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It started the first night Ryuunosuke and Susato stayed there, but Ryuunosuke didn’t notice until the second. The first night was just rhythmic creaking, and Ryuunosuke attributed it to the wind, rolled over, and went back to sleep. The second night, however, was creaking accompanied by thumping and whimpers.
Ryuunosuke didn’t know much about the act itself, but he was pretty sure someone was having sex in Mr. Sholmes’ flat.
Let Mr. Sholmes tell it, he was as single as single could be. It certainly wasn’t Susato; Ryuunosuke couldn’t imagine her doing such a thing. And, of course, Iris was completely out of the question. She was far too young, too innocent...which made it even worse that whoever it was was being so loud, because she could surely hear it.
It has to be Mr. Sholmes, Ryuunosuke thought on the third night. The creaking had slowed to a stop. He had no idea if Susato was hearing it too, but he was too afraid to ask, so all he could do was lay there and wait for it to pass so he could get some sleep. He had to talk to Mr. Sholmes about it over breakfast, though...or maybe he didn’t. It was probably just the wind, and the thumping and the whimpers were in his head, and—
The thumping and creaking started again.
Ryuunosuke folded his pillow over his ears and groaned. Yeah. They had to talk about it.
“Ah, Mr. Sholmes, if you have a moment to spare...?”
“I’m afraid I rarely do, Mr. Naruhodou! But I still encourage you to try your hand. How can I be of service?”
“Well, er...I’m not sure how to approach this. You see, I...I was wondering if you’ve been having any company lately? At night? Well, that’s none of my business, of course, but...if it’s not too much, could I ask that you...keep it down?”
“‘Keep it down’? Why, I would if I could, my dear boy, but I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re referring to.”
“It’s the...the noises. Coming from your bedroom, I think.”
“You think?”
“Yes, it’s—well—bedroom noises.”
“What good hearing you have! You can tell when I’m putting on my pajamas?”
“No! Not those kinds of bedroom noises. I mean...actually, it might be in my head.”
“I’ve heard the Old Bailey tends to drive men insane, Mr. Naruhodou. I pray you’re not next.”
“...Yes. Me too.”
On the fourth night, the whimpers got louder. They were more like moans, actually.
Whatever doubt that Ryuunosuke had had about someone having sex down the hall was quickly erased when he heard the girlish noises get louder, more needy. He felt like he was doing something wrong, hearing a woman like that; he didn’t even like reading steamy literature. How was he supposed to handle these sounds?
Even Mr. Sholmes couldn’t ignore what was happening at that volume, Ryuunosuke was sure. If, somehow, it wasn’t him, then he’d have to be hearing what was going on. Determined to put an end to it all, Ryuunosuke threw his blankets off and got off of his bed—
And the second his feet hit the floor, he heard, “Please, Hurley, more.”
“Iris? Could I ask you something? It’s no big deal, but if you have the time...”
“You should really get out of the habit of talking yourself down, Runo! Everything you say is a big deal to me!”
“Heh...that’s very sweet. Well then, um, I just wanted to ask a bit of a strange question. Does, um...does anybody else call Mr. Sholmes ‘Hurley’?”
“Hm...well, not as far as I know, and Hurley doesn’t really have any friends aside from you and Susie and my Daddy, so...I guess that’s a no! It’s my special little nickname, I suppose. Don’t you go stealing it, Runo! You’ll have to think of your own.”
“...I wouldn’t worry about that.”
Ryuunosuke had figured it all out. Mr. Sholmes had a secret lover, one that even Iris knew nothing about, and that woman called him Hurley when they were making love. She just so happened to sound like Iris when she moaned, and that was that. He wasn’t even sure why he asked Iris that question; obviously Mr. Sholmes couldn’t have been having...relations with a little girl.
All that aside, Ryuunosuke still hadn’t figured out how to stop the noises from happening. The passive part of him still hoped that it would just go away, but eventually, it had been a week, and Mr. Sholmes and his mystery woman hadn’t missed a night. So, once again, Ryuunosuke decided to go pay Mr. Sholmes’ room a visit...
But Susato paid him a visit first, knocking softly at the door before whispering his name. “Naruhodou-san? Are you awake?”
“Yes...unfortunately.”
Susato opened the door, peeking in very briefly before letting out an audible sigh of relief. “So, it’s not you.”
“Wh—did you think—” Ryuunosuke paused, and the creaking and thumping and moaning filled the room. Susato blushed and averted her eyes, and Ryuunosuke put his head in his hands. “No, it is not me. It’s clearly Mr. Sholmes.”
“That’s what I thought, too! I figured he was having company,” Susato began, and Ryuunosuke nodded in agreement. “But, I was...a little skeptical. After all, I’ve read every one of Iris’ stories, and not one of them mentions a lady friend! So, I...just happened to be in the hallway outside of his room shortly before the noises began—”
“‘Just happened to be’?”
“Yes,” Susato snapped, defensively. “Well, my point is, I saw Iris going in there. And nobody else.”
Ryuunosuke blinked.
“Well, that can’t be right.”
“Stranger things have happened,” Susato agreed, but her voice was hesitant. “But it wasn’t just tonight, either. The past three nights, I’ve seen Iris go in there, and then the sounds started shortly after.”
“That can’t be right,” Ryuunosuke repeated, quieter that time. He and Susato had turned the same shade of pink by then, falling silent as the sounds of Mr. Sholmes’ tryst filled the room. Despite the mutual discomfort, neither of them spoke until the sounds had stopped, and they were both thoroughly embarrassed.
Susato meekly said, “I think we ought to buy ourselves a pair of earplugs and forget that we had this conversation, Naruhodou-san.”
“That sounds like a very good idea, Susato-san.”
“Hurley...maybe this isn’t a good idea. I feel bad for Runo and Susie. What’s the point of doing all of this, anyway?”
“To see what their reaction is, of course!” Herlock lit his pipe and took a long drag, looking quite satisfied with both his lover and his latest scheme. “Besides...isn’t it fun to know you have an audience? You moan so prettily, Iris. Why not let everyone hear it?”
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere with me, Hurley,” Iris said stubbornly, despite the way his voice made her legs tense. “It won’t be quite as fun if one of them has a word with Inspector Gregson, now, will it?”
“Ah, the same Inspector that you have wrapped around your little finger? Words can’t express how afraid I am of the consequences.” Herlock put his pipe out, somewhat more quickly than usual, and Iris sighed with equal parts exhaustion and affection as he climbed on top of her again. “Now, let’s give them an encore, shall we? And, please—don’t be shy.”