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Lena Wants to Die
Colonel Vladilena Milizé—Bloody Regina of the Republic, Tactical Commander of the 86th Strike Package—wanted to curl up and die. Her blushing face was buried in her hands. When did it all go wrong? She would have rather faced the Legion than go through...this.
Well, not quite. But it was that bad.
Oblivious to the utter suffering of their beloved—and the existence of an eager audience, some of whom were grabbing popcorn and placing bets—Shin and Shiden were engaged in an impassioned debate amidst the cafeteria tables of the Rüstkammer Base mess hall.
Said debate was focused on that nagging question which irked both the Reaper of the Eastern Front and the Cyclops of the Queen's Guard—a question which had also somehow gripped the attention of a growing audience.
Much to Lena's dismay.
Shiden formed finger-guns, and after kissing both—pointed them at Her Majesty. Bang. Meanwhile, Bloody Regina continued to bury her tomato-red face in her hands. This was not happening. This was not happening. This was not—
"What I'm trying to say, Lil Reaper," Shin clenched his fists. Raiden let out a slight chuckle. Many female processors—and quite a few male ones—raised their eyebrows. "...is that my fingers definitely made Her Majesty cum more..."
Thankfully, Frederica was at Sankt Jeder with President Zimmerman—the old man was starting to miss his adopted daughter. Meanwhile, the younger processors were all fortunately busy with schoolwork.
Unfortunately, that meant there was precious little to restrain the furious exchange of words before Lena—and the annoyingly growing audience that was becoming increasingly privy to their bedroom antics.
Shin rubbed his chin. Tsk. How crude. Shiden smirked.
"Can't come up with an answer, Lil—"
"For the record...my dear counterfeit Amazonian," Shin smirked. He knew that mythical reference would be over that stupid girl-gorilla's head. Said girl-gorilla's eyes were twitching. Bang. "...this Reaper has not just fingers—but a scythe. And it has quite the long reach, you know..."
Quite a number of female processors—and male processors—swooned. Those that remained standing were blushing. Their reddened faces began resembled that of Bloody Regina, who was still burying her face in her hands as if she were an ostrich. She did, in fact, wished at that moment that she was an ostrich—what admirable lives they lived, escaping troube by burying their heads in sand! Ah, if only my troubles could go away that easily. Meanwhile, Kurena had drool dripping from her mouth. I'm over him but still...Shin-niisan!
"...and as my dear Cyclops must know," The sarcasm was palpable. "...this humble Reaper is quite excellent at granting many...ah...petit mort, no? Les faucheurs sont bons pour accorder de petites morts, n'est-ce pas?"* One didn't have to know Old Alban to know what the Reaper of the Eastern Front had exactly meant—or what he implied.
Nevertheless, there was still someone out there who had to point out the blindingly obvious.
"Ah! Petit mort! Little death! It's slang for orgasm in Old Alban! Damn. That was some good pronounciation, sir!" It was hard for the Eighty-Six of the 86th Strike Package to hate Second Lieutenant Dustin Jaegar. Sure, Jaeger was a white pig. And yes, the dumb idiot had somehow managed to snag the Snow Witch as his maybe-girlfriend—a fact which rankled many a fantasizing male processor.
But the young Alban was innocent to a fault. Charmingly naive. Like a young puppy. You couldn't just hate a young puppy. You just couldn't.
Second Lieutenant Anju Emma—Jaeger's supposed maybe-girlfriend—merely facepalmed in response.
Shin cracked a wide grin. He was genuinely pleased at the Second Lieutenant proving his point, in addition to being outright amused.
"Thank you, Second Lieutenant Jaeger not only for showing that respect for one's superior officer still exists—but also for your truly edifying clarification of my words." Captain Nouzen's words had the impeccable flourish of the Empire's old nobility—fruit of his etiquette lessons with his grandfather. Shiden grit her teeth. Why did that bastard have to use so many fancy words just to show off! We get it, yeah. You're descended from some shitty noble clan of warriors. You're well-read and educated as any fancy noble pig. We get it.
