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I
Sakata Gintoki doesn’t think about the future nor does he think about the past.
Not because he has a great time now, or he doesn't know what to do. The reason is simple because there's no future for him.
He looks at the infinite dead bodies beside him, the stench of blood and stink of flesh flowed through his nostrils, almost immunizing him.
The same imagery, day-after-day, not a single day where he doesn’t have to kill.
He feels the stares of every people who look at him every time he goes to a village, he soon stops after knowing that those looks aren't pitying.
Sometimes, when he is lucky, the old ladies take pity and give him some leftovers. It tastes ominous, but he doesn't mind.
He watches the kids of his age, playing around, fighting each other, and studying. He sees them and feels emptiness.
Because he is not them. He is a corpse-eating demon, while they all are humans.
No one wants a demon.
Sakata Gintoki walks away, feeling nothingness and thinking nothing. He doesn't think of the date today, the date yesterday nor the date tomorrow.
II
Sakata Gintoki thinks about the future and thinks a little about the past.
He thinks of a future with Shouyou, where he would come home every day to hear the soft and soothing voices of his guardian.
He thinks of a future with Takasugi, Zura, and the other students, where they would be arguing for small things, laugh it out and drink all night.
He is content with what he has and wants nothing more.
From the tree he had been resting under, he observes Shouyou, who, as usual, smiles and laughs at some jokes his classmates say. The warm green eyes lock with his dull red ones, and the former gives him a warm look and raises his hand. Gintoki perks up, and just like a lost stray kitten, he drags himself to Shouyou.
He then notices Takasugi and Zura, who just like him, draw themselves closer to Shouyou, wrapping themselves under the warmth radiated from their teacher.
A smile finds its way on his face, and the dull red eyes glow under the bright green eyes which shower him with warmth and love.
He laughs, because he finally has a home to call him, he can finally behave like the kids of his age—pulling pranks, playing, studying, sleeping in class, fighting with friends and laughing with them.
He laughs because now he can say ‘I’m home,’ and there’d be a response, not dead silence.
He laughs because he is no longer a 'Corpse-eating demon,' but Sakata Gintoki of Shoka Sonjuku, the disciple of Yoshida Shouyou and the troublemaker of Shoka Sonjuku along with Takasugi and Zura.
There are times, where he thinks of a future if Shouyou hadn’t picked him up. He wonders if he'd just be picking food from dead bodies till old age or if he'd just die due to starvation.
But then, those times, he just stands next to Shouyou, to remind himself that, that is not the present nor it is the future he’ll have.
III
Sakata Gintoki thinks about the past and a little about the future.
When Shouyou was taken, he had every intention to bring him back—not for himself but for everyone in Shoka Sonjuku.
He thinks back, knowing that this is the only thing he can do till he finds Shouyou. Because Shouyou was his tomorrow, without his teacher, he is nothing but a corpse-eating demon.
“Protect everyone for me,”
He had every intention of keeping that promise, hence he decided to move on his own—just like the times before he met Shouyou. But, unfortunately, for him, he seemed to have forgotten that Shoka Sonjuku had idiotic students like him—especially two certain morons.
"Where are you going?" he heard Takasugi ask. When he didn't reply, the latter continued. "Wherever you are going take m—us with you.”
He thinks back, about the times where all of them were huddled up laughing, playing, fighting and whatnot.
"Gintoki, there's no need for you to take the burden," Zura smiled sympathetically, like always, reassuring him.
He thinks back, to the times where he thought no one of his age would approach him because he is not like them. But here he is—with a bunch of people just like him.
Just like him, their future is Shouyou, and just like him, they are also fighting for their teacher.
He thinks about a future where they’d be under Shouyou again, but he doesn’t think of a future where it’d be only a few survivors.
While he had maintained friendships with everyone in the class—Gin-san is the most respectful senior—he always found himself with Zura and Takasugi. They were the troublemakers, not everyone else. It was always the three of them because no one in their right mind want beatings from Shouyou.
