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Cobra didn’t think about her often. Not anymore at least, or so he liked to think. But that was a lie he told himself.
Every time he smelled the scent of strawberries, memories of her came to mind. The way her soft skin and hair smelled used to make him go wild; the way her skin felt under his touch, under his kisses. That was impossible for him to completely forget, even if he tried. That wasn’t all that reminded him of her, though. Every time he saw chestnut-colored hair, or caught the scent of her favorite cake, or stared at the full moon… it all reminded him of her. Even the rain. Especially the rain.
Today seemed like a particularly awful day for memories to resurface.
“Hey, Cobra!” The shorter man looked over his shoulder to glance at Yamato. “Why don’t you come back inside?” his friend asked, “Tetsu’s paying the next round of beers.”
“Thinking,” was all he said, lowering the cigarette in-between his lips with a puff of smoke.
“About?”
He shrugged with a grunt. He wasn’t in the mood for talking.
Yamato said nothing as he approached him, stopping beside him and staring at the rain like he was. Cobra knew his best friend didn’t need words to know exactly what was going through his mind. It was no secret to his gang that he got moody when it rained.
But few knew why.
“…Thinking of her?” Yamato hesitated to ask like he was fearful of his reaction. Cobra couldn’t blame him; if anything could put him in an even worse mood was the simple mention of her .
Especially today.
Cobra shrugged again, taking a drag from his cigarette one last time before putting it off in a nearby ashtray. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he was also aware that he needed to.
He needed to before he did something he would regret.
“She’s back in town,” he said in a low tone. “Dan saw her near her old house.”
“Are you gonna talk to her?”
“No,” he shook his head.
“But if she’s back, maybe–”
“I won’t.”
“But what if she changed her mind?” Yamato pressed on. “What if she’s here for you?”
Cobra had thought about it, of course he had. His heart filled with hope as soon as Dan told him she was back, but he couldn’t let that hope take over him. She had broken his heart once. He wouldn’t let her broke it twice.
“No,” he shook his head. “Whatever she’s here for has nothing to do with me.”
His friend sighed but said nothing else, a large palm squeezing Cobra’s shoulder before he went back inside Itokan.
Cobra stayed outside, head still full with unwanted thoughts and old memories. He had no use inside the diner – messing up everyone’s good mood – so he lit another cigarette and let his mind wander.
He remembered the day she left his life like it was yesterday.
It was a rainy night like this one. She had been acting weird for days, all taciturn and already asleep when he got home from Mugen business. He felt like he had done something wrong – but he trusted her to tell him if that was the case – so he never brought it up.
Biggest mistake of his life.
When he got home that night, she was gone. Her clothes were no longer in the closet beside his. Everything that reminded him of her, everything that belonged to her, was gone. Only her strawberry scent lingered in the air.
That, and the letter with his name on it.
“Hello, Junpei.”
He froze, cigarette in-between his lips as he glanced to his left, eyes wide. There she was, standing in the rain under an umbrella, looking exactly like he remembered. Her hair was longer, but still the chestnut color he dreamed about, and her style was the same. He recognized the red scarf he had gifted her so many years ago, now wrapped around her neck and looking old from use.
But her eyes were different. There was no warmth in them, no more of that love he used to feel every time he caught her looking at him. There was a sadness in her brown eyes that made his earth ache. But she was back.
She was back.
“Emi.”
“Long time no see.”
He stood frozen in place as she got closer, eyes locked on his. He wanted to say something – anything – but no word got out. He wasn’t even sure if he was capable of speech or movement anymore. It felt like a punch to the gut to hear that she was back, but seeing her? Actually, seeing her?
It felt like being hit by a truck.
“Emi,” the only thing he could say was her name.
A soft smile took over her face as she stopped in front of him, the rain from her umbrella falling on his head. But he didn’t care about the water running down his neck. He didn’t care about anything but the heart-wrenching feeling that made his heart race and tears fill his eyes. He thought he was over her – done with her – but he quickly realized he wasn’t. He was so not over the girl he loved.
The girl he still loves.
“It’s nice to see you again,” Emi said as she closed her umbrella, standing beside him under the awning of the diner. She looked so normal, so calm; like there had been nothing between them. Like he was little more than an acquaintance. “How’ve you been doing?”
That made him raise a brow. How was he doing? How did she think he was doing after the woman he thought he would spend the rest of his life with abandoned him?
