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As pissed and as terrified as Vegeta felt, a part of him thrummed in excitement over the thought of killing Frieza this time around. Even though his ki senses informed him he wasn’t alone, that the other presence with him registered as his father King Cold, his Saiyan blood burned for the upcoming fight. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t a Super Saiyan just yet. It didn’t matter that there was a high chance they would die. It didn’t matter that yet again, Vegeta would perish by his hands. As he flew over the wasteland, in the direction of that burning ki, only one image and one thought usurped his mind.
This time, he would be the one standing over Frieza’s cold, dead body. This time, he would be the one to ensure Frieza’s permanent demise. This time, Frieza would pay.
It didn’t surprise him when another ki—stronger and more powerful than Frieza’s and his own combined—registered in the far distance. Of course Goku showed up now. Of course he appeared right when Vegeta was so close by. It didn’t matter. Goku could pummel Frieza and his father to his heart’s content. As long as Vegeta produced the final blow. As long as he was the one who stabbed Frieza in the heart, or cut off his head clear from his neck, or burned him away into flecks of dust by the power of his ki blast.
When he and the others finally reached their destination, Vegeta stood firmly in place, his fists shaking by his sides. He didn’t care that he missed the fight. He didn’t care that he stared at Frieza’s remains and King Cold’s remains and the soldiers' remains strewn across the battlefield. All of his disappointment and pent-up rage centered on the being who caused this, the person who took away Vegeta’s chance of redemption and victory.
His inner rage boiled at the black hair, the muscled figure, the purple jacket, the Capsule Corp logo and the sword glinting in the sunlight. His unaddressed hatred and anger reached a crescendo as this being turned around and he came face-to-face with a living mirror. Same tanned skin. Same sharp cheekbones. Same eyes. Same smirk. Everything that made Vegeta who he was, save for three very obvious, very distinguishable differences.
The deep scar on his cheek, the bags under his tired eyes, and the spiky, golden locks swaying in the wind.
He lost the last semblance of his control when this bastard creature said in a condescending, bemused voice—his exact same voice: “About time you showed up.”
Vegeta answered himself back with a bellowing roar and a punch right to his jaw.
***
Ten minutes later, Vegeta sat on the far end of the barren field, as far away as possible from everyone, nursing his bruised left arm. He maintained his back turned to everyone, glaring at the ground while he listened to his other self explain what was going on. He absorbed the details Vegeta deemed important: from the future, Androids coming in three years, must stop them.
He remained neutral and stoic when his future self informed everyone the reason why the Androids destroyed their world without any issue. Goku died in the future. Heart virus. No cure. Androids killed everyone, except Vegeta and Gohan. None of these facts disturbed him as much as it did the others. The only thing that did disturb him was the way his future self spoke about Goku. As if he actually missed the idiot. As if the idiot meant something to him.
So now, they waited. Apparently, Goku was due to arrive soon from a planet called Yardrat. His future self warned them it might not happen though, since his arrival altered their timeline. Goku might still be on Yardrat for all he knew. Or he might have contracted the heart virus already and was dead now. The prickly nature of time travel dictated uncertainty and risk.
When asked why his future self dared to go into the past, despite these risks, Vegeta wanted to punch himself stupid because of his response.
“I had to try,” his future self whispered, his tone—irritatingly—affectionate. “Kakarot would’ve done the same thing.”
Vegeta snarled under his breath, “Idiot.” He ground his teeth together, shutting his eyes tight.
***
Twenty minutes later, Vegeta noticed the ki of his future self venturing closer towards him. He snapped his head up to glare at him, warning him to back off without a word said.
Much to his chagrin, his future self simply rolled his eyes and pushed forward a can of soda. In the nearby distance, the others dove into a mini fridge, helping themselves to their own cool drinks.
“I know coke’s your favorite,” Mirai Vegeta said.
Vegeta narrowed his eyes.
Mirai Vegeta raised an eyebrow.
