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Sometimes I feel like my friend (Yellow) says the most frustrating stuff in the entire world. I don't think it is wrong to have a certain level of privacy with my thoughts. However, Yellow does not believe in that.
She is a completely open book and expects others to be that way as well. Well guess what, not everyone is the same, and you can't expect other people to be like that either. People are different and that is what makes humans so unique and amazing. It is not a crime for me to have thoughts that I want to keep to myself. Especially when I know they will either be not accepted or understood. Every time I have tried to open my mouth and express what I feel it has only bit me in the butt and gave me no benefit. In the end I just end up giving in and accepting defeat because I am tired of arguing and trying to get someone to understand my point of view when they never will. I understand why yellow is so set in her ways. It's because she has someone who has the same thought process as her, her husband, Purple.
Both of them from a very young age established who they were independently and they met their perfect match, each other. When you have someone who thinks the exact same way as you and they are your significant other, of course you will be reassured that your way of thinking is 100 percent correct. Purple and yellow, together they make an unstoppable team, and for me, Pink, I don't have the energy to fight. So what do I do? I choose my battles. That is all I can do. Why is it so hard for people just to accept people as they with their qerks and all? Why do people care so much as to why other people are weird? Okay so if they are super nerdy with chemistry, so what? So if they enjoy other languages and cultures more than the one they were born with, so what? So if they are a bit socially awkward and have a hard time reading social ques, so what? Just let them be.
Sometimes I just wanna yell, just let me breathe, just let me be me, just let me have some peace, I just want to live without thinking every second I am with you, what else do I need to change about myself. It's so hypocritical that you preach, you don't need to change anything about yourself, you should be comfortable with yourself. However you never miss the opportunity to make a comment about anything and everything that you dislike or is done differently from what you would do. Everyone has those thoughts, but not everyone expresses them. Some maybe because their judging, but others because they recognize that their way is not the only correct way.
Life is hard, but I try to do what I can to keep breathing. This is a diary I have started for my self care and sanity.
Does anyone else feel the same or have they been in a similar situation?