Archive of Our Own

“Hello, are you sharing the table with someone?” Jeonghan tried his best in speaking English. He isn’t very much fluent in it but since he’s in a foreign country right now, he had to.

He’s been going around the city since this morning and he hasn’t eaten anything yet, afraid that this trip would cost tons of his savings, he decided he would only eat where he thinks are affordable. Luckily, he found a Starbucks while he enjoys walking on the streets. At least I found a familiar shop. He thought.

He couldn’t find a vacant space but fortunately, he found a table with only one man occupying. The man was wearing a black beret, black coat, black inner clothes, and even if his pants and shoes aren’t visible yet for Jeonghan, he already knew the man is wearing black colored of those. He looks harmless though, maybe he just loves black, Jeonghan thought before he approached him.

The man in black looked up to Jeonghan who’s now trying his best to smile at a stranger. “Pardon?” The stranger asked back.

Jeonghan blinked, “Oh uhm. I couldn’t find a vacant table and I would like to ask if you’re sharing yours with someone?” He explained with a smile. He has never smiled at strangers so this one is new for him but he’s alone in a foreign country, he had to do everything he can to survive.

“Oh no, sure, have a seat.” The stranger smiled back, so Jeonghan took the seat across from the man in black.

There’s a huge crowd everywhere, since it’s lunch time, people must have been on their breaks. Jeonghan just looked around the place as he took a bite from his french toast when his phone rang.

“Hello, Shua?” Jeonghan spoke in Korean as he talks to his bestfriend. He’s not sure if the man in front of him had heard him but he saw him blinked at him, probably shocked from a foreign language. “No, I don’t know. I hate you a lot.. Yeah, yeah. I’ll call you when I get to the hotel. Yes, bye.” He ended the call as he rolled his eyes.

He took a deep breath while he kept his phone on his bag and when he looked up he saw the stranger looking at him, so he awkwardly smiled.

“You’re Korean?” The man in black spoke louder this time and Jeonghan blinked at how deep his voice was.

“I- uhh. Yes, I am.” He said with an uncertain smile.

“I see. I am, too.”

Jeonghan breathed in relief when he heard it. He’s a stranger, yes, but at least there’s someone who he has similarity with, no matter what it is, “Oh, thank God! I am not so fluent in English so I hope you understand Korean.” He said in Korean quite enthusiastically.

The stranger laughed at him, “I do, don’t worry.”

“Are you travelling alone? Or you live here?” Jeonghan asked after taking a sip of his coffee. Coffee kinda tastes elegant here. Jeonghan thought.

The man in black leaned on his chair, “I don’t live here, but I’ve been coming here a lot.”

Jeonghan gasped, “Wow! How rich are you?” The other laughed, “Just a little.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at him and joked, “What a brag.”

This stranger laughed at him again and Jeonghan thought he’s cute. “What about you? You seem to be loaded too, since you’re here travelling.”

Jeonghan breathed, “Well, I was supposed to travel with a friend, but he got caught up with work and forced me to push through, and now here I am, a lonely single man in the middle of all these lovers. Oh wait, you do have a girlfriend or boyfriend here, don’t you? Is that why you come here often?”

“Oh. No. I live in Canada, and I- I don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend. But I kinda have someone, but we’re not romantically involved. It’s just- it’s complicated.” He smiled at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan squinted his eyes at him, “So, you’re not in a relationship?”

“Not that kind of relationship.”

“Okay. So, I guess rich people can be very weird too.”

The man in black laughed loudly at him, “You’re funny.” He smiled at him and Jeonghan swears his heart beats a little faster. What a charming man in black.

“Thanks, I try.” Jeonghan said before having a bite of his toast. He looked around and then tried to look at the man across him, “Hold on, if you come here often, then you’re probably familiar with the tourist spots here?” He asked and the man nodded at him. Jeonghan smiled and continued, “Well then, do you have any plans for the next few weeks?”

The stranger rested his arm on the table and stared at Jeonghan, “Why do you ask?”

Jeonghan did the same, except he leaned in a little more and smiled at him, “Tour me around?”

“You don’t even know my name yet, how sure are you that I’m not going to do you harm?”

Jeonghan sat up straight, “Hi, Mr. Man in Black. My name is Yoon Jeonghan, please take care of me.” He said as he tried to bow his head.

The said man in black grinned at him, “Man in black, huh. Alright. You won’t leave me alone even if I say no, right?”

“Nope.” Jeonghan said with a pop.

That being said, the other man extended his hand, “Alright, Jeonghan. I am Choi Seungcheol. Nice to meet you.”

Jeonghan, then, smiled widely at Seungcheol and took his hand. Oh damn, what a grip.”So, where do we start our tour, Mr. Choi?”

“Come on! Just call me Seungcheol, you don’t look that much younger than me.”

“How old are you, then? I’m 32.”

“See? We’re of the same age, Jeonghan.”

“No way! For real?”

Seungcheol nodded, “Do I look that old for you?”

Jeonghan shook his head, “Not really. You just seemed so much more matured than me.”

“Is that a compliment or are you saying I look old?”

Jeonghan squinted his eyes at him as he stared a little longer at Seungcheol’s face, “I mean, you look like you own a company, that kind of matured. See your outfit today? Very intimidating, no offense. That’s a compliment, by the way. You have this image of being well-educated, well-behaved person, like you’ve got your life figured out. But you look really good though, you’re handsome, I must admit.” He rambled.

Seungcheol laughed at him for the nth time and Jeonghan felt like blushing, okay, he sounds hot now. “Okay, Jeonghan. I get it, I’ll help you get to places you want to see.”

Jeonghan smiled at him sweetly, “So, where do we go now?”

“Hmmm.” Seungcheol hummed in thinking, “Since sun is about to set, would you like to head to Mouline Rouge? Their show starts at 9PM tonight, we have a plenty of time to travel there, what do you think?”

“Don’t we have to book a ticket for that?”

“I’ll do it, I’m almost a regular there.”

“No fucking way? God, so you really are rich rich?” Jeonghan replied emphasizing each words.

“Nope. Just friends with their managers.” Seungcheol winked.

“Oh no, no. You don’t get to wink at me, Sir. Let’s just go.”

Seungcheol laughed, “Alright, but you have to change your outfit before we go.”

“Why?”

“You’d have to wear black if you want to watch the show.”

“Damn. I have black fits in my luggage, but they’re at the hotel.” Jeonghan nodded his head, “Okay, would you like to come with me or you’d rather wait for me to come back here?”

Seungcheol smirked, “The question is do you want me in your hotel room?”

Jeonghan leaned closer to Seungcheol, “Why should I not want you in there, then?”

Seungcheol whistled lowly, “Okay. Let’s go.”

And off they go.

“You shouldn’t let a stranger you just met get inside your room, you know? Hell, you shouldn’t even ask a stranger to tour you around this city.” Seungcheol said as they walk back to Jeonghan’s hotel.

“I mean, do you have plans of murdering me or something?” Jeonghan answered back.

“No! Damn, what do you think of me?” Seunghceol exclaimed at him confusedly.

“Are you gonna rob me?”

“Of course not! I’m not a dangerous man!”

“Exactly! I’ve been staying here for three days and you’re the only Korean I met. Do you even know the struggle of having to speak in English all the time?” Jeonghan said when they reached the entrance of the hotel, smiling at the staff he got familiarized with.

“You’ve been here for three days? What were you doing?”

“Eating and sleeping and touring around this hotel. I was trying to get used to the weather, please, you can’t blame me.” Jeonghan said as they entered his room.

Seungcheol, then, sat at the edge of the bed while Jeonghan rummaged through his luggage looking for his black set of clothes. They continued to talk about their life which shocked Seungcheol, because he isn’t that friendly but somehow he felt comfortable with Jeonghan. Sometimes, getting to know a stranger helps you forget momentarily the thoughts that have been eating you.

“You’re married?” Jeonghan exclaimed as he peeked at the bathroom door. He went to change his clothes. “And you laughed and smiled and winked at me? That’s disgusting. I don’t like you right now, just so you know. I ain’t gonna be a home wrecker, you dimwit.”

Seungcheol chuckled, “Okay, hold on. Let’s clear this out. Yes, I am married, but like I told you, we’re not romantically involved. And you and I aren’t even doing anything, what do you mean home wrecker?”

“Are you kidding me? You said the managers or whoever owns Mouline Rouge knows who you are! Hold on, what if the hotel staffs know you as well? They saw you come in with me in my hotel room! They would think we’re fucking and you’re cheating!”

“I mean, we only got married for contract. So, technically, even if we do something no one else is allowed to call it cheating. Besides, she has a boyfriend now, too. She had plenty of them within those eight years.” Seungcheol tried explaining.

Jeonghan hurriedly got out of the bathroom, his top still unbuttoned and untidy, belt still unbuckled, hair disheveled, and stood in front of a very shocked Seungcheol. “Did you say eight years?”

Seungcheol nodded.

“Eight years? You’ve been married for eight years?”

“Uhh, yeah.”

“And you said you’re both not romantically involved?”

“Yup.”

Jeonghan stared at him for a few seconds which made Seungcheol uncomfortable. So, he stood up and tried buttoning Jeonghan’s top. Jeonghan whispered, “How did you not feel anything within those eight years? Did you two even try?”

Seungcheol smiled a little, “Yeah. We did try, for the first two? Or three years, we tried. We went on dates, too. We really tried. Even went to Amsterdam for our honeymoon, but it really was not working for the two of us. We weren’t arguing much but we both felt incomplete. We felt like we were doing something wrong. So we just stopped trying. We’re not friends, though. Just acquaintances who are married on paper.”

Seungcheol finished fixing Jeonghan’s top, “Go, fix yourself. We’ll leave in a few.” He said and lightly pat Jeonghan’s nose with his forefinger.

When Jeonghan went to the bathroom, Seungcheol sat down and sighed. He realized he never really had someone to talk to so it feels new to him. He doesn’t even know if he ever told anyone about his ‘marriage’ life. He doesn’t have a friend, actually. The only person he talks to most of the time is his secretary, or when he’s in a company meeting. He has a wife but they don’t live together. Their families know that. Even his grandfather who forced him to marry her knows they are only married on paper. Maybe this is why he never talked about his life to anyone, because even his family who knows he’s not happy, they still pushed him to this.

