Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

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Yoongi had his back leaned against the wall, hands on the pockets of his apron.

“We have a new employee arriving today,” Jungho, their manager, announced. He had requested everyone’s presence in the back room for a brief meeting, as they were getting ready for another day of work.

The three of them – including the manager ‒ were already in their uniforms, ready to tend to any customers as soon as they opened the shop.

“His name is Kim Taehyung,” Jungho continued, looking down at his wrist watch. “He should be getting here before we open.”

Right at that moment, the sound of the shop’s door chime echoed through the place.

They waited a few seconds until there was knocking on the wooden door of the back room, and Jungho reached to open it, beckoning the person to come inside.

A young man walked in, with a sheepish smile, dark blond hair falling on his eyes. He bowed and greeted the three people in the room, and Yoongi and his colleague bowed back, as their manager shook the guy’s hand.

“Good morning, everyone. Sorry if I’m late,” The man’s eyes were running across all three of them. Yoongi figured he was nervous. “I’m Kim Taehyung. I hope we can work well together, please take care of me.” He bowed one more time, in their general direction.

“It’s nice to have you here, Taehyung-ssi, I hope you’re doing well.” Jungho greeted. “These two here are Yoongi and Mina. Both of them have worked here for good amount of time, so feel free to ask any questions or refer to them for any additional instructions you might need. I’m sure you’ll get along well.”

Yoongi nodded, giving a slightly awkward wave, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Mina giving the newbie a small smile. Which the guy returned with the most enthusiastic, bright grin — not one bit deterred by the sheer awkwardness from the two colleagues.

“Well, then,” Jungho let out, unfazed by the duo’s lack of words. “We’re opening in a few minutes, so…” He moved away from the door, rummaging through one of the cabinets in the far corner of the room. “I’ll just hand you your uniform so you can change, then you can join these guys at the front.”

And that was their dismissal.

It had been almost three years since Yoongi first started working at Siso Cafe, a small coffee shop right next to Seoul National University. The place was nice and cozy, with an overall homey atmosphere. Despite not being the most popular in that area, a good amount of students stopped by before or in between classes, looking for a caffeine (or sugar) boost.

It was also one of the places Yoongi felt most comfortable and at ease.

All around the shop, the light-brown walls were covered with small pieces of art — a few of them had color, but most were in black-and-white. Yoongi had enjoyed looking through and studying each piece during his first few months working there, until he had unknowingly mapped out the whole room in his head. His favorite corner was towards the back, near the windows, where part of the wall looked like it had been burned, but was actually part of a big art piece attached to it.

The walls usually went unnoticed by those who only stopped by to take orders to-go, but most of their regulars had, at some point, either asked about it or mentioned it in passing. It was always interesting to see when a new face stayed long enough to study the walls more closely.

The people who frequented the shop were also, more often than not, quiet. Most of the time, they were students looking for a place to study more comfortably, nine-to-fivers picking up coffee on their way to work or long retired ajusshi who preferred to spend their time out of the house.

Yoongi’s colleague, Mina, was always trying to hide from the one particular ajusshi who claimed his youngest niece looked just like her. He would go on long monologues about her, some of the gushing and compliments being inadvertly thrown at Mina as well — who was as shy and reserved as Yoongi, if not more. She would always turn redder than the strawberry syrup they had in the shop.

Yoongi and her got along well, despite Mina being a whole five years younger. They didn’t have much time to chat during shifts, since most days it was only the two of them working and it could get very busy, but Yoongi enjoyed her company. She was usually quiet and kept to herself, but still joined in whenever Yoongi made witty comments throughout the day. 

Maybe now that they had someone else to help out they’d be able to talk and get to know each other a bit more.

From the jump, it became clear that, unlike Yoongi and Mina, Kim Taehyung was the talkative type — if not that, he seemed at least more open and friendly than the both of them — if the big, bright smile and the eagerness with which he approached them was anything to go by. He seemed much more relaxed, as he came over to greet them for the second time and join the two of them behind the counter.

He readily waited for their instructions, whole body turned to them, big smile still on his face.

Yoongi had been through said routine of showing the ropes to a newbie a few times before — as had Mina, though a bit less than him, since she had started working there later. They were both quite familiar with the process, but Yoongi decided to take the lead and start showing Taehyung around, while Mina took care of opening the shop.

As Yoongi had figured, Kim Taehyung was the talkative type. And it didn’t bother him all that much, if he was being honest. Taehyung knew when to chime in and when to just quietly pay attention if Yoongi explained something.

If anything, Yoongi was glad Kim Taehyung kept asking so many questions — at least he seemed to be focused on learning and adjusting to their workflow.

In the end, their first day with a new set of hands went extremely well. They managed to fall into a nice rhythm between the three of them, and it was way less awkward than Yoongi expected it to be. Taehyung listened well and worked diligently — while still trying to lighten the mood with his cheeky remarks, whenever they were alone or there weren't any new customers to tend to. He was good at breaking the ice and making the atmosphere comfortable — which would usually take at least a week to happen, whenever someone new joined their introvert-lead environment.

Kim Taehyung didn’t let Yoongi and Mina’s quiet nature stop him from wrapping the other two in conversations. He also had a permanent smile on his face, and would easily engage in light-hearted chats with customers.

It was without much surprise that the three of them managed to settle into an ideal workflow within the first week.

Kim Taehyung managed to win everyone over very quickly. All of their regulars seemed to love him, and he did well tending to any type of customer. He was friendly, patient, and great at dealing with possible uncomfortable situations.

They decided to let him tend to the tables most of the time, as well as helping with orders on busy hours. Mina preferred to be behind the counter, and so did Yoongi, so it worked well.

Most of the time, Yoongi managed the cashier, since he had more experience and could easily multi-task if necessary. Although he also had a bit of a hard time dealing with customers in the beginning, he was mostly used to it by now, so he would usually let Mina work on the orders at the station, where she felt most comfortable.

Taehyung seemed to be the missing extroverted, light-spirited piece of their little machine, and he fit right in. As the days went by, Yoongi started to actually enjoy their chats, and at that point, Taehyung had made Mina’s shy giggles turn into full-on laughs more times than they could count.

“Hyung, I’m having my break in a few, okay?” Taehyung had just finished wiping one of the tables, and was now bending over the counter to reach Yoongi. 

After getting a nod from Yoongi, Taehyung straightened back up, grinning, before he turned around and skipped all the way to the backroom.

Yoongi heard a quiet chuckle right next to him.

“He’s something else, isn’t he?” Mina said, after calling out an order and placing it on the counter. Yoongi could see a speck of fondness in her eyes, as she shook her head.

And Yoongi had to agree, Kim Taehyung was definitely something else.

The customer Mina had called out came up to the counter to get their order, and she quickly turned her attention to him. They both watched as the man tried to balance his coffee, a wrapped sandwich and also reach over for the paper napkins on top of the counter. Mina brought the container closer, and the guy gave her a grateful smile, fixing his dark-green beanie before picking up a couple napkins and whispering a quick “Thank you”. He backed away slowly, towards one of the tables, where he’d probably been sitting.

The table right in front of the cashier, where Yoongi had been stationed for most of his shift.

He hadn’t noticed the man before, but he had a laptop opened up on the table, which had just been pushed to the side so he could put down his food. He looked just like any other university student who stopped by the shop for a study session and snack.

Yoongi’s attention went back Mina momentarily, as she called out another customer’s name, and at that same moment, Kim Taehyung appeared from the corredor leading to the back room, smile on his face and lunchbox in his hand. His eyes were laser-focused, scanning through the room, until they widened for a split-second, his smile now even bigger.

Taehyung marched to the table right in front of the cashier, where the guy with the dark-green beanie was sitting.

”Sorry, didn’t mean to make you wait, Min,” Taehyung was almost pouting, as he pulled the chair across from the other so he could sit, and the guy just shook his hand — that wasn’t busy holding his drink — while humming through the straw in his mouth.

A silver, clearly metal-made straw.

Huh.

Yoongi couldn’t hear much of the exchange, nor understand exactly what Kim Taehyung and the man were talking so lively about, but the two seemed considerably close. He wasn’t one to pry — and, usually, wouldn’t care for anyone else’s business — but something about the enthusiastic way the guy seemed to drink up everything Taehyung was saying, while laughing through his metal straw, was oddly captivating to him.

Taehyung stayed at the table for the remainder of his lunch, chatting and trading smiles with the man, up until Mina called out that his break was over.

Yoongi kept watching as Taehyung grabbed his things and walked over to his friend, bowing down slightly to plant a kiss on top of his head, over the beanie.

As he backed away, Yoongi could see the smile on the friend’s face, and the way his cheeks pushed up and his eyes were barely open anymore.

The friend made a shoo motion with his hands when Taehyung started making kissy noises at him, and Yoongi couldn’t help finding it all very amusing.

Taehyung eventually went back to work and Yoongi watched as his friend finished his drink, took out the silver straw from the cup, cleaned it up with some paper towels and placed it carefully inside a small clothed pouch.

The rest of the day went by fast.

Yoongi spent his break in the backroom, listening to some music and going over his schedule for the week. As he took a sip from his drink, his mind kept wandering back to Kim Taehyung’s friend. Him sipping from his metal straw, laughing so hard his eyes would close.

He wondered what kind of relationship those two had.

They must have known each other for a while, if the natural way they shared skin-ship said anything. If not extremely close friends… maybe even lovers?

Yoongi was definitely overanalyzing it.

He couldn’t help it, really. Just the thought of having another person from the LGBTQ+ community working with him was already comforting. Either way, he highly doubted Kim Taehyung would turn out to be a bigoted asshole, even if he wasn’t. He would probably be an ally.

That line of thought made Yoongi genuinely chuckle. It made him sound just like a teenager again, insecure, trying to silently gauge people’s stance on gay rights.

He liked to think he was past that period of his life, but the underlying doubt, the silent fear of rejection… it was always there, no matter how many years had passed.

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Yoongi didn’t have any classes that night, so he decided to go to the neighborhood park after his shift and just walk for a bit before going home.

Truthfully, he tried to stay out of the house as much as he could (without getting drilled for it). So he spent the early-evening walking and listening to music, until it was just late enough.

He pushed his bike on his way back, and left it near the fence before letting himself in through the back door as quietly as possible. He beelined for the stairs, planning to go straight to his bedroom and hopefully not bump into anyone on the way.

It seemed luck wasn’t exactly on his side, because a high-pitched shout bounced through the walls before he could even reach the top of the staircase.

“Yubin-ah, dinner will be ready in five!”

Yoongi tried really hard not to cringe, as he heard his mother calling out from the kitchen.

His grip on the railing tightened, and he took a deep breath in, trying to brush away the annoyance that came every time he heard that name.

He didn’t answer, even though he knew his mother was talking to him. He kept walking until he got to his room and closed the door.

Living with his family as a twenty-four-year-old was something he was only a tad bit ashamed of.

Some guys his age still lived with their parents, surely, but Yoongi doubted many were treated like troubled teenagers at that point.

Unfortunately, the money he made at Siso wasn’t enough to rent an apartment, pay for his tuition, food, bills and the health care he was trying to maintain. Not with the way his parents were so opposed to him leaving home (or even pursuing his personal and health-related goals). They would certainly deny any help he needed if he decided to move out. It would be like cutting them out of his live, essentially.

So he tried hard to save what he could.

According to his parents, he had no reason to complain. He had food on the table, a bed to sleep on, a roof over his head and people who cared about his well-being.

He wasn’t so sure about that last one, but he did his best not to complain, even if it wasn’t always that easy.

Living under his parents’ roof meant a lot of things — including having to swallow his tongue every time someone addressed him. Having to acknowledge his family despite all the ways in which they refused to respect him.

Having to keep hearing a name he buried long ago.

Over, and over.

Having to accept being addressed, referred to and treated as something he wasn’t.

Finally in his room, Yoongi rid himself from his bag and plopped down on his desk chair, letting out a heavy sigh. After just sitting down for a minute, he fetched his phone from his back pocket and scrolled through his contact list until he found the one he was looking for. 

“Hello?” A low, raspy voice came from the other end of the line. “Hyung?”

Yoongi couldn’t hold back the small smile forming on his lips.

“Hey, Joon,” He said, as a greeting. “Where are you? Still at the studio?”

Yoongi was playing absentmindedly with the keys of his MIDI controller, though it made no sound.

“I’m not, actually,” Namjoon chuckled, very much aware of his habit of falling asleep in the rented studio. “I’m back home early, for once. You?”

Yoongi let his fingers slide down the keyboard, until they fell to the desk.

“Home, I guess.”

The line stayed quiet for a moment after he answered. Then his friend hummed, in response.

“Anything happen’ today?”

Yoongi let out another sigh, twisting in his chair.

“Not really… I just, I don’t know, wanted to talk I guess.” Yoongi said, his voice coming out a bit strained.

“Did something happen?”

“Nah, just the usual,” Yoongi stopped tapping his fingers on the keys, sighing. “I guess I’m just a bit tired.”

“Tired, eh?” He heard a shuffle, then a sigh. He didn’t need to say the words for his friend to understand. “Want to come by the studio this week?”

And, of course, Namjoon always knew how to deal with him. “That’d be nice.”

“Great,” Namjoon said. “Come by on Friday if you feel like it, yeah? I’m working on a new track. I think you’ll like it.”

“Thanks, Joon. Sorry for bothering you so much.”

He heard the sound of Namjoon’s breathy chuckle coming through the phone, as the man dismissed his apology, and Yoongi couldn’t help but smile as well. He and Namjoon went a long way, and he could always count on his friend to cheer him up.

“Nothing new at work? How’s that new guy doing?”

“Actually,” Yoongi felt his hands shaking a bit, and he fixed his posture on the chair, as if Namjoon could see him. “A friend of his, I guess, came by today,”

“Yeah?” Namjoon sounded genuinely interested in hearing more, if only to keep talking and placating Yoongi’s mood.

“Yeah. They seemed…” Yoongi didn’t know how to choose his words. “Close?”

Namjoon hummed. “Close how?”

“I don’t know, just… very close, I guess.”

“Okay,” He heard Namjoon chuckle. “So, was this friend of his cute, by any means?”

