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Clarke didn’t understand hockey or it’s allure to angry men. She also didn’t know how exactly she became friends with three professional players… well two and one that was just injured and told he could never play again. Though that made her grateful because it meant that while everyone else was screaming about what was going on, Bellamy could be explaining what was going on with that solemn look on his face, completely pissed off that he’s the one on the stands, not the guy that helped put him there.
She knew it was a lot more than that. She knew that Bellamy wasn’t broken irrevocably, that he would heal and probably go into teaching history. She could see that for him and she would love for him to be happy again. She hated seeing him hurting.
His eyes caught hers in the rear view mirror as he drove to the stadium. She and Finn were in the back seat, Bellamy placing his giant cooler of snacks and medicines right between them. She knew that Bellamy didn’t like Finn but he never actually gave her a reason why. Octavia sat in the passenger seat texting her boyfriend who was playing against Miller and Murphy, probably another reason Bellamy would be pissed off during the game, he’s not on the ice beating up his sister’s boyfriend.
She knew Bellamy for six years, all of which he was playing professional hockey. They bickered and fought over everything but when it came down to it, Clarke would trust Bellamy to make life and death decisions for her if it came down to it. She trusted him wholeheartedly and sometimes she thought maybe they had whole conversations with just a look. She didn’t know what his eyes were trying to tell her this time though.
“Bellamy!” Octavia squealed. “Are you even paying attention to the road?”
Their eye contact broke as Bellamy looked at his sister before looking back at the road. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry I thought I missed the exit. It’s the next one.”
“You should know that, you’ve been going there five times a week for six years.”
“I know. I just… I don’t want to come to the game when I can’t play.”
“Murphy is fine without our support, but Miller? That boy wants us there whether he admits it or not.”
Clarke chuckled, she couldn’t imagine Miller asking people to come watch him play. They either do or don’t, no skin off his back. Bellamy looked back at her again for a moment and her stomach flipped.
That was also a problem, she didn’t want to be a puck bunny or have anyone think that because she’s friends with the players that she was fucking them. So she started dating Finn, he was the safe choice—aside from his rebellious streak—because he wasn’t a hockey player.
It should have been awkward, sitting in the car with her boyfriend and best friends and he’s sitting on his phone but Bellamy and Finn didn’t get along. Finn didn’t understand why Bellamy was so protective and Bellamy didn’t understand how Finn could be so cavalier about everything .
Sometimes Clarke thought that she wasn’t protecting herself from hockey players in total but just one in particular that could break her heart without even knowing it. If he didn’t know, she’d never get hurt… God, that’s such a childish notion.
Clarke pulled out her phone and texted Finn: Whatcha doin?
Yeah, she brought herself down to using slang, she didn’t want Finn to take the question seriously.
Finn: Just avoiding Blake’s righteous opinions.
Bellamy didn’t have righteous opinions… Bellamy has opinions about treating people with respect.
Clarke: You should really give him a chance. He’s been there for me through everything.
Finn: Define everything.
Clarke: That’s not fair, you want me to tell you about my past but you never open up about yours.
Finn: Did you fuck him?
Her eyes darted up to Bellamy in the rear view mirror and grimaced. No, she never fucked Bellamy, but she didn’t stop herself from being jealous of the girls she could hear him fuck in his room when she slept over nor stop her from getting herself off to the sound of them fucking through the wall.
Clarke: Seriously? No.
Finn: You can’t expect me to believe that.
Clarke rolled her eyes and dropped her phone, ignoring Bellamy’s eyes on her as he took the exit to the stadium. Five more minutes and the car was parked in the employee lot, a perk for Bellamy since he couldn’t play anymore, along with season passes for the next few years as far as Clarke knew. He didn’t like to talk about it.
It was awkward. Finn and Clarke weren’t talking yet he latched onto her hand like a life preserver as they walked into the stadium. Clarke tried talking to Bellamy but Finn would interrupt her as she was about to speak with some irrelevant statement that made her shut up. She knew Bellamy was watching closely but that didn’t stop Finn from doing it and it didn’t stop Clarke from feeling like an irrelevant pebble being kicked around between bored five year olds.
