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I was laying on my stomach, on the roof of the Homestead, looking down at Newt, who was standing below on the ground.
“Yeah, there’s no way I’m going to climb up there by myself,” he said. “I honestly have no idea how you did it, you were probably some sort of elite gymnast before all this.“
I rolled my eyes.
“Well, Mr Stiff Joints, you’re gonna have to find a way. I’m not gonna sit up here alone. That’s no fun.”
Newt thought for a moment, crossing his arms.
“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t.”
“Okay what if I lift you up. I should be able to do it. How much do you weigh?” I asked.
Newt opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off before he was able to.
“Wait! Let me guess! It depends on the scales?” I grinned widely, while Newt rolled his eyes so hard I was certain they were gonna get stuck that way.
Now, to anyone else, Newt looked annoyed by my jokes, but I knew he secretly found them very amusing. I mean, how couldn’t he? I’m a comedic genius. A personal favourite of mine was when I told Newt that he was “one in chameleon”, that was hilarious.
“Do you have any more lizard puns you want to make or can we move on?” asked Newt.
“Well…” I said. “I know this great joke about flying lizards, but it tends to drag on.”
Newt rolled his eyes again and shook his head, but that only made my grin grow.
“Just grab my hand you dufus,” he said as he reached his hand up. Still grinning, I took it and managed to lift him up on the roof.
We sat there for the rest of the night. Newt’s arm around me, and my head leaning on his shoulder. Looking at the stars until we fell asleep.
**********
A few weeks later I was sitting on a table with Newt, Minho and Thomas. Since I wasn’t a keeper, I was listening to Minho retell what Thomas had said that he remembered after he got stung.
“And apparently these aren’t even our real names,” Minho said. “We’re all named after famous scientists. Alby is named after Albert Einstein, Thomas after Thomas Edison, Newt is named after Isaac Newton-”
He was interrupted by a loud snigger that came from me at his last words. Everyone turned their head towards me. I instantly stilled and put my hand over my mouth to stop the laughing.
Newt, understanding what was about to happen, rolled his eyes.
“What?” he asked, exasperated.
“Nothing,” I quickly said after removing my hand from my mouth.
“Come on,” said Newt. “You’ve been teasing me for my name ever since you arrived here. Just say what you were thinking so we can get on with our lives.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I have been teasing you a lot, but I’m trying not to do it right now if you didn’t notice.”
“Why aren’t you doing it now, then?” he asked.
“Because I don’t wanna embarrass you.”
Newt rolled his eyes again.
“You’re building up the anticipation. It can’t be that bad. Just bloody say it!” Newt gestured with his hand for me to speak.
“No!” I said. “Shut up and let me be a good friend!”
“No, don’t!” said Minho. “I wanna hear it.”
“Just say it, Y/n,” said Newt.
“You’re so gonna regret this…” I mumbled.
“Just spit it out!”
“Fine!” I shouted, turning to Newt and looking him directly in the eyes. If Newt wouldn't listen to me he has to suffer the consequences. He will have no one but himself to blame for what happens next.
“I just thought it was funny you’re named after Isaac Newton of all people because he died a virgin.”
Newt instantly went red as Thomas and Minho burst into loud laughter. I grinned, watching Newt break eye contact with me out of embarrassment. He was right. I should’ve just said it immediately. The joke was far too funny to be kept from everyone else.
But I was a good friend. After a while, Thomas and Minho were still laughing loudly (especially Minho), and as a good friend I am, I decided to put Newt out of his misery and stop them.
“Oh come one, guys! Stop laughing,” I said seriously.
“This is why I didn’t wanna say anything. I knew that you guys wouldn’t be able to be mature about it,” I said scoldingly to Minho and Thomas. They looked down at the table in shame.
“Besides,” I added. ”He’s probably just having some problems with ereptile dysfunction.”
The boys started laughing even louder and Newts face turned the colour of a tomato.
Okay. Did I put Newt out of his misery? No. Did I make it even worse for him? Yes. But am I still a good friend? Yes. I am.
Things have been so grim lately, we’ve hardly had anything to laugh at for weeks. Everyone could do with a little more laughter. That’s why I did what I did. Now you might think that laughing at someone else’s expense is wrong, but I knew Newt wasn’t bothered by it. Since it was anything but true.