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“Jungwon,”
Even though he wasn’t facing Sunghoon, he could tell the older contemplated for a long while before calling out his name. He could almost see the way his thick brows would furrow and meet in the middle, lips pursed, just like he always does when lost in thought.
He stood still for a moment, hands hovering over the takeout boxes they left on the counter, as if to say Go on, hyung. I’m listening. He knows Sunghoon’s watching him.
Inhaling deeply, Sunghoon started with a whisper, “I think we need to talk.”
And it’s the way he spoke in a calm manner that made Jungwon feel helpless. He wanted a stronger reaction, some sort of defiance, from Sunghoon. For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to let things just run their course. He expected a fight, or at the very least an out-of-character outburst, one last time. But he couldn’t really blame Sunghoon for not actively stopping what was a long time coming. If he himself didn’t make an effort, who was he to demand so much from his hyung?
God, why are we so alike?
Jungwon wanted to laugh at the thought. It’s funny how what made them click at the beginning, what made them want to test the waters, cross the line, that most times seem like a sidewalk, other times a wide chasm, between friends-turned-roommates to roommates-turned-lovers, is what’s making him want to pull all his hair out out of frustration.
“Can’t it wait until after dinner, hyung?”
Jungwon tried. He made his way back to the couch, feeling silly carrying dumplings and chopsticks while his heart was beating erratically. Slow, careful steps. Anything to stretch the silence he thinks would be a thousand times better than the conversation they’re about to have. He looked up as he neared Sunghoon.
And he can see it. The patient smile Sunghoon always has when talking to him. Except this time, time has run out.
“We both know this talk is long overdue, Won.” Even as he said that, Sunghoon made space for Jungwon on the couch and moved to get his food. As if everything was fine and they were really just going to have dinner.
Jungwon silently thanks his hyung for playing along. In his head, he counts 1, 2, 3, over and over again in an attempt to settle his nerves like what he always did before competitions.
“What are we going to talk about, hyung?” Jungwon asked, even if he already knew. He knew as soon as Sunghoon called his name. But maybe, just maybe, he asked because he wanted to prove himself wrong.
“Us,” Sunghoon started hesitantly. He was fiddling with his takeout box, folding and unfolding the flaps. A nervous habit he has. And as cruel as it may sound, Jungwon is a little relieved that at least Sunghoon is nervous about this, no matter how calm he wanted to sound like. “And how there probably won’t be an “us” anymore.”
Jungwon wanted to snicker. Knew it. He knew this would happen, in fact he expected it. He was just waiting for Sunghoon to start the conversation because he was too much of a coward to do so. Too afraid of the change it would bring, of figuring out what would stay the same after the storm has passed, what big and small things he would have to say goodbye to. But just because he knew what was going to happen doesn’t mean he was prepared for the hurt. Nothing could ever soften the blow of finally coming to terms with the fact that he’s going to lose the love of his life.
Jungwon sighed, “Took you long enough, hyung.”
“Even with breaking up, you’re still such a leader,” Sunghoon chuckled, a little dejectedly, a lot relieved. “Thank you for pointing at all the signs I was too blind to notice.”
“I don’t think you were blind, hyung, there weren’t really any big warning signs. It’s not like we had huge fights or something, things just changed. Small things you could easily miss.”
“But you didn’t.”
1, 2, 3. Sometimes he regrets being such a keen observer because he saw the signs first.
“Yeah, I guess I didn’t. I think I wish I did. Never thought there would ever come a time I would hate being the first to know.”
— • —
There are days when Jungwon feels that all the stars and planets aligned just so he could have a great day. Times when he was running late for class but the professor’s car broke down and they couldn’t make it to class which resulted in a free period. Or when he forgot his wallet at their apartment but there happened to be exhibits on campus with food stalls offering free samples.
Today was not one of those days for Jungwon.
Entering their apartment, there was nothing he looked forward to more than washing up, jumping on his bed, and sleeping all his troubles away. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he got a 67 on his midterm paper, his coach just texted him to say that he might not be on the university’s lineup for this year’s intercollegiate games. He didn’t need the extra reminder that he hasn’t been performing at his best lately.
As he passed by the hallway to get water from the fridge, he saw a sticky note on top of the table.