They grabbed snacks and beer before Bellamy went to talk to the team in the locker room. He came back with extra beer for everyone and took his seat next to Clarke opposite Finn. Octavia went to wish Lincoln luck though he was their team’s rival. It was all around awkward until the game started.
Finn was still on his phone and Clarke regretted asking him to come. Bellamy began telling her every single play that was happening and Clarke smiled, loving how animated he was with his explanations of everything.
She jumped to her feet when their team scored, cheering loudly and Bellamy chuckled next to her in his seat since it was difficult for him to stand up and sit down so quickly and her heart ached for him. His recovery from his accident was painstakingly long and she didn’t know how she could help him or even if she could.
At half time they were up by five, Octavia pouted opposite Bellamy, texting away, likely to Lincoln even though they're not allowed to look at their phones during the game so they don't psych themselves out. They had some gimmick going on the Jumbotron and Clarke looked at Finn trying to get his attention, it was like he didn’t want to be there with her at all.
She looked back and the Jumbotron read "Kiss cam" and Clarke and Finn were in the center of the heart.
“No,” he said simply glaring at the screen.
Clarke looked at him dumbfounded, he told her he loved her last week, why was he acting like this?
She couldn't ask because a hand cupped her jaw and turned her head in the other direction and lips were crashing against hers.
Bellamy’s lips.
Bellamy was kissing her.
Wanting to or not, she couldn’t pull away, not after wanting him for so long. He tasted like beer and spearmint as his tongue slipped between her lips, sliding against her own. She vaguely heard him mutter Princess between breaths and licking her lips. Maybe he wanted her too…
The thought died the moment his lips were pulled from her and she didn’t realize for a moment that it was because Finn had sucker punched Bellamy while he was kissing her on the kiss cam.
Bellamy stood, fury in his eyes as he glared down at Finn, inches shorter than Bellamy. “Try and hurt me all you want, but her … she deserves the world and I’ll be damned if you ever touch her no one will find your body.”
“Bellamy—“ Clarke said, standing up and looked between him and Finn, torn. She wanted to stay with Bellamy and find out why but she also knew that Finn wouldn’t stop. “We’re going to go. Tell Murphy and Miller they were great for me.”
Bellamy grimaced. “Yeah.”
She grabbed her small purse and looked at Finn, his eyes not leaving Bellamy. “Finn, let’s go.” She pushed against his chest and finally he stepped back into the aisle and headed up the stairs to get out of the stadium.
As they walked to the exit, Finn’s phone wouldn’t stop ringing while Clarke ordered them an overpriced Uber.
“Who keeps calling you?”
“My neighbor.”
“Just answer it.”
“I’m not in the mood.”
“You haven’t been in the mood for anything today.”
“Are you seriously going to go there? You kissed him back!”
“Yeah, I felt wanted for the first time in weeks because my boyfriend has been avoiding me.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you, I told you I had a huge project at work that would be taking up all my free time.” His phone rang again and he pulled it out of his pocket. “What?”
Clarke vaguely heard a woman on the other end of the line and grimaced, his neighbors were all men. Who was he on the phone with?
“I told you I was going to the game… You what? No, Raven, I… I can’t talk about this right now. I’ll see you later.”
“Who’s Raven?” she asked once he hung up.
“My neighbor.”
“No, Ilian and Roan are your neighbors and their girlfriends are Gaia and Ash… There's no Raven. Who is she?”
“Right here,” a voice said behind them and Clarke turned around to find a tall brunette behind them and realization slapped her. The ex-girlfriend.
“Your ex?”
“Ex?” Raven asked, her eyes jumping between Clarke and Finn. “I’m his fiancé.”
Clarke scoffed. “I’m not doing this. I’m sorry,” she said to Raven. “I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have…”
“I’m not mad at you, but maybe that guy that kissed you… you should talk to him, if a man kissed me like that… I wouldn’t be breaking up with this asshole.”
“Clarke, wait,” Finn started and Clarke grimaced at him.
“No. Your fiancé is right. You used me to cheat on her. Bellamy would never do that, not to anyone he was in a relationship with let alone me. Whatever I was to you, it doesn’t matter.”
“I love you!”
Clarke looked at Raven. “Good thing you were planning on breaking up with him.”
Raven nodded. “I’m sorry it all happened like this.”