“Oh. My. God. This place is fantastic! I’ve never been to a place as extravagant as this.” Jeonghan said as he looked around the place.

Seungcheol chuckled who is sitting across from him, “Wait ‘til you see the show.”

Jeonghan leaned forward to whisper to Seungcheol, “You didn’t tell me how much the meals cost here, what if I don’t have enough.”

“Don’t worry, it’s on me.” Seungcheol smiled at him.

“No way! Oh my God, can we go somewhere affordable tomorrow so I can treat you too?”

Seungcheol nodded. “Sure.”

As the night got deeper, the foods on their table are almost finished, Jeonghan who’s most likely tipsy with the amount of champagne he drank, Seungcheol who’s starting to get a little light-headed, under the elegant dim lights, the most awaited show began. And Jeonghan has never been amazed in his entire life. Seungcheol also noticed that after he showed a photo of their ‘marriage’ and their agreement of ten-year contract, Jeonghan started to let loose.

Seungcheol would occasionally take a glimpse of Jeonghan as the other enjoyed the show, clapping along, gasping along, saying “Wow!” for the nth time. Seungcheol realized he’s been smiling a lot every time he looks at Jeonghan. It made him realize how much he’s missing out. To actually have someone to spend the night with, since he usually goes here by himself, it felt refreshing. Adding to that is the fact that he’s usually a guarded person, only talking about business and the likes, but never the deepest parts of his life. But here, with Jeonghan reacting, commenting, telling him what he thinks of, Seungcheol felt a sudden connection. A connection he never really had with anyone else. Not even his so-called wife. Not even his mother, nor his father, and most especially not his grandfather. The last time he ever let anyone know his feelings was his grandmother. When she passed away, Seungcheol locked up everything, not letting anyone in. And now, Jeonghan….. he’s just so easy to be comfortable with. He talks like they’ve met for a long time. He understands what Seungcheol’s family didn’t. He gives what his family can’t. It’s not even a day in, but Seungcheol is already telling him his hardships.

Maybe a couple of days or weeks with him would be fun. Seungcheol thought a he stared at Jeonghan who’s lightly swaying his body to the song that’s playing.

Jeonghan was too drunk to know what on earth is going on, the only thing he’s aware of is the man who’s walking him back to his hotel room. He knows that’s Seungcheol, without a doubt, since he never really had a chance to talk to anyone else but him. “‘m so drunk.” He slurred.

Seungcheol chuckled, “I can see that.” He said as he tightened his grip on Jeonghan’s waist as they got out of the elevator and walk to his room. “Where’s your card key?”

Jeonghan hummed in reply, “Mmm what?” He said as he leaned his head on the other’s neck.

“Your card key, Jeonghan. Come on, so you can sleep now.” Seungcheol tried his best to bring Jeonghan back to reality. “‘ere.”

Seungcheol waited for almost two minutes as he caught all the other’s weight until Jeonghan finally handed him his card key.

After closing the door, Seungcheol had enough so he carried Jeonghan in a bridestyle way causing the other to lean on his chest, “Smells so good.” He heard Jeonghan sniffed him tiredly.

When he was about to stand up after putting Jeonghan in bed, the other held his coat, “Stay.”

Seungcheol blinked, “I- I can’t.”

Jeonghan, being the impatient that he is grabbed Seungcheol’s arm causing the other to lean forward. Having their faces so close, Seungcheol realized how pretty Jeonghan actually is. He knew that he’s handsome, but seeing him this close is mesmerizing to him. He stared at every part of Jeonghan’s face, his eyelashes are quite long too, but not as long as his, but they fit perfectly on his face. And his skin looks so smooth, his nose is pointed he could even be a model at this rate, and his lips. Seungcheol stared at Jeonghan’s pink thin lips, he stared and stared until he noticed that the man he was staring at was actually looking straight back at him.

Jeonghan opened his eyes to see Seungcheol staring at his lips and he knew there’s something in those eyes. And he knew as well that there’s something he himself wanted to do.

Seungcheol blinked but didn’t move an inch. They were just looking at each others’ eyes trying to read what those stares are telling them.

Until Jeonghan moved his arm to lightly grab Seungcheol’s neck.

He blinked very slowly and sighed, “I’m drunk. And you’re married.”

“Yeah.” Seungcheol whispered, fixing his position to a more comfortable one as he’s still leaning on Jeonghan.

“You’re married, only by paper. But you’re still married. But I really wanna kiss you right now.” Jeonghan whispered trying his best to say those words properly.

Thank God ‘cause I’ve been wanting to touch those lips too. Seungcheol thought.

Jeonghan slowly pushed his head forward but Seungcheol beat him to it.

He held Jeonghan’s face and leaned his own until their lips touched.

Jeonghan’s eyes closed automatically. Seungcheol saw it, and there was something in that moment that made him closed his eyes too. Their lips touched for a little while and Seungcheol thought it will only end just like that but Jeonghan absentmindedly wrapped his arms around Seungcheol’s neck so they could kiss deeper. And deeper they did.

Their mouths opened to let each other in, they started moving in sync, from slow and gentle to hungry and sloppy, until both of them are fighting for dominance. Seungcheol was so lost in the moment  and how soft Jeonghan’s lips were that he wasn’t aware he’s been cupping Jeonghan’s face and his body’s leaning so much more than he did, he almost climbed up the bed, only if Jeonghan didn’t moan into their kiss. The moment he realized what the other did, he pulled away, “Fuck.” He whispered still eyes closed.

Jeonghan quietly giggled, “Yeah, fuck.”

“I- I should go.”

Jeonghan slowly opened his eyes to Seungcheol’s face hovering above him. He felt the other’s thumb gently stroked his cheeks, “You can stay.”

“I don’t know.”

Jeonghan saw him hesitate, “Okay. Please lock the door I don’t have the energy to stand up.”

Seungcheol smiled at him, “Yeah, I will. Good night, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan smiled back, “Thank you, Seungcheol. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

The other nodded. Jeonghan closed his eyes as he settled in a sleeping position he’ll get comfortable with. After a while, he fell asleep.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, found a pen and paper by the bedside table. He wrote, “Jeonghan, drink water when you wake up. I’ll meet you by the lobby tomorrow at 2pm.  –Seungcheol :)”

Then, he left.

“Hi. How long have you been waiting?” Jeonghan groaned as he got near Seungcheol who was sitting at the lobby wearing all black fit.

Seungcheol looked up to a Jeonghan in a sunglass, “Just a few minutes. Are you okay?” And he stood up.

“Yeah. Thanks for last night, by the way.” Jeonghan fixed his coat.

“Have you had lunch?” Seungcheol asked as they exit the hotel and wait for the taxi Seungcheol rented.

Jeonghan nodded, “Just a few bites, I don’t really feel like eating today and my head is pounding. Can we not drink for a week? Please don’t take me to any bar, I’m begging.”

Seungcheol chuckled as they hopped into the taxi, “Sure. Why did you even drink too much when you know your limit?”

Jeonghan faced him and removed his glasses to raise an eyebrow at Seungcheol, “Excuse me, Mister. But this is the first time I’ve been here and most probably will be the last, so forgive me if I wanted to maximize everything that I can.”

Seungcheol snickered, “Okay, alright. Don’t worry because the place that we’ll be going to is somewhere very relaxing.”

Jeonghan fixed himself, “Please, I would want to relax in my hotel bed but it would be such a waste of time. Where are we going anyway?”

“Claude Monet’s garden.”

“Oh. My. God.”

Seungcheol laughed at Jeonghan’s amused reaction. He even had to remove his glasses which made Seungcheol smile as he looked at the other’s bare face. He looks different but not too different, since he doesn’t have anything on his face, he looks very natural. If he found him pretty the night before, he’s even more stunned this time.

“Please take a picture of me here, please! The flowers are too pretty, I want to cry.” Jeonghan exclaimed as he searched for his Polaroid camera.

Seungcheol nodded his head, “Sure. Give me.”

“Here.” Jeonghan said as he gave his camera, “I only have 13 sheets left so please make sure you get the perfect angle, okay?”

Seungcheol took a shot and they both waited for the film to dry, “Seungcheol.” Jeonghan called for him.

“Yeah?” Seungcheol asked and let out a quiet gasp when he felt Jeonghan’s lips on his cheek.

“Thank you.” They shared a smile.

“Jesus Christ. Look at those greens!” Jeonghan shrieked with delight as he clings to Seungcheol’s arm.

Seungcheol chuckled, “Be careful.” Jeonghan almost tripped as they cross the bridge and he held Seungcheol’s arm tighter. “I just told you to be careful.”

“I didn’t see the rock, I’m sorry.”

The two walked along as Jeonghan wowed to everything that he sees, “Damn, I could really kiss you right now for bringing me here.”

“We’re in public, please behave.”

Jeonghan turned his head to face Seungcheol, “Oh, so if there’s no one else here you would let me kiss you?”

“Weren’t you the one who was worried because you might become a home wrecker, what happened to that?”

Jeonghan huffed, “Well, you kept on repeating you’re not married married, so why not?”

Seungcheol snickered, “You’re funny.”

“Fuck, my legs hurt.” Jeonghan cried out after they found a restaurant.

“Alright, let’s eat so we can go back.” Seungcheol said.

“I’m paying tonight, okay?” Jeonghan declared and Seungcheol just nodded with a chuckle.

“You know what.” Jeonghan started as he relaxed on his seat. “I must tell you that your laugh and chuckle sounds really hot.”

Seungcheol waved him off.

“No, I’m serious. I mean, why would I kiss you last night if I don’t find you hot? I only kiss hot people, for your information.”

“Are you really this forward?”

“Yep.” Jeonghan challenged him, “Can I ask a question?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Do you swing both ways?”

Seungcheol tilted his head, “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I kissed you back, didn’t I?”

“Well, there are those who kiss back even if they’re into opposite gender.”

