Archive of Our Own

Sam couldn’t sleep.

To be precise, certain parts of his body refused to let him rest, a certain section located lower down. It had been several hours after taking that strange shot in the downtown bar. Thinking nothing of it at the time, he’d had more important things to be concerned about.

Now, it left Sam tossing and turning in one of Sharon’s guest bedrooms.

Bucky was in the room adjacent and Zemo got pushed into the lockable one down the hall.

Sam needed this sleep, he really did. They needed all the shut eye they could get before heading out to the docking port tomorrow.

Frustrated, he reached out and took hold of his phone to check the time again. Unable to stop the mental timer in his head that calculated how much sleep he would get if fell asleep right that second.

At the moment, it was somewhere between four to five hours.

That was it. With a groan, Sam returned the phone, rolled over, and shut his eyes. A prickly string of fire coiled and curled in his lower gut, moving up over his belly button and residing from his crotch.

Sam tried to feel sleepy, but it was honestly useless. He knew this would be it. Sleep wouldn’t appear to him unless he did something about this problem.

He rolled onto his back and ran a hand over his face, frustrated and on verge of pounding his fist on the bed just to relieve this annoyance boiling within him.

Sam finally gave in and considered his options.

He could call Sarah, he needed to do that as well. But, considering time zones, it could be the middle of the day on a weekend over there, meaning the kids would be there as well and the thought of speaking to family right now made Sam, somewhat, uncomfortable.

What he wanted to do instead, usually put them right at the back of his mind.

Sam thought to call Torres for an update. But, in fact, the entire idea of ringing someone without consulting Sharon first made him hesitant. He didn’t know whether or not someone could track him or it would draw unwanted attention.

What Sam did know was why he couldn’t sleep.

That shot from the bar had almost made him gag when trying to swallow it down at the time. Except, it was clearly the answer as to why he felt absolutely, red-rapid horny right now.

He almost wanted to fuck someone, go wild and freaky, something to leave bruises and bite marks in the morning. Or certainly coming multiple times. The mere thought of that had him gripping his dick under the sheets, groaning when he found out he was already hard. Arousal ran through him like a lightning bolt.

Admittedly, it felt awkward doing this at someone else’s place and he couldn’t exactly look up anything with only his phone data. Not enough to make him stop, though.

Sam stroked, almost unconsciously, up and down his dick a good, few times. And for a brief second, it gave some small relief. Despite the circumstances, he decided to push his face into a pillow and get lost in the good sensations. It was not enough, but he could feel himself getting further than expected.

With just his imagination here, he thought back to the last time he had sex. Not too long ago and still fresh in his mind, he could remember the weight of Bucky on top of him, the firm swell of Bucky’s ass, Bucky’s mouth around his cock, and the blush that kept burning brighter the more he praised the guy.

Unexpectedly then, his phone dinged.

Sam thought to ignore it at first, popping his head up wearily from where he had it mashed into a pillow. He would still take any distraction he could get at this point because maybe he could ride this out without rubbing his dick raw.

Part of him wished he’d gone with the former when he saw who it was from.

It was a message from Bucky.

Sam, I’m sorry but I can hear you, he’d put.

Sam stared at the screen until the initial embarrassment fizzled out. Of course, Bucky could hear through walls, he should have thought of that before getting carried away moaning into his pillow.

He needed to tell him that it was nothing and to go back to sleep.

He didn’t know what possessed him enough to type out this reply, maybe it was solely down to those goddamn snake glands controlling the movement of his fingers as he typed out each word. But once the notion appeared in his head, he couldn’t let it go.

You gonna come do something about that then? he sent back.

Sam’s heart refused to stop beating rapidly immediately after sending that. He knew Bucky liked him, he’d told him as much during their one night together in Bucky’s flat half a week ago. Bucky had propelled himself into Sam’s bed, tried to kiss him with a face full of messy tears, offered to blow him.

However, since then, their relationship had dwindled and remained a little unclear. Rejection could still be a possibility. Sam didn’t feel like being let down gently right about now. Both, since it wasn’t what he wanted from Bucky in any capacity, and mostly because it wouldn’t exactly be a very sexy thing to hear.

He didn’t want to have his hurt feelings to be consoled, he wanted to get his absolute rocks off.

Bucky didn’t reply. Merely, left the message on read and then went offline.

That didn’t help matters.

Sam wondered what he was thinking in the room beside, laid out on the floor, lit only by his phone screen. Maybe he should have been more aware of Bucky’s sonic hearing breaching through walls to avoid this debacle, but Sam had been currently rather busy resolving a different issue.

The silence next nearly killed him.

Sam put his phone back on the bedside table, staring at that message made him feel like it was screaming at him. He was about to give up on the extra company, already scripting the awkward conversation in his head for the morning, when he heard the unmistakable sound of Bucky’s door open from through the walls.

A second later, his own door opened and Bucky Barnes stepped inside.

Dressed in a shirt Sam hadn’t seen before and also a pair of boxers, he took a moment to close the door and turn to face Sam. It must have been a shirt under all his multiple layers, his dog tags were tucked underneath and visible through the fabric. He had a mixed expression on his face, something between apprehension, tiredness, and concern. Sam kept the lamp on to help with the nightmares, so he could see all of him right now.

Bucky slowly approached the bed.

Sam had leant back over his shoulder and rolled around as the mattress dipped under the new weight. Watching Bucky, he held his breath.

Bucky reached out to gently touch Sam’s chin, face leaning ever closer and pressed his lips briefly against Sam’s. Like handing over a ticket before a ride, asking permission, Bucky then sat back on his heels and waited.

From his relaxed body language and soft expression that had meant to be a kiss of comfort. Bucky shifted about on his bent thighs, rubbed at the back of his neck with his metal hand. “Would you like me to, uh, suck you off again?” he asked so nonchalant, it was almost funny.

Sam should be surprised Bucky had picked up on the atmosphere he’d been drowning in for the last few hours, but then they knew each other much better than they often let on.