“How I–,” he gulped, hands fisting by his side as he tried not to let his emotions consume him. “How the hell do you think I’m doing?” he asked in a rough tone, a bitter smirk on his lips. He noticed the expression on her face sour, but he was too mad to care. “What’re you doing here? Why did you come back?”
He watched as she hesitated, staring at the rain with a deep breath before turning back to him with a small smile.
“Would it be bad if I said that I’m back for you?”
“It would make you a liar.”
“Is it that hard to believe?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation, “you made your decision when you left me without as much as a proper goodbye. You can’t just come back and act like nothing happened.”
“I miss you, Junpei…”
He shook his head, almost covering his ears like a kid when he heard her say his name like that. He couldn’t let that part of him that missed her – that would do everything to get her back – win over him. He couldn’t let himself steep that low. He was a grown man now, a leader, with way more responsibilities than he had before as a love-stricken kid.
“Go away, Emi,” he said as he turned to go back inside Itokan. He wanted nothing else to do with this conversation. Now all he wanted was to drink and forget with the hope of never seeing her again.
“Can we-”
He ignored her words as he closed the door behind him, the talking and laughter of his friends greeting him as he got in. No one approached him as he sat down at the bar, but he could feel Yamato’s eyes on his back. He hoped his friend would be wise enough not to ask questions. All he wanted was a little moment of peace, but he knew that questions he didn’t want to answer would be asked if he left right now.
So Cobra closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to let her go, to bury every single memory of her. Only then would he be free.
The door of the bar opening made him freeze in his seat. He didn’t dare turn around, sure of who it was, so he kept his eyes forward and asked Naomi for a beer. She gave it to him as she prepared to greet the new client out of habit before the words died on her lips. Cobra’s body tensed up as the laughter died and the whole room filled with silence.
He wanted to run now more than ever.
“Emi,” Yamato greeted, “wasn’t expecting to see you back in town.”
“I missed my old friends,” Emi said. Cobra listened as she walked across the room before sitting somewhere behind him. “How’s everyone doing?”
“Oh, you know, same as ever,” Yamato replied, a snarky tone clear in his voice. “What about you? City life wasn’t what you were expecting?”
“It was everything I hoped for, actually,” hearing her voice made him want to cry, “I’m very happy with my life in the city. Things are much better there.”
“Then what are you actually doing here?” Cobra hardly recognized his own voice. The tension in the air was palpable as he stood up from his stool and finally faced her once again. “Why are you back in the shitty little town you ran away from? I know it wasn’t to see your poor and uneducated friends. It definitely wasn’t to see your gangster of an ex-boyfriend. So why are you here, Emi?”
“I’ve told you-”
“Don’t lie to me,” he growled.
He rarely raised his voice. He didn’t even talk much as it was, but completely losing a grip on his emotions was something that happened rare and far between. But he felt it now, rage and sadness consuming him as he looked at her, the face of the woman he loved.
The face of the woman he hated.
But he knew he shouldn’t hate her. She wanted more in life than to stay in that little town, working a simple job while being the wife of a low-life gangster. She wanted to go to university and meet new people, and travel, and live her life differently than what he wanted. He couldn’t blame her for that.
But fuck, did it make him want to curse God.
“Junpei–”
Cobra cut her off before she could finish, barging outside without a word. He gasped as the cold rain hit his face, ignoring the voices calling behind him as he started running. He didn’t care if he left his bike behind or that the rain was completely soaking his clothes. He had to run, exhaust himself before he went back and begged her for forgiveness. Begged her to come back.
He felt like he was about to snap. He was already stressed with everything that had to do with his gang, everything that had to do with SWORD. Then Noboru happened and it was like Emi breaking up with him all over again. Losing his friend like that, have him betray them like that, hurt almost as much as the love of his life leaving him. And now she was back and Noboru wasn’t, and he felt like he was at the end of his line.
A thunder broke him out of his thoughts, and he stopped, gasping for air and legs cramping as he realized where he was. He looked around the decrepit warehouse area right next to the docks, confused about why he was there. The waves and sea salt mixing with the rainwater covered every inch of his body, but he didn’t care about the cold.
He screamed. He screamed as loud as he could, barely hearing his own screams over the sound of the waves and the thunder. He didn’t think as he kicked things around, the will to destroy something taking over him. Cobra let himself feel everything he had been bottling up until that moment, not caring about who might be watching. But he knew he was alone, so he kicked around, sobbed, and yelled until he felt like his vocal cords were about to snap.