Yoongi choked on his own spit. “I– what?”

“Was the friend cute? You seem to have noticed them, so I just assumed…” Namjoon trailed off.

“No, I mean, yeah, I guess he was cute?” Yoongi tried to sound nonchalant, failing miserably. “Yeah, you know, objectively speaking he was pretty cute. I, uh, I guess.”

“You’re terrible at hiding your feelings, hyung.” Namjoon was laughing at him. Great.

“I’m not hiding anything, though?” He huffed.

“Sure…”

“I just noticed they were close.” Yoongi mumbled, resuming his mindless tapping on the keyboard keys.

“What else did you notice about the new guy’s cute friend?” Namjoon was still laughing.

Yoongi sighed.

“He was wearing a cute green beanie…” He let out, reluctantly. “And he had a metal straw.”

Namjoon made a confused, sort of laughing sound. “A metal straw?”

“Yeah. Those reusable steel straws some people carry around? So you won’t use the plastic ones all the time.” Yoongi explained, remembering how the boy had cleaned the straw after finishing his drink. 

Namjoon hummed. “That’s cool.” And after a timid affirmative hum coming from Yoongi, he added: “Cute, and worried about the environment, sounds like a catch.”

At that, Yoongi snorted. “Shut up,”

Namjoon was laughing, and Yoongi was actually feeling more at ease, even though he was being teased by the younger. Namjoon was always making him feel better, and he was really grateful for it.

But all of that quickly vanished as soon as he heard the knocks on his door and the voice coming from the other side.

“Noona, dinner’s ready!” His younger brother called.

Yoongi didn’t answer, and instead he groaned, for a moment forgetting he was still on the phone.

“Was that Changbin?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi answered, holding back a sigh. “I should go. Dinner’s ready.”

Namjoon released a sigh of his own. “Good luck, hyung.”

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”

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The rest of the week flew by quickly. Work was the same, Kim Taehyung managed to make him and Mina laugh in between customers ordering, Yoongi spent his breaks listening to music in the backroom and their cheesecake was still a bestseller. 

No sign of metal-straw boy.

Not that Yoongi was looking forward to his appearance after that first time; but he couldn’t help but notice that the man didn’t show up the next day, nor the next… Things just rolled out as usual and Yoongi figured he wouldn’t be seeing Kim Taehyung’s friend again any time soon.

And then Friday came.

Yoongi wasn’t prepared for it — after three days of not seeing metal-straw-boy walking through the double doors, he just stopped expecting him. He assumed the man had just come by to check on his friend during Kim Taehyung’s first day.

But then he heard the familiar ring of the doorbell, and his eyes fell on that dark green beanie.

Taehyung’s friend walked inside the coffee shop in a big brown sweatshirt, paired with some jeans and the same dark green beanie covering his brown hair. The man came straight to the cashier — something he hadn’t done last time, probably asking Taehyung for his order beforehand.

Yoongi felt his hands clamming up.

“Hello,” Metal-straw guy greeted, to which Yoongi only blinked dumbly, before managing to put his customer-friendly face on.

“Hello, welcome to Siso Cafe,” He recited, while opening a new order tab and easily  avoiding eye-contact. “What can I get you?”

The man hummed, reaching inside his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.

“I’ll have a vanilla latte, extra cream,” He began listing, while going through his wallet. “Don’t need a straw,” He added, and then hummed some more, before looking up and smiling. “Also, a slice of cheesecake, please.”

Yoongi nodded, letting out a small “sure”, while typing in the man’s order. “Your name?” He asked, still staring at the screen.

“Jimin.” Metal-straw guy said, and Yoongi typed it in so Mina could call out the order later.

Jimin.

Yoongi told him his total, giving back his change after Jimin handed him the money, not letting his thoughts linger on the faint, quick brush of their hands.

“Thank you,” Jimin said, before walking away from the counter, after Yoongi let him know that his name would be called when his order was ready.

Yoongi then watched as the man took a seat at the same table from last time, right in front of the cashier, and pulled out his phone.

Jimin looked around a couple times — most likely searching for his friend —, but otherwise he kept scrolling on his phone while he waited.

Yoongi went back to his work, and when Jimin’s name was called, he only managed a quick glance at the man as he neared the counter to pick up his order. After swiftly tending to the customer in front of him, Yoongi watched as Jimin — already back on his table — took the same small clothed pouch from last time out of his carrier bag, pulling out his metal straw and placing it on the drink; the smoothness of the action showing how natural it was for him.

It was as Jimin was taking his first sip that his name was called again, this time in a very different manner.

“Jiminie!” Taehyung, who had been doing some work in the storage room for the past hour, greeted his friend from behind the counter, after coming out through the back door.

Jimin, who was sipping on his coffee, gave him a little wave, smiling with the straw still between his lips.

“I’m sorry I can’t sit with you right now, my break isn’t until later,” Taehyung said, clearly pouting, as he tied back his apron. He sidestepped the counter and walked towards his friend’s table.

“It’s fine, TaeTae,” Jimin said, giving him a small smile, and Yoongi couldn’t help but pay close attention to the exchange. “I have some homework that I need to finish, anyway.”

Taehyung sighed, resting a hand on Jimin’s hair and giving it a pet. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later then, yeah?”

Jimin gave him a bigger smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yeah, sure.” 

Yoongi felt something twirl inside his stomach, as he watched the smile coloring Jimin’s face. 

Taehyung left his friend with another quick pat on his hair, 

He didn’t know what to do with that feeling so he just stopped staring at the man and decided to reorganize the cashier while keeping an eye for any new customers.

Trying to distract himself during the remainder of his shift, he didn’t even notice when the metal-straw boy left.

It was close to 7 p.m. when Yoongi stripped down of his uniform, putting on his hoodie and sweatpants, gathering his stuff before leaving for the day. He didn’t have any classes that night, and that gave him time to go see Namjoon like they had planned. He catched the bus to the station closest to Namjoon’s studio, hopping off and walking the rest of the way.

Namjoon’s studio was a small rented room at a building close to their university. The younger worked as a music engineer and producer, and was also an assistant professor at their school, while riding his senior year as a Music and Creative Writing student. Yoongi admired his childhood friend a lot. Namjoon was so smart he skipped two years of high school, and now was about to graduate college with an assistant professor position guaranteed. Not to mention his job as a producer, that sometimes would give him enough money to pay bills.

If Yoongi was an envious person, he’d certainly be jealous of everything his friend had accomplished throughout the years, while still being a year younger than him. But, truthfully, Yoongi could only feel pride. He was proud of Namjoon and the hard work the man always put into his craft. Yoongi himself had his fair share of experience as a newbie producer, so he knew how hard the younger had to work for each and every job, to assure the quality of his product. They would usually talk a lot about music in general, but Namjoon also shared a lot about whatever project he had in hands at the given moment. They both enjoyed discussing the ins and outs of production, as well as the creative process behind it. And, besides all the knowledge trade and fun discussions they had, Yoongi just loved getting to watch his friend work.

And that’s what they did that Friday night. Namjoon was working on a new track for a client and he showed Yoongi how it was coming together, and then Yoongi just watched as he processed vocals and drums, making stray comments here and there. Namjoon also played a few of his own songs and they discussed the arranging and the composition processes. They talked about similar topics for a couple hours, sharing past experiences with music and new ideas that would come up along the way. Yoongi had always been comfortable sharing his ideas with Namjoon, ever since they were little. He would always come to the younger with his old piano pieces, playing them to him and sipping on the genuine interest Namjoon would show. And now, if he had a new beat or some lyrics written, he’d ask him his opinion on it, much like he did when they were younger.

Namjoon was also there when he needed him most. During difficult times, when his family wouldn’t support him and he didn’t have many friends, Namjoon had been by his side. When he started to doubt everything, when he finally accepted himself and decided to be who he was always meant to be, when everyone else around him didn’t understand, Namjoon stayed by his side. He helped Yoongi go through the hardest periods of his life, and watched closely as the older grew within himself. He was the one to take Yoongi shopping alone for the first time, encouraging him when his parents wouldn’t let him shop in the men’s section. Namjoon would even lend him clothes in the beginning, before Yoongi had any money to buy his own.

Yoongi was extremely grateful for having Namjoon by his side all these years. Their friendship was something Yoongi cherished tremendously, and he did his best to show Namjoon just that — even if it wasn’t the easiest thing for him, to show affection the same way most people would.

“So, how was work today?” Namjoon asked, leaning back onto his desk chair.

They were both sitting in the studio, taking a break after the first hour and a half of working on one of Namjoon’s mixes.

“Alright, I guess.” Yoongi said, playing with the edge of his nails. He wasn’t sure he wanted to share more, knowing very well that his friend would tease the hell out of him, but he couldn’t keep to himself this time, so he added: “Taehyung’s friend showed up again.”

“Yeah?” Namjoon fixed his posture on the chair at that. “Did you talk to him?”

“No,” Yoongi let out, way too quickly. “I mean— yeah,” He fumbled, trying to back track, and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling embarrassed. “I got his order.” He mumbled.

“Hmm,” Namjoon hummed, and Yoongi could hear the smirk growing on his friend’s face. “So, no flirting?”

Yoongi snorted, looking away.

“Why would I flirt with him?” He let out, trying to sound nonchalant while hiding his warming face. He knew he was blushing, and he hated it.

Namjoon just shrugged. “You said he was cute.”

“No, you said he was cute,” Yoongi argued, still not looking at his friend.

“And you agreed.” Namjoon countered, eyebrows raised.

Yoongi groaned, letting his head hang to the side and rolling his eyes. Namjoon just chuckled, finding humor in his embarrassment.

“Did you at least get his name?”

Yoongi brushed back some strands of hair that were falling on his face, leaning back on the couch he’d been occupying since he got to the studio. After letting out a long sigh, he finally looked at Namjoon, seeing the fond smile taking on his friend’s face. They stared at each other for a moment, before Yoongi relented.

“Jimin.” He let the name fall out of his lips. “His name’s Jimin.”

Namjoon’s smile turned into a grin. “That’s a start.”

At his friend’s smug face, Yoongi just huffed. “I’m not gonna flirt with him, Joon.”

Namjoon chuckled, shrugging with both shoulders and throwing him another, slightly more contained, grin. “We’ll see.”

From then on, the metal-straw-boy — Jimin — would come by almost everyday. He’d usually sit at the same table and just study, talking  to Taehyung from time to time and whenever the other had his break. 

Yoongi would try to focus on his work, but he couldn’t help but glance at the man’s way from time to time.

Today he was sitting alone, with a couple books and notes opened on top of the table. He was wearing his usual dark green beanie and sipping on his latte with his metal straw.

Yoongi was getting used to getting the other man’s order without making a fool out of himself. Today he even managed to ask Jimin how he was doing! To which the latter answered with a small “Good” and a smile. Yoongi tried not to stare at his beautiful smile for too long.

Now, he was just watching Jimin studying, when there weren't any orders to take.

“Hyung,” A voice called from the other side of the counter.

Yoongi looked away quickly, so Taehyung wouldn’t notice he was staring at his friend.

He nodded, to show that he was listening.

“I’m taking my break now, okay?” Taehyung said, putting away the rag he was using to wipe the tables.

“Okay. Just let Mina know, yeah? She’s supposed to take her break after yours”

“Sure.”

Yoongi watched as Taehyung did what was pretty much his routine now — go to the backroom, grab his lunchbox, then come sit at Jimin’s table. And there it was again, that energy. The energy that made Yoongi think that maybe they were more than friends. They would talk and laugh as if they were the only ones in the room, exchanging knowing looks and soft smiles.

And still, all this time that Jimin had been visiting their café, Yoongi had yet to see the two of them do anything more than hug — which was usual for close friends. Of course, kissing in public wasn’t the most accepted thing where they lived, so they could just be being respectful. He’d never know unless he actually asked. But he couldn’t imagine asking something like that to Taehyung, even if the younger was a chatterbox, they still weren’t that close — at least in Yoongi’s mind. So he was left to speculate.

Today, however, he was in for a wild ride.

As soon as the customer that was currently ordering left the cashier, Taehyung’s voice cut through all the white noise.

“Yoongi-hyung!” He called from his place on the table. Yoongi looked ahead in time to see Jimin sliding down on his chair, looking away, while Taehyung waved in his direction, calling him with his hand. Yoongi only nodded, coming closer to Mina and leaving his position.

“Can you watch the cashier for a second? Taehyung is calling me”

“Sure,” Mina answered, swiftly taking his place and watching out for any new customers.

Yoongi then contoured the counter, walking slowly towards the table where Taehyung and his friend were seated. He had both of his hands inside his apron’s pockets, trying hard not to give away how nervous he was.

“Thanks for coming, hyung.” Taehyung said as soon as Yoongi reached them at the table.

“No problem, do you need anything?”

“Yeah, sure” Taehyung hummed, then gave him one of his bright big smiles. “But first, here’s Park Jimin, my best friend, I don’t think I’ve introduced you two properly”

“You haven’t” Yoongi said, feeling his heart beating miles a minute.

“Well, this is Jimin. And, Jimin, this is Yoongi-hyung, my coworker and the cute cashier ” He finished in a whisper, but Yoongi could clearly hear him. He felt his cheeks warming up in an instant.

“Taehyung!” Jimin said through his teeth.

“Okay! So now that you know each other, could you please bring Jimin another vanilla latte, hyung? Extra cream and no—”

“No straw.” Yoongi added, trying his best to smile like a normal person and not show his nervousness.

“Yeah,” Taehyung said, with a knowing smile. “Thanks, hyung”

“No problem.” Yoongi said, ready to go back to his place, when that sweet voice made him stop on his tracks.

“Thank you, Yoongi-ssi.” Jimin said, almost in a whisper. Yoongi nodded, seeing the other smiling back at him.

“I’ll be right back with your drink.” He muttered, leaving the two friends alone.

He heard Taehyung chuckling as he was walking towards the counter.

────────

After that day, Taehyung would always make sure to call for Yoongi at some point while Jimin was there. Either to ask him for something or just to chat. He even made Yoongi sit down with them one day, asking the older about his day and trying to make small talk. Of course, Yoongi could only stay with Mina covering for him for a few minutes, but Taehyung would make the most out of those. It almost seemed like he wanted Yoongi and Jimin to talk to each other, but both men were way too timid to start a conversation without Taehyung’s help. So they would let him guide the whole thing.