In the background, Gohan and Krillin laughed over a joke Bulma said.
A gust of wind filled the silence between the two Vegeta’s.
Then, Mirai Vegeta deadpanned, “So, are you going to have a can of soda or are you still going to sulk?”
Vegeta bristled, snapping, “I’m not fucking sulking!”
“So you’re thirsty?”
“No!”
“Of course you’re not.”
Whatever Vegeta planned on saying next died on his lips at the sudden incoming ki descending rapidly from the sky above. His future self dumped the can to the ground, rushing in the direction of the battle pod heading towards Earth. Vegeta and the others followed behind him, the Earth itself rumbling from the impact of the pod hitting the ground.
By the time Vegeta arrived to the newly formed crater, Goku emerged from the pod, dressed in weird clothing, his body in Super Saiyan form. His look of anger transformed into a look of shock as he absorbed his surroundings, all of his friends and family cheering in happiness at his arrival. He watched Goku float up to the surface, landing onto the ground while scratching his head.
Before Goku said anything, Mirai Vegeta rushed up to him, arms outstretched. “Kakarot!” Something inside Vegeta churned and ached at the sight of his future self grasping Goku’s biceps, squeezing them tight, as if Goku was about to disappear before his very eyes. “You’re alive! Oh thank God!”
That ache intensified inside Vegeta at the sight of Goku’s cheeks blooming a bright pink. “Vegeta…?” Goku tilted his head up and down, visibly half recoiling from his future self’s embrace, half leaning into it. “You really missed me?”
It took all of Vegeta’s self-control—what was left of it—to not march over and punch himself in the face, again, when his future self smiled in a way Vegeta hated seeing. “Heh.” A smile riddled with blasted affection and palpable relief. “I never stopped.”
***
That first meeting never left Vegeta’s mind. For three years, he mulled over the details of that day again and again. How overjoyed his future self was seeing Goku. How touchy-feely he was around Goku. Holding his bicep or forearm. Standing close to him. Resting a palm against the middle or small of his back. Gazing at Goku as if he was the most important person in the universe and yet terrified he would disappear at any moment.
His future self’s last moments with Goku haunted Vegeta. The warning Mirai Vegeta imparted upon Goku about his apparent impending death and the Androids. The way he embraced Goku, crushing Goku in a huge bear hug, burying his face into the crook of Goku’s neck. The lingering hands on Goku’s back, tracing down his sides, the tips of their noses brushing, showcasing an intimacy that sickened and angered Vegeta at the same time.
He trained relentlessly after that fateful day. Pushed his body and his mind to its limits and beyond. No matter how many times he fought, the image of his future self leaning in towards Goku, only to pause and yank himself away from doing whatever he was about to do, still haunted him. So did the wistful, sad smile his future self sent Goku’s way before he entered the time machine.
Unacceptable. Unwanted.
Unworthy.
He trained in the Gravity Room, in space, fought against impossible odds and came out the other side stronger than before. He pushed back these undesirable, unaddressed feelings his future self brought out of him into Bulma, bedding her repeatedly in a desperate attempt to wash away what festered inside. But nothing worked. He couldn’t train away the jealousy and longing he felt from how close his future self acted around Goku. He couldn’t fuck away the pointed look his future self shot his way as he disappeared into the sky. The very obvious, very pleading look of someone entrusting Vegeta with something precious. Someone precious. To not fail. To protect.
For three years, Vegeta ignored it and rejected it, to the best of his ability. He trained. He fucked. He trained some more. He ignored Goku and his attempts for friendship. He mocked him, taunted him, belittled him, anything to drive the man away. He didn’t care that Goku gave him these sad, hurtful looks. Didn’t care that Goku sometimes commented, “I thought you cared,” and “I wish you were like him,” and “I guess you do hate me.” He ignored the ache inside. The stupid yearning. The need to tell Goku otherwise, because whatever he felt didn’t belong to him but to a part of himself Vegeta rejected.
