Archive of Our Own

“Unbelievable!” Niall huffs under his breath as he walks the remainder of the way from the bus stop to the flat he shares with one of his best mates.

It’s the last week of January and there isn’t a single store within Niall’s view that doesn’t have hearts bordering the windows, or small cupids strung on the doors.
Pink and red assault his vision of the whole street and it’s too much, and it hits him harder than he’d care to ever explain to anyone. So, he continues his walk with his head lowered and eyes trained on the sidewalk.

The night air is cold and it bites at Niall’s face. He tugs his coat tighter around himself and when he walks past the small comic store at the corner of the street he picks up his pace and walks even faster. This time he doesn’t stop to give the small store a quick look and doesn’t bother to see if he’s in there, flipping through one of his favorite comics.

X

“Shut the door quick, you’re going to let all the warm air out!” His roommate’s voice calls out from somewhere in their small flat. Niall wants to respond back with, “What warm air? It’s colder in here than it is out,” but pointing out the obvious won’t keep them from freezing to death tonight. So he opts to remain silent and makes his way to the living room to find Harry, his roommate, instead.

Harry is huddled inside two blankets watching some comedy show on the telly, turning to Niall with a welcoming smile when he hears him approach.

“How was work?”

“It was work,” the blonde comes around and plops himself down next to Harry on their old couch. It’s once he’s able to sit down and rest that he realizes just how tired his bones feel. “Not too eventful. Had a drunk customer who wouldn’t leave one of the waitresses alone all night. We had to get security to kick him out.” Niall recounts, “but nothing new is it?”

“I guess not,” Harry shrugs. He’s heard enough stories about drunk customers hitting on the waitresses (or Niall) to know that, yeah, it wasn’t news.

Niall nudges Harry with a pointy elbow to the side, “and how was school?”

“It was alright, I guess,” Harry shrugs and cuddles closer to Niall’s side. Niall welcomes Harry and the warmth he supplies him, “Liam came over to study with me. He only stayed for a few minutes though, said it was balls freezing in here.”

“Speaking of which, why is it fucking freezing?” Niall asks, and actually catches Harry’s face flushing.

“Forgot to pay the gas bill, we should be fine for tomorrow though.”

“Yeah, if we don’t freeze to death tonight and live to see tomorrow.” Niall teases. Harry pouts and moves away from him. It only makes Niall’s grin grow wider, and he watches Harry with amusement.

Their doorbell rings, and Harry struggles to stand on his feet without having to unwrap himself from the two blankets and expose his body to the cold air, “Well I guess you’re going to starve as well. because I’m not sharing my food with you tonight” he proclaims.

Niall rolls his eyes, and watches after Harry. He knows the other lad well enough to know that he’d never let Niall starve and also because, “hey Ni, do you have some cash I can borrow?” He’s paying for half of it.

X

After they finish eating “dinner”, they sit around for a bit and continue watching some show Harry finds amusing. It’s not until Niall’s eyelids begin to drop, and he no longer has the strength to keep his head up that Harry decides for the both of them that it’s time to go to bed.

The pair change into as many layers of clothing as they can, and then Niall is heading to his own room but Harry pulls him back, “hey sleep at mine tonight, yeah?” he says softly.

It’s so welcoming sleeping next to Harry, his best mate, instead of his own cold bed. He hasn’t gotten use to sleeping on his own yet, without a warm body next to his and pointy limbs poking against his own. So Niall nods silently, and turns back to follow Harry into his room.

“I call little spoon.” Harry says as they get under the covers. Niall smirks because of course he does.

They both start out shivering, cold toes pressing against even colder ones and Niall thinks that they’re both idiots for not wearing socks to sleep. He’s too comfortable now though to get up and put some on, and he supposes Harry is too by the way he snuggles closer towards Niall giving him a face full of curls.

“You probably did this on purpose didn’t you?” Niall says, after Harry turns the bedside lamp off and they’re lying in complete darkness.

“Do what?” Harry yawns out, his voice is raspy and laced with sleep.

“Not pay the gas bill, so we’d be forced to share body heat.”

Harry scoffs, “you caught me.”

“Knew it.” Is the last thing Niall says before closing his eyes. He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and feels the rise and fall of his stomach. His best friend is a solid comfort to him tonight.

It’s easy to remember who he’s sleeping next to, because he was sharp angles and skinny limbs but Harry is soft edges and firm muscles.

X

Its 6:30 in the morning and Niall would rather stay lying in bed all day, burrowed deep in the sheets to guard himself from the cold weather outside. His first class starts at eight and he really regrets signing up for such an early class now.

As much as Niall wants to sleep in, he knows he no longer has the luxury of skipping class. He’s missed enough days last month to have him on the borderline of failing most of them.

And even if he decided he was going to go back to his old habits and press the snooze button on his alarm and “accidentally” sleep past his first two classes, Harry won’t let him- not anymore.

The younger male is currently dancing around in the kitchen, music playing all through the small flat from his cellphone, as he makes them breakfast.

Before last month Harry was never one to wake up early and make them both breakfast, he would never be caught dancing happily this early in the morning.