But turns out, there'd be another idiot just like them. Sakamoto Tatsuma laughed throughout the war, who waged the war through his fucking money and who managed to puke on him several times.
He thinks back once again if things would be different if he hadn't joined the war—and to his surprise, he does have an answer because no matter how annoying Tatsuma is, he would not want to miss the chance of meeting him.
He thinks of a future with these three morons, no war, no killing—nothing and he brings his thoughts to a halt because an explosion from the other side stirs him up.
His reality is far from it.
IV
Sakata Gintoki doesn’t think about the past and the future. He is empty.
His sword cuts through his master's neck and he wakes up from his slumber. His headaches, not just from the dream but also from the beatings he received.
He waits, still, for his execution because he can’t take the pain anymore—the pain of failing and losing. He, who lost everything, has no reason to live anymore.
He watches as the guards pass by him and sneer, which would have normally erupted into a small amount of annoyance in him, but now he is too numb to feel anything.
He has already felt everything—what more is left, other than execution?
He hears the annoying noise of the metal jarring when the cells open, he braces himself for an impact only to see a plate full of food in his vision.
Looking up, he saw someone—he didn't know the person. The person stared at him with eyes he couldn't read—guilt, fear, pity. "Eat up," the person told him.
Gintoki watched the food in front of him, his stomach growling at the sight. He reaches for the food and eats it.
He feels instantly better and longs for more.
.
He sees a kid, an innocent little kid, always loitering around here. Soon he would find out that, she was the same kid he saved. A small feeling of satisfaction builds in him, knowing that the kid found a great place to call home. He thinks of the feeling and doesn't let it bother him.
“I know! When I become an executioner, I’ll take your head for you!” she exclaimed in glee and he almost wondered if she heard herself.
“You’ll cut it?” he asked instead.
“Yes! I’ll cut it nicely so you’ll go to heaven in peace!” she says as she giggled. “So, promise me that you won’t die till I become a great executioner!” she claims.
“In peace, huh?” he voices his thoughts. “That sounds nice,” his lips curve upwards. Maybe, maybe, he could have the peace he wanted. “Okay, I promise.” He makes a promise, to what he thinks will be his last.
Later, he hears the cell opening and the executioner say some words that deeply reminded him of Shouyou.
"You promised didn't you?" the executioner asks, giving a few supplies such as money, food and a sword. On further inspection, he realizes that it was the same sword that Shouyou has given—the same sword that killed many including his master.
He doesn’t think about the past, nor the future as he dragged himself to the graveyard.
He thinks he shouldn’t live, but he finds himself grabbing the offerings the old lady—Otose—kept for her late husband.
He thinks he shouldn’t try to protect when he couldn’t protect the two most important things in his life, but he still tries.
“I made a one-sided promise,” he declares. “I’ll protect your wife instead,” he says and promises.
The old lady smiled and offered him a hand. Just like Shouyou. He is, once again, given a chance, he realizes while grabbing the warm, wrinkled hand.
V
Sakata Gintoki thinks about the past and doesn't think about the future.
‘It was easier in the prison’, he thinks tiredly while tossing around on his futon. Today marks his seventh month of Yorozuya. Seven long months of doing absolutely nothing, yet doing everything. It also coincidently marks two years of losing Shouyou.
He thinks of the streets of Kabuki-Chou, wondering if Shouyou would love the loud, unruly, violent yet kind town.
He thinks of the abandoned dojo and wonders if Shouyou would have taken it and started the school.
He sees many homeless kids and thinks back to what Shouyou would have done. Gintoki then takes out how much ever money he has in his dry wallet and gives it to them.
He looks at himself in the mirror—the dark bangs under his eyes. There was a bunch of alcohol bottles in the trash. The stupid pachinko balls were of no use and, the various sleeping pills that lay on top of the fridge. He sometimes sees Shouyou standing there, smiling like the person he is, and having a disappointed look.
