Chapter Text
Burning days were the worst.
Not because of the smell, though flesh had a certain terrible odor to it when it was alight. It was worse than decay, stronger than rancid meat, and fouler than the stench of humans. It was one that almost everyone turned away from, hands clamped over their noses and mouths. Some retched while tears leaked from the corners of their eyes, and others stood with rigid backs and endured it out of a lingering respect for the dead. It was not a scent that could be forgotten quickly, yet Esidisi was among the few who were not bothered by it. Though Esidisi had yet to see anybody lose consciousness, years ago there had been a woman whose reaction he still remembered. Her eyes had rolled back into her head as she stumbled on her feet and bumped into him. Esidisi had glanced down at her, bemused. She had already shaken herself out of it, one hand clutched to her chest as she covered her mouth with the other, eyes watering.
Nor was it the sight of flesh slowly melting away from bone that made burning days unbearable. That, too, was something the majority of the clan could not stomach, and closed their eyes against. It was easy enough to look away from, unlike the reek of burning flesh that infiltrated the lungs whichever way he breathed. Close observation had taught Esidisi that skin tended to tear away in pieces before it was turned to ash. When the fire reached its peak, the flesh could even become hot enough to drip from the body. Muscle was tougher but it too dissolved in the wake of the flames. To watch a burning was to assault the senses in a way Esidisi guessed most of his people would never become accustomed to. Still, they showed up, and they stayed.
They stayed to grieve.
The entire clan felt the passing of a single person, whether or not they had been familiar with the dead person on a personal level. They gathered and mourned as one, and together they watched the ashes carried off by the wind. The death rate among their people was low enough that a hundred years or more could easily pass before they had to burn someone else. Burnings took place so infrequently that Esidisi could remember each and every one of them in clear detail—from how the deceased had been dressed, to the particular pattern of smoke that billowed skyward from the fire.
Ultimately, it was the somber atmosphere of the burnings that made Esidisi dread them. It was the weeping and the overwhelming sorrow. The crying of children who had no true concept of death. The thumping of fists against chests. The coughing from the smoke, and bloodshot eyes. Unlike the others, Esidisi found comfort in all that remained when the flames had died down, for fire cleansed. It purged.
Today was no exception. Somewhere in the crowd behind him, a person was wailing at the top of their lungs, the pitch growing louder by the second. He was standing at the very front, as close to the fire as anyone dared to get. The last embers were dying out, and with them Esidisi’s patience. He was always among the few who remained until dawn, partly because with the rising of the sun came the promise of danger, and partly because there was something poetic about watching the last pieces of a person float away on the wind. It had already been hours since the burning began, late in the night, and soon the sun would rise.
Esidisi lifted his eyes from the last glowing traces of the fire to the sky. Indeed, there were already streaks of faint pink lining the horizon. He stood still, silent, barely noticing when the crowd slowly began to disperse around him. He heard low mumbling, some sniffles, a child complaining about being tired. Closing his eyes, Esidisi tried to drown out the sounds. The last moments were the most important, he felt, and it bothered him that people left before the burning was truly over in every sense.
At last, it was quiet. He only opened his eyes when he felt a twinge of alarm in his chest, deeply reflexive. The first rays of sun were beginning to peek over the mountains to the east, so Esidisi began to make his way back to the caverns. He gave one last look at the charred ground where the body had burned, then turned away. There were a few others ahead of him, trudging their way down the winding path beaten into the side of the bedrock that led deeper into the caves. One of them, a man, was coughing loudly into his fist. Esidisi looked at his own hands briefly, turning them face-up. There was soot on his palms, so he wiped them off on his thighs before he started to make for his usual turnoff on the path. He wanted to clean himself off, and he had a pressing need for sleep.
On top of his sheer exhaustion, Esidisi was starting to feel hyper-aware of everything. It was a side effect that accompanied his habit of staying awake for days at a time. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and his eyes were starting to cross when he tried to focus on something. There was an indistinct noise ringing in his ears, so he worked a finger inside one of them and rubbed vigorously. When that didn’t resolve it, Esidisi frowned. He cocked his head to focus on the direction of the sound. His brows furrowed as he turned around in a circle slowly, convinced now it wasn’t something that only he could hear. The source of the noise was coming from ahead of him, past a heap of boulders that marked the last bend in the path.
Esidisi strode quickly towards it, keeping his footsteps light. The noise sounded more and more like a voice the closer he got. It was raised and still increasing in volume. In his haste, he slipped on some loose gravel and sent it skittering off the edge of the path. Esidisi breathed a curse. As he neared the corner, he crouched down behind the rocks. He searched for a gap somewhere between the rocks so he might see what was happening on the other side of them, but they were too tightly packed. There were two voices now, but his heart was pounding too hard in his ears for him to make out the words. Esidisi wasn’t generally much of an eavesdropper, but he wasn’t one to pass up an opportunity to overhear a conversation, even if it turned out to be of little interest.
