Chapter Text
"Alexius sends his best wishes, and Felix states that he's… apparently seeing a very nice young woman. A cousin of a friend of a friend or something. They met at a party," Dorian said, rubbing his eyes.
Fenris glanced over. Dorian leaned back against the wooden headboard of his bed, knees drawn up, forearms resting on them as he flipped through the letter they received that morning. They hadn't received many in the weeks following their departure, not often staying in one spot long enough for a postman to find them. Now they found themselves just outside Kirkwall in a disused fisherman's hut that stank of saltwater and seaweed. With the weather growing colder the hut was likely abandoned for the season. A nearby town, not large enough to be called a city, contained a grocer's and a post office, and they'd decided to stop for a time in order to figure out their next step.
A single candle burned on the nightstand between their beds which were made up of mattresses stuffed with hay and dressed with scratchy woolen blankets. Fenris thought Dorian would complain about their accommodations and was surprised when he said nothing other than to state how cold it was starting to get. The hut comprised only two rooms: an all-purpose area with an ice box (empty now), a table, and a beaten up sofa that had seen better days. The bedroom they currently occupied was just large enough to fit the two beds, and out back there was an enclosed privy and a water pump.
Fenris, who grew up in a similar house as Dorian, wasn't used to the inconveniences either. He was, however, used to discomfort, and the lumpy mattress hardly bothered him. When they started their journey they stayed at proper inns. Certain places in Tevinter and Nevarra gave Dorian free room and board simply because he was a member of House Pavus, showing off an amulet with his family crest. The novelty of such a thing wore off quickly however, and the further south and further east they went, the less he even bothered taking it out of his bag. They spent the money Alexius gave them on more modest accommodations and less lavish food, sometimes skipping meals altogether. Fenris wasn't sure what Dorian was trying to prove, what he hoped to accomplish. He also wasn't sure if it was his place to ask.
Dorian sighed, head falling back against the wall, letter crinkling in his hand. "What do you think we'll find in Kirkwall?"
Fenris shrugged, dragging a whetstone across one of his daggers carefully. He used it last to gut a small pig he caught for their supper. Thankfully that was all the action they saw so far. "A lot of scared and angry people who will be looking to blame any mage for their troubles."
Dorian looked over at him, smirking. "You're worried about me?"
Fenris glanced up. "Yes. The Circles have seceded. Mages are being branded apostates. Even if that wasn't the case, an Imperial mage outside of Tevinter always brings suspicion. We never stayed outside the country for long. There was only so much protection being a magister held. And you are no magister."
"I'm technically not even a Pavus anymore," Dorian said bitterly. "But you shouldn't worry."
Fenris grunted. "You carry a staff. That's enough for the templars here to arrest you."
Dorian laughed. "I'd like to see them try."
"I wouldn't."
"Maker's breath. If I'd known you would've been such a wet blanket, I'd have left you in Minrathous."
Fenris looked up, scowling, dropping the stone to his lap.
Dorian laughed. "The look on your face. All right, all right," he relented, hand up in surrender. He folded the letter back into its envelope and tucked it into his bag. "I'll be careful. Honestly, you're worse than Alexius. If he wasn't so against blood magic, I'd have said he supplanted his personality into your body somehow."
"I am supposed to be keeping you safe. A task which you seem to enjoy making more difficult every day." He picked up the whetstone and packed it away, inspecting the blade before sheathing it.
Dorian lifted the covers and settled down underneath them, wrapping an arm around his pillow, trying to get comfortable. "Face it. You enjoy it when I make your life more difficult. It would be so dreadfully boring without me. Attending parties with Alexius, looking after Felix and his new sweetheart. Helping them pick out just the right outfit for the next dinner with Erimond." He paused, making a face. "Having to deal with Erimond himself. Bleh. Surely you have to see that being with me, even in some rundown shack on the coast of the Waking Sea is preferable to all that."
Fenris laughed lightly, setting the dagger under his own pillow before lying down, pulling his blankets up. Dorian was making light, but Fenris knew he appreciated the company. There was a slight uncertainty hidden beneath the arrogance and bravado. "I could do without the smell of fish, though."
"Granted, it's not the height of luxury," Dorian agreed, blowing out the candle. "We'll go to the city tomorrow. I promise I'll be discreet-"
Fenris snorted.
"I resent that. I promise I'll be discreet," he repeated. "We'll make subtle inquiries as to what's happening in Orlais. I'd say we should've gone there first, but I'd rather not situate myself in the middle of a civil war."
"Not to mention how much the Orlesians would just love you," Fenris muttered.
He peered through the darkness, watching Dorian. The last several weeks had been odd, though not unpleasant. He still hadn't forgotten the night Dorian kissed him and wondered if Dorian thought about it as well. They never talked about it, never brought it up. And why would they? Dorian apologized and there was no need to speak of it further, was there? Yet Fenris wondered what would happen if he asked about it. The more courageous and perhaps stupid part of him wondered what would happen if he kissed Dorian now. But he wouldn't. Dorian trusted him, as Alexius did. He was there to fulfil a purpose to keep him safe and bring him home at the end of all this. Whatever 'this' was.
Dorian sighed. "I miss it."
"Of course you do. It's home."
"Do you?" Dorian asked, looking at him.
Fenris wasn't sure of Dorian could see him through the darkness. "I do. I miss the estate. My duties."
"I'm sorry to have pulled you away."
"I'm not saying that I regret this," Fenris added quickly. "I would have come, regardless… Alexius did give me a choice."
"And you chose to come with me. You must be mad."
"I enjoy your company." Fenris blushed as soon as the sentence left his mouth. He didn't wish to make Dorian uncomfortable, but traveling with him, staying with him in close quarters, it became harder not to focus on his feelings for him. He was no longer a slave, the last restraints of whatever was holding him back snapped with a single piece of paper signed by Alexius, proclaiming him as member of the Liberati class. What started as a tenuous attraction toward Dorian slowly developed into emotional attachment, and it was growing larger and more rapidly than it would have had he remained a slave. Freedom was a noble ideal, but he wasn't sure it suited him. It was terrifying.
"And I yours," Dorian said, smiling. He rolled over. "In the morning, we'll go into town for those apple tarts you like and I'll send a letter off to Alexius. We won't linger in Kirkwall."
"And after Kirkwall?" Fenris asked.
"Who knows? Perhaps Ferelden. What Alexius says about it, their king has a rather liberal view on mage rights. We should be safer there. I can't say we'll find much in the way of culture, though."
Fenris wanted to reach out across the small gap in the beds, to touch Dorian's bare shoulder. He didn't, wouldn't be able to explain his impulse. "I don't mind."
"I do wonder if what they say about it is all accurate. Fereldan dog-lords traipsing about the country with their primitive sticks and rocks as weapons, barely a step up from the barbarians they evolved from, flinging their own feces as a form of trade disputes."
"…I'd not heard the rumors."
Dorian laughed, then yawned. "I'm sure that's all they are. Wake me if you rise first. I want to try to scrub the stench of saltwater out of my hair before we get on the move again."
"Of course."
He fell silent, listening to Dorian's breathing even out and turned over, falling asleep thinking about their eventual return to Tevinter.