“Me too.” She started walking off, they were out of the stadium and she didn’t have her ticket on her so she couldn’t get back in and she didn’t want to deal with an Uber right then so she cancelled it and continued walking.
She didn’t know how long she was walking for when it started to rain, just a light drizzle that was barely annoying but quite captured her mood. It wasn’t cold enough to snow but this rain would be less annoying as snow.
Too used to the soft glow of headlights behind her and passing by that when the headlights didn’t pass and were just following close behind she stopped and turned around to find the grill of Bellamy’s all too familiar SUV coming to a stop on the shoulder.
“What are you doing out here?” he called, getting out of the car.
She turned back around and continued walking. “Going home.”
“It’s raining!”
“I need to think.”
His hand grasped her shoulder and she froze. Why couldn’t he let this go? “You’re shivering, let me drive you home.”
“I want to walk.”
His hand slid off her shoulder and down her arm, loosely holding onto her forearm. “What happened after you left?”
“His fiancé showed up.” Plain. Simple. Easy.
“His fiancé?”
“Yeah. I think we both dumped him. He told me he loved me.”
“He doesn’t. He couldn’t.”
Clarke turned around and glared at Bellamy. This wasn’t some game to her, no, Finn wasn’t the best boyfriend and they likely weren’t going to last but that wasn’t up to Bellamy to decide. This was Clarke and Finn… and Raven. “Why not? Why is it so unbelievable for a man to love me?”
“That’s not what I said but that’s not love, Clarke. Love is…” He sighed, taking her hand in his properly and lifted her chin with the other to look her in the eyes while he spoke. “It’s accepting that you'll never want to be with someone like me and letting you go, hoping that while on the sidelines that your perception of what you're looking for somehow changes to the person that I am. That being your friend first was always a better start for us. That the way you look at me changes over the years from just friends to yeah, I could love him .”
No. No, he couldn’t. This couldn’t be more than him telling her that Finn was a bad choice. He wasn’t putting himself out there right now while she’s trying to comprehend what all happened at halftime.“What are you saying?”
“Being your friend has always been painful because I could never hold you. I love you and I know I’m not worth anything right now and—“
“Stop it. You’re worth everything. Why do you talk about yourself like this? You were the captain of your team and yeah, you got hurt and can’t play anymore but that doesn’t make you worthless. You… you put your sister through college and you make sure all of your friends are happy to the point where your happiness is based on theirs.”
Bellamy smiled down at her. “You noticed all that?”
“You wear your heart on your sleeve.”
“And you wear yours close to the vest, leaving me hanging…”
“Finn hurt like salt in an open wound but loving you tore the wound open initially, making me vulnerable to the salt."
“So you love me?”
“I made myself stop.”
“You made yourself? Clarke, those feelings don’t just go away…”
“I buried them.”
“Princess… are you willing to go on a treasure hunt for me and dig it back up.”
She scoffed at his bad analogy. “Yes, but I need some time to digest everything.”
His forehead dropped to hers as he nodded. “I can wait, but can I get a kiss first?”
Clarke nodded back against his forehead and Bellamy smiled before ducking his head. What initially started as a peck on the lips quickly turned into a heated kiss with rain pelting down on them on the side of the road.
Her arms looped around his neck, her body pressing into his, their clothes soaking wet. He tasted more like spearmint than beer this time.
“Fuck,” he groaned pulling away. “Come on, let’s get you warm.”
She nodded, in no place to argue with him when they’re both completely drenched.
“Come back to mine, we’ll get warm and—“ he noticed her freeze. “I didn’t mean… I live closer than you and the rain should stop by morning. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Clarke smiled. She should’ve say no, but she did love him. She truly loved every aspect of this man who somehow surpassed his sister in being her best friend. He was the better listener and sounding board, the better shoulder to cry on. Maybe it was all the emotional trauma growing up and having to grow up too fast that caused it in him but Clark would forever be grateful for everything that was Bellamy Blake.
“Your bed’s big enough for two.”
“I’m not pushing you.”
“You’re not. Two best friends in love sharing a bed, I think we can handle it.”
“You’re asking a lot of my restraint, baby.”
A year later, Bellamy proposed on the Kiss Cam, Clarke didn’t hesitate to say yes.