Chapter Text
Of course the news was devastating. Sam sat on the hospital bed in Edlund Medical Center. The place had become far too familiar to him. All the doctors knew him. Hell, they knew him better than Sam knew himself. “You’re a fighter, Sam. I’ll admit that,” his doctor said as she sat down on his chair in front of him. “I really wish I could say something else…”
“So, I’m guessing going back on chemo is out of the question,” Sam said, his voice shaking as he subconsciously began to adjust the black beanie he wore.
“I think your PET scan answers that question, buddy. We just think it would be better for you if you just… wait it out.”
Wait it out. The words played over in Sam’s mind over and over as his doctor continued talking. What has it been? Three years since he learned about the goddamn cancer cells. 2 years since he’s been pulled out of school and his dream of being a lawyer was wiped away as if it never existed. 1 year since his older brother moved in with him because nobody thought Sam could live on his own. 6 months since the cells really began spreading. 3 months since they took him off chemo. And now, 1 month to live… give or take.
Sam’s whole life was now all based on statistics. He’s not even known as Sam Winchester anymore. He’s known as Stage IV acute lymphocytic leukemia patient. Age 24. Patient number- “Sir?” The doctor snapped in front of Sam’s face to catch his attention again. “Are you alright?”
Sam nodded and got off the bed, the quick motion made his head feel like it was beginning to spin, and his sight went blotchy. But it didn’t bother him. Honestly, this had begun to happen every time he stood up quicker than he should have, nowadays. So it didn’t bother him. “May I go now?” The doctor nodded, and before he had the chance to say anything else, Sam picked up his laptop bag and left quickly.
A few doctors noticed Sam’s quick pace. Some had stopped him and told him that he should probably conserve his energy. Of course they would. They’d seen him at least once a month for the past three years. They know him. They know how he acts when nervous. They know how easily Sam can run himself down. They also know about the time that he ended up having a seizure on the hospital floor.
The bright, February, sun almost blinded Sam as he stepped outside. He winced and looked down at the concrete, trying to get his bearings again, his headache feeling like it was worsening ever so slightly because of the light. He began to dig around in his bag to find his phone, but before he had the chance to even get it out, a classic rock song and the sound of an engine revving signaled that his ride was already here.
He looked up to see the jet black, 1967 Chevy Impala his older brother owned, drive up. “Hey, Sammy,” Dean said smiling as Sam climbed in the passenger side. “So, how’re you feeling?”
“I told you not to wait for me.” Sam said, ignoring Dean’s questions as he attempted to get at least a little comfortable in the car. He was hoping he would be able to sleep. Even if it was for only the 10 minute drive that was from the hospital to their apartment.
“And I told you I have nothing better to do than keep my eye on you. Besides, Cali is nothing like they say it is. I was expecting more swimming pools and movie stars. Less earthquakes and protesters.” Dean said as he pressed the gas pedal and they began to drive out of the parking lot.
“What about… uh… what’s her name? Anne? Annie… or something like that?” Sam asked teasingly.
“It’s Anne Marie, and no. I just talk to her every once and a while, nothing there.” Sam opened his mouth to say something else, but Dean cut him off. “And Lisa is a ‘no’ too. I don’t go back with exes. Especially one that works in that god forsaken place that they call a hospital.”
Bitterness was evident in his voice and his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. They told Dean first. Sam thought to himself. I bet it was Lisa who actually told him. She was the one who usually delivered the bad news. There was another nurse, Castiel, who always said the good news. So Dean was a bigger fan of him, for obvious reasons. And Cas had been a family friend for a while. He’s known Sam since before he got sick, and he knew Dean even longer. Then there was his doctor. She told him to call her Jody, considering they see each other so often, but he still refers to her as Dr. Mills most of the time.
“So, how was the appointment?” Dean said, forcing a smile again as he glanced over at Sam.
“You already know. Why are you asking?” he answered, letting his eyes close and the wind from the open window cooled him down. “The estimate that I have left is one month. The doctor is still a douche bag. And one of the nurses said I should use my wish now so I don’t waste it.”
Dean was quiet for a few moments, the only noise was the wind whipping through the windows and the gentle sound of stairway to heaven playing on the radio. “I don’t know what you want me to say to that, Sammy.”
“Nothing to say.” Sam said as he turned from the window to look at Dean. “It’s just… you said mom had it,” Dean looked over at Sam. “So why the hell don’t you have it too?”
They’ve had this conversation before. Sam knows exactly what Dean’s going to say. “She was pregnant with you when she was diagnosed, you know that.” Yep, that was the answer he was expecting. “But don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t prefer myself have this than you.” Sam sat up slightly. That part was new. Maybe the people at the hospital had told Dean something different. More in depth about what’s happening to him maybe? Just like the doctors, Dean knew more about Sam then he knew about himself.
“Go to sleep, Sammy.” Dean’s voice sounded hurt. Almost broken. Ever since there mom died, Dean pretty much took over the role as Sam’s parent. Their dad was no help at all. The man drank too much. He ended up dying too. Sam tried to calm himself down and get comfortable once again. It should’ve been hard with all of those thoughts clouding his head. But it wasn’t. He was out like a light as soon as he found the right position, the wind still hitting his face.