He fell to his knees sometime later, almost feeling like he wasn’t in control of his own body. His mind was hazy, his throat was on fire and his body was cold. All he could feel was pain and the rain. Nothing else existed. For the first time in years, Cobra felt completely alone, with no one by his side.
He had no idea how much time he spent there, alone with his monsters. A hand touched his shoulder but he didn’t react, someone that he identified as Yamato talking to him in a panicked tone, eyes full of worry. Other familiar faces approached him, pulling him up, but he couldn’t see. It didn’t take long until everything he saw was darkness, dreams filled with nightmares.
His head hurt, his body hurt, his throat hurt. Everything hurt, but at least he wasn’t cold anymore.
Cobra opened his eyes with effort and looked around. Small room, a closet against a wall, a bed and bedside table on another, and a chair with clothes in a corner. Simple, bare. His own bedroom. The small room was dimly lit, with the curtains drawn almost all the way down. He knew it was the day after by the thin ray of sunshine that illuminated the place, giving him a sense of time. He closed his eyes with a grunt, feeling like he had come back from the dead.
Memories of last night flashed before his eyes, making him take a deep breath as he regretted every single life choice. He lost control; that could never happen again. He had to leave the past in the past and focus on the future, it didn’t matter who might try to mess with it.
He had to talk to Emi and make that clear.
A sudden thirst took over him, and he looked around for something to drink. He sighed in relief as he grabbed the full glass of water on the nightstand, wincing as the cool liquid went down his sore throat.
A sound coming from outside the door forced him to sit up, wondering who was looking after him. He was no longer in his soaked clothes, now dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, hair and skin completely dry. He remembered Yamato’s face as he laid on the docks, looking at him with eyes full of concern. It made him feel guilty; he shouldn’t have made his friends worry like that.
He was about to stand up when a booming voice startled him back to a sitting position.
“Leave!”
That was Yamato’s voice, no doubt about it. His brow furrowed as he struggled to get up, making his way to the door before freezing, fingers on the handle.
“I won’t leave till I talk to him!”
Emi’s voice. His hand slowly slipped away from the doorknob, balling into a fist by his side; she shouldn’t be here. Not in what used to be their shared home. Memories of her still lingered in this same room. A painting she had made on one wall; her old pillow in his bed; a box full of things she had forgotten in the back of the closet. The courage and determination to talk to her evaporated from his mind. He didn’t even want to hear her voice again.
He turned to go back to bed; maybe he could sleep his problems away. Things were sure to be better once he woke up again.
“You have said enough!” his friend said, his voice reaching Cobra’s ears. “Now fucking leave before you make shit even worse!”
“Lower your voice!” he heard Emi say in a barely contained whisper.
“I will when you get your ass out of here!” Yamato said, now in a more leveled tone. “You can’t just show up after four years and expect him to take you back after the shit you did. Go away, Emi. You’re hurting him.”
There was a moment of silence followed by words that Cobra couldn’t quite hear. He reached for the handle again before getting startled by a door banging close. He stood there, unsure of what to do. Was she gone? Was he alone now? He hesitantly opened the door, glancing into the short hallway that led to the small living room. He couldn’t see anyone, but he could see what he assumed to be Yamato’s shadow as the man talked on the phone.
“She just walked out,” he said in a low tone, “ follow her and check if what Chiharu said is true…” there was a pause where Cobra heard him sigh. “I know, Tetsu, but we need to know for sure. If it’s true then… we’ll figure something out.”
What was true? What were they trying to figure out? What were they hiding from him? Cobra completely opened the door, stepping into the hallway as he made his way to the living room. He faced his best friend who looked at him with wide eyes, phone still in hand before he hung up and opened his mouth.
“What did Chiharu say?” he asked first in a gruff voice, throat hurting even without raising his tone.
“You should be in bed,” Yamato said as if he hadn’t heard a thing, “what happened yesterday-”
“What did he say?” he pressed on, taking a step closer to the taller man. “What do I need to know?”
“Nothing,” his friend shook his head, hands going on his shoulders as he tried to make Cobra turn around, “it’s probably just a mistake.”
“What is?”
“Cobra–”
Yamato bit his tongue at Cobra’s glare, swallowing the words he wanted to say.