Today, however, Jimin got to the Cafe a little earlier than usual. Yoongi was having his break in just a few minutes when the other man arrived. And, of course, Taehyung already had the perfect suggestion on the tip of his tongue.

“Why don’t you spend your break with Jiminie, hyung?” He said, from where he was wiping down the counter. “You’re always alone in the backroom and I’m sure he could use the company.”

“I…”

“C’mon, I’m gonna tell him you’re spending your break with him, yeah?” Without even waiting for Yoongi to respond, Taehyung made his way to his friend.

Yoongi went quickly to the backroom to gather his lunch, while trying to compose himself and not freak out. It’s just twenty minutes. You can do this.

When he left the backroom, he saw Taehyung still leaning on Jimin’s table, talking to him. Yoongi didn’t know if he should approach them or just pretend he didn’t hear Taehyung’s suggestion and get back inside the backroom. His hands were trembling.

Taehyung saw him before he could make up his mind.

“Yoongi-hyung!” He called.

Yoongi walked slowly towards them, still thinking about apologizing and then hiding.

Taehyung put both of his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders when he got close enough to the table. He had one of those big smiles on his face and was dragging Yoongi closer to one of the chairs.

At first, Yoongi was too busy trying to hide his own awkwardness to notice, but as soon as Taehyung sat him down on the chair, and he looked towards Jimin, he realized how red the other was.

He’s blushing, oh god.

“I don’t wanna intrude,” Yoongi managed to say.

“You’re not intruding, hyung!” Taehyung’s response didn’t do anything for him, and it must have shown on his face because as soon as Taehyung left them alone, Jimin was saying:

“You’re fine, Yoongi-ssi.” His voice was small, and his cheeks were still pinkish.

Yoongi only nodded.

“I’m sorry for Taehyungie…” Jimin continued, looking at the direction Taehyung had gone. “I know he can be… a bit much.”

“I’m getting used to it,” Yoongi said, releasing an awkward chuckle.

They remained silent for the next few minutes, both of them looking around, running from eye-contact. Yoongi was used to avoiding eye-contact on a daily basis, he wondered if Jimin was the same or if it was just because of their unexpected situation.

“So…” Jimin started, pausing for a second and biting on his bottom lip. “How long have you been working here, Yoongi-ssi?”

“Almost three years”

“Oh, really?” Jimin finally looked up towards him.

“Yeah” Yoongi answered, looking back at Jimin. “It’s mostly been me and Mina, we’re glad Taehyung joined us though.”

“He was very excited to start working, I’ll tell you that.” Jimin smiled and Yoongi catched himself staring at the other’s pretty lips.

It was inevitable that the silence came back. They were basically two strangers forced to interact by an eager friend — not that they were against interacting to begin with, but probably would’ve taken them a little bit longer to initiate anything…

“Do you…” Jimin started, after a few more minutes of silence. “Do you do anything besides working here?”

Yoongi really admired the effort Jimin was making. He couldn’t start a conversation with strangers for anything. Talking to a friend, like Namjoon, was totally different from talking to a new person. Once he felt comfortable, he could speak of any topic, but in situations like these, he just… froze.

So he was glad Jimin was taking the initiative for them.

“I’m in my last year of college,” He answered, watching Jimin nod his head in understandment.

“What’s your major?”

“Music.”

“Oh wow,” Jimin gave him one of those bright smiles he had only seen directed at Taehyung. “That’s so cool, Yoongi-ssi. Do you want to be a musician?”

Yoongi smiled back.

“I want to be a producer.”

Jimin’s smile was so bright.

“That’s amazing!”

They were both smiling like fools.

Yoongi looked down, then, a bit embarrassed, and ended up noticing that Jimin had a thick book and what looked like handwritten notes spread on the table.

“What about you?” He asked, pointing towards the many papers scattered around.

“Oh,” Jimin looked down at his certainly organized mess. “I’m studying Physics.”

Yoongi couldn’t hide his surprise and that made Jimin let out a full-on laugh. Yoongi was probably grimacing too, on top of his raised eyebrows, and that made the younger cackle.

“With a minor in dance, actually,” Yoongi’s eyebrows couldn’t possibly go any higher, and Jimin was certainly amused. “An unusual combination, I know.” Jimin joked, light-hearted.

“Yeah,” Yoongi chuckled, after getting over his surprise. Jimin didn’t seem like the type to study something so… complicated? Nerdy? But, in the end, what was “the type” anyway? Still, Yoongi told the other man the truth. “I can see you as a dancer, but Physics…”

Jimin huffed, shaking his head.

“I know,” He said, laughing some more. “Most people have this reaction when I tell them.”

“I can see that happening,” Yoongi let out a chuckle, and right then and there, he realized that the awkwardness was slowly fading away.

They talked some more about their majors and what else they would like to study before being done with college. Jimin shared that he always wanted to be a dancer when he was little, but as he grew older he fell in love with the world of Physics. Fell in love enough to want to pursue a career in it. Yoongi told him about having a producer friend — Namjoon — and that he wanted to try following that path as well, even if his family wanted him to pursue a classical route, as a pianist.

“You play the piano?” Jimin asked, completely engaged in the conversation, a smile never leaving his lips.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nodded, feeling shy. “Since I was four, actually.” He chuckled, nervously.

“Wow,” Jimin let out, eyes wide. “You must be really good, then. I’d love to see you play, Yoongi-ssi.”

Those words made Yoongi feel warm. And that smile… Yoongi was a goner.

Maybe one day I’ll show you.

But as all good things eventually come to an end, soon enough Yoongi heard Mina calling his name from behind the counter.

His break was over.

He gathered the remains of his lunch — which he barely touched, too caught up in their conversation — and got up. He didn’t know what else to say, as usual, so he was glad when Jimin took the initiative again.

“Thank you for the company, Yoongi-ssi.”

Jimin had a small smile on his face, and he was looking directly at Yoongi.

How can someone be so pretty?

Yoongi could feel his heartbeat picking up.

“Anytime.”

Pretty eyes.

Yoongi glanced at him one more time before walking away.

Pretty lips.

He heard Taehyung chuckling somewhere behind the counter.

Pretty smile.

“So, how was the break?”

Yoongi didn’t listen, still high on the whole thing. On Jimin’s laugh.

Pretty laugh.

“Uh, hyung?”

Pretty.

────────

That night, Yoongi sat down in front of his laptop and worked on a song.

It had been a while since the last time he had time to actually work on his music. Between working and having night classes, he had little to no time at all to work on his own craft. But that night, he made some time. After finishing his online class for the day, he opened FL Studio on his laptop and started brainstorming. So many ideas were swirling around his mind. He had a notebook with him to write down lyrics, and he was already two pages down.

It was a good night.

He didn’t even have dinner with his family, since he got home pretty late. So he ate on his own and that was everything he could ask for.

No dinner with his family and a creative night, all after having the best day possible at work.

Yoongi was beaming.

But as he laid his head on the pillow, clock striking 3 a.m., all he could think was:

Will he be there tomorrow?

He wasn’t.

Yoongi had his break, then Mina and then Taehyung, but Jimin didn’t show up.

Yoongi thought about asking Taehyung about it, but wouldn’t he sound a bit desperate? It was normal for Jimin not to come some days, after all. He probably just had afternoon classes.

Still, Yoongi sulked just a tiny bit.

The next day, Jimin wasn’t there again.

Yoongi kept staring as other customers sat down on Jimin’s table throughout the day, but no Jimin in sight. Only people with regular plastic straws.

He must not have been very subtle about his staring, because as soon as it was time for Taehyung’s break, the taller man approached him.

“He’s not coming,” Taehyung said, biting on a sandwich. “Sorry, hyung.”

“What do you mean, sorry?”

Taehyung only shrugged, giving him a smirk and a side glance.

“Just don’t wait for him, yeah?” Taehyung gave him a pat in the back.

“Is everything okay?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” Taehyung went for another bite from his sandwich, trying to smile encouragingly even with his mouth full.

Yoongi only nodded, feeling a bit dejected.

Jimin came back after six days of radio silence.

Yoongi wasn’t even waiting anymore, when he caught sight of that dark green beanie, paired with a white hoodie and light-blue jeans. He couldn’t believe it until Jimin reached him at the cashier.

“Hi.”

Yoongi didn’t register the small voice at first, staring unblinking at the man.

“Hey,” He managed to answer after three long seconds.

“Can I have a vanilla latte?” Jimin was smiling while asking. He was smiling as if he hadn’t been away for six entire days, leaving Yoongi wondering if something bad had happened to him. He was smiling like every other time he asked that same question. And Yoongi was ready for what came next. “Extra cream and no straw.”

“Anything else?” Yoongi asked, feeling something start to twirl inside him.

“Have you had your break yet?”

Yoongi blinked. “What?”

He stared at Jimin, who now had a sheepish smile on his face.

“Your break,” He supplied, looking down at his fingers. “Have you had your break yet?”

“Oh,” Yoongi felt his heart lose its rhythm for a moment. He wasn’t expecting that. “No, not yet. Probably in a few”

“Oh. Okay,” Jimin brought both of his arms behind him, straightening his back. “You can join me, if you want.”

And then he turned around, walking away to his table.

Yoongi watched as the younger took a seat, hands twiddling on his lap.

You can join me, if you want.

Yoongi did.

Right after tending to Jimin, a few more customers made their orders, and then Yoongi was having his break. He went quickly to the backroom to get his lunch, before making his way to Jimin’s table.

Behind the counter, a very giddy Taehyung watched as he walked away.

As Yoongi sat down on the table, he noticed Jimin didn’t have any notes or books in front of him, only his drink — from which he was sipping with his metal straw.

“Not studying today?”

Jimin looked up and just shook his head at the question. “How’s work?”

Yoongi didn’t fail to notice the quick change of topic, but he decided not to mention it.

“Good,” He replied, while opening his lunchbox. “The flow isn’t that heavy today.”

Jimin hummed. He seemed distracted, eyes not focusing on Yoongi.

“Did you come to see Taehyung?” He chose to ask.

He could see the moment the question registered with the younger.

“What?” Jimin let out, looking up from where he was staring inside the coffee cup.

“Did you come to see Taehyung? Since you’re not studying today.” Yoongi supplied.

Jimin shrugged, bringing up his cup and giving it a shake. “Just came for the caffeine.”

“I see.”

A moment passed, and then Yoongi heard the other taking a breath in.

“I like it here,” Jimin said, with finality. “It’s nice.”

Yoongi hummed, in agreement.

The next few minutes were spent in silence, but not as awkward as the first time they spent together. It was just… different. Before Yoongi started wondering why Jimin was acting strange, though, the younger asked him about his music. And just like that, they engaged in another conversation. They didn’t mention Jimin’s studies again, or why he hadn’t come to the shop for the past six days.

Yoongi talked about the process of making music and how he liked to work. He also mentioned Namjoon again, and how the younger had helped him a lot with knowing the ins and outs of music production. Jimin then went on to tell him how he and Taehyung met — at college, when they were both freshmen. It was an engaging story, and Yoongi found himself laughing at Jimin’s punchlines. 

Once again, they talked until Yoongi’s break was over and Mina was calling for him. This time, Taehyung actually had to come up to them to call him, though, since he was so involved in the conversation that he didn’t hear Mina calling him the first time.

Taehyung had, once more, a knowing smile curving his lips.

“You two can continue tomorrow, don’t worry!” He said, patting Yoongi on the back.

Did that mean Jimin was coming tomorrow?

After six days of silence, Yoongi didn’t know what to expect.

But Jimin came. In fact, he showed up everyday following that afternoon.

Now, instead of coming for Taehyung’s break, Jimin would be waiting for Yoongi, and they would talk the whole twenty minutes until one of Yoongi’s colleagues had to call him.

They talked about music, about college and about their friends. Nothing too personal, but they were already past small-talking. Yoongi would laugh and indulge Jimin when the other talked about his passion for Astrophysics and the universe; always curious to know more, to see more of Jimin’s enthusiasm, to hear more of his pretty voice.

It came to a point that Yoongi’s whole morning was spent waiting for the afternoon to arrive. Waiting to see that dark green beanie coming through the door. Waiting to see Jimin’s beautiful smile.

One evening, though, that smile was replaced by a frown.

Yoongi hadn’t even seen the other man enter the shop, busy tending to customers. He only noticed Jimin once he was already in front of him, ready to make his order.

“The usual?” Yoongi asked, with a smile.

He felt it shrinking itself as he saw Jimin’s closed off expression.

“Make it strong, please.” Even his voice was smaller than usual, and that worried Yoongi on the spot.

“Wait for me, yeah?” He said, placing Jimin’s order. “I’ll take my break in a second.”

Jimin only nodded, walking away towards his table.

Yoongi was fast in placing Jimin’s order and notifying Mina that he was going to take his break. In no time he was already walking towards Jimin’s table, where the other had already gotten his drink and put his metal straw inside.

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted again, taking a seat.

Jimin nodded at him, sipping from his latte.

“Is everything okay?” Yoongi couldn’t help but ask. Jimin’s whole demeanor was different from the other days he had come to the shop.

Jimin sighed. “Sorry,” He said, looking down. “It’s just… best friend issues.”

Yoongi nodded, trying to remember if he had seen Taehyung sulking that morning, but nothing came to mind. He decided to just ask. “With Taehyung?”

“Oh, no,” Jimin shook his head. “My other best friend, from back home,” Jimin explained, before taking a sip from his drink. “Jungkook, he’s a childhood friend.”

“Oh,” Yoongi hummend. “Did you two get into a fight?”

“Not exactly,” Jimin started to stir with his straw. “It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” Yoongi answered, getting comfortable on the chair and opening his lunchbox.

Jimin smiled at him. A small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“Basically, me and Jungkook go way back,” Jimin sighed, as he began his story. “Our parents were friends and we lived in the same neighborhood, so we went to school together, even though he’s a bit younger than me,” He explained, playing with his fingers on top of the table. “We’re very close, as one can assume, since we’ve been friends for so long. He’s one of the most important people in my life.”