Niall feels a twist in his gut, because he knows what’s changed and he knows why Harry now makes sure to always be in a good mood when he wakes up. He does all this for Niall, and that makes something in Niall’s chest tighten up with a knot of emotion.

Harry doesn’t have to deal with all of this, but he is, and he’s doing such a good job of helping Niall forget.

“You could at least put some jeans on Haz.” Niall says, once he’s gotten up and made his way to their kitchen, he’s watching Harry in amusement as he moves his hips to the song currently playing, wearing only in a pair of tight boxer briefs.

“I wanted to give you a nice view to wake up to” Harry shrugs, turning to Niall with a smirk.

Niall rewards Harry with a small smile and a shake of his head at the comment as he takes a seat. A hot plate of toast, bacon and eggs is placed in front of him, followed by Harry plopping down in the seat in front of him, foot knocking against his own under the table forcing Niall to look up. “Good Morning?” Harry offers, a tentative smile slowly gracing his lips.

Niall nods and swallows past the lump in his throat.

“Yeah, it’s good.”

It’s become a thing, almost like Harry’s way of asking how he’s doing without directly saying it.

Niall was such a mess the first weeks of the breakup. Harry had been at a loss of how to comfort him because Niall had completely shut down and wouldn’t let anyone in.

He remembers the first morning he woke up after the break up, he felt like hell and probably looked the part. Harry had been kind enough to bring him breakfast up to his room seeing as how Niall had taken to only staying holed up there. Harry had sat next to him, making sure he ate everything on his plate before saying “Good Morning.”

“Is it?” Niall had responded somberly. So after that Harry began to ask every day, until finally Niall managed to leave his room and eat at the kitchen table with the brunet. And when Harry asked the question. Niall didn’t look as sad, no longer as broken and he actually lifted the corners of his lips in an attempt to smile, for Harry’s sake really, before he nodded.

“It is now.” He had said, and Harry had smiled like a proud mother and called it success before reaching over to ruffle Niall’s now more brown then blonde hair.

“Well I should go get ready now, can’t be late again. I’m pretty sure my sociology professor has it out for me after all those days I’ve missed.” Niall says after he’s eaten most of his breakfast. Harry nods and takes both of their plates to the sink, throwing them in with last night’s plates. Niall makes a face.

“I’ll do them after classes today, promise.”

Niall is out the door by 7:40 and it usually takes him a good eight minutes to get to campus from their building, which is conveniently located within walking distance of their university. It’s a little more expensive because of the proximity but he figures they save money on transportation and gas so it works out in the end.

Harry’s first class starts at 10am on Thursdays, so Niall doesn’t have his company today. Even though Harry always offers to walk with him to class, Niall turns down his offer. He doesn’t want to cause Harry more trouble than he probably already does and he wants to start getting a sense of independence that he had lost last month. He’s relied so much on Harry through all of it, he owes it to both of them to learn how to stand on his own two feet again.

He’ll admit that it’s hard, even this simple walk to campus becomes a challenge for him now. He doesn’t want to see the familiar faces of those who know about his break-up and break down.

The biggest punch is probably knowing that not too long ago those same people use to be some of his really good friends. He never asked them to choose sides, and he’d like to hope that he hadn’t either. But each time he meets the eyes of Louis Tomlinson and only to have him avert his eyes away to another object, or worse, walk the other direction, makes it clear that he’s decided to choose a side either way. He had always been closer to the other, always stuck by his side like a loyal sidekick, so really it hadn’t surprised Niall at all.

Niall wonders if Louis was told the whole story, if he had been told the truth.

There are days where Niall sees Louis, and he wants to walk up to him and grab his shoulders and shake him violently and ask him why he’s ignoring him, ask him what he did to deserve any of this.

Because as far as Niall knows, he hadn’t been the one to fuck up.

X

“You fucked up,” Zayn says playfully, leaning over Niall’s shoulder to take a look at his progress. He rests his chin on the other male’s shoulder as he watches Niall angrily erase the pencil markings on the sheet of paper in front of him. Niall groans and throws one of the pencils he had taken from Zayn’s bag at his desk in defeat.

“Well did you really expect a better outcome? I shouldn’t have let you convince me to take the introductory art class. We both know I’m rubbish at it.” Niall responds. Zayn chuckles lightly and playfully bites at Niall’s earlobe.

“Aw come on babe, don’t get angry.” Zayn turns Niall around in his chair so he’s facing him. Zayn watches him with a look of fondness before reaching out to smoothen the furrow of Niall’s eyebrows.

“I’m not angry.” Niall breaths out, “just frustrated I guess; I wanted to be good at drawing but I’m talentless.”

Zayn shakes his head with a look of disapproval, “Niall you’re probably one of the most talented guys I know. Babe, you play like three instruments and you have one of the best voices I’ve heard. Screw art, your talent is in music. And if it makes you feel better I can do all your art projects for you for now on. That way you’ll pass the class.”

Niall smiles at his boyfriend’s compliments and offer, “yeah okay. Thanks.”

Zayn gives him a pleased grin before he leans in for a kiss. Niall immediately responds to the touch and leans in. The kiss ends all too soon and Niall is left chasing after the other boy’s lips, wanting more.

