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Language:
English
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Published:
2021-11-05
Updated:
2021-11-16
Words:
1,039
Chapters:
6/?
Comments:
15
Kudos:
75
Bookmarks:
8
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772

I am, I am, I am

Summary:

Catra was never the good obeying soldier Shadow Weaver wanted her to be, and she was punished for that but she never gave in. She never truly fell into the role of a loyal cadet or someone with the mentality that they want to listen to the orders they're given because they want to be good, not like Adora. That is Catra’s side of the story and her own trauma, but we brush off Adora’s trauma all too often because it’s more subtle, and it wasn’t explicitly stated that it was physical.

This is Adora’s experience as a soldier in a war and someone raised by Shadow Weaver. Her experiences before, during, and after. Very short drabbles/one-shots analyzing quotes.

Notes:

I put off posting any of these for a long time. They've sort of been accumulating over months now because some of them feel really personal and others not so much. They're what I write when I feel stuck and need to get in the zone for another fic just because I find it a little too easy to slip into Adora's character and when that happens I end up writing things that don't really feel like it's her. To the point where I think they don't really make sense as shown in some of these (I think you'll know when you see it). That might be why the POV changes sometimes. The quotes are things I hear in my everyday life or things I've said before. If you've heard one before, it's a complete coincidence unless stated otherwise. And don’t worry, I’m still working on my other fic, I just had a small window of time and decided, why the hell not?

Posting will be very erratic, and it is likely that now is the only time there will be some sort of schedule (the first 6 are all pre-written, and will probably be posted daily starting today, after that, who knows). These first two are sort of like an intro to what I feel encompasses Adora's trauma and the root of it. I will be putting trigger warnings at the beginning of some of these. Nothing too heavy, but just in case.

No beta and I don't own anything.

Chapter 1: I am the best (failure).

Summary:

Adora always feels the need to do good at something. To be great. Why?

Chapter Text

"They break you down in order to build you back up the way they want you to be. Your humanity is taken from you, and you are no longer your own individual."

 

-Anonymous 

 

“Quit fooling around, Adora. You’re much too old for those childish games.”

 

She had only been six. She wasn’t old. 

 

“You’re on the path to Force Captain.”

 

Force Captains weren’t six years old. (?)

 

“Stop playing with her.”

 

“But we’re friends,” (?)

 

“You don’t have friends, Adora. You don’t have time for such trivial things.”

 

What does trivial mean? (I’m only eight)

 

“Hordak cannot see how you have failed to meet the advancement score.”

 

“I thought I did good,” (?) “I got the highest score out of everyone.”

 

“I don’t care about everyone else, I care about how you did.”

 

No one else in her squad had met the score either.

 

“If you don’t improve your score- you will have failed me , you will have failed yourself- you will be a failure.”

 

She was a failure. 

 

“You have to be the best Adora, not just good . You can do better than that.”

 

(Can I?)

 

Yes. You have to.

 

You are.

 

(No one ever asked me)