Chapter Text
Diluc was not a happy man. He did not consider himself in a positive light by any means. All he saw when he looked in the mirror was a weak man who deserved nothing. All he saw was a sad, pathetic little thing that grew more and more hopeless with each day that passed.
That was not the life Diluc wanted to live— but it was. His mind always refused to relent, leaving him in a broken mental state that he couldn’t even begin to fix.
It was painful. It was so, so painful. Diluc saw no escape for himself; every day was the same. There was only one light in his life that kept him from ending it all, and she didn’t even know it. If anything, she probably thought he hated her.
She was a regular at the bar, and her hair was as pigmented as the wine she drank. Her smirks and the shine in her eyes never failed to make his heart flip, his chest tighten.
Sometimes he considered telling her before he threw it all away. Sometimes he considered saying nothing before walking off into the forest to never be seen again.
The woman he cherished loved to tease him. He put forth the front that it bothered him, when in reality it gave him a bit of comfort, in an odd way. It was the worst day of his life when he realized he loved her. The walls Diluc had worked so hard to keep raised had been broken through and it terrified him. His heart was too easy to be broken; he had done everything he could to keep it protected.
He froze it, tossed it into a safe, tossed that safe underground, then moved a mountain over the area, but somehow she managed to barrel through it all. Somehow she managed to take his heart into her hands and hold it, warming the thing up. It made him upset, but— also happy.
Diluc confused himself. He had so many conflicting emotions in his mind that he didn’t know what to do with. It upset him. He wanted to be happy, he wanted to trust her, but his body wouldn’t let him.
It was like trying to shove an entire city— his defenses lowered , but he couldn’t do shit about it? He couldn’t act on his feelings without freezing from pure terror?
Diluc hated it. He hated him. He wished he wasn’t a coward. He didn’t want to be a coward anymore. He wanted to rest.
Sitting in the bar, he kept to himself. The door opened so he looked, and there she stood; the keeper of his heart. Turning, he hid his face in his arms as his face flushed red.