It makes Zayn chuckle with a tenderness and love only reserved for Niall, he reaches out a hand to help Niall stand.

“We agreed to meet with the other lads for Lunch ‘member?”

Niall grabs Zayn’s waist and slowly pushes him against the door keeping him there with the press of his body against the other, Zayn is left speechless as Niall begins to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Niall gives him a cheeky smirk, blue eyes captivating and making Zayn’s knees weak, “They can wait. I still have to properly thank you.”

X

Niall wonders if the signs had always been there. If they had been visible to all the other’s but him. He sometimes lays awake in bed and thinks back to all the days leading up to the break up, and he wonders if Zayn had maybe hinted at it. If like some stupid crime show, he had left signs in codes only he understood.

Niall had always been so sure of Zayn’s love, everyone always told him how Zayn looked at him like he was a blind man looking at the sun for the first time. Niall thinks the only blind one there had been him, he had been blinded by his own love and trust to notice what was going on behind his back.

Harry asked him once, how Niall had felt when he first found out. At the time Niall hadn’t been able to answer such a huge question, he was still hurting and still trying to make sense of it all. He had been left to fix up a wound that just wouldn’t stop bleeding no matter how many band aids he placed on it.

Each time he remembers or thinks about the whole situation he’s forced to feel the wound again, he doesn’t think it will ever heal. He doesn’t think he will ever receive the closure he needs to move on and forget. He’ll never forget because as much as the heartbreak hurts, the betrayal of it all hurts the most.

He wants to hate Zayn – has told himself countless times that he hates him – but the sad part is he doesn’t.

Some days he still thinks he loves him. Harry tells him it’s probably the memories he’s holding on to that he loves, not Zayn.

“Wanna know what the worst part is?” Niall had said one night as they lit one up in Harry’s room, passing the blunt between the both of them. Niall didn’t wait for Harry’s response before he finished, “The worst part is knowing that while we were together and I was falling more in love with him. He was falling out of love and in love with her. So much so that he’d go against his morals and my back to be with her.”

“Ni…” was all Harry had said, moving closer towards his best friend to wrap an arm around him. Eyes red and watery from the weed, or from crying, they’d never know.

“It hurts so bad, Haz.”

“I know Ni. I know.”

X
“Harry told me you’re thinking of skipping out on the party.” Liam is currently laid out on Niall’s bed, looking much too comfortable and like he’s about to fall asleep. Meanwhile, Niall is bent over his anatomy textbook trying his best to highlight the important parts. He’s been stuck on one sentence this whole time, and he’s attempted to read it for five times now, but he knows it’s no use. The material just isn’t sticking to his brain. Once more his mind is elsewhere. Or maybe it’s Liam who’s distracting him. Either way he knows he won’t get much studying done tonight, so he shuts the textbook and swivels around in his chair to face the other boy.

“God, you’re annoying. Can’t concentrate with you here.” Niall says.

Liam looks up at him, and uses his hand to support his head, “oh sure, blame me.” He scoffs. He lets his head fall back onto the mattress again before jumping back up to a sitting position and giving Niall his full attention. “Hey, you didn’t answer my question!”

“I’m not in the mood to party Liam.” Is Niall’s simple answer. Liam frowns and makes an incredulous face, as if the thought of Niall not wanting to party is hard to believe, and it would have been—5 months ago.

“But this isn’t just any party, it’s your best mate’s 22nd birthday.”

Niall groans, loud and drawn out—overdramatic some might say (Liam). “Fuck, I know I know. It’s just that…“Niall stops himself from finishing his sentence. He realizes how stupid it sound if he did.

Liam urges him to continue though, “that what?” Niall shakes his head and prays and hopes Liam drops the topic.

“Harry understands.” Is all he says as he distracts himself by tugging at the hole in his jeans, it’s wide enough to show off the nasty scar over his knee.

“This isn’t about-“

“No!” Niall is quick to snap. And really, he’s gone and given himself away. He lets out a resigned sigh and looks away from Liam’s suddenly understanding brown eyes.

“He’s in the same circle of friends that Harry’s in, and chances are, he was invited too.” Niall points out. Then he’s left to wonder when he’s stopped saying his name completely. He tries it out in his mind, “Zayn, his name was Zayn. Zayn Zayn Zayn.” But thinking it isn’t the same as actually saying it out loud for some odd reason. It tastes bitter in his mouth and it’s a distressful thought to think that not too long ago he had been saying his name with so much love.

“I don’t think Harry would approve of that. He had to of have some control over his own party guest list. Even if Grimshaw’s the one hosting it.”

Niall rolls his eyes at the mention of Nick Grimshaw’s name, “I don’t think he’d mind a bit of drama at his party. The guy thrives off of it.”

“I get you two don’t get along, for whatever reason, but I don’t think even he’s that cruel.” Liam says.

Niall purses his lips in thought, wonders what the chances of both Zayn and him being invited are. And that thought then leads him to wonder if Zayn would go in the first place knowing there's be a chance of seeing Niall there.