Tension had somehow risen even further in the mess hall. It was sweltering, in the figurative sense—the temperature was scalding.
A single flicker could trigger a wildfire.
Second Lieutenant Shiden Iida of the Brisingamen Squadron—Cyclops of the Queen's Guard—marched up to Captain Shinei Nouzen, Reaper of the Eastern Front. She pointed her index finger straight at Shin's chest.
Then, Shiden puffed herself up. Shana was damned right to suggest that she occasionally wear heels. Her eyes glanced downwards—marginally so, but downwards nonetheless—at the Reaper's own red eyes, narrowed with fury.
"Big words. For a small man." Shiden—true to her Amazonian image—was slightly taller than even Shinei. Ah. How...irritating. It was an extremely aggravating truth for Shin who found it difficult to accept even Raiden—a faithful friend who was a second brother to him—being taller than him.
If words could not settle this dispute, fists would.
Shana went taking even more bets; the crowd around the Cyclops and the Reaper only grew further—and somehow managed to procure even more popcorn. Odds were two-to-one in Shin's favor. No one had forgotten Shin pummelling Shiden to the ground in the early days of the Strike Package.
Lena was not worried about Shin and Shiden. Sometimes, Shin and Shiden—the two idiots—needed to vent out steam, which they did through sparring with each other. In any case, they always made up afterwards. Something about "fists being able to say what you can't" and all that macho stuff—Shin and Shiden were such boys.
But still...the embarassment they were causing her...was too much!
Suddenly, a memory struck the blushing Colonel. Shin's words—cool but kind in their own way—again echoed in her mind.
"...If anyone treats you with disrespect going forward, punish them in accordance with Federacy military regulations. You have the authority and responsibility to do so."** They threw water at her, at first—for being a white pig. Shin told her that she didn't deserve that, that they had no right...and that she had the responsibility and the authority...to...punish...
...that's right. She had enough of this nonsense. She was Colonel Vladilena Milizé. Tactical Commander of the 86th Strike Package. Bloody Regina of the Republic. The Bloodstained Queen. What was it that Shiden loved to call her—Her Majesty?
It was time to remind the two idiots that alongside her formed their ménage-a-troi who was in charge. Lena took her face out her hands. Said face was no longer blushing.
There was a stern manner to the features of Colonel Milizé now. If there was anyone paying attention, a processor who had fought in the the Large Scale Offensive would have noted that Colonel Milizé had exactly the same bearing as she did when she was busy commanding Juggernauts to hold the impossible line against an unyielding Legion onslaught.
Bloody Regina slammed her fist on the mess table. Ow!
Thankfully, that "ouch" was left unvoiced.
Everyone stared at Colonel Milizè now. Including Shin and Shiden—who were dumbfounded at their beloved's anger. They were just having a spat. Wasn't like anyone was going to get seriously hurt. For all their many differences, the "Bastard" and "Girl-Gorilla" had exactly the same thought.
And Lena—from months of exposure to their idiocy—was aware exactly of what her two dumdums were thinking. Yes. Her dumdums.
Her responsibility. Her authority to discipline.
"Captain Nouzen! Second Lieutenant Iida."
Said dumdums were busy processing the broad array of thoughts that were going through their heads, as they witnessed the fury of their Bloody Queen. Oh shit. What did we do wrong. God, Lena is so hot when she's angry. Why does Her Majesty look so cool right now—
Needless to say, the two idiots were speechless.
Colonel Milizé sighed—and slammed her fist against the table. Again.
"Captain Nouzen! Second Lieutenant Iida! Are you deaf?" Bernholdt nodded in approval. There was an expression on his face, akin to a father proud of her daughter. Turns out that the young girl could apparently pass for a decent drill sergeant.
Shin swallowed. Shiden's hands trembled.
"...no." They answered their Bloody Regina at the same time. All thoughts of rivalry were extinguished. Common survival was now their highest priority.
Sadly, that was not enough.
"NO-WHAT? CAPTAIN NOUZEN, SECOND LIEUTENANT IIDA?"