He tries to control his drinking habits only when he notices the small tummy fat in him, the last thing he needs is to grow out of shape. So, he once again goes back to his sweets. The ones that make him forget about his bitter past. Because after you eat something bitter, eating something sweet is natural, isn't it?
He sees the little kids playing around, fighting with each and as always, nostalgia hits him hard. He tears his ruby eyes from the scene and tries to walk ahead.
He sees the schools filled with teachers who smile warmly at their students and he tries to hold back his tears.
The roots keep pulling him, the dead keep pulling him, yet he tries to walk forward.
‘For Shouyou,’ he tells himself while crossing the river, desperately trying to live this empty dead life.
He reaches the bar, filled with most people like him—broke. He finds himself in a good spot and orders a drink. A pretty lady settles next to him, his natural play-boy instincts perk up and he sits in his best position.
They have a small conversation, quite unnecessary topics but it would definitely be weird if they start kissing right off the bat. Frankly, he didn’t care, anything to keep his mind away from the past. In some time, they climb up the stairs that lead to his house, trying not to tumble down while kissing each other as if there’s no tomorrow.
He wakes up to another nightmare. Looking to his side, he sees his futon empty. Sighing, he drags himself out of the room only to hear his shower water running. He thinks about whether to join or not, but he remembers that he is not her lover so, he decides to leave it and cook up some breakfast for himself. The girl leaves with a small good-bye, no kiss on the cheek, no hugs, no good mornings, nothing like what Shouyou would have done.
.
Otose is a good, way too kind and annoying old woman. Her kindness, just like Shouyou, will result in her downfall.
She does pester him for the rent, but she seems to understand that he had gone through something tragic. Later, he finds out that her late husband also took part in the war. Gintoki wonders if he ever met him, wonders if he was just as kind as his wife.
He sits in her bar every night, taking care of all those troublemakers. He notices the looks some elder gives, the doubtful and scornful looks.
The whispers spread like a wildfire, 'The Shiroyasha is here,' he thinks the name is bullshit. The name works only on the battlefield. After the war, he is a normal human just like Otose, the old man who gives him sweets, the newspaper fellow who makes light conversations with him, and many more. The only difference is, he has no reason to live while they work hard to live.
He waits for the day natural death hits him up, he doesn’t think about what to do tomorrow or what to do in the next five minutes.
He just lives.
VI
Sakata Gintoki thinks a little about the future and tries to not think about the past.
Shinpachi and Kagura’s sudden appearance in his life changed his empty life to a life full of bratty noises, horrible Otsu-chan's music, spending half his money on food and the other half getting blown up as usual.
He watches the two brats fight among themselves, mostly Kagura insulting Shinpachi with her sharp tongue. He is so proud of her.
“Don’t be so smug about how she’s becoming Gin-san!” Shinpachi yelled, cowering himself with a table. “And Kagura-chan stop taking your anger out on me! Direct it to Okita-san!”
"That stupid brat thinks too big!" Kagura shouted, punching wherever her hands could touch. "Just because he has one win, that doesn't mean he is stronger than me!"
He stops himself from thinking back, the way how he’d react when Takasugi, by luck, got one victory.
“Accept your defeat and get stronger, Kagura-chan, you shouldn’t be this salty!" Shinpachi complained, pushing the table off him. "You lazy perm, tell her!"
“Mother is right, Kagura,” Gintoki cleared his throat and spoke in a fatherly voice. “If Gianuke-kun and Suneosuke-kun are idiots, then you’ll be a bigger idiot by throwing things in this house around without caring about the wallet father carries around.”
“Sadaemon! I want a gadget that’ll make me stronger in an instant,” Kagura cried, eyeing him sideways.
He knew she was talking about that BBQ store she spotted two days ago. That fucking rich ass restaurant.
“Ginko and Suneko are having all sorts of Kiatm*** Po*** **! While I’m stuck here at Yamcha level!”
“Why are you using my female counterpart name?!” Gintoki yelled, putting his newspaper down.
“That is the issue?!” Shinpachi raised his voice.