A rush of anxiety rushes though him just picturing the two of them bumping into each other there. It’s such a stressful thought, so much so that Niall has to physically shake his head to rid himself of it.

Liam gives him a determined look before he says, “fuck it. You should go. So what if he shows up? Ignore him all night and show him that what he did is behind you.”

“But it isn’t behind me—not yet at least,” it’s softly said in hopes that Liam doesn’t catch it, but he does.

“Well, that’s the difficult part isn’t it, you have to pretend you’re not hurt anymore if only for that night. And I’ll be there to back you up, and so will Harry.”

Niall turns away from Liam and scratches at his jaw, trying not to show Liam how overwhelmed he’s become with the emotion of what he’s just said.

He honestly doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve both Liam and Harry as friends. They’re too nice to him…too understanding.

“I’ll think about it.” Niall finally says after weighing the pros and cons of attending. To be fair there had just been one big con and one pro. Con, would be seeing his cheating ex-boyfriend there and the pro would be being there for Harry, who’s always managed to be there for him.

X

Niall tries to think back to the last party he’d been to. It proves to be a difficult task, because he’d never been this sober at a party to begin with. He’d always be seen with a red cup of something—preferably strong—in it, swaying and laughing too loud. Just on the edge of being completely wasted, but not so much so that he couldn’t enjoy himself.

He remembers that’s how he had met Zayn, he had had more drinks than he should have and he had been swaying around trying not to fall on his face and make a bigger fool of himself. Unfortunately, he had lost his step and the alcohol in him made him clumsy and Zayn had been the unlucky guy to get a cup of beer poured down his shirt. Niall had been mortified once he’d realized what he’d done—and how good looking the other lad was. The dark haired boy had looked angry at first, tattoos and leather jacket making him seem cold and like someone Niall would never mess with on purpose. Zayn’s features had softened once he met Niall’s eyes though. And all Niall could do was continue to apologize, no longer feeling as drunk as he had before.

He can recall the details as if it had been just a few days ago. It’s such a clear memory that Niall forgets his present settings and it’s only once Liam clears his throat that Niall realizes he had zoned out.

“I’m sorry, what where you saying?” Niall asks, feeling bad but it’s Liam so he’s not too worried.

Liam sighs and gives him a tiny glare, “you need another drink—loosen you up a bit. I’ll be right back.” He announces. Niall doesn’t want another drink, he’s not in the mood to wake up with a hangover tomorrow and he wants to tell Liam this but he’s already weaving his way through the crowd of dancing bodies.

Niall want’s to accuse Liam of spiking his drinks—he’s drinking his sixth one—with something, he’s starting to feel the familiar buzz and he has to admit he’s kind of thankful because the alcohol had managed to loosen him up. He’s no longer glued to one spot, and he’s actually able to socialize with people he’s never spoken to before this night.

It’s a familiar feeling, and it’s one he’s missed.

X

“Harry!” Niall immediately lights up at the sight of his friend. Harry quirks an eyebrow at Niall’s enthusiastic reaction to seeing him.

“Hey Ni—“Is the only thing Harry manages to get out before Niall is pulling him over to the kitchen. “How many drinks have you had?”

“Fuck, I don’t know….too many.” He shrugs, and it’s so much like the carefree Niall they’re all use too. Harry had no idea how much he’s missed this Niall. It’s like this Niall, and the one he’s been sharing a flat with for the past few months are two completely separate people.

“Here,” Niall hands him a shot glass and takes another one for himself. “Happy birthday bro.” Niall says (slurs), before he throws back the shot, the face he makes from the burn is immediately followed by a familiar carefree laugh.

Harry is too busy just watching Niall and kind of forgets he has the drink in his hand, he’s still a little taken back by how changed Niall seems from the person he had walked into the party with earlier. He’s not complaining though.

“Quit staring, and drink up.” Niall orders, a small smirk playing at the corners of his lips. Harry can feel the burn of a blush on his face, and it confuses him to say the least.

“Wasn’t starring…just admiring.” Harry winks, before he copies Niall and swallows the strong drink down. Trying not to make a face once it reaches his throat and leaves the familiar burn behind.

“I—“Niall pauses and reaches for the bottle of tequila, pouring them two more shots, “don’t think you’re drunk enough. It’s your birthday!” Niall shakes his head in disapproval.

Harry doesn’t even attempt to protest. He doesn’t really care if he spends the rest of the night here in the kitchen with Niall instead of going back out to socialize with his guests. He’s sure they’d understand if he told them that he hasn’t seen this Niall for months now, and if he explained to them just how much he’s missed this Niall-his Niall.

They’ve drowned down four shots each. It had come to the point where Niall had just began to make up things to drink to, ‘because you’re turning a double digit today’, had been one of his most creative.

“Your guests are probably wondering where you are.” Niall says after they’ve been silent for too long, and Harry once again is caught staring, but the thing is, Niall is a sight tonight. He’s glowing, and that natural blush has returned to his cheeks and his eyes are so blue. It’s fucking captivating—he’s captivating.

And Harry want’s to say these are all new feelings, but the sad truth is that they’re feelings he’s become all too familiar with. He’s usually better at hiding them though.