Something about the written note pulled Jungwon’s lips into a small smile. It reminded him of all the notes Sunghoon used to randomly leave for him around the apartment. ‘You look prettier when you smile :)’ on their bathroom mirror and ‘Love, don’t forget your wallet and keys! <3’ by the coat rack near the front door. He had asked Sunghoon once why he left tiny notes and the older simply said, “To say ‘i love you’ without directly saying it,” while giving him the cheekiest smile. He laughed then, playing off the blush creeping up on his face. “You’re laughing right now but I know you secretly enjoy and keep them.”
It was a very silly thing but Jungwon loved it. Sunghoon from afar looks unapproachable, with his thick brows, pointed nose, small lips, and fair complexion. But for the people fortunate enough to be within reach, Sunghoon was the farthest thing from cold.
‘can u pick up milk from the grocery this afternoon? you didn’t tell me we already ran out. -sh’
The sign off bothered him for some reason and his smile unconsciously slipped.
After his quick trip to the grocery, Jungwon locked himself in his room. Walking over to his desk, he took the crumpled sticky note from his hoodie pocket and opened the drawer where he kept his most treasured belongings. Underneath his piggy bank was a stack of small, brightly colored notes with Sunghoon’s writings, worn out at the edges from all the times he reread them.
Jungwon’s nose itched from the dust that gathered.
This one doesn’t quite belong but I’ll take what I can get.
There was a heavy feeling that settled at the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t quite name. And the longer he thought about it, the more confused and upset he got. Shrugging it off and reducing it to just having a bad day at university, he went to sleep hoping to wake up to his hyung right beside him.
Jungwon woke up to the sound of socked feet shuffling around their carpeted room. He could tell that whoever was walking around was trying to make as little noise as possible, if the long pause between their steps was any indication. The footsteps got closer and closer until they stopped by the bed.
“Won,” came a whisper.
As he recognized the voice, Jungwon’s mind felt at ease once more. Sunghoon’s voice has that effect on him. Actually, everything about the older has that effect on him.
Still groggy from sleep and body too tired to even respond, all Jungwon managed was a small grunt of acknowledgement, with one eye slightly open.
“It’s fine, go back to sleep,” Sunghoon said, chuckling lightly. “I’ll join you soon.”
He heard Sunghoon place his things somewhere, get clothes from their closet, and head to the bathroom for a quick shower. The sound of running water almost lulled him to sleep once more but he forced himself to stay awake to wait for his hyung.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jungwon felt the other side of the bed dip lightly as the familiar scent of fresh laundry with a hint of something woody hit his nose. Sighing contentedly, he blindly reached out for Sunghoon, looking for his hand.
“Hey, you,” Sunghoon greeted fondly as he settled himself on their bed, fingers interlocking with Jungwon’s.
“Hyung,” Jungwon said as he scooted closer leaving no space between them. Sunghoon lifted Jungwon’s head and placed it on his right arm, his left hand still lightly clasped with Jungwon’s. “Have I ever told you you smelled nice?”
Carding his fingers through Jungwon’s hair, he answered, “I think you’ve mentioned it a couple of times, why?”
“Nothing. I just really like it. It might be my favorite scent.”
“Even more than the smell of your grandmother's freshly baked cookies?”
Jungwon could hear the playfulness in his voice. “Hey that’s not fair,” he pouted. He could feel more than hear Sunghoon laughing lightly under him. “But if you must know, then yes. More than my grandmother’s freshly baked cookies. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
The silence grew as the last of their chuckles faded. None of them spoke for a while, just content with being in each other's arms, breathing in sync.
Until Sunghoon spoke up. “Hey, did something happen?” he asked. “You haven't been this clingy lately.”
It was as if a needle popped the bubble of contentment Jungwon was peacefully revelling in as thoughts of the heavy feeling from that afternoon resurfaced in his mind, like boiling water bubbling under the kettle’s lid, trembling and threatening to spill, and he felt like he had to say something. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels restless and antsy, even in Sunghoon’s arms. It’s like he has to do something, say something. He missed his hyung.
“Hyung, I love you,” he whispers softly.
He caught his breath just as he felt Sunghoon tense up, the hand in his hair halting for a second, before relaxing and continuing to brush his hair.
“Let’s get some sleep,” Sunghoon started with a sigh. He fluffed their pillows and pulled the blanket over them before continuing, “Love you too, Won.”
Content with their position, listening to the other’s heartbeat as his personal lullaby, Jungwon let himself drift to sleep. As he plunged into unconsciousness, he felt Sunghoon tuck his head under his chin. Felt the hug tighten just a little bit, lips grazing the crown of his head. Not sure if he heard correctly or if he has started dreaming already, he thought he heard Sunghoon say I missed you.
