Chapter Text
Everything was as Engineer had left it. Tools within their designated spots, blueprints rolled up and stored in their cubbyholes, and an organized mess on the metal table. Soldier didn't bother to turn on the lights when he entered the workshop. The dim sunlight peeking through the windows was already too bright. Due to multiple cases of him accidently distracting Engineer by trying to press buttons and intentionally distracting Engineer by running hands and lips over his clothed body, Soldier was not allowed in the workshop. But Engineer wasn't inside. There was nothing holding him back from entering with a bottle clutched to the coat of his black suit.
Soldier had already roamed the house hand-in-hand with Jack Daniel’s, an old friend who had been waiting for him in the cabinet. Everywhere he looked, there were no tools of escape. They were all missing from Engineer’s usual hiding spots. All he had to aid him was Jack. Even before the first whispers of Jack, he could hear everything rattling with memories: the table, the bookshelf, the couch, the foundation of the house itself. The memories were a river, an endless hushed flow of a happier days long gone. Each ripple clunked painfully against his very being. Jack did all he could to help. The first thing Jack told him was, knock over the bookshelf and it will stop. Desperate, Soldier toppled the bookshelf over but he could still hear it. Hear him. So he flipped the table, then the dining room chairs, then anything he could find that could be pushed or thrown. All between the bitter taste of Jack’s advice. Though everything was either upon its face or broken, he still heard the song of a joyous past, roaring like a waterfall. Jack said, punch the walls and it will stop. With all his might, Soldier drove his fist through the wood of the nearby wall. It was as if the walls were a dam for more painfully wonderful memories leaked through the hole onto the floor at a ferocious speed. Again and again he punched the walls, desperate to end it all, only to flood the entire house. Air was hard to come by as he felt himself drowning in the past. Clutching onto Jack, he struggled to keep afloat. Another sip and Jack instructed, burn down the house and it will stop. “I want it to stop, not for everything to go away forever,” Soldier replied, his syllables blending together. Then get out of here.
That was all it took for Soldier to trudge out of the house, inside the workshop, and to a vinyl record player in the corner. On it's turntable rested the Johnny Cash album that Engineer had borrowed from him. Perhaps with Jack and Johnny together, he would find a healing distraction he craved for so long. After turning the dial to "on" and dropping the needle close to the first groove, Soldier leaned his back against the sturdy wall and slid down until he sat on the concrete floor. The familiar rocky guitar was something his soul snatch up in an instant, clutching tighter to those notes than he had in any previous listening. He pressed his lips against Jack’s and took in a portion more of his comfort. There was nothing but country music and the burn in his throat. Nothing else. At last. He took another shot from Jack and closed his eyes to allow his heart to absorb Johnny's raspy voice. Finally something was working.
As if discontent knew he floated idly in comfort, the events of that day flooded into his mind in a monstrous wave. Soldier was caught off guard and found himself toppling overboard into its chaos. He could see that morning so clearly. All those people in one building overflowing out into the halls. So many people he didn't recognize. Only a handful that he did. He took another shot to flee away from visual playing but he was caught in it its chilly waves. Oh, god, now he could hear them, loud and clear as if they were there within the workshop talking to him. “I’m sorry. You’re in my prayers” they said. “I’m terribly sorry.” “I know you’ll be alright in time. I’m sorry.” “I’m so sorry for-“ Soldier reached up to make Johnny sing as loud as he could. It was no use. The influences he wanted to hear were no match. They were only a whisper in the hurricane. No one could rescue Soldier. God, everything was so vivid. The apology in those eyes, the sorrow in their voices, all those gifts of sympathy he didn't want, and Engineer was...
Soldier tilted Jack high and allowed his brown contents to rush into his mouth and down his throat. No more. For the love of God, no more. His throat began to burn as if someone had placed a lit match inside his Adam's Apple but he didn't care. The only thing to make him tear away was his body’s need for air, causing him to cough the pricy liquid onto the floor. A few coughs later and his lungs found the air it sought. It was then he could hear Johnny sing:(A/N: listen along?)
Well, you ask me if I'll forget my baby
I guess I will, someday
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way
You ask me if I'll get along
I guess I will, someway
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way
God gave me that girl to lean on
then He put me on my own
Heaven help me be a man
and have the strength to stand alone
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way
You ask me if I'll miss her kisses
I guess I will, everyday
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way
You ask me if I'll find another
I don't know, I can't say
I don't like it but I guess things happen that way
Soldier joined in on the short chorus:
God gave me that man to lean on
then He put me on my own
Heaven help me be a man
and have the strength to stand alone
but his voice disappeared before he could finish. The only thing he could do was to stare at Jack in his midnight black label, watch the liquid within him twirl with each tilt of his hand, and be convinced that he needed more. Slowly, he partook another sip then rested the bridge of his nose against Jack's neck with his eyes clamped shut. "God gave me that man to lean and he put me on my own," he whispered. Quietly, he repeated it, over and over until his voice faded away along with the sparse light from the sun.
