Chapter Text
"If we're going to appear at a concert, don't we need some kind of name?" Chisato asked, looking almost bored at her own suggestion. "Does anyone have any ideas?"
"This is something I've been thinking about recently, but I haven't come to a final decision yet," Yukina said in response, and Chisato sighed.
"Planning to decide everything by yourself is very… like you, but if possible, I'd like a band I'm in to be a little bit more democratic. Though I'm open to hearing your ideas."
Yukina ran through a list of names, all of which seemed to be based on flowers of some sort, and a thoughtful look appeared on Chisato's face.
"Not bad," she said. "Does anyone else have any ideas? You've read a lot of books, haven't you, Rinko? Is there anything there that's stuck out to you?"
Rinko hurriedly racked her brain for anything she'd read that might apply in this situation. Surely there were countless images she'd picked up in novels that had left an impression on her, but for some reason none of them would come to her mind at this particular moment.
"I… I can't think of anything right now," she finally said, and to her immense relief Chisato nodded understandingly.
"Take a bit to think about it," she said.
It was at this moment that Kaoru spoke for the first time. "Perhaps I may offer a suggestion? Surely, the most appropriate place to search for a name for a group such as ours is the realm of thea—"
"Saaya?" Chisato asked, interrupting Kaoru, and their band's drummer let out an awkward laugh.
"I think we should probably hear what Kaoru has to say," she said, and Chisato, looking somewhat displeased, turned her gaze toward Kaoru.
"…As I was saying," Kaoru continued, "I was stricken by a deep and powerful emotion—one might even describe it as fleeting—when I read the lyrics Yukina had composed. That superb energy is perfectly aligned with the tragedies of Shakespeare, perhaps Hamlet if I may suggest—"
"Yes, yes, I'm aware that that's the play your theatre club just put on. But you aren't suggesting we just call ourselves Hamlet, are you?" Chisato gave her a skeptical look.
"Well…" Kaoru seemed to be somewhat rattled. "I was simply suggesting it might be a good place to search for ideas."
At that, the gears that had been turning in Rinko's head ever since she'd heard Kaoru mention Hamlet fell into place.
"I'd, um, agree with that," she said, and winced as everyone's gazes turned in her direction. "In one of Soseki's novels… he references a painting of a scene from Hamlet…" The imagery had, for whatever reason, stuck with her. Not just the painting itself, which Rinko liked very much, but Soseki's interpretation of it: that the image of Ophelia peacefully floating down the river in her white dress, framed by flowers and plants, could be beautiful even though that dress would eventually fill with water and drag Ophelia down to the river's bottom. It was in some respects a grim way of thinking, but as Kaoru had said, there was a distinct sadness to the music they'd been playing so far.
For the first time since she'd brought the topic up, Chisato seemed to be legitimately interested. "A painting of Ophelia, right? I believe I've seen it somewhere before. Not the image I expected you to bring up, but it's certainly unique. I like it." She laughed softly.
"Then, um, what about Hinagiku, or something like that…? Ophelia had daisies in her garland when she drowned, and so, um, I thought using the Japanese word might sound nice… and connect to Yukina's flower ideas…" Rinko could feel herself turning red with embarrassment as soon as the words left her mouth. She'd gone too far, hadn't she? The vaguely morbid imagery she'd found compelling… surely the rest of them would look at her strangely, or laugh at her, wouldn't they?
But Yukina, who'd been looking at an image of the painting on Saaya's phone, simply looked up at Rinko and nodded.
"It's a powerful image," she said. "I think Kaoru is correct that this sort of thing fits well with the tone of our music. Good work, Rinko." And at those words, Rinko felt her cheeks once again warming with a different, more pleasant sort of embarrassment.
"That name's fine with me," Chisato said, still looking faintly amused. "An innocently girly name with a tragic backstory. Certainly unique. What does everyone else think?"
"Ah," Kaoru replied, "but how could I say no to a name inspired by the theatre? Truly, we are fortunate to have a lady as learned as Miss Rinko in our midst…"
Saaya laughed. "I like it too," she said, "so I guess Hinagiku is born. It's kind of exciting to finally have a name!"
'Warm' was never the word Rinko would have used to describe the feeling of being a member of this band, given Yukina and Chisato's temperaments, the band's musical style, and now its name. But if there was a moment where that word would have fit, it would be this one: five people, all smiling, their hearts all set on achieving a common goal.
What a special thing that was, she would only later realize.
