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When I agreed to join the Avengers Initiative, I wanted to be a superhero, not a warden. We fought Loki and we won but now we have to keep him locked he doesn’t wreak havoc again. At least until Thor comes to take him to Asgard. Then he’s their problem.
I was the one who volunteered to feed him. I didn’t trust the other Avengers to do a good job yet. Banner is a loose cannon, if Loki gets him angry we’re all doomed. And Loki is so good at making people angry. Thor is his brother and I can see he believes he can change him, he’s blinded by love. Natasha is a spy who changed sides once already, who’s to say she won’t do it again? Tony has an inflated ego that only takes a few stroked to get what you want from him. I couldn’t even trust Steve, despite him being the most reliable of them all. All Loki needed to do was promise he’d get Steve back to his time and his old love. He would let him go in a heartbeat.
As I entered the room I almost dropped my tray at the sight. In the cell, it wasn’t Loki but Steve. His sad blue eyes stared back at me through the glass, his hair disheveled, his shirt a mess he looked beat and broken. But unmistakably like my Steve.
Scratch that. He’s not mine.
“Good one, almost got me,” I whisper.
It wasn’t Steve, it couldn’t be him. This was just another one of Loki’s tricks. I’ve been warned about his magic powers and was expecting something some sort of manipulation… but seeing Steve like that took me off guard for a second. I can’t afford to let him see how much it affects me.
“[Y/N], you’ve got to help me-“
“Close, but you got some working to do on the accent. He doesn’t sound British.”
He gave me an annoyed scowl which reminded me that it was really Loki behind the mask. I was more sure of myself now. Just a lowly trick from a desperate man.
I put the food tray down and typed in the codes to open the little door through which I’d give him some food. It was a long and annoying process but necessary to make sure we keep him in there. There was no telling what he’d do once he gets out. Enslave humanity, maybe kill us all starting with me.
“You’re beautiful when you‘re all focused and serious.”
Shit. I typed one digit wrong in the code. I’ll have to do it all over again.
Yes. I know it’s just Loki, but his voice sounds like Steve’s. And he got the accent right this time. I looked up from the screen to meet his beautiful eyes. He looked identical to the real man. And he’s saying exactly what I want to hear. How did he know? It’s not like I’m gushing to a prisoner about my crush on Captain America.
“I’ve always found this cold calculated side of you attractive.”
“I swear I’m gonna put a muzzle on you next time I come by,” I say through gritted teeth. I was trying to sound unbothered but failed miserably.
“I might be into that. What else are you gonna do to me?
My hands started trembling as electricity was running through my entire body. I could see a few small sparks of current coming out of my fingertips. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Can’t let him know he gets to me.
Firecracker. That’s what he called me the first time he saw my powers. It’s what he usually calls me when I visit to bring him food. It gets on my last nerve, but if I fried him like a fish I’d have to respond to Fury. And I fear Fury more than I hate Loki.
“I’ll really miss you when you’ll go on a mission and they send somebody else here. They won’t be as fun to tease.”
I didn’t even need to look up to know he had that shit-eating grin on his stupid face. I could hear it in his voice- Steve’s voice.
“Shut up or I’m gonna zap you!” I snap.
“Easy now, Firecracker. Wouldn’t want to hurt this pretty face.”
“Don’t call me that when you look like him! He’d never call me that!” I yelled.
I felt my grip on my powers slip for a second. Everything around me was buzzing with energy. I knew it would feel so good to just let go and kick his ass. Make him apologize. Make him fear me.
The beep of the panel in front of me brought me back to my senses. The computer accepted the code. I calmed myself down before opening the tiny hatch and sliding the food tray through it.
His cold hand grabbed mine and held on tight. I don’t know if he just got tired of the ruse, or his magic run out, but he let the enchantment go. I was finally looking at the Loki I knew and despised.
“Show a little empathy, you of all people know what’s like to be locked away to rot.”
He brought his face close to mine, his nose almost glued to the glass wall of the cell. I punched it with all of my strength and he recoiled in shock, letting go of my hand.
That glimmer of fear in his eyes made almost breaking my fingers worth it.
He knows. He must be able to read minds or something because there is no other way for him to know about that. No one but Fury knew about this.
