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“See? That’s a start!”
Emma’s heart swells from satisfaction. She did it; she made fragile peace with Regina. Elsa was right: she just needed to talk to her honestly. Emma’s not good at being vulnerable and she’s proud she got this out of her chest. The thought of Regina being her enemy again has been agitating her far too much lately. She wants Regina on her side, at her side, as equal and friend. She had been ready to do virtually anything for that.
Her grin disappears when she sees that Regina is avoiding her stare, her head turned to the side, a hand on her hip for composure, blinking forcefully. Emma’s heart misses a beat.
“Regina?” she asks quietly, stepping towards her.
Regina wants to speak, but resolves not to, perhaps afraid of the sound her voice will produce. She steps back until she’s against the mirror, her body stiffened, she seems to want to be anywhere but here. Emma wonders how the situation could have reversed so quickly, but then she sees them. The tears. Regina’s ashamed of them, and Emma can almost hear the sound of her own heart breaking.
“Regina…” she repeats in a whisper, stepping a bit closer.
Regina wipes her tears quickly, as discreetly as she can, and clears her voice.
“You still here?” she asks, still not managing to look at Emma.
Emma’s standing just in front of her now. On an impulse, she takes Regina’s right hand with both of hers. Was it her words that put Regina in this state? Is she crying out of emotion? Has no one ever told Regina those kinds of things?
“I’m your friend. Always will be,” she answers both as an answer to her question and because…
Because, she realises, she wants Regina to feel loved.
Still looking at the floor, Regina squeezes Emma’s hands in hers. The sensation tightens Emma’s throat until she’s almost sure she’s going to cry, too. The silence between them is a cloud of untold feelings, gratefulness, fear, affection. Regina seems so distressed, Emma takes another step and closes her arms around her.
Regina doesn’t move at first, and then she puts her hands on Emma’s back and it feels so right and so intimate, it overwhelms Emma and her eyes water. She would make fun of both of them, quarrelling as they were earlier tonight and now weeping in each other’s arms, but there’s just too much tension for any kind of joke. Suddenly Regina presses her hands on Emma’s back, drawing Emma closer, letting go, admitting she wants and needs this proximity. Emma’s heart is pounding in her chest – it’s like they’re both realising that whatever is between them is far deeper than they thought. In response, Emma presses her temple against Regina’s hair and lightly strokes her back.
They hang on to each other, forgetting the rest of the world.
Too soon, Regina releases her grip on Emma, but Emma’s not ready to let go. She’s confused by her own feelings. This felt too good, she had never planned that. She draws back her face, unable to step away, and when Regina doesn’t try to escape her embrace any more than that, Emma knows.
Their noses brush. Emma can no longer feel any part of her body, or maybe she feels them too much. Her entire being is drawn to the woman facing her. Their mouths look for each other hesitantly. It’s not too late to leave, they can still avoid crossing the line.
But can they?
Emma takes a deep breath and delicately sets her hand on Regina’s cheek. It’s like catching a butterfly in the hollow of one’s hand – Regina’s face stops drifting, and Emma can capture her lips with hers, just like that, as if everything in their lives had led them to this natural moment.
The kiss deepens; Emma can barely take all those feelings in. Regina’s hands land on her waist, and her own hand slides on Regina’s jaw. Their mouths part, and meet again, and again, in a way that is both beguiled and quiet. How Emma ignored how much she had craved doing that is a mystery.
Finally, Regina’s fingers crawl up to Emma’s neck and she breaks the kiss. They’re both heavily breathing, but Regina still can’t meet Emma’s eyes.
“What are we doing?” she asks, gasping.
“Seems pretty clear to me.”
“You’re – you’re with the pirate.”
Emma closes her eyes for a second.
“Regina, look at me. Look at me.”
She reluctantly obeys. There’s such dread in her eyes, Emma understands why she’s been avoiding her stare.
“What I feel right now… I never felt it with him. Not as… intensely.”
Regina opens her mouth, then shakes her head.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better."
Emma frowns. Then she cups Regina’s face, and kisses her again, as slowly, as delicately as she can, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs until she feels that Regina’s skin is wet again.
“Don’t you believe in that?” she whispers.
Regina doesn’t answer, but Emma wipes her tears. Their foreheads touch, and they wait in silence, trying to process the situation.
“I need to think,” Regina finally says.
Emma nods.
“Me too. But I will not forget this,” she warns.
They step away from each other, and Regina manages a little smile.
“You better not.”