“Sadaemon, do something!” Kagura ignored them and continued her wailing. Gintoki sighed, curse his soft heart, he gets up and opens his drawer. Taking out a brown envelope he says, “Here, take this—wait KAGURA!”
“Yahoo!” Kagura grabbed the envelope and ran outside.
“Gin-san, I thought you said we had no money?” Shinpachi asked, looking incredulous.
“It isn’t money, if I had money, why would I be here?” Gintoki responded dryly. “That was just a ticket to some planet that has Yamcha level—or weaker—characters there,” he sighed.
“…How did you get the ticket from, Gin-san?” Shinpachi asked, pushing the glasses up.
"Tatsuma gave 'em, said somethin' about trade," Gintoki mumbled grumpily while thinking about the letter that came with it. "That idiot can't even spell my name correctly, halfway through there were just dirty words, no relation to my name," he grunted.
Shinpachi chuckled lightly, “It’s great that Sakamoto-san was kind enough to give us tickets,” he said.
Gintoki hummed in response while thinking back to the conversation he had with Tatsuma. That space-lover always had something to say and this time it had to be about the past.
The door then slammed open, and Kagura came in with a huge tank.
“Gin-chan!” she glared at him. “You big fat liar!”
“I didn’t say anything!” he lifted his arms to cover himself. “You stupid brat, put that thing down!” he yelled, he didn’t need any more damages to be added to his overdue debt.
“You said you had money, yes!” Kagura yelled, dropping the tank down.
“I never said, you impatient glutton!” he shrieked when the tank almost hit him. “I only gave you the envelope, you were the one that went running!”
“What kind of an idiot puts tickets inside a brown envelope?!”
“The kind of idiot who lives and breathes in space!”
“Enough already! We already caused enough damage, both to the house and the anime!”
“The only ones causing extreme damage is this so-so place filled with people who think way too much, who are they trying to be? English professors?” Gintoki grumbled, picking his nose. “Just so you know, Shakespeare would have definitely not thought so much about Julius Caesar as much as the English Professors do.” He added.
“This and that are different, aren’t they?”
"Patssuan, you are too naïve." Gintoki shook his head, "That's why there are no stories about you losing your virginity even on this site,"
“THAT AND THIS ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!”
“I feel bad, yes,” Kagura added. “Even I have stories where I am not a virgin,”
“Where? Why? Who would write shit about you?” Gintoki immediately got up.
"I have the perfect figure, yes,” Kagura smiled, while posing to prove her point. “My beauty is irresistible, and my personality is top-notch—Gin-chan, why are you laughin' you useless broke old man?"
“A lady? All I see is a gluttonous little girl,” Gintoki teased.
"That's right, besides, Kagura-chan, you are too young for something like this," Shinpachi pushed his glasses up. He fished his phone from his pocket silently and started to google.
“You are just panicking because I am at least non-canonically not a virgin, while you on other hand are,”
“There are stories about me!” Shinpachi yelled, feeling flustered.
“Of course there’d be,” Gintoki said. “You get the most screen-time, if there are no stories about you, then that’d just be sad,” he shook his head.
“No! I mean, there are stories about me…about me,” he kept his head down. “Losing virginity.”
Gintoki immediately snatched the phone from his hand, “What kind of place is this making young non-adult kids have sex?” he mumbled while looking at the site. “If only,” he paused when he saw no stories of him and Ketsuno Ana. “We make a perfect duo, why is there no story of me beating her or anything?!” he yelled, tears animatedly falling from his eyes.
“The most stories you have is with Mayo-freak, yes,” Kagura leaned over to examine. “Why are there—!”
“That’s enough you two, let’s just get back to the story!” Shinpachi exclaimed, reaching over to grab his phone.
“We are anyways not in anime, so we don’t have to worry about the flow, yes,” Kagura muttered, settling down on the sofa.
“Yes, that is true, but it is still about us!” Shinpachi reasoned. “We finally make an appearance after 2500 words!”
