Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kris laid on their bed while Ralsei laid on the ground across the room. They didn't talk, or do anything, really. It was enjoyable just to be there together. Kris didn't know when it became a habit to hang out like this, but they wouldn't have it any other way. Their interests didn't actually align as much as Ralsei would like to believe, and yet, somehow, they were friends. Albeit, Kris was reluctant at first.

So he wasn't as bad as Kris thought. Ralsei's first impression on Kris wasn't as great as the young goat had thought it was. Kris wouldn't say anything on the matter; after all, Toriel raised them to be polite, ultimately, and even with their impish streak, Kris was not the person to be outwardly malicious. Kris would have earnestly described Ralsei, when they first met, as overbearing, too eager to please, and obnoxiously optimistic. Yet now, with more adventures under their belt, Kris would tell people that Ralsei was bright, loyal, considerate… And yeah, okay, still obnoxiously optimistic, but it was what made him so Ralsei-like, and it wasn't a lie when Kris told him they liked that he was Ralsei-like.

Plus, Ralsei was learning. Kris' stare clung onto the prince of the dark world, sprawled out on the carpeted floor of Kris' room. His eyes were closed, a smile on his lips, as he enjoyed sharing space with his friend. It was so far removed from how he'd been the first time the pair had hung out together. Ralsei loved conversation, and though Kris could appreciate a good discussion, Ralsei seemed more keen on telling Kris what he thought they wanted to hear than any meaningful conversation. Kris felt uncomfortable like that, Ralsei curating his every word to appeal to Kris, trying to understand what Kris wanted to hear, mentally scouring their personality like they were his science fair project. Worse, it wasn't even with manipulation in mind; Ralsei was desperate for a perfect friendship, craved to be known after so much loneliness, so much invisibility. He couldn't help but put Kris and Susie on a pedestal, and even if Susie, equally starved for attention, didn't mind the special treatment, it irked Kris.

Kris closed their eyes, and thought of something that had happened a long while ago, but still felt so fresh in their mind.

"Tell me what you really want to," Kris told him, "Not what you think I want to hear. I won't hate you over it." Ralsei just stared back at them, eyes wide and shining, jaws clamped shut. His silence was rare- uncanny. "You know what you want, right?" Ralsei looked away.

Since then, though, Ralsei stopped putting so much weight in conversation. Kris, when do you feel closest to your friends? The question reverbated in their mind, tone and inflection of Ralsei's soft voice just as clear as it had been the day he asked it. When we're alone, not talking, just enjoying each other's company. Kris shifted on their bed. Retrospection felt uncomfortable, especially when they felt so wrong but also correct.

"I'm sorry," they mumbled.

Ralsei peeked open a tired eye. "Sorry? To whom?"

"To you," Kris clarified. Their voice was still quiet, ending with a quiver.

Ralsei opened his other eye, and pushed himself up. "But Kris, you've done nothing wrong," Ralsei pointed out, a lilt of confusion in his gentle voice.

"I was wrong about you," Kris explained, "You… You're so different from what I first thought about you. I was so quick to write you off as annoying and clingy and obsessive, but you really aren't any of those things, just a little awkward. And you put so much effort into adjusting how you are for me, and I really appreciate it, but I never said anything before because that would mean admitting I was wrong, and I'm a coward! That- That wasn't fair of me."

Ralsei stood up, his hands twirling the end of his scarf the same way he did whenever something intimidating or uncertain happened. "It- It's okay, Kris! I make mistakes, too!" Ralsei stuttered out, "And I- I forgive you!"

Kris buried their face into their comforter for a few moments, before pushing themself upwards so they were seated instead of on their stomach. "Is that how you really feel?" Kris asked, their voice bouncing between frustration and disappointment in themself.

"I- I really do forgive you!" Ralsei assured them. After a pause, his voice growing softer, he added, "You really thought I was annoying?"