When Jungwon woke up, he was alone in bed, the other side with no trace of warmth left. Sunghoon must’ve gotten up early.
Looking around their apartment for any hints as to where the older might be, memories from the previous night resurfaced in his mind. Jungwon recalled telling Sunghoon he loves him, and getting a sigh in return. Whether that was good or bad, he has yet to know.
I missed you.
He picked up his phone to dial Sunghoon’s number but when he wasn’t picking up after the second try, he called Sunoo instead.
“Hi Wonie! Did you need something?” came Sunoo’s voice from the other end of the line.
“Hyung,” Jungwon paused. He knows he’s going to sound so ridiculous, asking his friends for the whereabouts of his boyfriend. But he was clueless and he wanted to know so he pushed through. “Do you know where Sunghoon-hyung is?”
“Uh, isn’t he at the rink right now?” Sunoo said, confusion evident in his voice. “He has training every Saturday, right?”
And Jungwon has never felt so mortified in his life. Of course Sunghoon was at the rink. How it slipped his mind, he didn’t know.
“Is something wrong? Is he not there?” Sunoo asked, when the silence from Jungwon’s end stretched longer.
“Oh, nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just forgot it’s the weekend today.” He hung up the phone after mumbling his thanks.
He has a few hours to himself before Sunghoon comes home from training so he spent the afternoon tidying up their already-clean apartment, trying not to overthink the fact that he forgot something so huge and crucial in Sunghoon's routine. It was uncharacteristic of him and it didn't feel good.
When Sunghoon arrived, Jungwon was waiting for him on their couch. The sight startled the skater a little bit, but he offered a small greeting nonetheless before walking towards their room.
“How was training, hyung?” Jungwon asked, hands wringing the paws of his sweater. He wasn’t sure how he could utter his next sentence to feel as little shame and remorse as possible. “You didn’t tell me you had training today.”
He saw Sunghoon pause in his steps, squaring his back before gingerly turning around. With a tired smile, Sunghoon said, “It has always been every Saturday, Won. The schedule didn’t change.”
There was something about that smile that didn’t settle well with him, his heart sinking the more he looked at Sunghoon.
“I just, I don’t know, thought you didn’t need reminding,” Sunghoon continued, running his hands through his hair.
That made Jungwon freeze in his spot. The way Sunghoon worded that, like he was just expecting him to know. And the disappointment he heard, as clear as day, when Jungwon had to ask something so obvious. He thought back to when he last visited Sunghoon at the rink, his eyes welling up with tears when he realized it’s been a couple of months. He should’ve known, especially since he used to attend every single one of them. How could I forget?
And if this was heartbreaking news to him, he couldn't imagine how it must've felt like for Sunghoon.
Jungwon rested his head on the cool surface of the table he reserved for him and Sunoo at the coffee shop just outside their university. He couldn’t tell how long he has been like that but judging by the pool of water gathering on the table from the condensation on his cup, it must’ve been a while. He was about to turn his head and rest on his other cheek when he heard the scraping of the chair against the floor in front of him signalling Sunoo’s arrival.
“Okay spill,” Sunoo said, pulling his chair right beside Jungwon’s. “What’s gotten you into a sour mood lately?”
And Jungwon has never been the type of person to beat around the bush so he doesn’t hesitate in asking, “What do you think about me and Sunghoon-hyung?”
He could tell this wasn’t what Sunoo expected. He watched as Sunoo took a sip from his mint chocolate latte, carefully placing it back on the table. “Please be honest,” he added in a tiny voice, when it seemed like Sunoo was taking too long arranging the words in his head.
“You’re one of my favorite couples,” Sunoo calmly started, “as I have told the both of you over and over again.” At this, Jungwon couldn’t help the small smile that graced his face. Taking it as a sign to continue, Sunoo added, “You both just have this calming aura that matches each other well. You fit like two perfect puzzle pieces.”
Those words should have been comforting for Jungwon, being told he and Sunghoon were perfect for each other. Isn’t that what every couple aspired to be? And not to brag or anything, but Jungwon knows what Sunoo said was true to some extent. He and Sunghoon have known each other for years and they never had an awkward phase. Even in their first meeting bumping into each other at the university amphitheater and they found out they were headed to the same dormitory, everything just seemed to click into place. It was smooth-sailing from there. He’s aware that they match but somehow, that knowledge only seemed to add to the weight pressing on his chest.