You could hear a feather drop in the tense silence that followed, Cobra’s eyes locked into Yamato’s as both men communicated without words. He knew his friend wanted to protect him from something, but he couldn’t let him. Not like this. Not about this.
Yamato was the first to break eye contact, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Chiharu saw…” he hesitated, “he says he saw Emi with Noboru.”
Cobra froze. He knew what that could mean; what it meant. But no, he shook his head, – feeling nauseous all of a sudden – it was just a coincidence. They used to be friends too, so it wasn’t anything bad. Just two old friends meeting up. She couldn’t possibly be involved with them. He refused to believe that.
He couldn’t have another person he loved betray him like that.
“Cobra, what do you think you’re doing?”
He ignored Yamato’s words as he rushed back into his bedroom, grabbing some fresh clothes before getting rid of his current ones. He struggled to get dressed as his hands shook, sweat running down his back. If from nerves or a fever, he had no idea.
“I’m leaving,” he said as he shoved his friend out of the way. Cobra needed to see her. He needed to know.
Emi tried to control her tears as she walked down the street. It was a rainy day just like yesterday, cold. She sniffled as she repositioned the red scarf around her neck, trying to keep the chilly wind away.
She remembered when Cobra had given her that exact scarf, what looked like almost a lifetime ago. He had seen her walk around in a day much like this one, shivering from the cold in her favorite dress. He happened to be passing by and offered her his own scarf, telling her to keep it with that dreamy smile of his. They were still teenagers, not dating yet, but she had liked him ever since she could remember. That scarf meant so much to her; it was nothing expensive, but the emotional value was priceless.
A honk startled her, breaking her out of her thoughts, and she looked to the side to see an SUV stop beside her. She watched with wide eyes as a window rolled down, revealing Nikaido greeting her from the driver’s seat.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Emi rushed to say, panic in her voice as she looked up and down the street. There was no one in sight, but that meant nothing in Sannoh. “Please go away before–”
“Get in, Emi,” Nikaido ordered before she could finish her sentence, “we have a lot to discuss.”
She hesitated; if anyone saw her with Nikaido, everything would have been for nothing. She got in as fast as she could, praying to every God in existence that no one would see them together. Emi sighed in relief as she realized that the car had tinted windows, making it impossible for anyone to see inside. Nikaido started the car, and she felt her panic subside as they drove away from Sannoh.
“I thought we were supposed to meet at the hotel,” she asked as she moved across his lap to close the driver’s window. He watched her with a raised brow, a slight smirk on his lips like he found her distress amusing. It would have annoyed her further if she didn’t have her mind filled with more important stuff. “If anyone saw you–”
“ ‘I can’t do this anymore. ’” he quoted. Emi tried not to let embarrassment take over her as he pulled out his phone and showed her the screen, “ ‘I don’t want to hurt him anymore’ . This was the message I got from you at three in the morning last night.”
Emi cringed at her own stupidity. She barely remembered sending those texts. She had been so upset about Cobra’s outburst, so terrified that she had made him hurt himself, that she panicked. She couldn’t stop crying until she got the news that Cobra was back home and safe.
“I- I thought I could do this but–”
“–You still have feelings for him,” Nikaido added, focusing on her with a serious expression. It wasn’t even a question. Not like he had to ask; he knew her too well. “I thought we had an agreement, Emi. You help the Iemura Group get rid of Cobra and his little gang, and we help you pay off your debt. Simple.”
“I know,” she whispered, “I’m sorry.” She regretted ever leaving Sannoh. Life before was not what she wanted, but things weren’t that much better once she moved to the city; then they got worse. She did not doubt that she would have ended up working the streets if Nikaido hadn’t taken her under his wing. And now she couldn’t even repay him. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he shook his head, “I’m disappointed.”
“I’m really sorry,” Emi said, covering her face. When would she stop screwing things up? “I tried, I swear I did, but he… I thought I didn’t love him anymore.”
Nikaido huffed, hand raising to lay on top of her thigh like he usually did when they drove alone.
“You say his name in your sleep sometimes, you know that?” the horror must’ve been clear on her face because he laughed. “I had my doubts you would go through with this, but I thought it was worth a shot. I’ll just have to be stricter with Noboru from now on. He won’t let me down.”
Silence reigned after that, the only sound being the engine of the car as they drove through the small town. Emi watched the streets where she had grown up, where so much had happened. Her mother and grandmother had lived in Sannoh, married in Sannoh, and died in Sannoh. She always wanted something different for herself, but not this. Never this. Not betray the people she used to love.
