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"Why is this idiot heart of mine beating so fast??" Gintoki finds himself wondering, as he is walking behind Takasugi, eyes set on the chibi figure before him. It's their patrol shift, although it has particularly ended. But the sky is looking like it's going to rain soon, and their current hideout is far, so it's best if they find a shelter for now.
The area assigned to them is vast, almost like an open field planted with trees here and there. The air is refreshing even Takasugi is enjoying it, it seems, from the way he slowly inhales and then exhales. Gintoki smiles at that, at the way Takasugi relaxes in front of him. It's nice to have such peaceful moments with his friend, even if they are most of the time fighting, or at each other’s throats, that doesn’t mean they can't get along and enjoy some peaceful times, keeping each other company. Gintoki would describe it as welcoming if they weren't in the middle of a war, and well, if it wasn't going to rain very soon.
"Oi, Gintoki, are you listening?" Said Takasugi, as he stops and turns back to look at him.
"Eh? Ah yeah yeah we need to hurry, I know… Of course, I wouldn't want to get soaked wet in the middle of nowhere and end up catching a cold." He brushed the back of his head and continued to walk after Takasugi.
Damn, that made him skip a beat! Peaceful times? Yeah right, as if! It's all ruined now, from the moment Takasugi suddenly (yes, suddenly! It's not like he was talking while Gintoki's mind was elsewhere) decided to face him and talk to him! Can't he just be quiet! Sheesh! Yes, this stupid heart of his was beating fast, but he finally got the hang of it, and was having a nice moment! Also, why the hell does Takasugi’s " Gintoki " sound so different? It makes him feel things inside, and he flinches almost every time. Huh? What do you mean that he must be imagining? It's just a name? Why is he making a big deal? Well, shit as if he knows! He isn't imagining! This guy in front of him has probably cast a spell on Gintoki’s name! Or else why the hell does the innocent Gintoki feel like his heart is going to jump out of his chest whenever he hears Takasugi goes like " Gintoki "??? Can't Takasugi just keep it in check and stop messing with Gintoki and his heart like that?? Spells or whatever he is up to, he needs to stop, right fucking now! It ain't funny! It's getting out of hand! Gintoki won't take it anymore!
…Seriously, what is wrong with him today? Well… Maybe it's not just today, maybe he has always had this feeling inside his gut whenever it is Takasugi related, and even more when they are alone.
Wait, when did this even start? All he remembers is that he enjoys annoying him ever since childhood, it somehow feels satisfying, you know, to watch his reactions. To watch these, ah catching (?) green eyes of Takasugi focused on no one but Gintoki himself (yes, catching. It's rare to have green eyes, you know? It’s not something you are supposed to see everyday. So yes, of course they are catching! Nothing weird about them being catching! No hidden feelings or anything). Gintoki can't help but do anything he can muster to annoy Takasugi so that Takasugi will direct all his attention at him, eyebrows curve, muscles tensed… He looks so hot it almost turns him on...
Wait…
Huh?
What?
Nonono that's not how it is, is it!?? Hah, it could never be….. Heh heh, no way in hell!
But hey, of course Takasugi should look at him and him alone! Why, you ask? Well because they are rivals or whatever. Like, what other reason could it be?
Yes, it's because they are rivals, Gintoki has always been stealing glances at Takasugi’s wrists, at his forearms and upper arms, whenever he finds a chance. He needs to keep track of his strength, he can’t lower his guard and allow Takasugi to grow stronger. Nope, not happening, not on his watch! It doesn't happen quite often though, this stealing glances thingy, that midget is always wearing his coat. And uhh well, to be honest, Gintoki finds himself focusing on other parts too, like his thighs and his waist and so on…. But that's not weird! Strength includes all body parts! Of course he needs to keep his eyes on all of that, yeah. That's what rivals are, it's all about rivalry.
.
.
.
No, that's not it. He knows there's more into it than just plain rivalry. It could never be a normal friendship either. Even Gintoki can tell the difference between what he feels toward Takasugi and what he feels toward his other friends and comrades. He knows! He has been oblivious for a long time, and now that he has finally noticed, he's in a devastating state of denial but shit, he can’t take it anymore! It keeps growing in him everyday, every minute… He knows that all of his late quarrels are nothing more than attention-seeking attempts. He is aware of himself being extra conscious towards Takasugi, towards every distance between them, towards the way his own eyes follow Takasugi whenever he sneaks out of the room, in the middle of a drinking party. Or the way he panics when his eyes lose sight of Takasugi on the battlefield, even for a split second… He is awfully aware of all of that, and he wishes, he wishes, he can simply deny it or brush it off. It would have been easier, but then again what can he possibly do…
Drips
"Shit!" He hears Takasugi curses and immediately starts running.
"Hey! Wait, Takasugi, you bastard!" He runs after him and can barely hear Takasugi through the heavy rain, chuckling, "Not gonna."
×××
Thankfully, they were already close to this small cave, but nevertheless, the rain was heavy and they both got completely wet. They got inside the cave, not too deep inside though, just deep enough to keep them sheltered from the humidity and the sharp cold air that comes with the rain. They were panting, barely catching their breath, when Gintoki protested, "you were really gonna run and leave me just like that!"