“Those don’t matter yes, we didn’t get much detail explanation like—”
“Kagura-chan, don’t ruin the story anymore!”
Gintoki sat down on his chair and watched the two kids fight among themselves. He tries to not think about Shouyou, but he couldn’t help but wonder.
‘He would have loved them,’ he thinks, smiling at the two kids who lit up his empty life. He dreams for a day where Shouyou would also be here, laughing just like how he is.
+ 1
Sakata Gintoki thinks about the present, he doesn't think about the past or the future.
The sun, as always, found its way to disturb his already-low sleep. Groaning, he opened his eyes to adjust to the light the beamed on him.
He got up from his bed, stretching his muscles and sitting. He checked the calendar for the date, October 10th.
There was no work for him to do this time, so he could rejoice. Smiling, he got up from his and walked to the door only for the door to not open.
“Ah, Pattsuan, looks like Gin-chan got up!” he heard Kagura yell.
“Kagura-chan, don’t be so loud, he can hear you!” Shinpachi whispered loudly.
"Oi, what are you two brats doin'?!" Gintoki snapped, mustering up the force he can use to open the door and make sure the door doesn’t break.
“Gin-chan! Wait, yes!” Kagura yelled back. “Pattsuan, arrange everything quickly!”
“Kagura-chan, we haven’t done anything to arrange!” Shinpachi exclaimed. “Also, stop yelling, he can hear you!” he yelled.
"I can still hear you two!" Gintoki replied. "Open the goddamn door you two!" he yelled. What in the world have these two kids doing?
"Ah, then, Pattsuan, quick get that!" Kagura yelled, she was probably holding the door. That explains why he couldn't move easily.
“Kagura-chan, if you don’t move your bratty hands from the door, I’ll—” The door opened, revealing a smiling Shinpachi and Kagura.
“Gin-san, we are sorry!” Shinpachi apologized, reaching over to hold his hands.
“Wha—Shinpachi what?” Gintoki tried to free himself from the clutch. The hold wasn’t that tight, but before he could use more force the brat with enormous strength jumped onto him.
"Kagura—what the fuck are you two doing?!" he yelled, trying to free himself. Kagura conveniently tied a cloth against his eyes, she was tying it while he tried to free himself.
"Gin-chan, stop moving, yes!" Kagura grunted angrily. He paused, not wanting to deal with her wrath first thing in the morning.
The cloth was tied around him, and now all he could see was darkness. “Gin-chan, hold my hand, yes,” Kagura said, interlocking her hands with him.
He had no other option but to let Kagura drag him to wherever she wants. From what his other senses could sense, there was food. Delicious food, because it smelled nice—"Ouch! Kagura-chan, what the heck was that?!" he grimaced when his toe hit something hard.
"Ah, sorry, that was the—" Kagura apologized, she was soon interrupted by the glasses-wearing human.
“AHH!” Shinpachi yelled, cutting Kagura off. “Gin-san, please just go inside the restroom and shower,” he said closing the door behind. Gintoki sighed, removing the cloth from his eyes.
He thought of opening the door slightly and peeking, but then he felt a presence—maybe it was a chair. Why would they lean—?
“Kagura, Shinpachi, don’t lock the bathroom!” he yelled, banging the door. Just what the hell are these brats doing?!
“Gin-chan, stop questioning!” Kagura yelled. “You’ll know soon, yes!” she informed. Sighing, he went inside the bath pleasant to find the water hot.
“Gin-chan, are you done, yes?” Kagura knocked on the door.
“It hasn’t even been five minutes, you brat!” he yelled.
“This is not anime, yes,” she informed. “Time flows differently here,”
“As if time flowed properly in anime,” he scoffed. “Give me a five, and I’ll come out,” he said, dropping inside the water.
“Okay,” Kagura answered. “Shinpachi, we still have time!” she yelled. Time for what?
“Kagura-chan, don’t yell!” Shinpachi exclaimed, sounding panicked. Gintoki, tired of being kept in the dark, freshened up as quickly as he could and got out of the bathroom.