Things could certainly go a lot faster with someone else involved.

In that case, Sam gestured his head toward the mattress. “Get in here,” he said.

Bucky waited first for Sam to fling away the sheet before climbing inside. He appeared immediately to like that Sam was shirtless underneath, unable to keep his eyes still as he scanned up and down from Sam’s chest to his face and back again. Not very subtle, this man.

Earlier, when they were in Sharon’s room changing out of Zemo’s costumes, Bucky had averted his gaze, plopping down on the couch nearby the second he finished getting dressed, while Sam took his time to pick out attire that didn’t continue to make him to look like the goddamn Smiling Tiger. He’d wondered then, if there had been a good reason for the obvious evasion.

Bucky reached out now to touch Sam. Pushing his fingers into Sam’s curly chest hair, he leaned down to take a perk nipple into his hot and wet mouth.

Sam grunted at the sweetly sharp jolt of contact. Bucky seemed to like that as he bit down harder on the next. But before he could pin him down, Sam gently rolled into Bucky’s shoulder and got on top first.

Bucky gave no resistance to the manoeuvre and let their lips met in the middle.

Sam realised immediately how bad he still had it. In fact, the more he ran his hands down Bucky’s arms and onto his chest, ground his hips down against him, the kiss grew hungrier. He had the man in his bed, he didn’t plan on letting Bucky go any time soon.

Bucky was warm and soft under his hands and very responsive against his lips. His touch felt so good, compared to the gunfire from earlier in the evening and how noncompliant Zemo made himself whenever Sam needed to move him from one place to another.

And compared Sharon, as much as her anger and mistrust regarding the pardon offer was rightfully justified, it still felt a little like pulling teeth to get her to simply consider trusting Sam’s judgement about that.  Some part of her had to know he wouldn’t bring it up if he didn’t think he could do that for her, yet she was resilient almost all the way through.

Even now as Bucky squeezed his hands around Sam’s ass felt better than any physical contact he'd had in the last few days.

So despite everything that’d happened so far, Sam couldn’t help finding comfort in Bucky’s presence. Yes, he still continued to act like a man who wanted to say something he wasn’t quite sure how to divulge and decidedly went about doing so in not the most advisable way possible.

More and more each day that vacation far, far away from each other slowly became appealing again, keeping this up. But if Bucky would only get his shit together, it didn’t have to be permanent anymore.

They certainly needed some time away from each other, that much was easy to conclude. He felt Bucky agreed with him there and might even take the time apart to collect his thoughts. Sam knew he couldn’t force Bucky to change. He didn’t want him to do it merely for his own behalf.

They weren’t going to talk about it now, however, and Sam didn’t need to ask to know that, remaining synced up with Bucky in so many unsaid ways.

Bucky seemed to cling to him, almost just as desperate, protesting with a moan each time Sam tried to pull away and reeling him right back in again. He humped back, tilting and shifting his hips in a bunch of messy angles.

Whether Bucky was aware of it or not, Sam couldn’t help finding this mildly endearing.

Bucky kept most of his hands to the top section of Sam’s body now. Although, they never lingered in one spot for too long. Sam would say he came across like a man getting back into kissing for the first time after a long time, except that Bucky kissed so well.

As nice as this was, Sam wanted to get down to business. Finally, he managed to break free far enough, with the inclusion of a strong hand on Bucky’s chest, pulling off the sexy, hairy octopus of a man.

Sam sat back on his heels to admire his work. Bucky’s lips had already become a kiss-swollen mess, red and glossy. It did wonders to his pride to see how something as simple as kissing could have such a profound effect on Bucky. During these moments, when he was not being such a stubborn, inexpedient dick. He watched Sam now, silent and expectant.

Their legs had gotten tangled in amongst each other, no one set clearly in between the other. Like when they landed in the field, maybe that was why this always felt so easy and right.

Sam could move him with no issue and shifted Bucky gently about until he sat between his legs. Keeping at Bucky’s needed slow pace, Sam kissed across at one of Bucky’s knees and snaked a hand down it towards his crotch.

Bucky sighed as Sam fanned out his hand across him and began rubbing it back and forth. With his other hand, he massaged along Bucky’s thigh, hoping the gentle mix of sensations would get him where they needed to go. After a few more gradual movements, Sam pulled him out of his boxers. He didn’t whimper this time, at least.

Sam gave Bucky’s cock a few strokes, testing the waters.

Bucky responded with nothing but positive feedback, exhaling deeply and dropping his head back against the pillow, eyes appeared to be rolling back in their sockets. No wincing, no pulling away, no telling him to stop.

So Sam didn’t give him a moment of rest, he reached down and took Bucky into his mouth.

There was a small gasp from above and a hand came down to rest on Sam’s shoulder.

In terms of personal grooming, Bucky hadn’t done anything, meaning if he went low enough, Sam got a nose full of hair. He was clean, at least so he didn’t mind. It was up to Bucky what he did with his body, but Sam thought to bring it up later, if only they continued this on other occasions to make things easier for himself. For now, Sam quite liked a rugged look on a man.

He experimented by planting small kisses up the shaft and then drew only the head into his mouth and sucked.

Bucky breathed out on a shaky groan.

Sam continued to swirl his tongue on that spot, uncovering a salty taste, as Bucky grew restless. Tossing his head about frantically, he twitched and moaned under Sam’s body.

Sam took him down as far as he could go and came back up again. Setting up a simple rhythm, he switched between bobbing his head and flicking his tongue over the slit at the top. The noises it had Bucky producing seemed to be enough to help him reach down and start stroking his own cock.

Then abruptly, the hand on his shoulder began pushing Sam away. “Wait, wait, Sam, I’m gonna—” Bucky was saying.

“Too much?” Sam asked, wiping at his mouth. He hadn’t gotten sloppy enough yet, in his opinion, but would always respect a pause on the action.

Bucky really needed a moment there to recover.

Sam couldn’t stop the smirk on his face.