“I think I’ve always been attracted to girls and boys, so yeah.”

“That’s cute. You’re cute.”Jeonghan said as he pointed at him.

“Wait, I want to ask a question too. Don’t you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

“Seungcheol.” Jeonghan stared at him, “I’m gay as fuck. Like, if I could, I would ask you to fuck me last night. And no, no boyfriend and definitely no girlfriend.”

Seungcheol exhaled and touched his wristwatch as he stared at Jeonghan.

“Oh, and I noticed you do that a lot. Like you touch or fix your wristwatch, I don’t know what’s the purpose but that’s hot.” Jeonghan said.

“You’re very observant.” Seungcheol smirked.

“Yep, I get that a lot.”

“Okay, I have another question.”

“Bring it on, Sir.”

“Don’t you have itinerary before you arrived here?” Seungcheol asked as he took a bite off his pizza.

Jeonghan roared in laughter, “I’m sorry. Does it seem that way?”

Seungcheol nodded. “I mean, you spent three days in your room and then when you met a stranger, you asked to be toured around.”

Jeonghan waved him off, “Hey! You’re not a stranger anymore. You’re a…” Jeonghan stopped to think of better words, “I would want to call you my friend with benefits but you haven’t fucked me yet so let’s settle with friends. You’re a friend.” Jeonghan smiled sweetly.

“Haven’t fucked you yet, huh?” Seungcheol smirked.

“Well, who knows if we want the same thing.” Jeonghan winked at him. “And to answer your question, I do have, but I already lost track of it since I slept in for three days, so when I saw you I just grabbed the chance and said ‘Fuck my plans.’”

“Quite a nonconformist, I see.”

“Not really, I just really wanted Paris to be memorable.”

Seungcheol drank from his juice, “And staying with me is memorable?”

Jeonghan nodded, “Yeah, I guess. You know what people say that at some time in your life you need the comfort of a stranger.”

“Yeah. I get it. Honestly, you’re a good company.”

“I am, right? I told you, you won’t regret it. You look really happy.”

“You, too. But I guess you’ve always been like that.”

Jeonghan hummed in approval, “My friends love me this way.”

“It’s weird that you don’t have a boyfriend, though.” Seungcheol said which made Jeonghan raise an eyebrow at him so he continued, “I mean, you’re very easy on the eyes. But I think you’re not into commitments, are you?”

“Not really, I don’t mind actually. It’s just….” Jeonghan stopped, “I guess I like playing around and the men that I met were the same. Look, I enjoy being single I can flirt with men, like you.”

Seungcheol laughed, “I wonder what you would do if I’m not officially married.”

Jeonghan leaned forward, “Trust me, I have a million ideas on my mind.”

They laughed together. They continued to talk as they eat and when they were on their way back to their hotel, Jeonghan asked Seungcheol if he wanted to have a drink in his room. No one knows why he did, but he did. And no one knows why Seungcheol agreed.

“You can borrow my shirt, I don’t mind. It’s weird when you look so godly while I’m on my pj’s.” Jeonghan offered one of his huge shirts to Seungcheol as he settled on a long couch in his room’s balcony.  “The bathro- Oh! What a nice view!” He exclaimed when Seungcheol deadass removed his coat right in front of Jeonghan.

Jeonghan, then, moved his entire body to fully face Seungcheol, “Remove the sweatshirt too, come on, I’m enjoying.” He clapped his hands like a kid who’s watching his favorite show.

Seungcheol took the challenge and he heard the other gasped.

“Damn, Choi Seungcheol.”

Seungcheol laughed when he removed his sweatshirt and Jeonghan murmured a quiet “What the fuck?” Seungcheol was about to grab the shirt but Jeonghan threw it away somewhere else. “Nope, let me enjoy the view.”

“Jeonghan.” He warned when he saw the other blatantly checking him out.

“What?” Jeonghan tenderly grabbed his arm muscle and tried squeezing it.

Seungcheol chuckled and brought his hand to grab Jeonghan’s chin to face him. The second their eyes met, something in the air changed. “My eyes are up here.”

“I know.”

“You’re looking at my lips though?”

“Maybe because I want to kiss you.”

This is why Seungcheol didn’t want to come here with him, he knows he wouldn’t resist.

So, they kissed. Hot and hard, like two hungry and horny adults. Jeonghan put away his glass of wine to grab Seungcheol’s neck. He stood up, not breaking their kiss, only to sit on Seungcheol’s lap. Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan’s face closer to even deepen their kiss. When Jeonghan felt something hard on his bottom, he moaned and pulled away. He opened his eyes and looked down on Seungcheol who was also breathing hard like him. “Fuck me.” He whispered but Seungcheol laughed at him.

“No.” Seungcheol replied and once again grabbed Jeonghan’s neck to share a very deep kiss.

“Fine.” Jeonghan whispered in between kisses. He wanted to be a little playful so he tried to grind on Suengcheol and for the first time, he heard Seungcheol moan. “Jeonghan.” He warned but the other didn’t listen and continued to slowly grind on him as they stare at each others’ eyes until Seungcheol held his hips in place and went to kiss Jeonghan’s lips again. When Jeonghan was about to suck on the other’s tongue, Seungcheol pulled away to kiss his jawline and down to his neck. “’Mmm, Cheol.” He murmured.

“Oh fuck.” Jeonghan, despite the large hands keeping him in place, tried to grind one more time but Seungcheol pulled away and stopped nibbling on his neck. “Why did you stop?” Jeonghan whined.

Seungcheol brought his finger to touch the necklace on Jeonghan’s neck. He traced the lace until he reached the pendant and pulled it to bring Jeonghan’s face closer, “Enough grinding on me, baby.”

Jeonghan’s eyes went wide, “Did you just….?? Did you just call me ‘baby’?”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes and lifted Jeonghan off his lap, “See? It was effective.”

“HA! You’ve got a boner, though. I still won.” Jeonghan stuck his tongue out at Seungcheol as they both stood up and fixed themselves. “Alright fine, no more grinding. But can we kiss again?”

“Jeonghan.” Seungcheol lost count on how many times he had warned the other but well, he can really be stubborn.

“What? You’re a good kisser, you should be glad I want to kiss you again and again. When was the last time you ever had someone to kiss?”

Seungcheol glared at him and Jeonghan smiled at him, “Just kidding, baby.” Then, he winked. “So, where are we going tomorrow?”

Seungcheol sipped from his glass, “Let me see. Do you want to go to the Palace of Versailles?” He took his phone out to check on the places he had been before.

Jeonghan nodded his head, “Yeah, sure!”

“Alright, let’s start there. It’s probably a few hours away from here. How about we book a room there? We could stay at Versailles for the rest of your trip, we’ll go to different tourist spots and then Eiffel Tower would be our last destination, what do you think?” Seungcheol looked up from his phone to check on Jeonghan’s reaction.

“Deal! Book just one room for the two of us, that’s right.”

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow at him so Jeonghan spoke again, “Book one room with two separate beds.” He rolled his eyes at Seungcheol. “Why are you so sensitive? It’s not like I’m gonna jump on you in the middle of the night.”

For the next few days, Seungcheol and Jeonghan traveled to Versailles and the cities around it. They visited the famous palaces. They walked around, took several photos from Jeonghan’s phone, and one film of polaroid per place. They spent their days talking, strolling, eating, playing around, and even kissing like they’re some kind of couple.

At one circumstance, a pastry restaurant owner thought they were married and gave them a free piece of chocolate cake that was part of their discount promotions. She said, “A free chocolate cake for a tourist couple who chose to enjoy their time at our place!” in which the two just snickered at.

“Do we look like couple?” Jeonghan asked the other.

“I don’t know but you just keep clinging on to me, maybe they thought we are.” Seungcheol said as he took a bite of the free cake.

Jeonghan waited until the other was done munching his food before he leaned forward and French kissed him to annoy him. It worked, he always annoys Seungcheol this way.

“Now tell me how wouldn’t they think we’re a couple?” Seungcheol whispered after a minute or two of them kissing which Jeonghan just laughed at.

Jeonghan loves doing those, catching him off guard, Seungcheol noticed. He would just deliberately kiss the other no matter where they are, in the train, in the taxi, in a restaurant, in those Palaces, in the private and public parks, everywhere! Plus, their shared room. God knows what happens when they’re inside their room. They do have separate beds but before Jeonghan climbs up his own bed, he would never miss a single chance of jumping on Seungcheol. Literally. Their make out sessions always escalates quickly. At one second, they are bickering over where to eat, and then the next second, Jeonghan is on Seungcheol’s lap kissing the shit out of him. The grinding incident didn’t stop either. For what it’s worth, it became worse (more pleasurable). Jeonghan would almost dry hump Seungcheol in the middle of the night, forgetting the movie that they are watching. Don’t even ask about the hickeys because Seungcheol gives the best hickeys, those were Jeonghan’s words.

But they never removed each others’ clothes off their body, which Seungcheol has been really thankful for because that would be his last straw.

Those kisses out of nowhere annoy the hell out of Seungcheol but he never rejected them. Sometimes, it would be him initiating the kiss when Jeonghan does something smart and sexy. Like that one time when they encountered a very rude homophobic woman who publicly embarrassed a younger lesbian couple who were just holding hands sitting beside her in the train.

With a raised eyebrow, Jeonghan held Seungcheol’s hand and pulled him to sit on the other side of the rude woman, “Excuse me, can you please remove your bag on the seat, my boyfriend and I are going to sit here.” Seungcheol saw the smiles that the other passengers gave them when Jeonghan continued, “Also, please fix your attitude, Ma’am. The couple that you’re trying so hard to embarrass has manners unlike you.” When Seungcheol looked at the young couple, they were mouthing a ‘Thank you’ to the both of them.

On that night, Jeonghan was pushed to the wall after they stepped into their room. Seungcheol kissed him so hard until they both needed to gasp for air. Not only that, but Jeonghan didn’t know Seungcheol was that strong until he was lifted off the ground all while they suck each others’ mouths. Then, Jeonghan was thrown on Seungcheol’s bed, “That was so hot of you, just so you know. I thought you said you’re not fluent in English?” Seungcheol said before hovering above Jeonghan. “I can when I want to.” Jeonghan replied. He kissed Jeonghan gently and slowly after pulling Jeonghan’s necklace close to him.