“Kagura, get the chair out,” he said calmly. The little kid obliged and opened the door, grinning.
Narrowing his eyes, Gintoki walked to the living room. "Now, what have you two brats—!" Confetti popped above, and he was covered with colour papers.
"I just washed—" his eyes widened when he saw the room covered with confetti and, in the middle, 'Happy Birthday Gin-chan' written in bold colours.
“Gin-chan! Happy birthday, yes!” Kagura grinned, leaning over to hug him.
"Happy birthday, Gin-san!" Shinpachi grinned broadly. He hesitated while reaching over to him, but nevertheless, he hugged Gintoki.
The perm stared at the sight in front of him. He completely forgot that today was his birthday. “When—how did you brats find out?” he croaked out.
"We found it in the wiki, yes," Kagura said.
“Kagura-chan, you could have just told that we found out through Otose-san,” Shinpachi muttered.
"But, we have told anywhere in the anime that it's Gin-chan's birthday," Kagura pointed. "These kinds of places follow sites and find out about these, yes."
“Kagura-chan, enough with the site already,” Shinpachi sighed. “Anyways, Gin-san, we are not the only ones who know,” he smiled, pulling out a box full of envelopes. “We have not just these,” he added, pulling another box. “But also these!”
“I wasn’t even talking about how to answer when someone says ‘I got only one envelope on my birthday’, and we are already dealing with this?!” Gintoki yelled, pointing at the envelopes. "This isn't my final answer!" he added.
“Yes, yes, we get it,” Shinpachi sighed. “But it’s courtesy to answer them,”
"What's the point? We are probably, no, we are definitely going to get some unnecessary ones," Gintoki mumbled, sitting down on the sofa.
“Let’s see, the first one, oh it’s from Katsura-san, as expected from a person you knew for a long time!” Shinpachi exclaimed in glee, handing the postcard.
“What will Zura even say?” Gintoki scrutinized the card.
‘I was on standby the whole time during this story.’
“I knew he’d send something useless!” Gintoki yelled, crumbling the paper, a vein popping up comically on his neck.
“He sent you a gift, Gin-san!” Shinpachi quickly showed him the small box. The said guy stared at the box.
He started to unwrap the box. "I swear if he sends—"
“Use this and Join Joi for Joy.” The mini-tape in the box said. It also had a small ball wrapped up nicely.
"Do you hear something—Holy crap, this is a bomb isn't it?!" Gintoki yelled, getting up from his place and rushing towards the window, before he could throw the thing out, it exploded. Confetti papers flew due to the wind.
"Gin-san, he wished you." Shinpachi said, holding a small paper that said, 'Happy Birthday, Gintoki.'
“You should have thrown in upwards so that those papers would have fallen on you,” Kagura added while picking her nose.
“Uh, let’s move on!” Shinpachi hurriedly reached for the next envelope. “Oh, this is from Okita-san!”
“Why do we need a card from that brat?!” Kagura said in distaste.
"Okita-san respects Gin-san a lot, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi smiled. "I'm sure this a good gift," he said, handing it to Gintoki.
‘Happy birthday, Danna. If you know any ways or want somebody to kill Hijikata-san, do inform me.' the letter said.
“This is more or less a death ticket,” Shinpachi sweat-dropped.
“I don’t mind responding to—”
“We are not going to help Okita-san kill one of the most liked characters!”
“But your rankings will go up!” Gintoki reasoned.
“That doesn't matter!" The glasses-wearing human yelled. "Let's move on to Okita-san's gift." Unwrapping the box, they were pleased to find a cake in it. The cake was chocolate, the toppings were also nicely done in chocolate flavour.
"Now, this is a gift," Gintoki smiled in glee, reaching over to eat one. Kagura nodded and did the same, but no sooner did she vomit out the food.
“What happened?” Shinpachi asked in shock after seeing the other two drop the food and run to the sink.
“It has something weird in it!” Gintoki yelled, rubbing his mouth furiously. “I think I know what it is, but I don’t want to think it is that!”