“No, it’s fine,” he said. Bucky swallowed, glancing up at the ceiling. After a moment, he manoeuvred his elbows under himself to be able to sit up. “It’s really, quite good, even. I-I’m just worried about—”

“Oh, don’t worry about blowing a load in my mouth,” Sam said and his grin grew at the way Bucky’s eyes widened from his words. “In fact, I want you to do it.”

Bucky hung his head back. “Sweet Joseph and Mary....”

“Dude, you came in here to help me out!”

“I know!” Bucky exhaled and ran a hand over his face. “I know I did, I wanted to do it on you, though. I thought you’d had another goddamn nightmare. That I’d make you feel better.”

Sam’s heart ached at that. It had meant a lot when Bucky had come to wake him up and help him through his nightmare, last time. He really hadn’t thought Bucky capable of that until he’d done it.

The realisation abruptly dawned on Sam and he saw now how Bucky could have been confused. In his text message, Bucky didn’t exactly specify what he could hear. Maybe Sam’s groaning into a pillow had sounded similar to crying when listened to through a wall, even with super-serum hearing. And Sam’s own message, he realised how it would have come across as someone begrudgingly asking for comfort, not necessarily as a flirtatious invitation.

“Well, thank you for the consideration,” Sam said, “but I didn’t.” He could clear the air now. “I was jerking off instead, thinking about when you blew me.”

Bucky blinked. And blinked, again. “Good. That’s…. The lack of a nightmare and you thinking about that…”

Sam took Bucky’s trailing off as cue to continue. He gave Bucky’s softening appendage a little encouragement, stroking up and down a few times.

Bucky’s hand immediately came down over his. Although, he didn’t try to move Sam’s hand off, only kept both of theirs stilled at the base of his cock. He wanted to continue this but there was still something else.

“What is it?” Sam asked, sobering up again.

Bucky breathed out. “I’m worried I’m gonna hurt you.”

Sam felt confused. He hadn’t expected that. “Hurt me how?”

“Can you not see I’m also trying to avoid damaging Sharon’s wonderful apostrophe up here?” Bucky gestured to the head piece behind him.

It was true. At closer inspection, Sam could already make out a few finger dents on the wooden pole to the side.

Instead of whatever Bucky seemed to fear he’d think, Sam wondered in that moment what those imprints would look like as a bruise on his shoulder, or other places.

But he wouldn’t ignore how Bucky felt about all this.

He straightened up. “Should we stop then?” he said.

“No, no,” Bucky panicked, reaching for him. He grabbed hold of Sam’s hand. But from the way they interlocked, he ended up more holding onto it, than guiding it back to any particular area on his body. “Just proceed slowly, please. Keep up the slowness you had before,” he said, clearly, giving Sam’s hand a small squeeze. “Really take your time if you have to.”

Sam chuckled. “You may regret handing me over this kind of power.”

Bucky’s eyes became soft before he looked away, he was serious. “You’ll regret it if I snap your shoulder like a breadstick,” he said.

In his state, Sam’s mind voluntarily took ahold of that idea and ran away with it for a long second.

When Bucky glanced back over to see, he seemed to be able to read his mind, recognise his thinking, and gave him such a look.

“Oh, come on,” Sam said, “you gotta admit that’s a slightly sexy concept?”

“Hurting you could never be something enjoyable,” Bucky stated, definite.

Sam took comfort in knowing that. Though, it did nothing to reverse what had already been done.

They weren’t having that conversation right now.

“Not even a little bit?” Sam said, getting back to the task at hand. “You are the one who said he’d tried spanking. You wouldn’t want to make this ass jiggle even just a small bit?” Hunching forward, he jolted his ass up and down so Bucky would be able to see the meat shake.

“My god…” Bucky breathed out on a groan, a needy and pathetic sound that went straight to Sam’s unrelenting arousal. Letting go of himself, Bucky buried his face in both hands, his skin the colour of a red sun at this point.

Sam couldn’t stop his confusion as to why Bucky would be acting like this. They had had sex before, it shouldn’t have been such a shock that Sam wanted to be sexual around him.

But then again, back then, it had been more submitting to their base reactions, than a direct declaration of what they could do next. He remembered how slow Bucky had needed things to be, how hard he fought against his body’s original reaction to be able to enjoy what they were doing. Only once he relaxed did the dirty talk come out.

“What has gotten into you?” Bucky said, quietly, between his fingers.

“I’m really horny, man,” Sam exclaimed. “Something was in that snake shot I took and I just really need to do a lot of things about it.” He sat back up on heels and waited until Bucky met his eye. “If you’re not down, I can go it alone.”

Bucky didn’t need to think on it. “I’m staying,” he said, still flushed, the colour even disappearing under his shirt, but undeterred. “But we focus on you. I’m not sure… I can stand getting off more than once.”

“That’s alright,” Sam said. He really wanted to push a little further, but also didn’t want to risk scaring Bucky off. He caressed his hand down across Bucky’s thigh.

After all this talk and he was still hard.

“Do I get to choose when and how your one blow off goes or…?” Sam grinned, “because I really want to be in my mouth.”

“Oh god.”

Sam got his hand on Bucky’s dick in time to feel it jerk.

Bucky was nodding when he looked up, suddenly on board already. “Yeah, sure, knock yourself out,” he said. “Slowly, though, please.”

Sam agreed. He held off getting his mouth on him again so soon then. Stroking Bucky’s cock, he leant back down and made a show of getting comfortable between his legs. He tried to see if he could make Bucky beg, and yet the guy really did seem to need the slow progression forward. A bead of precum had formed from the tip by the time, Sam reached forward and drew Bucky’s dick into his mouth.

Watching all the while, Bucky grunted as if pushed down from a short height and having the air knocked out of him. His hand returned to Sam’s shoulder as they went very slow this time.

Sam noted that physically it could be nice to do this to each other. But he knew it wouldn’t change the space between them and definitely didn’t make any full steps towards healing it.

