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“Alright let's call practice off- go straight home and rest, hopefully tomorrow is better..”
Their manager gave Hyunjin a not so subtle glance before helping the rest of the staff pack and clean everything up for the night. The promotions for Thunderous ended a little over three weeks ago, after a few days of rest and some members going home to their parents they were called back to begin preparing for the repackaged comeback. Hyunjin has been struggling with the choreography since they started dance practice back up a few days ago, and it was honestly a bit humiliating for him. He was one of the main dancers and yet he was the only one way behind everyone else.
Rationally he knew that they were far from being perfect, and they all had to polish up the details but he felt that given his position in the group, he should not be stumbling around and messing up the moves as much as he is. Hyunjin sighed and walked over to his bag, slinging it over his shoulder before going over to Chan. “Hyung.. I’m going to go to one of the practice rooms for some more practice.. I promise three hours tops..” he said, sipping on his water and looking at his phone to check the time.
“We’ve all been at it for hours jinnie, why don't you come home, have a good meal and rest, we can work out all the rough patches tomorrow..” Chan said. Hyunjin sighed softly, shaking his head. “No hyung, i won't be able to rest, please.. Three hours tops!” he insisted, already heading out of the room to head downstairs to the solo practice rooms that were smaller and didn’t need to be booked beforehand, Chan went to follow the younger when Minho grabbed his arm softly. “Leave him, you know how he can be. If he doesn't follow through on his being home in three hours then I'll come get him.” Chan sighed, but decided to pack up his stuff and go home with the rest.
Hyunjin huffed as he pulled himself to his feet to go restart the music again for what feels like the hundredth time. His exasperated breathing and heavy footsteps echoing in the small dance studio. He was beyond exhausted, having finished all his water and gone through the little bit of snacks he had in his bag which didn’t help at all. But he didn’t focus on how hungry he was, he was more focused on how he still couldn’t get the damn moves down.
He ran through the dance a couple more times, getting more and more frustrated, overwhelmed and tired as the night went on. He just couldn't understand why it wasnt clicking. The dance was only a bit more advanced than what they usually do. He let himself slump down on the floor when the song finished again, groaning at how sore his legs felt. He usually wasn’t this hard on himself either.. But over the small break he found himself deep within threads on instagram reading over comments he probably should have just ignored. Chan had always warned them to be careful and to not pay attention to the negative comments. He couldn't help it and ever since that night he felt a bit insecure of his main dancer position within the group.
He stood up quickly, shaking his head of the thoughts as he played the song again, repeating it over and over. Suddenly, as he went to the move he had the most trouble doing his ankle twisted underneath him. A startling crack was heard as he fell down, the weight of his body crashing down on his foot. He cried out, his hands rushing to press down on his ankle. His vision blurred and he felt like he could throw up any second, the pain unbearable.
After a few minutes he slowly tried to stretch out his foot, and after a couple more minutes he carefully stood up. He whimpered and just barely limped over to his bag. He decided on his painfully slow walk home to just take a quick shower and go right to bed, and it would be better in the morning. They didn't need to know, they all get hurt during their dance practices every so often, it’ll go away.
Luckily when he got to the dorms Seungmin, Felix, Jeongin and Chan had all gone to sleep, while the rest were busy doing something. As quickly as he could he grabbed a change of clothes and showered. Even with the pain, he couldn't bear the idea of sleeping dirty. He crawled into bed slowly, sighing as he pulled the covers over himself.
“Hyunnjinniee!” Jisung appeared suddenly, jumping onto the bed beside the other and wrapping his arms around him into a tight hug. The movement caused his ankle to move, spiking pain up all over his foot. Hyunjin groaned, shoving Jisung off him. “Yah! Leave me alone!” he snapped, catching the other boy by surprise. Hyunjin immediately felt bad, pulling Jisung back to him after seeing the look on his face.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I had a rough day and I shouldn't take it out on you.” he said softly, biting his bottom lip, trying to not cry from the pain he felt. But the tears welled up in his eyes before he could control it. Jisung gasped softly, whipping the tear off his cheek softly “No no its okay dont cry.. We all have our bad days.. Is.. Is there anything you want to talk about..” he asked softly as he pulled Hyunjin closer.
Hyunjin sniffled, letting his head rest on Jisung’s chest. He didn’t want to tell him about his foot, as he would go tell Chan and he would end up being put on a break. He didn’t want to miss out on anything again, his hiatus fucking sucked and he just got back. However, he knew he needed to say something. ‘A few days ago I read some… comments. Bad comments… and it made me feel a bit insecure about my dancing.. Singing. Everything. And.. a few said I hold you guys back and I can't help but agree.. I mean..” he trailed off, not realizing he began crying more as he spoke.