“They’re gonna think I’m selfish for keeping you all to meself.” Niall grins.

Harry knows Niall’s right, they’ve probably began to wonder where he is.

“Wait here okay.” Harry asks. Niall cocks his head to the side, probably wondering what exactly Harry’s going on about.

“Where else would I go off to?” Niall adds just to give him a hard time.

Harry ignores Niall’s comment and walks out of the kitchen, the party is still on full swing and it doesn’t seem like too many people have noticed his absence. He is stopped here and there by a few people who want to wish him a good birthday or want to catch up with him. He makes the exchanges as fast as he can and once he’s finally free he finds what he’d come out to retrieve in the first place.

Niall’s gift, he had given it to him this morning when he’d come into his room to sing “Happy Birthday” to him.

Harry walks back to the kitchen to find Niall close to the same spot he’d left him at, turning over a can of beer as if contemplating whether he should drink it or not. Harry thinks it’s the perfect moment to use his gift, so he takes the Polaroid camera in his hands and snaps a shot of Niall.
Niall looks up at him, and quirks and eyebrow when he realizes what Harry’s done, “you could at least get my good side Haz.”

“Oh? And what is your good side?” Harry asks unable to keep the smile off his face. He’s waving the Polaroid around, waiting for it to develop.
Niall doesn’t answer Harry’s question and instead walks over towards him and takes the camera from Harry’s hands. He proceeds to stand beside the brunette boy and holds up the camera, Harry doesn’t understand what Niall’s doing until the picture is snapped.

Niall chuckles softly and takes the polaroid, and waits for it to become visible. Harry is still standing beside him, shoulder to shoulder as he waits as well.

“I want a do over.” Harry finally says, once the picture begins to become visible and it’s clear Harry hadn’t been ready-he’s not even looking at the camera. And Niall, well he looks perfect.

That’s probably the only reason Harry will end up keeping that picture, because Niall looks happy and worry free, brilliant blue eyes and unruly blond hair sticking up after he’s run a hand through it. And also because come tomorrow, he doesn’t know what will happen. He’s not sure whether Niall will be this Niall or the closed off Niall he’s had to witness the past few months.

X

Harry is woken up by a string of curses and a loud thump on his floor. He instinctively sits up and turns the bedside lamp on. His eyes take a couple of seconds to adjust before they are able focus on the figure laying on his floor.

“Fuck’s sake Harry, told y’to clean your room a week ago.” A heavy accented voice cuts through the silence of the otherwise quite night.

Harry ignores Niall and falls back onto his pillow. He opens one eye to take a peek at the time on his phone, 2am.

“Wake up you tosser, I think I broke my butt bone.” Niall groans

“That wouldn’t of happened if you hadn’t come creeping in my room at 2am” Harry mutters.

Harry can almost hear Niall’s eyeroll, “I’m being serious Harry.”

“Want me to rub it?” Harry offers with a sly smile, not bothering to open his eyes to see Niall’s reaction.

Niall shakes his head at Harry’s comment as he limps over to his bed, “You’re sick. Maybe sleeping with you tonight is a bad idea.”

“Oh come on, don’t play hard to get now.” Harry rolls over to the left side of the bed to make room for him. Niall eyes the bed warily as Harry pats at the open spot he’s made for the blond. He eventually gives in--of course he does.

Once Niall is under the covers and Harry rolls onto his side to face away from Niall, it just comes as instinct now for Niall to snuggle up to Harry’s back and wrap an arm around his middle. Harry reaches for the lamp switch, tries his hardest not to move too much, and switches it off, engulfing the whole room in total darkness.

“I’m-“ Niall’s warm breath runs over the exposed skin of Harry’s neck, and it causes a ripple of goose bumps all over, “thanks.”

“Don’t worry Nialler—I get it.” He replies back, and he thinks he’s said the right thing because Niall’s arms bring him in a little closer. And Harry does get it, he understands how difficult it is for Niall to fall asleep on his own when he had been so use to falling asleep besides someone else each night. One night Niall explained to him how he can’t fall asleep on his own anymore, and if he can’t fall asleep he starts to think—‘And I rather not be left alone with my own thoughts that late at night’ he’d say.

Harry doesn’t know exactly when he had begun to feel this attraction towards Niall, all he knows is that it didn’t happen in a day, it wasn’t spontaneous like a “love at first” sight sort of deal. But rather, it was slow and it took him by surprise. Because first they were just two lads laid out in one of their messy beds in only a pair of shorts, trying to beat the other at a game of FIFA, and Harry didn’t think too much about the press of Niall’s bare arm to his. Or how Niall’s booming laugh made his toes curl.

But then he did.

It didn’t really scare Harry as much as the thought of falling for your best friend should have.

One thing he does know however, is that he had loved Niall before Zayn had even been introduced to the picture.

X

With the passing days and a week into the month of February, the approach of Valentine’s Day is more evident than it had been before. Niall tries not to seem as bitter about it as he actually is. He feels like the Grinch on Christmas, except he’s more of an anti-Valentine’s kind of guy. And it doesn’t help that everywhere he goes the stupid holiday is shoved into his face. Even the bar he works at had him hanging up pink and red decorations all over the place.