Looking up at Bucky, he seemed to know the same, not asking for more than Sam could give right now. Hopefully it wasn’t why he only wanted to come once.

Sam doubted it, Bucky had demonstrated before that he knew his own limits. And regardless Bucky could make the decision himself, for whatever reason he wanted. Sam only cared about him being present with him here and what they did together, the rest could melt into the background for the time being.

He wouldn’t be the one to turn Bucky’s yes into a no. The guy was only asking to help.

In between his groaning and small gasps for breath, Bucky started to say something, “Sam, I think—oh god, I think I could manage with you going a little faster. It feels so good.”

Sam hummed out a response and picked up the pace.

“Yeah, that… feels great, just like that—keep that… perfect. God, you’re a wonder at that.” Bucky went completely stiff, after the words passed his lips.

Sam kept going, bobbing his head, a little concerned when nothing seemed to change for the longest time. He wanted to get his hand involved, stroke what he couldn’t fit directly into his mouth. But what if Bucky couldn’t take that, so went instead to bury it in his own pants and start bringing himself a release.

Then without any discernible warning, Bucky spasmed, his hips jerked ever so slightly, and he succumbed to his pleasure.

Sam was right getting someone else involved. Watching Bucky tip over the edge, he was well on his way there himself already. He tried to swallow it down, Bucky’s release, quickly discovering how much the guy produced.

More than he could handle as he had to pull off and a little streak escaped, dribbling down the shaft. He locked eyes with Bucky as he leaned forward, ran his tongue up his softening cock and licked him clean.

Bucky’s eyes glossed over then, his mouth fell open. Maybe a sound wanted to come out, but Sam certainly didn’t hear anything.

He wondered if Bucky’s pleasure also got extended, along with all his mess, and with that thought, it had Sam coming over his own hand.

He collapsed into the space between Bucky’s legs, needing a moment. Once recovered, he wiped himself clean on the sheets and crawled back up the bed.

Bucky still looked utterly spent and Sam was beginning to see why he only wanted to come the one time, if it did this to him. His hair stuck up in odd places from tossing his head around on the pillow. His chest rose and fell, eyes closed. He looked almost asleep, and completely fucked out.

Except he still kissed back when Sam leaned down to connect their lips. A soft press of flesh against flesh, so he wasn’t dead yet.

Sam’s cock hung a little enough outside of his pants. He took ahold of it, assessing pretty quickly that not only was he fine to keep going already, but that he suddenly needed to. An electric bubbles fizzed in his belly as he began stroking himself and it was a struggle to keep the groan out of his mouth.

It made Bucky pop one eye open, glancing down and assessing what was going on. “Sam… do you want me to—?”

“Nah, it’s alright,” Sam said, a simple dismissal. “You don’t need to do anything, just lie there, and keep looking like that.”

There was the blush again, his white skin making it all the more prominent.

Like when they were together before, Bucky recovered quickly and abruptly. He brought his metal hand up to caress Sam’s face and Sam waited for him to pull him in for a kiss that never came.

Still careful to touch with that hand, so Sam leaned into the solid palm while he continued to stroke himself off. The snake glands in his veins working their magic, it had never felt this easy before, all he had to do was touch.

“You’re so hot,” Sam blurted out.

Bucky tilted his head and smiled and, as small as it was, it did something to Sam. “You, too. You don’t know how much you drive me crazy,” he said, almost like it annoyed him. Finally getting the picture, he batted Sam’s fingers out of the way with his flesh hand and replaced them with his own. Bucky watched his work a moment as he slid his hand up the full length of Sam’s cock, testing the friction. “Let me know when you want me to suck you off,” he added.

“Such a gentleman,” Sam said and laughed, exhaling warm breath onto Bucky’s face. “Drive you crazy, huh? Is that why you made such a mess, it was a struggle to clean you up.” Bucky’s hand felt amazing on his skin and he felt the need to tell him that if only to get that blush growing darker. “Keep that going, feels good.”

Somehow, Bucky seemed to read his body better than Sam could. He picked up on a particularly nice twist of his wrist and what it did to Sam, sending white sparks shooting up his spine, so he did it again, adding a swirl of his thumb to the tip.

“Fuck, you’re a fast learner,” Sam said, hips jerking now of their own accord.

Bucky hummed and it felt so natural. “Shame there isn’t some stuff here, or I would let you fuck me.”

“Let me?” Sam said, looking directly at him. “You don’t want me to fuck you?”

“You know I do,” Bucky responded, voice low and soft.

Sam did but he really wanted to hear Bucky say it again.

Bucky nuzzled his head against Sam’s to get him closer, hand still working away on Sam’s dick. He spoke so quiet that if it weren’t for the lack of space between them, Sam might not have heard. “I don’t think I could trust anyone else,” he said. Bucky gave him a look like he hadn’t really known if he’d wanted Sam to hear that or not.

“Just me? Something special, am I?” Sam said, not hiding his smirk.

“More or less.”

Sam gave him a kiss for that, one that Bucky ate up, pulling him closer until there was only enough space between them for Bucky to keep working his hand up and down.

Sam couldn’t deny how those words made something warm spread throughout his chest, like the sun coming out on a chilly morning. Mixing in with the buzzing arousal already there, he couldn’t control it. The feeling ran rampant in his body and left him feeling raw and tender.

Out of everyone in the world right now, the man lying underneath him, after every inconceivable thing he’d been through and more, trusted Sam to be the one to see him in a vulnerable state. He wouldn’t ignore what that meant. Bucky could have anyone he wanted, in his opinion – if he got his head out of his ass in time – and yet only wanted one.

Just, right in this second, wanted him.

“How would you have me then?” Sam kissed a slow and wet path across Bucky’s face and down, until he spoke directly into Bucky’s ear. “How would I fuck you?” he asked in a hushed whisper.

He felt and heard Bucky whine, start to shift around underneath, close enough that he could feel Bucky’s growing reinterest start to prod his thigh.

Stubborn as ever, Sam continued, lips over the shell of Bucky’s ear, “You’re going to tell me this, Buck.”

