Chapter Text
Izaya was strolling down the street, humming a tune and thinking about what to do later in the evening. Perhaps tease a few schoolgirls into jumping from a building or maybe gather some intel online. He turned a corner and suddenly Ikebukuro was gone. Instead of the garish neon lights and all the hollering from street vendors, he was walking along two-storied houses fronted by well-trimmed green lawns and separated by white picket fences. He blinked and turned around but there was no Tokyo to be seen as far as the eye could see. Instead there was this uncanny scenario straight from an American sitcom. If it was a hallucination, it was a very realistic one, Izaya could smell wet grass, catch the faint scent of baked pies cooling by the window and hear kids shouting in some other block.
A bright sunny day was around him to add more to the feeling of otherworldliness. Any other person would probably have broken down at this point. Orihara Izaya shrugged and after a while carried on humming the exact same tune. A tiny puppy came bounding his way, shrilly barking with what Izaya felt was a death wish. His switchblade was in his hand and ready to silence the furry pest when all of a sudden Shizuo was standing in front of him which completely froze him to the ground.
"Izaya-chan! You should've told me you were taking a stroll, I would've joined you!"
Shizuo picked up the doggy and approached Izaya who did not register any of his words or take in the amicable tone in which they were spoke.
"Shizu-chan, I was just passing by. Gotta go now."
Izaya was ready to make a run for it but horrible furry creature lurched from Shizuo's arms and ran in front of him, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face.
"Izzy-chan! Are you okay? Let us get you home and-"
"Don't hit me!"
Izaya shielded himself and cried out of instinct. Shizuo was far too close, already kneeling by his side and that meant that Izaya was within punching range, in other words: as good as dead. A look of horror crossed Shizuo's face. Izaya noticed that his glasses were tinted pink. Maybe Shizuo had already killed him and this was hell.
"Izzy-chan, I'd never do such a thing! Maybe it's some kind of sunstroke or something. Let's get you inside, I'm calling the doctor."
Izaya crawled away then got up with a jolt. He tried to flee again but Shizuo grabbed his hand and stared at it with wide eyes.
"You're bleeding! This is not good, must get you some first aid. You can never be too careful with wounds."
Izaya was greatly confused. Magically disappearing metropolises he could handle, television set streets popping out of nowhere he could cope with, but Shizuo making a fuss over a cut that was so tiny, he did not even feel, was too much. Now that he paid close attention, Shizuo looked quite different. He was wearing some sort of jumpsuit and his hair was cropped shorter than usual. Then there were the strange glasses.
"Shizu-chan? It's you, right? Heiwajima Shizuo?"
Shizuo laughed.
"You're always so funny, Izzy."
"Izzy?"
Izaya found himself ushered into a one of the very neat houses that turned out to be even more tidy and pretty on the inside. Shizuo produced an elaborate first aid kit and a disinfectant. He looked exceedingly worried as he looked into Izaya's eyes.
"Now Izzy, this will hurt a bit. Just bear with it for a while, okay?"
"Who the hell are you calling 'Izzy'? And just give me that."
Izaya disinfected and bandaged the insignificant cut without even batting an eyelash. Something way too creepy was going on here and he wanted nothing to do with it. He was about to leave when he heard his own voice chirping merrily.
"Shizzy! I'm home! Guess what, today I drove past this new Italian restaurant. We should check it out, make it a romantic night out. What do you think?"
Izaya paled. His own self was standing on the threshold, a longer version of his trademark jacket on, and carrying the small dog under his arm. Izaya's jaw dropped. He stared in complete confusion. For once in his life Orihara Izaya's mind was utterly blank.
The other Izaya stared back. After a whole minute of silence he put down the dog and said:
"My, aren't you a handsome fellow!"
Izaya snapped. He swiveled his blade and aimed them at the far too familiar pair.
"You move and I'm slashing your pet into ribbons."
They gasped. The other Izaya hugged the dreadful little bugger in question and Shizuo shuffled very uncomfortably.
"There's no need for violence. I don't understand what's going on here but I am really against violence."
Izaya looked from one to the other.
"Then you can't possibly be Shizu-chan. And who the devil are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Orihara Izaya, friends call me Izzy."
"I'm Orihara Izaya and no one dares calls me anything else."
"We can't be the same person…maybe you're my long lost twin?"
Shizuo smiled conciliatorily.
"Yes, it must be some sort of misunderstanding. But how extraordinary!"