Takasugi chuckled, almost endearingly, Gintoki could hear it well this time, "not my fault you were standing there looking dumbfounded for some reason. What were you thinking? And seriously, what was I supposed to do anyway? Carry you with me?" He said, smiling.
"Hah well, maybe you have a point there. It's not like you were going to be of use, you are too small for that after all." He argued, completely ignoring the "what were you thinking?" part. There’s no way he's telling Takasugi about what he was thinking.
"Shut up!" Takasugi stepped forward, facing Gintoki, "I at least was completely focused and fast to act. Not like some other idiot here." He stared at him, ready to go on with their usual squabble.
Gintoki snorted and stared back, raising his head and looking down on Takasugi, emphasizing his words. Takasugi didn't show any signs of being provoked, but he certainly was, Gintoki can tell from the way his eyebrows twitched. "Well whatever," Gintoki sighs, he has to stop this eye contact or he's gonna lose it. But damn, does Takasugi look so fucking attractive all soaked up like that!! "Ugh we need to take off these wet clothes for now"
"A-ah, yeah, guess you are right.."
Takasugi stepped back, attempting to take his coat off, when he couldn’t resist the urge to glance at Gintoki. Gintoki first started with the armor that extended from his hands to his arms, he took it off and simply threw it, ungracefully. That made Takasugi chuckle under his breath, typical Gintoki, if you ask him. Gintoki proceeded to his ever-so-white haori, the one that shines brightly on the battlefields even when splashed by red, the one that always gives Takasugi hope and strength to stand up and keep marching, keep moving forward. The White Demon, a name that leaves a resonance among the enemy troops, but to him, to Takasugi, that's the most reassuring name… His White Demon. His Shiroyasha. Or that's what he likes to call it as he thinks to himself. Takasugi has always been wondering how doesn't Gintoki’s haori get stained even in such circumstances.
Gintoki by now has got rid of the armor that covers his chest, he's taking his undershirt off and Takasugi’s eyes linger. They linger as Gintoki’s undershirt slowly slides off his shoulders and down his back. His wide, broad back. A drop of water falls from the tip of Gintoki’s hair to his back, tracing its way down. Gintoki’s back and shoulders are very scarred. Takasugi memorizes them all, one by one. He thinks about them on rainy nights, when he is alone, wondering what would it feel like if he ever were to touch them, to run his fingers over them, to leave chaste light kisses and feel them on his lips, to whisper Gintoki’s name when he is at it… "Heh," he laughs to himself, scornfully, and turns his back. What has gotten into him today? He is usually better at hiding and keeping his fantasies in check (except when he is alone at night, though). Is it the rain? The sound of the drops falling heavily always makes his mind fly elsewhere, fly to Gintoki to be more precise. Or has he suppressed his feelings long enough that he can’t keep it up anymore.
It's getting cold, of course it is! He is still fully dressed in these wet clothes. He is in a very foul mood right now and it's going to get worse if this rain doesn't stop soon. He doesn’t want to stay here longer, imprisoned in this cave with his Gintoki fantasies in the presence of the actual real Gintoki or he's gonna lose it!!!
"You have been staring," Gintoki cuts the silence.
"HA??" Said Takasugi, as he (finally) takes his coat off. Please he is in the worst mood right now to go into a conversation, especially a conversation with Gintoki.
Gintoki turns to face him, although they are meters away, Takasugi can feel Gintoki’s gaze linger. "I said, you have been staring at me this whole time," He steps closer.
Takasugi feels a sharp bang in his chest. Did Gintoki notice that? What? "Heh" he tightens the grip on his coat, now resting between his hands. "What are you talking about?" He suddenly feels dizzy, he's gonna have a heart attack at this rate… There's no way this is happening…
Gintoki by now has become very close, only a few steps away. "Stop. Don't. Just stay where you are…"
Another step closer.
"I said stay away from me! Just DON'T--" before he could continue, he felt a hand grabbing his right wrist. He was going to pull his hand away but Gintoki was faster, he pulled Takasugi’s hand and placed it on his chest, the left upper part of his chest to be more precise.
"…."
His heartbeats. Gintoki’s heartbeats. Takasugi could feel them… They are erratic (?) Takasugi raises his eyes to meet Gintoki's, who is now right in front of him. Gintoki was already staring at him, "you can feel it, can't you? Takasugi, I'm not making fun of you. Even I, am nervous!" Gintoki’s eyes wandered for a second, his head shook briefly, he was thinking, searching for the right words. "Takasugi you-- you also feel the same, don't you?"
Takasugi stared wordlessly, eyes wide open, mouth slightly parted… Is this real? Are his feelings being reciprocated right now? Is that what is happening at this moment? H-how, is this a dream!? It has always been something far away, something impossible to obtain, mere fantasies…
No, this isn't a dream. Gintoki’s erratic heartbeats are not a dream, the feeling of his skin against his hand could never be a dream either.
Takasugi moves his hand slowly, runs it over Gintoki’s skin, over the scars, feeling him. He closes his eyes and sighs, a big, anxious sigh.