“Why’d you ask? And please tell me the real reason,” Sunoo said smiling. “I know you like the back of my hand, Wonie. There’s something bothering you.”
And maybe the fact that Sunoo could easily tell something’s bothering him should’ve made it easier to open up, and it does, but Jungwon doesn’t know where to begin and that’s what frustrates him the most. He was so good at collecting his thoughts and voicing out his concerns even under pressure, one thing Sunghoon always admired about him. But because this time it’s about Sunghoon, Jungwon is unable to do so.
“Something’s changed.” He figured he could start with the facts. “Something’s changed between us and I don’t know how I didn’t notice sooner but something did.”
Reaching for Jungwon’s hand, Sunoo murmured, “Hey, hey, Wonie. Slow down. Tell me what happened.”
And he did. From the little things like the sticky notes to the big things like him not attending Sunghoon’s trainings. Jungwon knows couples get over their honeymoon phase and it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. They’ve had fights and misunderstandings before— they were perfect for each other but that didn’t mean they were a perfect couple. He knew better than to be upset over not receiving cute messages spontaneously anymore. But somehow the fights seem a lot better. Because fights come and go and they get over them pretty quickly. He can’t remember the last time they went on a date, had a movie night, or even shared a kiss. And this change in routine? It felt like a knife to the heart. Even more so because he failed to notice as it was happening.
“It’s just that, Hoon and I, we’ve always been so steady. We know each other so well and we’ve established who we are as a couple. As you said, we match well. Two perfect puzzle pieces.” Jungwon can sense the franticness in his voice. He turned to look at Sunoo. “Hyung, what do you do when that changes? Because lately I’ve come to realize it hasn’t been that way for a long while.”
“I don’t know, Wonie,” Sunoo sighed. “I don’t want to be that friend who tells you everything will be okay because I don’t know if it will be.” At the sight of Jungwon’s shoulders slumping, Sunoo rushed to add, “I’m just kind of surprised, I guess. Or not kind of. I’m so surprised.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know for a fact you and Sunghoonie-hyung have never had a major fight. All your disagreements, you managed to resolve immediately. Because both of you think things through. You’re both problem solvers. You both put each other first,” Sunoo explained, looking pointedly at Jungwon. “But this time, there’s no specific problem to be solved. I think that’s why you’re having a hard time.”
Jungwon wasn’t a crier. Sure, he liked to watch romance films and he would cry over the dramatic scenes and endings. But with things directly happening to him, he doesn’t cry. So it came as the biggest surprise to him to find himself struggling to fight back tears.
“Can I ask you something?” Sunoo said after a while. When Jungwon nodded, he continued, “Do you think you’ve fallen out of love?”
Jungwon whipped his head so fast his neck hurt a bit. “What?” he asked incredulously. He wanted to make sure he heard the question right.
“I said, do you think you’ve fallen out of love?” Sunoo repeated.
Jungwon thought the question was ridiculous but somehow he can’t outright say no. He thought if he heard the question a second time, he would shut it down immediately— that he would feel so offended that Sunoo could even ask such a thing. But he’s hesitating and Sunoo could see it. The pitiful smile that Sunoo gave him gave way to so many unwelcome realizations.
He finally settled with, “I don’t know, hyung.”
Later in the afternoon after he parted ways with Sunoo, Jungwon found himself in the amphitheater where he and Sunghoon first met. He figured the cool afternoon breeze would help clear his mind. But no matter how many times he tried to rearrange his thoughts, the sinking feeling never left his gut.
Have we fallen out of love?
It seemed like such an absurd idea because to him, love is his Sunghoon. And after years of feeling that way, it’s terrifying to entertain the idea of a future without him. Instead of dwelling on it any further, Jungwon decided to make it up to Sunghoon, see how things turn out, and hope for what’s best for the both of them.
When Jungwon arrived at the skating rink the next Saturday, a sense of familiarity enveloped him. It felt like stepping into someone else’s home and being welcomed. In a sense, that was true for Jungwon because this is home to Sunghoon.