The people she still loved.
She remembered meeting Noboru, the shock she felt when she got word of what he was doing. He looked different, that gentle smile and kind personality beaten to the ground and replaced by something dark. It broke her heart, but she couldn’t blame him; she was doing exactly the same.
No. She was worse.
“What will happen to me, now?” she asked in an apathetic tone.
“The Iemura Group doesn’t take well to failure,” Nikaido said with a sigh as he handed her a tissue, “and neither do I. They’ll want to punish you in some way, but I’m sure I can convince them to be a little lenient. You’re under my orders, after all.”
Emi bit her lip. She was expecting a punishment. She almost craved it in a masochistic way, something that would absolve her from all her wrongdoings.
The roaring of a motorbike made her jump in her seat. She could only stare as a familiar bike stopped right in front of the car, making Nikaido break abruptly. She watched with mouth agape as Cobra left his vehicle, approaching the driver’s side before punching the glass. It didn’t break, but the look of pure rage on his face told her that he wouldn’t stop until it did.
“Get out!” he shouted with a kick to the door. “I know you have her!”
Nikaido scoffed at his demeanor, amused by the way things were unfolding. Emi sat frozen in her seat, incapable of moving. Terrified of moving. Cobra following her could only mean one thing:
He knew.
“Your ex is quite something, isn’t he?” Nikaido said as he moved to open the glove compartment, a flash of silver in his hand. “A pity he brought fists to a gunfight.”
Emi gasped as she saw the gun, immediately grabbing onto the man’s wrist as he got ready to open the door. She couldn’t let him shoot Cobra. If he died she might as well.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a frantic tone, trying to pry his fingers open. “You promised me you wouldn’t–”
“I’m not going to kill him,” he said as he snapped his hand free from her grasp, finally opening the door, “I’m just going to hurt him a little.”
“Nikaido!”
He ignored her pleas as he closed the door behind him, gun pointing straight at Cobra. The blond man was staring at him like he didn’t even notice the weapon, eyes glancing over the taller man’s shoulder as Emi got out of the car. The look in his eyes broke her heart into another million pieces. The rage, the sadness, the love; it was all emanating from him in waves.
“Junpei, please go away,” Emi said as she slowly approached them, not wanting to risk the chance of Nikaido shooting him by accident. “Don’t do this.”
“I’m not going anywhere until I talk to you,” he barked, frustration and hurt apparent in his eyes. In all the years she had known him, she had never seen him like this, looking so out of control. Emi wished now more than ever to go back in time; she should’ve never left. She should’ve stayed in Sannoh, married her high school sweetheart and started a family, just like the other women in her life did before her.
“Junpei–”
“You either leave,” Nikaido said, taking a step forward, “or I shoot. Which one is going to be?”
She knew Nikaido was bluffing, or at least she hoped he was. But Emi knew that nothing good could come from a gun in that scenario, especially given Cobra’s attitude when faced with it.
“Shoot me then, because I’m not leaving!”
The last thing she wanted was for this to end in bloodshed.
“Nikaido, let me talk to him,” she begged, “Please, just hide that gun before anyone sees.”
The man glanced at her with a raised brow before lowering his arm and hiding the gun from sight. She immediately felt herself relax, glad that at least murder was off the table.
That was until she sensed a swift movement in her periphery.
“Junpei don’t–”
Emi watched as Cobra punched Nikaido right in the face, making the man stumble backward before he tried to hit him again in the jaw. This time Nikaido swiftly avoided the punch before throwing one himself, hitting Cobra straight in the nose. The man barely reacted before kicking the taller man in the stomach, pushing him against the car.
That’s when Emi saw Nikaido take out his gun again. Now she had to act.
“Stop, both of you!” she ordered in a trembling voice, one hand against the barrel of the gun and the other pressed on Cobra’s chest.
“Are you crazy?” both men said at the same time. It would have made her laugh if the situation wasn’t so dramatic.
“Emi, get out of the way,” Cobra said as he pulled her by the wrist to his side. She batted his hand away, stomping her feet on the ground before pushing both men in opposite ways. They barely reacted to her actions, annoying her further.
“I want you to stop!” she screamed. “Both of you. This is ridiculous. Just please, stop before someone gets hurt!”
A silence followed, the men now focused on her, each with their own expressions of rage and concern. She couldn’t have them fight like this, because of her. Everything bad that was happening was her fault; she couldn’t do this anymore.
