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The room was silent, candlelight keeping it lit as the night fell dark outside. It was warm, no sounds of wind against the windows, no breeze entering the room, and Erik took a moment to stare outside, seeing Krakoa shining down there beyond the castle walls, stopping his movements to admire it. It was a beautiful place, even at night, and Erik guessed the view would never stop amazing him.
Behind him, he could feel his king's — his lover's, his husband's — eyes on him, waiting for Erik to change into his night clothes and get under the covers with him for the night. It had been a week since they'd been wed, months since the king started courting him, and yet Erik still felt nervous every time he was in En Sabah Nur's presence, afraid of doing something wrong, or not being what the king wanted him to be.
That moment wasn't different, as he kept undressing himself, bare to the king's gaze at one point, wondering if he was pleasing enough to his husband's eyes. On their wedding night, En Sabah Nur seemed pleased with him, but Erik couldn't know if it was wishful thinking or not — he didn't talk, he didn't praise, he just took, and Erik just wondered.
He felt self-conscious, body tense as he quickly put his night clothes on, hiding himself from his husband's eyes, in an attempt to hide his form and maybe stay away from En Sabah Nur's judgement. As he did so, he heard movement behind himself, his husband's body pressing against his as soon as he finished dressing, hands over Erik's shoulders. Erik looked back and up, En Sabah Nur's eyes looking down at him.
"I can feel your uneasiness," he said, fingers holding Erik's chin with a gentleness Erik wasn't expecting, keeping Erik's eyes on him. "What's troubling your mind, my heart?"
Erik took a moment to reply, the endearment catching him by surprise. When Erik found his voice again, he muttered, "Nothing."
"Don't lie to me," the king demanded, although his voice remained soft. "There's something in your mind, and it's making you nervous. Tell me- Let me try to ease your mind…"
Erik stared up at his husband, wondering what to say and feeling embarrassment wash over him. How to explain his worries? How to say he feared his husband's opinions and feelings about him without sounding ungrateful of his husband's care for him?
Erik sighed, eyes moving away from En Sabah Nur's and looking down instead. The king didn't seem pleased with that, gently turning Erik around and raising Erik's face again, allowing him to see the king's brow furrowed in worry. Erik swallowed thickly, hands moving to touch his husband's bigger one, pulling it up to his lips to kiss his fingers. His husband seemed to wait, to let Erik gather his words, and he couldn't be more grateful for that.
"Do you desire me?" Erik finally asked, voice quiet as he felt shame for asking that question.
When En Sabah Nur didn't answer, Erik felt his heart breaking for a moment, until his husband's hand held his hand back, the touch comforting.
"Don't you already know the answer, my heart?" He asked, Erik's eyes staring at his husband's again.
"I don't," Erik confessed, throat tight with the fear that the answer would be negative. "The times you had me, you didn't say a word… And it may be selfish of me to want you to tell me you want me, that you like what you see- what you touch- when you have me, but I can't tell… A-And I don't know if I please you, if my body pleases you-"
Erik lowered his eyes again, cursing his mouth for saying so much. En Sabah Nur's fingers brushed gently against his cheek, not making Erik look up again this time, their hands still together as Erik waited for something- anything.
"I thought you knew," the king muttered, his voice gentle. "I thought you could tell how much I want you. Don't you know the beauty you hold, my love?"
Erik huffed out an incredulous laugh, shaking his head, eyes still away from his husband's.
"Beauty… No, that word was never used on me."
"Then I must use it," he said, pulling Erik's hands up to place a kiss against them, his lips soft over Erik's skin. "That's what troubles you, my heart? Not knowing if you please me?"
"Part of it," Erik nodded.
"And what's the other part?"
Erik hesitated, gaze carefully moving up to look at his husband's eyes again, his voice weak as he asked, "Do you love me?"
En Sabah Nur seemed shocked for a moment, hand tightening around Erik's before his grip became gentle again. The king sighed for a moment, looking saddened all of a sudden, and Erik feared he had said something wrong.