So when that fateful day in May finally arrived, Vegeta ensured he remained far, far away from everyone. Still out in space. Still training with his newly found Super Saiyan form, the power within his possession after coming to terms with a reality only he was okay accepting, never vocalizing. Then when the Androids attacked and began decimating the city and murdering its people, Vegeta took his time coming back, opting to watch from afar until he felt like stepping in. And when Goku collapsed to the ground, clutching his chest and wheezing for air, Vegeta stood on the sidelines and laughed at the image inside his mind of his future self and the glare he sent his way that day. He didn’t care about Goku. He didn’t care about anyone or anything. Only power. Only strength.
He watched this android drain Goku of his energy, watched the Super Saiyan form dissipate from his weakened frame and he grinned, the three-year-old ache inside now a dull one. Just like Vegeta anticipated. Just like Vegeta trained to control. He proved his future self wrong. He proved his future self to be a lie. A phantom. Not him. Not real. Because no Vegeta in any timeline would ever care about Goku in any way, shape or form.
The moment Vegeta decided to intervene, a purple-and-black blur sped across his vision.
A sickening crunch of boots hitting flesh echoed throughout the barren, rocky wasteland.
Goku’s body collapsed to the ground as the android soared far across the terrain, landing a good distance away.
He snarled at the sight of his future self scrambling to Goku’s side, his hair flickering from gold back to black. “Kakarot!” Mirai Vegeta dragged Goku on his lap with one arm, his body shaking all over. “I have a pill here.” The other hand dug out inside of the jacket the medication. “I’m gonna need you to swallow this, okay?”
Vegeta announced his presence by flaring into Super Saiyan. The others reacted the way he hoped for—shouting in awe, crying out their surprise, wondering when he became Super Saiyan, commenting on how powerful he was now.
His future self didn’t chime in with them. He didn’t even acknowledge him. He focused solely on Goku, feeding him the pill with that trembling hand, the other one petting Goku’s black hair in gentle strokes.
“Hmph.” Vegeta crossed his arms, glaring at the back of Mirai Vegeta. “If you’re really my ‘future’ self, tell me why the hell I’d give a damn about Kakarot.”
For a moment, his future self remained silent, his attention zeroing in on Goku’s throat swallowing the pill. The sound of Goku’s painful wheezing hit his ears, the agony of the virus obvious in his weakened, pale frame. Soon, Goku slumped in his future self’s arms with a sigh, his head lolling onto his chest, his cheek pressing over the area of Vegeta’s heart.
His future self cradled Goku closer to his chest with his shaky arms. Fingertips brushed Goku’s pale cheek, sweeping away a few bangs from his forehead.
Vegeta froze when his future self sneered, “I don’t expect my ‘younger’ self to understand.” Then he snapped his attention over his shoulder and glared at him with such vitriol, it punched Vegeta in the gut like a powerful ki blast. “Especially when he’s too busy being bitter and stupid.”
All of his pent-up rage exploded to the surface in an instant, Vegeta’s golden aura flaring brighter. “W-Why you—!!”
“Fight me later.” Mirai Vegeta came to his feet, holding Goku’s limp form in his arms. “I’ll take him to Kami House while you guys kill those androids.”
Gohan’s question cut off his next snarky remark. “Is my dad gonna be okay?”
He wanted to throttle his future self by the way he gazed at Goku’s unconscious form. “Yes.” How he looked at Goku as if he was the most important person in the universe. The same way he did three years ago. “He’ll be okay.” How his eyes shined as his voice lowered, taking on a soft, wistful, almost broken edge that pissed Vegeta off more than anything. “I made sure of it this time around.”
He released more of his bottled up rage in a shout of, “Get the fuck out of here already!”
His future self smirked just like he himself did. Instead of the smart ass response Vegeta hoped for, his future self did something much worse: he cupped the side of Goku’s cheek and pressed his face closer to his chest, thumb rubbing the pale cheekbone.