" Takasugi… " Gintoki whispers and steps closer. His hand reaches Takasugi’s gloved hand, and he slips his hand in between Takasugi’s hand and the glove, slowly crawling, until the glove is fully taken off. He intertwines their fingers. Moving his thumb slowly caressing Takasugi’s.
Takasugi's right hand reaches Gintoki’s face, cupping him. And they allow themselves to take a good look, lost in the other's eyes. They have been tired of stealthy gazes. Now their feelings are thrown out in the open, they are not having that. Not anymore.
Catching? Is that what Gintoki said about these green eyes before, right up there in the seventh paragraph? Forget it! They are mesmerising. Gintoki presses their foreheads together, he tucks a strand of hair behind Takasugi's ear, hearing Takasugi gasps. He reaches Takasugi’s chin, brushing his hands over it, holding it ever so gently, lovingly. They got even closer now, fingers still intertwined.
He could feel Takasugi’s nose against his own now. Brushing his lips against Takasugi’s, not practically kissing yet, only feeling him. That drew another gasp out of Takasugi, he was running impatient when he decided to urge Gintoki on, "just kiss me already!" And Gintoki does. He kisses him once, twice, thrice until he loses count, becoming more and more passionate.
Takasugi hums into the kiss, and throws his hands around Gintoki’s neck, digging his fingers in his hair, tugging at his roots, and taking his headband off to simply throw it at their feet. Gintoki steps forward pushing Takasugi until he's trapped between him and the wall.
Gintoki runs his hands over Takasugi’s waist and up over his back, making him shiver. Takasugi bites his lip slightly and that makes Gintoki grunts. And, god, the sounds Gintoki lets out sent him crazy, he can’t process it anymore. He feels heat surges from inside him, his heart feels like it's going to burst. If there are things he wishes for, then this thing, right here, right now, is his biggest wish ever. Nothing else matters right now, it's just them, him and Gintoki. The whole world could go to dust and ashes he couldn’t care less. All he wants right now is to cling so hard to this man in front of him and never let go.
And they slide down, sitting very close between each other’s arms, in this lonesome cave with nothing but the sound of rain.
Gintoki leaves a trail of kisses across Takasugi’s chin and down his neck. He adores the sound of Takasugi panting, of his heavy breathing and damn, of the way he whispers " Gintoki ". If he was complaining about it earlier, he's now an addict because he certainly can't get enough.
Gintoki grabs the knot of Takasugi’s V-neck shirt and looks at him, silently asking for permission. Takasugi stares at Gintoki's face, at how flushed he is, at his longing gazes, disheveled hair and his heavy breathing. He knows he is no better, but right now Gintoki is all he could think about. He nods slightly, giving Gintoki permission.
And when Gintoki’s hand reaches the knot of his belt, they both know there isn't going back. Nevertheless, they don't hesitate, the way their feelings entangle couldn’t be any better.
×××
Gintoki is now sitting with his back to the wall, knees bending, with Takasugi between his legs resting his head on his bare chest. They are dressed in nothing but their, now crumbled, pants. Gloves, footwear, and belts all are tossed aside.
Takasugi drags his nails over Gintoki’s chest, drawing circles and caressing his scars. Gintoki feels him, and then silently buries his nose in Takasugi’s head, closing his eyes as he inhales his scent. This is really happening right now. He and Takasugi.
Gintoki moves his head back and holds that specific lock of hair, the one that falls to cover a part of Takasugi’s checks, in his hand. It's soft, he thinks. His eyes travel to Takasugi’s neck and collarbone, to the fine marks left by none other than Gintoki himself. This isn’t a joke, he may need to go see a doctor or something. Does Takasugi realize how hard he's making it on Gintoki? The hell he's so damn attractive for??
Now that everything has been said and done… It feels kinda embarrassing… But not the bad kind, though. Like if time were to ever rewind, he would do it again. Hell, he would do it sooner! Instead of spending all that time in denial.
"What are you thinking?" Comes a voice to cut off his thoughts.
"Hmm nothing in particular~" he said playfully, swirling the lock of hair between his fingers.
Takasugi raises his head to look at him, the motion makes the hair slip out of his grip. He grimaces briefly at that, although he's not gonna complain, he gets a straight look to his face now. And there they are again, these green eyes. Apparently, he's so enamoured with them more than he ever thought he would be. He brushes his finger over Takasugi’s left eyelid and even proceeds to kiss it, cherishing every part of him. When he draws back, Takasugi smiles at him.
"The rain isn't stopping," Takasugi says.
"Umm." He glances at the entrance. "Well, it's not like we are in a hurry, are we?" Gintoki grins and shoves his face close. "How about we go for round two? And then maybe round three?" But a hand comes to cover his face and pushes him back, playfully. "Don't push your luck on me now." Gintoki whines, but still encircles both his arms around Takasugi, pulling him close to a hug.
And if Takasugi was feeling cold moments ago, he is now the warmest he had ever felt, between Gintoki’s arms. "Well, guess we are not in a hurry after all," Takasugi reaches out to hold Gintoki by his neck and pulls him down to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth.