Chapter Text
It’s the first day of December and cold in Seoul reaches your very soul. It’s one of those chilly nights where people prefer to stay at home rather than die frozen on the deserted streets, because not even five layers of clothing are enough. It will be a tough winter, the weatherman already predicted, but that night, in Hoseok and Namjoon’s apartment, the warmth of friendship and laughter keeps six boys snug and cosy. Although the heater in their living room is partly responsible for that too.
“No way!” Jimin screams. Laughter clouds his eyes with dense tears as loud giggles escape his wide-open mouth. He unsuccessfully tries to cover them with his tiny hand.
“I swear!” Namjoon replies scandalised, throwing his arms in all directions in a desperate attempt to mimic his emotions. “He came out of the shower with his dick on display while I was chatting with my parents on this very couch!”
“It was a surprise visit, Namjoon-ah! How could I have known?” Hoseok counteracts quite annoyed, but the truth is that he doesn’t seem one bit perturbed.
“If you didn’t shower with your music at full blast, you would have heard me knocking on the door!” Namjoon lifts his hand to stop Hoseok from giving more lame excuses. “It doesn’t matter. Who even comes out of the bathroom naked? Isn’t it cold?”
“Hedonists,” Taehyung replies from his side of the couch, long legs bent on the tiny space Hoseok and Namjoon are not occupying.
“Hot people,” Yoongi adds.
"Thanks for that one," Hoseok winks.
“I swear, I won’t let any of you blame me for breaking things anymore! If I walk around with my eyes closed it’s just in case I come across things that I don’t want to see!” Namjoon grumbles to no one in particular.
“He really is no fun,” Hoseok mumbles, gesturing towards his roommate with the sourest expression, which makes Jimin laugh again, falling onto the floor.
The only one who isn’t making any noise is Jungkook, who is sharing the other couch with Jimin, across from their other three friends. It’s not that Jungkook doesn’t find it funny, it’s more like he is choking on his own laughter, to the point where silent laughs are stuck on his throat as he imagines the situation, focusing on Namjoon’s horrified face.
Jungkook is new to this peculiar group of friends. Having just started college, he found himself friendless in a new city. Bless life for making his and Jimin’s paths cross that shitty rainy day at the library when he forgot his umbrella. Kind Jimin took pity on the desperate kid that tried to stuff his backpack under his thin bomber jacket, in an attempt to not get his laptop wet under the heavy storm, and offered to walk him to his faculty. Jimin was heading there anyway to pick up a friend of his who apparently lived as if umbrellas had never been invented either.
That is how Jungkook came to meet none other than Yoongi, the brilliant Min Yoongi that all his teachers talked about. It seemed that the guy was a genius producer and Jungkook had come to Seoul to become the best musician he could be; producer, lyricist, composer, engineer... you named it! He wasn’t sure about his field of expertise yet, but the mentions of Yoongi had only increased his determination. In his astonishment, Jungkook freaked out a bit too much over Yoongi and how the teachers used him as an example on how to make it in the industry. Good-natured Yoongi, even if blushing and feeling a tad awkward, didn’t take Jungkook for a madman, like many others could have done, and thanked him shyly, a delighted feeling curling the corner of his lips. Jimin just burst out laughing at Jungkook’s enthusiasm, finding the younger boy endearing.
“Weren’t you destined to meet? Musicians and prone to not check the weather forecast.”
Meeting the rest of the gang was just a matter of time. Jimin exchanged numbers with him at the sight of Jungkook being a new innocent soul in college life; and because Jimin had liked the way Jungkook had made the infamous stony Min Yoongi melt into a puddle the moment he had opened his mouth. Usually, it took Yoongi a little longer to let his guard down and let his body blush at compliments, but cute Jungkook was able to tear his walls down from their very first meeting.
Jungkook kept in touch with Jimin over text the following days, until they bumped into each other again at the cafeteria on a busy Monday. He wasn’t alone this time. A taller and slender figure that introduced himself as Kim Taehyung accompanied him. It turned out the guy was Jimin’s flatmate and an Arts major, something Jungkook deeply admired since he had also been interested in pursuing a Graphic Design degree himself if music hadn’t worked out for him.
Jungkook found it difficult to describe Taehyung. He was probably the most elegant person he had laid eyes on. Long limbs and good posture already made the ideal package, but the guy also had a perm that gave him the softest looking black curls. If only he was just that, though. Taehyung was very well-spoken, had peculiar mannerisms like humming when waiting for his order, starting his sentences slow and gaining speed as he spoke, biting the inside of his cheek when you talked to him about something that interested him. He also had a soft but low voice that reverberated through Jungkook’s eardrums every time a word left his lips. He felt enchanted listening to him speak, getting the feeling that he was an extroverted old soul that loved weird topics of conversation, like Greek philosophers and haunted houses in New Orleans where old Jazz musicians had composed their most acclaimed pieces. Jungkook was a wanderer in an arduous maze when it came to these subjects, but Taehyung made it so easy to navigate through them. Even if Jungkook didn’t have a clue what the other guy was talking about, he always made sure to explain things to him and ask for his opinion. And that had just been the first time they had met each other.