Vegeta suppressed his outbursts, refusing to take the bait. He snarled as he watched them fly away, his golden aura flaring higher the more he stared out into the distance. His clenched fists shook. His teeth ground together.
He muttered under his breath, “You weakling.”
Piccolo’s snort and subsequent snarky comment caught Vegeta’s attention. “You or him?”
The androids’s next attack stopped Vegeta from snapping back at Piccolo.
***
By the end of the week, the fight ended, changing their future as intended. They stopped the original androids from awakening, taking them to Bulma and reprogramming them so they no longer possessed their bombs nor their destructive personalities. Seventeen and Eighteen now worked as employees of Capsule Corp. Cell arrived, something his future self warned them about, and they defeated him before he ruined their hard-fought victory.
As expected, a party commenced at Capsule Corp. A celebration Vegeta fully intended to ignore, opting instead to continue his training. Bulma insisted he showed his face at least for the food and for his newborn son at some point, which he agreed against his better judgement. Part of him said yes for the food. The other part of him said yes in order to track his future self down and give him a piece of his mind. He wasn’t about to demand how his future self became so much stronger than both he and Kakarot, having acquired another level of Super Saiyan at some point in the future. He planned on chewing him out for holding back for so long, all for the sake of not ‘interfering’ until absolutely necessary.
When he emerged from the Gravity Chamber, his future self was nowhere to be found. Nor was Goku. Bulma caught him before he could disappear and seek them out, so he allowed himself to ‘mingle’ with everyone for a few minutes. Most of them kept their distance. When they did approach, it was to say ‘hello’ and eat all the mountains of food alongside him.
The only one who dared a conversation with him was Piccolo. A one-sided conversation that informed Vegeta of his counterpart’s whereabouts. “He’s leaving tomorrow,” Piccolo said, filling up a cup of fresh water. “Told me he wanted to speak with Goku before that. Dunno what about… but I’m sure you don’t care.”
Vegeta answered him with a scowl.
Piccolo snickered. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Another ten minutes passed by, wherein he located his future self’s ki on the far side of Capsule Corp, along with Goku’s. Once he got the ‘okay’ from Bulma to head on out, Vegeta headed in their direction, suppressing his own ki to an abysmal level in order to not be noticed or detected.
He found them out by the gardens, sitting on the concrete edge of a Capsule Corp’s man made fountain. The moonlight and the solar garden lights played well off the water, casting the right amount of shadows onto their bodies and faces. Goku sat almost knee-to-knee with his future self, dressed not in his usual orange gi, but in khaki pants and a sleeveless black tank top.
Vegeta hid behind a gigantic green hedge, glaring at his future self laughing along with Goku. How his future self gazed at him with that damned soft look, again. The way his future self tilted his head and observed Goku’s body from head to toe, his attention lingering on Goku’s muscled arms, corded neck and the curve of his jawline.
Over the sound of running water, Goku coughed, “Oh man! Hehehe, I can’t believe Panchy still does that!” He let out a final giggle, wiping at his eyes. “Poor Bulma. Poor you!”
“She means well.”
“Hehe, she does! But man!” Goku blinked his eyes open, grinning from ear-to-ear. “It’s good to know some things are the same, y’know?”
“Mm.”
Vegeta frowned at the sight of Goku’s grin waning a little, becoming a little softer. Almost sweeter. “Thanks for taking care of them all for me. Not just ChiChi and Gohan, but everyone. I really appreciate it.” He sighed and that smile disappeared completely. “I’m sorry you went through all that—”
“Kakarot.” He suppressed his growl as he watched his future self touch Goku’s hand. “It’s fine.”
“No it isn’t—”
“You didn’t intentionally get that virus.”
“Sure, but—”
“You needed to stay in space after Frieza.” Vegeta ground his teeth together as his future self twined their fingers together. “You told me why when you came back. I never blamed you then and I sure as hell won’t let you blame yourself now.”