Walking towards the bleachers, Jungwon craned his neck to look for Sunghoon on the rink. He may not have seen him skate in a long time, but he still remembers the pride that swells in his chest when watching the skater. Watching Sunghoon skate feels like a dream come true, in Jungwon’s opinion. There was just something so freeing, seeing Sunghoon skate like there’s no tomorrow. Like he was made for the ice. He once told the older that he can skate on ice better than he can walk on land. Looking at him skate, Jungwon can see how sure of himself he was. Every glide, every spin, every jump— there's not a single ounce of doubt and hesitation. It's truly a sight to behold and Jungwon thinks he’s lucky to witness it.
Jungwon kept watching Sunghoon until it was time for the rink to close for the day. He can see the skater walk towards the closed-off area reserved for them, moving to remove his skates and cool down his muscles. He can see him engage in playful banter with his skater friends, smile never leaving his face.
He walked towards them to greet Sunghoon. “Hyung,” Jungwon said, moving to give Sunghoon a bottle of water.
Sunghoon looked up from his stretching position, laughter dying on his lips when he saw who greeted him. “Hey, what are you,” he paused, a quizzical look on his face. “What are you doing here?”
And that shouldn't have hurt Jungwon, but it did. He saw how quickly the smile left Sunghoon’s face. Sure, the older was surprised, but it wasn’t what he would call a pleasant one. “Just came by to watch you again, hyung. Surprise?” Jungwon tried for a smile.
Sunghoon seemed to have gotten over his initial surprise as he shook his head slightly, nodding at Jungwon with a small smile. “I’ll just clean up then we can head home.”
Jungwon nodded okay then walked towards the exit.
Their trip home was uneventful, none of them initiating conversation. At that moment, it was enough for Jungwon that Sunghoon was beside him. He just quietly stared outside the bus, counting the seconds until they reached their apartment.
As soon as they got home, Jungwon set his stuff down by the kitchen counter. He picked up his phone to order dinner when he saw Sunghoon head for their bedroom.
“Hyung, aren’t you going to eat?”
“I’m so tired, I’ll probably just go to sleep,” Sunghoon answered without even looking back.
Jungwon didn’t want to eat dinner alone but he would rather do that than stay in their bedroom with Sunghoon. He can’t quite explain why, but there's a certain tension in the atmosphere he’s scared to address. It's not like he could walk up to Sunghoon and ask him where everything went wrong. It wasn’t a conversation they could have over takeouts. Having that talk would inevitably change things and they try to avoid that because if there’s one thing Jungwon could take away from his relationship with Sunghoon, it’s that they live on routine.
But Jungwon couldn't keep eating dinner until everything fixed itself, so he begrudgingly cleaned up and went to their bedroom. Inside, he saw Sunghoon in his pajamas lazily scrolling on his phone. He looked up just as Jungwon settled himself on the bed next to him.
Turning off his phone and putting it on their bedside table, he muttered softly, “Thanks for coming today, Jungwon.”
“It was nothing, hyung. I missed watching you skate,” Jungwon replied.
It looked like Sunghoon wanted to say something but he stopped himself. Pulling up the covers, he said, “Drop by again when you feel like it.” And before Jungwon could say anything back, he was met with a simple good night.
“Night, hyung,” he whispered before he turned off the lamp.
Lying in bed, he didn’t even realize he was silently crying until he felt the dampness of his pillow when he turned to stare at Sunghoon’s back. Jungwon loved Sunghoon. He really did. Loving him feels like breathing. Something he does without even having to think about how or why. It’s natural and is part of his everyday life. From when he opens his eyes in the morning, tilting his head upwards to gaze at the older’s sleeping face as he feels for his heartbeat underneath his palm, to the gentle forehead kiss he receives before he shuts his eyes and falls asleep.
He has loved Sunghoon for as long as he can remember. Like routine. As easy as breathing.
But somewhere along the way, in the quiet walls of their shared apartment, he has come to the realization that they've run out of room to breathe.
— • —
“When did you finally realize?” Jungwon asked.
He can almost see the gears turning in Sunghoon’s head. “I don’t know. I keep trying to pinpoint a specific moment but I’m coming up with a blank.”
He couldn’t tell whether he was relieved by the fact that there’s no specific moment that made Sunghoon pause to stop and think— to decide they were over. Or hurt that just like him, Sunghoon didn’t have a clue that they were falling apart. And for two observant people to miss that, Jungwon’s left asking just how much, or how little, did they pay attention to their relationship.
“When I visited you at the rink last month,” he suggested. “I think that’s when you knew.”
Confused, Sunghoon asked, “What do you mean?”
And Jungwon can’t believe he’s going to have to explain how exactly he knew it was time to break up. As if going through it wasn’t painful enough.