“I saw everything when I used the scepter on you. Your mind was like an open book. I know more about you than your lover boy,” he grinned. That blood-curdling grin. “The question is whether he would even look at you if he found out.”
At that moment I saw red. Without thinking I grabbed his hand back and forcefully pulled him closer all the way until he was on his knees, his entire arm hanging out of the cell, his shoulder and neck glued to the opened hatch. One of my hands was still holding his wrists so that he couldn’t touch me, I used the other to grab as harshly as I could onto the collar of his shirt.
“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” I yelled, my blood boiling like lava “One word to him and I’ll make you wish Odin left you to die on Jotunheim a long time ago,” I barked as I leaned closer to his face.
Now I really got his attention. His façade melted leaving behind sheer fear and anger.
“That’s right. You’re not the only one who knows more than they should.”
In a fraction of a second I wasn’t holding Loki by the collar, but Steve. He looked up at me with those big sad eyes and I almost loosened my grip. If he thinks I can’t punch him because he has Steve's face... he's fucking right. I let him fall on the floor.
“I don’t get what you see in him,” he muttered.
“And you never will. Because he’s kind, brave, and loyal. You’re a coward and a snake!” I barked.
His eyebrows shot up to his hairline.
“Ooh, so that’s why you like him. Because he’s nothing like me. Or maybe because he’s nothing like your father.”
The next thing I know I lost control. I wasn’t a human, made of flesh and bone but a monster made of high voltage and fury. My mind was blank except for the need to make Loki apologize. Suffer. Pay.
After my energy was consumed I collapsed.
When I woke up my head was throbbing and my shoulder was sore. I had my hands tied behind my back with rubber gloves over them. Smart. I can’t use my powers or I risk melting plastic into my skin. I couldn’t use my powers anyway. After that display at the compound, I felt like an empty battery. I don’t know how long I’ve been passed out.
I tried to get up from the dirty floor I was laying on but I was dizzy and not being able to use my hands didn’t help. I managed to rest my back against a wall and sit on my ass. Everything hurt so bad.
After what seemed like an eternity Loki came into the room I was held hostage with two sandwiches in his hands.
“Ah, she’s awake,” he commented, extending a hand with a sandwich towards me. “Eat.”
“I can’t, dumbass. My hands are tied.”
If he got that hand just a little bit closer I would’ve been able to bite it. I could have done something.
“You are aggravating.”
“I learned it from you.”
He might be a villain but he didn’t let me starve. He held the sandwich close to my mouth and let me bite into it, but keeping himself as far away as possible.
Maybe he can read minds.
“How did you pay for this?”
He took a wallet out of his pocket, showed it to me then threw it on the ground close to where I was standing. I still would’ve had to crawl to get to it though. Or maybe use my foot to inch it closer. It’s not like I had anything in there that could help me break free. I didn’t even know where I was or if I could walk. I felt weak and dizzy.
“You stole my wallet?
“I needed to make sure you don’t have anything in your pockets you could use to escape.”
“Why did you bring me here? Do you actually need me for your next plan or is this payback? Are we going to play warden and prisoner? Does that turn you on?”
I see why he had that smart mouth in that cell. When you’re bound and helpless like this, it’s your only weapon.
Loki looked down like he didn’t know what to say. I could notice the tips of his ears slightly turning pink in the dim lights. With a sigh, he sat down on the floor next to me, but still at arm's length.
“When I get this rope off I’m gonna make you miss that cell,” I say through gritted teeth.
He gave me a sour smile. “I wish I was as heartless as you make me out to be. I could just leave you here for the rats and go on my way. Instead of taking care of you until I find a place to flee and call the police to pick you up.”
“You’re so kind for not leaving me here to die,” I say, each one of my words dripping more and more with sarcasm. “I didn’t know you had such a heart of gold. You’re taking such good care of me. Why am I even wasting my time with Steve when you’re here? Why don’t you come over and fuck me, Loki?!”
He choked on air.
“You think I didn’t realize by now? That you wanna fuck me?” I turn around to face him. “This obsession you have with me and Steve… It’s all because you have some kinda Stockholm syndrome crush on me!”
