Chapter Text
You tap your pencil on the desk and stare at the equation in front of you. You’d been working on this for days, but every approach you’d taken had led to dead end after dead end and you were officially stuck. But there was a solution. There had to be because Rick had bet that you couldn’t solve it. He wouldn’t have said that if he wasn’t planning on swooping when you failed, to tell you how easy it was and how even a moron could work it out.
You let out a huff of frustration and suck on the end of the pencil. He’d only said it because he didn’t think you could do it. Which meant you probably couldn't… At least while using established methods. A thought flashes through your mind and you scribble it down. It discarded several key mathematical principles but if the coefficients could be divided then… then -
“What a-are you doing?” he asks, and you almost jump out of your skin.
“Jesus Rick.” You gasp as he leans over and plucks the paper from your hands. “What are you... How did you get in here?”
He doesn’t bother to look up, just nods to the door and scowls at the paper in his hands. You watch him nervously, the butterflies in your stomach going wild as he looks up with a grin.
“Did I get it right?” you breathe, and his grin widens.
“Are you kidding? This is fucking- it’s h-urrrp-horseshit, baby.” He says, dropping it and dragging you towards him, pressing his lips against yours. You shiver, inhaling the heady scent of vodka and laundry detergent as he breaks away, pulling out his portal gun and firing it.
“Oh.” you sigh, “I thought I was onto something.”
“We c-can worry about you’re m-mathematical shortcomings later, we got sh-shit to do.” He says and before you can speak, he’s yanking you toward the portal.
You stumble slightly, as you squelch through the portal and into the cutest wooden cabin you’ve ever seen. A giant bed dominates the room, and you watch Rick cross the room and fiddle with a panel, and then the wooden wall dissolves and you’re staring at a view so wild it makes your chest hurt.
“Oh wow.” You breathe as you take in the crystal-clear waters of an alpine lake, reaching pine trees and snow-capped mountains. It's fucking beautiful.
“Yeah, yeah, scenery, trees, blah bl-urrrp-blah blah, lets-let’s - come here.” He says, guiding you to the bed and you smile as he pushes you back onto it.
“Rick.” You giggle, eyes wide as saucers as your gaze flicks between him and the view. A self-satisfied grin spreads over his lips as he sinks down on top of you, thighs either side of yours, your pulse jumping into overdrive as he snakes long fingers over your rib cage. “What… What is this?”
“Je-Jesus Christ a h-hotel room, what does it look like.” He replies immediately and you hide a smile. You’ve known him long enough to know that there’s always an ulterior motive, but as takes something out his pocket and shrugs off his lab coat off, you’re struggling to care.
“What,” you ask breathlessly as he pulls off your clothes, “my bed’s not good enough for you anymore?”
“J-Jesus, can’t I just want to spend some time -bleeeergh – some private time with m-my girl?” he replies, succeeding in his task of undressing you. His erection is straining through the material of his trousers and as you reach for him he grabs your wrists and pushes you back.
“H-hang on a second baby,” he says, reaching for the thing he’d taken out of his pocket and you realise it’s a vial of glowing purple liquid. “Let’s – I wanna t-try someth-urrp-something first.”
“What is that?” you ask, narrowing your eyes as he grins and unscrews the lid.
“T-tr-trust me baby. You’re -urrp- you’re gonna love this.” He stammers and tips the contents onto your stomach before you can protest.
It’s warm and heavy, glittering and glowing as it pools on your belly. For a moment nothing happens, but then you gasp as it starts to move.
“Oh my god, Rick.” You hiss as it slips down your stomach, leaving a trailing hum of pleasure in its wake, before slipping between your legs and moulding itself against you. It’s not uncomfortable but it’s hardly pleasant. He grins and peels two purple gel pads off the vial and presses them against his temples and the second he does the thing between your legs starts to vibrate.
“What the -ah- what the hell?” you breath in surprise, unable to stop yourself from bucking against nothing as the vibration increased.
“That is p-urrrp-pure Kalurpian Plasma, baby. One hundred percent genuine pleasure juice and to-totally fucking illegal.” He says, with a grin.
“That’s -oh god- that’s why w-we’re here. To pick up illegal shit?” you ask curiously. He runs a finger down your naked stomach and the thing between your legs mimics his movements and you yelp.
“I said i-i-illegal in most places, babe. Not here.” He grins. “This-this whole fucking planet operates outside of the Federation’s stupid – stupid rules. Anything goes here, even Kal-urrp-Kalurpian torture devices.”