Yoongi nodded, relating to that feeling as he thought of his own best friend. He waited for Jimin to continue, and watched as the younger went back to stirring his drink.

“Now, what happened is that my birthday is coming up, and Jungkook was supposed to come to Seoul to spend it with me and Tae. We always make sure to celebrate together, so he usually comes around on my birthday and I go back to Busan for his.” Jimin was moving his hands around as he explained, but his voice remained quiet, and Yoongi could see that whatever happened had genuinely upset him. “I didn’t think it would be any different this year, we even made plans for the week he’d spend here, but the thing is…” He trailed off, before sighing. “His new girlfriend kind of hates me.”

That caught Yoongi off guard.

“What?” He could feel the frown taking over his face. “Why?”

Jimin gave him a sheepish smile, hands fidgeting with his straw.

“Uh… Jungkook wasn’t just my first best friend, you see…” Jimin averted his eyes, before letting out another sigh. “He.. he was also my first boyfriend.”

Oh.

Did that mean…

Jimin liked boys?

“We were young and… a bit clueless, honestly. We were just horny teenagers who wanted to experience all these new things, and we sort of got ahead of ourselves. In the end, we realized that what we had was really just an extremely close friendship, and that we didn’t like each other in a romantic way.” Jimin continued, pausing to take a sip out of the coffee he’d been stirring. He still seemed a bit embarrassed, but his hands had settled on the table. “It was just a phase and it didn’t last long, but even though it happened years ago and both of us agree it will never happen again, his current girlfriend still has a problem with it.” Jimin rolled his eyes, most likely in frustration and annoyance, but Yoongi couldn’t help but find him cute. “I honestly don’t get it. It shouldn’t be an issue! Me and Jungkook weren’t in love then, and we definitely aren’t now, so why does it even matter?”

Jimin huffed, falling back on his chair. His lips were half-way into a pout.

Yoongi only listened, while eating his lunch. It was the first time Jimin and him were talking about something so personal, and he didn’t want to interrupt. He also finally had the confirmation that Jimin did like boys… His heart might have leaped a little.

“So his dumb girlfriend said she doesn’t want him to sleep alone with me in my apartment!” Jimin huffed, seeming tired of the whole ordeal. “He doesn’t have money to go to a hotel and Tae can’t house him because of his roommate, so now Jungkook isn’t coming! Just because of his stupid ass girlfriend!”

Yoongi widened his eyes. It was his first time hearing Jimin cursing. The younger was clearly aggravated.

“I just don’t understand why he would listen to her and not come, you know? If it was me, I wouldn't let any boyfriend of mine stop me from seeing my friends.”

“You shouldn’t.” Yoongi agreed. These types of relationships where mistrust was always lurking usually didn’t end well.

“I know, right?!” Jimin sighed again, audibly. “But, anyway, now I won’t have him here on my birthday, and it was tradition for us to visit on each other’s birthdays.”

“I can definitely see why you’d be angry.”

“I’m not even that angry… I’m more, I don’t know, disappointed?” Jimin took a last sip of his coffee, before putting the cup aside.

“Understandable.”

“Ugh,” Jimin grabbed a few paper napkins from the holder, before pulling out his metal straw from the cup and starting to dry it, carefully. “Just thinking about not seeing him for… I don’t even know how long, makes me sad, you know? I’m not planning on going to Busan any time soon, and now he can’t come here because of his moron girlfriend…”

Yoongi couldn’t hold back his chuckle at Jimin’s last words, the sound escaping him. That made the younger laugh as well, and the atmosphere slowly felt lighter. They laughed together for a while, and Yoongi was glad Jimin seemed to feel at least a little bit better than when he walked in earlier.

“I’m really sorry about your friend, Jimin.” He ended up saying, once they became silent.

Jimin tried to give him a reassuring smile, and that was enough to ease most of Yoongi’s worries. He didn’t like seeing Jimin so dejected.

“Do you want another latte? On the house.” He blurted out, without really knowing what came over him. Yoongi just knew he wanted to see Jimin smiling again.

“Can you do that?”

“Sure.” He would have to pay for it later, but Jimin didn’t need to know that.

“Thank you, hyung.” Jimin let out, easily.

And Yoongi stopped right on his tracks. He was just about to get up, but halted midway.

Did Jimin just…

“Yoongi-ssi?”

Did he just say…

“I’m sorry,” Jimin seemed to realize what had made Yoongi stop. “Sorry I didn’t ask beforehand,” He looked worried, probably because Yoongi was motionless, staring right at him. “Should I not call you that?”

“I—” Yoongi couldn’t even speak like a normal person, for fucks sake. “You can,” He managed to let out, fighting back the impulse to follow it up with a “please” .

“Are you sure?” Jimin asked, still looking him in the eye, searching for any sign that Yoongi was lying.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Jimin said, nodding.

Yoongi finally got up from his chair, awkwardly stepping in place. “I’ll go get your drink now.”

For Yoongi, having people calling him hyung was a big deal. It was almost special, in a way. Being born in what, most of the time, felt like the wrong body, always made him feel insecure about his identity. And every time he heard the wrong title being used to address him made his heart hurt a bit more each time. Hearing the right word leaving Jimin’s lips made him happy. So happy. It made his entire fucking day. He came back to the table with Jimin’s drink and they talked some more, until Yoongi’s break was over and Mina was calling him. But even still, Yoongi couldn’t hide the permanent smile that hearing that word had plastered on his face. Jimin had no idea the happiness he had caused with just that single word. And he said it again, when saying goodbye to Yoongi, and the older man sure melted a bit more.

He went home feeling extremely giddy that day.

────────

Dinner with his family, most times, was a very unpleasant experience.

Yoongi would sit there and not speak unless spoken to, and even then, he usually tried not to answer if his parents called him by the wrong name — which would happen 99.9% of the time.

Not even his younger brother tried, certainly afraid of what his parents would say.

So, you can imagine that dinner with these people wouldn’t be the most comfortable situation for Yoongi to be in.

Still, everything that was bad could get worse.

“How’s work today, honey?” His mother asked, sitting beside his father.

Since his father had already shared his day with the table, Yoongi reckoned he was being spoken to.

“Fine,” He chose to answer, picking at his food.

“Anything new?” His mother continued, always the one trying to make conversation.

“Not really.”

The table went silent. It was probably just a few seconds, but to Yoongi it seemed like hours. The tension always lying underneath was excruciating.

“What about you, Changbinie? Anything new at school?”

“Exams are coming up.” His brother supplied, looking up to their parents.

“You gotta study hard, son.” The low tone used by the man made Yoongi shiver in his chair.

Son.

“Yes, father.” Changbin answered, promptly.

What Yoongi wouldn’t give to be called that.

They ate in silence for a few moments, only the sound of cutlery filling the space.

Until Min Sunhee decided to take this already bad experience and worsen it a thousand percent.

“Well,” She started, looking down at her salad and not even glancing at Yoongi's way — which didn’t do anything to warn him of what was to come. “I was talking to the neighbors this morning, and Hani-unnie came to me for advice.”

His father hummed, visibility uninterested but willing to entertain his wife.

“Her son is going through… How can I put this… some difficult times,” She continued, not fazed by the table’s general lack of interest. “Hanni-unnie told me she caught him wearing makeup and one of her dresses the other night,” She whispered, as if speaking of something that was completely inappropriate.

Yoongi tensed.

Everything bad could always get worse.

“The little boy’s just 14 and she was scared of… you know, him having the same problem our Yubin has,” She kept going, not caring for Yoongi’s deadly stare thrown in her direction.

“Mom,” Changbin tried to de-escalate. The younger was definitely not one for defending Yoongi or who he was, but Changbin didn’t like conflicts — and he could probably sense one coming right their way.

“Well,” His father let out, flatly. “That’s likely just a phase, he’ll grow out of it eventually.”

“That’s what I told her!” Sunhee continued. “But, you know, she was worrying because our Yubin—”

“Stop calling me that.”

The table went silent.

Yoongi was still looking down, but he could feel the tension rising along with those judgemental stares.

“Min Yubin, watch how you speak with your mother.” Daehyun scolded, tone leaving no space for arguments.

But Yoongi was done.

“Stop calling me that,” He repeated, now looking straight at his father. “That’s not my name.”

A beat.

“That’s the name your mother and I gave you. Now finish your food and stop talking nonsense.” Daehyun grunted, not even sparing Yoongi a glance.

“Well, it’s not in any of my legal documents anymore, father. ”

Yoongi could see the moment annoyance took over Min Daehyun’s face, mouth turning downwards and jaw clenching.

“A foolish decision you’ll certainly regret when this ridiculous phase is over—”

“It’s not a fucking phase.” Yoongi gritted through his teeth, clenching his fists under the table. 

“Watch your mouth, child!” His father laid down his chopsticks, finally reciprocating Yoongi’s stare. “It is just a phase. That boy will grow out of it, and so will you.”

“Grow out of it?” He didn’t even notice he had risen from his chair, until he saw his mother’s eyes widening. “I’m 24, for fucks sake!“

His mother gasped.

“Language!” His father snapped, and he saw the worry wash over his mother’s eyes in an instant.

“Sit down, Yubin-ah—” Sunhee tried.

“That’s not my fucking name!”

Yoongi could feel all of his muscles tensing. His heart was palpitating. Changbin was looking at him like he was crazy.

“Sit down, Min Yubin, now. ” His father demanded.

But Yoongi was tired. So fucking tired.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” He said, backing away from the table and leaving his mess of a family behind.

As soon as he heard the three soft knocks on his door, he knew it could only be one person.

“Come in.” He let out, from his place on the bed.

Changbin opened the door and looked inside the room, searching with his eyes until they fell on Yoongi, laying in bed.

“Noona,” He started, coming in and closing the door behind him. Yoongi tried not to show his distaste, knowing that it wasn’t his brother’s intention to hurt him — even if he did.

Yoongi motioned his head, signaling that the younger could sit down with him.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin said, looking down at the ground, sitting on the foot of the bed.

“What for?” Yoongi asked, watching his 16 year-old brother twiddling his thumbs.

“Mom and dad,” But not you?

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t .

Changbin seemed to breathe in deeply before he continued. “I know you’re not happy with us, noona,” He didn’t even seem to notice how that one word alone hurt Yoongi tremendously. “I don’t know why… but maybe dad’s right? Things might get better, somehow? You might get better…” He had no idea what he was saying and even if Yoongi knew that, it still hurt. “Maybe it is just a phase after all?”

“Changbin,” He couldn’t take anymore of it today. He was exhausted. “Please.”

“‘m sorry,” The younger said, getting up from his spot.

Yoongi watched the teen walk out of the room in silence. He’s young, he’d think to himself. I can’t blame him for not understanding.

But couldn’t he? Was sixteen years-old really that young? Could his brother not think for himself already?

He’s young, he’d keep repeating to himself. So as to not end up hating one more member of his messed up family.

────────

“I swear it makes sense! I’m just not explaining it well…” Jimin was currently sitting on his usual table, with his usual drink and a half eaten cheesecake slice on the side.

Yoongi couldn’t take his eyes off Jimin’s beautiful smile, even when the other was in the middle of explaining a vastly complex subject to him.

“So you’re telling me,” Yoongi started, watching Jimin sigh and sip on his coffee. “That the cat is neither dead or alive, but both?”

“Yes!”

“But he must be dead or alive, we just don’t know it.” Yoongi tried to argue. Jimin was currently trying to explain to him one of the many principles and theories he liked to collect about Physics and other science stuff.

“That’s exactly the point!” Jimin said, widening his eyes, almost comically. “We don’t know if the cat is dead or alive until we open the box, therefore we can’t determine its state until we do open it, right? So, Copenhagen said the fate of the cat is only determined when an observation takes place!”

“Which means…?” Yoongi might not understand half of what Jimin was saying, but he would never stop indulging him. Not when Jimin looked so excited talking about all this complicated stuff.

“Which means… that Schrödinger's cat is both alive and dead until someone actually opens the box and sees it!”

“That literally makes no sense.”

Jimin’s lips formed a pout. “Just think about it! If we don’t know the state of the cat until we see it, quantum superposition only ends when someone actually opens the box,” There it was, more complicated words. They were leaving Jimin’s lips like it was nothing, and Yoongi couldn’t help but admire the younger.

“So, this guy, Sho…?”

“Schrödinger,” Was it wrong for Yoongi to find it extremely hot that Jimin knew how to pronounce these hard ass names perfectly?

“Right. So, he didn’t actually try to kill a cat, did he?”

Jimin burst into laughs.

“Oh my god, hyung, no! It was a thought experiment! No cats were harmed, don’t worry.” Jimin was still chuckling and that brought a smile to Yoongi’s face.

“Good. I’d feel bad for the cat.”

Jimin laughed some more, eyes forming beautiful cressents. “Me too.”

And it became routine for Jimin to share these facts and theories with Yoongi, even if the older man didn’t understand them well. He would then share with Jimin how his production was going. They’d talk about college and everyday life. Jimin even started sharing a bit about his family, though Yoongi didn’t do the same. Jimin would come almost everyday, before, after or in between classes, usually at the time when Yoongi would have his break. If for some reason Yoongi couldn’t take his break right away, Taehyung would make him company or Jimin would just study while waiting.

They became somewhat friends. Though Yoongi felt a bit more than just friendship towards the younger. He tried not to let it show too much, in case Jimin became uncomfortable, but sometimes he couldn’t help but think they were… flirting. Even if Yoongi wasn’t exactly the most experienced in terms of flirting, sometimes he could feel this tension in the air, and the way Jimin would smile at him for no reason, some comments here and there. He really hoped he wasn’t just imagining things. There was also the way Taehyung would smirk at them but never interrupt their time together, always staying on the sidelines.

Yoongi really hoped he wasn’t just imagining it.

One time, while they were talking, the subject of their dating lives came up. Yoongi wasn’t the most confident when talking about his love life, especially because it was a mess and he didn’t have many good experiences, but when Jimin brought up the topic when talking about an ex-boyfriend of his, Yoongi realized he didn’t mind sharing his past with Jimin.