“Fr-from behind,” Bucky gasped. “I’d want you to fuck me from behind, so you control the pace, but could still reach around to touch my cock… be in charge.”

“And the pace? Tell me about how good and hard I would fuck you.”

“So hard until –what was it you told me last time? —until I’m a mess, silly and drooling,” Bucky said on a chuckle.

Sam shared in his mirth. He pulled back to get a good look at him. “All you have to do is ask,” he said. As good as his hand felt he wasn’t beyond changing things up just yet.

“I’m trying…” Bucky bit his lip, fighting it back. “But this one is about you, please.”

Sam nodded, he hadn’t made any moves to touch Bucky but loved that he’d managed to make him beg, nonetheless. “You’re doing a very fine job of it,” he said, after another nice twist of Bucky’s wrist.

Maybe he could afford to have Bucky beg a little longer then.

“Would you wanna ride me, Buck? Let me sit back while you do all the work?” Sam said.

“Yes...” Bucky admitted, weakly. He whined then, his wrist staggering ever so slightly but he kept it up. “Yeah, Sam, wanna make it feel so good for you,” he said, looking hopeful. “Like now?”

“Like now,” Sam echoed. “Like that, keep it—ah, I’m so close.”

Bucky’s other hand, the metal one, which had remained on Sam’s nape for most of this time, squeezed lightly and rearranged Sam so their foreheads leant against each other. He repeated his pattern, twirling his wrist and circling his thumb until Sam couldn’t hold on for much longer.

It had him gripping at the sheets, squeezing his eyes shut as he slipped further and further towards the edge.

Bucky’s voice floated up past his ears, caressing Sam from within. “Let go, Sam, I’ve got you.”

“Ah, fuck.” Sam didn’t need much more after that and with a curse, he spilled over onto Bucky’s shirt.

The guy had been gross about his own mess before, so he doubted Bucky would mind. And he didn’t appear to. Hardly seemed to notice, in fact, the messy streaks smeared onto his shirt as his hand came to a stop at the base of Sam’s dick and he moved his metal one from Sam’s neck to his back, rubbing it in small circles.

Sam sighed, catching his breath. He appreciated the small pause but, as wretched as he was, knew deep down in his bones those snake glands weren’t done with him just yet. He could stop here, drift off and fall asleep in Bucky’s arms. He didn’t want to, though. Perhaps one more, he decided.

Although, he knew he had more in his system for after that.

Bucky’s hand remained wrapped around Sam’s cock, albeit quite loosely, but enough that there was still some satisfying friction.

Rocking his hips back and forth in Bucky’s grip, the man underneath him got with the programme in quick time.

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “Sam, you’ve—”

“Keep going,” Sam said, insistent, reaching down to encourage Bucky’s hand to move on its own this time.

Still, Bucky seemed concerned, unaware Sam had already come once before while blowing him. Although, he soon did as he was told and started up a small rhythm along Sam’s shaft.

Sam let that get him fully hard and then nodded. “Alright, alright,” he said, “you can blow me now.”

Bucky’s eyes flickered up to his as if only just remembering about that. “Right,” the only warning he gave before flipping Sam onto his back.

His apprehension from moments before, quickly faded and Bucky couldn’t seem to keep the grin off his face, eyes roaming over the body laid out before him. He became a man on a mission. Fanning his hands out over Sam’s chest, he started his descent downwards. He kissed each of Sam’s shoulders, trailing his lips in a wet streak to one nipple and then the other, he curled his tongue around each. Hands working in tandem, he massaged the muscle of Sam’s biceps. Although, the left remained looser compared to his right.

“Ah yeah, like that,” Sam said, bringing his hand up and into Bucky’s hair. “Like having your mouth on me, don’t you?”

“Um, I—I guess…” Bucky spoke with his lips pressed right up against Sam’s skin. He giggled but it was a nervous giggle.

“Go ahead, Buck,” Sam went about encouraging him onward, “speak your mind freely. I’m so far gone anyways, could hear anything right now, regardless of how sexy it is. Speak Russian if you want. Just talk to me, please. You’ve got a good voice.”

Bucky didn’t speak right away. He needed a hot minute to start up again and kept fiddling with the recent nipple he’d migrated to. Curling his tongue around the sensitive flesh, he kept going until it was rubbed raw, flushed hard, and Sam’s chest felt like it was on fire.

When he finally ceased his delicious torture, Sam thought Bucky might have given up on saying anything as he travelled down to the flat of Sam’s stomach. Placing a brief kiss to each band of muscle he found there, only at that did he speak.

“I love it, Sam,” Bucky said, awkward at first. “Love putting my mouth on you. Love how I make you squirm under my touch, love having you call out my name.”

“Well, do that then,” Sam said, panting under that touch, “all of it.”

To his surprise, Bucky started to tut, “so impatient.”

It rattled something inside Sam, unexpectedly. Perhaps he was so wound up by all this teasing and not a single touch to his aching dick yet, he supposed. “Yeah, well, you promised me last time that you wouldn’t tease,” he said and his voice sounded desperate even to his own ears.

It must have sounded that way to Bucky’s as well. “Jesus, you got something better to be doing?”

“No…” Sam propped his head up with a bent elbow to look at him. “I just need you to hurry it up, maybe.”

Bucky gave a broad grin, the one that Sam remembered from their last night together, especially from how noticed it had made him feel. Utterly under Bucky’s complete attention. He continued his kissing hops from spot to spot, noticing how sensitive it felt over the skin around Sam’s hips.

It was at that point Bucky’s words finally sunk in. As he laid there squirming under Bucky’s tongue and hands, it brought forth memories of the few times in Wakanda he stuck around with Steve to visit Bucky’s hut. He remembered the way Bucky would always make room for him, how he looked when he made sure Sam was listened to. It was only a few small things, an extra chair at the table, Bucky turning his head whenever he spoke. At the time, he thought Bucky just really enjoyed the extra company.

