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I peeled my eyes open, I was met with morning light. The dull light coming in from the window lit the room. My eyes adjusted quickly. My heart sank when they did. The bed beside me was empty. Barely wrinkled. No signs you were even there.
I choked. Forgot how to breath. I gasped for air but the only sound was a shuttery sob. I knew that you’d be gone in the morning. But it didn’t sink in until there wasn’t a trace of you left.
I brought my hands up to my eyes and pressed the heels of my palms into the sockets, like I could try and change reality if I could put enough pressure on them. It didn’t work. I pulled my hands away and all I could see was stars. I sat up on the bed and brought my knees up to my chest. Again. Again and again. You never stay. You never leave proof you were here.
The only proof is the lingering feeling of you on my skin.
I ran my hands through my hair and tugged harshly. Why was it so easy for you to leave me? Why was it so easy for you to come and go as you please? Tears burned at the edges of my vision, the room went blurry and I couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. This was my fault anyway. I placed the barrier. I built the wall and you respected me enough to never try to overtake it.
I just wish you would.
I snapped my head up, there was noise coming from the kitchen. There was no way. I threw the blankets off of me and scrambled off the bed. Not even bothering with clothes I scrubbed at my eyes. I reached the doorway of my bedroom and froze. I couldn’t breath again. I was panicking. It could have been nothing. I heard another noise and all strength left me.
I slowly padded down the hall. My heart refused to leave my throat. I made it to the end of the hall and all the dread lifted off me.
There you are. Milling around my kitchen like it’s your own.
“Good morning.” You say with a sheepish smile. “I uh, made breakfast and tea. Hope that’s alright?”
“It’s fine.” I say, tone betraying the excitement bubbling in my stomach.
“This is probably weird for you,” You go on, walking up to me threading your hand through your short hair. “I don’t usually stick around for breakfast...”
Gosh you look good like that, hair mussed in nothing but your boxers in my kitchen at the asscrack of dawn.
I bite my lip, “No.”
I take a step forward, placing my hands on your hips.
“No this is fine.”
You lean up, standing on the tips of your toes and wrapping your arms around my neck. You pull me into a kiss and I sigh into your mouth. The kiss is short and sweet, everything a morning kiss should be. You let me go and turn around. I don’t let you go, I keep my hold on your hips and pull you back. Pressing your back to my chest.
I bury my face into your hair mumbling a soft, “Good morning.”