“Hyung, did you ever wonder why I love seeing you skate so much?” he asked. “You always used to say that you’re so indecisive and you’re always filled with doubts. But on ice? You couldn't be more sure of yourself. And I love seeing that. I love seeing you overcome whatever insecurities you may have.” He looked Sunghoon in the eyes as he uttered his next words. “I wanted to see that assurance once again. And I did. But then when you looked at me when I approached, you looked so unsure.”
The dam breaks and there are tears rolling down Jungwon’s face. He quickly wipes them away, turning away from Sunghoon. He doesn't need to make it any harder for any of them.
He continued, “I guess I just thought I was the one thing in life you could always be sure of— I wanted to be— but that day at the rink it became clear to me that I wasn’t.”
What hurt Jungwon more was the look of realization on Sunghoon's face.
“And you?” It was now Sunghoon’s turn to ask, “When did you first know?”
“That we were bound to break up? I didn’t,” admitted Jungwon. “But I talked to Sunoo-hyung and he asked me if we have fallen out of love and I didn’t know what to say.”
He can see Sunghoon lean back on their couch out of the corner of his eye. For a while, none of them spoke. The only noise that can be heard in their apartment was the sound of their forced dinner, their chopsticks scraping against paper boxes.
“I think,” Sunghoon spoke up when it became clear Jungwon wasn’t going to, “It’s okay to admit to ourselves now that we fell in love because it was easy. Because it was convenient.” He chanced a look at Jungwon and even though he wasn’t looking back, he knew he was listening. “We both got comfortable until we got complacent. It’s like, we’re always both here at the apartment but we aren’t really together.”
Jungwon hated how true everything Sunghoon said was. The quiet that they both loved turned into silence that grew too loud. The ease with which they handled everything turned into passiveness. There was a reason he never wanted to have this conversation. Because hearing everything out loud now makes everything all too real. The breakup wasn’t just a what if constantly plaguing Jungwon’s mind anymore— it’s real and it's happening.
“So what now?” Jungwon asked. Now that everything has been said, he doesn’t know what to do next. Mentally, he starts making a checklist of all the things that’s going to change. He thinks of the logistics of everything. We’re obviously not going to share an apartment anymore, who’s going to leave? If I call Sunoo-hyung I bet I could sleep over. He wonders if he could keep all the shirts and hoodies he stole from the older. How long until they remove their nicknames in their contact details. When they will tell their friends. Sunghoon’s still beside him but he’s already started counting down the days to when they will stop keeping in touch.
Sunghoon stood up before him, pulling him by the arms so that they were facing each other. “In a rush to get rid of me?” He smiled before enveloping Jungwon in a hug.
“You know it’s not like that,” Jungwon whispered back. He wrapped both of his arms around Sunghoon, face planted in the older’s chest. He can feel Sunghoon’s hand rubbing his back comfortingly and he could only squeeze him tighter in return. “I’m just trying to lighten up. Saving my tears for later when you can’t see.”
Sunghoon sighed before pulling apart. “I’m heading over to Jake’s.” The space between them growing with each second that passed.
Jungwon watched as Sunghoon walked towards their bedroom, coming out a few seconds later with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. Everything the older did was like strike after strike after strike. For Sunghoon to plan ahead and have his stuff packed and ready to go, he must’ve thought this through very thoroughly. With full conviction that they were breaking up. It looked like he was so sure Jungwon would just agree. Everything Sunghoon did hurt, and the worst part was he could tell none of it was intentional.
There was a moment before Sunghoon reached their doorway where their eyes met and they both just stood there. Sunghoon scanned Jungwon’s face one last time, maybe looking for a sign that it was okay to leave. Or silently asking if Jungwon would be alright. Jungwon nodded and Sunghoon gave a small, grateful smile.
“I’ll see you around, Won.”
Sunghoon moved towards the door, with Jungwon following behind. Maybe it was the pettiness in him that leaves him feeling restless. Sunghoon got the pleasure of walking away, and even though the decision was mutual, it hurt his pride a bit. He felt like he needed to have the final say.
“Hyung,” Jungwon called out.
Sunghoon looked back just as he turned the doorknob, one foot already out the door. Jungwon has never related to the saying Speak now, or forever hold your peace, until that moment. Maybe he was lying. It’s not that his pride wanted him to be the last to speak. Maybe he just has to say this one last time.
“Don’t forget your wallet and keys.”