He can’t wait for all of this to be over with, and the decorations come down and all the chocolate go on sale.

“What you need is a good shag.” Liam says after Niall communicates his true feelings about the upcoming holiday. Liam had caught up to him after class and had said he’d walk with him back to Niall’s flat because he needed to borrow a book from Harry.

Niall’s not sure whether Liam’s being serious or not, “And how would that solve any of my problems Liam?”

Liam shrugs, “it doesn’t have to solve anything. I’m just saying that it might help you well—forget.”

Niall shakes his head, “I’m not going to use people, Liam.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that.” Liam argues, “Not if they know it’s just a one night thing.”

Niall pretends to consider it, if just to get Liam to stop talking, he use to do one night stands all the time before…before he met Zayn.

“What are you doing for Valentine’s day?” Niall decides to steer the conversation away from him instead, Liam notices of course but lets it go for the time being.

“Uh, well I made reservations at Sophia’s favorite restaurant and after that we’re heading over to the Uni’s Valentine’s party.” Niall makes a face at the mention of the Uni’s Valentine’s party.

“You’re actually going to that?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Liam says, raising an eyebrow up in question. “Everyone seems to be going.”

“Oh, well….cool.” Is all Niall can come up with.

“It’s not as lame as it sounds Niall, swear. It’s student organized so like, it’s not going be some crappy school thing.”

“Sounds like a crappy school thing. Let me guess, it’ll be in the school's gym?”

Liam rolls his eyes and shoves at Niall’s shoulder, “you’re such a prick, and of course it’s not at the gym.”

“Liam I’m kidding, I’m sure whatever you do Sophia will love it.” Niall reassures.

They walk the remainder of the way in silence, just enjoying each others company before Liam says, “you should go.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

X

“We should go.” Harry says after Niall brings up the party. Niall has a hard time not looking as confused as he feels, he cocks his head to the side as he watches Harry.

“Why?”

“Why not.” He shrugs. He’s washing the dishes from today’s and last night’s dinner. While Niall is leaned beside him on the counter. He had been retelling him what he and Liam had been talking about, hoping Harry would agree with him and call the party lame.

He forgot who exactly he was talking to though, because last time he checked, Harry actually enjoyed celebrating Valentine’s Day. Harry was a true romantic and some of his favorite movies where rom coms.

“I can think of two good reasons.”

“I’m listening.” Harry says.

Niall lets out a deep sigh, “Well for starters, I’m sure it’s like a couple thing. Everyone will probably go as a couple because it’s bloody Valentine’s Day.”

“And the second reason is?”

“He—Zayn, might be there….with her.” Niall responds quietly, fighting hard to keep his voice steady.

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“We’ll I’m certainly not taking any chances.” He’s getting tired of leaning on the counter and standing, so he makes his way towards their small living room. Harry follows of course forgetting the dirty dishes still left over.

“Niall, It’s been five months.”

“Gee thanks, I wasn’t aware.” Niall responds in a sarcastic tone, he wants to follow it by one of his famous eye rolls but upon seeing Harry’s hurt expression he decides against it.

“I’m just trying to help Niall. What Zayn did was fucked up, I get it, and Liam gets it, we all do. But for fuck’s sake you can’t let him do this to you too.”

Niall quirks an eyebrow up in confusion, “Do what?”

“You’re just so sad all the time. So broken.” Harry says quietly. “And I honestly hate his guts for doing this to you.”

“Haz…” Niall tries to say something—something coherent. But his throat feels like something’s gone and lodged itself in it.

“Let me help Niall.”

“You’ve already helped me, in more ways than I can ever thank you for.” Niall doesn’t know where he’d be if it wasn’t for Harry’s support and friendship through all this mess. Harry’s been like a rock for him, present and strong. Niall’s never been the best when it comes to words, and now he wishes more than ever that he was—maybe then he would be able to get Harry to understand how much he means to Niall.

“I feel like this is the part where I’m suppose to go in for a hug.” Harry says, a hint of a smile on his lips.

“You’re an idiot. Here I am having a heartwarming moment with you and—.” Niall doesn’t get a chance to finish before Harry, true to his words, engulfs him in a hug.

And Niall has no other option but to hug back. He tugs his head into the spot where Harry’s neck meet’s his shoulder and breaths in the familiar scent of his best friend. He’s hit with the crushing feeling of emotions because he really did need this hug. It feels like Harry has single handedly fixed him and has glued all the pieces Niall thought he’d lost back together.

“We’re going to that party.” Harry whispers into Niall’s hair. It makes Niall pull away, if only to get a better look at Harry’s face and gauge whether he’s being serious. “Before you protest, hear me out. Okay?”

Niall nods.

“Go with me. Let me be your date Friday. I’ll be super romantic and show you that Valentine’s Day isn’t too bad, if you spend it with the right person.” Harry says.

“Wait so like—like a pretend boyfriend sort of thing?” Niall asks. Harry’s smile falls a fraction of what it had been before.

“Um, yeah I guess, whatever you want to call it.” Harry shrugs.

