Archive of Our Own

One Night

Lex listened for the sound of familiar footsteps outside his office door. Security had informed him that Clark was on his way up, and Lex couldn't say he was surprised. He'd left Clark's going away party before it had really gotten started. He'd been genuinely happy for Clark--he had worked hard to win Metropolis University's competitive journalism fellowship. Lex wanted to be among the friends sharing in his excitement about life after high school. But after the first round of toasts and the passing around of brochures for Metropolis University dorms, Lex had to leave. He excused himself, promised to call Clark later that evening, and raced to the castle to pour himself into a bottle of scotch.

He always felt out of place with Clark's friends and family anyway. Pete and Jonathan hadn't exactly warmed up to him, even if they no longer resisted his friendship with Clark. Lana had managed to become more cloying, if that were possible. While Clark had finally gotten over his inexplicable obsession with the girl, he still counted her among his closest friends.

He imagined that Martha and Chloe genuinely liked him. Chloe even flirted a bit when she was feeling especially bold, or when she was trying to make Clark jealous. But both Martha and Chloe had been, rightfully and understandably, wholly wrapped up in Clark, leaving Lex to brood in the corner, hands stuffed sulkily in his pockets.

So he left. Because he felt out of place. Or so he told himself as he sat drinking at his desk, looking out the window over the Luthor grounds. It was easier to lie to himself (he was always out of place in Smallville--why should that bother him?) than to deal with the truth: a melancholy like none he'd felt since before moving to Smallville had settled in over the last week. He was able to cope with being in love with his best friend because he saw Clark nearly every day. He and Clark had decided to remain just friends. Though Clark had been confident about the success of a romantic relationship, Lex had resisted. Clark had been too young and Lex, he had to admit, had been terrified. Clark had eventually given in and their feelings for one another had gone unspoken ever since. Unspoken or not, though, the feelings were always there, giving weight and substance to their friendship, setting it apart from the relationships they had with everyone else. Lex might not be able to have him as his lover but he certainly had Clark in his life. And Lex contented himself with that because Clark was the best thing in his life.

But now Clark was leaving and Lex had no real claims on his best friend. He thought he was prepared for this day. He wasn't prepared at all. His heart hurt, and attending Clark's party had only intensified the pain.

That was irrelevant, however. Clark would be here any moment and Lex would be an adult about this. He wouldn't burden his friend with his own regrets of words left unsaid, of chances not taken. He wouldn't jeopardize this friendship by not letting Clark go.

Lex turned around as the door opened. "Is the party over?"

"Yeah," Clark said simply. He crossed the room and dropped on to the sofa across from Lex's desk. He stretched his legs out, put his hands under his head, and closed his eyes. They were quiet for several minutes. Lex, guiltily, took pleasure in the tanned skin visible where Clark's shirt had ridden up.

"So, was leaving early part of your devious Luthor plan to get me all to yourself?" Clark said when he finally opened his eyes.

"That obvious, huh?" Lex smiled at the teasing look Clark shot him. It was just like Clark to wordlessly forgive him for being a prick (who actually bails on their best friend's going away party?) and assume the task of trying to cheer up the older man.

"Not as good as your usual ploys of first run movies in your personal theater or rides in expensive Italian cars, but it worked. I'm here. What do you have planned for me?" Clark rolled onto his side and looked directly at Lex.

"Well, I don't have any new movies or new cars to show you. I suppose we'll have to think of something else." This is what he would miss. Their banter, the flirting that never quite got to the truth. He wondered if Clark would miss it, too, if that was why he was looking at him through impossibly long eyelashes with impossible beautiful eyes.

"We could make out," Clark said.

"Make out?" Lex wasn't expecting that.

"Make out. You know. A kiss here. A grope there. Maybe some nudity." Surprisingly, Clark didn't blush. He just stared at Lex with the same intensity that had been there since he opened his eyes. Was he serious?

"Is this part of your devious Kent plot to seduce me?" Lex asked hopefully, although he wasn't sure just what he was hoping for.

Clark sat up and slid to the edge of the sofa. "Is it working?"

Clark was serious. Lex couldn't do this. He'd made a promise to himself to let Clark go, to prevent him from making a mistake he would surely regret. He couldn't keep that promise if Clark kept looking at him like that. "I can't do this tonight, Clark."

"Do what?"

"This. Pretend that you and I will ever be more than friends."

"We are more than friends."

"You know what I mean, Clark." Please don't make me explain, he pleaded silently.

Clark studied Lex for a moment, and then settled back in the sofa. "So, not even one little kiss?"