Concert venues were the exact sorts of places Rinko hated, suffocating, loud, cramped, and full of people, and this one was no exception. It had only been at Yukina's assurance that they'd be able to watch (mostly) away from the tumult that she'd even agreed to set foot in here on a day they weren't performing. Not that she had become comfortable with being on stage herself, not by a long shot, but there was a sense of fulfillment that came along with playing in front of crowds—after all, she was doing something that would likely have been impossible for her a year ago—that she couldn't get just by watching. The last time they'd come here the atmosphere had made her vaguely ill, and after navigating their way through the throng of people gathered around the stage her stomach was once again beginning to feel queasy.
"Is everything all right?" Yukina asked, turning to her. The expression on her face, which was something close to concern, still surprised Rinko every time she saw it. Considerate had never been an adjective she would have thought to ascribe to Hinagiku's vocalist, and it was true that situations where it truly felt fitting were still few and far between. But Yukina had become, if not necessarily kind, at least more aware of her band members and their respective needs over the past few months, Rinko thought, no matter what Chisato had said. Are you sure it's not just your imagination? their bassist had asked her when Rinko had brought up the subject. If she has changed, it's likely just when it comes to you. She's as insensitive as ever with the rest of us.
That explanation was somehow much more difficult for Rinko to accept. What could Minato Yukina possibly see in Shirokane Rinko that would merit any sort of special treatment? To someone who acted like confidence personified, who lit up any stage she stood on even before saying a word, who drew people to her through sheer force of personality, why was a coward ex-pianist even worth a second look? But as unbelievable as it was, expeditions like their current one made her wonder if there might not be a grain of truth to Chisato's words. After all, as far as she could tell, it was only her—not Chisato, or Kaoru, or one of Yukina's other musical acquaintances—who Yukina was inviting out. That seemed somehow significant, though what that significance was Rinko couldn't yet say.
"I'm fine," she said in response, struggling to make herself heard over the noise around them. She honestly didn't think 'fine' was the best way to describe her current state, but at the same time she hesitated to trouble Yukina with complaints, especially now that they'd come this far.
"I see," Yukina said, and then turned around and resumed walking, Rinko hurrying to keep up with her. She wasn't sure whether or not she felt disappointed at Yukina's response; on the one hand, she hadn't wanted to make a scene or invite Yukina's pity, but on the other hand, it wouldn't have been unpleasant, having that look of near-concern turned on her once again.
As promised, the viewing location Yukina led her to—a small, elevated alcove with a decent view of the stage from its left side—was much calmer and less oppressive than standing in the midst of a crowd would have been. She leaned against the wall and exhaled softly, her earlier queasiness lessening somewhat.
"Is this a better place to watch from?" Yukina asked, tone curt as usual.
"Um, yes. It's much nicer, thank you."
"That's good to hear," Yukina replied, and, unable to restrain the bubbling curiosity within herself any longer, Rinko hesitantly opened her mouth to speak.
"If… if you don't mind me asking, was there, um, a reason you invited me to come here with you?"
"…Is it that unusual for someone to want to invite a bandmate to watch a concert together?"
"That's not… I just, wouldn't one of the others—"
"I picked the person who I thought might give me the most useful feedback. No more and no less." Yukina fixed her gaze on Rinko. "Does that answer your question?"
"…Yes," Rinko replied, somewhat intimidated by Yukina's stare even though she was fairly sure she'd just been complimented. Yukina nodded and turned back toward the stage; Rinko's eyes lingered on her for a moment before she, too, shifted her attention in that direction.
The band Yukina had wanted to watch was taking the stage, a group of four girls who seemed to be about the same age as Yukina and Rinko. Compared to Hinagiku, they gave off a somewhat rougher vibe, the lead singer's blonde-dyed hair and numerous piercings catching Rinko's eye immediately. She announced, in a confident voice, that they'd be starting off with a cover of a Blue Hearts song, and the venue was soon awash in sound.
It was not the kind of music that Rinko was at all knowledgeable about—certainly a far cry from classical piano—but watching them she felt as though she understood, a bit, what it was that other people got from attending live music shows. The lead singer's voice didn't have Yukina's clear beauty to it, but there was something appealing about its unconventionality, especially when coupled with her clear charisma as a stage performer.
"They're as good as I'd heard," Yukina said during a break between songs, and Rinko nodded in assent.
"I'm… impressed."
"As am I. But as good as they are," she continued, a confident, almost playful smile appearing on her face, "they're not as good as us. Wouldn't you agree?"
At those words and that expression, Rinko felt her heart begin to swell. She loved this part of Yukina, unshakably confident in ways she could never be, and loved even more when that confidence was extended to the band as a whole. After all, even if it was sometimes hard to believe that she'd actually changed for the better, it was even harder to believe that Minato Yukina would place her trust in someone as timid and fragile as the girl Rinko had been. So surely, she was stronger than she believed.