They talked about this ex-boyfriend who would always pressure Jimin into spending time with him. Jimin had just started college and was too busy to date, but decided to give it a go anyway. So this dude was a bit younger and still in high school, and he didn’t understand why Jimin had so little time for him. This ended up leading to several arguments between the couple until Jimin decided to break things off.

Yoongi, who had once been in a place similar to Jimin’s ex-boyfriend, shared with him about a girlfriend he had who wouldn’t give him any attention. He never complained, because he thought the girl had a good reason for not seeing him or calling him that much, but she would ignore him a lot. Until one day he decided to talk to her about it and she laughed at him. At the time Yoongi didn’t know that it wasn’t right for her to do that, but now he sees that it just wasn’t. In the end, she broke up with him, even though Yoongi was the one feeling neglected and invalidated. He usually had trouble ending things with people, even if he wasn’t happy, because he didn’t like hurting anybody. That led to him staying inside pretty complicated and even toxic relationships. He learned a lot with his past, especially that he shouldn’t stay unhappy to satisfy someone else.

Jimin also shared with him how it was coming out as gay to his family. He told him that his mother was extremely supportive and he cried a lot when he finally told her. His brother was young, but he understood quickly since his own mother was so supportive. Yoongi, on the other hand, never talked to his family about his sexuality, since he didn’t even have a label for himself. He liked people, and that was basically how he lived his life, while not sharing any dating experiences with his family. He told Jimin that, but didn’t mention anything about him coming out as transgender to his family. He didn’t know if Jimin could tell he was trans or not, but he wasn’t ready to have that conversation just yet.

Although, maybe he’d have to talk about it sooner than he expected.

He definitely wasn’t expecting his— until then, good day — to take that sharp of a turn.

He heard the bell ring one more time that day, but he didn’t pay any attention to it, it happened every once in a while and he was on his break, he wasn’t paying any attention to the customers. But of course he would pay attention when a familiar voice called him that.

“Noona!”

His whole body went cold.

Not here. Not at work.

He could feel his muscles tensing, his heartbeat picking up. 

Not in front of him.

Jimin seemed oblivious, probably not even considering that the person shouting inside the Cafe was talking to Yoongi.

“Noona”

But of course, they’d come closer to the table. The older man knew who it was before even standing up and turning around.

“Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey,” Changbin had his hands on his pockets, eyeing Yoongi’s uniform. “Mom and dad asked me to come tell you that grandma is coming over tonight.”

Great.

“Just grandma?”

“Uncle Daehyun and auntie too”

Fuck.

“Mom said to wear something nice.” You mean ‘dress like a woman’, was what he wanted to say, but held the sour taste in his mouth, not wanting to talk about it in front of Park Jimin.

He huffed bitterly, instead.

“Are they staying the night?”

“No, they’ll stay with auntie this time.” Changbin answered, giving Jimin, who was still sitting down, a side glance.

“‘kay, I need to get back to work, tell them I’ll be there by eight or something”

“Don’t be late, noona, you know how they get at these family dinners”

Yeah, I know.

Changbin then said goodbye, and left through the same door he had come in.

Yoongi felt drained.

Just that interaction had drained him. He tried not to look at Jimin right away, fearing what he might see. Jimin was gay, of course, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t feel disgusted by Yoongi. Or at least confused as to why Changbin had called him that way.

He could’ve corrected his brother one more time, but he probably would go back to calling him the wrong way as soon as his parents were around. He was genuinely tired of correcting all of them. At least Changbin didn’t call him by his old name. Either way, it still hurt to hear the wrong word being directed at him. Especially when they were out in public.

Thankfully, if Jimin noticed it, he didn’t mention anything.

The day couldn’t possibly get worse, it was what Yoongi had thought.

Until he got to the door of his house and remembered the damned family dinner.

You see, having to put up with his parents and his oblivious little brother every day was enough of a headache for Yoongi. He had to listen to them treating him the wrong way and keep quiet most of the time. But when the rest of the family came to visit, it was considerably the worst kind of nightmare.

His grandma didn’t understand why her granddaughter didn’t like to wear pretty dresses or prefered to keep her hair short. Why her precious Yubinie never got herself a suitable boyfriend who would set her straight. At least Yoongi had in his mind that she was way older than him, and it probably was confusing for her. Not that he liked being addressed by his old name and wrong pronouns, but usually his grandma would just make light hearted comments here and there.

His uncle, however, was a little meaner with his remarks.

Yoongi had never met a more bitter person. It was like Yoongi’s life was a personal attack to the man, and he did all he could to make Yoongi uncomfortable on his skin. Making transphobic comments all night or calling Yoongi a freak when his grandma wasn’t around to hear.

His aunt didn’t do much better. She would usually sit around and pretend she wasn’t listening, like Yoongi’s parents usually did.

Yoongi always tried not to make a scene. It was hard to listen to everybody addressing him wrong, even if he had already told all of them that he legally changed his name years ago. That there was no Min Yubin anymore, that they shouldn’t call him that way. His uncle would usually laugh every time Yoongi brought it up, and his parents would stay silent. His grandma would still be confused but wouldn’t call him by his old name for the rest of the night, using honey or sweetheart instead — just to come back another night having forgotten about it.

Yoongi was tired. He was tired of having to explain himself all the time to people that didn’t want to listen. He was tired of living in a place where people constantly misgendered him; where people didn’t even try.

And unfortunately, that night wasn’t any different.

────────

The following days were pretty uneventful, and Yoongi was actually grateful. He would go to work, spend his break with Jimin, chat with Taehyung and Mina when there weren’t customers around, then come back home to study or work on his music. He liked living a simple life, he didn’t need much to feel fulfilled, he just wanted people to respect him.

Tonight, however, he wasn’t working on his music or studying, he was on the phone with Namjoon. The younger one had called Yoongi as soon as he was done with his classes, to tell him about a new Synthesizer he had found. From then on, they kept talking about other topics, until they eventually ended up on Park Jimin.

“When are you planning on asking him out?”

Yoongi huffed, getting more comfortable on the bed, where he was laying down, phone on speaker by his side.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

Namjoon sighed. “Of course not,” Yoongi heard the other man moving on the other end of the line. “You two have been flirting for weeks, hyung, you gotta ask him out eventually.”

They were talking about their days, and Yoongi mentioned how Jimin was dressed to impress earlier that day, and had referred to him as hyungie for the first time. Namjoon had been pestering him about it since then.

“I can’t, Joon” Yoongi sighed.

“Why not?”

“I just— I don’t know how to do this” Yoongi was staring at the ceiling, trying to imagine coming up to Jimin and asking him out.

“You just have to ask if he’d like to go on a date with you, hyung. It’s not that hard, you’ve done it before. You guys have been flirting!”

“I don’t flirt.” Yoongi hummed.

“You sure do, Min Yoongi.” Namjoon chuckled.

The line went silent after that. Yoongi was deep in thought and Namjoon was giving him his time, like he always did.

“Joon…” Yoongi started, after some time. “He doesn’t even know about… you know.”

“About what?”

Yoongi sighed. “That I…” He was having a hard time speaking.

“That you…?” Namjoon tried.

Yoongi took a deep breath, before letting it all out at once.

“He doesn’t know that I’m trans.”

Namjoon went silent. He was probably processing what Yoongi had just said. They kept listening to each other’s breathing, until Namjoon let out a sigh.

“Is that really important?”

Yoongi scoffed, like the answer was obvious.

“Of course it is! He might not want to date me once he finds out, you know there’s people like that,” Yoongi said, voice turning smaller at each word leaving his mouth. “I wouldn’t blame him.”

“Do you really think Jimin would reject you just because you’re trans?”

“I don’t know,” He said, still staring at the white ceiling. “I really don’t”

His conversation with Namjoon left him thinking, more than he already did before.

He had to come out a lot of times during his life, including to his family, Namjoon and past partners. With all the attempts made, he had good and bad experiences. If there was one thing that he learned, it’s that you can never predict how people are going to react.

Coming out to his family was probably the worst experience of them all, but coming out to Namjoon, for example, was harder at the time. Namjoon was the first person to ever know, and it was hard for Yoongi to find the words when it came down to it. He stalled and mumbled his way through, to end up stuttering out that he was a man; that he had always been a man. He always felt lucky because of how Namjoon reacted. He seemed surprised enough, but not shocked, he let Yoongi talk and listened carefully to how Yoongi was feeling. He then asked him how he’d liked to be addressed, if he had picked a name yet, and he ended up helping Yoongi to choose.

Yoongi had a lot of different experiences, from partners telling him they figured it out on their own to his friend from college, Hoseok, who was genuinely shocked when Yoongi told him. He had some really bad experiences, including his family and a few ex-partners, who didn’t accept him or made unnecessary comments about his body, but he also had good experiences like Namjoon and Hoseok.

He had to come out so many times, that he should be used to it by now. But, still, when the possibility of someone you liked changing how they feel about you because of who you are exists, it can be really scary.

Yoongi hadn’t really come out to anyone since his last relationship, more than a year ago. It wasn’t the best coming out experience. His partner was visiting his house for the first time. Yoongi had hoped the house would be empty, Changbin having a soccer match and their parents would be going to support him. Unfortunately, his mother didn’t feel very well and stayed behind. They arrived at the house to her laying down on the couch, in the living room, Yoongi internally cursing as his mother addressed him wrong in front of his partner. So when they finally went upstairs, the question was thrown at him: “why did she call you that?” and he just answered it truthfully. It was an awkward situation, to put it lightly.

But it made him think of something.

Changbin, at the Cafe.

Noona.

Could Jimin possibly know just from that?

It had happened before, Changbin coming to his work looking for him. It usually would be just Mina around, but if she ever heard the boy calling him that, she never mentioned it.

He honestly didn’t know if Mina had any idea, since Changbin would sometimes stop by and address him wrong. He also didn’t present as masculine when he had first started working at the Cafe, and Mina was already an employee. He had just started hormonal therapy back then — even if he already had a “passing” look, it was different from his appearance nowadays. He really had no idea if she knew, taking into account that he never actually mentioned it. Either way, she always addressed him properly.

He was scared, that was the truth. He was scared of what Jimin might think once he found out. He didn’t realize it earlier, but he really liked Jimin. He liked his company, his smile, the way he’d get excited talking about his passion, how kind he was. He really, really liked him. It wasn’t just a little crush anymore, and he was scared to be rejected.

Namjoon had told him to just wait if he wasn’t ready to tell Jimin. He could ask him on a date and tell him later if things went well. Yoongi didn’t want to lie , but Namjoon said that it wasn’t lying. That he didn’t owe anyone anything. But still, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel that he was keeping something crucial for himself.

When Jimin finally arrived that day, he was stunning. Just wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a cardigan, dark green beanie on his head, but Yoongi couldn’t help but stare.

His heart was running miles a minute, his palms were getting sweaty and he questioned himself if it really was a good idea to ask Jimin out. They could keep being friends, that wouldn’t be so bad. But Yoongi wanted more. He wanted to hold Jimin’s pretty hands, wanted to kiss him and tell him how beautiful he was everyday. He wanted to be someone for Jimin, to be by his side when the younger man needed. He wanted to go on dates and treat him right, listen to Jimin talking nonstop.

Shit, he needed to ask him.

He watched as Jimin went straight to the cashier, smile growing with each step he took towards Yoongi. The older man felt his heart speed up even more, when his eyes captured that gorgeous smile getting closer.

Jimin stopped right in front of him.

“Hey, hyung”

Yoongi’s tummy made a little flip at the greeting.

“Hi” He managed to reply.

“The usual, with a cheesecake slice as well, please” Jimin asked, taking out his wallet from his bag.

Yoongi took care of the order while Jimin took his place at his usual table.

After tending to a few more customers, Yoongi notified Taehyung and Mina that he would be having his break.

He could feel his heart beating inside his chest, as he circled the counter and got closer to the table. Jimin had just got his order and was sipping through his little metal straw. Yoongi took a deep breath before approaching the other man.

“So,” Jimin said, quickly licking his lips. “How’s work going?”

“Fine,” Yoongi answered, trying not to focus on that pretty pair of lips. “It was busier in the morning.”

“How’s Taehyungie doing? Giving you and Mina-ssi any problems?” The younger chuckled.

“Nah, he’s great” Yoongi was trying hard to control his nerves. He didn’t want to come off as insecure when he finally popped the question. Still, it was hard when Jimin looked so damn pretty.

Yoongi decided not to ask right away. He let Jimin start one of his cute rents about Physics and indulged the other man as long as he could. Jimin always seemed happy when talking about his passion.

Once his monologue about black holes ended, he took a long sip of his latte, and Yoongi just watched him, trying to control a smile. He really enjoyed hearing Jimin talk, even if he didn’t quite get what an Event Horizon or a Singularity were.

But now, he finally got his chance to ask the question that’s been burning inside of him.

Was he ready?

He couldn’t wait anymore.

“Jimin”

The man raised his gaze from the cheesecake he was currently eating a piece from. “Hm?”

Now or never.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

Shit, why was this so hard?

“Sure, hyung. Shoot” Jimin took one more sip of his coffee, while keeping his eyes on Yoongi.

“I— I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable in any way…” He started, watching as Jimin’s brows got closer together, in a frown.

“You can ask me anything, hyung.”

Can I?

Yoongi bit his lips, preparing himself.

“Would you… would you like to go on a date with me?”

There. He did it.

Jimin’s eyes widened.

“Oh”

Yoongi’s eyes were searching for any sign of discomfort, but Jimin just looked surprised. His big eyes were staring right at Yoongi and his mouth was slightly opened.

Yoongi didn’t know if that was a good sign or not.

When a few minutes passed and Jimin didn’t say anything, he began to panic.

“I’m— I’m sorry? I—”

“I thought—” Jimin had interrupted him. Yoongi closed his mouth right away. “I thought… I’d have to ask…”

“What?”

Yoongi was lost.

“I thought…” Jimin started again, biting his lip for a moment before continuing. “I thought you’d never ask, hyung…” He said, lowly.

“Oh”

“Yeah, oh”

They remained staring at each other, smiles slowly taking over both of their faces.

“Does that…” Yoongi wasn’t even sure if he could speak properly. “Does that mean… yes?”

“Of course it means yes, hyung” Jimin giggled and Yoongi melted right then and there.