Niall thinks it over, looks Harry over and is rewarded with a big smile form the other lad. Niall has to admit Harry’s idea isn’t bad at all, he can’t think of a better candidate to spend Valentine’s Day with than his best friend. And who knows, maybe Zayn will be there, and maybe he’ll see Niall and it brings Niall a feeling of satisfaction to know that he’ll seem like he’s moved on. Show him that he no longer cares about him.
“Okay.” Niall finally says.

X

Valentine’s day rolls around faster than Niall thought it would. He’s almost forgotten his agreement with Harry until the morning of when he’s woken up by a wet kiss on his cheek.

“Gross.” He groans. He turns away from Harry, only to be assaulted by Harry’s fingers on his ticklish sides. Niall kicks around, hoping he’ll aim one at Harry’s crotch.

“It’s too early for this Styles.” Niall gets out in between wheezing laughs. He’s finally able to gain leverage and pushes Harry back and straddles his waist, holding his arms up and pressing them against the pillow over his head.

“You’re such a dick.” Niall breaths out. A wave of some type of feeling Niall can’t place yet runs through him looking down at Harry like this, goofy smile on his lips, bright wide green eyes, and unruly long hair splayed out on the white pillow.

“If I was a dick, would I have gotten you a Valentine’s day present?” Harry asks, interrupting Niall’s very new and very confusing thoughts.
“You got me a present?”

“Yup. And I can give it to you once you let me go. Take your time though, kind of grown use to this position by now.”

“Sick.” Niall says, but smirks never the less. He let’s go of Harry’s hands and climbs off his waist. “Okay let me have it.”

“It’s out in the living room.” Harry grins and gets out of bed grabbing onto Niall’s hand as he leads him out the room.

“You’re such a fuckin’ sap.” Is the first thing Niall says once he sees the arrangement Harry’s set up on their small coffee table. It’s the whole Valentine’s Day package, complete with a bear holding a heart shaped box of chocolates….and flowers. “But thank you, it’s lovely.” Niall blushes.
“When I said I was going to make today really romantic, I meant it. So be ready for more cliché Valentine’s day traditions.”

“Can’t wait.”

X

As the day progresses, it becomes harder for Harry to keep his emotions in control. It’s difficult having to pretend to be just on a pretend date when all Harry really wants to do it hold Niall’s hand in his and lean over the damn basket of breadsticks to kiss him. The atmosphere around them feels different and Harry wonder’s if it’s just him who feels it.

Harry had taken Niall to the nicest place he could afford on his Uni student budget. It’s not the fanciest and best place in town, but it’s one of their favorite places so it’s not like the food isn’t good.

“What are you going to order?” Harry asks if only to fill the silence over them.

“Same thing I always get Haz.” Niall grins.

“Right…” Harry says, cheeks turning a slight shade of pink.

“This is weird.” Niall admits, blue eyes looking around the restaurant. Harry’s heart falls to his stomach.

“What? Why?” He asks.

“Because all the times we’ve been here have just been to hang out and grab a bite, and now we’re on a date.” Niall’s grin gets wider and he knocks his knee against Harry’s under the table. “’S weird, but good.” He reassures.

“Well I’m glad you like it…I guess.” Harry shrugs not knowing what else to say. The truth is, this is a first for Harry too, and he’s never really had anyone as special as Niall to woo on Valentine’s Day.

“I do like it Harry, honestly. We could have been eating cold pizza in front of the TV and I’d still love it. As long as I’m with you.” Niall confesses, cheeks turning a ruddy pink. And almost making Harry’s heart burst from just those few words, the wide grin he gets next is hard to contain.
“Now who’s the sap?” Harry says, no longer able to control himself, so he reaches out and places his hand on top of Niall’s. Niall watches their joined hands with a small smile.

“You better not tell anyone I said that or I’ll break up with you.” Niall jokes.

“Not even Liam?”

“Especially not Liam.”

X

“You’re wearing that?” Niall asks, making a face of distaste as he looks Harry over. They’re headed to the party at uni and Niall had just been waiting on Harry to finish getting ready.

“Uh, yeah.” Harry says cautiously, he doesn’t understand what Niall’s referring to. He’s not wearing anything he hasn’t worn before, dark skinny jeans, a patterned shirt, and his brown boots.

“That’s a ridiculous pattern. Don’t you think it’s a little too much?” Niall asks.

“Well-“

“Harry, I’m joking.” Niall finally says followed by a chuckle. “Although I could do without my date showing their tits to the whole school but what are we gonna to do about it, your choice.”

“You’re such an arse.” Harry says, and reaches over to mess with Niall’s perfectly styled hair to spite him. “And quit starring.” Harry accuses, as he cover’s his chest with his hands.

Niall’s grin turns impossibly wide, “Not starring, ‘m admiring.”

“Fuck off.”

X

They make it to the party later than what they had planned for, and it’s only because Harry insists on opening every door in front of Niall including the car door. And Niall is only left to roll his eyes fondly at him.

Liam and Sophia are already there and they wave at the pair as they make their way over. “Harry told me you’d be coming, but I couldn’t believe him until I actually saw it.” Liam says.