Jeonghan noticed how Seungcheol would usually trace his fingers through his necklace and then pulling his pendant so his face could come closer before he kisses him, and Jeonghan will never deny that it was one of the hottest things the other does. All the other men he had made out with never really bothered on anything else around them, but Seungcheol is different. He touches his necklace, rubs his cheeks, grabs his neck just the way Jeonghan likes, kisses his eyes, nose, even his earlobes, down to his jawline and neck, even his collarbones, sometimes, Seungcheol would even massage his jawline as they kiss which makes Jeonghan’s knees weak. Those little gentle gestures drive him insane, because at some point he felt their connection deeper than his past relationships.

Jeonghan would still occasionally ask Seungcheol to fuck him but the other just wouldn’t budge. He understands it though, since Seungcheol is ‘married on paper’, Jeonghan acknowledges the rejections. He couldn’t remember how many times he had asked the other that it just became a casual joke on both of them. Most times, Jeonghan would just “Fuck me!” out of nowhere to tease Seungcheol. The latter, though would threaten him that he’ll get no kisses ever again, in which Jeonghan knows will always be a lie.

But Seungcheol will never deny how aroused he would be whenever Jeonghan kisses him, he just makes sure no clothes would be taken off, and then he believes he would be fine. Until one night, the thing that Seungcheol feared the most happened.

Jeonghan kind of grew a habit of not closing the bathroom doors when he takes a shower because he’s a big talker so even in the bathroom, they would continue chatting about things. So Seungcheol makes sure he will never walk near the bathroom. Everything would be under control just as long as he wouldn’t get near the bathroom as Jeonghan showers. But then, they were talking about Seungcheol’s past relationships when he was younger. And Jeonghan was astounded when he learned that Seungcheol was cheated on for three times so right after his bath, he forgot to wear proper clothes and just pulled a robe and came out of the bathroom.

Seungcheol, of course was startled when Jeonghan came out with nothing but a robe, but he isn’t sure if Jeonghan has underwear, his long blonde hair still wet. “Jeonghan, go back and wear your clothes.” He tried to tell but Jeonghan just kept on walking until he was in front of Seungcheol.

“You have been cheated on for three times already?” Jeonghan asked to which Seungcheol nodded, “Yeah. Please go back to the ba-“ He was cut off when Jeonghan straddled him. “Are you dumb or something? Why are your tastes on partners so bad?”

Seungcheol blinked, he didn’t know how to answer because firstly, he used to be really dumb when it comes to relationships he admitted, and secondly, because Jeonghan who’s sitting on his lap is naked underneath the robe. That thought alone short circuits his brain. “Uhm, yeah. I think I was dumb. But I wasn’t much into them anyway, so it’s fine.”

Jeonghan brought his face closer to Seungcheol, “That’s not fine. When you enter a relationship, you are supposed to take care and respect each other. Is this why you just agreed with the ‘marriage on paper’?”

Seungcheol nodded, “Yeah, kind of. I mean, love probably isn’t for me. Failed relationships in the past and now bounded by contract. I think somehow I am meant to live alone.”

Jeonghan kissed him. He grabbed Seungcheol’s neck and kissed him like he wanted to heal all those wounds and scars that might have hurt Seungcheol. The other, like what he usually does, kissed him back. With much more desire. “You aren’t.” Jeonghan said pulling away and kissed Seungcheol’s nose and cheeks. “You aren’t meant to live alone.” He stared at him before Jeonghan went and sucked Seungcheol’s jaws, and his neck. And while he busies himself with making him feel the same way the other does to him, Seungcheol groaned in pleasure and throws his head back. “Jeonghan.” He whispered.

Jeonghan pulled away and leaned into Seungcheol’s ear, “Kiss me in any way you like.”

And that was his last straw. So, after Seungcheol pulled on Jeonghan’s necklace, he ended up kissing, licking, and sucking Jeonghan’s neck, collar bones, down to his nipple. He pinched, flicked, kissed, sucked and played with them, alternatively. While Jeonghan just sat there, on his lap, throwing his head back in extreme pleasure. He moaned, whimpered, and whispered several “Fuck” and “Seungcheol” loudly. He grabbed Seungcheol’s neck, shoulder, pulled on the other’s hair. Jeonghan thought that was the most erotic and intimate encounter he had with a man. And they weren’t even fucking yet.

That’s the thing about Seungcheol, he just drives Jeonghan crazy. Jeonghan thought a lot about how much Seungcheol is just so good in all aspects, whether sexually or just generally. Sometimes, he would ask him, “Like, how the hell do they not fall in love with you, you’re so good at anything.” But Seungcheol would just tell him, “I told you, love isn’t for me.” to which Jeonghan would kiss him right away. He didn’t want Seungcheol to feel that way so when one time they were visiting Louvre Museum and they talked about birthdays, Jeonghan was once again surprised at a revelation.

“You’ve never celebrated your birthday?” Jeonghan suddenly stopped checking on the art works and beauty inside the museum to face Seungcheol. Jeonghan was telling a story of when him and his best friend celebrated his birthday in a museum.

“Yeah. I mean, I usually eat on my own. Well, my parents and the wife greet me though.”

“But that’s it? No cakes or seaweed soup?” Jeonghan asked.

“Nope.”

“Oh God, we are going to have dinner at a korean restaurant. We are going to pretend that today is your birthday. August eighth, right?”

“Yes, but it’s fi-“

“Nope. I won’t take no for an answer, Seungcheol. We are definitely going to celebrate your birthday. Leave it to me.”

In the end, Seungcheol just agreed.

They had dinner in a Korean restaurant somewhere in the city, Jeonghan even surprised him with a cake and candle to blow. Jeonghan paid for everything and Seungcheol can’t even remember when the last time he ever blew a candle for his birthday was. This was all thanks to Jeonghan. At some point, he knew Jeonghan saw his eyes got wet but didn’t tease him about it, which he was grateful for because he didn’t want it to look like a big deal. But deep inside him, he was overwhelmed and happy. He couldn’t explain it, this would probably be his best birthday for all of his life.

When they arrived at their hotel room, Seungcheol wanted to grab him for a kiss but Jeonghan turned them around so Seungcheol was now pushed to the wall. Jeonghan smirked at him before leaning into his ears, “I have a gift for you but I hope you stop restricting yourself, I know you want this too.” And placed a wet kiss on his neck.

Seungcheol, then, held Jeonghan’s chin gently to pull him into a kiss, “You sure you’re ready?”

“I’ve been ready since the first kiss.” Then, they messily and quickly removed their coats and scarves.

Jeonghan immediately wrapped his arms around Seungcheol’s neck and the latter grabbed his hips as their lips touched once more.

They walked to a desk attached to the wall with a mirror above it as Jeonghan’s hands went to the hem of Seungcheol’s long sleeves to take it off of him. Jeonghan pulled away from the kiss to admire Seungcheol’s torso, “Fuck.” He said as he traced his fingers along the moles all over the other’s pale skin while Seungcheol stared him down. Seungcheol wasn’t bulky but his body is more than enough to drive Jeonghan insane. So, when Seungcheol was about to kiss him, yet again, Jeonghan was quick to duck his head down.

Seungcheol stood there with his ass leaning on the desk and was about to question the other but when he felt Jeonghan’s lips on his chest, he already knew what’s about to happen. He grunted every time Jeonghan would tease his skin with his tongue all while trying to stare right at him. The image itself drives him to the core and all he could do was moan and whisper Jeonghan’s name in pleasure.

After a while, Jeonghan’s hands went even lower and cupped him through shielded clothes. It was very intimate, he couldn’t remember when the last time someone has given him a head was. Seungcheol was too into it that when he threw his head back and moaned, Jeonghan giggled flirtily and pulled Seungcheol’s face down. When he did, Jeonghan kissed him and his hands did wonders on Seungcheol’s belt and pants. Not even a minute in and Jeonghan’s hands had been pulling down Seungcheol’s lower garments.

Jeonghan pulled away and kneeled right in front of Seungcheol. He whispered, “Happy Birthday, Seungcheol.” as he stared at him and held his huge cock with one hand. Up. Down. Up. Down.

“Fuck, Han.” Seungcheol gripped the edges of the desk that he was leaning to when Jeonghan’s tongue touched his slit. He teased it in a very sensual way that Seungcheol wanted to bring him up and fuck him right there.

“Grab my hair.” Jeonghan guided Seungcheol’s one hand to grasp his hair as he gives him head. He teased, licked, and sucked everything in Seungcheol’s member. Moans and grunts were heard inside their hotel room, as well as the sexual sounds that came out from Jeonghan’s mouth.

Seungcheol was about to lose his mind when he looked down and saw his member went in and out of Jeonghan’s pretty mouth. He thought this was the best view he has ever seen not until Jeonghan’s mouth took him all in, feeling his cock touching the other’s throat. It kept on and on. Then, he drew out a long sigh, “I- I’m close.” When Jeonghan heard it, that’s when he pulled away and used his two hands, one to play with his balls, and another to keep pumping as he looked up to Seungcheol. After a few seconds, Seungcheol went stiff, closed his eyes, threw his head back, and rope of white liquid hit Jeonghan’s face as he continued to play with Seungcheol until there was nothing more to come out.

Seungcheol breathed heavily and opened his eyes. He looked down at Jeonghan who was still kneeling. He took a piece of tissue to wipe the other’s face. They both took deep breaths, while no one uttered a word. After Seungcheol cleaned his face, he tapped Jeonghan’s nose, “Stand up.”

And Jeonghan did. Before he could even stand properly, Seungcheol pulled him into a sloppy kiss and turned them around. Seungcheol’s hands eagerly removed every single bit of Jeonghan’s clothing, except the necklace. Seungcheol has a thing with Jeonghan’s necklace. He thought even more perfect with the necklace. His lips touched the other’s skin that’s accessible to him. He sucked even harder on Jeonghan’s neck, leaving several marks, before he went lower and licked both of his buds. “Cheol, please.”