Goku snapped his head away, tilting his chin down towards the fountain water. Even from this distance, Vegeta made out Goku’s reflection. The anguish. The hurt and the confusion. “My future self told you a lot of stuff, didn’t he?”
“He did.”
“Hm.” Vegeta suppressed another growl at the sight of Goku squeezing Mirai Vegeta’s hand. “Only you… and no one else.”
“No.”
“Vegeta…” Goku finally lifted his head back towards his future self. He searched his face, whispering, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you here? Why did you come back and not anyone else?” Vegeta growled, watching Goku’s free hand cup his future self’s cheek. “What happened between you and me?” He clenched his fists at the sight of Goku leaning closer, whispering, “You don’t like me…”
It took all of Vegeta’s willpower not to rush in and punch his future self in the face when he pressed their foreheads together, noses touching. How his future self untwined their hands, only to cup Goku’s whole face into his palms, their lips too close to Vegeta’s liking. Way, way too close.
The rage inside, three-plus years in the making, built to a crescendo as his future self whispered back what Vegeta never ever wanted to hear said aloud.
“I never hated you.” Vegeta’s vision turned red as his future self leaned closer, lips so close to brushing. “How could I ever hate someone like you?”
Goku’s eyelids fluttered shut. “Vegeta…”
“Kakarot…”
The moment their lips met, Vegeta stormed away with a huge burst of ki, the hedge he hid behind incinerating in his wake.
***
For hours, Vegeta sat in the wasteland where he first met Goku all those years ago. When the sun rose in the distance, he registered the ki he knew and hated most in this entire universe landing behind him. He stayed perfectly still as that ki came closer to him, until it plopped down beside him and mimicked his exact pose: hugging one leg to his chest, the other swung over the edge of the rock formation they sat on.
After another blissful moment of silence, Mirai Vegeta said, “You love him.”
“Ah—”
“Shut the fuck up, child.”
Vegeta shot him a side-eyed glare.
His future self shot him that exact same glare in return. He continued, “You love him. You always have. But you didn’t realize it until that virus hit. By then, it was too late. You only had so much time with him left before he passed on.”
“Hmph.” Vegeta turned his attention back to the sunrise. “That’s your problem. Not mine.”
“I know. I made sure it stayed my problem only.”
“Tch.” He started to climb to his feet—
A strong hand snatched up his wrist, yanking him back down. The warning squeeze stopped Vegeta’s protest cold, the power behind that grip dangerously close to breaking his bones, even without the Super Saiyan form.
“Sit down,” his future self sneered. “Now.”
Instead of fighting, Vegeta acquiesced with a grunt. He settled back down, keeping his body and his head turned away.
His future self released his wrist. The area pulsed and throbbed as time passed.
He barely heard Mirai Vegeta’s voice over the wind. “You will never know the pain I’ve gone through.” That voice increased in volume and intensity as he spoke. “You’ll never watch him wither away into a shell of who he was, trying to be strong for everyone, but falling apart when the two of you are alone. You’ll never watch the life leave his eyes before you could even tell him those damned three words, your body gaining that next level of transformation at the cost of his life. You’ll never be the one holding everyone together when the world goes to hell, wondering if you’re enough, if you’re worthy, if you’re the person he believed in. You’ll never be the one filling his shoes for the rest of your life, protecting and helping everyone he loves and cares for on this planet, all in the hopes that it’ll be enough to outweigh the sins of your past. So you can see him again one day. Be with him again. Tell him—” His vision blurred at the crack in his future self’s voice. “—dammit, Vegeta, just fucking tell him.”
He managed to choke out, “I can’t.”
“Of course you can’t. You never can. Let me guess why.” His future self’s questions stabbed his heart, one after another. “Because you’re not me? Because I’m what he needs? Because I’m stronger in every sense of the word and deserve him more than you do?” His future self’s mocking laugh provided the final blow, as did his subsequent sneer. “Maybe I am. Maybe I should take him back to my time. I’ll treat him better than you ever will. I’ll give him everything you can’t. Y’know why?” The wounds inside cauterized the instant his future self leaned in and hissed into his ear, “Because you’re a weakling. A pathetic excuse for a Saiyan. A false prince.”
