Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Unca Steve!” He turned around at the voice and dropped to his knees, Joannie crashing into him with a laugh, wrapping her little arms around his neck. 

“Hey!” He kissed her cheek as he stood up. She squealed in laughter at being given upsies without having to ask. “How are you, pumpkin?” 

“Good! Mama has the bags!” She explained as he readjusted her.

“Well, let’s go help her then!” He exclaimed, going straight to his little sister. “Gimme this.” He said, taking a large duffle bag and slinging it over his free shoulder. “Jesus, Mare, what did you bring? Your whole closet?” 

“Presents that Joannie wanted to bring for you guys.” She replied, booping her daughter on the nose before yanking Steve down to kiss his cheek. “Hi!”

“Hi.” He said, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her head. “How are you feeling? How was the flight?” 

“We slept most of the way, so we are okay and ready to crack on with the day.” She replied, grinning. “And the nice flight attendants gave us a colouring book, didn't they, baby?”

“Yeah!” Joannie nodded, still soaking up the cuddles with her uncle. “Where Unca Danno?”

“Uncle Danno’s home making lunch, and he made the pineapple and haupia pie you both like.” He told her, smiling when she cheered. Mary, on the other hand, looked worried. “Hey, you okay? Do you not like it anymore? Do you want me to tell Danny not to make it?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s just… I hoped I could talk to you alone, I didn’t realise Danny would be at home with us, is all.”

Steve froze at that. Did Mary… Did Mary not like Danny? Because she had always been fine with him hanging out with them and going over to his place to see the kids and eat with them but ever since they had started going out she… seemed weird about Danny.

“I-I guess I could ask him to leave the house for today or something. Adam has a pull out and Lou has a spare bed so he can crash there while you are here.” He stammered. He didn’t want to do that, he wanted Danny, his partner, the man he was in love with , at home where he belonged, but if Mary was being weird, Danny would blame himself for ruining Mary and Joanne’s trip to visit him. But if he asked him to leave, he’d be so hurt and he would push him away and he’d start expecting that he would dump him and he… He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t hurt Danny like that. “We’ll just rent a room and you can stay at home.” He said, already set on that.

Mary frowned at him. “I don’t understand. Why would he go to Adam’s, or Lou’s? And why would you go and rent a room?”

Steve froze, looking at her with wide eyes. “Mary, Danny… Danny and I live together. He moved it three months ago.” He told her. He was sure he mentioned it in passing, but maybe she didn’t catch it.

“Oh. He has? Steve, you should have told me, I would have gotten a motel room.” She said.

“I didn’t think it would be an issue. You two have always gotten along great and I know he was happy for you to come and stay with us. He even managed to get Rachel to swap their weekend so the kids could see you and Joannie, but I guess we’ll just cancel it.” He explained, dejectedly, his shoulders dropping.

“Steve, wait, I’m sorry.” She hurried to say, holding his hand. “I didn’t mean it like that. I like Danny, he’s fun and he’s great with kids and loves Joannie and makes sure you stay alive."

"But?" He knew there was something more. It was obvious there was.

Mary shook her head. "I don't think this is something we should talk about in the car, Steve. I was hoping we could talk at home, or at a café, so if..." She replied.

"No." He interrupted her, shaking his head. "You clearly have an issue with Danny, and I want to know what it is, because it came outta nowhere and I can’t…” He sighed, putting Joannie on her kiddie seat and kissing her forehead when she grinned at him. “I can’t figure out why you don’t seem to like him now that he’s with me.”

Mary sighed too, it was clear Steve was not dropping this and the truth was that she did like Danny. He was fun and smart as she had just said, she kept her brother safe. Just for that, she liked him. But she was worried that Steve was putting Danny’s needs before his.

He had always done that, ever since they were kids. With her, with his friends… He liked making people happy by doing things for them, and that was great, until he forgot that he too had his own needs.

And with Danny…

“He’s asexual.” She blurted out.

Steve tensed at her words. Yes, Danny was asexual. As he had always been and as he had always said. Not once had Danny lied about it or hidden it. Hell, the man wore a damn ace ring, so he had no idea where she was coming from.

“Yes. He is.” He replied, pulling out of the parking lot. “What about it?”

Mary stared at him. “He’s asexual, and he’s said before that he doesn’t feel the urge to have sex, which I guess means that you two haven’t had any, right?” 

Steve glared at her, lips curling. “I don’t see how any of this is your damn business, Mary.” He hissed, anger starting to bubble at the pit of his stomach.

“It is if it’ll make you unhappy.” She snapped back. “No one can stay without having sex for that long, Steve besides people like him. No matter how much you love him, you’ll end up unhappy and wanting out.”