“Nikaido,” she turned to the man, holding the hand with the gun and pulling it down, “please just get in the car and drive away.” He looked at her for a moment, a question in his eyes. She squeezed his hand as she gave him a soft smile. “I’ll be okay.”
The man pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, squeezing her hand back and leaning in her direction.
“He does something to you, I shoot him,” he whispered in her ear. “Call me anytime and I’ll come to get you.”
Emi gulped and nodded, gasping when he pecked her on the lips before getting back into his car and driving away, dark eyes staring right into Cobra’s in a show of confrontation. She could consider this a win. Now there was only one big problem left to solve.
“Junpei I–”
“You and him are a thing, hm?” he asked, jaw clenched in a clear sign of jealousy.
She ignored the venom in his tone, not even bothering to deny it; what was the need for that? It was not like she could hurt him even more than she already had. So she nodded and said nothing, waiting for him to talk. She knew he would have a lot to say.
Being back in that apartment – just the both of them – filled Emi with a sense of nostalgia that she hadn't felt in a long time. Things looked pretty much the same from when she had left, but more barren now, emptier. She wondered how it would look if she hadn’t left. Would there be more pictures and paintings on the wall? Fresh flowers on the windowsill? Maybe even a cat napping somewhere? A crib in the other room? A family?
Emi shook her head; she would never find out. It was too late for that.
“Want something to drink?” asked Cobra in a low tone, turning his back to her as he walked into the small kitchen, filling a glass of water for himself. The bike ride back had given them both enough time to breathe and put their thoughts in order. At least on her side; she knew exactly what she wanted to say.
“I’m sorry,” she firmly said, no trembling in her voice. She was tired of being a coward. “I’m sorry for everything. For leaving you like that, for coming back, for betraying you, I just- I know it might be too late to apologize but I still- I want you to know that… I’m sorry.”
“Do you love him?”
His question surprised her; this is what he wanted to talk about? Emi stood there staring at his back before he looked over his shoulder, clearly waiting for an answer.
“I don’t,” she finally said. “What I and Nikaido have is not like what we had.”
“Did he ever hurt you?” he asked again, now fully turning to face her. His expression was cold, but his eyes were burning with a fire that she had never seen on him.
“No,” she shook her head, “he would never do that to me.”
Cobra scoffed, a sad smirk pulling at his lips.
“Do you have any idea of who you’re laying with?” he asked, brushing his hair back in an anxious gesture. “Do you have any idea of what he and his group have done? What they’re doing to us right now?”
“I do.”
“And that doesn’t scare you?” he pressed on, tone rising. “That doesn’t make you feel at least a drop of regret? What was your plan anyway? Seduce me, hoping that I would forget everything that happened, just for you to literally stab me in the back?”
“No, I wouldn’t–”
“So what was the plan, Emi?” he asked with a slap to the countertop, making her jump where she stood. “Did you hate me so much that you’re willing to help them get rid of us? They have no problem hurting people, do you understand that?”
“I know what they do!” she screamed, unable to stop the tears that started streaming down her face. “I know what they do and I know that what I did was wrong! I’ll apologize for that a thousand times if you want me!” She felt overcome by shame and regret now more than ever. What was she thinking when she agreed to help the Iemura Group? By agreeing to do things that would hurt the people she used to love the most? And all that for what? “But I just can’t change the past, Junpei, doesn’t matter how hard I try! But believe me when I say that I would never wish for any of you to get hurt… especially you.”
You could hear a feather drop in the silence that followed, broken only by Emi’s low sobs as she hid her face in her hands. He would never be able to forgive her, and she couldn’t blame him for that. She didn’t deserve forgiveness, she didn’t deserve happiness. Emi turned to leave; she couldn’t change the past.
“Why did you leave me like that?” Cobra’s question made her stop in her tracks. “You said in your letter that you wanted more than I and this town could give you… but why didn’t you talk to me about it? Were you scared of me?”
Emi shook her head, slowly turning back to face him. She locked eyes with him, those eyes that used to look at her filled with love, now overflowing with sadness. She remembered back to that night four years ago. The many times she had written and rewritten her goodbye letter. The way she had almost unpacked her bag multiple times before forcing herself to leave before he came back. She knew she would never be able to leave if she faced him; if she talked to him and said everything that had been haunting her for months.