"Oh, my sweet thing… I'm such a fool," En Sabah Nur shook his head slightly, hand leaving Erik's to hold Erik's face with them, thumbs brushing against the skin of Erik's cheeks. "I made you doubt my devotion to you."
"It's- It's not your fault-"
"It is," the other man sighed, leaning down a little to place a kiss to Erik's forehead. "I thought you knew… I should've shown better, so you wouldn't doubt yourself, so you wouldn't be uneasy in my presence… I want you badly, my heart, and my love for you burns so bright it blinds me when I look at you."
Erik's breath seemed to be knocked away from his lungs as he felt fear leaving him, his husband's words easing something inside of him enough for tears to threaten to fill his eyes.
"Please," Erik whispered, hands holding his husband's wrists now, keeping his touch there. "Take me. Lay me on our bed and take me, and tell me you want me. Let me hear again..."
En Sabah Nur smiled down at him, hands leaving Erik's face to hold his waist, overpowering over Erik's body and guiding Erik back to their bed, laying him down gently and taking Erik's night clothes off to leave him bare, candlelight reflecting against his skin as his husband looked down at him, eyes roaming Erik's body with what Erik knew now was desire.
"The day we married," En Sabah Nur started, kneeling on the bed and running his hands across Erik's skin, his touch setting every nerve end on Erik's body on fire. "The day I had you for the first time, I couldn't believe my luck. To hold something like you… It felt like a blessing from the gods to me, my sweetness- to love something so bewitching as you."
Erik exhaled shakily, eyes closing as a pleasured sound left his lips when his husband's hand moved over his cock, open palm against Erik's crotch, moving back and forth enough to make Erik harden under his husband's caresses. When he opened his eyes again, En Sabah Nur was smiling down at him, and Erik felt himself flush.
"How could you think I didn't desire you, my sunlight, when I go through my day wishing for the night to come so I can have you here? When the sight of you laying by my side makes my heart ache at the thought of closing my eyes and losing even one second of you?"
Erik moaned a little louder, his husband's hand stroking him as the other one moved down between his legs, finger tracing his opening gently as his thumb caressed the patch of skin behind his balls. He felt his body warm all over, hands grabbing at the bedsheets under him as he fought to keep his eyes open, watching how his husband looked at him.
"I want you," Erik said, voice shaking more than he wished it did.
En Sabah Nur smiled again, leaning down to take Erik's lips into a kiss before pulling away again, taking his touch with him. Erik only watched as he retrieved a vial with oil from the table near the bed, slicking his fingers before he was touching Erik's hole again, spreading the oil there and pushing one finger inside. Erik clenched his teeth, head thrown back as he felt the initial burn, his husband's finger thick inside of him as it moved slowly, stretching him.
It was a necessary preparation if Erik wished to take his husband's cock without much pain, and now he could feel the care En Sabah Nur had as he coated his insides with the oil and as he waited patiently until Erik could handle a second finger inside of him, the feeling of them already fulfilling with how big his husband's hands were. By the time there were four fingers stretching him open, the squelching sounds of them moving in and out of Erik's hole filling the room together with Erik's quiet whimpers, he felt incredibly open, a few tears escaping his eyes already from the overwhelming feelings inside his head.
His husband was there, his hands gentle as they touched his body, like Erik was some precious thing he needed to care for. His husband wanted him, and he loved him, just like Erik wanted and loved him too.
He watched En Sabah Nur lean down again, kissing Erik's tears away with devotion behind each kiss, and Erik felt himself sob, arms moving to wrap around his husband's neck, wanting to keep him close.
"Let me love you," his husband whispered against his skin, Erik's head nodding almost immediately. "Let me consummate this, let me give you my heart while I make you mine again, like it's the first time, my sweetness. But this time, you'll know the treasure you are to me."