It didn’t take them long to invite Jungkook over to one of their get-togethers at Jimin and Taehyung’s apartment, where he had the pleasure to meet the last two members of their group of friends, Jung Hoseok and Kim Namjoon. It was reassuring to Jungkook that they were as welcoming as the previous three, if not more. Namjoon made everything sound interesting, giving the feeling that he was a very grounded and composed individual, someone reliable, while Hoseok was the complete opposite, inviting Jungkook to shots of vodka not even five minutes after they had been introduced. The rest was history.
Four months later here he is, bending over the couch, holding his stomach tightly with both arms as if it could burst from the jolts of laughter erupting out of him. He has never met funnier people; if he didn’t count his brother Seokjin, that is. They could spend days and days together and still don’t run out of jokes and accidents that later on become memorable anecdotes. The most important part for Jungkook is that he has never felt more comfortable with a bunch of people that weren’t related to him. He has come to know them so well in the past months that when he notices that Taehyung is quieter than usual, he knows something is up.
Taehyung is quite reserved. Being a social butterfly didn’t mean he laid all his secrets bare. He knew how to talk a lot without telling too much, and even if he was a big talker, he was a great listener too, so it wasn’t rare to see him silent as others carried the conversation.
This one isn't one of those situations. Taehyung isn’t listening, and Jungkook knows that because the guy has been staring at a stain on the carpet for the past ten minutes, barely blinking. People get distracted sometimes, of course, but his lips are faintly pulled down and the inner corners of his brows are raised, eyes devoid of emotion in a way that is not natural in Taehyung’s lively ones.
It gets worse when the topic of conversation shifts from Hoseok’s best crackhead moments to Christmas.
“I don’t know how I’m going to face my parents again these holidays after that incident,” Namjoon says, unable to move on from Hoseok’s embarrassing moment.
“Just like you do everything else, apparently. With your eyes closed,” Hoseok replies so as to get some laughs out of everyone else. Namjoon gives him a disapproving look.
“Ah, Christmas,” Yoongi scrunches his nose. “I can’t wait to see my dog!” He squirms in joy at the thought of his beloved poodle, pleased smile chubbing his cheeks.
“I can’t wait to eat like there is no tomorrow, if you ask me,” Jungkook adds, visualising the big Christmas menu and all his family gathered around the endless dishes that everyone helps to make.
“Oh! My mum has this Bulgogi recipe that is just,” Jimin brings the tip of his fingers to his mouth, “chef’s kiss! She makes it every time I come back. If there were leftovers, I would bring you some, but I’m afraid we will probably eat it all.”
“Are you guys going to Busan together?” Hoseok asks Jimin and Jungkook.
The Busan accent was one of the things that reassured Jungkook the most when he first met the guy. To him, Jimin sounded like home.
“No. I bought the tickets when the semester started,” Jimin explained. “It was cheaper, you know? We didn’t know Jungkookie back then, otherwise, I would have waited for him.”
“I haven’t bought the train tickets yet,” Jungkook says.
“Don’t leave it or else they will sell out,” Namjoon advises him before taking a sip of his beer.
“I know. I’m waiting for my brother. You know he lives in Seoul too, but he doesn’t know if he has to work during Christmas, so we are kind of waiting for that.”
“Fuck big companies, man,” Yoongi scorns, sucking in air through his mouth, touching his lips like he always does when he’s about to address a topic that exasperates him.
“Yes, we know that’s why you are a freelancer,” Jimin rolls his eyes, fearing that the elder might start rambling on endlessly about their corrupt system and whatnot.
“You know what I’m waiting for?” Hoseok interferes with a wide smile, almost standing up from the couch. “The snow.”
“Oh, yes!” Some say in unison, even clapping.
“It rarely snows in Seoul during Christmas,” Hoseok complains, slouching on the couch again.
“It does snow, but it melts easily. Heavier snowfalls happen in January,” Yoongi corrects him. “Such a shame.”
“We had a couple of snowfalls during Christmas in Gwangju and I can’t imagine a white Christmas ever since,” Hoseok reminisces, eyes sparkling with excitement.
“According to my father, this winter is going to be pretty cold, so it’s more than likely that it will snow, I guess,” Yoongi adds, crossing his hands around his knee.
“Maybe this time it will stick in Seoul,” Jungkook comments, hopeful, looking directly at Taehyung who seems lost in his own world, unfocused eyes staring off into space.
“That would be nice,” Namjoon agrees.