She loved him too much for that and – at the same time – she didn’t love him enough.
“I didn’t want to watch you die,” she whispered. “Every time you came back home bruised and blooded, it was my job to patch you up. Every night I wondered if you would come back. I started… I started having nightmares about it. Of your death, I mean. I was worrying myself to the point of insanity in this tiny apartment, dreading anyone that knocked on the door because they could be the ones with the news of your death.” Emi took a deep breath as she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, shooing the unwanted memories away. “I got tired of it. That’s why I left.”
“I never knew–”
“Yes, you did!” she snapped. “Yes, you fucking did! I asked you to leave Mugen, I asked you to at least consider moving to the city and live our lives differently and what did you say? You said you would never leave this town and that you would never leave that stupid gang! Then you proceeded to leave me and spend the night with your friends. So don’t you dare tell me you had no idea!”
It felt good to finally say it. She had been blaming herself for so long that she had forgotten how mad she was at him for the way he acted. Always so reckless, always so uncaring of her feelings about it. He never stopped to think how it felt for her to see the love of her life getting constantly hurt.
“I’m sorry, Emi,” Cobra wasn’t even looking at her, focused on the tip of her shoes instead, “but you know I could never leave Sannoh.”
“That’s why I had to leave the way I did,” she sobbed, “because didn’t matter how much we loved each other, I could never be happy here. I- I’m so sorry for everything… but please, understand why I did it.”
She gasped when she felt his hands on her forearms, barely touching her but enough to make her shiver. His hands were slightly callous from all the fighting, but he was gentle and hesitant as he pulled her against his chest. Emi let herself be guided by him, not minding when his grip tightened around her in a hug. She cried against his shoulder, confused by all the emotions that having his body so close to her made her feel. His scent was just like she remembered – masculine and clean with a touch of aftershave – and his body was warm, lean, and firm. She couldn’t stop the memories of all the times he had made her scream his name in ecstasy from taking over her mind.
She didn’t mean to press her lips to his neck. It was nothing more than an old habit of when he hugged her like that. But it was something way beyond that now. She froze when he gasped, his hold on her tightening as he pulled her flush against him. His hand hesitantly cradled her face before he made her look him in the eyes. What she saw in them both scared her and set her on fire.
Then he kissed her.
It was gentle at first, just a press of his lips against hers, no more than a peck. But then he pushed further, moving his lips against hers in a kiss that made her instinctively throw her arms around his neck. He kissed her just like she remembered – expertly and full of passion – a nib of his teeth on her bottom lip making her whine before his tongue slid into her mouth. Emi kissed him back just as hard, fingers intertwined in his bleached hair before she gave it a pull. He growled against her mouth, hips bucking against hers before his hands gripped her hips, guiding her away from the kitchen and down the hall in direction of the bedroom.
They only broke the kiss when he roughly pushed her to the bed, looking at her with predatory eyes as he took his own shirt to reveal his chiseled torso. She gasped at seeing him, remembering how much she loved to feel every muscle and vein under his golden skin. All of this felt like a dream. She didn’t have enough time to consider stopping before he was back to consuming her mouth, a hand squeezing her chest as the other unzipped her jeans. She helped him as he undressed her, her own fingers busy freeing him of his pants.
Her mouth watered when she noticed he had no underwear on, his cock hard and already leaking precum. She tried to touch him, but he was quick in grabbing both of her wrists, keeping her arms above her head. Emi moaned when his mouth started trailing down her neck to in between her breasts before he pushed her bra cups down, revealing her to him. His mouth was on her nipple in seconds, sucking on her like his life depended on it. She had missed this; she couldn’t say she hadn’t. Nikaido kept her more than satisfied, but she never imagined that she would be craving Cobra’s touch again.
“Junpei, please…” she begged when she felt his fingers down on her core, touching her over her panties. She tried to touch him, but he was still holding her arms above her head. It was impossible for her to do anything more than try to press her body even more against his.
He surprised her by suddenly moving her around, pressing her flat on her stomach. He was fast in taking off her bra, sliding her panties down her thighs before twisting them around her knees, making her yelp. Cobra said nothing as he went back to pressing her arms over her head in a silent command before she felt him position himself right at her dripping core. Emi panted against the mattress, expecting the moment he would fill her up and claim her back as his.
