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Gojo had come home, expecting his usual kiss and hug from his lover, not a lump of fur sitting in the middle of the doorway.
Gojo stared at the lump of fur.
The lump of fur stared back. It's fluffy tail swished back and forth as it regarded Gojo with blue eyes, that seemed to say " This is my house now. Get out. "
“ Nanami, ” Gojo started, hesitantly, “ There’s a ….” he hesitated, as the lump of fur started licking itself, a pink tongue darting out at its fur, “ Curse. In our house. ”
He might have been the strongest, but he enjoyed playing the “ damsel in distress ” sometimes. It was nice, and also quite attractive when Nanami helped Gojo solve whatever it was that was bothering him.
“ What? ” Nanami asked, emerging from the kitchen, a large bowl in hand.
“ That ” Gojo said, pointing at the ball of fur, which now, had stopped licking itself, a leg still in the air, and was staring very interestedly at the bowl that Nanami was holding in his hands.
“ Oh, ” Nanami said, “ That’s Catoru, ” Gojo blinked, even more confused now.
Why wasn’t Nanami getting rid of this cur- cat?
Then, as he watched, the cat got up, stretched, and ambled over to Nanami, meowing and rubbing its head on his shins, tail swishing back and forth like a pendulum, and to his horror, a gentle, tender smile spread across Nanami’s face. A smile that Gojo hadn’t seen since their last bakery date ( which was the day before ). The betrayal!
“ You’re hungry, right, Catoru? ” Nanami said, gently, leaning down to give Catoru's head a scratch, bowl in the other hand, Catoru meowing piteously as it trailed along after Nanami, winding it's tail around his legs. “ Here’s your food, ” he said, setting the bowl on the ground, and the cat dug in, making gross little chewing noises. Nanami petted Catoru as it gobbled up the food, uncaring of the copious amounts of fur that the monster was shedding all over the floor, and also on his shirt.
Gojo stared.
“ Gojo? ” Nanami asked, concerned, finally looking up from Catoru, as his husband stood in the doorway, equal parts bewildered and stumped, “ Our dinner is ready, I’ll be waiting for you, okay? ”
“ … Okay,” Gojo said.
**
Gojo was very much not okay.
He had spent an hour in the shower, googling “ how to get rid of stray cats ”, and had emerged to have dinner with Nanami. It would’ve been romantic and sweet -- Nanami had made his favorite carbonara, with garlic bread and tiramisu as dessert-- except that the gremlin of a cat had insisted that Nanami carry it, All. Through. Dinner.
Whenever Nanami tried to set Catoru down, it meowed piteously, and kept leaping onto Nanami’s lap, making things generally difficult for the both of them, and so as to appease Catoru, Nanami had carried it all through dinner, much to Gojo’s displeasure.
After dinner, Nanami had been lying across the couch -- usually an invitation for Gojo to climb into Nanami’s arms, and then their kisses and snuggling would usually turn into something more ... explicit.
That was the end goal of tonight that Gojo had been hoping to achieve.
Except that Catoru had decided that Nanami was the best spot to sit and was now purring and kneading at Nanami’s chest, making little contented noises every now and then as Nanami scratched behind its ears and under its chin, murmuring to Catoru about how cute and loveable it was. Nanami had even rejected Gojo's kisses, saying that " Catoru's here, we can't let it see us do this kind of things! "
Gojo gritted his teeth.
He was going to get rid of this cat no matter what.
As if on cue, Catoru looked over, from where it was kneading ( very comfortably ) at Nanami’s chest, and Gojo swore to all the gods there was that Catoru gave him a smirk.
Gojo resisted the urge to get the vacuum cleaner out.
**
An hour of watching TV later ( read : watching Catoru knead at Nanami’s chest ), Nanami had fallen asleep. Catoru was now loafing on Nanami’s torso; a huge lump of fur.
Gojo was not sure if he was infuriated because of the fact that
- Nanami was hugging Catoru, who was purring happily, its eyes shut
- Catoru was taking his usual spot
All right. Enough was enough.
Gojo turned off the TV, and walked over to Nanami and Catoru, careful not to wake Nanami up.
Then, carefully, he lifted Catoru up, and off Nanami.
" Mrhhhh " Catoru protested, ears pressed to its fluffy head. It was clearly unhappy with being separated from Nanami ( Just like Gojo ).
Gojo glared at Catoru, who was practically glaring at him -- if cats could glare, that is.
“ Hands off my Nanamin,” Gojo hissed, as Catoru hung docilely from his grasp, a smug expression on its face as if to say, “ Ha! I managed to spend more time with your boyfriend than you could !! ”
If this were a game, Catoru would have won Gojo 1-0. Fair and square. But if this were a game, Gojo would have dropkicked Catoru out of their house too. Who did this cat think it was, trying to steal Gojo's precious Nanamin time?
“ Mrow ” Catoru replied, tail swishing unhappily from side to side.
Gojo might not have known cat speak for “ fuck you ”, but when he heard it, he knew it.
“ Well, fuck you too, ” Gojo replied, setting Catoru down onto the ground, the cat shaking its fluffy head, as it scurried off to a distant corner of the room, giving Gojo a baleful look as it began licking itself, luminous blue eyes glowing from the shadows, like some kind of demon ( apt ).
Gojo glared at Catoru once more, as he carried Nanami, then hissed again, for good measure, before heading for their bedroom.
Blessedly, Catoru did not follow.
**
The next morning, Nanami woke up to an empty bed.
That was weird.
Gojo usually enjoyed laying in bed with Nanami, his long arms and limbs cuddling Nanami like some kind of overgrown, large, octopus ( Nanami had told Gojo this about a million times but Gojo said he was more attractive and gave better hugs than any octopus did ).
He got up, and headed to the living room, and then, spotted Gojo.
He was curled up on the sofa, like a shrimp, asleep, and Catoru’s food bowl and water bowl had been refilled. There was some kitty kibble on the floor around Catoru’s bowl, a sign that Catoru had eaten its fill.
Catoru, in question, was curled up in Gojo’s arms, and was fast asleep, purring contentedly, belly bared for the world to see.
And if Nanami took a picture of his husband and Catoru -- the person, and the cat he loved the most and set it as his wallpaper, no one had to know.