Seungcheol pulled away. “Turn around. Look at the mirror.”

With hooded eyes, Jeonghan looked at himself in the mirror as Seungcheol ran across the room to look for a condom and lube. There, he saw how sensual he looked, cheeks tinted pink, his lips wet and red, his neck full of bites that were about to leave marks.

As he was busy checking himself through the mirror, he felt Seungcheol came up behind him and few seconds later, he felt a finger teasing his entrance. He exhaled as he sensed pleasure is about to take over him. He looked down trying to stop himself from being loud.

Seungcheol’s right hand held Jeonghan who was standing in front of him while his other hand inserted a finger and Jeonghan’s knees weakened. Seungcheol noticed Jeonghan weren’t looking at the mirror, so he stopped what he was doing and whispered, “Baby, look straight at your reflection.”

Only when Jeonghan followed his words, did Seungcheol continued on slowly pumping his finger. Jeonghan, on the other hand, was whimpering and biting his lower lip to prevent himself from moaning loudly.

“Don’t hold back. Moan for me.” Seungcheol ordered him and he gasped when he felt another digit was added.

“Ah Cheol-“

Jeonghan’s gripped harder on the desk that’s been keeping him upright. “One more, baby.” Seungcheol whispered into his ear before inserting three of his fingers which made Jeonghan leaned back into Seungcheol’s shoulder, “Fuck, Cheol.”

He felt so fucked already with just three thick fingers. “Seungcheol, please.” He begged.

Seungcheol chuckled lowly when he heard Jeonghan whined after removing his fingers, “You always surprise me. One minute, you boss me around with a dick on your mouth, and then the next, you’re shy when I started fingering you, and now, whining because you asked me to pull my fingers out.”

Jeonghan glared at him through the mirror, “Just- Just get inside me now, please.”

Seungcheol kissed the side of Jeonghan’s head before opening the sachet of condom with his mouth.

Jeonghan leaned forward into the desk as Seungcheol positioned his cock at his entrance.

Jeonghan felt like he’s being cut very open when Seungcheol pushed in, “Too thick.” He moaned and closed his eyes.

“Open your eyes.” Seungcheol warned him again. “Tell me if I can move.”

Jeonghan adjusted for a few seconds since it has been a while since he got laid. And adding the fact how huge Seungcheol’s cock is, he’s sure as hell this is going to be the most spectacular sex he ever had. Seungcheol lets him adjust while kissing his neck, the back of his neck, his shoulder until Jeonghan gave him permission, “You can move now.”

And move, Seungcheol did.

He slowly pulled out until almost his head was the only part inside, he pushed in again and Jeonghan moaned very loudly.

Seungcheol pumped into him slowly and gently, feeling every inch of his cock being swallowed by Jeonghan’s ass, “You’re too tight, babe. Fuck!” He grunted in a low voice which made Jeonghan whimper. Series of “Fuck!”, “Jeonghan”, “Cheol” were heard inside their room. Hopefully, it’s a soundproof one because if not, their poor neighbors had to suffer.

“So good, baby.” Seungcheol leaned forward and whispered into his ear before he stood straight and gripped Jeonghan’s hips.

“So.” He slowly pushed in.

“Fucking.” He slowly pushed out.

“Good.” He pushed in quickly and hitting Jeonghan’s prostate in the process.

“Ch-Cheol. I’m…. I’m close, babe.” Jeonghan tried saying and with hooded eyes, they stared at each other through the mirror.

Seungcheol bit his lower lip and leaned forward until his chest felt Jeonghan’s back, not breaking their gaze and with continuous pumping. “So beautiful.” He whispered. Seungcheol’s hand tilted Jeonghan’s head to face him so they could kiss.

Their tongues danced with each other, but as much as Jeonghan wants to kiss him more, he felt his orgasm reaching its point. “I’m close.”

Seungcheol didn’t stop pushing in and out of him until Jeonghan exploded on the desk. Seungcheol following seconds after. Seungcheol removed his hands from Jeonghan and gripped on the desk, as well.

They had their eyes closed and Seungcheol pressed his face into Jeonghan’s neck. They both breathed heavily as they slowly recover from their high.

Jeonghan whispered, “That was hot.”

“I know.”

Seungcheol took a deep breath and pulled out but not pulling away from Jeonghan’s neck.

Jeonghan opened his eyes and seeing Seungcheol resting on his neck brought butterflies into his stomach, “Happy birthday.”

Seungcheol looked up into the mirror and laughed at him, “Thank you for the gift.”

Seungcheol helped him clean up right after that. That night, Jeonghan slept in Seungcheol’s arms.

Best birthday, indeed.

Another thing that makes Paris memorable for Jeonghan was, it didn’t just happened once. He thought there would be awkward moments after the first night, but nope. Because even on the next morning, Jeonghan was awakened when he felt his pyjamas being pulled down. Doing it under the blanket, I see. Jeonghan thought.

He didn’t stop him though. He just let himself be taken.

It didn’t just end there. It happened a lot of times, in a lot of places, with a lot of different positions. Sometimes, in the bathroom, on top of the sink, in the shower, on the bed, on the floor, by the balcony (Fortunately, there’s a wall that separates them from their neighbors. For the sounds, though, they probably heard them but didn’t make it a big deal.), by the corners of the room, everywhere! No chosen time, too. Few nights, they went at it until 6 in the morning, making them asleep until the afternoon. So, they hurry to where they were supposed to visit. Sometimes, it was Seungcheol who does the first move. Most times, it was Jeonghan.

Their nights really ended with steamy hot sex but their days were spent in different cities around Versailles like Sainte Chapelle. They also went to visit the Seine River and circling tourist spots like The Conciergerie that blew Jeonghan’s mind with its royally medieval structure and rich history. He couldn’t count how many times he wowed all throughout their tour, and Seungcheol witnessed all those in different places. They managed to see thirteen different attractions for the whole time they were together.

With the overwhelming happiness that the two have felt, they almost didn’t remember they had to leave the country and be on their hometowns. Jeonghan even forgot to call his neither parents nor Joshua, his best friend. He was that contented.

It wasn’t any different with Seungcheol, too. Not that he has people to update. But he has never felt this free in a very long time, and he enjoys every single second with Jeonghan. He wasn’t sure how he would be when he gets back to Canada. He also thought of Jeonghan since he would be leaving the country first.

Luckily, they remembered that they just have two days left before Seungcheol’s flight. Since, they realized that only Eiffel Tower was the last destination they haven’t marked.

When they went there, it was a bittersweet feeling for Jeonghan. Seungcheol, too. They just didn’t inform each other. They didn’t want to ruin the beauty and the ambiance the tower gives. The place was crowded, as expected, but it was a really nice experience nevertheless. Jeonghan enjoyed it so much he couldn’t help but cry. “Did you know I used to be one of those kids who dreams of coming here with my lover?” Jeonghan said as he looked up at the breathtaking tower from below.

“Oh yeah?” Seungcheol replied.

Jeonghan looked at him and nodded, “Yeah. I was a hopeless romantic, just so you know. I pictured it a lot of times.”

“You pictured you and your lover here?”

Jeonghan hummed. “Yeah. I wanted a photo with my lover here, and we’ll be kissing and hugging.” He smiled at the thought.

“Wanna do it with me?” Seungcheol suggested and Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean, you can always bring your future lover someday. But since, you’re now here and I’m the person with you, so why not?” (Something inside Seungcheol was breaking with his own words, he doesn’t know what it is. But it made him sad.)

Jeonghan looked around and checked any other tourists who weren’t busy. Seungcheol saw him walked to a stranger, maybe asked to take a picture of them. When he came back, the stranger was already bringing his Polaroid camera. Jeonghan whispered to Seungcheol, “Come on, let’s use my last film.” He smiled.

Seungcheol positioned beside him and wrapped an arm around Jeonghan. Meanwhile, Jeonghan leaned his head closer to Seungcheol and managed to wrap an arm on his waist too. When the stranger was counting down, he heard Seungcheol whisper for him, “Han.” When he looked at him, Seungcheol leaned closer and placed his lips on Jeonghan’s.

After it dawned on Jeonghan, he heard the stranger clapped his hands and gave him back his camera, “That’s sweet! I caught it at the right time!”

There it is. A photo of him and Seungcheol kissing under the Eiffel Tower. The image was so perfect that Jeonghan wanted to brag it around. He’s sure as hell going to brag this to Joshua when he comes back to Korea.

When they arrived back to their room, Jeonghan wasted no time and buried himself on Seungcheol’s cock. It was their last night together and they definitely used the time wisely.

Jeonghan stared at the retreating figure in front of him as he tried to hold back the tears that have wanted to come out. He blinked them all away and took several deep breaths. He was about to walk out of the airport but he saw Seungcheol looked back at him. Jeonghan gulped and exhaled to smile at him.

“Jeonghan.” Seungcheol called out for him.

“Yeah?” He yelled. It wasn’t loud though, just enough for Seungcheol to hear.

With quick steps, Seungcheol was right in front of Jeonghan once again. He whispered, “I want to say…. I want to thank you once again.”

Jeonghan smiled and did something he had been planning to do since the night before. He took Seungcheol’s phone from his hand and dialed his own number, “There. That’s my number.”

“Jeonghan, I- I don’t…”

“It’s okay. You can call me anytime you can. You can just tell me your name and I’ll do the talking, okay?” Jeonghan touched the other’s cheek.

Seungcheol leaned into Jeonghan’s hand, “Thank you.”

Jeonghan nodded, “I will not wait, don’t worry. But if you need me, I’ll answer.”

Seungcheol cupped Jeonghan’s face and pecked on his lips. “For the last time.” He said before he kissed him deeply. Slow and careful and emotional. They kissed until Jeonghan pulled away, “Go, before your plane leaves you.”

Seungcheol leaned his forehead into Jeonghan’s, “Thank you.”

“You’ve been thanking me when I am supposed to be the one thanking you for making my Paris trip memorable.”

Seungcheol just smiled at him and kissed Jeonghan’s lips, nose, both cheeks and lastly, his forehead. His lips touched his forehead the longest before Seungcheol pulled him into a tight hug.

