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“Fuckin hell, I love you.” Walter was breathless as he kissed Alexander, his good hand cupping the side of his face and the other tightly gripping his side. Their hips were pressed flushed together, body heat being exchanged between one another. The Salvonian had to tilt his head up to be able to reach the other, and Nox held him close.
“Can’t wait to be in ya.” Walter mumbled against the other’s lips, and he pulled away to bite at his reddened ear. A shiver ran through the chemist’s body at the stimulation. His ears had always been a sensitive erogenous zone, and Walter made good use of it. Alexander let his head tip back, and Fitzroy took the opportunity to mouth along the tendons of his neck. Nox knew how much the other enjoyed leaving marks on him, but he had made it very clear that visible areas were off limits. He sighed when Walter undid the first few buttons of his shirt, and he swallowed thickly when the smaller man bit at his upper chest.
“You’re needy tonight.” Alexander remarked softly, pulling his partner closer to kiss him again. Walter grabbed anything within reach, his grip tight and hungry. Nox’s eyes fluttered with arousal with the other bit at his lower lip, and any sound he had made was quickly swallowed up.
“And you’re lookin like a real beauty tonight.” Walter emitted a humored chuckle at his own remark, briefly pressing his tongue into the other’s mouth. He snaked a hand into the chemist’s open button-up, and he gently began to toy with a nipple. A small groan slipped from Alexander’s lips at the feeling, and another shiver ran through his body from the starkly contrasting temperature of Walter’s metal fingers. The Salvonian began to grind against his hips, and Nox dropped his head down to rest it on the other’s shoulder.
“Bedroom?” Walter asked with a grin, and Alexander responded with a concise nod. They made their way to their shared bedroom, the larger man staggering backwards when Walter refused to break their embrace. Nox didn’t fight it when his partner pushed him onto the bed, and he breathed calmly when the smaller man straddled him. Walter began to grind against him, his hands braced on Alexander’s chest as he did so. He made soft noises of pleasure as he pressed up against the other, Nox holding him by the hips. He leaned down to kiss the larger man, and he snuck a hand between them to palm at Alexander’s groin…
Still completely soft.
“Need some help tonight, big fella?” Walter’s voice was patient as he spoke, and he smiled excitedly as he slipped down the other’s body. Nox spread his legs to offer better access, and his partner immediately worked on undoing the fastenings of his pants. Alexander’s cheeks reddened when the other pulled out his soft length, and they grew even redder when Walter took him into his mouth. However, it was obvious that the Salvonian didn’t care, as he worked to please him with just as much vigor as he always did. Fitzroy’s slick tongue and warm lips felt lovely around him, especially when he was taken all the way to base like that. Nox let his head fall back onto the bed, and he closed his eyes to focus on the sensations the other was offering him. Walter moaned softly around him, his tongue dipping down to press between the sensitive underside of the head and his foreskin. Alexander sighed in pleasure, and he relaxed when the older man tenderly rubbed up and down the clothed expanse of his muscular thighs. Nox lost himself in the sensation, and he didn’t realize how long it had been until Walter pulled off of him with a sigh. He looked down to see the older man rubbing at his jaw, and his chest immediately tightened. He still wasn’t hard.
“How ‘bout you take over? Do whatever feels best for ya right now.” Walter offered his idea up honestly, his voice still nothing but joyful. He slid up the bed until he was lying beside the other, and he immediately worked to kick his pants off. He wrapped his good hand around his cock and began to lazily pull at it, and Alexander followed suit. He stroked himself with rapid motions, his fingers tight around himself. He tried his hardest to stay focused, but the damage had already been done. Every minute that passed with him unable to grow erect only further added to his stress, and it soon turned into frustration. Seeing Walter hard and needy beside him made him turn his eyes away with embarrassment, and he rubbed at himself with increased intensity. He chewed at his lower lip with annoyance, now attempting to simply rub at the head of his dick with strong fingers. His breathing was growing heavier from his exertion, and the muscles in his arm began to burn. Meanwhile, Walter was mouthing at his shoulder as he edged himself, silently waiting for his partner as he pleased himself with ease. The feeling of having so little control over his own body made Alexander seethe with a storm of emotion, and he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Hey.” Walter interjected then, stilling his own motions and leaning over the larger man’s body. He angled his head to force Alexander to look at him, and Nox despised the pity he saw in his face. “S’alright.”
Alexander ignored the comments and continued stimulating himself, his entire body taut from the effort. He planted his foot on the bed to subtly attempt to block the other’s view, growing increasingly embarrassed that the older man was there to witness this. His grip was so tight that his sensitive skin was growing irritated, and he cursed under his breath as he let his head drop back again.
“Xander…it’s ok...” Walter’s voice was soft against his ear, obviously trying not to further upset the younger man. He let go of his own length and instead let the hand drop gently onto the chemist’s chest. “We don’t have to do it tonight.”
“No.” Alexander immediately returned, his voice stern and harsh.
“Yes, mate.”’ Walter insisted, a slight scowl forming on his face. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. It is obvious how much you desired this tonight.” Nox tried hard to keep any emotion from showing in his voice, but it was nearly impossible when he was so overwhelmed with it. His chest was so tight that it burned, not allowing him to breathe properly. He worked at himself with increased vigor, and it reached a point where his motions were nearly violent. He kept his eyes turned away when he spoke up. “If you hit me, it may help.”