"Verily so, darling!"
Izaya rolled his eyes. Whoever these people were, they were idiots. That much was clear. Before he could come to other conclusions, a sign post smashed through the window and Shizuo, the Shizu-chan Izaya knew so well, was kicking at the broken glass as he climbed into the tastefully decorated living room that was rapidly becoming a mess.
"Izaya! Thought you could run away from me? Think again, smartass! I told you to get out of my turf and-"
Shizuo halted. A deep furrow formed between his eyes. He looked from one Izaya that stood predatorily-like with his knife out and the strange Izaya with the weird tunic or whatever it was. A blonde eyebrow twitched.
"Fuck me. Two of them. Two fucking Izayas. Because one wasn't bad enough. Oh no. Now there's two of them. Screw this."
"Shizu-chan! You're back! Look, we've got to find a way of getting back to Tokyo-"
"Eh? Say what, Izaya-kun? If there's two of you now that means I have twice as many bastards to beat into a pulp."
Shizuo spat out his cigarette and stepped on shattered glass, the sign post firmly held in his powerful hand.
"Don't you think this is too weird? Look around! You got a doppelganger too!"
Shizuo noticed the other Shizuo.
"I am afraid that I must call the police. This is trespassing and-"
And no one ever found out what more offenses he could pin on Shizu-chan because dear Shizu-chan hit him in the head with his current weapon of choice.
"Not anymore I don't. Only two Izayas now."
"Shizzy!"
Izaya rolled his eyes again and sighed.
"Could you please not sound so pathetic? Since you look like me and all that."
Izzy was too busy sobbing over Shizzy who was flat out passed out.
"I-za-ya-kun? After I'm done with your clone, I'm going to finally kill you."
Shizuo smiled with dangerous intent.
"Goddamn, Shizu. Will you put that aside for a sec? We should be working together to find out just what this place is, how we got here and more importantly how we-"
"Blah, blah, blah. You sure don't know when to shut up."
Without further ado Shizuo shoved Izzy aside and sent him flying against a wall. Izaya flinched. So that's how he looked when Shizuo went all crazy on him.
"Shizu-chan, let us calm down and think about this."
"'Calm down'? No can do. I've put up with you for way too long and now thanks to your sorry ass I'm stuck here- wherever this is and I'll be damned if you're getting away with it."
"What? I have nothing to do with this, we're in the same boat here. I have no idea what's going on."
Shizuo seem to consider this.
"Shit."
"I was going to ask these guys but you pretty much screwed that."
Shizuo kicked Shizzy.
"They're not dead."
"I can't interrogate them when they're knocked out! Let's just look around and see what we can find out. And cover this mess, I don't want to deal with nosey neighbors."
Shizuo pulled the curtains to hide the broken window.
"Big place."
Izaya rummaged through Izzy's pockets and inspected his wallet.
"What do you know, he's Orihara Izaya according to the driver's license. Wow, guy's loaded. Look at all these bills!"
Izaya made of fan of money that he then pocketed.
"Filthy thief."
"Now, now, I'm not stealing. He's Orihara Izaya, I'm Orihara Izaya, so this money belongs to me as much as it does to him. Oh, look, he's a stockbroker. Nice. You go through Shizzy's stuff."
Shizuo grunted and mumbled something about stupid names.
"This one's also loaded. Says in this thingy that he's in real estate."
"So respectful! I am amazed. Let me try something."
Izaya punched a number on his phone and two distinct ringing tones sprang, one from Shizzy cell and the other from Shizuo's.
"Same number and all! Unbelievable."
"How do you have my number in the first place?"
"Never mind that now."
Izaya punched another number and waited.
"Not working. Can't contact people back in Tokyo."
Shizuo found a drinks' cabinet and took a swig of vintage whiskey.
"Good shit."
"Shizu-chan, now's not the time to get drunk."
A grunt was the only reply. Izaya ignored it and hopped to the first floor via a rose wood flight of stairs. He ambled into a huge bedroom with a massive double bed and there it was what he fully expected to find, a laptop. Izaya lost no time logging in, shaking his head at the folly of leaving such a thing without password protection, and chuckled at the wallpaper that was showed the annoying puppy. A few minutes of browsing made him forget all about stupid pets. He shouted from the banister over the stairs.
"Shizu-chan! Drop the booze and get here now!"
"Don't wanna."
"I found out where we are…and…you're not going to believe it."