Jeonghan exhaled Seungcheol’s scent before wrapping his arms around the other’s torso.

They pulled away, “Now, go. Be safe, Cheollie.”

Seungcheol rubbed Jeonghan’s cheeks and smiled, “‘Til we meet again, Han. Take care.”

And off, they go.

On their own ways.

Jeonghan had three more days before his flight back to Korea, but he chose to spend it in the hotel nearest to the airport. Never did he come out of his room. Consumed his last vacation days in Paris like the first three days when he arrived. Eating, sleeping, watching movies. He let himself sulked in sadness, in longing. He promised he’ll be on his usual when he gets back to Korea, but for now, he allowed himself to feel down. It was almost like a dream to him. For the past days, he was nothing but happy. Every single day was like a blur of happiness. Nothing but happiness. And now Seungcheol’s gone. With uncertainty of seeing him again; uncertainty of hearing him again; uncertainty of him calling his number. He let himself think of Seungcheol as much as possible until his plane left for Korea. He let himself feel everything for Seungcheol until he leaves Paris.

When he did, he said good bye to Paris with tears. He left Paris with a heavy heart, but full of memories.

He arrived to Korea with a smile, with Paris memories he’ll never forget, with Paris adventures he’ll always treasure, with Paris Seungcheol he’ll forever hold dear to his heart.

It took more than two months until Jeonghan received a phone call from an anonymous number, he wouldn’t even know it was Seungcheol until he heard him whisper his name.

Oh.

“Oh, Seungcheol. Hi.” Jeonghan smiled despite knowing the other couldn’t see him. He just felt really relieved upon hearing Seungcheol’s barely audible voice. It was just his name but it brought back too many feelings.

Jeonghan waited for a response but all he could hear were quiet sniffling from the other line. It broke his heart knowing Seungcheol is having a hard time.  Jeonghan knew Seungcheol has the tendency to stay quiet when he’s bothered, he told him this, once, when they were lying in bed. He said he managed to not talk to someone for almost a month, except his secretary. That was when his grandmother passed away and he didn’t want to speak to his family.

And Jeonghan being the lovely man that he is, he remembered what his parents taught him, “When you comfort someone and they didn’t want to tell you their story, all you could do is to make them feel better by distracting them with your own stories.”

Jeonghan checked his calendar on his bedside table just to mark the first time Seungcheol has called him but he gasped when he realized what day it was.

It’s the eighth of August.

“Shit, hold on. I have muffins here, I’ll get a candle.” He put his phone in between his ear and shoulder and ran to his kitchen to prepare and light a candle for Seungcheol. When the candle finally lit, he began singing for the person on the other line, “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Our lovely Man in Black, Happy birthday to you! Yay!” Jeonghan cheered, and then he heard the sniffling stopped. He just knew he made him smile, and for that, he smiled as well. “Happy Birthday, Seungcheol. I would say I want to give you another birthday gift but you live far away so I’m just gonna settle with this muffin I bought.”

And then, Jeonghan began talking as he kept taking a bite from his muffin. No words were heard from the other line but he could hear him breathe, it was sad but at the same time it wasn’t. Because somehow, he feels happy that he called him. He’s happy that Seungcheol listened to when he told him to call him if he needs him.

And Seungcheol needed him. Seungcheol has been holding back for the past days. A week after he came back from Paris, his mood started to drop again, he’s used to it though, which is why he thought he didn’t need to call Jeonghan. It was selfish but Jeonghan told him he won’t wait, and Seungcheol didn’t want to make things complicated, as if kissing, fucking, and staying with him in Paris wasn’t complicated already. So, he chose to not call him at all. But he did saved Jeonghan’s number, for reasons he doesn’t knows. (He knows, he just doesn’t want to acknowledge it.)

But on that particular day, his birthday, they were called for a dinner at his parents’ house, and he thought it was his birthday celebration. But it wasn’t. Like the usual, it was all about the business, the company, the family problems. His parents have always been like that, formal, precise, prim and proper. They usually didn’t care about what Seungcheol does when he goes on vacation, but some of their colleagues must have seen him with Jeonghan and they weren’t the happiest about it.

All throughout their dinner, Seungcheol would only speak when asked and when needed, like the usual. But then, his parents asked him about Jeonghan, about who he is, about what they did, and about what they are now. And they were subtly reprimanding him because having an affair will put a dirt on his family’s name.

“Dad, it’s not like his wife is not having an affair too. This is the only time Seungcheol had hang out with other person, unlike his wife.” His brother tried defending him.

His father shot him a look, “That doesn’t excuse his actions.” Then, he faced Seungcheol, “Stop meeting him.”

His brother interrupted, once again, “Why do you always have tell him what he should and he shouldn’t do? He’s 32, let him live.”

And of course, that didn’t end very well.

In the end, Seungcheol excused himself and went home.

He called Jeonghan’s number right after he arrived at his flat. Jeonghan was his breather, in Paris and now.

The calls kept on coming days after days, sometimes on a Tuesday night, then Saturday night, sometimes Seungcheol calls on the next night, and sometimes after five days. No particular number of days in between. Sometimes, Jeonghan would hear silent cries, and there are times that there’s nothing but silence. Jeonghan didn’t care, though. He liked talking in general but he liked it even more when he tells stories to Seungcheol, even if there were no replies. He hears him giggle, sometimes, though. And something inside him would do backflips upon hearing those.

Their set up went from thrice a week to once a week, from several times per month to once a month. Jeonghan wasn’t complaining though, he said it’s fine, kept telling Joshua that he’s fine and he’s not in love with Seungcheol. Joshua thought it was bullshit but whatever floats Jeonghan’s boat. Sometimes, Jeonghan would sulk because he missed Seungcheol’s voice. He missed the feeling of being taken care of him. But he couldn’t do anything about it. Sometimes, he thinks he’s probably now a home wrecker, but he remembered the ‘contract’. So, he tried to not make everything a big deal. Maybe Seungcheol just got busy, hence, the less calls.

Seungcheol wasn’t extra busy, though. He was just afraid he’s emotionally getting more and more dependent on Jeonghan. He noticed whenever he doesn’t feel okay, he would dial Jeonghan’s number. So, he tried to refrain himself. But then, when he called once, he listened to Jeonghan’s story.

Jeonghan’s stories were interesting and it made Seungcheol feel calm. Probably because of the other’s sweet and gentle voice. (It isn’t just the voice but Seungcheol wouldn’t admit that.)

Jeonghan told him so many happenings in his life, since their calls would usually last four hours. And as much as Seungcheol wanted to stop himself from calling the other, he got worried when Jeonghan accepted the call with a weak voice. He told him he was fine, though. But Jeonghan informed him how frequent his headaches were. Also, it was weird because Jeonghan would tell him the things he had lost in a short period of time.

Since then, Seungcheol would call him a little more often than usual. Enough of refraining, he thought.

Seungcheol would always call Jeonghan on their birthdays, something that he really got used to. It went on for two years, as frustrating as it was, they managed to make it happen that long. Seungcheol never uttered a word. And Jeonghan always understood him.

Jeonghan was fine with the quiet giggles, even and uneven breathing, soft whispers, and silent cries. It was fine with him. Sometimes, he would hear a very barely audible “I miss you”. He wasn’t sure if he was just hallucinating but it happened quite a few times so he believed they were real. And he always made sure he would vocally tell him he misses Seungcheol.

It was two years of pure uncertainty for Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

As soon as Seungcheol ended the call of his lawyer, he exhaled a huge huff of air and smiled.

Finally. Finally, he’s free.

He endured his family’s wishes all his life, and now, he’s free. He’s finally free.

He filed the resignation, as well. Someday soon, he’ll be no longer responsible for his family’s company. He’ll be able to do what he has always wanted to do. To start and manage a restaurant. He tried to love his office work, he did at some point. But it wasn’t his calling. He wanted a work where he would be as involved as possible, and he loved cooking. His older brother, though, was very supportive of his plan. They weren’t that close, but his brother has never really did something that will make him hate him. His brother, actually, was the first person who tried to oppose to their grandfather’s decision, but to no avail, both of them knows nothing can beat the old man. His brother, instead of hating Seungcheol, studied so hard about the company, about how to run a company, everything. He did everything because he knew somehow, that Seungcheol wasn’t staying for long. And finally, their grandfather let his brother take over the company that Seungcheol managed for a couple of years.

Out of all the people he wanted to talk to, the first person that came to his mind was Jeonghan. This time, he knows he would love to be able to talk to him and not just listen to the other. He was restricted to speak to him when he arrived from Paris, his grandfather had known about Jeonghan and he ordered Seungcheol to not see him. So, the best solution Seungcheol could think of was to call Jeonghan and never say a single word, which the latter understood right from the start. But today, he’s free. He was determined he’ll speak with him.

He smiled at the thought and called Jeonghan’s number. He didn’t save it but he memorized it by heart.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed as he waited for Jeonghan to pick up the call, but he was confused when a different voice speaks up, “Hello?”

Seungcheol cleared his throat, “Uhm, is this Jeonghan?”

A minute of silence and Seungcheol checked if the call dropped but it didn’t and he made sure he dialed the right number. After a while, the person on the other line spoke, “Is this Choi Seungcheol?”

Seungcheol blinked and cleared his throat once again, “Uhh. Yeah, this is Seungcheol speaking. Is…. Is Jeonghan there?”

The person cleared his throat as well, “Hello. This is Joshua Hong, I’m Jeonghan’s best friend. I…. Uhm. Is it fine to ask for your address? There’s something Jeonghan wanted to give you.”

Seungcheol’s brows furrowed in confusion, “Oh. Uhh. Yeah, sure. I’ll uhh..”

The person named Joshua cut him off, “Can you message it to this number?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will. Uhm. Is Jeonghan not available at this moment?”

Seungcheol heard Joshua exhaled, “I think it would be better if you can wait for a few days and hear it from him.”

Seungcheol’s eyes went wide for a second, “Oh. Yeah, right. I’m sorry.”

Joshua cut him off, “I understand, Mr. Choi. Uhm, yeah. I’ll send it right away. Thank you.”

