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Bennett knows he is unlucky; he knows, and he usually doesn’t mind being reminded. Some days are worse than others, and everything good, anything that can conjure up real happiness in him — that’s a miracle. Having said that, though, the fact he is still alive, he believes, is not a miracle, but an act of mercy of the Gods. And this gives it all the more probability to be so easily taken away.
He lives each day with his stars hanging over his head, and brushes with death that resulted in survival eventually stopped begetting a feeling of relief, but instead, a dread, and a reminder of his mortality.
Because even rising at six in the morning to prepare breakfast and clean the house through-and-through and feed his dads their medicine and fetch the groceries and go out for a taste of freedom and be struck by lightning and roll down a hill and break three limbs during the fall, each day and so-on — even this, even this, was something that one boy couldn’t handle, but he must, as misfortune would have it.
Rotas Calamitas. The Librarian, Miss Lisa, told him this. He barely understood it at the time. He was only a child.
“There’s no mistaking it. This child was born under these stars.”
Bennett’s bad luck was written under the stars. It shadows everything he does, and everything he will do. But he will live anyway. As long as Bennett has a reason, he will live. And these reasons are infinite, right? Teammates, good food, warm sun, a roof over his head, and an adventure to throw himself into.
But Bennett’s reasons float away all the time. His teammates always leave. He can barely even stomach most of his favourite foods. His roof’s been struck by lightning countless times. But, he decides, he will keep looking for those reasons, because he is an optimist. That’s what they call him, at least. And maybe, if he wasn’t an optimist, he’d be agreeing with all the rest of them that he was doomed for the start.
He wants to be happy. And he knows it’s bold, but he wants to enjoy life — this screwed, suckish, janked-up life of his.
And he can’t have this joy hinge on luck. He can’t. But he’s chasing it all the time, anyway. He’s chasing that bountiful treasure, that magnum opus. The antidote for life itself. Maybe one day, he’ll be lucky enough to find it.
A miracle. A real miracle.
He’ll break as many limbs as he needs to until then, because the stars wrote pain into each page of his book of life.
“But, hey, Miss Lisa.. Why? Why me?”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I couldn’t tell you. It just is.”
The birds are singing, and the sun shines over two boys.
Later, it will rain, and they will be soaking wet, both drenched by one’s fated misfortune.
“ Mir-uh-call.”
“Hmm?”
“Heard a man say it. At Springvale. I watched, from bush. He caught a fish. Very big catch, very big fish. He.. sounded happy.”
“Really? Like, how big was it?”
“Mm.. This big. From here…
… To here.”
“Holy frickin’ cow, that’s massive! I’d call that a miracle, too!”
“Thinking of it.. Razor also shocked. But, that word — mir-uh-call . For when something very good happens?”
“Mhm! Hehe. Something lucky. It’s like when I open a chest, and there’s cabbages, instead of radishes — ‘cause I don’t really like radishes, but I love cabbage. Okay, maybe that’s not a miracle, a miracle would be if I found some Mora, but that, uh, hasn’t happened yet.”
“Hmm.. Razor prefer food over Mora. But.. not green. Bennett like green?”
“Only some! Like, I hate turnips. They taste weird in my mouth. But, I love cabbage—you can put it on just about anything. Broccoli and carrots are pretty good, too, but they kinda give me crazy diarrhea.”
“Mm.. Don’t like any green. Only meat. But, if you like it, then I can try. For you.”
“Pff. Hehe. For me? Then I want to find a veggie dish you really like! There’s gotta be one! Something super duper tasty! We can travel and travel ‘til we find the perfect dish. How about it? It’ll be an adventure!”
“Mmhm. Everything an adventure, with Bennett.”
“Ah, uh.. Was I too enthusiastic?”
“Never too much. Adventure is fun. Lots of trying new things.”
“Haha, you sure, buddy? Even with the unluckiest adventurer alive?”
“It is always fun, trying with you.”
“You, uh.. Wouldn’t rather do it with someone else? Even with my luck?”
He firmly shakes his head.
“Razor, always afraid of change. Good, bad. But with you, change.. is fun.”
Then he pauses, as if to think. Furrows his eyebrows, and twiddles his thumbs, as if impatient with his own words.
“Bennett.. You, afraid of unlucky things. But you.. are here. You..”
He mutters something Bennett can barely hear. A word, and he’s sounding it out.
He mouths it once, twice, thrice. Bennett can’t tell what it is, but he finally seems satisfied.
And then Razor smiles, and utters these four words.
And these four words change everything:
“You are my miracle.”
Razor doesn’t smile much. But when he does, he smiles more tenderly than, Bennett thinks, anyone else has smiled—in history, ever.
Lost in a trance, Bennett now feels a thumb wiping at cheek. He looks up to find Razor’s wide ruby-red eyes, flicking about with concern.
“Sorry, I.. Why.. Am I crying? Haha.. I..”
Wordlessly, Razor’s lean, strong arms wrap around the other boy, and pull him into a tight, warm hug.
But the hot tears roll down Bennett’s cheek without mercy, without end.
“Shh..” Razor whispers. “Bennett.”
He pulls back briefly to press a kiss onto Bennett’s cheek, and the white-haired adventurer is pulled into the warm of his mane once more. Bennett feels Razor shaking as he rubs circles into his back.
“It is okay. Even wolf cry.”
Bennett can’t stop his tears from falling. And yet, he also can’t help but smile. He wipes his snot with his glove, head still warmly lodged over Razor’s shoulder.
“Hehe.. Hey. Razor.”
“Mm.”
“I.. I’m your miracle, huh? That’s.. nonsense, really. ‘Cause.. ‘cause you’re mine. And besides, I’m the unlucky one, so that makes you.. even more special.”
Razor stills, then huffs a laugh into his shoulder.
“Silly, Bennett. Both can be miracle.”
“Listen to me, sweetie. You have a curse. But you also have a gift. Your body is very strong. You’ve got a fire in your eyes. And that charming little smile of yours is contagious. Mm, yes, it is! This Librarian doesn’t lie. You see—you’ll do amazing things, just because you’re you. So don’t worry about those folks. They’re too blind to see your little fire. Live your life the way you want. Be brave, little one. Be brave. Our time here is short. And each day you live, each breath you take—
— that is a miracle.”