Sam’s eyelids felt heavy, but he opened them anyways. Once he noticed he wasn’t in the car anymore, he sighed, then tried to tell which room he was in by just looking at the ceiling. Still too tired to even attempt to look around the room. He could hear Dean’s voice. It sounded somewhat distant. He guessed that Dean was probably on the phone in his room. Maybe was talking to Cas about how he should be able to do something about this. Sam knew he couldn’t. Even if he could find something to do, he wasn’t even Sam’s doctor. He just did shots, checked temperatures, did blood tests, talked to the other patients, and helped with the occasional bed adjustment. Most of the time, Cas didn’t really know anything that’s happening with Sam either. He just heard things that Jody ended up mumbling to herself as she read off everything that Cas had written down.
“‘Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Dean said as he walked into the room.
‘Living room. Probably’ Sam thought to himself.
“How long was I asleep?” Sam asked sitting up, rubbing his hands over his eyes until the black dots stopped dancing over his vision.
“Only about half an hour.” Dean’s hand was covering the speaker of the phone. “Oh, and your Skype or whatever the hell it’s called has been doing that noise thing when you have a call for a while now.”
“What?!” Sam shouted, instantly more awake. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Didn’t want to wake you,” he said as if it was obvious. “Don’t worry. I’m sure your little internet boyfriend is still sitting in front of his computer waiting for you to answer.”
Sam stood up from the couch quickly and walked to his room. His laptop was already set up on his desk, charging and everything. Sure enough, Dean was right. The ring was going off. Thank God Gabe was persistent.
Just the thought of the man, made Sam’s whole day a million times better. Gabriel Shurley. Weirdly enough, they ended up meeting online. It was on Tumblr actually. Tumblr is a website full of people who are easily insulted and entertained. He wouldn’t have even joined the website if it wasn’t for a friend of his, Jess, who’d suggested it considering he started going out less and less. “If you’re not gonna make friends in the real world, make them online.”
The idea was stupid, but he had nothing else to do. When you’re dying and pretty much everything you want to do is too difficult, you can either be depressed, or try to find something that can take up time and distract you from the inevitable.
Sam no longer remembered when they started talking, but then again, a lot of things had gotten blurry for him nowadays. Things just progressed, the two strangers got to know each other and got pretty close. Definitely more close than they should have been. Sam did not want to get close to anyone. He didn’t want to hurt them. He did almost anything he could to get them to hate him, so it would hurt less. It was selfish, sure, but it helped him cope. At the time, the only people he was really close to are Dean, Jess, and now Gabe.
He combed his hands through his somewhat thing hair, just to try and look a little more presentable. Even though they had both seen each other at a crazy time in the middle of the night, hair every which way, bags under their eyes, Sam liked to look good.
“Hey, Sammich!” The voice made Sam smile wider. He’s never been a fan of nicknames, but he couldn’t help but smile at anything that Gabriel said.
“Hey,” Sam said, running his hand through his hair again.
“So, Sam-a-lam. How’s life treating ya?”
“Pretty good,” he lied, that stupid smile not leaving his face. “And you?”
“Great, actually. My roommate just moved out so I have the whole apartment to myself!”
“Your roommate…” Sam thought for a few seconds. “Kevin, right?”
Gabriel nodded. “Yep. He’s flying back to Michigan to go to U of M. Even though he had a pretty nice setup here. Honestly, I just think the kid was homesick”
“Or maybe he got tired of hearing songs from Rent blasting through your apartment 24/7,” Sam joked.
“I will stand by that musical until the day I die, Sam Winchester. I still can’t believe you’ve never seen it.”
“And I still can’t believe you’ve never seen Silence of the Lambs but I don’t tell you to watch it every single time we talk.”
“He’s eating people, Sam. Eating people.” Sam laughed, which earned a small eye roll from Gabe. “Oh, and I have some amazing news!”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? What?”
“So, your brother called me and-”
“Dean talked to you?” Sam cut him off. “That’s not good news, Gabe.”
“Anyways,” he continued. “We were on the phone a few minutes ago planning something and he wanted me to be the one to tell you.”
That definitely got Sam’s attention. “Okay, Gabe. I’m listening.”
Gabriel picked up a brush and acted like it was a microphone “Samuel Winchester,” he began, making his voice sound like an announcer on a game show. “Pick a door. One, two, or three, and you get to keep the prize behind the door you pick.”
Sam scoffed. “Let me guess, all of them are the same prize?”
He nodded. “But it’s a damn good prize if I do say so myself.”
“Okay then. Door 2.”
“You have won an all-expense paid trip to The Big Apple for 2 weeks with yours truly.” The look on Sam’s face must’ve been pretty hilarious, because Gabriel just laughed.
“You’re joking,” he said after a few minutes. “You’re joking and you just wanted to see how I’d react.”
Gabe frowned, “Now why would I do that?”
“Because you’re you.”
He acted like he thought about it for a few seconds then shrugged. “Valid point, Winchester. But I’m serious.”
Sam scoffed. “Oh really? Prove it.”
“Fine. Give me two seconds.” Gabriel left his seat, probably to grab something. A few seconds later he came back, a paper in his hands. “You’ll be leaving the airport February 2nd on the Southwest plane that goes from Cali to Chicago, then from there to NYC, baby!”
Sam was quiet for a seconds, thinking over the date. “Wait… that’s tomorrow.”
Gabriel nodded happily. “Hell yeah it is!” He looked around the room from his seat. “I should probably clean up the place a little… I had this really big paint accident about a week ago. Well, at least the smell aired - Sam? You still there?” He snapped in front of the camera, trying to get his attention. Sam still looked shocked and he was having a hard time telling if it was his computer lagging out or if Sam just hadn’t moved.
Sam nodded, a huge smile growing on his face. “And you’re not joking?” he asked again.
“Nope. So you should get packing, shouldn’t you?”