"We're definitely better," she said as strongly as she could muster, and Yukina's smile broadened.
"Only a month until we get a chance to really prove that. Let's do our best to be ready."
Rinko nodded vigorously. Then, a moment later, the band started up again and their surroundings were once more swallowed by music.
…Of course, she had come to realize, that same confident attitude that she loved was also inextricable from Yukina's unfortunate tendency to clash with any strong-willed person in her vicinity.
"We've made progress," Yukina said, as they finished cleaning up after the day's practice. "But there's still a number of areas that need improvement. How many days are all of you available next week? I'd like to get in as much practice as possible before our festival entry."
"Is there really a need to practice that much?" Chisato asked, tone nonchalant as always. "I feel like we're playing our songs well enough at this point that I'm not certain how much another week will help us. Wouldn't we be better off spending our time in other areas?"
Yukina's eyes narrowed. "And what areas might those be?"
By this point, Yukina and Chisato's back-and-forth had become close to routine. While Rinko did believe that both of them had a grudging respect for each other, somewhere deep down, it would be hard to say that they liked each other; though so far, they'd always managed to work out their differences when it mattered.
"A bit of research, perhaps? To be honest, I've always been confused by you, Yukina. You say doing well at festivals like this is your ultimate goal, and yet you seem to genuinely believe that we can accomplish that just by practicing more."
"Are you suggesting we should do something other than be the best band we can be?"
At the venom in Yukina's voice, Rinko paused, letting the school bag she'd just picked up fall back to the floor. Usually she just let her fellow band members argue things out, but something about the atmosphere this time felt different. She glanced over in Saaya's direction, wondering if this was a case where she should intervene, and received a nervous smile in return. Neither of them knew what to do, it seemed.
"I'm saying that being a better band isn't necessarily connected to doing well at festivals. Which is why I thought we might be well served by looking at bands that have done well in the past and seeing what they have in common, and likely also who the judges are and what their personal biases might be. Obviously we're not going to be able to make any sweeping changes, but that sort of thing seems as though it would be a lot more useful than practicing songs we've played a hundred times already."
Yukina blinked for a second, then smiled, a mirthless expression that made Rinko shudder. "I should have known from the start, shouldn't I? You've been in the entertainment industry too long; you're one of them. You care nothing about authenticity or achieving success with your own brand of music, just whether or not you think it'll sell."
"If you hate them so much, then why do you want the music industry to validate you? Shouldn't you be the judge of whether or not you're achieving success? All I'm saying is that you can't practice your way to being popular. Surely you don't think that the most successful bands are all the ones who practiced the most, do you?"
"I didn't start this band so I could sell out, though I don't think someone like you could possibly understand why I feel that way."
Chisato smirked. "You certainly enjoy telling the rest of us we have a responsibility to contribute to the band's success and then taking all the glory for yourself, don't you? I was under the impression there was some cooperation involved in what we were doing, but it seems as though you'd much rather all of us just swore fealty to the queen."
At this, Kaoru hastily stepped in. "Chisato, Yukina, my dear friends," she said, "might it be best if we calmed down for a moment? I am perfectly happy to practice more, though there are certain days where my obligations to the theatre club interfere, and I'm sure a schedule can be worked out. In the words of that great bard of—"
A sigh of disgust from Chisato interrupted Kaoru's words. Both she and Yukina were staring daggers at their band's guitarist, and Kaoru, quailing under the pressure, shut her mouth.
"Sometimes," Chisato said, with seemingly all the disdain she could muster, "I really wonder why it is that I decided to put up with all of you." And, swinging her bass case onto her shoulder, she stalked off, leaving an ominous silence in the studio behind her.
A few moments passed, awkwardly, until Saaya finally spoke.
"So, uh… should we try and come up with a practice schedule? We can confirm with her later. I'm sure she'll be back next time, it's always like this every time there's an argument…"
It was very much not like this every time there was an argument, Rinko thought, but she voiced her agreement anyway, stealing a glance in Yukina's direction. Their band's vocalist was still staring at the door Chisato had left through, a frown on her face, and it was only when Rinko tapped her on the shoulder that she finally turned to the rest of them.
"We should… probably decide on practice," Rinko said softly to her, and Yukina nodded decisively.
"Right," she said. "When can everyone make time?"
They put together a mock schedule in the ensuing minutes without too much trouble; there were, as Yukina had promised, more practices the next week than they usually had, but not to a grueling or onerous level, at least in Rinko's opinion. All that remained was to confirm the schedule with Chisato, which was easier said that done, although Kaoru seemed surprisingly cheerful about the prospect.