“He doesn’t even notice you! You’re wasting your time on him and he’s in love with someone else.”
“Well, that makes two of us then.”
“Let’s be clear, I’m not in love with you. I just think you could do better than golden boy-”
“You think you’re better than him?” I interrupted.
“He’s holding you back! I could help you grow. With powers like yours, you could take over the world! But you let them handcuff you and send you to jail for the rest of your life and you didn’t at least try to do anything bad.”
“I killed my father!”
“He deserved it!” he stopped and took a deep breath. “You didn’t mean to do it and you were just a kid. They should’ve helped you. Instead, they locked you away for how many years?”
I shifted uncomfortably in my place. There wasn’t much movement I could do while bound. This was the first time I talked to someone about what happened.
“I don’t want to take over the world, I’m not like you. I don’t wanna be a superhero, either. I just wanted to be left alone. By my father, by the cops, by the entire world. I just want some peace and quiet,” my voice cracked and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
I started crying, trying to bury my head between my knees to cover it up. My sobs were painful, making me shake. I almost buried all these memories. While I was in solitary, the first few weeks I just wept myself to sleep and relived the night that changed my life. When I had no more tears left to cry I tried to forget all of it. And I thought I’d succeeded until now.
How deep did Loki have to dig in my head to find these?
I didn’t realize what was going on next to me until it already happened. Loki took a knife and cut the ropes that were holding me. All I could do at that moment was shield myself so he won’t see my pathetic, tear-stained face. I kept crying until I couldn’t anymore.
I felt his hand wrap around me cautiously as if afraid I might pull away. And in normal circumstances, I would’ve. Not before I slapped him across the face for daring to touch me. But now I was tired of fighting and arguing. I just wanted comfort. And it was nice to have someone compliment me and tell me I didn’t do anything wrong, that I didn’t deserve to be locked up. I used to believe that when I was a kid, but the more the time passed and the more worn out I got I started believing that maybe that was my place.
“You’re so cold,” I said quietly, regretting it immediately because it made him pull away from me.
“Frost Giant genes, but you already knew that.”
“You don’t look like a Frost Giant.”
His arm wasn’t wrapped around me anymore but he was still awfully close. So close I could count each individual eyelash.
“It’s an illusion, actually. I don’t look like this.”
“What does the real Loki look like?” I whispered, almost like I was afraid I was gonna scare him away. “C’mon, it’s only fair. You were in my head, you know everything about my past, even my first kiss-“
“I don’t remember seeing a first kiss.”
“That’s because there wasn’t one.”
Loki moved to kneel in front of me instead of staying on my side. We were face to face now, his hands on my knees, holding onto me like he was afraid I was gonna leave. He looked down and the illusion started to wear off. I watched his hands turn blue first, then his face. He still wasn’t looking me in the eyes, they were fixated on the floor instead.
I took off my rubber gloves and grabbed his chin with my bare hand, forcing him to look up at me. He winced as soon as I touched him and it made me wonder if he thought I was gonna zap him. I did promise I would once I get the gloves off. What made me change my mind so quickly?
“I like you more like this,” I said after a long silence. “You’re turning purple, is that normal?”
He covered his face with his hands in a shy, flustered way.
“I made you blush!” I teased him.
“Will you stop? This is already embarrassing.”
I started tracing the side of his face with the back of my hands, memorizing every detail. A very stupid idea sprung to mind. A stupid stupid idea.
“Do you really love me?”
“I guess after getting to know you so well and spending time with you… how could I not?”
I did the stupid stupid thing. I closed my eyes and leaned in closer and closer until there was no more space between my lips and his. I could feel him freeze in shock but after a second he kissed me back. Timidly as first, like he couldn’t believe it was real, then more feverishly. My hands instinctively locked in his hair, pulling him closer. I wasn’t sure if what I was doing was good until I earned a moan from him. He immediately pulled away.
“Run away with me,” he breathed. Seeing I was giving him a questioning look, he continued “You can’t go back there, they’ll blame you for my escape.”
Well, it was my fault.
“But you can come with me. Get a fresh start. Make your own choices for once. Promise I won’t hold you back, even if you want to leave me and explore the world on your own-“
I kissed him on the lips again. “Let’s go.”