Shinpachi raised a brow. He got the cake near his nose to sniff it. "Gross! It smells like—Gin-san, it can't be that!"
“It has to be! That too, it’s the gorillas!” the perm yelled back. “Kagura gargle lots of water.” He said. “You see that topping, it’s all swirly, it has to be that!”
"Gin-san! I know Okita-san is a sadist, but he wouldn't go that far!" Shinpachi exclaimed, he then saw a piece of paper.
‘It has toilet water’. It read.
“See, Gin-san, it is not that but toilet water!”
‘I took it after Kondo-san used the restroom.’
Shinpachi crumbled the paper and threw it outside.
"Enough already! I can't believe we are going through this today!" Gintoki groaned, sitting down on the sofa.
Shinpachi smiled sheepishly. "I'm sure there'll be a nice gift," he reasoned. "Oh, see, Tsukuyo-san and the others gave a one."
"I bet kunai will be popping out of nowhere," Gintoki mumbled, reaching over to the envelope.
‘Happy birthday. I got you a coupon for Yoshiwara’s—’
"I take it back. She gave the best gift till now," Gintoki said, sitting up straight, feeling giddy.
‘—old ladies bar. Everything is for free.’
Gintoki paused, his excitement turned into disgust. “Shinpachi, get me a lighter.”
"How against is she for Gin-san to enjoy in Yoshiwara?" Shinpachi whispered to Kagura, looking at Gintoki, who burned the ticket.
Kagura shrugged in response, she then took out another envelope. “Gin-chan, we got one from the gorillas.”
‘Happy birthday! I’d like to take this as an opportunity to invite you for our baby shower—”
“WHEN DID HE SKIP SO MANY STEPS?!” Shinpachi took the card and tore it into pieces.
"Huh? What is happening? Why is everyone telling other things? Why are my birthday wishes are getting overshadowed?" Gintoki questioned, staring at the letters. "Oi, Oi, I don't think we have any sane person here—"
“Gin-chan, the gorillas aren’t the only ones who took many steps,” Kagura said dryly, holding an envelope.
‘Happy birthday and anniversary, darling! Who would have thought we’d get married on the same day as your birthday!’
“The hell we have!” Gintoki flushed the paper. “This bitch has really done it now! What anniversary?!” he yelled angrily.
“Like always, she sent everywhere,” Kagura held another envelope.
‘Happy birthday and anniversary! Careful not to get a divorce.’
“Ketsuna Ana!” he cried, reading the message. “Enough already, we haven’t even covered half the cast, but I’m already tired.” He held a few envelopes. “These people make even cards from N***to, L***y, G***, and Hid***i S***chi seem normal,” he slumped down on the couch, holding the said envelopes.
“You—I don’t have a line against this,” Shinpachi sighed, he then noticed another card.
“Oh, Hijikata-san sent you one too,” Shinpachi said. “I’m sure this is a normal one,” he smiled.
‘Happy birthday. For today, you get a special mayonnaise bottle.’ A mayonnaise bottle nicely wrapped was beside it.
“What am I supposed to do with this dog shit?” Gintoki questioned, holding the bottle. “He could have at least cleared all my cases.” He said.
“Uh, Gin-san, Takasugi-san sent you one.” Shinpachi stuttered, holding an envelope.
“Huh?! Takasugi?! What di that bastard even send?” Gintoki exclaimed, turning the card to read it.
‘Happy Birthday. I'll be destroying everything, including you, but today I'll give it a rest.' It said besides it was a small box filled with sweets and one Yakult bottle.
"His gift is the most normal one," Gintoki said. "Takasugi sent the most normal gift." He repeated slowly. "Takasugi, the guy who is a chunibyo, sent the most logical gift."
“It might destroy on the inside, Gin-chan,” Kagura pointed.
“I think that part has already been cleared,” Shinpachi muttered. “Anyways, at least Takasugi-san was kind enough to send a meaningful gift,” he smiled. “Oh, we have Sakamoto-san’s too.”