Shizuo cursed but at length he joined Izaya.
"So what, genius boy? Where the fuck are we?"
"Shibuya."
"Aren't you a funny one."
"I'm not kidding. This is Shibuya…or a Shibuya, to be more precise."
"Huh?"
Izaya turned the monitor to face Shizuo. Two-storied houses, green lawns, and Tokyo tower right in the middle of a street exactly like the one they were on.
"What the fuck?"
"All Tokyo's like this. Apparently we are in some kind of alternative dimension or parallel world. In this world Tokyo was rebuilt by an American company after WWII and even after that this weird design became so popular that the entire city is like it."
Shizuo scratched his head.
"I don't get it."
"Ever heard of 'many-worlds'?"
"You're giving me a headache."
"Gee, I bet that has nothing to do with the whiskey, huh."
"Izaya-"
"Oh look, a video. Let's see."
Izaya clicked on the icon and moved to the bed that bounced when he hit it.
"Can't you just leave it alone? Just what are you, a voyeur?"
"Pretty much. And look, waterbed! Nice. Really nice. I could get used to this life but what would I do without tall buildings?"
Shizuo's reply was again a grunt but he joined Izaya in watching the video. They recognized the room right away, the bed gave it away. And they also recognized the slim brunette that was on all fours on the black sheets, completely naked and very hard.
Izaya whistled.
"I'm sexy in all worlds and in every single dimension."
Shizuo snorted. But he did not turn away from the laptop where Izzy was pushing a vibrator into his ass and moaning softly under his breath. Izaya watched very close as his counterpart slowly pushed the toy in and out in a slow motion, now this was what he called entertainment. Izzy sat with the throbbing device deep inside and spread his legs wide open.
"Shizzy, don't just stand there watching…"
Shizuo gasped as his own counterpart stepped into view, also very naked and sporting a dripping hard-on. Izaya whistled again and stole a glance at Shizuo who was frowning darkly in that angry way of his. Izaya shifted, his pants were getting a tad tight around the groin area.
The two naked men mingled in a kiss, limbs entangled, cocks rubbing together. It lasted a small eternity in which Shizuo's frown darkened while he became hard. Izaya could hear his own voice distorted in a series of whimpering moans and it was much hotter than he could have imagined. Shizzy pulled out the vibrator and after asking for permission thrust into him. They locked hands as they rocked in tandem, calling out each other's names and hardly breaking the kiss even as they came. It took a long time before Shizzy pulled out and Izzy cuddled happily and giggled.
Izaya swallowed. It had been a while since the last time he had been this aroused. Shizuo did not budge nor did he utter anything.
"Heh…I always knew I could have a career as a porn star. Only goes to show I was right."
"Hmph. That guy isn't you at all. They're all lovey dovey, makes me sick."
"It also made you horny by the looks of it."
"Shut the hell up. I'm no homo."
Shizuo snarled. Izaya tumbled back in bed and spread out his arms.
"Yeah, yeah. You're the straightest guy this side of the Edo."
"You think everybody wants you."
"Correction, Shizu-chan. I know everybody wants me. Can't blame them since I am hot."
Izaya removed his jacket. Shizuo did not want to notice how the flimsy shirt drew every detail from Izaya's body, hard nipples stood out through the fabric and Izaya pinched them.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Getting off. If you don't like it, don't look."
Izaya unzipped his erection and proceeded to pump himself, fast and furiously, his left hand roamed his whole body.
"Oh, Shizzy…"
"You're thinking about that loser?"
Izaya turned heavy lidded eyes to him.
"Got a problem with that?"
Shizuo watched him very closely. Izaya slowed down to give him a show.
"Guy's a peace loving pussy."
"Well maybe I don't want abusive borderline legal sex but some sweet lovemaking."
Shizuo humphed.
"Yeah, right. And maybe pigs fly."
"Maybe they do in this world."
Izaya picked up speed, a bit of pre-cum oozing as he squeezed.
"Funny. Haha."
"Shizzy-"
"Shut up with this 'Shizzy' talk! Guy looks like me, it's weird if you say his name-"
"Finally catching up, Shizu-chan?"
Shizuo pounced. He was all over Izaya, kissing, biting, undressing.
"Fuck you, Izaya."
"I was hoping for that."