“Okay. Yeah. Cool” Yoongi was totally losing his mind.

Did Jimin really say yes?

“Hyung?”

Was he really taking Park Jimin on a date?

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Totally. Cool”

He was taking Jimin on a fucking date.

“You’re cute, hyung.” Jimin giggled again.

Fuck.

Later that day, after going home, Yoongi texted Namjoon to tell him the big news. They ended up in a call.

“Did you really?!”

“Yeah, Joon. I really asked him out and he really said yes!”

Namjoon chuckled on the other side of the line.

“I’m proud of you, Yoonie”

“Thanks”

They talked some more about how Yoongi usually didn’t take much action when he had a crush. He would usually wait for the other person to take the first step and just harbor his feelings quietly. This was one of the few stances in which Yoongi actually took matters into his own hands and had the courage to ask the other person out first.

“So, where do you plan on taking him?”

“I don’t know…” Yoongi mumbled.

“Cut the crap, hyung, you and I both know that you thought about every single possibility for this date before even approaching Jimin”

That made the older chuckle.

“You know me so well”

“Just takes an overthinker to understand one,” Yoongi could see Namjoon shrugging just by hearing him say that. “So…?”

“I did overthink a lot, but I still don’t know what’s the best option for a first date”

“What do you got?”

“Well” Yoongi made himself comfortable on his bed, adjusting the pillows and laying down on his side, phone on speaker right beside him. “We could go to a park and have a picnic?”

“Nice, there’s people around but it’s an open space so you won’t feel overwhelmed”

Namjoon knew him so well.

“Exactly. I also thought about having dinner in one of the restaurants that have good reviews on Kim Seokjin’s site”

“Hm. That critic that you like?”

“Yep. He has some recent ones that seem nice, but I’d have to look it up.”

“Cool. Anything else?”

“Not really. I don’t wanna bring him to the movies or an amusement park, you know?”

“You wouldn’t be able to talk to him at the movies and amusement rides make you sick, plus there’s a bunch of people around”

Namjoon really did know him well.

“I still have some time to think, we haven’t decided on a date yet. Jimin said he needed to check his schedule, ‘cause exams are coming up”

“I’ll see if I think of something to help you out”

“Thanks, Joon”

In moments like these Yoongi felt very lucky to have a friend like Namjoon. Someone who knows you well. Someone who’s always there to help if needed. A true friend.

────────

The next day, Yoongi spent his break with Jimin, as usual. He was scared that things would turn awkward after he asked the other man out, but they talked normally the whole time. Maybe with just a little more eye contact than normal. Jimin shared which free days he had, and they decided to go out on Friday. Yoongi also didn’t have any classes that day, so they would meet after his shift. They agreed to meet at the cafe, at five. Yoongi would get ready in the back room and they would leave for their date after that.

Yoongi still hadn’t decided where he would take Jimin. Namjoon had texted him a few ideas and Yoongi considered some of them, but none of them seemed like the perfect idea. He knew that “perfect” was a concept too impossible to reach, but still, he wanted to be the closest he could get to it. Jimin deserved it.

He spent the rest of his shift daydreaming about what he could do to make the date remarcable. He wanted Jimin to feel special. For him to understand that Yoongi found him special. He thought a lot.

But the perfect idea only came to him on Wednesday night.

Yoongi was working on some lyrics. He had been on the phone with Namjoon earlier, to discuss more ideas for his date. In the end, Namjoon told him:

“It won’t matter where you take him, hyung. I’m sure he’ll appreciate any effort you make.”

But still, Yoongi wanted to work hard for this date. He wanted Jimin to get home later that night and be so satisfied and happy that he’d accept another date with him. He didn’t want to waste Jimin’s time.

Jimin was such an inspiration to him that, in that very moment, he was working on a song heavily charged with Jimin elements. He was putting so many references to the other man in those lyrics. That’s when he decided to check some facts about the universe and the solar system. He wanted to make planet references and was forgetting some of the names Jimin had talked about so much before.

So he typed it in on his search bar, roamed through the results and stopped right on his tracks as he read:

Top 10 Observatories & Planetariums in South Korea.

He only stared at the headline for a few seconds, thumb hovering above it. When his mind finally caught up to what he was seeing, he immediately pressed his finger on the screen.

His mind was racing with thoughts as he swiped through the article. There were so many science related stuff to do in Seoul that he never even thought about. He was getting a bit anxious looking through all the options.

This was it, he thought. The perfect idea.

────────

Friday arrived quicker than he expected. All week he had to control himself not to spill his plans every time Jimin asked where they were going for their date. But he remained steady, not cracking even a little bit, not giving any tips. Jimin was probably drowning in anticipation, without knowing where they would go for the night.

As soon as Yoongi was done with his shift, an out of breath Taehyung was dragging him to the backroom.

“Jimin just texted me,” The taller man said, closing the door. “His uber just pulled at the curb.”

“He’s already here?” Yoongi asked, untying his apron.

Taehyung nodded.

“I’ll take care of him while you get ready,” He gave Yoongi a pet on the back. “Don’t take too long!”

And he was out through the door. Yoongi made sure to lock it after Taehyung got out and began to shed his clothes. He didn’t have a mirror, but maybe that was for the best, he was feeling a bit self-conscious since he woke up that morning. He got his new change of clothes from his bag, replacing it with his work attire. He had decided to go with something simple, but a bit less casual than his usual look. He had a short sleeve black button-down and his best jeans — the only pair he owned with no holes in it. He made sure his shirt wasn’t kneaded, his wallet was in the front pocket of his bag and used his phone camera to check on his hair.

He was ready.

He checked the time, making sure he wasn’t late — it was ten past five —, then unlocked the door. The noise from the busy Cafe hit him as he stepped outside of the backroom. He walked the same path he made everyday on his lunch break, looking for the familiar dark green beanie, and came to a stop in front of the table. Jimin’s table.

Taehyung was standing right in front of him, facing the other way, blocking Yoongi’s view of who was sitting in front of the man. But it only took a clearing of throat for Taehyung to back a few steps and give Yoongi a full view of his date.

Jimin’s eyes widened a tiny bit when they finally fell on Yoongi, and promptly got up from his chair. The latter probably had a similar look on his face.

Jimin was gorgeous.

The man had a white blouse paired up with light blue jeans, all under a cream winter coat. Brown locks styled in a way that showcased his forehead. 

No dark green beanie.

Yoongi couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he was seeing Jimin without his iconic beanie for the first time, after more than a month of knowing him. He looked beautiful, that was a fact, even if it was a bit strange to see him without his beloved hat.

“So…” Taehyung spoke, and only then did Yoongi remember he was there. “Have fun tonight, little birds!”

“Oh my god, Tae” Jimin said, rolling his eyes, as Taehyung walked back to his place behind the counter with a grin on his face.

They both remained silent for a moment, taking each other in. Jimin had a faint blush on his cheeks, and Yoongi couldn’t help but find him adorable. He decided to take the first step.

“Hey”

Did that sound dumb?

“Hey” Jimin answered, with a small smile on his lips.

“You…” Yoongi clenched his fists, trying to put his poor social skills to use. “You look beautiful, Jimin”

He heard the younger taking a breath in.

“Thank you, hyung,” Jimin whispered. “You look beautiful too”

Yoongi nodded, feeling a warmth bubbling inside his stomach.

“Shall we go?”

Jimin nodded and they both made their way to the door.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see” Yoongi answered the same way he had been answering all of Jimin’s questions about the matter during the week.

Now that they were on their way to their date, Yoongi began to feel a bit more anxious about his choices. Would Jimin really like it? Maybe he wouldn’t like it as much as Yoongi expected him to. Maybe he should’ve thought of something more simple and common for a date? Maybe—

“Which way, hyung?”

They were down in the subway, standing in front of two different paths. Yoongi looked up towards the plates, getting out of his daze.

“Yongsan-gu”

They turned left and continued to walk until they reached the platform. The place was busy, but they stuck closer to each other. Even after boarding the train, they had to remain close. They weren’t that far away so the trip wasn’t long, a few stops and they were getting out and in the streets again.

Yoongi remembered to grab his phone for the address before they could continue walking. After checking which was the right way, he beckoned Jimin to follow him. Thankfully, his anxiety was backing down and he could focus on finding the building he had seen in the pictures.

As soon as they arrived, Jimin came to a stop in front of the entrance.

“Donga Science Observatory” He read the inscription, slowly.

Yoongi watched for any reactions, but Jimin was just staring at the words, seemingly reading through them again and again.

Yoongi had done a lot of research after finding that one website talking about the Observatories and Planetariums. He looked through each one located in Seoul, and found that the one in Yongsan-gu had events for couples where they could observe the constellations together. He immediately thought about Jimin and all his rantings about the universe and Astrophysics.

When he was beginning to think that Jimin had broken down or something, the younger man released a long sigh.

“Hyung”

Yoongi came closer, turning his body sideways so he could look at Jimin’s profile. The latter was still looking at the big placard.

“Yeah?”

Jimin closed his eyes, a smile drawing its way on his lips.

“Did you really bring me to see the stars?”

Yoongi released a deep breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

“I did”

Jimin giggled.

Yoongi watched him open his eyes and turn his gaze towards the older. A bright smile adorning his face.

“This is already the best date ever.”

Once they got inside, Jimin couldn’t stop talking. Every little thing they saw displayed on the walls or on small pedestals throughout the rooms, Jimin probably had a fun fact or an intelligent thing to comment on. Yoongi could tell the younger man was very excited, even more based on the way he was speaking faster than normal and the smile that didn’t leave his lips for even a second.

“Hyung, look!” He’d say, and then proceed to make a comment about whatever it was that was being displayed.

Yoongi was having the best time of his life just listening to him.

The time came when Jimin finally became completely silent, and that was once they entered the actual observatory. When they got the instructions to how everything was going to work and how they’d be able to see the constellations even in the middle of Seoul. Jimin was like a little kid learning something new, wide eyes and unwavering gaze. Yoongi tried not to coo.

They got to see a lot of stars and Yoongi got to learn more about the sky and the constellations. Jimin probably already knew a lot of that stuff, but actually seeing it was a bit different. He seemed in trance, looking up at the dark immensity that was the night sky. 

“Hyung…” He whispered, at some point. Yoongi hummed to show that he was listening and Jimin let out a soft giggle. “This is amazing.”

“It is.” Yoongi agreed, glancing at the other’s mesmerized expression.

“Thank you,” Jimin said, quietly, so as to not disturb the other people in the room. “For bringing me here”

The rest of their time in the observatory was as pleasant as the beginning. Jimin made some more comments as they were exiting the place, talking excitedly about everything they saw and how much fun he had. Yoongi felt accomplished.

Now, it was time for part two of their date — the dinner.

Yoongi had made sure to ask Taehyung about Jimin’s food preferences. Since the only thing he ever saw the younger eating was cheesecake slices with coffee. He picked the restaurant from one of his favorite review sites, where — despite being a food critic’s website — had amazing tips about pricing and nice locations as well. So he finally picked one after making sure with Taehyung that Jimin would enjoy the food.

And that’s where they were heading now.

As they walked through the busy streets, Yoongi found himself with a sudden itch on his fingers, an itch for contact. He looked down towards their hands, which were close enough to brush on one another, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to intertwine them.

Would Jimin feel uncomfortable?

The itch was growing, he could feel the sweat accumulating on his palm. He wanted to hold Jimin’s hand so badly.

But what if Jimin didn’t want that?

Should he just ask?

He felt his fingers trembling at the thought.

“Jimin-ah” Yoongi called. Now it seemed stupid to ask for something like this, but he had to make sure. “Can I… hold your hand?”

Jimin’s steps ceased. He had stopped walking and was now staring at Yoongi with his mouth slightly opened.

His cheeks were turning a bright shade of pink.

He seemed to be having a hard time forming words, so Yoongi just asked again. “Can I?”

Jimin nodded.

Yoongi gave him a smile, feeling his own cheeks heating. Okay. Yeah. Nice.

He got closer to the younger, bringing his hand slightly upwards and brushing their fingers together. He slipped his hand on Jimin’s, feeling the warmth enveloping his palm. He intertwined their fingers.

They held hands all the way until they reached the restaurant.

The food was amazing. Yoongi wasn’t really worried, because he trusted the website where he had gathered the recommendation, but he was happy Jimin liked it as well.

They talked a lot during dinner. Jimin couldn’t stop talking about their visit to the observatory and how much fun he had there. They shared more about their lives and how they were doing. It didn’t feel much different from the conversations they had everyday at the Cafe. Obviously they were in a different place and Yoongi had more than only twenty minutes to spend, but they felt as comfortable with each other as any other day.

Yoongi got to listen to Jimin for an entire night and just that already made him happy.

After they finished eating they still talked some more. Yoongi had the pleasure to watch Jimin laughing when he’d say something funny and blushing every time he gave him a compliment. At the end of the night they split the check and made their way back to the subway.

The trip back to the Cafe was calmer, as the train wasn’t as busy as it was earlier in the evening. They got to sit and somewhere along the way Jimin intertwined their hands once again.

When the time came for them to say goodbye, Yoongi’s anxiety came creeping back with full force. How would they say goodbye? Would they hug? Would they… kiss?

They were standing in front of Yoongi’s workplace, the Cafe long closed by now. Yoongi went to get his bicycle from the back and Jimin was waiting for him to ask for his uber.

Yoongi had a great night. Even better than what he had predicted. He didn’t want to ruin it by going too fast, but his heart was beating like crazy only at the idea of being closer to Jimin.

Again, that thought popped up in his head: should he just ask?

As he approached the younger, he noticed Jimin was looking a bit nervous as well. Maybe it was just him projecting, but the other had his lips in a tight grip with his teeth, as he probably asked for his uber on the phone.

Yoongi got a little closer.

“Jimin”

When Jimin turned all the way in his direction, Yoongi realized maybe he had gotten a bit too close.

“Hm?” Jimin was looking straight at him.

Yoongi’s hands were sweating. He took too long to answer so Jimin released a chuckle. “Yes, hyung?”

Jimin was looking beautiful under the moonlight. His brown hair looked soft, his smile bright. He was still looking at Yoongi in the eye, as the moon was shining on them, bringing light to the empty street across the coffee shop.