But now, Bucky knew Sam almost better than anyone else in the world. And he trusted Sam, even if he didn’t feel fully ready to trust himself. There was no one else he could think of to do this mission.

There was no one else he’d rather be spending his time with than right in this moment.

Except possibly Steve. On the mission, not the sex.

Although, Sam doubted Steve would be as willing as Bucky to pin so much weight on a criminal that wasn’t his best friend. Sam didn’t wish to linger on him for long, not while that particular best friend was swirling his tongue around Sam’s belly button.

What would Steve think of them anyways? Sam wondered if he could have seen this something forming between himself and Bucky even all the way back in Wakanda. Was that why he’d asked Sam to watch out for him, even though Sam hadn’t needed asking? Steve may not have understood the same as Bucky, but he certainly wouldn’t have kicked up as much of a fuss about Sam’s handing over of the shield, at the very least.

But Bucky had two handles on the situation: a friend’s legacy and a friend who, in his eyes, had left that legacy behind, all thrown into the mix. It would have made things complicated for him, didn’t excuse his behaviour, however.

They’d both established that up until this point.

Who knew Bucky could become this aggravating when upset over something? But then his stubborn nature had reared its head whenever Steve insisted he rest for longer in Wakanda and not join them on the run.

It all clicked together in Sam’s head suddenly and he went lax, legs sinking into the mattress, like warm water soothing sore muscles. He couldn’t deny it any longer, he felt worshipped by Bucky. Watching the man kiss across his hips and knead his fingers into his thighs, he couldn’t find a better word for it.

By the time Bucky finished his work, leant back, and began to tuck the rest of Sam’s boxers out the way, Sam was possibly the hardest he’d ever been in his life.

“See, only a little bit more waiting and I’m already here,” Bucky said and his words almost didn’t register, Sam was so ready.

“You are,” he breathed.

Bucky frowned, so in sync with Sam he sensed the subtle mood change. “Hey, I get that I’m still… struggling to do this all properly, but I’m staying put, Sam,” he said. The seriousness of his tone settled oddly with how he continued to rub at Sam’s thighs and wrapped a loose hand around Sam’s cock, tugging softly. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” And then a much quieter, “I’m trying not to let you.”

Sam remembered distinctly Bucky’s words from last time: you’re all I have. They could debate the methods he often went about expressing that sentiment all day but there would be no denying it from either man.

“Bucky, look—” Sam got cut off as his cock was abruptly swallowed down straight to the base.

Apparently, Bucky wasn’t a one trick wonder with that.

After a few leisurely bobs of his head, Bucky pulled all the way off to ask in a distinctively fake casual tone, “what were you going to say?”

“It can wait,” Sam shot back in an instant.

Bucky understood, a small smirk to his wet lips, and his mouth was on Sam once more. Bucky’s worship didn’t relent here either. He didn’t need to do much before Sam was shooting down his throat but, nonetheless, tried his best to experiment with a different pace from last time.

Sam could tell he took Bucky a little by surprise when he came without warning. Bucky gave a startled sound, choking on the motion. No time to let it land on his face, this turn.

Sam was thankful for that, not sure if he could take the image.

Bucky returned the favour then and licked Sam clean. He stopped to rest after in between Sam’s thighs.

Soon enough, Sam pawed at him, already pulling Bucky back up by his shirt. He went without resistance and kissed back with no complaints. When Sam began rutting up against him this time, Bucky didn’t hesitate to wrap his hand around Sam’s cock.

The electric fire in his stomach was starting to sizzle out. Room for a little more and Sam wanted something sharper. All that power he knew contained within Bucky gave Sam an idea.

“One more… one more, I swear,” Sam said, pleading, “Buck, I—I need you to use your metal arm.”

“You’re sure?” Bucky said. Yet he apprehensively snaked his left hand down and circled it around Sam’s shaft. He got a few testing pumps in before Sam interjected.

This wasn’t what he wanted.

“No, no, not there,” Sam said, grabbing his wrist. “I want you to spank me.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide. “You—? Want me to…?”

“I want you to spank me with your metal hand, Bucky. It shouldn’t be that hard to understand.”

Rather than moving to get that started, Bucky regarded him for a moment instead and it had Sam worried he would say no, draw the line there at how his hand would be involved in what they did here. Sam would take any response.

But eventually the corner of Bucky’s mouth tugged up into a smirk. “God, you’re insatiable,” he muttered, shaking his head and immediately began manoeuvring Sam more onto his side so he would have access to his backside.

It felt better than expected to be manhandled by this man, unlike others before Bucky’s hidden strength added something special. The implication that if Sam tried to resist him he might not feel any give to Bucky’s hold.

“If that’s what Samuel wants, that’s what he’ll get.”

“Don’t call me that,” Sam said, dreary.

“Stop calling me Buck then,” Bucky threw back at him.

Sam grinned. “You don’t mind that, though.”

Bucky smoothed his hand over one of Sam’s ass cheeks, Sam realising then that he’d barely been touching his ass during all this, and matched Sam’s smile. “Exactly,” he said. “Come up here.”

For a little longer Bucky continued his manhandling of him, experimenting, trying to find a good position. He settled for one with both on their sides with enough room for him to reach around the back and his flesh arm tucked in so he could still jerk Sam off at the same time.

Sam was getting impatient. “Bucky,” he heard himself whine.

“Stop fussing, just gimme a second.” Bucky needed to work out a way for Sam to remain still during this and that he wouldn’t have to rearrange him between slaps. “Lean on me,” he said.

Sam pushed one shoulder under himself and curled further into Bucky’s chest. From here, he felt Bucky’s hand brush over his ass without much movement from Bucky’s upper chest, whether that would hold for when he began bringing his hand down on him that would have to be seen. His other hand remained around Sam’s cock. Bucky couldn’t pump his fist by much down there, but Sam was already so close, it didn’t matter.

He gave a moan of approval, hoping Bucky got the picture.

Something must have gotten across because a moment later, Bucky’s metal hand came thundering down across Sam’s ass. He’d kept it clothed, Sam’s boxers still mostly on.