Steve’s hand tightened on the wheel and had it not been because Joannie was in the car he would have pulled over and had some very serious, very loud words with Mary.

“My love for Danny is not conditional to whether we have sex or not. I love him for the man he is.” He said. “I knew that when we started going out, when he moved in. And I would never force him to have sex with me. He’s far too important.” 

Mary pursed her lips. “He still should try and… He’s had sex, he’s got kids, so I don’t understand why he can’t have it with you.”

He turned around to look at her, struggling to understand what was going on through her mind. “Again, that has nothing to do with you. Or me, for that matter. That’s something between him and Rachel, all I got from it are two amazing kids that I love as if they were my own. I will never force Danny to have sex with me. That’s rape, Mary.”

“I never said…! That’s not what I meant!” She exclaimed, a  look of horror crossing her face.

Good.

“Isn’t it? Because it sure sounded like that.”

“Of course not!” She insisted, shaking her head. “I just want you to be happy.”

Steve refrained from the urge to huff at her. “I am happy.” He replied. “I have never been happier. Danny loves me, the kids love me, I’ve got great friends and despite what you believe, I don’t need sex.” He paused for a second, glancing at her. “Because I’ve never needed it.”

Mary turned to look at him, eyes wide as saucers. “What?”

Steve sighed. He knew he should have told her sooner, but the truth was he was still figuring himself out, he was still trying to find a label that fit, or the one that fit the best.

“I said, I’ve never needed sex.” He repeated, relaxing his hands. “As a matter of fact, I’ve never had sex.”

Mary kept staring at him, her growing confusion becoming clear in her eyes before it was replaced by slight anger. “I get it, ok? Back off your relationship, you don’t have to lie to me. I know you’ve had sex. I met Catherine, remember?”

“I’m not lying, Mary, ok? Yes, you met Catherine. Who was staying in the guest room because she’s a lesbian and just like me, she could not tell.” He said. “So she stayed at my place, we went on dates where we knew people would see us, dates that were usually me pointing out cute girls to her, and that way everyone believed we were together, and they didn’t ask.” He explained. 

“What? Then... Why, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you tell me you were bi?” She questioned, mind reeling at all this brand new information.

“Mama?” Joannie whimpered. “No fighting, mama.” 

Mary closed her eyes before turning around to smile at her daughter. “Sorry sweetie, mama and Uncle Steve are not fighting, ok?” She said, tickling her tummy until she giggled.

Only then Mary turned around.

“So?”

“I didn’t because I’m still… I’m still figuring it out, okay?” He explained. “I always thought that maybe I would “meet the one” and all that BS but that’s the thing Mare, I’ve met him, I live with him and yeah, Danno’s hot and I like him, but I dont’... I have never looked at him, or anyone else for that matter, and thought that I wanted to have sex with them.”

She furrowed. “Oh. Then why…?”

“Because I knew I could fall in love with anyone, so I thought that meant I had to be gay. Because I can watch PO-R-N just fine,” Mary scrunched her nose at that but she was the one who wanted to know about his sex life, so she could suck it up. “but the second I imagine myself in that situation it makes my stomach flip. And not in a good way. And I don’t even watch it much to begin with.”

She didn’t say anything, she simply nodded. They rode in silence for a while.

He had no idea what was going on through her head, but at this point he didn’t care. Mary had no right to question his relationship like that, or demand explanations as to why he had, or had not, told her about his new revelations.

It had been a weird journey, going from identifying as bisexual to biromantic asexual. 

The main clue had been that he hadn’t wanted to have sex. When he was single he simply told himself that it was because he was busy with work, be it the Navy or Five-0. When he got with Danny he thought that maybe it was the novelty of being in a real relationship with a person who loved him and whom he loved.

But as months went by, he simply hadn’t felt the urge to have sex. With Danny or anyone else. They had talked about it when they got together, that if Steve ever felt the need to have sex he could go to someone else, so long as he was safe, came back home and told Danny before hand.

Except that never happened.

So he started questioning himself.

He had spent probably what amounted to days researching and reading articles and watching videos and going through microlevels and reading people’s own realisation stories.

It had been enlightening. 

For the longest time he had thought that asexuality meant that everything and anything to do with sex had to repulse therefore, if he watched porn, he couldn’t be asexual. 

Except he could. 

He was.

He had been so… relieved when he found out that he had called Danny. At 3 am. All Danny had said was a very sleepy “That’s nice, babe” and then hung up. Next morning when Danno came to pick him up, they were having their morning snuggles and coffee when Danny pulled away, eyebrows way up in confusion and surprise.