Walter grew visibly upset.
“What?” He asked with disbelief, still attempting to catch the other’s eye.
“You know I am aroused by aggression. So strike me…hit me across the face.”
Silence fell between them, and it was so tense that it made Alexander feel like he was choking. With a tight grip on his wrist, Walter forced Nox’s hand away from himself.
“Mate, I’m not gonna hit ya upside the head just ‘cause ya can’t get it up.” His expression shifted from frustration then to concern, and he reached out to rest his hand along Alexander’s cheek. Gently, he forced him to accept the eye contact he was trying for. “What’s going on with you?”
Nox’s voice died in his throat when he heard the worry in the other’s voice, and the emotion that had been clawing away at his chest began to creep up his throat. His eyes began to burn, and he immediately sat up and turned away. He felt Walter carefully place a hand on his shoulder, and it was too much.
Knowing the other cared was too much.
Alexander launched himself to his feet and hurriedly retreated to the bathroom, loudly shutting the door and locking it behind him. The privacy allowed him to realize his feelings, and his vision soon blurred with tears. He gripped the edge of the counter so tightly that his knuckles went white, and he fought against the sounds that were threatening to slip from his throat. A mistaken glance up to the mirror took its toll, and he felt repulsed. Emotion looked wrong on his face. Foreign and utterly unbelonging. What did Walter see in him? He had nothing to offer to the man. He was cold, reserved. Socially inept.
And now he couldn’t even satisfy him sexually.
“Xander?” The Salvonian’s voice was muffled through the door, but Nox could still hear the concern in it. “Let me in.”
The pity was what he couldn’t handle.
In a sudden bout of self-hatred fueled rage, Alexander threw his arm forward. His fist collided with the mirror, and an unnatural noise of anger tore through his throat as the glass shattered. The shards clattered loudly as they rained down onto the counter and floor, and the door was instantly kicked open behind him. Everything felt like a blur as Walter embraced him and pulled him from the small room, his vision cloudy with unshed tears. The older man held him around the torso and dragged him to the bed, even as Nox fought with frustration. Walter held him in a crushing embrace, the strength of his mechanical arm offering no escape. The realization that he was stuck hit Alexander with force, and he let himself go limp against the other.
“Alexander, stop.” Walter called out to him, holding him tight. Nox fought to keep his emotions suppressed, and it resulted in a collection of ugly little sounds breaking free. “It’s ok.”
The Salvonian threaded a hand through Alexander’s hair, and the larger man silently leaned into the touch. Once his breathing had leveled out a bit, Walter shifted, and Alexander’s stomach contracted when the older man grabbed hold of his hand.
“Let’s clean this up.” He remarked quietly as he inspected the bloodied knuckles, his gaze focused. Nox remained silent as his partner moved quietly to the bathroom, and he kept his eyes downturned when he returned with a towel and a roll of bandages. Walter gently patted the blood from his hand with the damp cloth, and he ignored the burn it caused. He did his best to remain stoic and silent as the older man carefully picked out the few shards of glass embedded in his skin, but a soft hiss still escaped when the other thoroughly prodded at the wounded flesh in search of more. Walter began to wrap the bandage around his hand, and Alexander sighed when he pulled him back into an embrace once he was done.
“I’m sorry.” Alexander worked up the courage to utter the words that had been eating away at him, even if it was only a weak whisper. He heard the older man exhale heavily above him.
“The only thing I care about is how much of a prick ya are to yourself.” Walter sounded a bit annoyed, but the way he held the larger man was nothing but tender.
Alexander felt unbearably embarrassed by the entire night, and he despised himself for allowing such emotions to display themselves so easily. He was weak. “I have nothing to offer you, Walter.” His voice was soft when he spoke, his throat sore from his outburst. “And now I am also unable to please you.”
“Stop. Just stop it.” Walter pulled him closer and looked into his eyes, grabbing his hand to gently kiss the bandaged knuckles. “Ya treat me well, Xander. I wouldn’t be with ya if ya didn’t.”
Walter quietly began to undress, haphazardly tossing his clothes onto the floor. Alexander followed suit, and Fitzroy shifted so that they were closer to the head of the bed. He managed to pull the blankets over them, and Nox once more had to fight the emotion that clawed at his throat. He struggled to contain it. Why was he like this?
“We’re not ankle biters anymore, Caus. Shite like this happens, it’s normal.” He turned on his side to spoon the larger man, tightly wrapping an arm around him and pulling him into his stomach. “Just because I couldn’t get me rocks off tonight doesn’t mean you're not enough for me. Hell, half the time I’m too tired to walk when we’re done.”
Walter kissed the larger man anywhere he could reach, from the curve of his shoulder all the way up to his head. The intimate, understanding action made a tear finally break free and run down the side of the chemist’s nose, and his breath hitched in his chest.
“You’re all I need.” Fitzroy whispered into his ear, and he pulled him as close as possible. “I love you.”
Alexander couldn’t comprehend why, but he just couldn’t support the weight of his walls around Walter. Even though the older man always treated him with kindness and understanding, Nox felt almost unbearably exposed around him. He was forced to be honest with Walter—to exist as he truly was.
But…perhaps that was how it was supposed to be.
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