“Tort-ah-torture devices?” you gasp as he runs his fingers along the dip in your hips, and the device hums along with it. “Rick, this is a torture device?”
“O-originally.” He says with a shrug, “But then the Kalurpian’s got a little too… a little too high of their own -urrrp- supply, if you catch my drift. Ended up using all their torture juice and boning themselves out of – out of existence.”
“For -ah- for fucks sake Rick.” You growl, and you drop your hands between your legs, trying to dislodge it but it won’t budge.
“Jeeze, baby, calm down. It-it’s-it’s controlled by me, you can’t get it off, so just relax and stop being such a-urrrp-buzzkill.” He says, grinning and running his hands down your sides and you buck into him hard.
“Fuck.” You gasp and he grins, unbuckling his pants and kicking them to the floor. You stare at the way his cock strains against his stomach, extending indecently far out of his blue pubic hair, and swallow. His size takes you by surprise every time and you follow his hand as he drops it to his dick and gives it a gentle tug.
“Fuck!” You hiss as unexpected pleasure explodes through you.
“The Kalurpian’s use - u-used this shit to extract conf-urrp-confessions out of prisoners. Th-those a-assholes would play with their victims for days. Dr-drive them mad with p-pleasure.” He says, his gaze not leaving yours as he starts to stroke up and down his length. Every pass of his hand sends little shocks of lightning across your skin, and your eyes widen as you realise what’s happening.
“Rick.” You breathe, and it’s barely out of your mouth before he starts to pump faster, and you twitch violently on the bed as pleasure pulses through you.
He lets go and rolls onto his side, pressing his length against your hip and you shiver at the thrill that pulses through you. He gives you a second to recover then drops his hand between your thighs and you jolt like you’ve been electrocuted. You try to speak, but then he his fingers along the gathering moisture and you moan helplessly as stars spark in front of your eyes. You try to scoot away from him, but he squeezes his cock, and you collapse, groaning, to the bed.
“W-wait.” You gasp and he shakes his head, the grin on his face equal parts lust and determination as he starts to stroke himself again and this time he doesn’t stop until you’re a sweaty, panting mess and you’re so wet it’s obscene.
“R-Rick…” you say weakly, and he rolls back to you, but this time he’s careful not to touch you.
“You’ve b-been… y-you’re-you’re hiding something from me.” He says it like a statement, his eyes serious and you swallow.
“What-“ you start but he cuts you off, pressing his lips against yours and thrusting his tongue into your mouth. Pleasure peaks again and you cling to him, trying desperately to get the friction you so need, bucking against him, devouring him as pleasure burns through you. He groans into your mouth and that just drives you wilder and you dig you fingers into his flesh. He breaks away, panting, pupils blown wide with desire as his eyes roam over your damp, naked body.
“Tell me what it... Tell me what you’re hiding a-a-nd I’ll -urrp- give you what you need, I swear.” He breathes against your lips, his voice low and desperate, and when his fingers slip between your folds they make contact with the plasma and you scream.
“Please Rick.” You pant, you’re so close that it’s almost painful, but the plasma is holding you back, stopping that wave from reaching its crest and as he moves again you buck against his fingers with a groan. “Please l-let me -oh god- pl-please let me cum.”
He growls, fingers moving slowly against your clit, spiking painfully sweet pleasure through you, cutting off your words as tears start to leak from your eyes.
“N-n-not until you fucking- not until you say it, baby.” He stutters and you want to scream in frustration.
“Rick, please, please. I don’t k-know.” The last word is ripped from your throat as the plasma vibrates harder and you cry out.
“Tell me.” He growls again and his voice is hot and dominant, and if the thing between your legs wasn’t preventing it, you would have cum instantly.
“I don’t -ah- I don’t know what you want me to -oh god- Rick p-please, I don’t know what you want.” You moan and he growls, pulling back and when you meet his eyes they’re full of something profound and deep and your breath catches.
“Tell me how you… tell me and I-I-I’ll make you feel stu-uurrp-stuff you’ve never felt before.” He stutters – his fingers moving with the device and the sensation shifts from electric to soft and it's so incredible you can’t help but moan his name.
“Tell me,” he stammers, “holy sh-shit, tell me that you… tell m-me you love me.”
