. We’ll fix it, I’ll help you. Please let’s just talk—“
“No.”
“But I—“
“I said no, (y/n). That’s final. Take everyone and get the hell out of here, that’s an order, Sergeant. Leave me to die and save our squads.”
(Y/n) watched in stunned silence as their superior grabbed for the pills in his pocket, placing another tablet upon his tongue. You knew it was his fourth tablet and would ultimately be his demise if he swallowed it.
“Stop it,” you mumbled weakly, moving to knock the container out of his hand and swat the pill off his tongue, your voice raising out of an angry panic with each step towards the tall men, “Stop it! Are you fucking stupid, Lieutenant?! That’s your fourth pill of the day! You’re barely alive after taking two. Just... Stop. Let’s figure this out together. Nobody has to die, Guren!”
“I already thought it out, (Y/n)! One of us isn’t going to make it! I’m not letting any more of my good men die.”
“What the fuck is even going on!” You screamed, your body electric as it finally reached its limit. You were scared, anxious, pissed, and desperate. So utterly desperate to keep the man you loved safe and from dying, “Just tell me, Guren! What is happening?!”
“Shikama... he’s.. he’s coming to kill us all, but I can control the seraphs at the very least! I can use the keys against him to save everyone. It’s going to kill me, but if I don’t stop him, he’s going to kill every last living and dead person just for his sick fucking games.”
“Then let me come with you!”
“No!”
“Why not?!”
“Are you fucking stupid?! Because it’s a suicide mission!”
“I... Guren! I love you! You stupid fucking idiot! I love you, I love you so much I want to die with you. I don’t... I don’t want to do this without you...” your voice trailed off into a broken whimper, tears danced gently down your cheeks and your tight, rigid body began to tremble.
How could one person who had been so smart, been so skillful, and had managed to stay alive this long be this stupid? How could he even fathom dying when he still couldn’t be honest with his best friend? How could he just leave behind so much for the sake of being selfless?
“Why can’t you just be selfish for once. Why can’t you just want to live for once in your stupid life.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I see the way you throw yourself into battle, how you separate from us every time to fight on your own. You want to die. You’d rather something or someone kill you before you ever had to tell Shinya about what happened. You’re so fucking full of guilt you’d really rather get yourself killed than right your wrongs, Ichinose!? How fucking pathetic! I have wasted my last few years with you trying to save you because I don’t want you to die and this if how you repay me?”
Your voice raising higher and higher, tears threatening to spill, your fist clenched in anger, “All the nights I fucked you! Held you! Kissed you! And this is how you say thanks?! By getting yourself killed instead of being there to do it again?! Who... How... Why?! Why is it when you get one stupid good thing in your life, you try to ruin it by almost killing yourself?!”
Guren scoffed in pure disgust, a sick smile threatening to take over, “I don’t know what got into your head that any of that meant anything to me, but you’re wrong. This, ‘thing’ we had going on, it was nothing more than simple fun. Something to pass the time between our next battles. Did you really thing anything would come of this?!” The man laughed, shaking his head and grabbing the hilt of his blade, “We either live or we die in this fucked up world. Falling in love in the last thing I need.”
Every word, every syllable, the lack of any emotion in his face, it hit you so hard you thought you could die. Could you die from a heart break? If not, this was God’s way of bringing you to the brink of death. Pure torture.
You inhaled deeply, forcing the air out in a sigh. You grabbed the few things around you that was yours, tilting your head up to meet Guren’s eyes, your voice dripping with pure venom, “Fuck you, Guren. Go get yourself killed. I’ll see you in Hell.”