A delicious sizzle burst across the skin, nonetheless.

“Ah! Yeah, that’s more like it,” Sam said. “Hit me harder.”

Bucky paused. “Promise me, you’ll tell me if it’s too much.”

“Of course! Come on, it feels real good.”

As he spoke Bucky brought his hand down on Sam’s ass once more. Slightly hard in force and, this time, he began pumping his fist in tangent.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Sam mumbled while rolling further into Bucky’s chest, gripping at his messy shirt.

Bucky planted two smaller slaps on each one of Sam’s cheek before going back to his main spot in the middle.

Every slap gave Sam’s body an extra jolt further into Bucky’s tight fist. The strength behind the metal meant Sam was getting there faster than expected. Although that was probably the snake glands working their magic once more. Being honest with himself, it felt like the best one yet. Or maybe all the others finally caught up with him.

This way, they barely got five slaps in and Sam’s orgasm came to the surface, shuddering through him. Wherever it went once it washed through his body, it took him along with it. Sam felt himself floating away.

He didn’t fully process that Bucky had stopped until he felt his body being unfolded from Bucky’s chest.

Bucky brought a hand up to brush against Sam’s face and he was saying something. Sam tried to ask him what he’d said but suddenly Bucky smiled, kissed his forehead and, before Sam knew it, he was gone.

Sam came to more, slightly coherent, as Bucky returned to the bed with a wet cloth. It surprised him by being warm on his skin while Bucky cleaned over his stomach and hand with care.

Bucky remained gentle when he encouraged Sam onto his back, tucked him back inside his pants, and laid the bed sheet over him.

Lying there, Sam didn’t need to ask to know where Bucky was headed next. Most likely, out the door and back to his own resting place in the room adjacent.

With all the strength left in, Sam sat up.

Bucky stood there, awkward. A dark patch visible on his shirt from presumably where he’d tried to clean it.

Sam would judge him for it if he didn’t have other things on his mind in the current moment.

“I should go,” Bucky said.

Sam grimaced, he knew Bucky would try to do this and would put this distance between them when all the action was over.

Rising from the bed caught his attention and Bucky turned to him.

“I ain’t playing, Buck. Stay,” Sam said, insistent. “I’m not built that way, I can’t do what we did… and just watch you walk out of the door after.” When Bucky gave no indication of moving back over to the bed, he added in a quiet tone, “please. I’ll go ahead and say it, I want you to stay.”

Bucky looked down. But gradually he nodded, appearing convinced. A second later, he shucked his shirt off over his head, draping it across a chest of drawers to dry in the corner. His dog tags clanged together as he came back over to the bed and climbed inside.

Sam found a little extra strength to shuffle to the side, out his way. When he moved, he felt it deep within his core that he could even keep this going but his body lacked the energy to barely even raise his head right now, let alone get off. He doubted that Bucky would like the idea of jerking him off until unconsciousness.

Bucky, on his back, held out his arms. “Come here,” he directed and when Sam was close enough Bucky hauled him onto his bare chest.

Sam had enough in him to realise this would be the first time they’d been connected skin-on-skin like this.

Bucky needed a little more rearranging until he seemed comfortable. He moved his dog tags to the side that didn’t have Sam on it and twitched his hips around for an even weight distribution. Once seemingly satisfied, the hand he put on Sam’s back began to travel downwards.

Sam assumed it would stop at his lower back until he felt it slide over his ass, still sore from the spanking, fingers digging into the sensitive muscle. His brow went up. “What are you doing down there, Barnes?”

Bucky tensed, like he hadn’t expected to be questioned over this. “Trying to soothe a sore spot,” he said and his hand didn’t move away. If anything, Bucky started to stubbornly knead deeper into the swell of Sam’s buttocks. “How’s the rest of you?”

“Sated, for now… I think… I don’t know but I would much rather sleep than do anything else.” Sam let out a big breath from his lungs. “I’m a little achy, but we’ll see the full force of that in the morning.”

“It is the morning now.”

“Don’t remind me,” Sam said, grumbling. Bucky moved onto the other side of his ass and he couldn’t deny that it was working to some extent. It didn’t completely substitute for some cooling balm or aloe rub, but it was distracting enough to say the least. Drifting off, he abruptly peeked one eye open to ask, “why were you awake?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Bucky said. “Good thing, in the end, that I couldn’t.”

Sam gave an agreeing hum. He didn’t want to ask this next, but he knew the concern would eat at him. “How much of me could you hear? ’Cause I’m really hoping Zemo didn’t hear any of that.”

“He didn’t,” Bucky said. “I could only make out a low noise, I thought it was—it was you having a panic attack or something, not the opposite to that.”

Sam raised his head to look at him. “Wanted to come to my rescue, huh?”

“If you wanted me here, that’s what I was going to do.”

Sam considered him and Bucky fidgeted a little under the observation, clearly not sure what to do. “You did help,” Sam said eventually, lying back down. “I’m shattered.”

“’m not surprised,” Bucky said simply.

Sam didn’t fail to notice that Bucky hugged him tighter once he’d gotten comfortable again.

The room fell silent before Bucky said anything else.

“Anything I can do to help, Sam, let me know.”

Sam hummed. Where would this attitude be when it came to nagging him about all of Steve’s legacy and the shield, he wondered. “I’ll consider it,” he still said. “You sure you only wanted to go once?” Even after all this time, their close proximity meant he could feel Bucky’s half-chub pushing very lightly into his hitched thigh.

Nonetheless, Bucky answered with a, “very sure.”

Sam didn’t fail to notice the shift in the new silence that fell over them.

It was subtle. If he didn’t know Bucky so well, it would pass Sam by on his journey into sleep.

They hadn’t addressed any of this properly yet. Neither had established what they meant to each other and what the sex would turn into once all this was over. Sam spent the night with Bucky in his arms only to wake up alone with a helping of Bucky’s cold disposition for breakfast.