“Hey hey no, Jinnie listen to me. Look at me” he felt hands on his cheeks, lifting his head up softly. He sniffed, looking Jisung in the eyes. “Do you even realize how much you are needed, you- you are so fucking special Hyunjin. I know it's easier said than done, but don't listen to a bunch of lowlifes who comment that shit. You are such an amazing dancer, singer, rapper- everything! We need you.. Just like we need Chan, like we need Minho. We need everyone.. Everyone is needed.” Jisung said, not letting Hyunjin move away as he spoke. Hyunjin just nuzzled into the others arms, not having enough energy to say anything more than a soft ‘thank you’ as he fell asleep, physically and emotionally exhausted. Jisung sighed softly, hugging him close before drifting off to sleep.
Hyunjin stirred, rolling over as he was awoken by his alarm clock but he immediately regretted the movement when he felt a sharp pain from his ankle. Luckily Jisung had already left, as he couldn't keep in the whimper that came out. He laid still, his hands coming up to pull at his hair. The adrenaline must have been what made him get through last night because the pain was more than he's ever felt before. After a few minutes, he turned his head after hearing the door open- Chan walking in.
“Oh you’re awake.. Are you awake enough to talk a little bit..?” he said, smiling softly. Hyunjin sighed, given the way Chan was looking at him Jisung must have said something. Chan sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at Hyunjin with a soft smile, but it didn’t hide the concern on the leader's face. “Don't be upset, he was very worried..”
Hyunjin sat up carefully, “Hyung it’s ok. I just read some comments, that's all, I’ll be more careful.” he said softly, he hated making them worry, but especially Chan as he had enough to do. He didn’t need to have one more thing to worry about.
The leader was quiet for a moment before grabbing Hyunjin’s hand softly, making the younger look up at him. “I think you should take a rest for toda-“ hyunjin shook his head immediately, this was exactly what he didn’t want.
“NO! Please.. if I say here all I will think about is how to fix what I need to get right with the dance. Hyung, I promise everything is ok..” he pleaded. Chan’s eyes widened, not expecting him to have an outburst like that. “Hyunjin.. Jisung said the comments are what was affecting your dancing. If they are getting to you like that then it is ok to take a brea-“ Hyunjin shook his head again. “No hyung, I will not take a break again. I can’t!” He said, shaking his head once again.
They were both silent, both not wanting to back down. Hyunjin thought for a second before looking back up at the leader. “How about this.. I rest for a little while and eat before joining you all at practice in about.. two or three hours?” He suggested quietly, maybe a compromise would get Chan off his back for now.
Chan pursed his lips, thinking to himself for a moment. “Fine. But we will talk more about this.. when you're ready, okay?” He said softly, his head running through hyunjins hair. Hyunjin smiled, watching him walk out of the room before letting his body sulk back down into the sheets.
Hyunjin carefully got out of bed when he heard the front door close. He was actually glad he thought of that compromise, it would give him the chance to sneak some painkillers and look for some wraps to secure his foot a little better. He knew he should have told someone.. but he didn’t want to be put on break again. It’ll go away…
He went to the small closet he knew had all the medications and medical supplies at the dorms. They often had gotten sick, gotten injured. The managers wanted to avoid going to hospitals as much as they could. He grabbed the strongest bottle of painkillers they had and compression socks.
After a bowl of ramen, two pills later and pulling on the compression sock he pulled on some clothes and headed to the company. The pain was still there, but the painkillers were already kicking in and he brought more with him for when he would be able to take more. He could pull through without having to tell anyone.
He opened the practice room door, everyone taking a break and eating dinner that a manager dropped off. He walked over, sitting beside Felix and resting his head on the other shoulder. “Hey guys” he smiled, keeping his bad ankle laid out beside him so he wouldn’t aggravate it.
He could tell by all their faces that jisung must have told them all about what happened last night. He wasn’t really upset with him, as he knows he would have done the same thing if it were the other way around. They didn’t say anything about it, smiling back and offering food to him.
He munched on some fruit, and drank water. Before he knew it, it was time to start practice again. He concealed the fact that he dreaded having to start dancing so soon.
After a few runs, he was more than frustrated with himself. He still was messing up throughout the dance. Even more now that his foot was killing him. “Let’s run through it again! Hyunjin quit slacking and keep up!” Their manager said loudly, going to steer the music again.
Chan looked up, about ready to say something but Minho grabbed his arm and shook his head, knowing the last thing Hyunjin would want is more attention on him. Hyunjin looked down, embarrassed from being called out like that.