Jungkook knows that Taehyung is from Seoul, so he isn’t going anywhere for Christmas and, therefore, he doesn’t match their excitement, but something bugs Jungkook at the sight of his friend, so sullen and passive, utterly uninvolved in the conversation. He looks as if someone had sucked the life out of him. Any other day he would have been begging Yoongi to show him pictures of his dog at the mention of the pet, or discussing how snowflakes have unique delicate patterns that look like cobwebs, as if snow spiders were the ones in charge of weaving them, or making one of his many idiosyncratic observations. But there is nothing there today. It’s a waste land.
It’s not until they are clearing the table that Jungkook pulls Jimin apart from the rest discreetly.
“What’s up with Tae?” Jungkook whispers as he puts on his coat to leave.
“What about him?” Jimin mimics him, grabbing his own anorak.
“Is he okay? He barely said a word tonight.”
“Oh.” Jungkook waits for him to continue as Jimin looks around, making sure that none of the other boys is close by. “He’s not very fond of Christmas, you know? He tends to get rather broody when December starts and all the Christmas paraphernalia hits the streets.”
Jungkook frowns. “Why?”
Jimin shrugs, scratching his head and looking at his feet as the anorak engulfs him.
“He told me once that Christmas was nothing special to him, that December was just another month of the year.”
“Is his family not catholic?”
“I don’t know.” Jimin sighs, lips tight in a halfhearted smile. “Some people just don’t like Christmas, Kook.”
Jungkook’s puzzlement only grows. While it’s true that there may be people who doesn’t enjoy Christmas, Taehyung doesn’t look the type to not get thrilled by such a magical holiday. Along with Hoseok, Taehyung is the biggest party animal he has ever met. He likes small gatherings like today’s, wild club parties, chic cocktails soirees, weddings where he doesn’t even know most of the guests but still leaves with a couple of new friends, any kind of festivity or celebration that involves the consumption of alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages… He is up for anything. Jungkook can’t recall the amount of times Taehyung has dragged him out of his dorm midweek to take him to a social event. That is why it doesn’t add up that Taehyung feels absolute nonchalance about the biggest celebration of the year.
Someone flushes the toilet and footsteps are heard coming down the hallway as Jimin and Jungkook keep staring at each other with words left unsaid on Jungkook’s part and definitely on Jimin’s who, Jungkook believes, is not sharing everything he knows. Taehyung appears in the living room rearranging the waistband of his jeans, staring at the floor, looking so out of it.
In the few months that he has known Taehyung, Jungkook could say he is one of the hyungs he’s closest to. Jungkook has never been an extrovert guy, always preferring to lurk in the shadows. However, according to his brother, his Leo moon is powerful. Even if it hides during the day in plain sight, when the darkness comes, it shines the brightest, and Taehyung brings the night to him. Jungkook loves it, because even if Taehyung seems rather reckless, there is this big temperance underneath his wild persona that achieves the perfect balance of shenanigans and moderation that very few people can manage. Jungkook always feels safe with Taehyung, no matter what.
Taehyung is alive . That is the adjective that comes to Jungkook’s mind when he thinks about him. It’s the tallest flame in a bonfire, a flame that shines even brighter than the stars in the night sky. He doesn’t smile easily, Jungkook has come to realise. It’s something he didn’t notice at first. Taehyung always saves his genuine smiles for the people he truly cares about, and since Jungkook always saw him around Jimin and the others, he couldn’t tell before. He had to go to an art exhibition held by one of Taehyung’s classmates to realise how hard it is to win him over. His approval isn’t something he hands easily, because Taehyung can be many things, but not a fool. He isn’t fooled or bribed easily. He resembles a cat that has lived at least five lives and sees through people’s intentions right away.
That is why Jungkook holds very dear to his heart the first time they met, because by the end of it, Taehyung’s boxy lips were curling adorably at the way Jungkook tried to explain why he thought Aristotle was the best of the Greek gang just by the little context the older had shared with him previously. Taehyung ended up smiling at him that day and he hasn’t stopped ever since.
So, it’s weird when Taehyung is not smiling around them, not even locking eyes with any of them. Not even when Jimin, his ultimate best friend, addresses him to put on his coat so they can leave.
“We are taking Jungkookie home first, okay?” Jimin nudges when they all gather around the main door, saying goodbye. Taehyung only shrugs, which feels like a kick in the gut for Jungkook. He is the maknae of the group and therefore the most spoiled. Not receiving attention is kind of unnatural.
“Are you really okay with it? I could ask Yoongi-hyung to drive me home.”
At the sour taste of Jungkook’s words, Taehyung lifts his head for the first time that night. It’s a good thing that they are the same height and Jungkook can appreciate every little detail on his sorrowful face.
“Of course, Kook,” he curls his lips amiably and Jungkook is completely taken aback by the contrast compared to his sullen mood all night.
Sadly, the beautiful smile doesn’t reach his eyes.