Work Text:
A lone woman, just the age of twenty-one, cried.
“F-Fuck you English!” she cursed in a loud whisper, eyes shutting tightly as she curled up even more under the quaint brown sheets. An arm continued to hug her knees, pulling them closer as her grip tightened around the neck of a bottle of alcohol.
She still remembered what he said when he had to break the news to her that, yet again, he had to leave on another mission. “I-I don’t f-forgive you aaat all! I-I take back all my forgiveness!”
“Forgive me, Roxy, but I leave must with Strider on another outing assigned to our particular unit.”
Mouth parting to let out sounds of more sobs, Roxy wiped the running tears away with her arm, even if it did no help. She stumbled with her voice for a moment before she shouted out into the silence, an echo filling the empty household. “F-Fuck you and your fuckin’ p-promises!”
“Love, please do not worry because, alas, I shall come back and, dag nab, I promise to the heavens my return home shall come! So, please, do not fret!”
The memory, the promise he made, was etched into the back of her mind. Word to word, she could remember it.
That smile he had given her, full of so much determination and reassurance, she couldn't forget. His smiles were always so bright, and it had followed along with a laugh.
“D-Damn you English!”
Roxy had yearned for him once more. So badly did she miss his touch.
So badly did she miss the way their hands interlocked together and fit so perfectly, the soft-spoken good mornings he had wished her when they woke up side by side, the sticky notes he left her when she had woken up or came home to an empty house, the way his flawless voice spoke her name, the way his eyes would twinkle as he laughed with her, and especially…
the way his soft lips touched her own as he quietly whispered, ‘I love you.’
“When our return comes, Strider and I expect a ‘welcome back’ gathering and hugs and kisses from our beautiful partners.”
And if Jake was here, then Roxy would be holding him close, practically clinging, as she buried her face into his shirt and laid in bed with him all day, smiling as he told her of his adventures and the exciting ‘adventure’ that he had went on out during his mission.
But that wasn’t going to be happening any time soon and would never happen now.
When the unit had returned at last from three days ago, Jane and Roxy were simply watering flowers together, attempting to bring at least some beauty and happiness to this awful, unfair, lifeless world that all were forced to live on.
The door had opened, and both were overjoyed when they saw who it was, but the expression that was held told them that something was wrong, and all three knew what it was without a single word spoken because there was nobody by Strider’s side.
He had been assassinated, shot just the day before they returned.
“Our unit was almost done with what we were assigned, just finishing up what we had to do. I told him, ‘keep by my side’ as we were ready to move out, and he smiled, laughing at me. It happen so suddenly, because one moment, he seemed so cheerful before it was silent…”
Pink irises began to tear up again at the memory, a hiccup tugging at her throat as she mumbled to herself, gaze focused on nothing in particular.
“Y-You were ‘most h-home E-English…”
Sometimes, she had wished that he didn’t join the army, but he had no choice to; in this world, the only way to decently get by and be assured that your family and loved ones were fine was to join the army.
At age seventeen did he join, a year after Dirk had and a week after his father passed away, mother committing suicide because she couldn’t live without the other.
At that time, Roxy, Jake, Dirk, and Jane were still all friends; simply that and no more.
Nobody loved each other, nobody cried for one another, and nobody ever once even uttered the words ‘I love you.’
Roxy and her mother lived in a small home together. Her mother, Rose, had written articles for the newspaper, making enough to support them both while her father was off in some other country, assigned in a unit afar.
Jake, although mother and father gone, still had his grandmother, who did her best to take care of him, being the nurse besides the town doctor.
Dirk’s parents were long gone before he was even the age of six, his older brother joining the army at a young age and asking other family’s, such as Jane’s or Jake’s, to look out for him while he worked in order to assure that Dirk would have enough to continue in his life after Dave himself died; Dirk ended up instead joining the army with his brother, despite being in different units.
Jane’s mother died after giving birth to her, leaving her in the hands of her father, whom left the army in order to properly take care of her, not wanting to trouble her sick grandfather who still tried his best to act as though he was all fine and continue to joke about everything in life.
To this very day, Jane’s father was the only guardian of theirs to still be alive.
And, throughout her entire life, Roxy was able to endure everything with little tears. She was able to comfort and care for her friends when the people they cared for passed away one by one. She was able to take it and not become a mess when her mother’s death came. She was able to still keep sane when Dirk chose Jane over her.
Every time some incident would happen, she would drown her sorrow in alcohol and wine in order to continue smiling and laughing, but now, she couldn’t do it this time.
She couldn’t fake a smile…
She could only cry…
“Lalo- Roxy… I… I think I love you…”
It was her eighteenth birthday when those words were finally uttered to her, and by Jake English nonetheless.
To say the least, Roxy was baffled, but she had accepted his feelings and came in term with her own.
She loved him just as much as he loved her. They may not have been the perfect couple, or even ‘brought together by fate,’ but she knew that she still loved him and nothing was ever going to change that fact.
“H-Hey J-Jakey…”
Her voice still skipped a little, stumbling and stuttering as her puffy eyes closed, breathing calming. Dropping the bottle from her hand, she curled up into a little ball. Her hands still shook and body still trembled, but her mind fought for sleep after staying up for such long hours crying over her love.
“‘Hope our r-reincarnations m-meet in a better world…”
—-
TG: well for me that is
GT: Haha, its quite alright.
TG: lol thx
TG: omg im almost out here
TG: shuldnt have downed it
TG: :(
TG: brb
TG: occupy yourself by singing in the chat
TG: SING ENGLISH SING
TG: or rly type down lyrics but w/e
GT: Erm.
GT: Alright..?
GT: Uhm. Oh, i know.
Roxy smiled as the boy on the other end of the conversation began to type in lyrics to a song.
She calmly sipped her glass of martini, softly giggling to herself in the dark room as the boy continued to type in words from a sweet song that she simply knew was a love song-one that he probably heard in a movie.
“You’re so funny Jake,” she spoke to herself aloud in the quiet home, still pretending to be gone ‘getting another drink.’ She had just wanted to wait and observe his text, that’s all, and not be expected to write a reply so soon.
A small laugh fell from her lips as she saw the word ‘baby’ in the next line that appeared.
But, she couldn’t help but to think of Dirk and Jane when she saw that word. Her other two friends had both harbored feelings for the oblivious boy who only cared for ‘adventure’ and such.
Roxy herself use to hold a small crush on him, but she had given up on him and backed aside as soon as her best friend, Jane, told her that she liked him. It wouldn’t be right of her to go against the other girl for Jake’s heart, and she made sure to stay extra clear away from these flushed feelings when it hit her that Dirk too had adored Jake.
“English, you have no idea how lucky you are.”
And with that last said, Roxy returned to the chat, stating that she was done and was greeted with a ‘welcome back.’
But still, she couldn’t help the way joy filled her when they spoke and how her heart seemed to beat just a little faster when he joked around with her.
Nonetheless though, she continued to try her best to avoid any forms of affection for him and make sure he didn’t feel the same for her, and back away from him she would, because her friends came first.
Roxy would always put them in front of herself and try to make sure that they were happy, because they deserved happiness more than her. She would try her best to make sure that they were filled with joy and be second choice. She would do anything just to make sure that they were merry…
Even if she loved him…