Chapter Text
Doyoung could not sleep at all last night
He is very aware that it is finally ‘that’ time of the year already and it makes him frustrated, sad, angry and hopeless.
His minds and thoughts were already imprinted with him. Always.
He misses him, very much
He misses his laugh
His scent
His laugh
His smile
And his sparkling eyes that contains universe
Doyoung miss all the things about him
The way he was humming his favourite songs everytime he felt happy
The way he was snuggling to Doyoung’s arm everytime he felt exhausted
The way he was smiling brightly everytime he saw Doyoung
And the way he was laughing everytime Doyoung shamelessly throwed his dad jokes
Doyoung misses all of those
He misses all the precious moments they spent together
The moment when they first held hands after going home from the academy
The moment when they shared their first kiss in the park
The moment when they went to the amusement park but turned out he’s afraid of fast rides
The moment when they skipped out the academy and went dates instead
The moment when they celebrated their first anniversary
And the moment they promised to be always be there for each other
Oh, Doyoung really misses and loves him so much.
His Bang Yedam
His Yedamie hyung
His boyfriend
His love of life
It is already 8 in the morning, and Doyoung is still in his bed, unmoving, and does not have a plan to do anything.
Especially today, this special yet heartbreaking day for him.
He heard his phone ringing for the 7th time, and still contemplating whether he have to pick it up or just ignore it.
The phone keep ringing for a long time, and then quiet down, again.
He does not pick it up.
A minute later, his phone ringing again, and he finally gives up, and takes that call.
“Fucking finally. About time you pick up your call!”
“Yeah hyung, mianhe. I did not hear your calls earlier”
“Such a liar. But at least, you finally pick it up, asshole”
“Yeah hyung, I said mianhe”
“Alright then, since you are cute and hyung adore you so much, I will forgive you this time”
“Thank you, my cutie Hyunsuk hyung. Love you too”
“Nah don’t call me cutie. I am a hottie, bitch”
“Yeah,yeah, I know”
“Alright. So how are you today?”
“I am fine hyung”
“No, you sound you are not”
“No hyung. I am really fine”
“Alright then. So, will you come today?”
Hearing his hyung’s expected question, Doyoung suddenly went silent.
“……….”
“Hello, Doyoungie, are you still there?”
“Hello,,, Kim Doyoung?”
“Ah yeah hyung. I am here”
“So???”
“I think you already know the answer, Hyung”
“Huft. So I guess you’re not coming again?”
“Yes”
“But Kim Doyoung, it’s been 3 years already! I think it’s about the time you see him”
“You know that it’s still not the time yet, hyung”
“But don’t you miss him? Because I know, that Yedam must be missing you a lot!”
“You know me the best hyung, and I know that you are also know how much I miss him. How much I am longing for him”
“Yeah, hyung know. That’s why, you should see him and stop torturing yourself like this!”
“Please hyung, we are not having this fight again!”
“Hyung know, that’s why, you should stop being a stubborn!”
“I AM NOT BEING A STUBBORN HYUNG! I’VE PROMISED HIM BUT I STILL COULD NOT FULLFILL IT! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SEE HIM, HYUNG? HOW?”
Without Doyoung realized, he’s been shouting to Hyunsuk when he’s stating his reason.
His rationale to not seeing Yedam again, this year.
The guilt then washing him over.
He should not do this to his hyung, especially to Hyunsuk hyung whom always beside him in his dark and depressed times.
“Mianhe hyung, I suddenly shouting to you. I did not intend it. I really did not.”
“It is okay Doyoungie, hyung also sorry for being the one that stubborn and did not consider your feeling at all”
“No hyung. It is not your fault”
“Alright then. So if you’re not come, I guess it will be only me, Jihoon and Junkyu again that will come to see him.”
“Yes hyung. Please be careful on your way”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about that. Anyway, reply junkyu’s and jihoon’s messages ASAP or else they will go there and barging your room”
“Roger that, hyung”
“Okay then. hyung will talk to you again later. Don’t forget to have your breakfast!”
“Yes hyung. Thank you”
The call finally ended.
Remembering Hyunsuk’s warning, he then reply to Junkyu’s and Jihoon’s messages that actually already bombarded his inbox.
The content of their messages are actually similar with what he and Hyunsuk had just talking about in the phone.
So like template, he replies to both of them and saying sorry that he could not see that person again this time.
Ah, as Hyunsuk hyung said, it’s already been 3 years, but for Doyoung, it still felt like yesterday.
He still remember everything vividly and that’s always torturing him.
And the fact that it’s already been 3 years, but he still could not fulfill his promise to him, make him more miserable and guilty.
The promise that he gave him on the days when that person felt sad whenever he remember about his mother.
He promised him, that he will take him there.
Take him to the place that he wanted to visit the most.
Take him to see the northern lights.