"Yes," Erik whispered, feeling his husband's lips kiss his jaw, his cheek, until he kissed another tear away. "Give me your heart and take mine."
En Sabah Nur's fingers moved away, Erik whimpering at the empty feeling until he watched his husband take the vial again, ridding himself of his clothes in a quick manner before slicking his cock with quick strokes, body shuddering at the contact. He was hard, throbbing with just the act of opening Erik up, and the view made his husband's want more real in Erik's mind.
Erik clenched his teeth again as he watched his husband leaning back, raising Erik's legs and spreading them before guiding his cock into Erik's hole, the stretch burning again as he tried to accommodate his husband inside of him. It was slow, En Sabah Nur moving his hips forward inch by inch, careful not to hurt Erik, but soon enough Erik felt his husband's hips flushed against his, cock sheated inside of him and making him feel as full as he had ever been.
En Sabah Nur leaned down again, one arm placed over Erik's head as he bent his torso just enough to stare into Erik's eyes, lips parted as his breathing picked up. Erik's hands moved up, lean fingers tracing the lines of his husband's face before pulling him down for a kiss, moaning against his lips.
"Your body takes me so beautifully, my heart," En Sabah Nur whispered, his free hand moving up to wipe the wetness from Erik's face. "And even when you cry you allure me… Are those tears of pleasure?"
"Yes," Erik confirmed, hearing the low approving sound that came from the king's throat.
En Sabah Nur moved, Erik's back arching at the drag of his cock pulling out only to move back inside of him, and he felt his thighs shaking as he came after only a few thrusts of his husband inside of him. It was quick, far too quick, but Erik's body was on fire.
He relaxed, eyes staring up at his husband with his vision blurry, unable to tell if it was the exhaustion of an orgasm or the tears that still left his eyes slowly, wetting the pillows under his head. His hands moved up again, touching his husband's skin and hearing his pleased sounds, small huffs of air and grunts leaving his lips as he moved in and out of Erik, the room filled by the wet sounds of their sex.
"You are lovely, my sunlight," En Sabah Nur whispered, his gaze lost already, free hand holding Erik's hip tightly, body caging Erik's under him. There was nowhere else Erik wanted to be. "Never doubt that again…"
"I won't," Erik was able to mutter under his breath, gasping and grabbing at En Sabah Nur's shoulders as almost painful pleasure coursed through his body.
He was hard again — he couldn't even tell if his cock had had time to soften with his husband's constant thrusts — legs wrapping around his husband's waist as best as he could, keeping him as close as possible, wanting to feel him there.
Erik came a second time with a pained moan, hands holding tightly to his husband's shoulders before he heard his husband's grunt, face twisted in pleasure as he reached his orgasm as well, filling Erik up with his seed until Erik felt it trickling down the curve of his arse and staining the bedsheets. When his husband pulled out, moving carefully to not hurt Erik, he shuddered as more come left his hole, a sigh leaving En Sabah Nur's lips as he looked at what Erik could only imagine was a giant mess on their bed.
The king laid on the part of the bed not sullied by their coupling, chest heaving now as he pulled Erik to lay on top of him, comforted by the warmth of his husband's skin and the beating of his heart under his ear — the heart that Erik now knew beated for him, a smile on his lips at the thought as he sniffled for a moment, wiping his face away of the remaining tear tracks on his face.
En Sabah Nur's hands held him closely, pulling the sheets over their bodies and placing a kiss to the top of Erik's head.
"Sleep now, my sweetness," he said in a gentle voice, sounding somehow as joyful as Erik felt. "I'll hold you while you do, if you allow me."
"Please," Erik nodded, his lips pressing a kiss to his husband's chest now, nuzzling at the soft skin before resting his head again, letting his heavy eyes fall closed. "Let me wake up with your arms around me."
"It'll be my pleasure."
As Erik fell asleep, lulled by the quiet beating of his husband's heart and breathing under his ear, Erik smiled, doubts faded now as his husband's hands held him close.