Work Text:
Kim Secretan let himself into his flat in the early hours of Sunday, having been dropped off there by DS. They had been in Germany for a month handling a delicate political farce, which though ending up more violent than DS anticipated, had been resolved to all parties satisfaction. Kim had enjoyed seeing DS’s crafty mind at work, and although the time away from Will had chafed more than he expected, he had appreciated the opportunity.
Having slept on the train, Kim did not feel the need to rest, and decided to have a wash, and write up his report for the bureau till morning, when he could go over to Will’s. He smiled in anticipation. Due to the secretive nature of the mission, Will had not been able to write to him, only including a few lines on their other projects, in general bureau correspondence. Well aware that these were probably checked by at least two parties, one the bureau, and the other suspicious minds at the Germany end. Still, the familiar scrawl had been so welcome.
Kim had written, whiling away the waiting hours, detailing information about where he was, things he saw (without compromising the mission). A monologue he would have shared with Will if he was there anyway. It had surprised him, how much he wanted to share and how easily the words had come.
He let himself into his room dropping his coat on the armchair and turned towards the bathroom, to suddenly stop, stilled in shock. Will lay on his bed fast asleep. Turned sideways, his oh-so-beloved face towards Kim’s side of the bed, an outstretched hand resting in the middle, where Kim’s chest would normally have been. Kim’s throat clogged at the sight. He stood still for a few moments, taking in the sight, torn between joining Will, waking him up with kisses, desperate to be held in his strong arms, and letting Will sleep. He looked tired, with faint shadows below his eyes, and that decided Kim. He would leave Will to his rest, morning would come soon enough. He gently picked up his dressing gown and retreated to use the visitor’s bathroom outside.
Having divested him of the grime and smell of Germany, and the train, Kim felt refreshed and relaxed, as he seated himself at his desk, to work on his report. He would get it out of the way, then he would have the day free to spend with Will. A warmth, having little to do with the electric fire, enveloped Kim as he started work. He worked steadily on the notes he had and opened the drawer to get more paper. On top of his pile of stationary were some folded notes. Kim frowned and picked them up, his letters to Will he realized, and in Will's distinctive hand, pages of letters he had written to Kim in reply. Kim smoothed his hand on the sheets, touched by the gesture, conscious of Will's loneliness, which had made him put thoughts to paper, something Will did rarely.
His report forgotten, Kim settled on the sofa and read them in order. His letters and Wills humorous and chatty answers. Perhaps because they were never to be sent, there was nothing held back. And he realized he should probably have to burn these, because while there was nothing explicit in them, which could be used to prosecute them or provide much-needed fodder for the scandal sheets, anyone reading them could not but realize the feelings they had for each other.
“… Peacock telephoned when your note arrived. When I was picking it up, he said quite ordinarily, “I will see you on Saturday night for dinner Mr. Darling” … and I nodded out of habit until it struck me as I was going down the steps. So that is what we did. I would come on Saturday night and sleep over, for all the world as if you were here, and leave after a late breakfast on Sunday. Peacock is not chatty, so we mostly discussed sports, and I think he missed you, and he helped me miss you a little less”
“I could not help chuckling aloud at your description about Frau Hubert at the embassy. God but I wished I could have been there. I would have dearly loved joining in that ensuing melee …”
“...I’ve been playing cricket with some guys down at the pub. I went there one morning after breakfast on Sunday, and Giles invited me to join him. You remember Giles, the one who served in Dieppe. He is from south of Kent, and we had some good times talking about the country and the war, and where we ended up”
“.. Pheobe and Maisy wrote about the success of their first presentation. They were so hyped about it… and now they have backorders for the next 3 months. Those girls are so clever. I wished I could have been there to celebrate their success, but you know it's not my scene. I would feel so completely out of place there without your lordly presence. “A wink crudely drawn.
A few scratched-out lines, and a short “ I miss you” was all that was in one note, the writing more intense, the pen scratching into the paper. Kim breathed in sharply, feeling his pain.
“Last Sunday we played a match against a team from Sussex. It seems this is turning to be a more formal club. It felt good to hobnob with the boys, and I didn’t realize how much I missed sport. We went to the pub afterwards and it was quite a night, Tom, Giles you know, had everyone laughing with a number of good stories “
“So I finally sold the Spartan collection... I had despaired of it and was thinking of taking it down from the shelves and putting something else on display, when the weirdest looking gent came, asked for it by name, barely glanced at the books, and ordered them delivered to his home. It was fishy to the extreme, but that is probably my experience, or my Bureau training in play. It is never possible to know customers or what they will buy. Hmm... Look at you, Lord Author buying scandalous books in secret bookshops in Frankfurt. I look forward to improving my mind... or being improved by your newly found knowledge … “
The dissolute sun had made its way into the sky, and the light was spilling in through the windows when Kim finished. He heard sounds of Peacock in the kitchen, and went through, putting away the precious notes. He would have to find a stash for it, he was not going to destroy them.