Yoongi clenched his sweaty palms into fists; heart pounding inside his chest.

He took a deep breath in.

Fuck it.

“I wanna kiss you.”

The moonlight was just enough for the older to see Jimin’s cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

Jimin released a trembling sigh. His eyes glanced down at Yoongi’s lips.

“Can I?”

If Yoongi were to be looking anywhere else, he would’ve missed the small nod. Fortunately, his eyes were eagerly glued to the younger.

Even though it was Yoongi who asked for the kiss, Jimin was the one who closed their distance, stepping closer. Both of them were now glancing at each other’s lips. Yoongi felt something stir in his stomach.

Did Jimin really agree? Could he really kiss him? His anxious mind had to make sure.

“Are you su—”

“Oh my god, hyung, yes!”

Jimin grabbed the older with his small hands, attaching their lips in a rushed peck.

Yoongi’s mind went wild. Jimin kissed him.

It lasted over two seconds. They were now both staring at each other, so, so close and Yoongi could clearly see the blush on Jimin’s face. Jimin kissed him.

They were so close, but suddenly it wasn’t enough.

Yoongi went for Jimin’s lips again without thinking twice. It was a real kiss this time, and they both sighed in relief. Jimin felt two hands come to rest on his hips, one of them sliding up his waist and then his back, applying more pressure to move him closer — as if it was possible.

Their lips found a calm but passionate pace, their warm breaths mixing with the cold air of the night. Yoongi could feel his heart beating fast, ecstatic. His fingers trembled where they were holding onto Jimin’s hip and back. Jimin’s own hands finding home on Yoongi’s cheeks, his cold fingers against Yoongi’s warm skin. 

After a while, they parted in order to breathe. Jimin’s thumb was caressing Yoongi’s right cheek and he couldn’t help but smile at the younger, who smiled back. To anyone passing by, they might just seem like lovesick fools, smiling in each other’s arms.

Jimin raised one of his hands and brushed Yoongi’s fringe out of his eyes, tucking the strand of black hair behind the older man’s ear.

A vibrating sound made them both wake up from the reverie they were in. Jimin realized it was his phone and had to let go of Yoongi so he could fetch it from his back pocket.

“My uber is almost here” He said, looking down at the screen.

The light from the phone gave Yoongi a clearer sigh of Jimin’s face, and his reddened lips. He tried not to stare, but it was hard, especially when Jimin’s tongue made an appearance as he licked them.

They had just kissed, but Yoongi couldn’t wait to kiss him again.

Unfortunately, a car pulled at the curb right in front of the Cafe. Jimin pocketed his phone and smiled at him.

“Thank you for tonight, hyung” Jimin came closer one more time and slid his arms around Yoongi’s middle, hugging him.

“Thank you for coming” Yoongi said, trying to enjoy the most of the embrace. “Text me when you get home, ok?”

The younger nodded, hugging him just a bit tighter. Jimin was letting him go soon enough, waving goodbye as he entered the car.

Yoongi grabbed his bike and started pedalling his way back home, all the while having an uncontainable smile plastered on his face.

────────

Waking up the next morning felt like waking up from a dream. Yoongi tossed and turned in bed, memories from the night before floating inside his dreamy mind. The observatory. Jimin’s excitement. Holding hands. The dinner. The kiss.

The kiss.

Yoongi had really kissed Park Jimin.

Looking up towards the ceiling, Yoongi couldn’t imagine anything ruining his morning.

He had gotten back to a silent house the night before, his parents probably asleep and his brother busy with whatever games he liked to play at night. His phone had buzzed somewhere along the way, and once he finally got in bed, he checked his messages.

metal straw boy [23:42]

got home safe ><

thanks again for the amazing date, hyung

see you on monday ;)

Smiling like a fool, Yoongi replied to Jimin and kept staring at the phone for a few more minutes, before rolling around and falling straight asleep.

Yoongi usually had problems staying asleep throughout the whole night, but as if lulled by the great time he had, he found himself in the unusual scenario of sleeping until after the sun was up.

As soon as he woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was sit down to work on some lyrics. His inspiration usually striked sometime in the middle of the night, but again, it wasn’t an usual day. His mind was racing with thoughts of the night before. Jimin’s smile, holding hands in the busy streets, their lips connecting before they said goodbye, hugging him close.

Yoongi worked on his music through the whole morning, until noon came and there were knocks on his door.

He was so focused, the sound took him by surprise. And then, that pitchy voice shouted from the other side, bringing him down to earth.

“Yubin-ah, time for lunch!”

His peaceful morning had just turned sour.

For a few moments, he had forgotten where he lived. Who were the people around him and what they meant to him. For a moment, he had forgotten who he was.

A bitter taste settled on his tongue.

Lunch was quick and for that he was grateful. His father was working so it was only him, his mother and Changbin at the table. They didn’t talk much. He tried not to focus too much on the conversation his mother was having with his brother, and he went back upstairs as soon as he was done eating and washing his dishes.

As he settled down in bed, his mood was completely different from earlier that morning. Now, he didn’t think about the wonderful night he had, but rather how long until it was all over. Anxiety would come blasting in with all these self-deprecating thoughts. Fear and doubt flooding his mind, drowning him.

How long until it all crumbles down?

Everything might be fine now, but not for long. Everything was fine only because Jimin didn’t know. He didn’t know the truth about him, he was oblivious. Yoongi couldn’t possibly expect Jimin to be elated after finding out. No, Jimin was gay. He liked men. Yoongi was a man, but not a conventional man. Not a cis man. Could Jimin want him, still?

What if he’s not attracted to him anymore? What if he refuses to see him again? What if he’s disgusted by him?

Yoongi was spiralling and spiralling.

Jimin had the right to know. But how could he tell him? Yoongi liked him so much, he didn’t want to lose him. What if he lost Jimin just by being who he was?

It had happened before.

Yoongi wasn’t ashamed of who he was, he was proud of being able to express himself freely — even if his family didn’t agree or respect him. He, luckly, didn’t have to deal with internalized transphobia, but the truth was that people were unpredictable. He could not think those things about himself, but someone might.

You can never predict how people will react to things like that. Sometimes you think you know a person, just for them to ultimately disappoint you by being ignorant and disrespectful. Sometimes, you could get pleasantly surprised by someone you thought was never going to understand you. Yoongi had both experiences and much more in between. He hadn’t felt insecure about telling people he was transgender for a long time. Since he came out to his family. Since he legally changed his name, since he started hormonal therapy. Since he realized real friends would never leave him for something like this. Ever since then, he said fuck it.

But still. Still.

Jimin was different. He made Yoongi feel so good. He made Yoongi feel happy. He was kind, and talkative, but not overbearingly so. He was so passionate about the things he loved, and Yoongi admired that. He was sincere and so, so beautiful.

Yoongi didn’t want to lose him.

He called Namjoon once the thoughts became too much.

Namjoon was always good at setting his head straight. He was good at reminding Yoongi that life was more than what body you were born with; reminding Yoongi that he was valid and understood.

“Hyung” Namjoon’s low voice called him from the other side of the line. “Breathe for me”

Yoongi didn’t even notice he had started hyperventilating. He just dialed the younger’s number when his mind started wandering to darker places.

“Breathe, hyung”

Once he calmed down, Namjoon waited until he was ready to talk.

“Thank you, Joon”

“No problem,” Yoongi heard what sounded like a door closing on Namjoon’s side of the line. “Did something happen at home?”

“No, I…” He trailed off. “I just started thinking too much, that’s all.”

“About?”

“About Jimin. And the fact that I’m lying to him”

“What do you mean you’re lying to him?”

Yoongi’s voice sounded small as he said, “About me being trans”

“You’re not lying, hyung, you just haven’t got the chance to tell him yet”

“And what will happen when I tell him, Joon?” His voice was muffled, his throat clogged up. “What if he hates me for it?”

“Hyung…”

“What if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore?” He was hyperventilating again. Eyes watering with unwanted tears.

“Hyung, breathe,”

“I’m fucking trying,”

They stayed silent for the next few minutes, just breathing through the phone. Namjoon was probably making his own breathing more apparent to ease Yoongi into it.

After what seemed like fifteen to twenty minutes, Namjoon decided to speak.

“How did the date go?”

Yoongi took a deep breath in, feeling his heart beating fast against his ribcage.

He mumbled a response, but it left his mouth almost inaudible.

“Hyung?” Namjoon called.

“‘s good” Yoongi managed to answer, a little bit louder.

“Just good?” Namjoon’s voice was soothing, like he was trying to lull him to sleep.

“It was amazing,” Yoongi finally said, staring at the white ceiling of his room, remembering the dark night sky he shared with Jimin.

“Amazing, huh?” Namjoon teased.

“Shut up” Yoongi chuckled, feeling the pressure on his chest ease just a little bit more. “He’s amazing, Joon,” He whispered. “I don’t wanna lose him.”

“You won’t”

────────

Monday came by faster than Yoongi would’ve liked.

The feeling was bittersweet, actually. He wanted to see Jimin again, but at the same time, he didn’t want to face him. His heart would beat faster at the thought of seeing the younger, a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Anticipation and dread.

If any of his coworkers noticed his state, none of them mentioned it. They worked like usual, with great dynamics. Yoongi did his best not to mess up anything while stressing about what was going to happen later that day.

Taehyung made a few comments about him, Jimin and the date, but Yoongi was so out of it that he nearly paid any attention. Taehyung didn’t seem to mind, though, as he continued teasing him all morning.

He did a good job at remaining collected, at least considering the amount of anxiety polluting his brain. He tended to customers and helped Mina prepare orders, as he practiced breathing in between.

Everything was going smoothly.

Until that dark green beanie appeared through the door.

Yoongi was about to have a heart attack.

His heart was beating so fast he could feel it pressing on his chest. He realized he was panting once a few customers started giving him side glances.

Jimin had just ordered his usual. Yoongi somehow managed to place the order without collapsing, but he couldn’t even look Jimin in the eye. He was currently trying to gather strength in order to take his break and follow Jimin to his table.

He tried to remember Namjoon’s words, and how they talked all throughout the weekend about how Yoongi would approach the subject with Jimin. He just needed to calm down. Start slowly and then just say it. Like ripping off a band-aid.

He took deep breaths and told Mina he was having his break.

As he entered the backroom to fetch his lunchbox, he took a seat on the old navy couch, closing his eyes and just breathing. He could do this. He had done this many times before. Jimin was a kind and understanding person and he would react fine. Everything would be fine.

He got up after repeating the same words to himself a few times.

Jimin was waiting for him on his table, his vanilla latte already in front of him, as he sipped through his metal straw.

Yoongi approached him in cautious steps.

“Hey”

Jimin’s crescent moon eyes greeted him back, as he smiled. “Hey, hyung”

Yoongi took a seat in front of him and watched as Jimin’s cheeks became a pretty shade of pink.

“How was your weekend?” Jimin asked.

“Fine,” Yoongi answered, playing with his fingers underneath the table. “Nothing new. What about you?”

“I spent the weekend at Tae’s” Jimin said, taking another sip of his coffee. 

He then went on about his weekend at Taehyung’s house, talking about the movie marathon they had and how Taehyung’s roommate had a really weird taste in music. Yoongi indulged him as much as he could, enjoying how his nerves settled down while hearing Jimin talk.

So he let Jimin talk.

Still, Yoongi made sure that there was enough time left of his break for him to have the conversation with Jimin. He truly didn’t know how Jimin would react or how long he would need to explain everything to him, as to why he didn’t say anything earlier and apologize for it.

When Jimin finally ended his excited telling of how his weekend went, Yoongi figured it was time.

He dried his sweaty palms on his apron and took a deep breath.

“Jimin-ah”

As soon as the name left his lips, Jimin’s eyes zeroed on him.

“Yes, hyung?”

Jimin’s gaze made him feel self-conscious, but he swallowed it up.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” He started, trying his best not to stutter. “I probably should’ve talked about it sooner and I’m sorry for that”

“Is everything okay, hyung?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just…” His left hand was drawing patterns on his right palm, trying to distract himself from the weight of the conversation. “I’ll understand if this changes things between us. Or if you don’t want to continue seeing me.”

“Hyung” Jimin seemed ready to interrupt him right there, but Yoongi continued.

“I— I really need to talk about this before we can go any further with what we have.” Yoongi could feel his chest tightening and the pressure rising. “You need to know something before we can…”

“Hyung, breathe,” Jimin stretched his hand on top of the table, trying to reach for him. “I’m sure it’s nothing bad”

“Depends on what your thoughts are on it,” Yoongi brought his hand from under the table, sliding it until it met Jimin’s fingers on top. “I hope it won’t change anything, but I’ll understand if it does”

Just say it.

“Yoongi-hyung…”

Like ripping off a band-aid.

“I’m trans, Jimin”

The sound of the other customers suddenly seemed louder given the silence on their table. Jimin was looking at him with an unreadable expression, not saying anything and Yoongi was starting to panic slightly.

And then, Jimin chuckled.

“Aish…” His fingers were slowly tightening around Yoongi’s. “You got me all anxious…”

Yoongi furrowed his brows, trying to understand. He watched as Jimin’s lips curved into a small smile, his kind eyes looking straight at Yoongi’s soul.

And then he said, “I kinda knew, hyung”

Yoongi’s eyes widened. “What?”

The world around him seemed to be getting a little blurry, all his attention on Jimin and what he was saying.

“I said I kinda knew… That you’re trans, I mean” Jimin was still smiling and Yoongi’s brain was short-circuited.

“Wait,” Yoongi’s heart had skipped several beats at that point. “You did?” He watched as Jimin nodded. “How? I mean, you never said anything?”

“Was I supposed to?”

“So you’re not… mad?” Or disgusted? Yoongi couldn’t understand what was happening. His mind was spiralling with all these thoughts and he couldn’t get a grip of anything.

Jimin just chuckled and shook his head, seeming amused.

“How…” Yoongi wanted to know. He wanted to know what gave it away. Was it his voice? His appearance? The way he acts? He needed to know what gave it away, but instead, he asked: “For how long have you known?”