Shizuo held him down more forcibly than needed. And it was in the same spirit that he lifted Izaya's legs and rammed into him, crushing their bodies together. Izaya hissed at the sudden and painful intrusion. He gripped the covers and held on for dear life. Unceremonious grunts as he set for a fast pace was about as romantic as was his fucking: not at all, but this kind of raw sex was without a doubt Izaya's thing. Which did not keep him from teasing Shizuo.
"Shizu-chan…ever heard of foreplay?"
"Waste of time."
Izaya wrapped his legs around Shizuo's body, feeling bulging muscle just under sweat covered skin. Hot hardness filled him over and over again. There was less bite to his kissing now but Izaya had a vague impression that he was bleeding. Not that he could bring himself to care either way, he was edging closer with each deep thrust.
"You guys can't do that in our bed!"
Shizuo did not even spare a glance at the owner of the hysteric voice screaming at the threshold. Izaya could just partially see the clone couple, Shizzy in front while Izzy hide behind him.
"Well, hi there! We're just borrowing it for a while- fuck, Shizu-chan…"
Izaya always wanted to do this with an audience. It added another thrill to it all. Shizuo, however, hardly noticed any third parties. He pulled Izaya's arms over his head and held both wrists with just one hand. Izaya screamed not so much in pain as with sharp pleasure that heated him from within and then spread outward. He came violently, trembling and splashing Shizuo who came a few short moments later. Shizuo pulled out while Izaya was still enjoying his afterglow. The covers were now a mess.
"My vest's dirty, you bastard!"
Izaya stretched.
"Not my fault you didn't get naked."
Shizzy interrupted this wonderful pillow talk moment.
"I don't know who you people are, where you came from or why you look just like us- but you're trespassing! And doing…stuff in our bed!"
Izaya calmly cleaned himself.
"Ah, you're almost like Shizu-chan when you get mad. Glad to see you're still alive and kicking."
Izzy peeped from behind Shizzy with barely contained curiosity, leaving Izaya to conclude that it took more than alternative versions of himself to take the kink out of Orihara Izaya.
"Shit's messed up."
Izaya did not know precisely what Shizuo was talking about. It did not matter much as far as he was concerned. Shizuo lit a cigarette and his frantic puffing immediately activated the smoke detector and sent showers of water raining on everyone.
"Smoking's been outlawed years ago! What are you doing?"
Shizuo stared at his counterpart, glaring furiously. The water ebbed away but he was already drenched to the bone. Not a happy camper.
"So apart from the fucked up buildings and creepy gushy love-love crap this world doesn't have cigs? Shit's so messed up."
"Huh? This world? What?"
Izaya picked up his now wet jacket and wringed it a bit.
"To make this less confusing, I'm Izaya, he's Shizuo. We come from a parallel universe, or whatever you want to call it, in which Tokyo isn't Desperate Housewives. Nice to meet you and congrats on your video skills, that porn was hot."
Shizzy blushed, Izzy giggled very much like a schoolgirl.
"That was private- and what do you mean, parallel universe?"
Izaya picked up some clothes from a closet and handed Shizuo something dry to wear as well. He then flipped open his cell phone and displayed a picture of city at night. Shizzy looked at it and blinked confusedly.
"That's Tokyo…?"
"Indeed it is! Our Tokyo, at least. And so far it seems to beat yours by far."
Izzy stepped from the cover of Shizuo's body and looked at the tall buildings illuminated in neon light.
"Oh, this city looks amazing! I want to visit."
Izaya gave him a thumbs up.
"I'll give you a personal tour one of these days. I know Tokyo inside out."
Shizuo mumbled darkly,
"Just don't get near Ikebukuro, I've fucking told you this a million times."
"This is Shibuya, though. You didn't say a thing about Shibuya."
Shizuo barked.
"You know what I meant!"
Izzy leaned against Shizzy, half going through the pictures in the phone and half looking at Shizuo and Izaya.
"So, what do you guys do in this city?"
Shizzy glanced at his partner.
"Izzy, we shouldn't be talking with these people."
"Why not? Aren't you curious about them? This is absolutely amazing! Sure, the wrecked window downstairs and the dirty bed covers are not nice but it's kind of hot that they watched our video."
Shizuo pointed at Shizzy.
"Couldn't you find a decent girlfriend? Izayas are bad news. All of them."
Izaya waved dismissively.
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Shizuo here is a bouncer at a bar-"
"It's called 'bartender'! Don't make it sound shady!"
"-and I deal with information."
Izzy turned to Shizzy and beamed.