Yet, the synchronicity between them remained and even appeared stronger in a few aspects. Sam had seen Zemo’s breakout coming from a mile off, he just hadn’t wanted to admit Bucky could do it.

If only he didn’t keep nagging Sam at any given opportunity, he would let Bucky in. He wanted to.

They needed to talk about so much.

But Sam couldn’t bring himself to start. “Goodnight, Buck,” he said.

Sam felt him swallow, heard it through his chest and skin. “Night, Sam,” Bucky said back.

It was only now that Sam seemed to notice how quiet Sharon’s residences could be. All he could hear were Bucky’s slow breaths. “Watch yourself out there tomorrow,” he said, if only to fill the overwhelming silence.

“Don’t worry about me,” Bucky said, his voice low and groggy, the signs of sleep taking over him. “I’ll be fine. If you still don’t trust yourself, then trust that I’ll be there, watching your six.” He remembered the doubt that Sam expressed to him.

Sam felt himself slowly become seduced towards sleep by Bucky’s consistent heartbeat and slow breathing. Etching closer and closer, he almost missed what was being spoken to him.

“God, I hope I didn’t scare you earlier.”

Sam knew exactly what he was talking about. He exhaled, giving it a minute for the hypothetical dust to settle. “You never scare me, Buck,” he said, making sure to sound certain. “I worry about the head space you get yourself into doing these things. You never asked for that serum and I know you don’t want to do this again, after all the shit it’s put you through. But I never lost trust.”

For a long moment Bucky didn’t seem to react. He didn’t breathe either, lay there frozen. Then the arm around Sam’s back began to pull him in closer to Bucky’s chest, enough that his metal arm came over to join it.

“Squeezing me isn’t really helping your case,” Sam said, voice straining.

Bucky released him immediately with a small apology. Although, he continued to hold Sam closer than he had done before. “You always know how to say the right thing,” he said. “Whereas… all I say seems to make things worse. Steve knew that, he told me as much once.”

Always in that man’s shadow, Sam thought.

Bucky needed to stop looking to Steve to define who he was in the present. It wasn’t doing either of them a favour.

He’d always noticed Steve had a bad tendency to tell people what they wanted to hear, but not necessarily what they needed.

Bucky certainly wanted to be the worst person in the room sometimes.

Sighing, Sam shifted upwards. His body protesting at the mere concept of movement. He propped his chin up but couldn’t glance sideways at Bucky for too long without his eyes aching. “Bucky, you really believe I’d let you touch my body like you have, if I didn’t trust you to beat up a bunch of guys in a bar and let them still get back on their feet after?” Sam pulled back to meet Bucky’s eye, he didn’t need him to answer, only understand. “I’m serious, it never crossed your mind? Zemo really did a number on you. Need to stop letting that douchebag in your head. He tried to get in mine when you were throwing those men around.”

“He—wha—what did he say?”

“Something like how it seemed easy for you to get back into form.” Bucky went to speak but Sam cut him off, making sure to state, “–hey, I wasn’t paying much attention to him at the time.”

Bucky let his mouth snap shut. For once he seemed to be taking a moment to consider Sam’s word. “I don’t… it wasn’t… easy. I hated the whole fucking thing,” he said, eyes cast down. He brought them back up to Sam’s eye level to ask, “please, tell me you didn’t believe him.”

“Of course not. Shit, Barnes, what the hell do you take me for? I am not going let you come anywhere near me, let alone have sex with me, if I didn’t trust you to deal hurt unto someone and know it isn’t a great thing to be doing. What did I just say? You inconvenient me to no end sometimes… But I trust you, at least. I want things to be easier between us.”

Bucky didn’t respond, merely stared at Sam. Now, this man could stare at people but after awhile it started to make Sam worry. This stare meant something different than usual.

“Something wrong?” he said, swallowing heavily.

Bucky kept staring as he brought his metal hand to caress Sam’s face. He took a minute to map out Sam’s face, across his cheek, over an eyebrow.

Not for the first time Sam wondered if he could feel sensations through that arm.

Bucky smiled, biting at his bottom lip, like if he did not, he wouldn’t be able to contain his naked joy. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a good man, Sam?”

“It might have been brought up,” Sam mirrored his smile. He let the warmth from Bucky’s touch settle into his bones. It had been a long while since anyone looked at him like that, like something too important to put into words and yet the body still tried anyway. He could feel it unearth a rush from deep inside and that spread throughout his whole body.

It was almost too much, he needed to say something before Bucky put actions to his thoughts. The hand caressing his face was enough.

“If you need to hear it… I care about you, Bucky,” Sam said. “As hard as you can make that sometimes, the feeling ‘s still there.”

Bucky seemed smart enough for once to realise that nothing he said here would change what was between them as of yet. So he said nothing, and then leaned forward, pressed his lips to Sam’s lips in a kiss that lasted a few seconds longer than it could have, before lying back.

Sam laid back down across his chest, accepting his silence.

He woke up alone. As he thought he would.

Back in his dream-like state, the distant sound of a mug being put down and a door closing softly floated past Sam’s peripheral. The bitter smell of coffee drew him from slumber.

He found it on his bedside table.

Bucky was nowhere to be seen and he couldn’t hear any sound of him in a room nearby. He’d also gotten it wrong with how Sam liked his coffee. Not much he could do about that now as he sat up to take a sip. The thought counted, either way.

His ass was decently sore, but not enough to affect his work. He would feel Bucky’s handprints on him for the rest of the day.

Sam rose from the bed, downed the rest of his coffee, and caught a quick shower, watching all the dried muck from the night’s activities wash down the drain. He changed into his collar neck from the night before, mainly since he hadn’t brought enough clothes on this mission.

On the way out the door, Sam grabbed a jacket and hoped that change would be enough for no one would notice. He caught sight of the bed and immediately noticed how much of a mess they’d made of the sheets. He’d make his excuses to Sharon later, currently he needed to reel in his focus as he pulled the door closed and went on the look out for the others.