“A couple weeks, I think,” Jimin seems to be deep in thought. “I wasn’t a hundred percent sure, though”

“When…?” Yoongi couldn’t even form a complete sentence. He was too astonished.

“Your brother. He called you noona… ”

Oh.

So Jimin did notice it.

“I mean, I wouldn’t have known just by that. He could be just calling you that for some other reason…” Jimin brought his other hand to the table, reaching out for Yoongi again. “But then last Friday… when we hugged and I put my hands on your back? I don’t really know how to call it, but I felt it, under your shirt?” He mumbled, gesturing with his hand still intertwined with Yoongi’s.

“Oh” His binder.

“That kind of confirmed it, but not really?” Jimin’s lips formed a pout. “‘Cause I wasn’t sure about your brother. I mean, he could’ve been just teasing you or something? Even though he seemed pretty serious and none of you laughed or anything…” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Actually, now that I think about it, you seemed pretty uncomfortable… so I figured…” Yoongi could almost see the engines working inside Jimin’s head. “Yeah, the hug just kind of confirmed it”

After Jimin finished his explanation, they remained silent for a couple minutes. Yoongi could feel Jimin caressing his hands with his thumbs, and that was subconsciously making him a bit more at ease. Still, he had a lot of questions.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It was just a hunch, but even if I was sure… I didn’t think it was my place to address something like this. It’s your body, hyung, you should be the one to address it, if you want and when you’re ready. I’m not going to pressure you to talk about it if you’re not ready.”

Yoongi felt a warm feeling bubbling inside him, his anxiety subsiding. The fear of rejection washing away with every word leaving Jimin’s mouth.

“I just… I just don’t wanna feel like I’m lying to you,” He said, looking down at the table, and he meant it. He didn’t want to hide anything from the younger. “Most people would want to know about something like this, since it’s pretty important and it’s good to know what you’re gonna deal with if we ever end up in bed and—”

“You’re taking me to bed, hyung?” Jimin had a cute smirk adorning his lips, eyebrows perked up.

“I mean, if— if you wanted to, I mean—”

Jimin chuckled, letting go of one of Yoongi’s hands so he could cover his mouth.

“I’d like that,” Jimin said, giggling. Yoongi was about to pass out. “But I’d like for us to get to know each other a little bit more first. Is that okay, hyung?”

Yoongi was speechless.

“Ye—Yeah. I mean, yes. Sure.”

Jimin was still laughing, but went back to holding both of Yoongi’s hands. This was making everything a lot easier for him.

Yoongi was almost sure that his break was over already, and maybe Mina and Taehyung sensed they were having a serious conversation, so they didn’t interrupt. Either way, he still had doubts in him, so he should take care of them while he can.

“So, you’re really not mad?” He asked, one more time.

“Of course not, hyung. Besides, it wouldn’t make sense for you to say something like that while introducing yourself” Jimin chuckled again, his eyes closing for a brief moment.

“Yeah, but…”

“But?”

“You’re gay, Jimin,” And, in that moment, Jimin’s demeanor changed back to a more serious one. “You’re saying that it doesn’t bother you that I’m… well, like this” Yoongi tried to motion to himself, releasing a bitter chuckle.

“All I see is a man, Yoongi,” That was the first time Jimin addressed him only by his name. Yoongi should feel disrespected, as Jimin was a couple years younger than him, but he was too focused on the words being uttered to care about honorifics. Maybe Jimin wanted to get his full attention with it, and he got it. “Yes, I am gay. That means I like men, therefore it only makes sense for me to like you.”

“You like me?”

“Oh my god, Yoongi” Jimin looked completely dumbfounded. “Yes, of course I like you”

Yoongi felt his insides tingling. “I like you too.” He muttered.

Jimin smiled and he smiled back, finally feeling all that anxiety washing away.

“I hope you trust me when I say that learning this about you didn’t change a thing in the way I see you” The younger said, giving Yoongi’s hands a little squeeze.

Yoongi still couldn’t believe Jimin was even kinder than he’d thought.

“Thank you, Jimin-ah.” He said, heart warm and happy.

────────

Things didn’t change that much after Yoongi came out to Jimin. The younger didn’t seem to be treating Yoongi any differently from how he was before. They also didn’t bring the subject up many times. The biggest difference was in Yoongi himself, and how at ease he was feeling. He didn’t feel like he was hiding something anymore, the weight of it no longer on his shoulders. Even if Jimin didn’t make a big deal of it, being able to speak about it still lifted a huge weight. Yoongi felt lighter.

He could also talk more about his life and his experiences with being who he was, without feeling like he was leaving a part of himself hidden. He finally talked about his family and how unsupportive they were, explaining why his brother had called him the wrong way that day at the shop. Jimin showed him how empathetic he was when he talked about his family and the younger man seemed genuinely sad, as if he was the one being shunned and disrespected. During one of their deeper conversations, Jimin came close to shedding actual tears, which made Yoongi feel deeply cared for.

They were forming a special bond, and Yoongi couldn’t be happier. Each day, they learned more about each other and became a little closer.

Jimin still visited the coffee shop everyday between classes, but now they also met outside of Yoongi’s workplace. They started going on dates every other Friday, as it was the day they both could meet a bit earlier, but sometimes they’d go out during the weekend as well.

It was one of those Saturdays, they had decided to have a date night, and Yoongi was getting ready. They had been going on dates for about two months, and Jimin had invited him to dinner at his place for the first time. To say Yoongi was nervous was an understatement. During their time going out, they had never been alone in a private space before. Between going out for dinner and visiting exhibitions, the closer to a private place they had been together were the movies. They had been to the movies a couple times, in which they sneaked a few kisses and lightly made out a bit, but that was it. That was the most intimate they had gotten during the past couple months. To know that they would be alone at the younger’s apartment was as exciting as it was nerve-wracking. Yoongi had been intimate with past partners before, but there would always be a part of him with a known fear of how things would play out. He had bad experiences in the past, where people thought it was okay to not respect his boundaries, or his body was a turn off in some way. He already had to deal with it everyday, imagine having the person he’s intimate with reminding him that his body was not the expected or the norm for his gender.

He was rightfully insecure.

Still, just because they were going to be alone, doesn’t necessarily means they were going to have sex that night. He knew that. But either way, the prospect of being intimate with Jimin made him feel excited in a way, but nervous as well. Even if Jimin had already stated that Yoongi being transgender didn’t change anything, it did change a lot of things. It did change the way Jimin would behave with him in bed. He wouldn’t assume that Jimin, or any of his past partners for that matter, would treat him the same way they’d treat a cis man. He was not a cis man, afterall. So even if it didn’t change the way Jimin viewed him, it did change things between them.

Which, obviously, made him feel anxious.

Getting ready to leave, he looked at his reflection one last time in the bathroom mirror. He had decided to go with a casual choice of clothing, but still enough to look good for a date. His black hair wasn’t styled, but Jimin said he liked Yoongi with his natural hair, fringe covering his forehead. His jeans weren’t skinny, but just tight enough.

He pocketed his wallet and cellphone and left the house with just a wave at his younger brother, who was watching some Netflix in the living room.

Jimin didn’t live far, it was actually pretty close to Yoongi’s workplace, but he still decided to take the subway instead of biking there. He didn’t want to arrive all sweaty to his date.

He got there pretty quickly and soon was shooting Jimin a text message so he could allow Yoongi’s entry.

Passing through the gate, Yoongi made his way to the third floor, searching for apartment number 307. It was at the end of the hallway, and he stopped right in front of the door, taking a few seconds to just breathe and compose himself.

Maybe he should have taken a Xanax before leaving the house.

Curling his sweaty palm into a fist, he knocked on the door three times. Less than a minute later, the door was already being opened in front of him.

“Hyung!” Jimin had a smile adorning his face, eyes running up and down while bluntly checking out the older. “Come in!”

Jimin stepped to the side, giving him space to enter the place. Before bending down to get his shoes, Yoongi came a bit closer and pecked Jimin’s lips, watching the younger’s cheeks turning a light shade of pink. Jimin welcomed him again and started guiding him towards the living room, where there was a grey couch with a lot of blankets on top of it, facing a medium sized TV.

“Are you hungry, hyung?” Jimin asked, stopping in the middle of the room. He could see the kitchen from where they were standing, separated from the living room only by the counter. “We could order dinner now or watch a movie first, what do you think?”

“I had an early lunch, so I’m actually a bit hungry,” Yoongi said, reaching his hand so he could hold Jimin’s. “What about I make us some orange juice while you choose what to eat, hm?”

Jimin smiled.

“Okay!” He said, giving Yoongi a quick peck and rushing to the counter to get his phone. “What are you craving tonight?”

As they went on about what to order, Yoongi made his way to the kitchen, where Jimin showed him where his manual juicer was and where to find the oranges.

Jimin didn’t really enjoy wine, or any alcoholic drinks for that matter, as Yoongi learned during their third or fourth date, so the younger usually got a lot of fruits to make organic juices or smoothies. Yoongi himself wasn’t that much of a drinker, so he was happy to follow along.

After making their order on the food app, Jimin lifted himself to sit on the counter and watch Yoongi working.

“So, how was your day, hyung?” Jimin asked, picking up one of the orange peels and bringing it up to his nose so he could indulge in the citric scent.

“Boring, for the most part,” Yoongi answered, focused on making the juice, but still glancing Jimin’s way from time to time. “What about yours?”

“I went on a walk this morning, actually…”

“Really?” At that, Jimin chuckled, watching Yoongi’s rather surprised expression. “That’s great, baby,”

Jimin stopped mid laugh. Yoongi seemed to realize what he did because his hand was no longer pressing down on the fruit under it.

“Baby?” Jimin asked, in a small voice. He was trying not to show how giddy he was.

“Yeah,” Yoongi answered, drying his hands on the cloth by the sink and turning around to face the younger. “Baby.”

The smile on Jimin’s face was priceless. His cheeks were squishing his pretty eyes in the perfect eye-smile, his little crooked tooth making an appearance. Yoongi could stare at that smile for hours on end, without getting bored.

“I like the sound of that,” Jimin said, as Yoongi approached him, finding a place between the younger’s legs.

“You do?”

Yoongi was now a few inches away from him. Jimin hummed, in affirmation.

Yoongi leaned forward, eyes darting down on Jimin’s face, until it stopped on his mouth.

It didn’t take long before they were both staring at each other’s lips, with how close they’d gotten. Yoongi had a little smirk on him, watching Jimin get pinker by the minute. They didn’t even notice who ended the distance, maybe the both of them came closer at the same time, but they were soon clashing. Lips on lips, hands running to hold onto something. Jimin grabbed Yoongi’s black strands, Yoongi got a hold of his waist and they were kissing like they haven’t seen each other in months, even though they were together at the Cafe just the day before.

Yoongi made sure to kiss Jimin thoroughly, with passion. Every little corner of his mouth was being explored. Tongues dancing to an unknown rhythm, but still in sync. Yoongi pulled on Jimin’s lower lip with his teeth, feeling their breaths mixing in between them. His heart was beating fast, mind racing with nothing but one thought: Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.

Yoongi tightened his grip on Jimin’s waist and the younger let out a choked sound between their kisses. Little moans spilling out against his will. Yoongi loved those sounds. They didn’t have enough time alone for him to appreciate them before. But now, he would make sure to drown in it.

They made out for some time, until there was a buzz indicating that someone was at the gate. They reluctantly parted from each other, panting. Yoongi helped Jimin to get out of the counter and the younger went to let the delivery guy in. He got their food and brought everything to the small table between the living room and the kitchen. Yoongi finished the juice and poured two cups for them, joining Jimin at the table.

They ate in silence for most of the time, making small conversation. Jimin shared more about his day, getting praises from Yoongi for going out for that walk — which he knew was hard for the younger most days.

After getting to know each other better, Jimin had told him about his depression, and how it made him unable to get out of bed sometimes; and that’s why he wouldn’t show up at the coffee shop for some days in a row. The younger had been battling against it since he was 15, and he would still visit his psychiatrist every now and then. Therapy was an every week occurrence. Yoongi was thoroughly impressed with how well he was doing. Jimin was one of the smartest people he had ever met, and also one of the most passionate. He had a constant thirst for knowledge that was contagious. His smile was so beautiful you would never guess what was kept inside his mind. He was strong, and Yoongi really admired him.

At the time, Yoongi had decided to share his story as well, about his issues with anxiety, after Jimin trusted him with such an intimate part of himself. Yoongi didn’t go to therapy anymore, but he had, once. At first his parents had only agreed because they thought therapy would help with his “transgenderness”, but the thing was that Yoongi was having a lot of panic attacks. He was lucky that he was already 18, so his parents didn’t have to come to any of his sessions, since he wasn’t a minor anymore. He also got lucky that his first therapist was able to help him. Usually it would take some time for you to find the right person, but Yoongi got help right away, in the first try. Unlike Jimin, who shared he had to walk through a lot of different offices until he found someone who he could trust.

They both had issues, but they were managing in their own ways. Every life is different and one’s experience with a certain situation might not be similar to anyone else’s. The important thing is to respect each and every one.

After eating, they decided to watch a movie. Since they both enjoyed mostly the same genres, it was easy to pick one. They were gladly surprised to know that they shared quite a lot of their favorite movies, including Inception, which they decided on. Jimin was a huge nerd and Yoongi loved to hear him gushing about every aspect of the movie. They both knew when to talk and when to stay quiet so they could enjoy the scenes. It was probably one of the best dates Yoongi had ever had. They were both curled up on the couch, under the pile of blankets, close enough to bump shoulders. Their hands were intertwined. Yoongi was at ease, that earlier anxiety totally forgotten. Even if they were to get intimate later, Yoongi wasn’t thinking about it as much. He was just enjoying their time together.

And he was having a really great time.

They didn’t have sex that night. Yoongi did spend the night in Jimin’s apartment, though; but they only shared a bed. They made out some more after the movie, but Yoongi didn’t feel ready to do anything else, so they just called it a night. Jimin didn’t seem disappointed or anything, he was smiling big and got very comfortable when they cuddled on his bed. He seemed happy. 

And if Jimin was happy, Yoongi was happy.

It didn’t matter when their first time was going to be, Yoongi trusted Jimin. It would happen at the right time, when they were both ready.