“Did you… Did you call me last night to tell me you thought you might be ace?” He questioned.

“Not might, Danno. That… That I am. Not sure where I fall on the spectrum but… yeah.” He mumbled, giving him a shy smile.

Danny simply nodded. “Well, can’t say I hadn’t thought you might be, but I didn’t want to pressure you or make it seem like I wanted you to be ace for my sake.” He explained. “Kissing still okay?”

“Hell yeah.” He mumbled before pressing a kiss on his lips.

He rolled to a stop in front of the house and turned to look at Mary. “You can either change your whole attitude towards Danny and our relationship or you can find a room for yourself somewhere else because after this? Danny and I are not going anywhere, and I’m not sending the man I love away from his own home because you have issues.” He told her before he stepped out of the car, rounding it to pick up his squealing niece.

“Unca Danno?” She asked, bouncing on his arms.

“He’s waiting for you inside!” He exclaimed, loving the way her whole face lit up: he would always regret that they had missed these years with Charlie but at least they had him now.

She was so excited about seeing Uncle Danno again that she didn’t even realise Mary hadn’t followed them. And it pained him to ruin Mary’s trip like that, but he couldn’t kick Danny out.

He wouldn’t, and that was that. Not when Danny had done everything possible to get the kids around there for that weekend, and make everything he knew they liked.

Danny deserved better, and he was going to be better.

It was fifteen minutes later when the door opened again and Mary came inside. She smiled when he saw Danny playing with Joannie, who was simply basking on the attention both men were giving her.

It was obvious Steve was happy. So fucking happy and relaxed, in a way she had never seen him before. She didn’t understand what it was to be like them, and she doubted she would ever know, but Steve had been right, she had no right to butt into their relationship like she did, even if it had been out of concern, she had stepped way over the line and she knew it.

Steve looked at her, eyes wary and that little bit untrusting, like they had been years ago when she first came to visit after their dad’s burial.

She bent down to hug Danny, kissing his cheek. “You look good, Danny. Is Hawaii finally growing on you?” She teased, praying that she wasn’t coming as awkward as she was feeling.

She knew she failed when Danny stared at her before rolling his eyes. “As if. But this big lug lives here, so you know, I kind of have to stay if only to make sure the islands of Hawaii remain floating.” He replied, kissing Steve on the cheek.

Steve chuckled, nuzzling Danny’s head. “Love you too, baby.”

Mary shifted her weight from foot to foot before speaking again. “Can we talk?” She asked her brother.

“Sure.” He came to his feet and headed outside to the lanai.

Once the door was closed behind them Steve leaned against the railing, staring at her. She was glad that at least he was willing to talk to her in private, without Danny within earshot.

Not that she was under any illusion that Danny didn’t know what had happened, she was sure Steve had already filled him and while a side of her wanted to be mad at him for it… She was glad he did, because it meant that Steve was finally openly relying on someone else.

“I’m sorry.” She said before Steve could even open his mouth. “I was an asshole, and neither you nor Danny deserve that. You are right, I don’t have a say in your relationship and I should have never doubted you, or Danny. I was just worried because… Steve, you always put others before yourself.” She stated, making him frown and purse his lips.

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is, and if we ask Danny I’m sure he’ll side with me. But anyways, I came at it the wrong way and worded things in a way that came across in the worst way possible. I’m not going to lie and say I suddenly understand how your relationship or, asexuality for that matter, works, but so long as you are happy… That’s all I care about Steve.” She told him, grabbing his hand and squeezing tightly. “I’m sorry. I truly am.”

He nodded, tugging her into a hug. “I know. But I… I'm a private person Mare, you know that, and to have my relationship questioned like that…”

She shook her head. “You don’t have to explain, Steve. I don’t have a right to know. No one does, so long as you both are happy, and healthy.” She replied. “Which you definitely look. Both of you.”

“We are Mary. No one has ever made me as happy as Danny has.” He told her, pulling away and smiling. He glanced at Danny, who was now showing Joannie around their living room, pointing at the different pictures they had on the wall.

It had taken a long time, decades of thinking he was just weird and not fully understanding the world around him (and to be completely honest, he still didn’t understand what people saw in sex and Danny said only a weird person would crave MREs), but he was finally at a place were he was at peace with himself, and surrounded by people who loved them.

And he knew his little sister. As crazy as she was, she loved him and she really had been worried and, hopefully, she would maybe do some research to try and understand them better, or ask them questions and that… that was alright, for her to ask, but not interrogate or imply that Steve wasn’t happy. 

Because he was. He was the happiest he had ever been.