His pulse slowed as he pressed himself against the cool rock. He could hear the voices more clearly but they bounced off the surrounding walls, creating an echo. Esidisi started prying at the rock with his fingers, trying to find some space where he could push through. After a few attempts, he felt the pieces of rock crumble against his persistent fingers, and he grinned. Carefully, he smoothed out the edges of his makeshift hole, and then lowered his head to have a look. It was barely big enough for his thickest finger to fit through, but it would have to do. Fiddling with it anymore would run the risk of him being noticed or heard, and subsequently caught.
Esidisi lined his eye up with the hole. Immediately, he was intrigued.
There were three men. The light was low, but Esidisi could easily make out their forms. One of them was backed against the wall of the cave, his face obscured by the back of another man with thick, black hair and heavy furs draped around his shoulders. The third, a tall man with thighs even thicker than Esidisi’s, stood to the side. His horns protruded through a shock of red hair, the length of them suggesting he was likely young. He might have been an inch or two taller than Esidisi himself, but from a distance it was hard to tell. He seemed to be watching, hands square on his hips. There was a deep scowl on his face.
Of the first man against the wall, Esidisi could see only his feet. They were clad in thick brown boots that went to the knee.
“This is the last time I’m going to ask you,” said the tall man. There was a sharp edge to his voice, which was still so loud that it was surprising no one else had stumbled upon the scene before Esidisi. “I had assurances that you were not going to be there.”
“And yet you were,” the man with the furs interjected, taking a step closer. “By all rights, you should be punished for your insolence.” His voice took a mocking tone. “Can you enlighten us?”
There was no reply.
“It doesn't seem like he can, Gen,” said the tall man, the grip on his hips white-knuckled now.
Esidisi fixed his eyes on the first man’s feet to see if he might move, or do something apart from stand there in complete silence. Esidisi assumed that they were referring to the burning, but that only raised more questions. Everyone attended burnings, even if they’d never met the person who’d died. Even newborn babes went!
Now Esidisi found that he wanted answers to satisfy his own curiosity.
When the silence had stretched on for almost a minute, the man with the furs—Gen—moved suddenly. As he drew back his fist, elbow tucking into his side neatly, Esidisi almost went to call out a warning, but he held his tongue in time. He heard the telltale crack of the blow. There was no cry of pain, or even a grunt. There was only the sound of heavy breathing from Gen, his fist still raised, and a ‘tsk’ sound from the tall man.
Gen aimed a questioning glance at the other. “Illiya? Is that enough?”
“It seems we’ll have to do better than that.” The tall man, Illiya, gave a sigh. “If you aren’t going to be even the slightest bit co-operative, Kars…”
Esidisi locked onto the name, trying to recall it without success. It didn’t sound even remotely familiar.
Illiya said, “You seem to enjoy making things difficult for yourself… That, or you aren’t half as brilliant as they say you are. Of course, brilliance is entirely subjective.” He lifted a hand from his hip to snap his fingers.
This time, Gen lunged forward and grabbed a handful of Kars’s clothing. He pivoted on his heel, using the momentum to swing Kars around and slam him against the opposite wall. Illiya stepped out of the way carefully with a second to spare. There was a harsh exhale of breath from Kars as the air was pushed out of his lungs. The sound of the back of his head thudding against the rock echoed around them.
But now Kars’s face was in Esidisi’s line of sight.
From this angle, only Kars’s profile was visible. His nose had a straight slant to it, and the only colour in his face was the dark purple painted from his eyelids to the fine arch of his brows, which were drawn down sharply. His lips formed a thin line, pressed together so firmly it looked as if the blood had been drained from them. His eyes gleamed like hot coals in the low light, as bright as the fire Esidisi had spent the night lost inside. His earrings were green stones with gold inlays. He wore a circlet to match, a gold band with three green stones set in the centre, which peeked out from beneath the cloth that covered his head. A few coils of his dark hair had sprung free. Most strikingly of all, his face was devoid of any marking.
Unthinkingly, Esidisi touched the spot between his eyes, where his own markings—identical thick, red lines—intersected diagonally in their paths across his face.
“Again,” said Illiya.
Gen nodded, and his fist flew a second time.
The force of the strike caused Kars’s head to snap sideways. Esidisi held his breath, waiting for Kars to turn and throw his own fist, but it didn’t come. He only stood very still, staring in the direction his head now faced. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.
Esidisi frowned, perplexed. His eyes travelled between Kars and Gen as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. It had escalated far beyond a simple argument, but as yet, Kars had made no move to defend himself, through words or physical means. Theirs was not a violent race in general, despite the consumption of blood that was essential to their continued survival. They took only as they needed, without greed and without suffering. But, then, there were always exceptions to every rule; Esidisi was one himself. He, at least, had long since learned to control his more powerful urges, more out of necessity than choice.
Nonetheless, Esidisi had never seen this level of aggression before. Kars’s apparent refusal to retaliate or at least protect himself was even more puzzling. Fascinated, he watched on.
Kars’s tongue slid out to collect some of the blood beaded on his lip. Apart from staring coolly at Illiya for a brief moment, he maintained eye contact with Gen.
