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Sometimes it feels like she’s floating. It’s not uncomfortable, she is warm and safe. And it’s so hard to concentrate on the moment that letting go and not thinking about it seems so easy. So she let’s go, lets everything fall away and just is. Let herself be unattached to the moment. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Just calmness and … being.
She is in the subway. Suddenly everything is there again. Touchable. The people, the subway car, the movement of the train as it travels through the tunnel. Even the classic smell of a New Yorker subway train.
Something had cached her attention. Jane wants to think about why she felt the way she felt before, wants to find out what's happening to her, but instead her mind is screaming to her to find the thing she noticed. She’s not even sure what to look for.
It’s crowded. But her eyes lock on a pair of boots in front of her. They are light and slim.
Her eyes wander up. The legs are clad in tights. There are rips at both knees and a small amount of blood stains the cotton. She lets her gaze travel even further up. Till she looks at the most sexiest thighs. Jane loves thighs. She thinks she might always have loved thighs but concentrating on that thought is too much of an effort when looking at the girl in front of her is everything she ever wants to do.
She is sure that those thighs are heaven made and her new life goal (only life goal? Does she have others?) is to die being suffocated by them.
She quickly stops that train of thought. There is definitely a better time for that than while riding the subway and ogling strangers.
Her eyes wander over a short skirt and a loose shirt. And … oh … there are coffee stains on the girl's shirt, and it clings to the skin. And even though she tries not to notice it, tries to push out the kind of thoughts she had before, she can’t help but see the gentle curve of the girl's boobs and how they move a little when the train rattles.
She quickly moves her gaze further up and notices curly dark blond hair with a coppery shimmer. She imagines how they would feel against her finger, against her face, against her… the girl is crying. Fuck. How did she not notice until now?
The girl is obviously trying not to, but she doesn’t succeed, her hand darts to her face, and she wipes away a tear that escaped her eyes.
Jane wants to help, she has to help. So she stands up and walks up to the girl. Looking down on her, she seems so small and vulnerable, and Jane wants to do everything to make her feel better. But when the girl looks up, she is not looking at Jane the way she expected. She expected a sad look, a vulnerable look, maybe even a scared look. But the girl looks at Jane with pure determination in her eyes, she looks like she is ready to jump Jane's throat if she just made one wrong move.
And her eyes are green. And so, so pretty. Slightly red because of the crying and covered by round glasses. Her face is round and wonderfully framed by that beautiful hair. She has freckles. Jane is sure that the girl is the most beautiful girl she has ever laid eyes on. She is not even able to come up with any other faces of people she should know…
They look at each other for a few seconds and the girl's eyes grow softer.
„Yikes!“ Jane then says and points at the girl's shirt. Even though she schools her face to be neutral, she internally cringes hard at her poor excuse of a conversation start.
To make it up Jane quickly takes her backpack and takes out a scarf that she knew was in there.
„Here. You seem like you were going somewhere important. So… Keep it“ the girl looks at her with big eyes.
„You…“ she says „Oh my god. I can’t take your scarf“ and she looks so sincere and worried about Jane. And she smells like pancakes. Jane is not sure why, but she loves it.
„I'll get another one“ she shrugs.
The girl looks at her unbelieving. „But it’s cold!“
„Yeah.“ and Jane grins at the girl, this pretty girl who quickly wins over Jane's heart, at a speed Jane is not used to. „But I don’t go outside much.“ she quickly makes up. She is not even sure what she does all day and whatever she would need a scarf for. This girl is crazy good at keeping her attention.
The girl only looks at her, unconvinced. So she adds „look, you can take it, or I can leave it on the seat beside you. And it can get absorbed into the subway ecosystem forever“
Hesitantly, the girl reached out for the scarf and Jane grins at her, proud for having convinced her. There is a small electric shock when her hand touches the wool, and she jumps. Jane has to laugh a little but manages to keep it at a minimum, so the girl doesn’t feel mocked. That’s the last thing Jane would want.
„Anybody ever tell you that you smell like pancakes?“
The train makes a sudden move and Jane reaches for a hold, but something seems different, suddenly she feels different and everything goes dark. It’s not just the electricity that goes away, Jane loses her touch. And she floats. And it’s comfortable. It’s warm. And she’s safe. But this girl - the Coffee Girl - her face is there, and it stays in her vision. She wants to see her again. Her Face... And her smell…. She smelt like pancakes … and Jane knows she should know what to feel about that. But she doesn’t. But Coffee girl. She is something special. Maybe she is worth concentrating on her surroundings. So for the first time since what feels like forever, Jane tries.