“Tatsuma? Bet it’s going to be something about screentime.” Gintoki rolled his eyes.
‘Happy birthday, Kintoki! Can my return gift be more screen-time?’
“See? Also, how many times will he mess my name?!” Gintoki exclaimed, crushing the paper. He then took out the box he got from Tatsuma. Unwrapping the box, he saw a stone that looked like poop.
"What the hell is with this gift?!" he yelled, throwing the stone against the wall only for it to bounce back and hit him.
“Oh, Mutsu-san said something.” Shinpachi held a card.
‘Don’t bother throwing that stone. Happy Birthday.’
Kagura sighed as she skimmed through the letters, one of them caught her eye. “Gin-chan, there’s one from my idiotic-brother!” she exclaimed, holding a paper.
“What does he want now?”
‘Happy birthday, I won’t kill you today but tomorrow!’
"Well… it looks normal," Gintoki commented.
"It really shouldn't Gin-san, but among all the gifts, it suddenly feels normal," Shinpachi said, sweat-dropping.
“Boss Lady sent one too,” Kagura held an envelope.
‘Happy birthday. If only the day was happy, I am saddened to say that we have lost our gorilla.’
“Hasn’t this happened before?”
“Please don’t tell anyone.” Shinpachi looked away. Sighing, Gintoki took another present.
He stared at the card with an unreadable expression. "Shinpachi, your sister was not the only one who caused a murder—riot."
'Happy Birthday. I'm going to kill the gorilla as a gift, and in return, give me your useless t******es so that I can get with Tae-chan.'
Gintoki blanched. "What do all these people have against me? Why can't they write normal and meaningful wishes?!" he screeched, holding on to his balls. His red eyes then noticed a cardboard material among all the papers.
“Uh, what’s this cardboard box? Is this a wing?” Gintoki raised a brow, staring at it.
'Happy birthday, Gin-san! I thought that the angel wings would grant your wishes'
“Someone grant Hasegawa-san’s wishes already!” Shinpachi cried. “I’m feeling bad for him now!”
Gintoki sighed, he picked up another card. "This better be a good one," he mumbled.
'Happy birthday. You can have this month's jump issue.'
"He has a heart!" Gintoki exclaimed, holding the hard. "Why did the biggest idiots give me proper gifts?!
“Does this cover everyone who appeared in the anime?”
"We have too many, yes, Soyo-chan, Old man Gengai, and more." Kagura counted.
"The author can't think of any more lines for them, so it's over. They have been mentioned, that's all." Gintoki said, picking his nose.
"I suppose you are right. Besides, it's lunchtime now. Otose-san and the others said they'd give you a treat," SHinapchi smiled.
“Now, this is a gift.” Gintoki got up, the other two smiled and followed him down.
"Gintoki-sama, happy birthday." Tama smiled, leading them to the dining table. "Otose-sama and Catherine-sama have already settled and been waiting for you."
“Tama, the cake?” Shinpachi whispered once he saw Gintoki walk towards the table with Kagura.
"I'll bring it right now," Tama smiled, going to the kitchen.
"I'll let you off the rent for this month as a gift," Otose said, letting out a cloud of smoke. "Now, at least learn to be responsible." She added.
"You had too many lines. Now, it's my turn," Catherine said, pushing Gintoki off.
“Where are you pushing me?! There’s no screen!” he yelled, pushing her off.
“Otose-sama, where do I put this?” Tama asked, bringing the cake.
"Put it in the middle," Otose answered. "You two stop fighting; Gintoki makes a wish." She sighed.
Gintoki paused, thinking about a wish.
“Gintoki, it's common to have a wish, it doesn't have to be anything grand. Just a small one is enough." Shouyou smiled, bringing him closer to the cake and holding his hand while slicing it.
Smiling, he took a deep breath and blew the candles. “Thank you.” He thought, feeling a warm presence beside him. Turning he saw, Kagura and Shinpachi smiling at him.