Red consumed his vision.
All the rage, the hurt, the pent-up emotions he had no name for, it all erupted in Vegeta’s scream.
His body burned alive. His mind burned alive.
One word coursed through his body and soul. One word usurped all thought and reason. A primal word. A Saiyan word.
Mine.
His vision cleared little by little. Gold aura. Teal eyes. His own golden aura. Sparks of electricity.
His future self gawked at him, radiating waves of fear and shock.
Vegeta sneered right into his face, “Stay the fuck away from my Kakarot.”
He frowned at the smirk his future self gave him, along with the words he choked out. “A-About time.”
***
Later that day, Vegeta attended the farewell party of his future counterpart. He observed him from afar, how he interacted with everyone with an ease Vegeta wondered if he himself would possess one day. When it came time to wish Goku goodbye, Vegeta snarled at his future self, warning him with just a glare alone. Mirai Vegeta simply smirked and answered back with a nod.
Goku crushed Mirai Vegeta to him in a final hug. He overheard their final whispers, the sincerity and sadness in Goku’s murmured, “Thank you. I’ll miss you. Please be safe.” The same sadness in Mirai Vegeta’s reply. “I will.” As they pulled back, Vegeta prepared himself for a potential kiss between them. His body sagged in relief when it didn’t happen. His future self merely brushed his fingertips across the side of Goku’s face, tracing his cheekbone and jawline. Goku leaned into the touch and chased after it when Mirai Vegeta pulled his hand away, turned on his heel and walked towards the time machine.
He didn’t bother exchanging words with his future self. As Mirai Vegeta passed him by, Vegeta flipped him off from under his armpit. He smirked when his counterpart repeated the gesture, returning that same smirk.
Vegeta waited for the party to disperse before he acted upon what his future self offered him. Just as Goku was about to transmit away with his family, Vegeta approached him and asked, “Care to spar?”
Goku grinned. “Really?”
He nodded, observing everyone’s reactions around the two of them. ChiChi rolled her eyes with a smile. Gohan chuckled. Bulma in the distance winked at him. Just like his future self said. They all knew, way before they themselves even noticed.
Vegeta turned on his heel and blasted off into the sky, heading in the direction of the wasteland they first met. Goku trailed behind him for a brief moment before flying alongside him. It didn’t take long to reach their destination.
The sun began to set as they landed on the rock formation he and his future counterpart stood on earlier in the day. Goku stood right beside him, their forearms nearly brushing. “Hey, I know this place! This is—mmph!”
Vegeta pulled back from their abrupt kiss to look Goku in the eye and say the words his future self never had the opportunity to. “I love you.”
All the doubt, the anger, every shred of fear and anxiety disappeared at the beautiful sight of Goku’s soft gasp and subsequent disbelieving whisper. “W-What?”
“I love you.”
He laughed at Goku’s stuttering. “W-What—wha—wait, w-wait—you, you said—you s-said—” His shaking head and his labored, wet breathing. “You?? You l-love—you, and me, and—wait, you said—” His unsure grin. “You love me?” His gaze—that gaze, the one he gave his future self—now focused on him and him alone. “You love me…”
“Yes, you idiot.” He chuckled at Goku’s huff and subsequent giggle, a sound Vegeta caused by the kisses he planted onto Goku’s neck and jawline. “I love you.”
“Did your future self—”
“—make me jealous, yes, now shut up or else.”
“Hehe, I knew it.”
“What the fuck did I just say?”
He laughed along with Goku, pulling the two of them down to the ground. He covered Goku with his body, kissing him again and again, the way Vegeta needed for years. The way he planned on kissing Goku for the rest of their lives.
Somewhere in another timeline, on another Earth, Vegeta knew his future self was laughing. This time, the thought of his counterpart smiling made him smile too.