Johnny had stopped playing his rocky guitar. Soldier took another sip. Jack rushed out with evidence that Soldier did force himself to eat earlier that day. Whatever food he ate wasn’t much, just enough to shut Demoman up when he saw him that morning. Resting his lips back upon Jack, he intended to have another long kiss when something caught his eye. Somehow, for the first time, he noticed something illuminated by the gentle glow of the moonlight. It was a strange thing sitting on the metal table. Sure, Engineer made many things he found strange, but this was an interesting strange. He rose to his feet and swaggered. Why were his footsteps wobbly? After all, he was walking how he normally walked, one foot in front of the other, so it didn't make sense to him. Perhaps his feet were rebelling. That's the last thing he needed. Growling, he supervised as the left foot advanced then the right foot then the left foot until he bumped into the table.
With his hand firmly around the neck of the bottle, he slammed it on the table and looked at the thing. It was a khaki green metal box with built-in speakers and a security camera screwed on top. In the center of the box was an emerald button. Slowly, he looked to the left, then to the right. He punched the button. A ruby light blinked above the lenses that began to focus on his face. Soldier raised his eyebrows and watched the mechanical device with wide eyes. A "howdy" echoed from the stereo. It's voice was distinct with a warm Texan drawl. Only one man had that voice.
"Dell," Soldier exclaimed. “Oh my god! Dell, is it really you?”
"Well, guess you can call me Dell," the voice replied. "The feller that made me told me he was Dell. I’m Dell, too. Well, for the time being. He still hasn’t picked me a better name yet, far as I know."
"Where are you?"
"I'm here, plain as day, hoss!"
"Ha! You can't fool me like that, Dell!” Soldier jabbed his index finger into the stereo. “You're too fat to fix into that box! Not even I could, well, maybe I could fit in there if I tried." Placing his hand flat against the face of the box, Soldier judged how well he could fit.
"You go 'round callin' every contraption fat? Ain't nobody fittin' in here anyhow!" The camera tilted downward. "Woo-wee." A zoom of the lenses allowed the machine to see that the bottle was nearly half empty."You went and drank all that yourself?" As if it needed to ask. Between how Soldier's words blurred together and the red tint to his cheeks, it was evident that he was the only one to drink from that bottle.
"No I coughed about that much out," Soldier replied, using his hand to show how much of the bottle he thought he spat out earlier.
"That much? On the floor? Boy, that's alcohol abuse where I come from." Upon the table, Soldier collapsed in a heap of hysterical laughter, pounding down on the table with the bottle. "It wasn't that funny." About three hours ago or even a week ago, Soldier would have only chuckled at the small joke. Perhaps part of him appreciated humor more after tragedy; but mostly, he knew he was laughing mostly because that’s exactly what Engineer would say. That was how Engineer talked, how Engineer sounded, oh god, it was Engineer. His soul floated with the warm energy of life that accompanied the mist of this charitable miracle. God heard him and answered his prayer after all. Whatever burdens Soldier felt within the past few days were allowed to evaporate from his skin. Between the alcohol in his system, the joke and the relief that he knew his emotional trial was coming to an end, Soldier couldn’t be quiet. His thunderous laughter filled the room to the extent that the machine wished it didn't have a microphone built within the camera.
Soldier calmed himself down enough to ask, "where are you hiding, Dell? I know you're hiding and speaking through that thing! I knew you had to be hiding all along!"
"Told you, I'm here. Ain't hiding nowhere. If'n'ya mean Dell Dell, not me Dell, I don't know where he is now. Only saw him once when he booted me up. Said he was going to get someone and ain’t been back yet."
That answer was all it took for the man to look. First, Soldier peered under the table, then around it, the walked circles in the small building, bellowing out Engineer's name and carrying his bottle as he went. Finding himself at the table again, Soldier pointed at the camera. "Where is he," he asked in a stern tone.
"Didn't I tell you I don't got a clue? Ain't there a house nearby? How's about you go meander through there and see if you find him?" It watched as Soldier began to wobble towards the door then called out, "and how's about you leave that bottle right here?”
"Good idea," Soldier replied, heading back to the table. "I don't want Mr. Daniel’s to get lost. He's a good friend of mine!"
"I can see that." The lenses zoomed out to make sure the bottle was left behind on the table. "Don't worry your little head none about Mr. Daniel’s. I'll keep him company."
All of Soldier's strength was invested into opening the door. "I'll be back with my Dell Dell and we'll come in here and I'll prove he's too fat to fit in your tiny-ass box!" Instead of turning around to shut the door, he swaggered towards the house.
Though the house wobbled while he walked, he kept walking around, yelling, “come out, Dell Dell, I know you’re fat but it’s alright! I know you’re here so come out here Dell Dell!” As soon as he came to the bedroom, he stopped. Of course Engineer was hiding in the closet. He just knew it. When he opened the closet and there were only clothes, he knew he was in a secret part of the closet. He needed to get the jump on him. A simple plan was formed. “Well, I’m just going to lay on this bed,” he slurred loudly. “I’m going to close my eyes and not be awake when you come out.” Closing his eyes, his plan was set into action. Pretend to be asleep on the bed and leap upon Engineer when Engineer went out to grab beer. Perhaps yell at him before making love to him. A simply brilliant plan, if he did say so himself. So he closed his eyes, mumbling about how he was asleep, until his plan backfired. For the first time in nights, Soldier easily drifted into a dreamless slumber.