“Yeah, thank you, too.”

And the call ended leaving Seungcheol confused as ever.

He received it the day his resignation was signed so he was even more excited to open a medium-sized box from Jeonghan, he felt like it was his reward. It wasn’t heavy but it wasn’t light either. He sat down on his bed and slowly opened it.

What he first sees was a little note saying,

“Hello, this is Joshua. I’m sorry it has to be this way but here’s my contact number in case you plan on coming to Korea.

XXX-XXXX-XXX”

Seungcheol was even more puzzled with the note. He put Joshua’s note on the side and continued on checking what’s inside the box.

There was a black scarf. It seemed like it was handmade, seeing how there are parts that are messier than the other parts, some are a little undone but it’s really pretty. It’s something that Seungcheol will wear on winter.

Under the scarf, there was a brown envelope. It was addressed to him as “Mr. Man in Black” and he chuckled when he read it aloud.

He opened the letter which was two pages filled with tiny irregular scribbles.

Hi, Seungcheol!

He began reading.

This is me, the most beautiful yet the most handsome human being on earth, Yoon Jeonghan.

Seungcheol snickered, “Too cute.”

Have you seen the scarf? I did that! You should be proud of me and you have to make sure that you will wear it, especially on winter when it gets really cold. I made it long and heavy like that so it’ll keep you warm for sure. I hope you’ll remember me during those times.

First of all, I would like to apologize for my messy handwriting. I’m a little unwell as I write but hopefully, I can manage to finish and be able to tell you everything. Oh, and I apologize that I might make you tear up. Hehe

The next sentence was scribbled off with multiple lines but it was still a little readable.

Anyway, I’m sorry for not telling you this and I probably have

It ended there and started a new sentence.

Seungcheol, about eight months ago I have been feeling really unwell. I think I told you that. I was feeling really really weird and it went on for two months. That’s when I decided I should get a checkup. Okay, scratch that, I think you know how stubborn I am, so yeah it was Joshua who forced me to meet a doctor. And when I did, the results of all the exams I took weren’t really that great.

Seungcheol stopped reading after realizing where the letter is going. He was breathing heavily and a little anxious. He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them, he started reading again.

I’m sorry if this is how I’ll say it, I would love to call you but maybe you’re busy and I’m afraid I won’t be able to wait for your call. Seungcheol, I’m really sorry. But please, read everything in this letter. Read it until the last word, okay? Promise me that you will.

Seungcheol answered, “I promise.” before continuing.

Seungcheol, I have a stage four brain cancer and I tried fighting it, I really did. But I’m getting weaker and weaker and it hurts. Everything hurts so badly. And I kept forgetting things, which is why I am writing now that I can still remember you.

Seungcheol’s vision started to blur as his tears are welling up his eyes. He brought his knees up to his chest and laid his head there for a while as he cried. He started connecting the dots, from all the heavy breathing he heard when he last called Jeonghan, all the headaches that the other was whining about, all the times he said he forgot his things everywhere, all the weak voice he listened to, to Joshua answering his call instead of Jeonghan, the note asking if he plans to come to Korea, this box as a gift instead of seeing Jeonghan himself. It all made sense to him and he was nothing but devastated. He grabbed the scarf and smelled it like he was sniffling Jeonghan. He hugged it close to his heart thinking it was Jeonghan. He sobbed and sobbed and almost chose to discontinue reading the letter but he remembered he just made a promise, so he wiped his tears away weakly and held the paper once more.

I know you’re asking why I didn’t tell you, it’s because I didn’t want to bother and worry you more. Seungcheol, please do not blame yourself, okay? This was my choice. And I know it may sound selfish to you but really, I’m starting to get tired. I would love to see you again but I don’t think I can. I’m really sorry. To somehow make you feel better, I am crying as I write so you wouldn’t feel alone. By the time you receive this, I’m probably gone already, but I hope you know that you will always be a part of me. I really missed you, Cheol. I can’t say I will miss you because I really don’t know what happens next once I’m gone. But one thing’s for sure, I really missed you. And I wouldn’t have trade meeting you for anything else. You made me even happier.

“I made you happier, but you were the only thing that made me happy. No one and nothing else, Jeonghan. It was only you.” He whispered.

You’re one of the strongest person I’ve met, Cheol. Physically and emotionally and mentally. I really really adore you, emphasis on really. Can I compliment you first? I know I’ve said this before but you’re really really beautiful, your gummy smile, your dimple, your LASHES!, your big doe eyes, and your lips, damn baby I would love to kiss those lips again I’m telling you. And your body, you make me whistle, you’re too hot! You know what? Let me tell you secret, ever since you fucked me or made love with me (I call it made love, fucking sounds like we’re not friends or something) I’ve never been that close to any men anymore. It’s like you have a magic in that department. Too good, too damn hot, too sexy, everything! And okay, I give you permission to let the people know how good you are in bed because I think I’ve lost my desire on anyone else but you.

Seungcheol laughed.

Anyway, enough of the sex talk. Seungcheol, you’re really admirable. I want you to know that every time you call me, I can really feel at ease, that’s why I always look forward to the days my phone would ring. It’s weird how much connected I am to you and I don’t know if you have a special someone already but I hope no matter who it is, I hope he/she will take care of you. Because you deserve every good thing the world could offer.

“No one. I have no one else, Jeonghan.”

Seungcheol, promise me that you will never give up on life for as long as you can, and never ever give up on love because you have so much love to offer. And when that time comes, when your true love comes, I hope both of you would never have to let go of each other. You deserve to be loved the same way you love. Oh and please do not overwork yourself, okay? Please eat on time, drink lots of water. Let yourself enjoy life. Try to not guard yourself too much. You have so much to give to the world, I hope you know that. The world needs more nice people like you, Cheollie. Oh and smile a lot, you shine the brightest when you smile, it makes me really happy too. Do you remember when we first met? You look really dashingly handsome and I know that the more you age, the more you’ll be a fine fine man, so let’s not put those good looks to waste, yeah?

Seungcheol exhaled as he turned to the next page.

I also sent you the pictures we took in Paris. All of them, they’re yours now. I kept them because they were the only physical memory of you that I had. But now that I’m close to leaving, I don’t want them to go to waste so I’m giving them to you. I hope it will make you less lonely. I have secret, I placed a kiss on each of them. I hope those kisses will reach you.

Seungcheol, then collected all the pieces of pictures and with tears on his face he placed kisses on them, too, one by one.

Thank you, Seungcheol, for making me very happy. I want you to know that it wasn’t the fact that Paris is the city of love that made it special, it was you. I came to Paris to reward myself with rest, but instead, I got you. And I’ve never been so happy. You took good good care of me and I’ve always been thankful of that. Thank you for those times you’d catch me when I’d tripped. Thank you for all the seconds we were together. Thank you for making me feel even more special after we made love. You are so dear to me, Seungcheol. I hope our memories will serve as your inspiration to continue living. Someday, when you meet your true love, I hope you’ll treat them even better than what you did to me.

Seungcheol wiped his tears away for the nth time. He’s sure he’ll get a headache after all these crying sessions he had. With just one letter, he shed more than enough tears. All his life, he barely had emotions, he got used to feeling nothing, and now, he’s got everything all because of one letter, one person.

I included a small box, look for it. Check what’s inside of it.

Seungcheol did as he was told. He saw a mint colored tiny box and his eyes went as wide as they could be when he opened it. “Oh God.”

I’m also giving you this necklace, my necklace that you loved so much to pull just so you can kiss me. I want you to keep it for yourself. The pendant is called “Good karma happy lotus necklace”, this was given to me by my grandmother. It’s a symbol to remind people to keep loving and it’s full of positive energy. If you can, wear it as much as you can. Make a wish on it so the positive energy and love you give to the world is what the world will give back to you. That was what my granny told me and I believed it ever since.

Seungcheol kissed the pendant for a few seconds before he put it on his neck.

For the last time, I want to thank you. Thank you, Seungcheol. You helped me a lot just by being there. I missed you. And I’m really sorry I had to say goodbye like this, but it’s better than not telling you, right? Seungcheol, there’s something I really want you to know. I don’t know how you’d react but I want to tell you this at least before I’m taken.

I love you.

“Jeonghan.” Seungcheol cried out his name. He just kept on repeating as he wailed.

I think I’ve been in love with you since Paris, but I only realized it just now, before I wrote this letter. I’m sorry if it has to be this way. I love you, Seungcheol. I really do. I want you to know that you are very easy to love, because you are strong and caring. Please don’t give up on love, yeah? And on yourself, never give up on yourself. I don’t know if guardian angels are real but if they are, then I’ll make sure I will be your guardian angel. I love you. I hope in our next lives, we’d meet again. Smile a lot for me, okay? I love you. Good bye, Seungcheol.

“No. No. No, don’t go. No, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol sobbed hard.

“Hi.” Joshua said as he walked to Seungcheol.

“Hello, Joshua, right?” Seungcheol straightened up his stance and offered his hand which the said man took, “Yeah, I’m Joshua. Jeonghan’s best friend.” Then, they smiled.

“So, let’s go?” Joshua said as he asked Seungcheol to follow him to his car.

After they settled in, Joshua started to drive. “How was your flight?”

Seungcheol smiled, “It was fine. Took too long but it was fine.”

“That’s good.” Joshua peeked at him, “I’m sorry. It must have been a shock to you. You didn’t even get to see him.”

Seungcheol sighed, “I understand. It was his choice and I respect it. Jeonghan and I-“ He took a deep breath before he continued, “We were in a complicated but not really complicated situation.”

Joshua chuckled, “You don’t need to explain, he told me about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me a lot about you.”

“Good things, I hope.”

Joshua laughed, “I’m not sure about that. Jeonghan talked too forward so he would just say anything he wanted to. But I must say that he looked really happy when he came back from Paris. It’s because of you, I guess.”

Seungcheol smiled at nowhere, “He made me very happy too. He helped me grow into something I didn’t know I would be. I even went to a doctor to help me be a better person. He didn’t told me to, but I thought he would be happy if he knew that I’m taking care of myself.”