Kris nodded. They quickly swiped their thumb under their bangs, and hoped Ralsei hadn't seen. "Kris, are you crying?" Ralsei wondered, concern brimming in the pink eyes concealed by his glasses. So he did see. Kris shook their head no.

Ralsei chuckled dryly, more out of keeping up the air of being unbothered rather than because he thought it was funny or endearing. "It's okay, Kris. You don't have to hide it from me," Ralsei promised them, walking over to them, "You're allowed to be sad, you know." Ralsei reached out his arms, then hesitated. "Can I hug you?" he asked with shy apprehension.

In response, Kris practically collapsed into Ralsei's arms. Ralsei, surprised by the sudden weight, reeled back, regained his balance, and stumbled towards the bed, settling down in a seated position, Kris awkwardly draped off to the side of him. Kris wasn't one to cry loudly, but they could cry hard when they wanted to. Silent, shaky breaths shook their body as large tears flowed down their cheeks into Ralsei's white fur, darkening it to a cream color with salty stains. Ralsei rubbed one pawed hand over Kris' back in a small circular motion.

"I'm not mad, Kris. I promise," Ralsei assured them, "I- I'm glad you were honest with me. And I'm really happy that…" There was a beat, and Kris could almost feel the awkward shyness radiating off of the goat boy. "I'm glad you changed your mind."

"What do you think of me, now that you know?" Kris asked, voice soft and hoarse. Their fingers wound into his fur as they spoke.

"Hm, well, I think you were very brave to tell me," Ralsei answered, "And you were especially brave for apologizing."

Kris sniffled, then laughed in spite of themself. They tried to speak, let out a squeak instead, then swallowed and tried again. "You really mean that?"

"Of course!" Ralsei promised.

Kris sighed. "I feel like I do this with everyone. I don't want to give them a chance. They're fine once I do get to know them, I just- I don't know," Kris vented, "Does that make me a bad person."

Ralsei was quiet for a moment. "This has been bothering you for a while, huh, Kris," Ralsei muttered. Even though it was phrased like a question, it didn't sound like it. Kris nodded. "Even longer than I've known you?" Ralsei asked, more genuine this time, though he knew it was likely. Kris nodded again.

Ralsei hummed, thoughtful yet sad, "It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a very patient person, actually, I think, because you keep giving people a chance even though you are so unsure."

Kris mumbled, "Mm. Maybe." They cuddled closer into Ralsei's fur. "I don't feel like a very good person, though."

"I-" Ralsei breathed, then paused, before repeating louder, "I don't think anyone does, Kris."

Without leaving the comfort of Ralsei's soft fur, Kris turned so that they could look up at Ralsei's face. Just barely visible from under their dark bangs, concern was shining in Kris' eyes. "Ralsei, you don't think…" They trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Ralsei stammered in response. "I try- I try hard- I don't want to- I wanna be nice," Kris heard him say amongst the mess of disjointed syllables.

Kris grabbed Ralsei's free hand and entwined their fingers with Ralsei's. "You are nice, Ral. Don't ever doubt that."

Ralsei blinked back, flushed with surprise. "Ah, um, gee, um."

Kris laughed at the flustered appearance of the goat boy. It didn't take much to reduce Ralsei to a mess (they and Susie had turned it into a game, one day, to see who could be the first to get Ralsei to melt into a puddle of 'thank you's). Their face had dried by now, though streaks from where their tears had run were still visible on their cheeks, sticky and shining. The contrast of their smile was a welcoming sight. Ralsei, still flushed, but no longer stuttering, smiled back.

"You're all cheered up?" Ralsei asked, sounding hopeful but uncertain.

"Maybe not all cheered up," Kris replied, shifting again so that they were more comfortable against Ralsei's side, "But if someone as good as you doubts himself the way that I doubt myself, then I can't be as bad as I think I am, right?"

Ralsei looked like he was about to melt down into incomprehensiveness again, but he managed to force out, "Right."

Kris sighed in content. "Everything's going to be okay, then."

"Yeah."