"Worry not!" she said, shouldering her school bag with a flourish. "Chisato and I have known each other for so long we understand each other intimately. A quick conversation and soon enough we'll have all forgotten that any kind of incident happened."
"Thank you," said Yukina. "I'll be counting on it."
But the next practice came and there was still no sign of Chisato. Kaoru withered slightly at the accusatory glare Yukina sent her direction; the younger students considered her very charming, or so Rinko had heard, but that charm appeared to be as good as worthless when it came to Yukina.
And, likely, when it came to Chisato as well.
"Well," Kaoru began, somewhat awkwardly, "she was not as receptive to my entreaties as I thought she would be. Despite the close bond we share, there are times at which she can be somewhat… less than friendly with me, shall we say." At that, Saaya met Rinko's eyes and grinned.
"Still," she continued, "I know that beneath that cold exterior, Chisato still harbors strong feelings of friendship for me, and, no doubt, for all of us as well. Perhaps this is simply a matter where we must wait for her to come back to us… which I have no doubt she will, of course. There is as of yet no need to worry, friends!"
"I see," said Yukina coldly. "If that's all, then we should start practice. It would be best if we had a bassist, but there are still things we'll be able to accomplish."
The tense atmosphere continued throughout practice, with Yukina being even sharper than usual at their mistakes (particularly Kaoru's). Rinko had a feeling the others were thinking the same thing she was, though none of them would openly admit it: the way Chisato had exploded last practice, coupled with her absence today, had all of them fearing the worst.
They dispersed, Kaoru once more swearing to bring Chisato back, and as Rinko and Yukina stepped out onto the road home Yukina let out a deep sigh.
"Maybe it's for the best if she doesn't come back," she said, no small degree of bitterness in her voice. "I don't need a bassist who's only here to try and further her career. It isn't as though she's so skilled as to be irreplaceable, either."
"Even though… the festival's in three weeks? I, um, don't know if you'll be able to find someone who'll be able to learn the songs in that amount of time…"
"I'll concede that point. But at the very least, a bassist who's actually willing to participate would be nice to have. Wouldn't you agree?"
Rinko couldn't say no to that. But, while she knew Yukina would probably scoff at her for saying so, she felt like it was important for Chisato to be in the band, beyond her ability as a bass player, beyond even her wealth of knowledge about the entertainment world they were beginning to immerse themselves in. Some crucial aspect of their identity was tied up in Chisato's presence, and Rinko was worried that whatever special spark she'd felt when this group first played together was on the verge of fizzling out.
"Let's give it until next practice," she said, softly but decisively. "If she doesn't come, then… then we should start thinking about alternatives."
"Fair enough," Yukina said. "But I think I know what position we'll be in at that point."
Rinko did too, and desperately hoped her gut was wrong.
She stopped by class 2-A after homeroom had ended the next day, peering somewhat nervously inside to check if the person she was hoping to see, or perhaps hoping not to see, was present. A quick look was enough to confirm: Chisato was conversing amicably with the girl in the desk next to hers, her trademark pale blonde hair lit well by the late afternoon sun. And a second later, as Rinko was anxiously considering the best way to get Chisato's attention, the former child actress looked towards the door, the friendly expression on her face quickly changing to something much frostier when she saw who was there.
"Rinko," she said. "How nice to see you."
"Hello," Rinko replied, feeling her heartbeat rise once more. "Do you, um, have a moment to talk?"
"…If I must. I'll just be a second, Kanon."
They walked in silence until they reached an open classroom, Rinko sliding open the door and then sliding it closed behind her. A slightly chilly autumn breeze was drifting in from a window someone had forgotten to close, and the faint sound of sports teams practicing could be heard from the field beyond.
"So," Chisato asked, "Yukina sent you to do her dirty work? You're devoted to her as always, aren't you."
Rinko shook her head. "She didn't ask me to do this. I'm… here because I wanted to be. Because I want you to come back."
A cruel smile appeared on Chisato's face at that. "Ahh, I see how it is. Well, I'm afraid to say that I have to agree with Yukina on this one. If she'd come herself and apologized, then maybe I would've thought about going along with you. But if neither of us are interested in being in the other's presence any longer, then I see no reason to continue being in your band. I'll let you have your fun without me."
"You're able to throw it away that easily…?"
"There wasn't much to throw away in the first place. Do remember I'm not Yukina; I've got more important things to do than play at making a band with a bunch of amateur high school girls."
