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Wilhemina is laying on her back, your head resting in her chest which is covered in red marks you made only a few minutes ago, you can listen and feel her hard breathing, chest rising and falling too rapidly from her recent ecstasy. You wrap your legs with hers and slip your arm around her ribcage right below her breasts, closing even more the distance between you. Minutes passes in silence while you’re waiting for her to recover from her high, your bodies are sweaty – not for the heat – and pressed to each other, none of you seems to care though.
You notice that her chest has calmed down and her breath in your cheek has turned into a slight blow of air, so since she seems back on earth you decide to break the silence. You start to lift your head up to speak but she stops your movements by placing her left hand on your cheek, as her other arm is around your neck and probably asleep by the time. She places a soft kiss on your hair.
“What?” you ask without moving as her hand is still placed in your cheek holding you gently against her chest.
“Don’t move yet”, her voice is low and you can feel the vibrations all over your face while she speaks, “Can we just stay like this a little more? ...please?” She takes her hand off your face and places it on top of yours where it was resting before.
You only nod, holding her impossibly close lifting your head just a little so you can place a little kiss on her jaw, already returning to the original position. You know her words mean a lot more then what they seem, that she likes to know you are there and that you’re not leaving after you made love, she likes stability and you’re glad to give it to her even for a few minutes and you really hope she realizes that you would do anything for her, and if it is of her wish, you would stay forever, not leaving her side for the rest of your life. You would die in that bed only to not leave her side.
You also know how sensitive she’s after reaching her climax, both physically and emotionally. In the beginning of your relationship, she didn’t want to show you that side of her, she’d make love to you and leave the bed in the next moment to wear her usual purple clothes back on, she didn’t like to just lay down and enjoy the after. It made your insecurities bubble inside of you, you thought it was just sex for her, that she had no feelings for you, but over time you realized that this was much more about her insecurities than yours.
You would have asked if her back hurts, but you know she'd be telling you if it does. Sure, you know she's still insecure about her disability and showing you her frailties, but she seems to understand now how her pains matter to you, in the present she'd say if the cuddles were making her back ache or if the position you were doing is uncomfortable for her, and you couldn't be happier about it, although you're trying to make her more and more communicative with you, about everything. It’s noticeable how far you already get, over time you’ve managed to knock down the walls she built around her. You still can remember when you’d be only allowed to call her Ms. Venable and at the same time as it makes the two of you laugh, it makes your heart wince. How hard it was back then for her to talk to you, really talk to you. Not about how her day was or how stupid the idiots who works with her were, it took so much of her to tell you that her back was killing her someday or admit to you how frustrating is for her to don’t being able to express her feelings towards you and how she needed more time. For her to tell you that she wanted some space, or tell you to not leave the bed.
Some minutes passes and none of you say anything, and you almost thought she had fallen asleep, but then she breaks the silence “Thank you.” She whispers and if her mouth weren’t so close to your ear you wouldn't have heard it.
“For what, my love?” You ask not sure of what she was thanking you for.
“For staying. Here, with me.” And then you know she isn’t just talking about staying in bed in that moment, you both know how words aren’t her thing and how difficult it is for her to express her feelings, but by time you managed to understand her without the woman needing to say a word, yet it’s clear to you that she’s doing her best to try.
“You know you don’t have to thank me; I love cuddling with you.” You kiss her exposed skin making her shiver, what made you smirk.
“You know what I meant, sweetheart.” She leans on her elbow making you do the same as she gently retired your head from where it was resting. You only nod again, both of you staring to each other eyes now, your legs still wrapped, your faces just a few inches apart that you can feel her hot breath in your cheeks and you’re sure she can feel yours too. You smile widely at her.
“What?” She looks at you in confusion, brows furrowing but she can’t hold back a grin. “What is it, sweetie? Is there something on my face?” She starts to lift her other arm to wipe whatever is supposedly on her face but you stop her movements by delicately grabbing her hand and intertwining your fingers bringing her hand down again. You finally speak up.
“There’s nothing on your face, love.” You let out another grin staring dreamily at her and before she could ask again why were you smiling you explain. “It’s just that you look so beautiful like this.” Now it’s her time to laugh, her head falling slightly back.
“Like what? Sweating and with messy hair?” When you don’t say anything she continues, “You can’t be serious sweetie, look at me.”
“Actually, I'm very serious. I love how you look after you come, with the messy hair and all. Love it even more knowing I was the reason of it.” Her face softened a bit and her gaze alternated between your eyes and mouth while you speak, the way she knows you love when she does. “In reality I think you shine. Yes, you shine like a fucking goddess- My fucking goddess.” Her face and chest get red with your words and you couldn’t be more amazed by the woman in front of you, the way she blushes when you compliment her always made you want to rip her clothes off and see how far that blush can reach, yet now you didn’t need to do that, you could just lower your gaze and see how the slightly shade of red had spread just above her breasts. You know she likes it when you compliment her even with she pretending she doesn’t, however you know it’s difficult to her believe in them, that’s why you love to remind her all the time just how amazing she’s and how beautiful she looks.