The worlds stops.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
You stare up at him as sharp panic joins the heat boiling in your gut. How the fuck did he know. He shakes his head, reading your expression and biting tiny kisses on your skin.
“Don’t - d-don’t be nervous baby. It’s fucking – it’s so fu-uurrrrp-fucking obvious. I just need to hear it from… just tell me.” He trips over the words and you shake your head violently. He narrows his eyes and the pressure at your core intensifies.
“Oh god, Rick.” You cry and he rolls on top of you, nudging your thighs apart and pressing against your entrance. Your breath catches and you try to rock into him, but he moves with you, stealing the friction you’re so desperate for.
“Say it.” He growls, perspiration building on his forehead and desperation gleaming in his eyes.
“I –,“ you start but then he pushes into you, and you cut yourself off with a cry.
“D-d-do you realise how good this will… h-how good I’m gonna make you feel?” He asks, pushing in just a fraction more and making you cry out again. You don’t need him to tell you. The device is already adjusting to him, fizzing against you with the combined heat of both of your pleasure and you can barely breathe. “All you g-urrp-gotta do is tell me, sweetheart.”
“God.” You say, covering your eyes as he starts to thrust, shallow pumps of his hips that draw huffs from your lips, but it’s not enough. “Ah-fuck- okay.” You gasp. “I-I… Fuck I do, okay, I do.”
He pushes further into you and you gasp, pressing your palms into your eyes hard enough to see stars. Strong, long fingered hands catch your wrists and he pulls them away and you blink as he comes into view.
“You d-do what.” He growls, and your eyes trip across his face taking in the little bit of drool at the edge of his lips, the way his muted blue hair was even messier than usual and the way his forehead gleamed with sweat and you squeeze your eyes shut. Oh god you were so fucked.
“I…” you swallow, keeping your eyes closed as he pushes further and your muscles clench involuntarily around him, “Fuck. I l-love you.”
He lets out a wordless groan, dropping his forehead to yours.
“L-look, oh shit, look at me, baby.” He says and the desperation in his piercing eyes makes your heart twist. “Say it again.”
“Oh god…” you whisper, feeling half mad with lust as your stare up at him,” I… I love you, Rick.” You breathe and he lets out a strangled growl and then he is moving with a pace and passion you’ve never felt and you are gone.
You cling to him, awash in a sea of burning heat and it’s only when he starts to thrust erratically, stuttering words you’re to listen drunk to decipher as his hips piston against yours, that the explosive heat reaches its crescendo and your orgasm breaks.
You have no idea how long you’re ride that wave of pleasure. It’s like being thrust through a universe of electric energy, a vortex of indescribable, mind-blowing, golden pleasure that rips through your body, exploding through every cell and washing away all thought, and when you finally surface you’re drenched in sweat, shivering and clinging to him. Your throat is raw and your skin is tingling and he’s stroking your hair and making soothing noises in your ear as he holds you against him.
You lie like that for a moment, unable to move or talk or do anything other than lie there and enjoying the feeling of his fingertips as they run over your sensitive skin.
“You know a forced confession can’t be used in a court of law.” You mumble shakily when you've recovered enough to speak, burying your face into his chest, and he laughs, a light, carefree chuckle that makes your heart flip.
He hums, but doesn’t reply, just lets his fingers run up and down your arm and you figure he’s done talking to you and nuzzle into his chest. You’re half asleep when -
“Y-y-you were right by the way.” He says, suddenly and you blink up at him sleepily.
“About what?” you say with a yawn you can’t suppress.
“The math.” He replies and you blink at him in confusion.
“Jesus fucking – the equation, baby. You know? The one you’ve been trying to solve. You w-w-w-were right, you needed to -urrrp- split the coefficients” he said, his fingers tightening on your skin as your eyes lit up.
“Oh yeah?” You yawn, and then you sit up suddenly as you realise the implications of that statement. “Wait, what?”
“I-I-it’s pretty fucking obvious, a moron could figure it out.” He says and you have to bite your lips to stop yourself from smiling. For all his genius he could be pretty predictable sometimes. “I’ll -urrrp – explain in the morning.” He finishes, pulling you back down so your back is flush against his chest, and before you have a chance to question him further, his breathing turns into gentle snores and he’s asleep.
It takes you longer, a lot longer, your mind so preoccupied with the mathematical implications of what he’s revealed, that it’s not until hours later, when you’re finally drifting off, that you realise he never said it back.