Unnerved by the continued silence, Gen sent Illiya an apprehensive glance. Illiya waved a hand dismissively, moving to stand beside Gen, who still clasped Kars by the front of his robes.
“You are a stubborn one, aren’t you?” said Illiya flatly. “Yet for all your supposed intelligence, Kars, you have little wisdom.”
Reaching out, Illiya placed two fingers under Kars’s chin and tilted his head up and to the side. Kars stared down at him, the muscles in his temples twitching as he clenched his jaw. Then Esidisi noticed the angry red of blood swelling in his cheek; his skin was beginning to bruise underneath it already. Given that Kars had taken two substantial blows to the same place, he was going to be in all kinds of pain tomorrow, even with the rapid healing rate that was unique to their people.
The silence from Kars dragged on, and Illiya sighed again. He let go of Kars, turning to say something to Gen quietly enough that Esidisi couldn’t catch it. Then Gen’s grip tightened, and for a third time he struck Kars. He aimed for the juncture where Kars’s neck met his throat. Almost immediately, Kars let out a choked grunt and grasped at his throat. A metallic sound rang out, catching Esidisi’s attention briefly. Kars sank back against the wall, and Gen released his grip in disgust. Illiya shook his head and turned around, dragging a hand over his face.
Even Esidisi had to pull away from watching to grimace. His own throat spasmed with sympathy pains. How much could one man take without at least making an attempt to fight back?
Esidisi was hardly the heroic sort. He didn’t make a habit of making other peoples’ problems his own, either. But he also wasn’t the type to sit by idly while Kars tried to get his face beaten in through sheer obstinacy. The way it was going, Kars was going to get himself killed if he continued to simply take the punishment. Whatever Kars’s crime was, Esidisi decided he would deal with it later. More pressing was the issue of preventing his death.
Esidisi’s mind raced, trying to come up with a solution. He didn’t want to be involved directly, but short of going over there himself, he was at a loss. He paused, and went back to looking through the hole.
Not surprisingly, Kars was still breathless, but he was watching his assailants intently. Illiya and Gen were talking again in hushed voices. They might have been discussing whether it was worth actually murdering Kars, given Illiya’s frustrated hand gestures and Gen making a frantic cutting motion across his throat. After a few minutes of debate, they stopped, and slowly turned around to face Kars again. Nervousness was written on Gen’s face, and Illiya looked ready to burst, his face growing redder by the second. Esidisi made a note to himself to, much later, find out just what Kars had done to provoke such wrath in Illiya. It had to at least be an interesting story.
Now it was Illiya himself who moved towards Kars. Esidisi gave up any last hope of Kars finally retaliating when he stood rigidly, hands at his sides. There was a defiant upward tilt of his chin, at least, but otherwise he was still. Esidisi readied himself. He waited until Illiya was a step or two from Kars to act.
Esidisi stood up, risking taking his eyes off them for the moment it took him to cup his hands around his mouth and let out a very exaggerated, obscenely loud sneeze. Then, he shouted, “Kars! Where did you wander off to? Hurry, will you? I’m getting cold!”
Ducking down again, Esidisi pressed his eye to the hole.
Gen and Illiya exchanged startled looks and started turning in all directions to figure out if they had been seen. They clearly hadn’t considered the very real possibility of getting caught with their proverbial pants around their knees. Behind them, Kars’s eyes were darting around wildly to locate the source of the voice, and he was frowning.
Would you at least smile a little? I did just save your life, thought Esidisi, grinning. He almost laughed at the absurdity of his idea, but it had worked.
The two men started to move about nervously. Without even a last glance at Kars or a care for finishing their business with him, they fled. Hurriedly, Esidisi threw himself backwards and crouched down behind one of the boulders. Gen and Illiya were in too much of a rush to pay him any mind, spooked thoroughly enough that all they could do was run. As they rounded the corner and their pounding footsteps faded, Esidisi laughed silently, covering his mouth. He settled into his hiding spot, waiting to see what Kars might do now he was alone.
Several minutes passed before he heard a soft groan and some shuffling sounds from around the bend. Then Kars walked by, wiping some of the blood from his mouth with the back of his forearm. He seemed in decent enough condition considering what had just happened, if a bit slow in his movements. Esidisi watched with muted interest as Kars passed him, his eyes focused ahead as he went the same way Illiya and Gen had gone. Esidisi wondered what had brought them this deep into the caverns to begin with—perhaps they’d assumed nobody would run into them here. Alas, nobody except Esidisi.
Groaning, he hefted himself up. He cast a cautious glance back in the direction the others had left, then made his way around the corner of the boulders. He went to where Kars had been standing, nudging small rocks aside as he searched. He’d heard something clatter on the floor when Kars took the last blow, and by the sound, it hadn’t strayed too far. Eventually he came across what he was looking for, and bent down to pick it up.
Esidisi held the earring up above his head, turning it over in his hand as he examined it. He chuckled as it glimmered faintly despite the poor light.
“Kars, huh?”