"Isn't it great? They're like us and just like us they're a couple! It goes to show our love exists in all layers of reality."
Shizuo grew positively pale with rage.
"Are you fucking stupid? I don't love this louse, love my fucking ass! I hate Izaya! He's made my life a living hell, he's a dirty lowlife, a filthy thief!"
Izzy looked puzzled.
"But just now…you were having sex, so-"
"Ah well, I suppose this makes us sex buddies. Right, Shizu-chan?"
"Go die in a ditch, I'm not your buddy in any way. You're a slut and Ikebukuro's cum dump."
Izaya shrugged. Same old.
"Mister, you look like me but you seem to have severe anger management issues. Have you considered trying yoga?"
Shizuo gritted his teeth.
"How about I punch your face in?"
"Violence doesn't solve anything."
"You heard him, Shizu-chan! Actually, if you want to be Freudian about it, the reason why your temper is so short is because you're sublimating your sexual needs and channeling them into violence."
Shizuo was about to go on a bloody rampage so Izaya decided to backpedal rapidly.
"On a more serious note, how did you end up here? I was just about to reach the Sunshine building when-"
"I told you not to set a foot in Ikebukuro! Bet that was what triggered all this!"
"You do realize that doesn't make any sense?"
"Whatever. Fuck this."
"Just try to remember what you were doing at the time."
Izzy and Shizzy took seats and watched their counterparts as one would watch a soap opera.
"I was taking a break when I heard you were prancing about like the disrespectful bitch you are. So I got a sign post and charged ahead in the hopes of finding you, when I was close to the Sunshine Tokyo disappeared and I was in this trippy place. That's when I saw fucking Izzy here driving and chased him here."
"Hmm…so maybe the Sunshine building is connected, somehow."
They were considering this, or at least Izaya was, when Izzy chimed in.
"Let's have lunch! I'm sure we'll think of something once we have some food in our bellies."
*
That was how the four of them found themselves sitting in a large kitchen about half an hour later and eating tasty rolls of sushi with varying degrees of eagerness. Shizuo, for all his complaining, had nothing to add as he wolfed down the food in front of him. Shizzy was more interested in paying attention to the chirpy conversation between the Izayas and only occasionally picked a bit of mackerel and seaweed from his plate. Izzy and Izaya hardly ate at all but instead talked and talked.
"So, when did you meet Shizzy?"
"It was at our high school entrance ceremony. I knew it was love at first sight!"
"A bit like us, then, minus the love part."
"And how was your first time together?"
"You shouldn't ask about that! It's private."
Izzy pouted.
"Why not? It's like talking to myself. I want to know and I'm sure Izaya doesn't mind talking about it."
Shizuo munched a shrimp. He was doing his best to block out everything other than the food.
"I'm cool talking about it, sure. Around thirty minutes ago in your bedroom."
"Really? I'd think you'd do it a lot sooner."
Izaya shrugged and tried some wasabi. At least in this world the food was essentially the same.
"Normally Shizu-chan just chases me, beats me up, threatens to kill me, insults me, chases me some more, bludgeons me in the head with sign posts and his favorite is throwing vending machines at me."
Izzy's eyes widened comically.
"Oh, and that's…foreplay?"
Shizuo broke a chopstick.
"I'm trying to kill the louse!"
Izaya ignored the outburst and carried on chatting with his counterpart.
"How about your first time together?"
"It was on Valentine's day! I made Shizzy some cookies and spread the rest of the chocolate on myself-"
"Izzy! Don't go into details, please."
"Don't be so uptight! I always wanted to have a twin brother and this is even better."
Shizuo grunted in the background and added,
"One louse, two louses, fucking hell."
"Izaya, I had plans to go to this new sex store, to spice up things a bit. Why don't we go together?"
"Great idea."
"But- but Izzy, you already have me! And that vibrator- are you saying I'm not enough?"
"Of course I love you but at times I'd like to try something new, you know?"
Shizzy pouted and Shizuo suddenly finished his meal and dragged him by the arm.
"That's it, you are going to man up some even if it kills you."
"Izzy! Save me!"
"Bye bye, Shizzy darling! We'll be back as soon as I find something nice! You have fun with our new friend now!"
Izzy waved and flashed him a hyper friendly smile. Shizzy's protests grew faint as Shizuo dragged him away to who knew where. Izaya smiled himself, later he would try to find a way back but for the time being he was going to enjoy the ride. After all this could be a world of fun.