The intensity in his eyes was gone, replaced by the something Lex couldn't quite put his finger on. "As beautifully tempting as you always are, I'm going to have to pass."

"Will you at least come over here and sit next to me? There's no danger in that is there?"

"There will be if there's any more make-out talk."

"No more make-out talk." Clark patted the sofa next to him. "Promise."

Lex poured himself another drink before joining Clark on the sofa. "When do you find out about your new roommate?" he asked as he sat down, hoping to steer the conversation in a direction that was easier for him to handle.

"You haven't given me a present," Clark said in response, as if the thought had just occurred to him.

Lex smiled at the non-sequitur. "I have an entire collection of gifts you've returned over the years. I'm beginning to get the hint."

"So you're not going to offer to pay my tuition or buy me a car or rub out any professors who give me a hard time?"

"I'm not going to offer...but if you need any of those things..."

"You'd actually have a professor killed?"

"If you asked."

"..."

"I'm kidding, Clark." Mostly. "I did get you something, though."

"You didn't have to," Clark said, looking around the room as if trying to spot his gift.

"Is that why you mentioned it?" Lex teased. "Before I give it to you, though, I need to explain."

"Please don't tell me I need a lecture on Greek mythology or military history to understand my gift."

"Just listen. I knew you wouldn't accept anything extravagant. And you don't want me to help with money..."

"I want to do this on my own, Lex. That's why I worked so hard for the scholarship."

"I know. So I tried to think of what else you might need and I started thinking about my own college days, what I needed most back then. So I got you this." Lex took a small box from his pocket and handed it to Clark.

"I'm flattered, Lex. But since you won't even make out with me, I think it might be a bit soon for a proposal."

"Cute, Kent. Open it."

Clark found a single silver key inside. He looked quizzically at Lex.

"It's permission to take a break."

"I don't understand."

"I know we're not supposed to talk about your abilities." It was the only request Clark had made when he confessed. He didn't want to lie anymore, but he also didn't want the truth to define their friendship. "But ever since you told me the truth, I can't stop thinking about the constant pressure you live under and how the pressure has increased as you've learned more about who and what you are. That's a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders. Add college and living away from home for the first time.... I just wanted to give you the ability to get away from it all, take a break. The key is to my penthouse at the Metropolis Towers."

"I don't know what to say, Lex."

"Say you'll keep it."

"I don't want to intrude. I mean, your penthouse, Lex. Isn't that your getaway?"

"I don't mind sharing." No need to tell his friend he'd bought the place just so he could give this gift to Clark. No need to fool himself into thinking this wasn't about keeping Clark in his life. "Besides, it's not just about the penthouse. It's about knowing that you always have options. And it's okay to exercise those options. You don't have to be the person you seem destined to become. It's a lesson I wished I'd learned a lot earlier in life."

"Thanks, Lex." Clark stared at the key for several minutes, turning it over in his hand. Then he looked up at Lex, his voice a little shaky. "I'll keep the key, but only if we can hang out there together."

"Anytime," Lex said seriously. Thinking about what Clark's request did or did not mean could wait until later.

"Maybe in Metropolis things will be different."

"Different how?"

"We won't have to pretend. We can be more than friends." Clark grinned. "We can do whatever it is you're thinking about every time we're together."

"..."

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

Lex knew he wasn't going to regain control of the conversation. Clark had backed down four years ago only because Lex was more skilled at getting his way. Tonight was different. Clark was older now, more skilled at handling him. Clark wasn't the naive fifteen year old who kissed him tentatively on the hammock in the barn. Tonight he was a man determined to get what he wanted. "We've already tried that, Clark."

"No. I started it. Then you stopped it."

"You were 15. I had no choice."

"You have a choice now. Didn't you just tell me to consider all my options? You should do the same."

"Do you really want to have this conversation?"

"We're already having it, Lex. Is there some reason we shouldn't?"

"There are lots of reasons."

"Name one, Lex. I'm 18. All legal. I know you want me. God knows I've wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. What's the problem?"

"You're leaving for college tomorrow."

"I'll be at Met U, Lex. Three hours away. Besides, I'm here now."

"It's not as simple as that."

"How is it complicated?"

"This won't work...this...us. You only think you know what you want because you're in Smallville. There's nothing else here to want."

"Nothing besides you, you mean."

"Well. Yes," Lex said seriously.

Clark laughed hysterically. "God, could your ego be any bigger?"

Lex laughed, partly at his own hubris, partly to cover up the hope drowning out the hurt in his chest.

"Do you know how sexy you are when you laugh?"

"Clark--," Lex began sternly.