Reflexes from boot camp kicked in. The two idiots stood at attention.
"No ma'am." Again, they answered in unison.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"NO MA'AM!"
Lena started to feel a strange sensation in her chest. It wasn't at all unpleasant. She was still angry at her two idiots, but for some reason...this felt good. Huh. Must have been catharsis, Lena reasoned. Yeah. Just catharsis. Just frustration exiting her.
Meanwhile, Annette smiled. Finally, a sister-in-arms! She took her tablet out of her satchel, and opened an app which tracked her reminders and appointments. Reminder to self—hand my copies of "BDSM for Dummies," "How to Handle Masochists" and "Being a Good Mistress" to Lena.
Theo shook his head and stared at Shin and Shiden as if they were two condemned prisoners on death row. Save yourselves, he mouthed.
Unfortunately for Theo, his mistress was watching.
"LISTEN TO ME, YOU TWO LOVABLE IDIOTS!"
Everyone in the crowd silently agreed that it was adorable how their Bloody Regina was sweet even when she was angry. More than a few stiffled their laughter. Unlike Captain Nouzen and Second Lieutenant Iida—they had the common sense not to blatantly piss off their superior officer-cum-lover.
"YOU HAVE EMBARASSED ME IN PUBLIC FOR THE LAST TIME! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT BOTH OF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO ARGUE IN PUBLIC ABOUT WHO GAVE ME MORE ORGASMS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FELT AS YOU BOTH PRATTLED ON ABOUT OUR SEX LIFE! WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE. PRI-VATE! DO YOU!?"
"Uh...no...yes...maybe...?" Shin bravely pushed through, towards unexplored territory—as befitting of one from the Spearhead Squadron. Unfortunately, this battlefield was littered with mines. Many, many mines.
"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, CAPTAIN NOUZEN! SURELY, YOU KNOW WHAT A RHETORICAL QUESTION IS, CAPTAIN NOUZEN?!"
"Uh...yes..." Critical hit.
"THAT WAS ALSO A RHETORICAL QUESTION, CAPTAIN NOUZEN!"
Again, Master Sergeant Bernholdt was impressed. Young lady had some lungs on her, indeed.
Shiden couldn't take it anymore. It was just too much. Watching that arrogant Lil Reaper getting put in his place—priceless. Laughing, Shiden fell to the ground. It took for about three minutes before Shiden could put an end to her bout of laughter.
Everyone, on the other hand, prayed for the repose of her soul. Shiden was, all agreed, a dead woman. Even Shin felt pity for her. Only a bit, but a bit nonetheless. When the euphoria evaporated, the reality of situation quickly dawned upon Second Lieutenant Iida as well.
"DID I SAY YOU WERE AT EASE, SECOND LIEUTENANT IIDA!?"
Once more, Shiden stood at attention in a flash.
"No ma'am."
"WHAT WAS THAT, SECOND LIEUTENANT IIDA?"
"NO MA'AM, NO."
Bloody Regina went in between Captain Nouzen and Second Lieutenant Iida and grabbed both of them by the collar. The Reaper felt a bone harden in his body. Second Lieutenant Iida let out a gasp—trying to ignore the increasing moistness of her crotch. What the fuck.
"LISTEN TO ME, CAPTAIN NOUZEN, SECOND LIEUTENANT IIDA! I AM YOUR BLOODY QUEEN, YOUR COMMANDER! I AM THE ONE WEARING THE PANTS ON THIS GODFORSAKEN THROUPLE! SO WHEN I SAY KNOCK IT OFF—KNOCK IT OFF, YOU HEAR!"
"YES MA'AM!"
Lena's eyes regained their warm glow. Internally, Shin and Shiden rejoiced. Their Lena was back—their cute, adorable, nice, cuddly not-angry Lena. Fighting the Legion was a frightening endeavor—but an angry Lena was truly something else.
Verily, they both would have rather faced a thousand Dinosauria than a pissed off Vladilena Milizé.
"Good. Now come here for a group hug you two. You may be idiots...but you're my idiots."