Will walked sleepily into the kitchen when Kim was at the table drinking tea and reading the morning paper. Having tea in the kitchen was a habit they had picked up after Will started staying over on Saturday. His eyes widened, and a smile split his face, Kim knew, his face mirrored the same expression, he could feel his cheeks aching. Will crossed round to him, and slipped his arms around Kim's shoulders from the back, planting a kiss in his hair, squeezing him tight. Peacock busied himself at the stove making breakfast, but still, Kim couldn’t kiss Will here, he moved his head against Will's cheek and brought his hand up to squeeze the arms that gripped him still.
“Good morning!” he said when he was sure he could do it without his voice breaking.
“Morning” smiled Will disengaging to sit in his usual chair. Peacock deposited Wills tea in front of him, and they talked idly of this and that, Will excusing him to use the telephone, and Kim to get dressed as Peacock finished making breakfast.
The minute Peacock left Will was on him, pushing him against the counter, hands buried in his hair, his lips seeking Kim’s like a drowning man reaching for water. Kim’s arms wrapped around him hugging him tightly, trying to burrow into Will's larger frame.
“Bedroom” he managed to mumble, when they finally came up for air, his back was hurting where it was being pushed into the counter.
Some pleasurable hours and a huge breakfast later, they sat in the parlor. Will prone on the couch reading, Kim proofreading his report or trying to, but mostly watching Will, his heart full. His body ached pleasantly of their activities, and he wanted nothing more than to curl into Will and spend the day wrapped up in him. Then an unwelcome thought intervened.
“So when do have to show up for your cricket match?” Kim asked, his voice carefully casual. It was absurd, he should feel happy Will found something to do in the weekend, he missed the companionship of the army days, and he seemed to have regained some of that.
Will lifted his head and looked at him.
“You’ve read my letters” he said, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.
“Well they were addressed to me…” Kim started apologetically, feeling he had violated some code, had Will not meant for him to find them?
“Yes... Yes, they were for you“ Will smiled.
“I called Tom this morning and canceled”
Kim was a bit confused to what he was referring to, Tom, Giles of course, the cricket guy.
“You are here, I thought we’d spend the day... unless... “ Will trailed off.
Kim put aside his papers and walked over to join Will. Sliding into the space between the sofa and Wills large frame, half lying on top of him. He lay his head on Will's shoulder, the place that always seemed to be made for him. He heard the steady thump of the heartbeat under him and felt soothed, the unfamiliar worry brushed away.
“I missed this” Will said, running his fingers through Kim’s hair, his fingers soothing, his breath a warm huff in Kim’s face.
“I missed the other too...“ A vague gesture towards the bedroom to indicate their previous activities and back to smoothing his hair. “But mostly this, the mornings”
Kim stroked his chest, content to be held. The familiar warmth of Will so welcome after the month of being alone. They were silent, the way they sometimes were. Just lying there, in each other’s arms.
Kim cleared his throat, he knew this was stupid, but he always scratched at scabs, a history of wanting to hurt himself.
“So you made some new friends...” his face still in Will's chest. Hand still stroking.
Will huffed.
“Not friends really, perhaps Tom .., the others come and go”
“So he wasn’t after you delicious body” Kim couldn’t stop the question.
Will’s hand stilled for a second, and then continued his stroking, Kim loved his hands like this.
“Well he needed a hint, but afterwards he understood”
“He had the effrontery to say I was being used, that I was your piece of meat. Had to set him straight”
“Hmm” Kim said, surprised by the relief he felt, then he realized who he was talking to. He raised his head and looked at Will. Hint?
“Did he need stiches?”
Will laughed, his chest shaking below Kim’s.
“No, but the bruise was spectacular” Kim couldn’t help but join in the laughter.
Kim lay his head down again. The tiredness of the days catching up with him. Content to be in Will's arms wrapped up in him.
“I thought jealousy was hopelessly bourgeois” Will murmured after a time, still stroking his hair softly perhaps not even aware of it.
Kim stilled, realizing the alien feeling when Will had named it. Huh!
“Perhaps I hadn’t loved anyone before” Kim said finally, voicing the thought to himself as well as to Will.
Wills arms came up to hold him close. His face turning to press a kiss on Kim’s forehead.
“Me neither”