The music started up and they got back into their first positions. Hyunjin moved his ankle a bit in the wrong direction causing him to stumble into Jeongin. The two collided and Jeongin’s foot ended up stepping on Hyunjin’s.
Hyunjin hit the ground immediately, crying out in pain feeling his ankle crack once again. “Hyung I’m so sorry!!” Jeongin was at his side, helping the other to get into a position that wasn’t putting pressure on his foot. The others rushed to them, gathering around Hyunjin who looked on the verge of crying “It’s fine- fuck.. it’s fine let’s continue..” He tried getting back up.
“Let me look at it first, '' Minho said, while Changbin and Felix pushed Hyunjin back down. “No I’m fine reall-“ he let out another pained cry as Minho just barely began to take his shoe off. Everyone looked confused since he already had a compression sock on.
He looked down, knowing that he should have been honest right from the get go. “Why do you already have that on?” Minho asked, eyebrows raised as he looked up at Hyunjin. The younger signed, biting on his lip before he looked up at his members.
“Last night.. when I was practicing alone I think I sprained it.. I know I know I should have told you!” He said as everyone looked concerned as soon as he was honest with them. “But.. I didn’t want to be side lined, I just got back and I don’t want you to go on without me again.. I hated those seven months! I can’t.. I don’t want to be forced to go on break again!” He began venting his feelings, tears welling up in his eyes again.
“Jinnie..” Felix didn’t know what to say, his arms wrapping around him tightly as he felt his own tears coming. “You got seriously hurt.. and made it worse by hiding it..” he said frowning as he looked up at him again.
“I know..” he whimpered, pulling his foot away abruptly as he felt Minho trying to take off the compression. “It hurts!” He cried, shaking his head as the older tried again.
“I’m sorry baby but we need to get that off.. I know it’s helping with your swelling but I need to see how severe this is okay? I definitely heard your ankle crack when you fell.” He said, gently grabbing the boys ankle and taking off the sock carefully but quickly.
“Oh shit..” Minho couldn’t help but gasp at his bruised and swollen it was. Their manager knelt down, taking a look at the injury. “Go home, ice it and don’t do anything to aggravate it for a few days. Should be fine after that.”
Chan’s head snapped up, looking at their manager who was acting way too nonchalant about this. “No, we're taking him to the hospital.” He said firmly. He knew the rules, however this was way more than a three day injury that would heal up quickly. “Chan, it’s a sprained ankle he’ll be fine. I’ll drive him home and you guys can keep practicing.. he’s already held us up enough by not getting the moves right fast enough.”
The members all looked up after hearing that, not believing that he actually said that. “How dare you! He’s injured, and all you can are about is the fucking choreography? That can wait!” Chan snapped, having enough of their manager. It’s always been like this, always fighting the management on what’s best for him and his members.
The others having already piled Hyunjin up without putting any weight on his foot, heading out the door. “There are rules in place-“ their manager started. “Fuck the rules!” Changbin huffed, shoving past the man and pulling Chan with him knowing that their manager would never agree. “Let’s just go, Minho can drive us.”
Hyunjin stared down at the cast, listening as the doctor and members talked. They had to wait in the lobby until after, and now the doctor was filling them in.
“Mr. Hwangs ankle originally was just sprained, but the dancing and it being stepped on is what broke it. It’s a small fracture, and will heal quickly given you do not put any weight on it or do anything to aggravate it. About 6 to 8 weeks with the cast, once the cast is removed you should still not dance for about 3 to 5 weeks just to be safe.” The doctor explained.
Once the doctor left, it was silent for a few moments before they heard soft sniffling. They looked over to Hyunjin, who was holding back tears. Chan rushed over and pulled the by closer, rubbing a comforting hand over his back. “It’s okay...everything’s going to be okay”
Hyunjin cried more, shaking his head. “They’re going to put me on break, and you will move forward with the album-“
“No baby, we will not move forward without you again. We’ll talk to the ceo, or management. We’ll find a way. But we will not move forward with the comeback without you..” Chan said firmly, wiping the tears from his cheek.
“Those seven months..” Jisung started, moving his chair closer. “They were so hard on us too jinni. We hated not having you with us.” He said, grabbing his hand and looks into his eyes. Hyunjin sniffled, believing every word because of how sincere he was being.
“It’s not fair to you guys.. it’s my stupid mistake..” he said softly. “It doesn’t matter hyung. We don’t want to be without you.” Seungmin spoke up, Jeongin and Felix nodding beside him.
Hyunjin smiled, leaning against Chan as he looked at all his members. Everything would be okay.