It hurts you to know that she doesn’t see herself the way you do. You wish she could. It’ll take time, you know life was never easy with her. She didn’t know anything but hardness and harsh words about her deepest insecurities before you. Her traumas – as she learned to call it – were way above anything you could do, but you’re trying your best for you work on it together. And even though you love the way she gets all flushed when you compliment her, you know why she reacts that way, how a simple gentle word here or a pet name there is capable to make her blush hard because before you she wasn’t used to it, not at all, not truly at least. That was another hindrance of complimenting Wilhemina, she would always doubt of your intentions when complimented, in the past she have told you people would only show her some sort of admiration to get more and more from her, knowing her reactions to any kind of praise even the smallest of them, these people would use that for their own benefit.
Something you love in your relationship is that while the other couples went past the stage of shame and would get used to the daily compliments, Wilhemina and you don't. With her, all you knew about being a couple was useless. At first, she would thank or simply ignore it, without sign of any slightly shade of red, sometimes she’d offered you a little smile and that was all. You tried to convince yourself that it was her way and had nothing to do with you. But as you learned later, these were her walls acting for her, not letting her be affected by your compliments. It was much more after you started dating that she started accepting your praises and showing you her other side, the one that she gets fully red with a few words coming out of your mouth.
And you absolutely love it, that’s why you can’t help but do it all the time, yet almost never around other people when you know she would react as Ms. Venable and not as your girlfriend, but for now it’s enough. You’d never admit it but deep down in your guts you like to know you are the only one who is allowed to see the real Wilhemina – not Ms. Venable – It brings you some kind of feeling that you’re special, however you can’t help but feeling extremely guilty at the same time. How can you like the way she acts around other people when you know why she does it? It’s selfish of you to want this whole side of her for you when you know that everyone should see it, even if no one deserves it, not even you. But for her you’d ward off those thoughts and all your insecurities and try to make her be herself all the time, not just when with you.
“Stop it.” She says playfully trying to hide her flushed face with her hand, you don’t know if she thinks you haven’t noticed yet. If she only knew how much you loved to see her like this. You thought to yourself.
“Stop what?” You pretend to make a confused face, grabbing her hands for the second time and moving away from her face, kissing all her fingers on the way down.
“You know what I'm talking about.” Again, of course you know what she was talking about, she was trying to make you stop the compliments but you would not be won that easy, and you know she knows that too.
“I’m not sure I know, my love. What exactly am I doing?” You play dumb on her to see how far she would go without assuming she likes it when you compliment her. She knows that you would never push her any further than she’d go, but now, just the two of you, skin to skin still glowing with sweat you weren’t trying to cross any line you hadn’t crossed before, you were playing with her and she knew how to play too. And she appreciates you so much for that, honestly, she doesn’t know how you manage to push her and make her break her own rules so many times and yet never the wrong ones, never the ones which would make her uncomfortable, never crossing the line quietly set by her. Of course, you made mistakes, everyone did, but at the end you always know what she needs of you – or doesn’t need –.
She lazily laughs at you, the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. “I’m talking serious here” - she wasn’t - “Stop it” You pretend to make a thinking face.
“How can I stop ‘it’” You gesture with your fingers, “When you won't tell me what am I doing, huh?”
“You know I don’t it like when you embarrass me by saying these things” What a lie, you think. You were getting where you wanted, but you wouldn’t stop teasing her yet.
“What things, sweetheart?” You get even more closer to her, your hipbones glued together. “How beautiful you are?” You kiss her face “How you shine after you come for me.” You whispered. Another kiss. “Or how you are my fucking goddess?” You breathed the last part in her ear, mouth touching it while you spoke, she melted with your words. You bite her earlobe and she shivers.
“Certainly. What a ridiculous thing to say.” She says but makes no move to get rid of you. Your mouth now found its way on her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses there. You keep your tone low but soft.
“Why ridiculous, my love? If they’re all true. You are the most gorgeous women I have ever laid eyes on. And you are also mine.”
“(Y/N)” She whined lifting her head giving you more access to her neck.
“What is it sweetheart? Do you want me to stop?”
“No. Please. Don’t- don’t stop.” There she was, you get where you wanted, she doesn’t say it out loud but she admitted, maybe for the first time she likes it when you compliment her. You’d make she say it at some point other than now, but for now it was all you needed to hear. So, you gladly obey her, resting your head on the curve of her neck whispering sweet little words, little nothings but still so much for her. Just for her to hear. Just for her.