“Yeah well, here I am. Harry couldn’t get a date on time, so he brought me.” Niall shrugs, and looks up at Harry with a smirk.

“Oh is that the story we’re going with?” Harry says in amusement, as he wraps an arm around Niall’s waist. The look Liam and Sophia share goes unnoticed between the pair.

“Uh, so—he’s here too apparently.” Liam says. Niall’s blood feels like it’s running cold through his veins, and he can feel his heart beat in his ears.

“Zayn?” Harry asks. Liam nods.

“Yeah, he came over to say hi a little while ago.” Sophia adds, “Asked how you were doing, Niall.”

“And what did you guys say?”

“That we’ve never seen you happier.” Liam replies.

“Good.” Niall nods.

The party isn’t as bad as Niall thought it be, there’s music and plenty of food and drinks. He has no idea how they were able to sneak in some alcohol to the event, but they did and Niall’s really thankful to whomever it was that did so.

Harry doesn’t leave his side all night, they’re a proper couple—at least in everyone’s eyes they are. Niall doesn’t know how much they’ve had to drink but it’s enough to have them both making idiots of themselves by dancing. They’re both two of the most uncoordinated lanky guys ever, so it’s truly a sight.

They haven’t spotted Zayn anywhere, the whole school seems to be here so they might not see him all night. Or maybe Niall’s not really paying attention to his surroundings to begin with, all he’s focused on is Harry and that stupid grin on his face that causes his dimples to pop out. His hair is sweaty and unruly on his head from all the dancing they’ve been doing. He’s a sight, and it’s a sight that manages to take Niall’s breathe away.

He’s about to lean in and ask Harry if they can sit this song out, because he’s actually kind of tired now, but then he sees him. Zayn seems to have spotted him too, and he’s walking over towards them, a blonde girl in tow.

“Fuck.” Niall says. Harry pauses and turns around to see what Niall’s staring at. His eyes go wide once he sees. He says something but Niall doesn’t catch it, his heart is still loudly beating and he wonders if maybe Harry can hear it too, as close as they are now. It beats louder the closer Zayn gets, and Niall can’t tear his eyes away from him.

And then his view is blocked, by Harry’s concerned look.

“Kiss me Harry.” Niall whispers.

“What-“ Niall doesn’t give Harry time to process what he’s just said before he leans in and connects his lips to Harry’s soft ones. He pulls him in closer with a press of his hand to the small of his back. Niall doesn’t really know what he had expected from the kiss, but the feelings blossoming in the pit of his stomach weren’t it. It feels so easy, like everything else between them. Harry’s hands are holding his waist impossibly tight, like he’s trying to ground them, which is good because Niall thinks he might be able to float with the feelings sparking in him.

“’M sorry.” Niall breaths out once he pulls away and opens his eyes to meet Harry’s. The air around them feels different, like a charge of something has created a impenetrable force field around them.

“Don’t be.” Harry says with a slow shake of his head. Niall forces his eyes to look away from Harry’s, and sees the spot where Zayn had originally stood is empty. He breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Niall offers. Harry seems to still be frozen in place, but he manages a quick nod.

“Okay.”

X
Niall has no idea how a night of dancing like an idiot with his best friend has turned into this. He can’t get the door open fast enough before he attaches his lips once more to Harry’s, and pushes him against the now closed door. It had been all Niall could think of the whole car ride back home. It’s like once he’s gotten a taste of kissing Harry, he can’t seem to get enough. And now he has to make up for all the years he's been missing out on.

He uses the hand crushed in between their bodies to unbutton the left over buttons on Harry’s ridiculous shirt (it's only like four so..). He traces a hand over the exposed skin of his chest, and he can’t believe how new yet familiar this all feels. It’s not the first time Niall’s seen Harry shirtless, of course it isn’t, but while other times he’s made fun of his stupid tattoos now he’s never wanted nothing more than to kiss and bite at the swallows on his chest or that dumb butterfly ("it's a moth," Harry groans) on his stomach.

“Are you going to fuck me, or just stare?” Harry says in an already raspy tone. Niall gasps a little at Harry’s forwardness but smirks anyways.
“Your room or mine?” Niall asks with a raised eyebrow. Harry surges forward and knocks their lips together once more in a kiss that’s hungrier than the ones they’ve shared.

“Couch.” Harry answers, and pushes Niall back until the back of his knees hit said couch.

Harry’s body hovers over Niall’s as he helps him out of his shirt and then Harry’s long fingers reach the button of his jeans and-
“Wait.” Niall’s hand stops Harry’s with a tight grip. “We’re not—like—we’re not pretending anymore right?”

Harry’s expression turns soft and fond as he looks down at Niall, “I never was.” He says. Harry swallows all of Niall’s questions in a kiss, because he’s not ready to answer those questions tonight. He wants Niall and would rather they get naked then talk about feelings.

“You were right Haz.” Niall says in between small pants as Harry pulls Niall’s jeans and pants down, and bites at the exposed skin of his hips.

“Valentine’s day isn’t too bad if you spend it with the right person.”

X