She didn’t have to wait long, gasping at the sudden feeling of fullness that took over her as his hips came in contact with her ass with a sharp slapping sound. She arched her back with a moan, feeling him slide in even deeper before he started to move at a fast rhythm. She couldn’t focus on anything but the sensation of his cock against her walls, stretching her and filling her in such a way that she felt like she couldn’t breathe. His pace was ruthless as he fucked her, a hand fisting her hair as the other gripped her hip to keep her at the perfect angle for his thrusts.
“Does he fuck you like I do?” he grunted in her ear, chest pressed against her back. “Do you scream his name like you used to scream mine?”
Emi could do nothing but moan, fingers gripping the sheets as she lost herself in the pleasure and pain that was being fucked by her first love. She knew this was wrong, she knew she was going to regret this once it was over. But she couldn’t care less.
“Are you only fucking him? Or are you Iemura’s little whore, uh?” he slapped her ass cheek, making her clench around him with a cry. “Answer me… fuck…”
“O- Only him,” she managed to say, biting the sheets when receiving another spank. “I only let him…”
“And now you’re with me,” he said, hand going under her to flick at her clit, “fucking slut.”
Emi moaned and whined and cried as she felt an orgasm hit her like a wave of pure pleasure. Her vision turned white and her body shook as she came down from her high and back to the present. Cobra was showing no signs of stopping, grunting in her ear as he ravished her like an animal, finger still on her clit.
The second orgasm hit her like a train, making her cry and spasm around him before she laid there, too spent to move. Her body felt like jelly, too fucked out of her mind to do anything but moan his name. Emi almost felt like she was in a dream, with too many feelings and emotions making it impossible to think straight. Her core was on fire and her back ached from the position, but she couldn’t find sense in herself to care. She wanted all the pain and all the pleasure he was willing to give her.
“Junpei,” she panted, “Junpei please–”
Emi gasped from relief when she felt him slide off of her, whining at the sudden loss of his cock. She looked over her shoulder - lowering her cramped arms to lift herself - when he suddenly turned her over, facing her again. Cobra kissed her in an almost violent way, teeth hitting teeth as he entered her again in one swift movement, swallowing her cries as he started fucking her once again.
“I’m not done with you yet,” he moaned against her lips before kissing her again.
One of his hands was under her knee, keeping her open for him as he thrust in and out with – yet again – no signs of stopping. Emi wanted to beg him to stop but it all felt so good she didn’t know if she wanted to cry or laugh, embrace him or push him away. His other hand pressed against the sides of her neck, keeping her head in place as he marked her with love bites all over her chest and neck. She remembered how he loved to mark her but was always so shy to do it; not anymore.
This wasn’t exactly the Junpei she was used to, but she couldn’t decide if it was a bad thing or not.
The sounds and the scent of sex took over her senses, his cock inside her and his warm – almost feverish – body pressed against her making her forget all her problems. She barely remembered what she was doing there in the first place.
Nothing mattered but him.
She couldn’t stop herself from crying when he made her come a third time, cunt clenching around him like a vice grip and nails scratching his back. It was with relief that she felt him come too, hands keeping her legs wide open as he filled her with his cum, panting breaths against her neck.
Emi closed her eyes with a sigh of exhaustion, feeling Cobra’s body relax on top of hers before he fell to the mattress beside her. They laid there in silence, their rapid breathing the only sound in the room as they relished in their post-orgasm glow. She felt way too hot, sweaty and sticky all over, a mess of fluids in between her thighs. But she didn’t care. She could barely think.
A soft snore made her look to her left, and she watched as Cobra dozed off to sleep, the lines on his face relaxing and giving place to a soft expression. He looked exactly like the man she used to love, so young and pretty, almost innocent in the way his lips curved slightly up, even in his sleep.
She bit her lip as she controlled yet another will to cry, before standing up as silently as she could. Her core was sore and her legs were still shaking, but she rushed to grab her clothes before heading for the door. She had to leave before he woke up.
A sudden thought made her stop, hand on the doorknob as she stared at her – his – red scarf. This was possibly the last time they would see each other again. She had left without a proper goodbye four years ago, and here she was, repeating her own history. This was her last chance to lock this chapter of her life for good.
So she walked towards him – kneeling down until they were face to face – and brushed the hair from his eyes, admiring his face for the last time.
“Goodbye, Junpei,” she whispered before softly kissing him on the cheek. “I hope you have a good life.”
And with that, Emi left – never to return – a red scarf laying on the pillow beside a sleeping Cobra.