Joshua nodded, “He was always like that. He had that impact on everyone, you know? Even when he hasn’t met you yet, he was that turning point of everyone’s life.”

They went silent for a couple of minutes until Seungcheol spoke, “It was only what? Twelve? Thirteen days? We were together for thirteen days, but he really left something in me.”

Joshua agreed, “I’m really glad you called. He asked me to not throw his phone away, not until you call him. He really wanted to give you the box. He was already having hard time breathing when he tried his best to write for you. I asked him once, on why he never did try on contacting you himself rather than waiting for your call, he just told me he didn’t want to add more problems on your shoulder. He said you were lonely your whole life but he saw you smiled a lot in Paris. One time he told me that he hoped you enjoyed the times when you call for him, since it was only him who talked. He hoped it was a healing for you just as much as it was to him.”

Seungcheol smiled, “It was. He was the healing I look forward to hear from. He was like a song I’ll never get tired of listening. He was even better than a song, you know? When you repeat your favorite song, the lyrics will always be the same. But Jeonghan? Jeonghan’s stories were all different, but the same effect on me. I wish….” He stuttered, “Sometimes, I wish I was able to meet him again and see him smile.”

“Yeah, we all hope for the same thing. He would have a bright future ahead of him. Did he tell you he was planning to adopt a kid?”

Seungcheol shook his head no, “I don’t think he mentioned it. Was he?”

“Yeah. Our friends went to visit this orphanage and he was very delighted, most especially on that one little boy. He said he reminded him of a friend he met in Paris. Obviously, it was you.” Joshua chuckled before continuing, “He was already preparing his papers, actually. All he needed to do was to pass for application but then I told him to go for a checkup first since he kept on getting sick, and there, he was diagnosed. So he chose to not push through with the adoption.”

When they arrived at their destination, Joshua tapped Seungcheol’s shoulder, “We’re here. Are you ready?”

Seungcheol nodded, “I am.” And smiled at Joshua.

They walked to where Jeonghan’s grave is. “Here. Hi, Hannie. I finally brought him with me, are you happy?” Joshua said as he laid a bouquet of flowers on the ground just below his best friend’s tombstone. Joshua tapped Jeonghan’s name before facing Seungcheol who was staring at the tombstone, “I’ll leave you for now, Seungcheol. I’ll just pick up my boyfriend. Spend your time with him, I’m sure he’s smiling so wide right now.”

Seungcheol nodded.

When Joshua was about to open his car door, he heard Seungcheol called out to him, “Thank you.” He smiled at him.

When Joshua’s car left, Seungcheol found the courage to walk and sit in front of Jeonghan’s tombstone. He touched his name and whispered, “Yoon Jeonghan.”

He sighed and crossed his legs to have a comfortable position.

“Hi, Han.” He chuckled quietly. “It’s weird. This is the first time I’ve seen you in years. Unfortunately, it’s not your beautiful face I’m seeing.” He smiled.

“Are you happy there? The last time I saw you was in Paris. And now, here.”

He took a deep breath, “Han, I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your smile. And I really miss your laugh.” He felt his eyes tear up, “Thank you. Han, thank you for giving me the box. For giving me your precious pictures, and for making the most beautiful scarf in the world. Oh, and thank you for the necklace too. And yes, it’s my favorite. You’re my favorite, actually. I’m wearing your necklace, by the way. It makes me feel like you are with me. I love the scarf, too. I brought it with me, honestly. I kind of couldn’t let go of you.” He wiped when he felt a tear dropped.

“Your letter, I’ll keep it forever. I’m sorry it took me quite a while to come and see you. It was hard.” He laughed, “Do you know what hurts the most? It’s the fact that for two years, two freaking years, it was a long time for me to visit you but I didn’t. I wish I did. I really wish I did, Han. You didn’t even get to hear my voice before you…. left.”

He started crying, “H-Han, why- why didn’t you tell me? Han, I would have fled from Canada. Han.” He called out as he cried. “Hannie. Jeonghan.” He stretched his arm to touch his name again, “Why did- Why was it you? I’m so… I’m so so sorry I wish I called you earlier. I wish…” He cried hard, the kind of cry where he wanted to punch something to release his sadness, to release every emotion that he’s feeling. “Han, I want to hold you again. You helped me a lot, but I wasn’t there when you need me. I’m so sorry.” He closed his eyes and let his tears fall. “All this time- all this time, I ask myself why we had to meet only for Him to take you away just like that. And I- I couldn’t accept it, Han. I can’t- I don’t want to.” He wiped away his tears and exhaled, “Did you see me check on your photos every single day?” He chuckled. “I bet you’re bragging there and telling everyone else how there’s a man who’s whipped for you.” He looked up to the sky for a few seconds and smiled at Jeonghan’s name, “I see your beautiful smile every time I think of you. I realized maybe He sent you to be my saving grace. To be my angel. You saved me, baby. You liked that, didn’t you? I remember you would always blush whenever I call you that.” He sighed and went silent for a long time and tried to clean up Jeonghan’s tombstone.

“I miss you, Han. I wish I could hug you. You know what? I would love to kiss you again. I wish I kissed you when you would always ask for one.” He smiled, “Don’t worry about me too much, I’ll try to live my life to the fullest. Wait for me there, yeah?” He chuckled. “You wanted us to meet in our next lives, right? I do, too, Hannie. I would love to. I hope in our next lives, we’ll meet as early as possible. You and I would be great childhood friends. I hope in my next life, I would run to you no matter what it takes. I miss you, Han. I promise I’ll visit you here as much as I can.”

He took a deep deep breath and whispered, “I haven’t told you because I never got the chance to tell you this. But I- I love you, too, Jeonghan. I really do.” He smiled.

Seungcheol stretched his arms and looked around to check if Joshua’s car is back and he saw him with his boyfriend, he suppose, leaning on his car. Joshua waved at him and smiled.

Seungcheol did the same and faced Jeonghan one more time, “I’ll come back. I promise.” He said and stood up.

Joshua and his boyfriend came and said their hellos to Jeonghan. Joshua introduced his boyfriend, Seokmin, to Seungcheol before they head to the car.

When they were on their way to the hotel where Seungcheol booked his stay, he asked Joshua, “Hey, Joshua. Do you know who the little boy Jeonghan wanted to adopt is?”

Joshua looked at him through the rearview mirror and nodded, “Yeah, his name is Hansol. Why?”

Seungcheol hummed, “Do you happen to know if Hansol is still available for adoption?”

Several years later…….

“Dad?” Hansol yelled as he ran to his father’s working office. “Dad?” He called out again.

“Yes, son?” Seungcheol looked up from his laptop to check on his son. “What is it?”

Hansol entered his office, “Have you, perhaps, seen Papa’s pendant?”

“Hansol, did you lose it?” Seungcheol puts his papers and ballpen down to focus on his son.

“I….” Hansol stuttered. “I… uhm. I broke the lace so I put it on the table.” He said and pointed outside, Seungcheol’s working office at home is glass-covered so he could clearly see what his children are up to. Hansol continued, “I went to get something to fix it but I guess Chan played with it, and now I can’t find it. I’m sorry, Dad.” He looked down on his feet.

Seungcheol sighed and stood up, “Alright, let’s look for it.”

They found it under their couch. Chan explained in his very best that he was just playing with his favorite blanket, which was the scarf that Jeonghan made for Seungcheol, and didn’t know something was thrown off. He cried after explaining.

“Okay, alright. Come here, Channie. It’s okay, but next time you have to be very careful when playing, okay?” Seungcheol said as he hugged Chan. “Yes, Dad.” He whispered on his father’s neck.

Seungcheol continued to rub his youngest’s back to calm him down. Chan is now four and was adopted when he was still months old, making Hansol seven years older than him. Seungcheol pursued on adopting Hansol and luckily he got him after a few months. Hansol was only four then. It was tough being a single parent, but he made it. He moved back to Korea to make it easier for him to visit Jeonghan as often as he could. Hansol and Chan got the Choi as their family names. Before he got Hansol and Chan, Seungcheol went to talk to Jeonghan’s parents to ask for their permission if they would approve of Jeonghan being treated as their Papa and both of them were very glad and emotionally accepted. They treated Seungcheol as their son-in-law despite no marriage. It was a lot to take in for Seungcheol but Joshua and Seokmin were enthusiastic to help him, they are also Hansol and Chan’s godparents. Seungcheol never got married, not even in a relationship, so it was all him. It was difficult to explain for his kids especially when they ask about their other parent, but Seungcheol tried his best to spell out their situation in words that the kids could easily understand. Hansol would whine about it when he was younger and very persistent to ask for another parent but as he aged, he got to understand what his Dad was trying to tell him. In the end, he loved being a son of Seungcheol and Jeonghan even if he can’t see the latter. For Chan, however, since he’s still young, Seungcheol and Hansol made sure to be patient on explaining to him until he would understand everything.

“Hansol, next time something like this happens, call me, alright? I’ll fix it for you.”

Hansol nodded, “Yes, Dad. I’m sorry.”

“Okay. You’re forgiven. Come here, give me a hug.” Seungcheol said which his child complied.

Seungcheol whispered, “Your Papa would have loved you both if he’s still here. Hansol, please take care of your Papa’s pendant, okay? That’s Papa and Dad’s favorite. By the time Chan turns ten, I’ll give him Papa’s lace. And both of you have to promise me you will take good care of them. And of course, both of you have to promise me and Papa that you will take care of each other.” He told the boys and they both agreed with Chan trying to perfect his pinky promise. Seungcheol kissed the top of their heads before going back to his office.

When he sat down, he grabbed the only photo of him and Jeonghan, “Hi, babe.” His other hand touched the lace that hugs his neck. It was Jeonghan’s necklace, the pendant was given to Hansol when he turned ten. It was something to let his children know that even if they never met Jeonghan, especially Chan, he would have been the best Papa in the world. “Han, I brought them up with the thought of you as my husband. How ironic is it that now, I am single but technically not because I feel married to you. You are my true love, Han. You and the kids.” He chuckled.

“I love you, Jeonghan. It’s still you.”