"You're sexy when you're about to give me a lecture."

"Clark!"

"Flustered is pretty sexy, too."

"I don't get flustered."

"Flummoxed?"

"We decided years ago that friendship was all we could--what are you doing?"

"Keep still. I'm going to lick your scar."

"Clark...You're making it very difficult for me to do the right thing here."

"That's the idea."

"We have to talk about this."

"Can't talk now. Kissing."

"..."

"Isn't that better than talking?"

"I don't want a one-night stand, Clark."

"So you want something?"

"Of course. I want so many things. But not a one night stand. That's what this would be. That's all it could be. And I can't handle that, not with you."

"That's not what this would be."

"You're leaving."

"So you said. But that's not the real problem. You're afraid of getting hurt even though you know hurting you is the last thing I would ever do."

Lex wanted to believe Clark, wanted to believe anything that would keep them as close they were right that moment. But Clark was right. He was afraid.

Clark interrupted his thought. "Besides, friends can't have one night stands."

Lex eyed Clark skeptically.

"Skeptical is sexy," Clark grinned.

Lex ignored the comment. "Friends can't have one night stands?"

"Not you and me. One night stands involve random sex between strangers who are never going to see each other again. We're going to see each other all the time."

"Not if having tonight destroys our friendship."

"How will we know if we don't try it?"

"That's seriously flawed logic, Clark. And even if it weren't...I'm not willing to risk what we have."

"I thought life was all about risk?"

"Remind me to stop dispensing Luthor philosophy to you."

"Do you want me, Lex?"

"That's the beside the point--"

"It's a simple yes or no question. Do you want me?"

"Yes."

"Do you think anything could destroy our friendship?"

"This might."

"This won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because we won't let it. We will allow ourselves this one night. We have spent four years avoiding this, pretending we don't want this. I don't want to pretend tonight. I don't want to be just your friend tonight. I want you tell me how much you want me. I want to hear you call my name as I make you come. I want to hold you in my arms as we drift off to sleep. I don't want to leave Smallville without telling you how I feel. Let us have tonight. Tomorrow we can go back to being friends." With every word Clark inched closer to Lex until their faces were only inches apart.

Lex ran his finger along Clark's cheekbone, down his neck, and rested his hand on Clark's chest. He couldn't remember why this was a bad idea, couldn't remember why he'd never made love to Clark. It made no sense him to that they weren't kissing right that second. "You know, if you asked me for things more often," Lex sighed, "you'd know I can't deny you anything."

"Not even yourself?"

"Especially myself." He knew there was no turning back. He would never be able to let Clark, no matter how much his best friend wanted or needed him to.

Lex ran his fingers through Clark's hair. Clark closed his eyes, sighed, and leaned into Lex's hand.

The older man leaned in and kissed his best friend. The kiss was soft and controlled at first. He forgot all his concerns, gave into the hope and tried to taste every corner of Clark's mouth. Then, as Clark drew him into an embrace, Lex surrendered.

"When do you have to be back home?" Lex asked breathlessly when they finally parted.

"Are you asking me to stay?"

"Yes."

"I'm here for as long as you want me."

Lex had watched the Kents drive away, standing in their driveway until
the red pickup truck disappeared. Back at the castle he slipped out of
his purple silk and wrapped himself in Clark's plaid flannel. The
shirt smelled like Clark--soap and hay and earth--and went nicely with the lingering taste of Clark on his lips. He settled into a chair and stared at the hastily written note Clark had slipped into his pocket just before he left.

He and Clark hadn't had much time to talk that morning. They'd lingered in the shower too long. By the time Lex's Porsche pulled into the Kent driveway, Jonathan had Clark's bags loaded into the truck and Martha had cleared the breakfast dishes. The Kents barely had time to ask Clark about staying out all night, although Lex was sure Clark would have to give them a proper explanation on the way to Metropolis. They'd had a brief hug, promised to call each other later in the week, and then Clark was gone.

"Only three hours away," Lex said aloud. He wondered how long he should wait before visiting Clark. I guess that depends on what's in this letter, he thought.

//Lex,
Whadda ya know? The sun came up. The world kept on spinning. And I feel exactly the same way I did yesterday. I hope you do, too. I guess I'll find out when you come to visit.

Always,
Clark

P.S. Naked Lex is definitely the sexiest Lex of all.//

Lex dialed his office and cleared his calendar for the weekend. He wanted to jump in the Ferrari (Clark was always partial to the Ferrari) and drive to Metropolis right away, but knew Clark needed to settle in without him hovering. This weekend, he thought. His friend and lover was only three hours away.