Chapter Text
It was like clockwork.
Every year, on the same day it always came. And every year she never expected it. Her mind knew it was coming, but it was like her body had a mind of its own and was terrified every time.
She would try to stay awake, force herself too, but her body forced her to sleep. And as soon as she closed her eyes she was dragged into such a vivid memory that every emotion, every ounce of pain was felt all over again.
Regina Mills would be transported into her past almost a year after the death of, her former love, Daniel. She was a young girl who was in a forced, loveless marriage that caused her to be so lonely. That's how she ended up in the situation. She had found another who could help her with her loneliness, a maid who worked for the family at the castle. Her name was Meredith and with long dirty blond hair and blue eyes, Regina found her escape, she had been attracted to women before and the young maid wasn't the first she had been with, but there was something different about Meredith, something soothing. It was easy to be with her and it was much more preferable to trying to find common ground with her older husband, who barely looked at her besides at formal occasions. She found a warm place to lay her head at night; was that so wrong?
That's always how the nightmares started; her finally regaining some sort of happiness in an escape of another's warm embrace, then the nightmares always changed with her memories into something much darker. Her nightmare would play the memory back when her then husband found the two women kissing in Regina's chambers.
He was drunk and furious at what he saw. He threw the maid out and in a drunken rage grabbed Regina by the throat, threatening her, telling her that he told her he wouldn't tolerate her infidelity again. Telling her that he gave her a pass on the stable boy but this, he would say, was unacceptable it was wrong and he would not be embarrassed like this.
She felt his grip tighten and her present body would react the same way it did in the past. Regina reached for her neck, gripping his wrist and gasped for air. She felt nothing but fear and pain as her older husband used his drunken strength to toss her to the ground like a rag doll. He kept repeating himself; he wouldn't tolerate this, he wouldn’t be embarrassed like this, he couldn't let her wrongdoings go unpunished, what she did was sick and that she needed to face the consequences. He repeated himself over and over again as he hit her, pinning her back to the ground. Regina tried everything to scream, but she couldn't not with the constant onslaught of her vengeful husband.
Punches and kicks ravaged her torso and face, and she felt helpless.
Then her memories would take her further into darkness as her husband grabbed her by the throat once more and pushed her face down into the feather bed that was still made from the morning. She felt him behind her and she tried to fight her way free, but had her trapped. She clawed at the blankets beneath her, trying to reach for something; anything. The bed muffled her screams and then her mind went blank feeling all of the increasing pain that was being inflicted. She felt every movement and every burning , searing pain that accompanied them, and all that filled her ears was his repeated words in her head over and over and over again until she would wake.
Every year this happened and every year Regina managed to halt her screams in her throat, but not this year. A blood curtailing scream let loose from the brunette's mouth as she shot up in her bed. The dim light from the window casting a shimmering glow on her as the sweat dripped onto the comforter. She was shaking uncontrollably, her chest heaving and struggling to find some sort of oxygen. Her hand reached at her neck and rested there as if to subconsciously make sure it was free from his grasp.
She managed to get her bearings and heard the door to her bedroom fly open. Shit.
"Mom?! Mom, are you okay?" Henry said as he rushed into her room and started looking around to make sure nothing was in there.
"I-I heard you screaming and I thou-I thought that something happened. Are you okay?" he rambled.
Regina took a deep breath, pushed the nightmare back, and tried to give a small smile to her son, "Yes, Henry I'm fine. I promise. Just go back to bed dear." He looked at her, not completely believing her.
She scooted to the edge of the bed and put a hand on her son's cheek, "I'm fine, really I am." She said gently, brushing his cheek with the pad of her thumb, "Now go back to bed, you have school in the morning." He nodded his head, still not quite sure if he should believe her and walked back to his bedroom leaving the door cracked slightly. Once she heard her son's bedroom door shut she let out a long uneven breath.
She hated lying to him.
Regina sat there for several more moments trying not to focus on the curse she had been wearing for so many years. That's what he told her it was, a curse; one that would be an annual reminder for her not to test him again. She thought that with his death it would go away, but that was foolish, her late husband was many things but magical was not one of them. He needed someone to cast it for him, someone powerful, someone who probably had a benefit for this insanely cruel curse. But who?
All of these thoughts raced through Regina's head as she sat in the darkness of her bedroom. She couldn't take it anymore; she wasn't going to let this haunt her any longer, especially now that Henry found her like that. She couldn’t let that happen again, she never wanted her son to see her like that and she knew he would ask questions even now.
Finally, Regina decided that anymore sleep for the night was a bad idea and got up sliding into a pair of soft slippers, draping a black silk robe around her t-shirt and shorts, and pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. She was determined to find out how to break this curse and nothing was going to stop her even if that meant going back into the ways of the Evil Queen.
She made her way down the stairs, stopping and checking on her son along the way. She stopped in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Looking at the digital clock on the coffee machine she groaned at the time, 3:24 a.m..
"Fabulous, today is going to be just lovely" she mumbled sarcastically to herself.
Waiting for the coffee to brew she went to grab an apple from the bowl on the counter and noticed her hands were still shaking. She clasped her hands together and shook her head. This nightmare, this memory still had so much impact on her even though it had been so long. She had always pushed it down, not thought about it, and she had become very good at that; but now she was finally getting things back to normal. Yes, Robin was gone and she was devastated about that, but she and Henry had gotten things back and honestly he was the only man she wanted in her life at this point. She needed to do this for him she needed to face this for him.
No. She needed to do this for herself because it was about damn time this ended.