An artfully crafted look of disdain had appeared on Chisato's face; it was eminently clear that she thought of the rest of them as beneath her, girls who might provide some temporary entertainment but surely nothing more. But in their time together, the one thing Rinko had learned about Chisato was that she was an actress through and through. Whether or not Chisato's current attitude was itself an act, Rinko couldn't say for sure. All she could do was call Chisato's bluff, and hope that her hunch was more than just baseless speculation.
"Is that, um, how you really feel?"
"Why would it not be?" Chisato's gaze sharpened, as though by looking at Rinko closely enough she could discover her true intentions.
"Well…" Rinko's heart was beating even faster than it had earlier, and she took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves. "I was curious, back when you first joined the band… how would someone as famous and busy as you make time to practice with the rest of us? But you never really seemed to have many time conflicts, or at least not as many as I expected… which made me wonder if you were really still doing any of the entertainment work you used to do."
Chisato leaned back against the wall of the classroom, looking at Rinko as though sizing her up. "Let's say, for argument's sake, that you're correct. What do you intend to do with that information? Blackmail me? I wouldn't have pictured you as that sort of girl, but perhaps I underestimated you." There was something close to anger in her expression, which—even during the worst of Chisato and Yukina's many arguments—was not something Rinko was used to seeing in her usually perfectly composed bandmate. An involuntary shiver ran down her spine.
"That's… not it," she said. "I just feel like our band needs you. You help balance out Yukina, and you know a lot of things about the entertainment world, and… it, um, just wouldn't be right without you. It wouldn't be Hinagiku. And I was wondering if maybe, you need us too, more than you let on." A series of images flashed in her head, of Chisato's eyes alight with interest when they'd decided their name, of Chisato suggesting they all take a break at one of her favorite teashops, of the triumphant smile on her face after their first successful concert.
The anger slowly began to drain from Chisato's face, and she let out a deep sigh. "I see. So that was it. Tell me, Rinko, what is that band—what is Hinagiku to you?"
Rinko blinked. It wasn't the question she'd expected to be asked. But nevertheless, the answer came quickly to her lips.
"I… wanted to change myself. I wanted to be more than just cowardly or timid—someone who, um, just hides inside and reads books. And being in Hinagiku… it's still not much, but I feel like I'm stronger than I was before I joined. So it's, um, become a very precious place to me. And you're a part of that."
There was a pause after she finished speaking. A faint tinge of twilight was beginning to sweep across the sky outside, turning the breeze from chilly to biting as it did so, but Rinko was too focused on the task at hand to care at the moment.
"Is that so," Chisato said, finally. "Well, I'll consider what you've told me."
Rinko felt her heart sink slightly. She hadn't really expected to be able to convince Chisato, but given the direction their conversation had taken, she'd hoped for a more substantive response.
"I hope you show up tomorrow," she said, softly.
"I can't make any promises. …But before I leave, one last thing."
"Um, yes?"
"I think a person who does her best to help resolve an argument is a lot stronger than someone who just stews in her anger and hopes it'll resolve on its own." And, smiling that flawless actress's smile of hers, Chisato swept past Rinko and out of the classroom, leaving Rinko alone. The earlier clamor of the sports teams was now no longer audible, leaving only the wind to break the silence of the room.
"…Thank you very much," she whispered to no one in particular.
…And on the day of their next practice, there she was, Shirasagi Chisato in the flesh, setting up her amp and bass as though absolutely nothing had happened. Even Rinko had to admit she was a little surprised.
"I'm very sorry for my absence," Chisato said, smiling, once everyone had gathered. "Some unexpected business came up, and I was unable to make it on the date of our previous practice. But it's been resolved, so I'll continue to do my best from here on out."
Rinko seriously doubted whether any of the other members actually believed Chisato's explanation, but everyone seemed bewildered enough by her presence that none of them raised a voice to call her out on it. That was probably for the best. Whatever her motivations, Chisato was here, and Hinagiku was five members again. As far as Rinko was concerned, that was enough.
After practice had ended, Yukina called out to Kaoru, who bowed ostentatiously. "How may I be of service, my lady?" she asked.
"I have to admit I had my doubts, but you made good on your promise to convince Chisato to return. Good work."
A confused look appeared on Kaoru's face. "But I—" she began to say, and then stopped, her usual expression returning. "Oh, but of course! I myself felt as though I had failed in my mission, but it seems as though my words penetrated much more deeply than I originally thought! Such is the skill of an actress of her caliber, able to convince even her oldest friend that she means the opposite of how she really feels—"
Rinko had to cover her mouth to stop herself from giggling at their conversation, and Chisato, coiling up a shield cable, gave her a wry look. Three weeks remained until their pivotal performance. But for now, all was well.